LUCAS' POV
"No! No, it can't be!" I screamed when I saw the ultrasound on the table. Had Lindsey lost her mind? Why was she doing this? It couldn't be true, it possibly couldn't! I turned to look at Brooke who was covering her face and quietly crying into her palms.
"Wait, it must be the baby of the guy you cheated with. What's his name? Samuel Cross!" I debated. It had to be.
"It's not," Lindsey stated simply without a sign of sympathy in her eyes.
"How can you be sure? I want a paternity test!" I said, although I honestly wanted to scream. Yet, I knew that we were in a public place so we had to keep our emotions in check.
Lindsey looked at me dead in my eyes. Then she put a piece of paper down which made my eyes bulge. It was, in fact, a paternity test and there it said clearly that my DNA was a 100% match with the baby.
"What? But how did you get my DNA?" I argued. I felt every vestige of hope in my break upon reading my name on the test.
"You were my boyfriend Lucas, I have some of your clothes," she answered with a shrug like it was nothing. I heard Brooke sob even harder beside me. Why was this happening? Brooke and I were finally on stable ground and moving forward with our lives.
"I don't believe it. Lindsey, we haven't slept in months! Months! It has been what, way over 6-7 months at this point? You left Brooke and me months ago and you are nowhere around that mark. How can it be mine?" I asked. Brooke looked up on hearing that, maybe she felt that glimmer of hope too.
"We did sleep together Lucas, don't you remember?" Lindsey asked simply. How was she keeping her cool through the conversation we were having? I gave her a befuddled look.
"Lindsey, we barely and I mean barely ever had sex and that too months ago!" I rebutted.
"We had sex recently, Luke. We had a quickie when I was here and the twins were in the hospital," she said coolly as if we were discussing the weather. I was hysterical by then.
"What no! I was fully focused on the kids! Brooke was here, living with us and I would remember Lindsey," I screamed, sure that she was lying.
"Lucas, we had sex and you got me pregnant," she stated simply and went on to sip her iced tea.
"This makes no sense. No, we didn't. It can't be," I denied.
"Well, too bad," she screamed irritably. She was pregnant, alright. "You want a detailed encounter, I will give it to you. It was the night of the school conference. You and Little Miss Invader in Private Affairs left and I said I would book an uber to the hotel. However, I never left. I was in your bed, waiting for you to return but you came back quite late. I was in the bathroom when you returned because when I came out, you were passed out already. Anyway, I woke you up but you were very tired. You started mumbling about how hard it had been at school. So I decided to make you feel better. I undressed you quickly and took you all the way in. Then I licked your balls, you know the way you like it and you say that it always feels so good." I heard some shuffling, Brooke was so uncomfortable where she sat. Her face had turned pale and her eyes were bloodshot red. Yet, she was frozen in her chair. Lindsey was looking at us with a smile. Did she have no empathy?
"You were erect within seconds. You were groaning and moaning and you sat up, but you were still pretty sleepy. I had to do all the work! I sat on your lap and you went all the way in. I rode you for a good fifteen minutes and that's when you came. Unfortunately, when you finished, you came moaning Brooke's name. So I didn't stick around for the after-cuddles and returned to my hotel. Then sometime that night you must have got the call from the hospital and you ran to her." She gave Brooke an ugly glance at that moment. Brooke looked sick as if she was about to throw up that very moment. Her fingers were trembling. Her actions made me look at my own hands and they were quivering too.
Until then I had only heard of out-of-body experiences. Having lived through one, I wouldn't wish that on even Lindsey. I sat there, gaping for a while, trying to process the information she had given me. What was I supposed to do? The baby was innocent! I would not let it suffer but I really didn't know how to make it work. I was just entering the best phase of my relationship with Brooke. We were about to plan a wedding and then plan expanding our family. I could only picture a family with her.
I sneaked a glance at her again. She looked like she had aged 15 years down and was a scared teenager again. Her head was downcast and I could see the battle going on in her mind because I was having one of my own. What was I supposed to do? What was the right answer?
"Give us a moment," I said to Lindsey and grabbed Brooke's hand. She was so in her head, her body was lifeless and easy to pull away. She came with me without a fight and we went to a quiet corner to talk. Brooke's face had turned a red and swollen mess as she sniffled and tried to stop the sea of tears that were constantly leaking from her eyes.
"Brooke?" I called, looking at her and feeling guilty. She looked so broken as she continued to sob softly and wipe the rapidly rolling tears away. I felt my own eyes leak.
"Say something, please," I begged as my voice cracked.
"I promised to trust you and not run away at the drop of a pin, so I won't." That was all she said, although her body was shuddering and breaking. She did not look at me. Her head was still bent as her hair fell effortlessly, covering most of it like a curtain. Yet, her hands constantly moved to her eyes and nose, trying to wipe away stray tears and snot. "But, I mean, it's - it's a baby, Luke!"
This made me break. I felt pangs of guilt and fear overcome my whole body. I turned stone cold as the words hit me with their full fury. Hearing the words from Lindsey and my mind had still kept me in denial, but hearing them come from Brooke's mouth made them all too real. I imagined standing there in a hospital, cradling a baby with Lindsey while my family stood outside.
I felt so far away from them all. Jamie and Sophia would never forgive me, Brooke's words showed that she was internalising it. She would keep it all in and silently kill herself in the process. Lindsey would only make everything all too difficult.
Oh God, what had I done? Why did I not remember it? How could I have? It made no sense, I didn't want to sleep with her. How did that happen?
"I-I don't even remember it, Brooke! I really don't! I wouldn't…" I tried to justify the situation but it sounded so horrible to me, how was I to make it sound remotely agreeable to Brooke?
"We weren't together. You have nothing to apologise about," she said stiffly. "She was your girlfriend. You slept with her and made a baby!" She burst out laughing at that point. She was hysterical. How was any of this funny? Then she suddenly stopped.
"What do we do?" I asked softly.
Brooke started looking at me to make decisions. I saw her eyes search mine, looking for any glint of answers. "It is your baby. Ball's in your court," she said but her body language seemed to defy her words.
"I don't want to lose you!" I said, a little too quickly.
"I already promised not to run, didn't I?" she said. Her voice was dry and heavy.
I stared at her. I guess I should've said something, anything, I mean, for a guy who was a famous writer, it suddenly seemed like no words had ever been written. Besides, I was pretty much screwed no matter what I would say.
Brooke and I returned to where Lindsey was sitting. She seemed to be enjoying the predicament she had put us in.
"Uhh, so how does this work, Lindsey? You don't live here and my family is in Tree Hill. Do we need lawyers?" I asked, knowing full well that I was treading on thin ice.
"Oh, I don't want you to have anything to do with this kid. You left me for this woman. I won't let my child go through that," she said with a laugh as if she found the whole co-parenting idea funny.
"It was you who left. You cheated and ran, Lindsey!" I seethed.
"And yet, you came to Brooke's name while being my boyfriend. I am certain you had your clutches on him long before I left. You aren't any better than I am," she said. This one was directed straight at Brooke.
Normally, Brooke would have said something back. It wasn't true. We hadn't cheated although we had been playing an emotional game back then. It was all brought about by our crazy history and the kids being gunshot victims. I waited for Brooke to get into bitch mode. She didn't say anything. She continued sitting there silently.
"What is it that you have thought of?" I asked once I was sure that Brooke was not going to argue. What was Lindsey angling at? None of it made any sense.
"What I want is that you pay me half a million dollars, I go away and you have nothing to do with this kid. It's not like money is that money is tough for either one of you to produce," she negotiated as if the child, my child was a business agreement. In fact, she said it casually while checking her nails out! What was wrong with that woman?
"What!" I gasped. "Why would I go for that?"
"As I said, you and Mrs. Designer over here made a good living and Brooke especially is a very public figure. She can't ruin her image and if she wants to stay with you, you two gotta pay up," she answered coolly.
"Hey! This is Lucas' child, he has rights to it and if he wants to be involved, he damn well can. My public presence has nothing to do with his relationship with his kid!" Brooke screamed a little too loudly for a public setting and her social media presence.
"Okay," Lindsey said, holding her hands defensively. "Don't say I didn't offer. I will be expecting child support, Lucas." With that, she took her bag and left the restaurant.
"Wait, where are you staying? How long are you here for? What has the doctor said at the appointments?" I asked, getting my bearings.
"Just consider the offer and pay up," she said and walked away.
"What are we gonna do, Luke?" Brooke asked me once Lindsey disappeared from our sight.
"I- I really don't know," I answered.
I paid the bill with trembling hands and Brooke and I walked towards our car. The ride was eerily silent. I just drove along and Brooke stared out of the window. She didn't dare to glance in my direction and I could only see her face from the silhouette on the window. She had gone completely passive. I was no better. I did not move my hand to rest on her legs, both my hands clutched the steering wheel as I focused all my attention on the empty road.
I tried to wrap my head around what Lindsey had just told us about but my mind had stopped working. It was pure blank. When I parked the car, Brooke and I silently walked in.
"I'll get started on Dinner. Andy is coming today, let Karen have some free time with him and yeah," Brooke said before walking into the kitchen. She just wanted to keep herself occupied, it was evident on her face which still looked like she had seen a poltergeist.
I stood by the door and watched her, not knowing what to do. What was I supposed to do after this bomb had dropped onto my lap and exploded everything? So I just watched her movements from afar. She opened the refrigerator and just stood there with the doors open. It was only when it began beeping indicating that the door had been left open that she snapped out of it.
I saw her exhale a huge sigh before grabbing a couple of vegetables and bringing out the chopping board. Her eyes showed that she was elsewhere. She stood a the counter and began to dice some bell peppers. Usually, I would offer some help, but I knew that she would not appreciate it that day. Maybe I could take a leaf out of her book and sort out the laundry, that is if my over-efficient mother hadn't gotten to it first. I decided to move and run a round when suddenly, I heard her hiss in pain as she bent, gingerly cradling her finger.
"Brooke!" I yelled as I ran towards her and saw that she had cut her finger badly. It looked gnarly as blood ooze out of her severed finger. She was already hurrying towards the sink to wash away the blood.
"It's fine. I've got it," she said as soon as I reached the sink and stood beside her. She was already on her way to get out the first aid kit to bandage her cut finger.
I felt a huge pang of guilt that that moment as tears threatened to spill. Yet, I controlled myself and walked away. I walked out to the backyard and began dribbling a basketball. Before I knew it, I was intensely dunking baskets in the hoop Brooke had erected for me years ago. I was removing all my pent-up anger and frustration on the ball, hitting it a little too aggressively. The activity was doing well to help me forget just how badly I had messed up.
For years after our divorce, I lived in denial. I would have never left my bed, had my kids not been with me, my kids that I shared with Brooke. I prayed for years that she would come back home. I would marry her again in a minute. I waited for her and secretly hoped that we would figure it out.
It took a lot of time to accept the fact that Brooke and I were over and it was time for me to move on. The tabloids of Brooke with new men go more and more frequent, her visits got lesser and lesser and it was Nathan and Haley who convinced me to begin dating again, and go live a full life.
I didn't want to. I didn't know how to. They had met Lindsey before as she had been my editor even when Brooke and I were married. I had told her that Brooke and I were having problems and I didn't appreciate her putting her work first all the time. She had gone and told Brooke what I had said and Brooke had lost her mind to that. She always told me that Lindsey was into me and it that she didn't like her. Yet, I shrugged away her insecurities like they were dust bunnies.
So when I just had to go on a date, I asked Lindsey out of spite. I just did it to spite Brooke. I knew that the kids would tell her. In fact, I was counting on it. When they did, Brooke just said, "Took her long enough." The words cut me so deeply, I stayed - wanting to piss Brooke off. I wanted her to be as upset about seeing me with other women as I was seeing her in tabloids and I guess it worked because that year, she brought Julian with her to Thanksgiving.
I literally stayed with Lindsey to keep Brooke jealous, now that I thought about it and then she had just been present for so long that I forgot why I started dating her in the first place. And now I was going to have a child with her! How messed up was that!?
"Hey, if you go harder on that ball, it's going to get flat, man!" I suddenly heard Nathan's voice from the door. He was leaning against the door frame and watching as I dunked another basket.
"Oh, Nate, hi!" I said, confused at finding him there. "What are you doing here?"
"Had to see you after we heard what happened," he said, making my insides instantly freeze. My face turned pale in seconds as I tried to gulp down the bile that was threatening to make its way back up my food pipe.
Nathan on the other hand didn't seem to notice my reaction. He didn't even wait for a reply as he entered the house again. I followed him in to see that Haley and Sophia were sitting at the breakfast table while a still-in-shock Brooke continued to prepare dinner.
"Hey, Haley Nathan, what brings you guys over?" she asked, not looking up to face them. She continued to concentrate on the vegetables. I looked at her finger which she had carefully wrapped in a band-aid.
"Why didn't either one of you tell us? I am so pissed at both of you right now!" Haley screamed. I couldn't help the dread that settled in my belly. Had Lindsey already gone and told them what happened since we didn't agree to pay her half a million dollars?
"Huh? Well, I mean.." Brooke rambled, feeling as panicked as I was. She gave a quick glance towards me before going back to focusing on her palms.
"I thought we were important to you and that you were my best friend! I expected you to share such big news with us! It totally sucks to get it second-hand from somebody else!" Haley continued to complain. "And neither one of you said anything! You both kept quiet!"
Brooke opened and closed her mouth several times but no words came out. I wasn't any help either and that's when I noticed that I was standing there with my mouth open as well.
"It- it happened just now, I mean, we are still processing it," I answered. Haley looked at me and rolled her eyes.
"Still processing it! Well, I would've loved to help you process but no, you got to keep it a secret! Well at least show me!" she said, making me wonder if I even grabbed the ultrasound picture. I probably hadn't.
"Wait, why are you wearing your ring on your neck?" Sophia asked suddenly as she noticed the necklace I had put Brooke's engagement ring in.
"Oh, Luke! It's wonderful!" Haley admired. "Wait, you redesigned the old one! That is the most romantic thing ever!"
"Oh, you mean the engagement," Brooke whispered as it clicked to her as well.
"Yeah, what else? Princess Loudmouth spilt the beans at the studio," Haley said with an eye roll.
"Hey, I totally thought they would have told you by now! It's been weeks!" Sophia defended herself.
"Yeah, err, sorry. We planned to call you over and have a celebration to announce it," Brooke said with a fake smile although just watching her pretend that everything was okay was exhausting for me.
"But why are you wearing it around your neck?" she asked curiously.
"Oh, I was just in the pool. I didn't want to take any chances," she lied before unclasping the necklace and pulling the ring out. I saw her put it back on her ring and look at it. Her face looked conflicted as she watched. Shit, was I about to lose my fiance? I did not want to lose Brooke. She kept saying that she would not run, yet her instincts had always been to do that at the first sign of trouble. Hell, this time I wouldn't even blame her. I was going to have a baby with a woman that wasn't her!
"I'm so happy Brooke! We'll be sisters-in-law again!" she said, hugging her. Brooke was paralysed in the hug as her face contorted in horror. Mine was no different. Even if Brooke and I made it to the alter which now seemed like a humongous if, we would be welcoming a new addition to the family. Why couldn't it be Brooke who was having my baby instead?
"Congratulations man!" Nathan said to me as he came forward to hug me as well. "Both of you really deserve to be with each other and deserve all the happiness and joy that you missed out on. I mean you two are really made for each other. It's a testament to time. Even though you fell apart, your love was so strong despite the years, other people and well companies, you two got back together. I know this will now be a good easy run. You tackled the bad and ugly and managed to keep the love alive. You two were just too young back then so don't let it get to you. Even baby Brooke here seems to have matured now."
What was I supposed to say to my brother's words? I felt like a tonne of bricks had landed on my chest. I was sure that Brooke was going to leave me and my children, well existing children were going to hate me. I was going to lose it all.
Why was the Universe against me and Brooke? We just never seemed to get our happy ending. First, she was shipped to London, then we got pregnant, then there was the Company and finally when things seemed good, this.
"Uh, thanks Nate," I replied after he kept looking at us expectantly.
"You two are behaving a little funny. Is everything okay?" Haley asked. Her face showed worry lines as she looked at both of us.
"Yeah, I was down with a fever. I guess it's just that," Brooke said with another plastered smile.
"You have to tell me every detail about the wedding! Ooh, I am so excited!" Haley clapped her hands. At that moment, she couldn't care less about the wedding.
"Hales, I'm really not feeling great today and Andy will be here soon. Could we pick it up another day?" she asked, getting tired.
"Oh, Tigger, I'm so sorry! Of course! Do you need any help? I could finish dinner, let you rest up," she said, coming to my at least for now fiance's aid.
"Nah, I've got it," she said with a weak smile.
"Oh okay, sorry to just barge in. We were both really excited to hear the news," Haley said, eyeing her up and down.
"No, don't be crazy. I absolutely love having you over. I'm sorry we didn't tell you sooner," Brooke said, trying to sound pleasant.
"Hey bro, take care of my sister, okay? You both seem to be down," he said as he proceeded to give me a side hug. He then moved to hug Brooke tight and told her to call him if she needed anything before kissing her cheek goodbye. With a quick hug to Sophia, they were out the door.
"What time do Grandma and Andy get back?" Sophia asked, her head buried in the phone she had just got back after the grounding.
"I don't know, Darling. Uh, I'm going to head out for a bit, okay?" I said and without waiting for any response, I grabbed my wallet and keys and left the door.
I found myself driving to the Beach. Getting out of my car, I sat in the same spot I sat at when I found out that Brooke was pregnant although I was pretty sure that Lindsey would neither come looking for me and even if she did, she would not find me.
I let out a huge sigh once I had focused my attention on the ocean waves crashing to the shore. I lay down on the sand and just closed my eyes. I tried to imagine what a baby with Lindsey would look like. The twins had looked so much like us, you could exactly tell they were ours. Sophia with her light brunette girls and dimples with my eyes and Jamie with dirty blonde hair and my eyes with those trademark Brooke Davis dimples.
I tried to morph our features but I drew a blank. I just could not picture having a baby with anybody but Brooke. "Arghhhhhhhhh!" I screamed suddenly. I was filled with so much rage. Not caring, that I was fully clothed, I walked into the ocean and wrestled with the waves. I went deep into the water where my feet would not reach the sea bed. Then I tried to go under and stay there.
Eventually, my body did its survival thing and I came up to the surface for air. The sun was setting and slowly sinking below the horizon. I should have been home a long time ago. Andy was coming and my mom would expect me there. Yet, I felt so shameful being with them. I felt like a fraud who had wronged them and broken us all apart. I was fully responsible for the misery Brooke was going through and what my kids would go through when we would tell them. I fully expected my mom to slap me for messing things with Brooke. She loved that girl more than she loved me.
I considered not going home, driving away for a few days to get my head on straight. But, I knew that that would be the most selfish thing to do and so I drove back home in all my wet glory.
I entered the house and saw Brooke serving dinner to everybody in the dining room. She could sense me perhaps because she looked up as soon as I was there. I saw her body stiffen when she noticed how wet I was. She gave a soft shrug as if she expected me to do just what I had and with a movement of her eyes, she asked me to get changed and come back down. The kids were too busy talking to Andy and mom was trying to get Lilly to eat her vegetables so nobody else took note of our small exchange.
Even though no words were spoken, that was the most we had interacted since Lindsey changed the trajectory of our lives.
"Hey, Luke! Finally! Where were you, man?" Andy asked me when I returned downstairs.
"Hey, sorry. I just had to take care of a few things," I said.
"So congratulations to both of you again! I must suggest, how about having the wedding in New Zealand? We could fly everyone down there. The grounds are massive and the mansion is large. There are some hotels nearby as well," Andy suggested.
"Mom, have you begun working on your wedding gown?" Sophia asked. "I want to know which direction you are going for the bridesmaid dresses. What are your colours?"
"Uh, I have been so busy with the Sports Illustrated swimsuit collection and with the renovation for the Tree Hill office, it barely leaves any time for wedding planning. We will pick dates and plan it, err, later I guess," she answered.
"Just get married already! At least it will all be real then and harder to let go of each other," Jamie said, surprising us all. "I'm scared, okay, of the two of you breaking up. I just want my mom and dad to be my mom and dad together."
Oh, James! If only he knew just how badly we were teetering by a thread. Why did we think it was a good idea to get back together? Why did love just not love us back?
Brooke and I both remained quiet for that round until Sophia shoved him with her elbow and started gabbing about how awesome a New Zealand wedding would be.
That night, once everybody had gone to bed, I sat on the farthest end of the bed with the book I was reading or pretending to read that day since I hadn't registered a word I had read.
Brooke sat on the farthest end of the bed too. She was sitting with her iPad, sketching some designs on it. I watched her from the corner of my eye as she tried to concentrate on her work. We hadn't exchanged any words. We just sat there in the overwhelming feeling we were both experiencing. It felt like we were in these two separate bubbles. We could see each other, but not connect, emote or contact each other. All we had was ourselves and that feeling of all the air getting sucked out constantly while still being able to breathe.
Brooke kept erasing and reworking the same line over and over until she grunted in frustration. She began scribbling on the screen with intense force, covering her beautiful design with thick black lines. With each scribble she drew, the sound of her voice grew lower until it just stopped. At that moment, she put back the lid of the iPad, shoved it on the nightstand and slept on the bed, hugging the covers to her chest. I got that as my cue and turned off the light, laying down on the soft bed as well.
There were constant shuffling sounds as neither of us slept. Eventually, sleep must have come to me though because the next time I opened my eyes, Brooke was not lying beside me and the only proof I had of her being there before was her pillow that had been stained wet with her tears.
