"Mom! Is that you!" Sophia cried when the nurse came and removed the breathing tube. She sounded so much like she did when she was four.
"Yes princess, I am right here," I said as my face instantly turned red and I had no control over my tears. I stood beside her as I gently caressed her brown locks. My locks.
Both the twins had Lucas' piercing blue eyes which I was grateful for because I loved his eyes that changed colour so much. Jamie was a mini Lucas with blonde hair although a shade dirtier than Luke's thanks to my brunette. Sophia was born with blonde hair too but as she grew older they only got darker and darker until they resembled my hair. Both of them had my nose and bone structure but there was no doubting that they were Lucas' too. They were the perfect blend of both of us.
"What about Jamie!" I heard Sophia ask me worriedly as her own tears freely fell. "Oh my god, I saw him get shot. He- he got shot because of me mommy! He tried to save me!" Sophia was sobbing hard, her heart was racing and all the machines that she was hooked onto began ringing wildly. A troop of doctors fled through the door instantaneously.
"She needs to rest, she is still too weak from the surgery," they said while pushing some morphine into her system. The result was almost immediate as my little baby girl fell back into a dreamless sleep.
Lucas just stood there watching the entire encounter before rubbing his hands on his face and hair and exiting the room to most definitely go check on the progress of our son. I knew Soph would be out cold for a while so I followed his footsteps to wait at the foot of the bed of another child of mine.
I saw that Nathan and Haley had occupied the room as they quickly got up from the chair there to give us the spot closest to the bed.
"Thanks for keeping an eye on him," I whispered as I tugged them back down on the chair, allowing them to stay close to him.
"He is my godson," Haley said as a tear escaped her eyes.
Nothing happened. Jamie never even so much as moved a finger or fluttered his eyes and Sophia was still passed out from the effects of the drugs coursing through her system.
Half way through visiting hours I had made Peyton go back home. She should not be worrying in her condition or be stuck in horribly uncomfortable hospital chairs during her pregnancy.
"B, I'm in a hospital, I think it's the best place to be when pregnant and besides I have a tonne of time before I am anywhere near delivery," she had argued.
"P, i want my niece to get all the rest she deserves and you're already overworking with Red Bedroom. If either of them even moves a finger, you will be the first to know and you can come back here immediately okay?" I said, although we both knew that the chances of any of those events happening that day were slim to none.
"You promise me, B Davis? I feel like a crappy friend already ever since the divorce," she said sheepishly.
"Peyton! Come on! I shut all of you out and dived into work. You couldn't have done anything even if you wanted to. Speaking of…" I trailed as my phone vibrated and the caller ID read Clothes over Bros.
"Yes Millie," I answered, already exasperated before the start of the call. "No, I can't. What! No. Millie, I don't give a rats ass about any of it. They can cancel everything for all I care. Haha, of course he said that. Obviously Millie! Just deal with it or don't, I genuinely have zero interest. Why do you always play the investor card! Millie, my kids are hurt and alone. They were shot in their school by none other than their grandfather. And you know this because every newspaper and channel is turning my family's tragedy into clickbait. I am going to be in Tree Hill for some indefinite time until they heal and until I say it is okay, I am not going to answer a single call from you or anyone else. The company can go to hell…. Actually I do know one person who can take over the administration but you're not going to like this one bit. Call Victoria. Yes, my mother Victoria from Milan week. I have all the designs ready for the spring collection, get Jennifer Lopez to try her wedding gown and you get the modifications done by Brittany. Nobody else but Brittany, although I think there shouldn't be any alterations. No, no, no. We are not discussing the magazine or cosmetics. I don't care that I hate Victoria or that she made my life a living hell and only came crawling back when she saw how successful I was. Spinning straw to gold, she had said. She will keep the investors happy. Now I don't care even if the company shuts down tomorrow. No calls until I say so. No… I don't know how long I am going to spend in Tree Hill. Bye Millie, I'm sorry I just can't do work right now."
"So you're planning to stay in Tree Hill?" Lucas asked, catching the tail end of the conversation.
"Wait, before that! You're designing Jennifer Lopez's wedding gown!" Peyton jumped in. "Are you invited to the wedding?"
"Yeah," I chuckled, ignoring Lucas. "Close friends, but nothing like you." I gave her a wink as she swatted my arm.
"Ow, what did you do that for!" I cried.
"Take me, you goof! Can I be your plus one? Pleasee!"
"Oh P! Just go home and get some rest. Get Nathan and Haley to go too. Their children are home all alone with Skills babysitting. They will drive you," I said as I rolled my eyes before helping her up the chair and following her to Jamie's room to get the other Scotts.
"So you mean it, about being in Tree Hill full time?" Lucas asked again.
"Yes, of course Luke! I am not going to leave my kids when they are hurt, obviously!" I rolled my eyes, annoyed that every act of mine had to be explained.
"You do know that they have been sick before, right? And I have been perfectly capable of taking care of them," he reminded me.
"Stop it, Luke. Just stop it. I know what you think of me. You said it on the day of the trial, the day I lost my custody and I lost the most precious things in my life. Your words have stayed with me ever since, Luke. I know it. I am an Unfit Mother. You said that to me. Those exact words. They haunt me even today, Luke. You said it and I believed you. That's why I dropped the fight and agreed that you could have sole custody. We had agreed that we would not Parent Trap the twins and split them because this was hard enough for them and losing their sibling in addition to a parent would just rip them to shreds. You really think that I would not be able to hire a fancy ass family lawyer and get custody one way or another? You really thought I would give up fighting for my children that easily? Clothes over Bros was already an established brand by then. I could've fought you, hard. But I believed you. You still had a hold on me. That control. And I believed you. And so once again just like that time in boarding school. I crept into the night." I said in a flurry of rage.
"Brooke…" Lucas said, completely flabbergasted and speechless.
"Don't. I don't want to hear your opinions anymore. And they both need me, you cannot keep me away. Heck, Jamie… he- I don't even know if he will-" but I failed to complete my sentence as fear and sheer trauma got the best of me, leading me to cry for my son in a coma who I had no guarantee would make it. What if I never got to see his pretty blue eyes again? Or hear him get annoyed on the phone as I asked him about the play by play of each basket he made for the Ravens.
"Oh Brooke," Lucas sighed before walking to me and encircling me into a hug. "I know, I am scared too. I am sorry about what I said earlier. You are right, they absolutely need you here and I am glad that you are staying."
I clutched his shirt in fists as I cried into his chest. Lucas' hands went through my hair, bunching and holding them before placing a kiss on my head. For a moment, I felt like I was back to being High School Brooke who was living with Lucas. It felt so familiar. I inhaled his scent, he had not changed his shower gel or deodorant. He still smelled the same. My brain was screaming at me, we were crossing dangerous waters being that way in each other's arms. There would be more than two casualties. We had kids to think about and Lucas had his own personal life. 'Let me feel this for just a few more moments, then I will stop, I promise,' I thought to myself as I shut off my brain and let him hold me just for a little while more.
Lucas got a call towards the end of visiting hours to go get Karen from the Airport. Andy, her husband and their daughter Lilly were with her too.
"Should I drop you at the house on my way to the airport? Visiting hours will be over soon anyway," he asked me.
"Uhh, okay," I responded before following him to the car. I remembered the time he always got the car door for me. It used to be so romantic. But I didn't expect that anymore. Sitting in, he began driving to the house we had moved in together to make ours. His best seller had paid for it and it was perfect for our family.
"Uh Luke, I think I should go stay at my place," I suggested.
I saw the colour drain out of Lucas' face.
"There's going to be three more people in that house and I don't want to be a bother," I answered when he looked at me curiously.
"You're the mother of my children, Brooke. You are not a bother," Lucas affirmed.
"Please, besides, Karen, Andy and Lilly should also get space." The house used to have a room reserved for Karen but then that had been remodelled into Lucas' office.
"You want to stay alone right now?" Lucas asked as he continued driving in the opposite direction to the Davis mansion.
"I live alone in New York and get by just fine," I explained myself and then got angry at feeling the need to justify my actions.
"Not according to the tabloids," Lucas said a little too quickly.
"Who is the lucky guy to get the coveted title this weekend?" I asked, surprising myself about how casually I was referring to it.
"Also since when does Lucas Scott follow tabloid gossip fodder?" I kinked an eyebrow.
"Sophia has them lying about the house all the time and you're on the cover quite a bit, photographed with some actor or celebrity, or at least some article is always dedicated to your reminds me, how is Julian now? It's been a while since I saw him last," he replied.
"You know very well that Julian and I broke up. I'm sure the magazines mentioned it for your perusal. Why don't you tell me how our favourite editor, Miss. Lindsay Strauss is doing? Where is she, by the way? I thought she would be draped by your side by now, playing pretend mom with my children," I spat a little too harshly.
"She is in LA dealing with another book. She asked if I wanted her to fly back but I said no," he answered, looking straight ahead.
"Lucas, please just drop me home. We can't, we shouldn't, Lindsey, please last night stays between us, God! Why did we do that?" I berated myself.
"Nothing happened. We were scared, but yeah, we keep it between the two of us," Lucas tried to appease our consciences.
"Please just, Ocean Avenue, Lucas please," I begged. He sighed before turning on the indicator to change lanes and head towards the other side of town. Once we were back at the red door I felt myself feel crestfallen. I got out of the car and bade him goodbye.
"Brooke, I'll pick you up at 8:00 am, unless you want to come home for dinner. I am sure mom is looking forward to meeting you," he said to me.
"I'll see you at 8," I responded before turning on my heels and entering the house.
I sat in my house not knowing what to do. My stomach lurched and I realised that all I had eaten that day was the oatmeal in the morning. Memories of Karen's home cooked meals clouded my memory as my stomach lurched yet again. Maybe I should have accepted lucas' offer. But my ego got the better of me. I looked into the fridge and found it bare, obviously. I never stayed here to keep it stocked. I reminisced the days when all I did was eat out until Lucas had made me change my diet.
I sat there not knowing what to do. I was such a workaholic, I worked late into the night on a daily basis until I was sure I would crash in bed once home. Every other weekend was reserved for the kids and I always had social commitments to fulfil in New York as a part of the job. You work for celebrities, you show up for their events, so I never had the time to just be. That moment sitting on the couch all alone, it ached to answer the question... What do I do now?
I ordered some takeout and found the need to keep myself busy so I turned on my laptop and began researching recovery of gunshot victims in teenagers, PTSD, coma victims, how some may never wake up, therapy. Every article was worse than the other, every mild symptom directly went to death.
I got so scared, I didn't know what to do. I felt so helpless and alone. I tried consoling myself as I remembered my first night in New York after the divorce.
I had a big 3 bedroom penthouse loft in the Upper West side. There was a stellar view, food from Nobus, all the fame, all the success, all the money, invites to clubs and I was only 26 yet. I was young and famous. I had just given up all my responsibilities as legally I had no husband and no kids to my name. Yet, I found myself sitting on the floor in the middle of the living room with my head between my legs as sobs racked my body. I wanted to apologise to Lucas for everything, I wanted to hold my babies more than anything, I wanted him to take me back and to tell me that he would make it okay, that he loved me and he would take the pain away, I wanted to just tell him that I was stupid and foolish and I would sell the company if it meant that I could be back with him, all I wanted was to hear his voice, hear my babies' voices and tell them just how much I loved and missed them all.
But I knew I could not call Luke and I knew that both my kids would have fallen asleep by then. So that's how I spent the night. Eventually, my body could no longer produce tears and I grew tired and let my body just curl into a ball on the plush rug on the floor. I was tired and weak and lonely and broken. God, I was so broken.
Presently, I again contemplated whether to call Lucas and another time I chose to be strong and not give in. I heard the sound of the doorbell ringing, and assuming it was the takeout I had ordered, I rubbed my tears away and walked to the door. I was surprised to see Karen, Lucas and Andy standing at the door with Lucas carrying Lilly in his arms. Karen saw my broken face and immediately engulfed me in a hug.
"Oh, Brooke!" she said sympathetically. I broke down into tears as I shared my burden, letting loose in my pseudo mother's arms.
"What are you guys doing here?" I asked once I was a little fine and I realised that they were all still standing out in the cold weather, with Lucas carrying a sleeping child. "You guys must be so tired after your flight."
"Yes, but I just had to see you! Brooke, I am a mother myself and if any of my children were hurt, well frankly I would be the same as you. You need the support of your family right now," Karen said to me as I guided them to the living room.
"That's the one thing I have absolutely none of, Karen," I cried as more tears leaked out of my eyes. "The ones that are my family are fighting for their dear lives at the hospital and there is nothing I can do about it."
"Brooke, look at me, you are my daughter no matter what, okay? I love you just as much as I love Lilly and nothing is ever gonna change that. You look so frail, have you eaten?" she said to me, taking my chin in her fingers so that I was looking directly into her dark brown eyes.
"I ordered some takeout, it should have arrived by now. And thank you Karen, I really mean it. You have been nothing but great to me, I truly appreciate you for everything," I smiled.
The doorbell rang again and surely it was the food. Lucas, who had deposited Lilly on the couch, opened and paid for the food.
"You guys should eat with me. You must be so tired after the flight and I always call for way too much anyway," I insisted. It was true, I had a ridiculous habit of over ordering takeout and then rationing it through a couple days to avoid having to call and wait for more.
"Yeah, there is more than enough to feed a little army," Lucas said as he placed all the bags on the coffee table.
"I insist Karen, please," I said.
They agreed and I walked to the kitchen to set up the table. Lucas came to help me. We were silent. He knew where everything was from his time living here and so we worked in perfect rhythm even though we lacked harmony. It was strange to have people in the house, it had been just me for an odd day here and there for so many years now.
Dinner was silent and awkward except Karen asking for news, trying to make conversation. I tried to give her answers and engage with her, but it was difficult as my mind was elsewhere.
"Weren't you dating Julian, that movie producer? Sophia told me all about it," she asked me.
"Yeah, that was over a long time ago. Been over a year now," I replied, trying to shut that topic down. Lucas absolutely despised Julian even though Julian had been nothing but kind to him.
"Oh I'm sorry. We barely get to talk and catch up with your busy life and time difference. So Lucas, where is Lindsey?" Karen asked, directing her attention towards her son.
"LA," he replied nonchalantly.
Once dinner was done, Andy and Lucas stood up to run the dishwasher even though I said that I would do it myself. Karen held me down and told the boys to go. This left me alone in the room with her, making me shift in my seat uncomfortably.
I loved Karen but I tried to ignore her gaze. Her approval mattered so much to me and somehow I thought she too found me an unfit mother to her grandbabies. I had tried to avoid her every time I ran into her. But it was hard. This time, I focused my attention on Lilly who we had awakened for dinner. She was babbling about the dresses that I had sent her for her birthday, some special pieces from Baby Brooke. She went on and on about how much she loved them. I cooed at the little girl, missing the time when my babies were that little and I just held them in my arms and tried to keep them safe.
"Karen, wanna get going to Lucas'?" Andy said once the kitchen was spotless.
"Yeah," she said, getting up and holding her arm out for Lilly to grab. I walked them to the door to bid them farewell.
"Oh, no Brooke, you're coming with us," she said sternly.
"What, Karen, I'm fine," I tried to pursue her.
"Brooke, you weren't fine when we got here. You need to be around your family right now. Come on," she said with an iron fist.
"Karen, I really am fine. I- I shouldn't," I said dejectedly. "Please, I know I broke down when you came. But- uhh- I am alright now. Thank you but You guys should go to rest up, I will see you at 8 when you pick me up." I gave them a typical Brooke Davis smile before closing the door behind me to end the conversation.
Once I saw their car pull out of the driveway, I avoided the internet and retreated to my bedroom. I couldn't sleep. I wondered how I had managed to sleep so soundlessly just the previous night. Maybe the nervous shock had worn out my body so much, it had just drifted. I shoved any thoughts of maybe it was Lucas out to the far corner of my mind. I had come a long way and needed nobody and nobody's validation. I knew my worth and I could damn well be alone now. It did not stop me from checking my phone every five minutes to see if there was any update from the hospital. There was none. The night was hellish and long and I was just paranoid, scared and awake.
'I saw you online. Can't sleep?' A text chimed from Lucas. It shocked me but felt comforting nonetheless.
'Yeah, I just keep staring at my phone afraid I'll miss a hospital update.' I texted back.
'I guess that makes it the two of us,' came the chime.
'The Hargroves settled in well?' I asked.
"Yeah… Lilly is in Sophia's room and my parents are in mine. I contemplated crashing in Jamie's bed but it just felt wrong being in our teenage son's room like that so I'm trying the office couch today,' came his reply, making me laugh.
'Is it the same navy blue one that I picked out from that flea market?' I couldn't help but ask.
'Yeah… I never had the heart to change it. It was important,' he said truthfully.
'Well, it is a comfortable couch,' I said, trying to ease the tension that we both felt.
My mind flooded with memories of us on that couch. It was after Lucas' second book that we converted Karen's room into an office space for Lucas to write and obviously I was in charge of the makeover. That couch was my best find. Nathan and Haley had taken the kids for the afternoon while we worked on getting the office ready since it was impossible to work with two toddlers running around.
We were done quicker than we anticipated and so, Lucas and I just sat on that couch eating ice cream. I was talking about god knows what, making loud actions with my hand and the end of my spoon flicked some ice cream right onto Lucas' nose. I laughed as he got irritated. I crawled onto his lap and licked the ice cream away.
I remembered how his breath hitched in his throat as he felt my soft tongue lick his nose and then sneak in a kiss. He took our ice cream bowls and put them away on the table. His arms curled around my body in his lap as he began to feel me up and down. Both our breaths got heavy as I leaned into him, pushing his body deeper into the couch as I connected my lips to his. He was so sexy, his body slick with sweat from all the heavy lifting we had been doing to get the room done. I kissed his lips, then licked his neck before my hands found the hem of his shirt. I saw him raise his hands up as I quickly pulled it off of him. His hands seemed to have found the bottom of my tank top too as that too was quickly thrown onto the floor. We reconnected our lips after that, so hungry for each other.
We barely got the chance to be intimate together those days. Two kids can get a lot of nightmares between them and they absolutely love to snuggle. Yet, Lucas and I were young, only 21, so we somehow managed to keep the sparks alive, sneaking time at night or when somebody else was babysitting, a sly rendezvous in the hot tub or an early morning shower together. Having the Davis Mansion to sneak off too helped the most.
Lucas quickly pulled away the rest of my clothes off my body and laid me down. I got his belt strap, getting it undone and pulled it out in one swift motion. I tugged at his pants while he worked on unbuttoning them. We managed to kick them off as well and finally he joined on top of me.
He softly licked my breasts, making my skin erupt into goosebumps and making me feel tickled such that I was giggling under him. My nails trailed across his back, the sensations driving him crazy. He looked at me once more, silently asking for permission. I nodded my head as I clutched onto his soft blonde hair, readying myself for him to enter.
This always still made my breath hitch, even after all these years. He was just too big for me. I let out small pants as I adjusted to having him in me. Once he had slipped fully inside, he brought his fingers to my chin and pulled my head up. His eyes met mine and we spent a moment just staring at each other, feeling nothing but love and admiration for the other. He kissed my lips for another few moments before finally beginning to move. He went at a slow pace at first, allowing both of us to enjoy the feeling completely. I growled as I felt nothing but pleasure build within me. I wiggled my hips some, as if I was begging him to go a little faster. So he increased his pace and I matched his rhythm.
"I love you Brooke!" Lucas grunted between thrusts.
I took his lips in mine and kissed him deeply, shoving my tongue inside his mouth to battle with his.
"I love you too, Lucas Scott!" I said once we broke the kiss. This was enough as it sent us both over the edge, making us crash and feel our orgasms simultaneously.
Once we had finished riding them, I lay on top of him as he put the throw over us and began tracing patterns on my back. I just closed my eyes and put my head on his chest, listening to his still fast paced heartbeats and kissing his chest every now and then.
"Marry me," he said suddenly. "Oh god! Did I just say that out loud?"
I was shocked. Not knowing what to say.
"Well actually, screw it! Yes! Brooke Penelope Davis, you make me soooo happy! This life of ours makes me sooooo happy! Will you give me the honour to call you my wife?" he said, feeling reassured this time.
I began crying and then nodding my head yes! I looked at him with so much love, it amazed me, tears freely falling down my cheeks.
He kissed me and hugged me, pulling me as much into his chest as he could.
"I love you. I love you so much! You deserve a proper proposal with a ring and everything. And you will get that. You won't know when, you won't know where. But you will get it all. I promise to give you everything," Lucas said to me when he realised that he had missed all the steps of a proper proposal. There was no ring, or getting on one knee, hell there weren't even any clothes! But, I didn't care!
"I love you fiance,'' I said before kissing him as well.
— — –-
'Yeah it's not as bad as the one outside. Maybe it is time to get a new one for the living room.' Was the text I had received from him while I was lost in my reverie.
'I can get a Home over Bros couch sent over if you want.' I typed and sent before quickly unsending the text. Lucas wanted nothing to do with my work.
'I love your home decor line, Brooke. I really thought you did a stellar job with it,' he responded. Clearly he had read my text.
'Thanks. I think I will try to sleep some after all.' I responded before putting my phone away.
