"Brooke! This spread looks amazing," Haley commented as she and her family walked into the dining room where I had placed enough food to feed an army. It was time for the family dinner, the dinner in which Lucas and I were going to announce that we were back together again to the people who knew everything that had gone down. All the ugly grusome details, who had at some point been forced to pick sides and had failed to do so, who had to live out the ugly bitter days with us and who could definitely tell us that were we even thinking when we made such a decision to get back together when time had repeatedly told us we were not meant to be and whether history had taught us anything.
Yet, I plastered a smile on my face while I rubbed my palms on the fabric of my dress trying to wipe the sweat away. Yet, they just would not stop sweating! I was so anxious and nervous. I turned my head to look at Lucas who was talking to a very pregnant Peyton lounging in a recliner in the corner. He caught my gaze through the corner of his eye and looked at me, giving me a reassuring smile, thawing my fears a tiny smidge.
"Yeah, it doesn't taste as good as yours though," I said to Haley, directing my attention back at her and giving her and Nathan a hug each. "Hi my little Munchkins, I have a very important task for you today! I am really confused about what to serve for dessert. We have cake and pie and some good old fashioned ice-cream, or we can have pie with ice-cream! Why don't you go to the kitchen and pick!"
"We want it all Aunt Brooke, but can't hurt to see!" Jude said before running off, his siter right at his toes.
"Only seeing, no licking! Brooke, you better be the one that takes then to the dentist afterwards," Haley said to me, rolling her eyes.
"I honestly don't think I would mind. My kids are just so sassy at this point. I'm just grateful that they aren't looking into emancipation laws. I miss them at this age so much! They are so sweet and innocent and cute and they actually want you and need you! Mine think I am an embarrassment, like me, Brooke Davis is an embarrassment!" I said with a mopey look on my face.
"Haley, Brooke is really rich. Can we sell her ours?" Nathan joked, making Haley and I both cackle, our eyes wide with surprise. With a surprised shake of my head, we all entered the living room.
"Okay, I can't keep this charade anymore. Everyone is here. Let's get this over with, please," I begged Lucas, bouncing on the heels of my feet. I bit my lip in nervousness making him chuckle.
"Oh Brooke, nervousness is so cute on you," he whispered back, taking a curl that had fallen out of place and covered my eyes and tucking it behind my ear.
"Okay guys! I need to - umm, we need to let you guys know something," I stuttered. This made Lucas take my hand in his and curl his fingers through mine. I looked at him from the corner of my eyes and he gave me a reassuring smile, making be breathe a little deeper. Gosh, he could really calm me down. "Umm, yeah, we wanted to let you all know that Lucas and I are together again," I said it, my voice was so hoarse with the nervousness but I lifted our linked hands up in the air for them to look and get it. "Now, I know the past -" I began to say but was instantly cut off.
"Cough up, Haley!" Nathan said, letting out a devilish laugh. "You too Peyton!"
"Wait, what? What is happening?" I asked, looking at Haley give Nathan evil glares, Peyton roll her eyes and Jake letting out fits of laughter. They fished for hundred dollar bills out of their purses and hand them over to him begrudgingly.
"What just happened?" I asked still not getting any of it. I turned towards Lucas who just had an amused expression on his face.
"We had bets on how long it would take for the two of you to get back together again. Peyton said as soon as we knew that you were going to stay here for the long haul, I bet when the kids came home and well, Nathan bet now. Thanks alot you two! What took you this long!" Haley explained, throwing us a dirty look.
"Seriously! Going by High School math, by this point Brooke should have been pregnant with baby number 3, or 4 considering how you love to make them two at a time," Peyton commented. I let out a high pitched squal and my cheeks turned so red, they looked like tomatoes.
"Guys!" Lucas said, looking at my face. "Not cool!"
"Yeah, but we are happy for you both! It was about time! And I am not just saying this because I won the bet," Nathan laughed. "Come here Penny!" he said, before walking up to me and giving me a bear hug. "If my jerk of a brother harrasses you again, I will kick his ass," he said, making me laugh as he kissed my hair.
"Yeah, this does make us very very happy," Haley said, giving Lucas a hug, her eyes searing into mine with genuine happiness.
"We love all of you so very much," I said, grateful to have all my friends with me. "Now let's go eat!"
"So B, are you moving here or…" Peyton asked.
"Uhh, I am leaning towards it. Unfortunately I still have to talk to the Board and figure work so that decision is on hold," I said sullenly.
"Okay, so when did this happen?" she asked, ching to a better topic.
"The day of the fashion show, when Lucas saved me from the car wreck. But, if we are talking about the feelings, I don't think I ever stopped loving him and spending all that time together going through that big scary thing, I guess we both just realised that life is too short to be bitter and there is no way that I can do it without him and I don't want to do it without him," I said, my eyes glued to his.
Lucas leaned close to me and caught my lips with his, giving me such a good kiss that I felt it all the way to my toes. I could hear my friends whistle and hoot while my kids pretended to gag and Haley's kids giggled. Yet, all I found myself doing was wrapping my arms around my guy and deepening it. I just loved him and I was so so grateful to have him.
Once we broke the kiss, a goofy grin plastered across our faces as we looked guiltily at our chosen family. "We love both of you like this, happy and together, even if it means PDA," Peyton smirked at us. The rest of the night flew by as we had drinks and made plans. We told them about the remodel and the boys agreed to help us with the move.
The next day Orie Prince came over to see the property and the adjoining plot which had gone through and was officially ours. "I'm loving what I am seeing!" He said to us. "Brooke, I got to say, you have a natural eye for design. I love your vision, it makes my job so easy. And kids, I love your plans! Throw them all at me, designing homes is so fun, let's see what all we can integrate."
"Thanks, so what do you suggest?" I asked once we were back inside in the living room. I saw him bring out his iPad and quickly begin to bake a rough sketch.
"Okay, since this is going to be the big family house, I suggest we divide it up in wings. We enter in the foyer with a grand staircase. Behind it will be our living room, cozy yet chic. On the left is your kitchen and breakfast nook and both the livin room and kitchen go double door down to the formal dining room in this corner. We do french doors leading to the patio, long windows, lots of light. On the right, the kids get this whole area ro be their game room, add a closet here and a bathroom in this space. Now upstairs, the left wing is the family wing. We have the Master in this corner and these two doors across can be James and Sophia's bedrooms. I will give you two more rooms, one on each side in case you want to increase your flock, but for now they can be your typical guest rooms. Feel free to call me to design them for the future," he said with a wink. "Of course, there will be bathrooms and closets and things, I'm just giving a very generalised layout at the moment. The twins can share a balcony, connecting both rooms if they like and you get your private terrace. We'll add some outdoor furniture, it will be a great place to barbecue and things. We can add a table up there for outdoor events. This part will come just above the formal dining room. The door just besides the Master will connect to the terrace as well so guests have easy access without entering your bedroom. We'll put in an elevator in the centre, just behind the grand stairs so anyone old can come up and you can carry trays of food up effortlessly. Now on the right, we get 3 guest rooms and both of your offices. I know it is right above the games room, so I will be soundproofing all 3 rooms, the games and your offices so everyone can go about their activities without a hitch. As the twins requested, the basement turns into a home theatre and the attic for storage. Outside, we'll renovate your current backyard, but I'm keeping the placement of the pool and things the the house will shift to the centre of the two lots, we will build a small pathway to the pool on the left. The right will have your cottage, exactly as you told us girl. A classic mid-century cottage house with three bedrooms, three baths, an open living and dining room, a kitchen and a formal dining room. Your parents are going to absolutely want to move in there full time. We can discuss landscaping the whole area later, once we actually finalise the plan. So, do you like it?"
"Like! Dude, we love it!" Sophia answered for us.
"Yeah, this is awesome. Just please can we have a full basketball court outside? We currently have a half court. The yard is so big now," Jamie pleaded.
"Yeah, you and your dad definitely should get one," I smiled, happy to see them so excited. "You, like always have really outdone yourself! We love it! Thanks buddy."
He gave me a grateful smile, "I'm so glad that you love it. I will draw up the blueprints and send them to you. Once we finalise those, we can begin the work!"
"Hey Orie, can I put in a request too?" Lucas asked shyly.
"Of course man. Whatever you want! You want your own man cave? I can convert the space behind the garage into a den for you to chill and watch games with the boys, a mini fridge for your beers, maybe a personal pool or foosball table," he ideated.
"As tempting as that does sound, can we just paint the main door of this house red?" he asked, scratching his head, feeling like a fish out of water. Yet, my heart melted immediately. "I fell in love with the pretty girl behind the red door. The world sees her as Brooke Davis, the insanely talented and supremely successful fashion designer with the beauty of a Goddess. Yet, to me, she will always be the girl behind the red door who wears her heart on her sleeve."
"I love the love the two of you share. Of course we can paint the door red in colour," he smiled.
"Great! Also, we would love to take you out for dinner tonight as a thank you. You are here tonight anyway as the Elle before video gets shot tomorrow afternoon," I coaxed him after I flicked the tears out of my eyes.
"I would love that, thank you," he answered gratefully before leaving.
Dinner was a sweet affair, we went to a fancy place and had a couple of drinks. The next day was a welcome to the circus life, my family! Millie was here at the crack of dawn with the cleaning crew. The house had close to 50 people working on making it look like something out of a magazine, although we were going to literally break it down. The kids had could not concentrate on school, so they drove off to Nathan and Haleys to work from their place. Lucas just watched with his face scrunched up and arms folded. I asked him whether he was okay with it all and he said yes, but I was still worried that I was putting too much on him too quickly. Soon, the house looked more like a set with lights placed strategically and without a pin out of place. I was whipped to my room with a hairstylist and makeup artist. I had picked a royal blue Clothes over Bro's dress that hit mid thigh and flaunted all my curves. My hair was styled into a messy bun and we went for a sweet natural look for my makeup. Styling it with some silver heels and platinum and diamond earrings, I was ready.
"Woah," Lucas said when he saw me step out of the room. Once that room was cleared for filming as well and we had ensured that there were much to my dismay, no pictures of Lucas, we began filming. Many people often told me that if I wasn't such a phenomenal designer, I could definitely make my money acting. The camera loved me and I was a natural, knowing how to smirk playfully, when to showcase my dimples and how to reel them all in. We did a couple of takes, going through each room. I stated my dilemma with the lack of rooms to house guests and Orie chirped about the new plan we had. A drone shot the adjacent plot and the massive property we had amassed, connecting the two lands. It took a while with the lighting and sound sticks, but we sure as hell got it done by evening.
"Thanks Mills, I would be hopeless without you. Now please tell me I still get you to help me move out. Victoria does not get to steal you. Tell her to use Calliope," I said, pouting my lips.
She let out a giggle before saying, "Relax Brooke. I am here for as long as you need me. I have made myself very clear to Victoria that I work for you and not her so I will be where you need me to be, not where she wants me to be. I already have the movers and packers crew on standby. We will get you packed and moved in two days time. They will also help assemble things in the Davis House."
"I'd be a flop show without you Mills. Have I promoted you recently?" I asked, in awe of her.
"Yes Brooke. Only two months ago!" she laughed before getting the crew packed and out of our house.
Lucas sighed and sat on the couch, deliberately moving the pillows to the messy way they usually we scattered on the couch. I went ahead to get my feet out of the silver stilettos I had on and sat besides him, propping my feet up on the coffee table. Lucas turned on a football game on the television while sliding his arms around me, getting me to lean my body against his. I was on my phone, texting the kids.
"The kiddos are going to eat dinner at Nathan and Haleys. Hales is asking whether she should send dinner for us. It's Thai curry and rice. I told them that we just got done with the shoot. We can just call for a pizza if you don't want to wait," I asked him.
"Yeah, whatever sounds good," he said to me, his voice a little distant like he was in his own thoughts. "Okay cool," I said, texting Haley not to send food. She promised to send dessert anyway and then I called the pizza place and ordered an extra cheesy one with a tone of jalapenos, just how Lucas liked it. He, however, neither paid attention to me or the game playing.
"Lucas, what's wrong?" I asked, looking at him with worry. "I know it isn't fair, that you don't get to be a part of the shoots and well all traces of you are wiped out of your own house. It must feel awful and so demeaning and I'm really sorry about it, but I don't know what to do. I am still not ready for the world to have an input about this, about us. I don't want to be reduced to clickbait fodder. People can be really really rude and treat people who live in the public eye, people they don't even know like trash, often in front of us, thinking they are entitled to because, I don't know we have fame and money. It's horrifying and really hurtful sometimes. I usually never cared because it never included whom I care about, but now it does. Now, I am scared," I began rambling. "Yet, if you want, we can come out to the public. I am never leaving you ever again, so the world can go screw themselves." I quickly captured his soft lips with mine, wanting him to know that my feelings were real. I wanted to make him happy, I wanted to give him whatever he wanted.
We got lost in the kiss for a moment, both our eyes firmly shut as I placed my hands to cup his cheeks. Kissing him was so electric, it was insane just how good the simple act of kissing felt. Lucas wrapped his arms around me, holding my waist and guiding my body such that I was laying on top of him. I wrapped my arms around his neck and let him deepen it, moaning softly into his mouth, enjoying the feel of his soft lips sucking mine making me go breathless. His hands laced up and down the sides of my body, before going up my dress and teasing the skin next to my panties.
"Oh God, Lucas!" I found myself saying, feeling so many tingles as his fingers made my skin light on fire. He let out a gentle growl, playing with the fabric, inching towards putting his hands inside. I moaned at the teasing, rubbing myself on him, needing to feel more, needing to feel it all.
His fingers began to dance on the outside of the fabric, cupping my centre. I whimpered at his touch, feeling sparks shoot up and down my spine.
"Lucas, please! Please stop teasing!" I begged, unable to play it cool when he was making me feel so many things. He gently bit on my lips, before trailing his hands inside and inching closer and closer to my clit. He took his other hand to grab my waist and quickly flipped us over so that I was now on the bottom. He towered over me, ready to stroke me. God, I thought I would be able to come just with one stroke, I was that deep in knots. Just then, we heard the sound of the doorbell, making us stop dead in our tracks. I pushed him off of me using so much force that he landed on the floor with a thud.
"Oh God! I am sorry! I am so sorry! Just, what if it is the kids!" I exclaimed, going towards the door and checking my appearance in the mirror by the door. I looked back at the emotionally wounded expression on Luke's face before opening the door. Dammit it! It was the pizza delivery guy!
I pressed my fingers against my temple, cursing my own self for ordering the bloody thing before asking him for the bill. Fishing some money from the drawer of the table by the door, I paid him what was probably triple the amount, grabbed the box from his hand and shut the door behind.
"Sorry!" I said to him guiltily, placing the pizza box on the coffee table. "Luke, I am really sorry. Yet, it was quite funny!" I said, before laughing.
"Why can't we have any privacy in our own bloody house?" he grumbled. "The moment is gone right?"
"Yeah," I said, apologetically. "Wanna eat?" He nodded his head as I took the box and placed it in between us, the football match still playing softly in the background.
"Brooke, this is what I wanted to tell you, when you were rambling about us going public. Right before, you know, what we were about to do on this couch. It is not what you think, it is exactly the opposite. I saw you working today, commanding an entire shoot, your presence, the way you just work with the cameras and you are this badass president, owner, self-made billionaire. You are in the A-league and I- I am just Lucas. You deserve so much, you can get so much. I am so not good enough for you. I am so afraid that I am going to hold you back, and like last time, you will resent me for it and leave me alone, leave us again. Brooke, I cannot have you leave again. My heart cannot take it," he confessed, making my eyes wet instantly.
"Babe, I am so so sorry about last time," I said, getting on my knees in front of him and clutching his hands in mine. I searched his eyes to see whether he was following my words. They reflected hurt and fear, of the deep impact I had left with my actions the last time. Acts that I was bound to regret all my life and try to make up for years to come. "I promise you, I will never ever leave you again. I mean it with my whole heart." With that I moved his fingers to where my heart rested. "I messed up real bad in the past," I squeaked, heavy tears threatening to spill down. "I realised a long time ago just how badly I messed up and just how deep my regrets were. Yet, by then it was too late. Lindsey and everything, I really did not expect getting a second chance. I had said to myself that I had made my bed of thorns and had no choice but to lay and get buried in it. Yet, here we are. Please, forgive me."
"I love you so much baby girl!" he said, pulling me up and kissing my pulse point.
"Hey guys, Aunt Haley sent chocolate caramel brownies and she sent Thai curry and rice too," Jamie announced as we heard the door click shut behind them. This time Lucas let me go and I fell to the floor with a thud!
"Ow," I cursed, getting up and sitting on the sofa, pretending to eat pizza and watch the game as they walked in. God, we were cursed! They looked at us quizzically before depositing the containers and plopping besides us on the couch to steal some pizza.
"Didn't you guys just eat?" I asked, raising an eyebrow as Jamie literally wedged himself between Lucas and I and put the pizza box in his lap, his eyes never leaving the TV screen.
"Yeah, but it was all healthy. I need some grease and cheese," he replied once he had swallowed the large bite he was chewing on. I simply rolled my eyes at them. I really needed to figure out how to get some alone time with Lucas or I would drive myself crazy!
Before we knew it, it was Friday, the day of the basketball game. We were going to do the game with the kids and spend the weekend packing, moving and setting up residence in the Davis house for the next few months. Karen and Lilly were going to fly down on Tuesday with Andy coming a couple of weeks later. To say the least, things were slightly hectic, but nothing that we could not manage.
"Kids, are you ready?" I called from downstairs once it was time for us to leave. We all knew it was a big deal, returning to the trigger site, yet all of us were pretending as if it was a regular Friday night.
"Mom, is it okay if I stay back? I really don't feel like coming," Sophia asked, ducking her head from the top of the stairs.
"Oh sure honey. Will you be alright on your own?" I asked, worried about my little one.
"Yeah, I will be fine," she said quickly and zoomed back into her room.
"Jaim, you sure you want to go? Your sister is out," I asked him as he casually walked out in a baseball tshirt with his hands in his jeans pockets. His dirty blonde hair was disheveled and for a split second, I really thought it was teenage Lucas that I was looking at.
"Yeah, let's go," he said nonchalantly. Jamie wanted to drive and he and Lucas were geeking out about basketball statistics that made no sense to me, so I comfortably sat in the backseat, going through Peyton, Haley and my text chain for updates about their day.
We made it to the school in record time. Yet, when he parked the car, only Lucas and I stepped out.
"Jaim, you okay baby?" I asked him, kocking on his window when close to a minute had passed. I peered inside to find him clutching tightly to the steering wheel and panting. He was most definitely having a panic attack!
"Jamie!" I screamed, opening the door to find him hyperventilating. His eyes were fixed to the spot on campus where the class where he was shot was.
"Jaim, Jaim! Focus, focus on me! Just look at me," I said, trying to divert his attention. Yet, his eyes were glued. "Jamie, look at me, please!" I begged, cupping his face and getting his eyes to stare into mine. "Let's breathe together. We can count. Inhale… one two three, hold… one, two, three, exhale… one two three." I directed. We did 6 more rounds of those and that seemed to calm him down.
Unfortunately, as soon as that happened, he also broke down, crying into Lucas and my shoulders. "II wanted to be strong, strong as the two of you. Both of you had to deal with so much with Dan and neither one of you is this weak. Why can't I be that strong?"
"Jamie! You are strong, son. You literally put yourself in front of a gun and took a bullet because you thought that would protect your sister and save her. I literally don't know a stronger man!" Lucas said, his voice full of emotion and pain for what our child was going through.
Jamie cried louder, burying his head in Lucas' lap. "I thought that I could do it. That I got past it. Yet, being here is just, I can hear it, all the screaming, I can see the blood soaked floor, I can hear him cackle before he was brought down. I will be able to go to school again, right?" he asked.
"Of course you will. You will get over this, we promise you and we will be there with you every step of the way. Now, how about we book you an appointment with your therapist for tomorrow?" Lucas asked, brushing his hands through Jamie's hair.
"Yeah, okay," he answered timidly.
We quickly got Jamie into the backseat and Lucas slid inside with him. I got in the front and drove my family back home.
"Hey dad, can the two of us play basketball for a bit?" he asked, once I parked the car in the garage.
"Sure bud, you go get the ball. I will have a drink and meet you out," Lucas said, happy that Jamie was not letting his anxiety get the better of him. Lucas and I walked inside as Jamie walked around to the backyard.
"I'll just go check on Sophia, let her know that we are home," I informed Lucas, putting the keys in place. He was already walking towards the kitchen to grab a glass of water.
"Hey Soph," I said, knocking on her door and opening it. However, I was not ready for what greeted me on the other side of the door. Hell, nothing could ever get me ready for that. There was my child, my little young naive teenage daughter, topless and only in her bra with her skirt hiked up and legs tangled as she kissed her boyfriend who was equally shirtless. They were so into their own world of kissing that neither of them registered me at the door.
"SOPHIA ELIZABETH SCOTT!" I yelled loudly, my face turning red with anger. The two of them broke their make out fest and looked at me, stopping dead in their tracks like a deer caught in the headlights. A million emotions passed by them… fear, anger, embarrassment, disgust, all of which I was feeling too.
Zack seemd to be the first to recover as he grabbed his shirt and literally bolted out of the door past me and past a confused Lucas who was running up the stairs having heard me scream.
"Brooke, what's wrong?" he asked, before seeing the sight in front of him and putting two and two together. Sophia was literally crying as she tried to locate her shirt through her misty eyes.
"Oh no! Oh no! This did not just happen! No! I am going to kill that boy!" Lucas began screaming. I looked towards Sophia and she was getting more scared each second. I quickly shut her door, giving her space to get herself decent and control her emotions. Next, I grabbed Lucas' hand and dragged him to our bedroom.
"Lucas," I said, looking at him as he began to freak out in front of my eyes.
'No! I am going to kill that boy! How dare he take advantage of her! He is never allowed to lay eyes on her ever again! She is not allowed to date that jerk. Sophia is never leaving the house!" he raged, pacing around the room. I continued to lean against the console table in our room crossing my arms at my chest, letting Lucas freak out for the both of us.
"Why are you not freaking out? Why are we here? I want to beat that boy's ass and never let Sophia out of my sight, my little baby girl!" he grumbled, walking towards the door as I pressed my temples with worry.
"Lucas, we cannot do that. You know that. Our daughter is already freaking out about this. She was probably already scared and and we don't know if this was her first or whether this has happened before. I don't know anything yet and I don't even know how to approach it! I had nannies to explain this to me and they did not," I said, raising my arms up, feeling a bit of his helplessness.
"Lucas, we need to talk to her. Have a serious conversation, get to the bottom of this, ensure that she is being safe, that she has everything she needs and I don't know, warn her," I said, getting so confused and so emotional. I had never had the sex talk with my parents. I did not know what I was doing here any more than what Sophia thought she was doing perhaps.
"She has to get punished Brooke!" Lucas responded to my approach, his eyes wide and red with fury. "She violated all our rules and she, a child literally - you know what, I am just going to take her door down. I am going to get my toolkit and get her door off its hinges."
"Lucas, you better stop. This is not the way to deal with this. We need to have a conversation with her, treat her like an adult with feelings," I said, trying to avoind getting strayed towards Lucas' ideas although it was really really hard. A part of me wanted to slap my child and another wanted to coddle her and never let her out of my embrace.
"Treat her like an adult? She is a child! She is literally sixteen!" he fumed.
"Lucas, you know that this is going to end badly if we take this route. We were both having sex at sixteen, hell I was doing it every night with random older men," I said, shuddering, feeling disgust shoot up and down my whole body as I tried to shake away the not so proud moments of my life. "Now look, this is where we are. We need to approach this topic, understand where her head is at and then advise her accordingly. That is the only way to get our child to not hate us, not retaliate and try something dumber and ensure that if this is what is actually going to happen, she is safe and aware about the repurcussions. I can do this alone, but I'd rather have you by my side. Now, before we get in there, I need to know that you are on the same page as me and you agree not to fly off the lid," I warned him.
"Alright," he said begrudgingly as we made our way to Sophia's door. Giving it a firm knock, I called out, "Sophia, can we come in? Are you decent?"
"Yeah," came the sniffled reply.
We walked in to find her in her fuzzy pyjamas curled on her bed underneath a mountain of pillows and blankets. She looked so much of a child in that moment, I found it hard to believe that she was capable of, well, adult things.
"Soph, we need to talk about what just happened, but before that the two of us promise you that this is a space of no judgement. We just want to have an honest conversation with you. We are going to discuss this frankly and openly and we expect honest answers out of you. We are not going to yell or scream, but we have to discuss this. Do you understand?" I asked and she nodded her head in return, still not looking up to face us.
"Okay, sweetie, have you and Zack, uh, done it before?" I asked, feeling my mouth go dry and dreading receiving an answer I was fearful to hear. She shook her head no making both Lucas and I relax just a little bit, a very tiny smidge.
"Okay, did you and Zack plan to go all the way right now? Did you plan this night at all? Were you protected? Are you on the pill? Did he have condoms? Do you have them?" I asked and this instantly made the young girl cry. Gosh, she was so not ready for sex.
"Sophia! If you cannot answer me then how- what makes you think you are ready for sex?" I riled off a little, scaring the already terrified teen. This part of it was frankly making me a little mad. She was so smart and sensible usually!
"It wasn't planned. Zack was bummed that his concussion disallowed him from the game today. He asked if he could come over and we could be together and so I cancelled on coming to the game. I- I was excited at the prospect of being alone with him in the house but I really didn't plan on anything beyond. But, things happened so fast and we weren't thinking…" she tried to explain.
"Sophia! You cannot be so careless about this. Are you on any form of birth control?" I asked her and she shook her head no. I wanted to shake her, nay rattle her until her brain cells began functioning again.
"You do know what unprotected sex leads to right? Pregnancy. Do you want to be us? Do you want to be teenage parents? Do you want to be a high school drop out and kiss college goodbye because you are too busy changing diapers? Soph, we love you and your brother with all of our hearts, but do you think either of us wanted children at sixteen? Absolutely not! Neither of us were ready. Do you have any idea what it was like for me, getting pregnant at 16? I was in London when I found out. The school informed my parents about it and they only told them to 'take care of it'," I said using air quotes. "When I refused to get an abortion, they cut me off, the boarding school sacked me and I was stranded. Nathan, Haley and Peyton pooled their funds to get me back to the states. Your dad and I were in a messed up state. We were heartbroken, hurt, afraid, angry and most of all terrified out of our wits. We could barely and I mean it literally barely take care of ourselves and we were suddenly going to be responsible to keep 2 lives alive! No pressure, right? Plus, neither of us had any money! You have any idea how much babies cost? I had to drop out of school, I took a job at this shit crab shack which gave me crummy pay. I didn't have a car, I was living with Peyton, walking to work. Lucas began working extra shifts at Keith's Auto Shop. I was pregnant and on my feet all day until I fainted because the place was infested with black mould! Then I worked at your Grandma Karen's diner until complications had me bedridden. I almost lost the two of you in the pregnacy, I almost died in it myself. I was alone for most part of it and scared for all of it. I thought it was the end of my career, the end of dreams for college and not just for me, for Lucas too. Do you want that life? And don't even get me started on the STDs. You literally had no protection!"
"But both you and dad were active at 16," she tried to reason.
"Yes, we were. Soph, your dad and I were always safe. I was always on the pill, we repeatedly checked for STDs and did everything to be safe. Yet, we got pregnant. I love you so much, but no, I did not want to be a mother at 16. I wanted to have the luxury to be a child myself. Do you want to be a 16 year old mom? Plus, Lucas and I were sure that we wanted it, wanted to have sex." I said, cringing a little because that felt a little like a lie. 16 year old Lucas and Brooke shared such a different dynamic due to our family issues. Sex back then was not about love or intimacy, it had more to do with not feeling broken or abandoned or in Lucas' version, being the one in control. Our first time was all about that, Lucas needing a heavy outlet for the rage he carried for his dad. I know, it sounds so wrong, so warped and messed up, yet for us, it was reality, the only one we knew and understood and we tried our best to make sense of it. He trusted me to take the pounding, I trusted him to show up and slowly, that turned to love and care and real comfort and belongingness. Yet, I was never going to tell my daughter about any of that. She did not need to see the skeletons in my closet, especially the naked ones.
"I'm sorry!" she wept.
"Soph, have you and Zack talked about this? Discussed this? Shared your fears or confusions? I do not want you to have physical intimacy without emotional intimacy," I asked her and she gave me a pleading look to stop my questions. Yet, I knew that I had to be strong and get through this. Lucas looked as if he was about to throw up. He was yet to put in his two cents, something which he was choosing to avoid.
"Soph, we need to know," I said, this time with more motherly coaxing.
"We have joked about it, like traipsed around the subject, but nothing like how you make it sound about discussing fears and things," she whispered, fiddling with her fingers as if they were the most amusing thing on the planet.
"Do you have any fears? DO you want to discuss them with us?" I asked, brushing my hand through her hair.
"Not right now, please not now," she begged.
"Alright, whenever you are ready, our door is open. We promise to be honest about it and give you the respect of a mature adult, provided you behave like a mature adult. Also, what bases have you covered already? I mean, you two haven't done the deed, but oral and things. Where is your head on, about these things?" I asked, hating this as much as she was. The colour literally drained from Lucas' face as he clutched the rod of Sophia's bed with so much strength, his knuckles were white and I would not have been surprised if he managed to yank a bit of the wood off.
"No, he felt me over today. We crossed to second base, but that is it. I promise you. He hasn't ever seen me, I don't do nudes or anything and no, I am not ready. I am really not ready. This all sounds so scary," she said, flinging herself in my lap and crying away. Her head was buried deep as my dress got soaked with snot and tears. I looked at Lucas, with a wobbly smile as I rubbed my child's back.
Once her sniffles quieted down, I got her to sit up and lean her body on mine as I wiped her face. "Baby girl, you are smart and sensible with a beautiful brain up your head. You have the power of discernment. You know what is right for you and what is not. You cannot just get carried away. Consent is everything. I have to repeat this, consent is everything. If you don't want to do something or you don't feel comfortable with something, just say no. Walk out of there, there is nothing wrong in it and you have nothing to be ashamed about of it. Nobody is allowed to force you into something you are not ready for and if you want it, I mean really really want it and feel ready for it, you have to be safe. This is not an choice. This is a mandatory requirement. You cannot have unprotected sex or I swear to God, I will smack you so hard, you won't be able to walk for days. Am I understood? Now, if you want, we could go to my gynac tomorrow and get you on birth control."
"No, I don't think I am ready yet," she said, her eyes big and watery, yet honest.
"Okay, but you promise us. That if that feeling changes, and if you feel ready to take that step, you will come to us and we will get you on protection. Meanwhile, we are also going to keep some condoms in your bathroom. Now do not get me wrong, this is our house, we make the rules. We still have a strict no boys in the bedroom rule. You are not to use them but, just in case, rather than a big slip up, we are going to be cautious. The rules remain the same, no boys in the bedroom, no boy alone in the house with you ever under any circumstance.
Now, since a lot of the rules were broken, time for punishment. Lucas, feel free to add your input to this part. One week for lying to us about your intentions, another for sneaking a boy in, another for breaking the boy in the bedroom rule, a fourth for literally being with him alone in the house, a fifth and sixth because this one tops the charts, for being so so bloody stupid and unsafe and careless! I really hope that this lesson gets burned in your brain for the rest of your life. You do school and home, no hanging out, definitely no dates or texting with your boyfriend. Hand over all your electronics, no TV and nothing fun for six weeks. You can read your books, but that is about all that you get." I finished and saw her timidly nod her head. She looked so much like a toddler when she was scared and not being her usual sarcastic self.
"Okay, difficult conversation is over. Phew," I said, pulling her into my arms and giving her a crushing hug. "We love you Sophia, we just want the best life for you, a safe happy life where you get to be a kid for as long as possible. We never got to be kids, we wish we had that luxury so we ensured that you get that. We love you so very much, Princess. You are our favourite." I bopped her nose as I said the last part, making her give a wry smile. It was barely a smile, but it was there.
"Now, why don't you go take a shower. I am sure you are spent from all your emotions. So go shower, get ready for bed, collect all your electronics and come to our bedroom. You are sleeping with us tonight," I said.
I saw the relief wash over my daughter's eyes. I could tell, all she wanted was to snuggle into the arms of the people that felt the safest which were the arms of her parents. The quiver in her bottom lip was enough to indicate it, that the girl was looking for comfort now, yet she was too proud to ask for it. So I did it for her.
I saw her get up and collect her things before closing the door behind her. When we got out of her room, we were greeted by Jamie leaning against the banister. "What happened? I waited for you outside and then came looking for you only to find both of you in Sophia's room with the door locked." His eyes were full of worry.
"Do we need to do this a second time today?" Lucas asked me, feeling panic rise in him again.
I sighed before directing my hands towards Jamie's room and closing the door behind us. Why was this so difficult.
"Okay, so we caught your sister breaking some rules, some major rules. And we just want to go over the groundwork again. One, have you and Madison ever discussed sex and conversed about your fears and things?" I asked, flinching a bit, not having the energy to do it again.
"Yeah, but what does that have to do… wait a minute! What the hell did Zack do? I am going to kill him!" he said, his rage matching Lucas' from not too long ago. Scott men! You love them but cannot tame them.
"Jamie, relax. You are going to do absolutely nothing about this. In fact, you are not allowed to even discuss this with your sister unless she brings it up to you. Your mother and I are handling it," Lucas said, his hand on our son's chest, to keep him from breaking down the door.
"Jaim, do we need to have a conversation about consent and protection with you?" I asked him, worried about it. I was a girl, I knew how Sophie felt, I did not know how to talk to my son in the least.
"Mom, I love Maddie. I would never pressure her into anything. I am respectful of her, I always will be. No Maddie and I have not gone there yet, but we are safe. Maddie is on the pill, just in case and I carry condoms in my wallet. I have for a while now. She is still not ready and well, I don't know, it is weird to talk about these things with you guys. I do not want to do this. But we are fine. We talk about it and we will be safe if and when we ever get there. No offence to either one of you, but I do not want to be a dad at sixteen," he said, making our jobs so much easier.
"That is all we ask. Also, for the sake of reiterating, we are going to remind you of the rules of this house. No girls in your bedroom, No girl and you are allowed to be alone in the house, ever, no sneaking out, no lying and no unsafe sex ever!" I said quickly before leaving the room.
"That went so much better," I said to Lucas, resting my head on his shoulder as we walked into our room. Sophia was already inside there, curled up in the centre with her hippo plushie in her hand. She was nervously biting the nail of her thumb as her electronics lay stacked in front of her. I picked them up and locked them in my drawer. She just eyed me as I paced around the room, tidying it up a bit. I just hated an unkempt room. Luke headed for a shower while I continued to put away folded laundry in the closet and my my jewellery in the correct drawers. She watched but said nothing and I did not address her either, knowing that she needed that silence and space to collect her thoughts without feeling lonely.
Once Lucas was out, I stepped in the shower myself, letting the warm water relax me. I wished I could have stepped into the shower with my boy, God I really wanted to, yet, we were just cursed! I needed to figure out a way to change that, quick. I know we wanted to go slow and it was my idea, but now we were stretching it far too much and I was horny, yet we did not want our first time to be a quickie in the shower or something at night while being afraid that the kids will want to step in.
Once done, I applied some moisturiser and put on a nightgown before exiting the door. Lucas, was in bed already with his lamp on, reading his book. Sophia was watching him silently, yet to say anything about it. I got out and knocked on Jamie's door.
"Hey Squirt, Sophia is with us for tonight and I know that you had a tough time today as well facing school. Do you want to spend the night with us or are you good on your own?" I asked him, making him look up from his phone where I was pretty certain he was on a facetime call with Madison.
"Nah, I'm fine," he said, looking like all he wanted to do was get back on call with his girlfriend.
"Alright, the door is always open if you need us. I will talk to Olivia tomorrow about getting you in for a session. Goodnight little man and goodnight to you to Madison!" I said with a giggle as I shut the door behind me. What, he needed to know that he could get nothing past me!
I checked my phone to ensure that there were no fires to put out at work before getting into the warm covers. I finally looked at my little one who was still clutching at her hippo. Easing her to lie down, I allowed her to snuggle into me as I gently rubbed her back to get her to fall asleep. She was so tired, she really did not put up any fight and within ten minutes, her breath evened out. I patted her bum lovingly as I looked up at Lucas.
"Was this anything like how you imagined the night to go?" I asked him, making him put his book down while I still continued to caress the sleeping child besides me.
"Oh yeah, obviously. How else could the day go? Of course, it needed to have one child have a nervous breakdown and another behave so so stupidly," he said, rolling his eys.
"Yeah, but look at us, dealing with both of those things and bloody damn well!" I whispered, pushing my closed fist towards him to give him a fist bump.
"Yeah, that God you were here. I would not have been able to do that without you. I would have probably messed this one up just like I did with the period talk," he blushed.
"Oh yeah, like the one where you, Mr. Writer, failed with words so miserably that our little girl was convinced that she was dying!" I said laughing at that story. I had to literally leave all my meetings, cancel a huge photo shoot and fly down on a private jet because Sophia was inconsolable and sure that she was dying. It took me a while to convince her that periods were natural and normal and every female, including me got them. I thought Lucas had spoken to her and Lucas assumed I would do it and it was horrid parenting on our part but our daughter was quite unaware about it, except the hushed conversations in school which she did not quite understand, her definition of period being limited to the class schedule like First Period Math and Second Period Biology! I spent all of the next 3 days with her, allowing her to skip school and going through the science of it all and talking about the changes her body was going through and would go through. I knew how she felt because I was unaware about my period too. I got my first period right at the end of the school day and I was wearing a pastel blue cotton dress that day. Anna, Peyton's mom was there to pick her up and she spotted the stains. When she saw just how clueless I was, she asked me to come home with her and taught me how to take care of myself.
"Yeah, parenting is much easier as a team," Lucas said to me getting me off my train of thoughts. "I love you Pretty Girl," he continued, stretching his arms towards me and caressing my cheek before feeling my lips with his fingers.
"Love you too, Broody," I replied, kissing his fingers. His arms moved below to rest on my waist as he scooted closer towards us, wanting to touch me. I let my hand rest on his arm as well before he turned off the night lamp and litting sleep engulf me.
