Morning came eventually. I stood outside at 7:55 am ready in a formal grey dress, giant sunglasses, my purse and a travel mug filled with real-tasting coffee in my hand.
"Whoa, Brooke! We're going to the hospital, not a board meeting," Lucas said as he stopped the car near the red door.
"Well, I never really stayed here enough to keep a closet full of clothes. I only have some emergency formals in my closet and some random maternity outfits from when I was pregnant 16 years ago. I have no clue why I haven't donated those yet. I just never got the time to clean the place properly once we moved out," I sighed, although I was used to wearing tight formal dresses that basically cut off my circulation all day and night. Lucas found it funny, however, and I saw him chuckling as I got into the car.
"Where are the Hargroves?" I asked, noticing that it was just him.
Lucas eased the car out of the driveway before saying, "Lilly was taking her own sweet time to wake up and get dressed. I gave them Jamie's car keys. They will come to the hospital in about an hour or two. They are all still on New Zealand time so they just want to sleep in."
"Hey, why didn't I think of that? Maybe I can take Sophia's car, spare you the detour or just buy one, I might be here a while," I thought out loud.
I saw Lucas' face fall at that suggestion. He quickly steeled it again though, "yeah maybe. Did you sleep afterwards?"
"No…" I answered honestly, focusing on my nails instead. "Hence the sunglasses, I look like shit. You?"
"Nope," came his simple reply.
We got there to be greeted with only sleeping faces. We sat in Jamie's room for a while and then decided to try Sophia's.
At some point, Karen and Andy made it to the hospital with Lilly. They decided to keep watch in Jamie's room so Lucas and I stayed with Sophia. We sat on the couch in the far corner of the room, it was the only comfortable seat out there. Lucas was busy texting Lindsay on his phone while I just stared at my baby girl's chest rise and fall. That single simple action gave me so much peace and assurance. She was breathing on her own. She would be alright.
Somewhere sometime, while waiting endlessly, I ended up resting my head on Lucas' shoulder and falling asleep. I didn't even know when he joined me as his head fell on top of mine.
Sophia suddenly woke up in cold sweat and pain, screaming from a nightmare. We quickly shot out of the couch. All the monitors she was connected to were beeping as we tried to calm her down the best we could.
"Soph, Princess. Look at dad! Look at me. You're safe. You're okay. I am right here baby girl, there is no need to panic, it was just a bad dream," Lucas spoke to her trying to get her to pay attention to him and regulate her breathing. I was busy rubbing her back. Moments later, the doctor came in and checked on her.
"It was just a nightmare. She is fine, parents. No need to panic," he assured. "Sophia, just relax okay. You will be just fine."
"How is Jamie? I remember it all - Jamie arguing with the gunman to take him instead of me! Mommy!" The little girl looked 5 again. She cuddled her fragile aching body into me as I was already sitting on the bed beside her. Lucas stood next to me and stroked her head as she cried.
"Jamie is the same, honey. He is still in a coma. We are sorry. But the doctors are saying that he is getting stronger. Jamie is a tough guy, I am not afraid and you shouldn't be either," Lucas assured our little girl. Yet, she continued to weep vehemently in my arms. This made me think of all the awful things my baby boy was dealing with and it made me match her tears. Lucas watched as Sophia put her head on my chest and cried, clutching my grey dress. My own tears mixed with her, falling on her beautiful brown locks that I was stroking. I could feel Lucas' heartache for our son in the other room as he started breathing deeply, trying to stifle his own sobs.
"Can I see him?" Sophia asked as I continued to hold her and rock her in my lap.
"No not yet, but definitely in a day or two. Just get your strength back up," the doctor instructed before leaving the room.
"Who was the gunman? How many died?" mini-Brooke continued to ask curiously.
"7 victims and 1 DOA, Mrs. Flynn didn't make it," Lucas answered after a lot of hesitation when Sophia would not stop staring at him, waiting for him to revert. "They got the shooter, he is dead. So you have nothing to fear."
"Did they identify him?" she continued to ask. Why would she not just let it go!
"Uhhh… Why don't you rest up, and nap for a bit? Your body needs rest to heal," I interjected, moving myself up further on the bed and laying her on my lap.
"No, what are you hiding from me?" she asked, fighting my arms away and sitting up.
"Sophie, just please don't get worked up. You need to just concentrate on getting healthier," Lucas pleaded with her. He really just wanted to protect his little Princess.
"No, just tell me who it was! Who are the others that were shot? Who all are fighting for their lives? Is Zack okay? And Madison?" she asked, referencing her boyfriend and best friend who also happened to be Jamie's girlfriend.
We gave her the names of the other kids from school who had been brutally attacked and assured her that her close-knit group of basketball players and cheerleaders were all fine. However, we still fully ignored the gunman.
"Princess, why don't you sleep for a bit?" Lucas asked another time when she persisted that we tell her everything that we knew about the attack.
"Mom dad, please. I need to know. I went through it. I need all the data to process it. I cannot be okay until I know everything so please, in order for me to heal, tell me. Who was this sick person who thought that shooting at random strangers was fine? Was he high on drugs? Depression?" she asked, her voice thick with emotion and conviction.
I looked at Lucas with pleading eyes. I did not know what to say to her. She was my baby girl! How was I supposed to tell her that it was not random? None of it was. That she and her brother were the prime targets and it was the others who were innocent casualties in a shootout. I began crying hysterically and I just continued to stare at Lucas, begging him to do something, to change our fate, to make it better for her and me, to protect our little girl.
"Honey, uhh… There is no good way to say this. The gunman came specifically after you and your brother, because of me. Because of something that I did. You two are hurt, hanging on for dear life because of my mistakes. It's the same man who hurt my mom and me when I was younger, then your mom twice when we were your age and now you two. It's all my fault," Lucas had slipped onto the chair by the bed. He was crying hysterically.
I don't know what got into me, but I let go of Sophia and walked to that chair. I sat on Lucas' lap and just hugged him, letting him cry on my shoulders.
"Lucas. None of it is your fault," I whispered in his ear. "Not what he did to you and your mom. Not what he did to me and certainly not what he did to our babies. It is all his fault. His delirium. So if you are angry, be angry at him. If you want to hate. Hate him. Not yourself. But what is all that anger and hate gonna fix? Dan is dead and I'm sure karma will come for him. This is not on you, okay? You're an incredible father. I'm sure that Jamie and Sophia agree with me. Luke, look at me! Do you hear me?" I gave him another hug as he wrapped his arms around me and sobbed into my chest, letting all the tension frustration and pent-up emotions out. I rubbed his back to soothe him letting our heads touch in a sweet endearing hug.
"Thanks, Brooke," he said after some time which seemed like hours later but it was only a few minutes. He still didn't let go of the hug though so I didn't either, knowing that he needed an outlet for his feelings. He had been holding way too much stuff for way too long.
Sophia just watched, startled by the sight of her two parents' actions. Finally, Lucas let go and he kissed my forehead. I smiled and flicked a few tears from his face before getting up from his lap.
"Oh please continue to sit there by all means!" Sophia teased.
"Where is that fake brunette, Lindsey, wait till I casually drop this info in front of her when she comes for her next meeting to discuss dad's book," she said using air quotes. "I can't wait to tell Jamie. Wait till he hears about this. Oh…" Then her face fell again as she wondered the 'what if' in all our minds.
"Sophia! Your father and I have always been civil and this was just that! There is nothing to tell Jamie about this, and definitely not the fake brunette." I chided, yet laughed joining in on Sophia's hate for Lucas' girlfriend. None of us liked Lindsey, she literally gave me an instant headache by just being in the same room and I never had any patience to deal with her. Luke just rolled his eyes at us as the two of us continued to laugh about Lindsey's badly dyed hair.
"Yeah, for two exes who find it tough to even shake each other's hands without it being awkward, let alone a side hug during big events, you sure lost that funny weird 'okay, I don't know if I'm comfortable with this' face that you always make when dad is in your 3 feet radius. I wish I had my phone to capture it as evidence. All the hugging and the kissing and the lap sitting! Speaking of, where's my phone!" Sophia said once we had controlled our laughter after Lucas' 'it's not funny anymore' look.
"The hospital gave it to us with your belongings that they found on you. But it's at home somewhere, dead by now," Luke replied.
"Can you get it for me tomorrow?" she asked eagerly, I knew it was to text with Zack.
"Nope. You can have it back after you're healthy," Lucas laid down the law.
"What the he- I mean darn!" she stopped herself from cursing.
"Nice save, Princess!" he glared at her.
"But what do I do while I'm stuck here for god knows how long?" she complained, flailing her arms on the bed.
"You do realise that you just had major surgery, right? They had to repair your torn intestine!" Lucas yelled at her.
"That explains the sharp pain I feel," Sophia said, gritting her teeth.
I pressed the button for her to get more painkillers. Just then Karen walked into the room.
"Gammy!" Sophia said although she had begun feeling the effect of the drugs.
"Good to see you strong and recovering baby girl," Karen smiled as she walked to the bed and kissed her forehead. Sophia smiled and fell asleep again.
"Any change with James, Maa?" Lucas asked her hopefully.
"Unfortunately no," Karen sighed as her head fell.
"I'll go there for a bit," I said and gave Karen and Lucas a smile before going to Jamie's room.
I saw his limp pale body and took his large palm in mine. I stroked his skin with my thumb gently as I peered at his face. I remembered the time when he was born. Sophia and he were so little as they were preemies.
"Come on Jimmy jam…. I need my guy. I need my solid one, my dude. I need my kind bold brave fierce athletic reader who is so much like his father it feels like I'm looking through a time machine. I love you so much, baby. Just please wake up. I want more of your bear hugs. I wanna hear you talk about your current author fascinations, heck I'll even take basketball talk that I barely understand or follow. Just come on, please God, just one miracle. I can't lose the only family that I have. Please," I prayed out loud.
"He will be fine, Brooke. I promise you," Lucas said from the back as he squeezed my shoulder. Instant tears formed in my eyes.
"How can you promise me that Luke? Neither you nor I know what the future holds. Besides I would rather you not promise me anything because I know you fail at keeping them," I yelled a little too loudly for a hospital.
"What is that supposed to mean?" He asked angrily.
"You promised to love me and never let me go. Twice. And still, I was all alone Luke!" I cried.
"You ran away, Brooke!" He fought back. "You're the one who wanted the divorce. I just did what you wanted."
"What I wanted? I wanted you to chase me. I wanted you to fight for me! I wanted you to say there is no one else that you could ever be with and that you would rather be alone than without me! I never pushed you away, Lucas, despite everything you say and feel. I was holding on for dear life, but I needed you to need me back! Why couldn't you just let me all the way in? Why couldn't you trust me and give me some time to just figure things out? Why couldn't I just make mistakes?
"Brooke….." Lucas trailed off.
"I'm sorry, I don't know why I said what I said. I didn't mean it. Just these emotions are driving me crazy. I'm sorry," I said, waving my arms apologetically and taking a few steps back from him.
"I get it. It's fine. It's a lot of history," he said.
I just exited the room, needing some fresh air. I sat down in the waiting room, taking some deep cleansing breaths.
"Hey, mom and Andy are taking off. Lilly is getting very fussy. You want to head back with them?" Lucas asked me thirty minutes later, coming to find me in the waiting room.
"Sorry about the scene I created earlier. I don't know what got into me. I really didn't mean any of it. I'm sorry," I apologised. "Also, no, I'll wait here. It's not like I have anything to do at home. I was thinking of just crashing in the waiting room tonight. So you can head home whenever you want."
"My mom is right, you should stay with us. It's not a good time to be all alone. You can take Jamie's room," he said to me. How could he when we just had the conversation we had? He was very good at letting go of things that he shouldn't hold on to.
"No Luke," I began to argue.
"But Babe- uh, I mean Brooke, sorry," he said.
I blushed, shrugging his term of endearment away, "It's fine."
"Yeah, uhh. Really, I insist. Plus mom is cooking. She already expects you for dinner. She is making your favourite, pink sauce spaghetti. She is not going to let you eat takeout every night," he informed me. My mouth instantly watered at the thoughts of Karen's delicious spaghetti.
"Maybe I'll go back after dinner," I bargained.
"Sure, if my mum lets you," he said more to himself.
"Gosh, Karen! She is such a… well… mom!" I argued, not knowing what better would fit her description.
Lucas offered me his arm as I took it, getting up from the waiting room and settling on the couch in Jamie's room with him.
His hand automatically found its way on my thigh, second nature to him now since the years we had been together. We had never sat so close since the divorce. We never tried to be close, afraid that we would mess things up. But now, things were so wrong on so many levels that we just didn't care anymore. It seemed too trivial to be worked up about petty things like what all our fights were about. I knew that all he wanted was for me to feel that he was there for me, at that moment. He was here. I didn't flick his hand away but leaned into him instead, inhaling his scent and feeling that sense of comfort that my being craved for but had been refused for too long.
"Do you want to nap? You can rest your head on my lap and put your feet up on the couch. I will keep watch." Lucas offered.
"Yeah, that does not seem like a bad idea," I resigned and kicked my heels off my feet.
Resting my head immediately on his lap, his arm patted the side of my waist as I slept sideways. It instantly lulled me into a dreamless state.
Lucas woke me up gently when visiting hours were over and the nurse kindly yet sternly told us to go home. I was shocked at how deep my sleep was. Was Lucas really the reason for it? Was this High School all over again wherein I failed to sleep without him? No, I could not go back to that! It was just the fatigue and the stress of everything. That was what was taking a toll on my body. It had to be! It was the fact that I had no work so my body was not physically breaking but my mind was constantly fatigued. It had to be a weird mix of all of that!
I kissed both of my children's foreheads before Lucas drove us home. The delicious smells of a home-cooked meal wafted up to my nose as soon as we entered the foyer.
"Karen, this smells so divine!" I said, sniffing the air as I walked into the kitchen. "Do you need any help at all?"
"No, just relax. Everything is ready," she said, shooing me away.
"Why don't you wash up and get the table ready?" she asked. I smiled as I went to the downstairs bathroom to rinse my hands. I couldn't help but smile and feel my stomach churn. God, I missed Karen's food.
I set the table and we began to eat after saying Grace. Karen couldn't help but smile as she watched me, the girl she considered her daughter enjoy the spaghetti. She stuffed my plate with more even after I objected, stating that I was full beyond measure.
Once dinner was done, Lucas loaded the dishwasher while I went to go play a game with Lilly in Sophia's bedroom until it was her bedtime. Antsy knocked and came in, handing me a book to put the little girl to bed. I gladly took it, enjoying my time with the little girl. I read her the book and halfway through, she was out like a light.
"Man. I miss my babies being 5 so much!" I said when I got back to the living room.
"At my age, I find it just too hard! Lilly was just such a surprise for us," Karen confessed. She still had a smile on her face though.
"I think she is absolutely lovely. They're so curious at 5. At 16 they want nothing to do with you!" I pouted.
"I'm aware. I had to deal with both of you at that age!" Karen sniggered.
"Sorry Karen," I blushed.
The young grandmother laughed and flicked her hand no. Just then Andy walked into the room and looked expectantly at Karen.
"Andy and I are just going to go for a short walk if that's okay. Mind keeping an eye out for Lilly for me? Although I doubt that she will wake up," she asked us.
"Of course, Maa," Lucas said as he grabbed a book to settle onto the couch with.
"Well I should be heading out as well," I tried, collecting my purse and other belongings.
"Brooke, just stay here. If you want, you take your old bedroom, Andy and I can sleep in Jamie's room. I don't know why Lucas didn't do that in the first place," Karen said sternly.
"No Karen, you deserve the master," I put my foot down.
"So does that mean you will take Jamie's room?" she asked, raising an eyebrow at me.
Haha! I have my own place. I don't need to stay here but I can make sure Lucas stops being on the couch," I replied, kinking my own eyebrow at Lucas.
"Brooke, I hate seeing you all alone. You're still my daughter and I prefer you to be close. Besides what do you plan on doing once the twins are back home? Wouldn't you want to be here for them? They still have a long road to recovery. I am certain that you would want them in front of you all the time, it's pointless if you're living on the other side of town," she said sensibly.
"I never thought of that," I said looking at Lucas.
"You can obviously stay with us, Brooke. The kids will need you here," he answered like the good man that he was raised to be.
"See you might as well now," she said, crossing her arms at her chest, knowing that she had won the battle. I had nothing left to argue.
"Luke, are you sure? Say the word and I'm out. I mean it, no harm no foul," I offered to him.
"Sleep over. I better get used to the couch," he sighed, looking at the leather he was sitting on.
"What about Lindsey?" I asked, cringing at the name. God, even the thought of her made me throw up a little in my mouth. What did Lucas see in her?
"I'll talk to her later on. I am sure she will understand, the kids need you here. You are their mother," he said decidedly, although if he asked me I felt that Lindsey would be anything but okay about the fact that I was the one living with Lucas in his house and not her.
Karen and Andy left which meant that Lucas resumed his book.
"Hey, Millie!" I greeted once my assistant answered her call.
"Brooke! It's so good to hear from you! Are you calling regarding your return tickets? I am sure I can get you on a red-eye back to New York," Millie said enthusiastically.
"God Millie, the kids had gunshots and major surgery. A few days is not going to cut it. Why, what is Victoria up to?"
"She called an emergency Board meeting. She is really trying extremely hard to take ownership of the Company, calling you incompetent to run it given how you just left without any proper plan or delegation, that too during a Board review," Millie informed me.
"You know what, I really don't care. Yeah, I really don't! If Victoria thinks this is how low she is willing to stoop to get what she wants, it's her choice and if the Board is that insensitive given what has been going on if they seriously lack basic human decency and empathy, it's on them and I have no time or energy in me to waste on them," I responded calmly. Millie grew silent on the phone, not knowing what to say.
"I was calling to ask you, can you please send me a care package here to Tree Hill? I left without any of my things. Can you go to the loft and just send me some clothes, casuals, shoes, underwear, my toiletries and things. Also please send my laptop and iPad, maybe I can work remotely though I don't know if I want to or can. Just send everything to me," I instructed.
"Sure, to 4915, Ocean Avenue, Tree Hill, NC 28403, right?" she confirmed.
"No, 2709 Middle Sound Loop Rd., Tree Hill, NC 28411," I responded. "The address where you have been sending care packages of our new clothes to Sophia for the past god knows how many years!"
"Oops, busted! Are you mad?" she asked, more as a friend than an employee.
"Nah, it's fine. You can continue doing that for Sophia, let her believe that I don't know," I smiled.
"You're a great mom, Brooke," she said to me.
"Thanks, just hang in there with Victoria! Don't let that blood-sucking Vampire get to you," I joked before ending the call.
"Good to see you still at home Brooke," Karen said as she and Andy walked back into the house. "Okay kiddos, Andy and I are heading to bed now. See y'all in the morning. Do wake us up if the hospital calls." We nodded our heads as we saw her climb up the stairs and heard her close our- I mean Lucas' bedroom door behind them.
"Hey, umm I think I should retreat for the night as well. Umm, could I borrow something of yours to wear for the night? This dress is so old, it is really cutting into my rib cage!" I asked.
"Of course," he smiled, looking up from his book.
"Uhh, I don't want to enter your room. Karen and Andy are in there. Just give me the shirt you have on," I said, biting my lip at what I was asking from him.
Lucas didn't argue. He simply unbuttoned his button-down and handed it to me.
"Thanks," I said awkwardly as I looked at his muscular frame.
"Have you been working out?" I couldn't stop myself from asking, feeling the need to touch his toned body, but I controlled my arm muscles. Easy Brooke! He was somebody else's man now.
"Morning sprints with Jamie. He prefers it when I practice with him," he beamed proudly.
"Interesting," I said, trying to look anywhere but at him. "Okay, night then." With that weird-ass greeting, I turned around, wanting to stab myself at how much of a teenager I was acting like. I silently cursed and chided myself as I walked up towards Jamies's room. Lucas got up as well, making his way to his office.
Two hours later, Lucas walked inside Jamie's room to find me sitting by the window, staring out and brooding, exactly like he used to do on our balcony in the Davis home.
"No sleep? I just came to check on you," he said, knocking on the open door to let me know about his presence.
"Yeah, sleep is hard," I said, giving him a defeated smile.
Do you want some hot chocolate? I could make you a cup," he offered.
"Yeah, that sounds great actually," I replied. Lucas really made amazing chocolate.
Wait and relax, I'll get some," he said before walking out of the room. He came back ten minutes later with two steaming cups.
"You still like it with whipped cream and marshmallows right?" he asked, handing me the cup just how I enjoyed it.
I took small sips to avoid my tongue from burning as Lucas took a seat beside me on the beanbag.
"Luke can we just pretend for a little while that whatever happened between us didn't happen?" I asked before I could stop myself. "It's just so confusing. One moment I am awkward, walking on eggshells, the next I'm angry and bitter about the past only to be falling asleep in your lap a few moments later! I cannot have my mind focusing on what you think and feel about our history. Our heads and hearts need to be aligned only towards the kids. It's tiring and confusing and so irrelevant with what we have on our hands."
"Yeah, the school emailed me today. They are calling a meeting to discuss further measures. But it's gonna be bad because well you know who the gunman was," Lucas informed me.
"Yeah, Tori my publicist tipped me that there are reporters on their way to Tree Hill. Be prepared for tomorrow. Ifs gonna be complete chaos. God, I haven't even had the guts to read the news but apparently, this is major news.
'Celebrity fashion designer, Brooke Davis and bestselling author, Lucas Scott's twin children were shot in the latest school shooting at Tree Hill High by none of than Lucas Scott's father, Dan Scott who was recently released from jail, charges include attacking the divorced teen parents.'
It's like they couldn't pick which of the 25 stories in there was juicier. I hate living in the public eye!" I said exasperatedly.
"God, this sucks," Lucas said, mirroring my emotions.
"What is the doctor saying about the kids' recovery, Luke? I know you've been following up a lot better than I have," I asked him.
"Heck I'm constantly ducking and hiding from the other parents. How do we face them and apologise? Sorry, your kid went to school with our children. We didn't mean for them to be innocent casualties in a targeted attack? And the teacher that died! I mean-" Lucas couldn't even finish the sentence.
"I spoke to my lawyers about whether we could offer them some compensation, or maybe pay off their medical expenses and they said they could draft it up and speak on our behalf if we don't wanna face them," I informed them, having had an intense discussion with Legal who wanted to spin this to gain publicity, but I put my foot down that my kids would remain out of my professional world.
"Can they sue us for this?" Lucas asked worriedly.
"No. None of it was our or the kids' fault. Dan was released by the State after their evaluation for good behaviour. Besides you were emancipated as a child, severing all legal ties with him. And you being abused is not your fault," I answered him, repeating what my panel of lawyers had explained to me.
"You were too," he said apologetically.
"I'm okay. I still hate being grabbed suddenly by strangers which happens a lot in New York, but I'm surviving. I went to therapy. I - I learnt how to cope with what happened," I informed him, shrugging it off like it was nothing even though it was something, something big, despite all the years. I was still in Therapy for everything that went down.
"How is it that you still look better in my shirts than I do, Brooke!" Lucas suddenly said making me laugh loudly.
"I couldn't help but notice that this one was Clothes for Bros!" I remarked, feeling the material of the shirt.
"Sophia picked it. She said it matches the colour of my eyes when I'm happy perfectly," Lucas said to me.
"That's precisely the colour I was going for. I went through 250 shades of blue to find the right one. It had to be just that exact colour. I have a pair of this shirt in my closet back home," I confessed. "Why did she get this for you though, even though she knows everything?"
"Lindsey was dropping some not too subtle hints about taking the next step. She wanted to, you know, spend the night, uhh, do it in this room, but I didn't want that. She was getting tired of my excuses that I couldn't ever spend the night or be with her till too late at hers either because I had to always keep the kids in mind and be home before they got home. So she figured if she is here, it works out. I was not ready and I didn't want that, especially knowing that the twins would never approve. I was never going to let them see Lindsey and me together that way. Anyway, so she is trying really hard to make me realise what she wants and I'm just pretending to be an oblivious guy and Sophia got me that damn thing saying it would be perfect for a date outfit and gave it to me in front of Lindsay, all in that fancy Clothes for Bros box with the wrapping. The box had a card, 'The designer who got the perfect shade of blue holds the keys to your heart.' I never showed Lindsey the card but there was no denying that this shirt was my shirt, designed just for me. She was not happy," Lucas said honestly.
My chest tightened on hearing that. I felt so many emotions altogether. I was proud of my daughter and shocked at the note she had written. I was confused about Lucas and yet glad that he had not shared our (his) room with any other girl. I was surprised that we had shared it, so casually when apparently he had a law about that space and I also beamed over the fact that I had my house key, even after all these years.
"Maybe after the twins get better, you could give her a key, I can return mine if you want. Just maybe go with another shirt, and even though it's bad for publicity, maybe a Ralph Lauren or Hugo Boss," I joked. "The twins will have to learn eventually if Lindsey is who you choose to spend the rest of your life with. Lucas, you deserve to be happy. I've read Maxim's eligibile bachelor list and I've seen your rank. Hell, half of my employees are waiting for you to show up at my office in hopes to get your number. A couple of them are open enough to say it to my face that since we didn't work out, could they have a go and if I would give them your number! All of them being in their twenties!"
"You didn't wanna date any of those guys you're always photographed with after Julian? He asked me.
"No, I didn't have the energy or the inclination, honestly. It all just seemed so futile. It just felt useless. Like if I had the time, I'd much rather spend it face-timing the kids even though they would try to dodge me. By the way, thank you for enforcing the dinner facetime rule with them. I really appreciate that," I responded, wrapping my arms around myself. I hadn't had such an open and intimate conversation in so long. Peyton tried to get me to talk, but she wasn't as successful. Nathan and Haley were nowhere in the spectrum, at all!
"Of course, Brooke. They should talk to you at least once a day. Also, it was a cheap tactic to even make sure that you ate dinner on time. I know how pea-brained you can get when it comes to meals! I literally do not understand how one can forget to eat! Your stomach literally churns!" he chided.
"It sucks on the days that they eat out with friends. But, it's sweet how they make up for it and I'm usually still at the office at that time anyway. I literally do not even know what Jamie and Sophia's room in the penthouse apartment looks like! I barely see my own bed," I said, feeling a little miserable about my workaholic lifestyle.
"Brooke! You have employees! Lots of them! Delegate! Let Millie put out a few fires or someone else pick, I don't know, the fabrics or whatever for whatever season comes next," he continued to yell at me.
"I would never!" I scoffed. "Our fabrics are sourced from India and Columbia and some African countries which are so rich in materials and we are providing income to women out there who don't have a source of livelihood! Do you know how many choices are available there? 250 shades of blue Lucas and I didn't even bother with the darker or lighter tones. 250 in close range." I pointed to the shirt I was wearing with my fingers for emphasis.
"I know Mother Teresa! It is common knowledge how charitable the company is. The big company with an even bigger-hearted founder. Correct me if I'm wrong, but what 25% of the profits of 'Zero is Not a Size' are going to help women struggling with body dysmorphia," he listed out the statistics to me perfectly.
"Yeah, I never knew you followed news about my company. I mean New York fashion week was when all our troubles began," I said, completely befuddled.
"I know. but it's hard not to admit that you single-handedly accomplished so much in such a short time! Even Victoria can't deny that you are the one that spins the straw to gold. Even though she thinks the charity part is just a waste of resources. I remember when you came down for Christmas. You had partnered with some NGO to send dresses from Baby Brooke to orphanages and also blankets and warm clothes to shelters and Victoria was livid. I had to keep reminding the kids that we do not condone this kind of language towards our parents or anyone, despite you screaming it to her," Lucas laughed.
"Yeah," I said sheepishly. "But I did it anyway. I mean, I have way more money than all of us can care for and the futures of our children and grandchildren and great-grandchildren are secured. We live such comfortable lives (although lonely and miserable lives I thought to myself) and people are struggling so much. We can make such a difference with tiny acts. I plan on doing it every year. But speaking of Victoria, I asked her to handle stuff at the company till I can go back. Millie can stop sulking."
"Do you think that is a good idea?" he asked me.
"No, but I don't have a choice and she is VP. She is good at her job. The designs for the next line are ready and in the safe at my office. That is the biggest hurdle. The small stuff like the magazine and cosmetics, she can deal with. With the Size Zero campaign running so well, she can't even get her way with the models and C/B prides in their cruelty-free products and CSR initiatives. So she can't really wreak much havoc," I smiled. "We are a very transparent company. I made sure of it."
"I still cant believe you let her in after your parents disowned you and stranded you in London!" he said bitterly.
"I haven't. This what I have with her is just business. She is just very good at her job. She is nothing but an employee," I lied.
"Drop the facade, Brooke, it's me. I can catch you lying with my eyes closed," he said, instantly catching me.
"Well, what good is the truth gonna do?" I said dejectedly.
"I am proud of your work and all that you have accomplished, Brooke," he said to me, feeling the need to tell me just how proud he was, knowing that I was never going to be able to hear that from my parents, the two people I cared to hear it from.
I let out a yawn and laughed hoping he didn't think our conversation was putting me out, "Sorry."
"Why don't we go to bed, I have a couch calling my name," He looked miserable to go there though.
"Luke, just sleep here. I mean we are both zombies otherwise. You hate it and I hate it and then the kids find us that way at the hospital. I know I am not going to be able to sleep a wink once you walk out of that door and I am going to play the kids' images in the hospital over and over until I feel sick. Let's just stick to the truce until the kids are back home, then we can kick you to the couch. We can be adults about this, right?" I said way too honestly, it scared me what I had just said. How could I even think this!
"Yeah, I guess but only if you're really okay with it. One word of discomfort and I go back, okay? Also, no telling anyone, especially Lindsay," he said as he took my empty cocoa mug to rinse off.
"Can I please order a new mattress for your room though? You picked one that is so hard!" By now I was definitely sleep-talking.
"Is that why you were snoring so loudly last to last night when we slept there?" he teased.
"Lucas Scott! I do not snore!" I yelled while giggling.
"Like a gorilla! But, get what you want, Brooke," he said to me.
"Uhh, actually it's okay. This is temporary anyway. It would hurt if you had to burn down another perfectly good mattress after I left because it smelled like me." I mumbled in a sleepy haze.
"Let's just sleep. The doctor said that their friends can come and visit them tomorrow so I texted Madison and Zack's parents. The entire basketball and cheerleading team are coming," he informed me.
"That's nice. Sophia will love being with all of them. All we can do is hope for Jamie!" My face scrunched again for my son.
"Hey hey, he is the toughest guy. We both know it. He is just resting more to heal faster! You know how that kid loves being first," he put his hand on my arm reassuringly.
"Yeah, just like his dad! You and Haley were so competitive in school and it was Nathan and you in basketball," I mumbled, resting my head against the window.
"Just like his parents. It's no easy feat being the President of a multi-million dollar company at 22!" he appraised.
"I got lucky," I said, averting my gaze to the floor.
"Is that what you really think?" he asked me. "Brooke, you have undeniable talent. It's nothing but obvious to me that the company grew so fast."
"Thanks, Luke," I smiled before falling asleep by the window.
He walked out rinsed the mugs and then lifted me up to take me to bed. We first faced opposite sides of each other. Then I just heaved a large sigh and curled my tiny frame into his side. His hands instantly circled around me pulling me closer to him. I breathed his scent, now directly in contact with his skin. It felt so familiar. It felt like home. He absent-mindedly began playing with my hair, it was my weakness. I knew that it would instantly lull me into a deep sleep.
When I first began working a lot, I felt guilty that I was ignoring Luke too much. Then my insecurities got the better of me and I figured he would find what I wasn't giving him, somewhere else. So even though I had no energy in my body, I would try to seduce him. I would put on some sexy lingerie and get him to bed with me. He would play along, kiss my lips heatedly and lay me on the bed. He'd continue kissing me slowly, almost like he was teasing me but in reality, he would just be relaxing me. While doing that, he would start playing with my hair, only he knew how it worked and that it was comforting and not sexy. Five minutes in, I would be out like a light, feeling guilty the next morning. Today was no different, I was in deep sleep within moments of him doing that.
— — –
LUCAS' POV
I stared at the girl sleeping in my arms. I saw her toned body, how my shirt, my shirt in the literal sense that she custom-designed only keeping me in mind clung to her. She was a real Beauty in that shirt. It pooled down and yet, it fit her just the right way. She knew how to make a shirt three times her size look sexy on her.
I saw her chest rise and fall rhythmically. She was in deep sleep. I moved my hands across her toned milky white legs which were bare. She had grown thinner compared to the last time I saw her.
My gaze fixated on her lips next. God, I felt the urge to just touch her lips with mine and feel that cherry redness. Yet, I knew that I lacked the authority over them and settled for a forehead kiss instead.
I wanted to tell her that I was so proud of her and that I was so glad that she was here with me because I would have died if I had to deal with it alone. I would not have been able to. However, I couldn't tell her anything.
I wrapped my arms around her pulling her closer, not that it was even possible. Our skins were basically welded together. I breathed in her scent. She smelled like cherry blossoms now as opposed to the vanilla she used in high school. It was different, but still very her.
God, it killed me to be this close to her and not have my way with her. I wanted to hold her forever. Maybe I could just pretend for the night. I watched her for a while, enjoying her calm face and rhythmic breathing. I was cherishing, reminiscing and memorising everything, unsure when I would get this again.
Brooke scrunched up her nose for a moment before itching it and then burying her head deeper in my chest again, dropping her foot on top of mine. She seemed to smile as she was comforted by my arms around her. I rubbed her back and watched her for the night. My pretty girl, my girl.
