The cold is a welcomed diversion as she steps out on the roof top, barely any body is out here, it's just too cold, but she enjoys the brisk air. She thinks she's beyond tipsy now, her mind unsettling but muffled from the alcohol. Her team said goodbye one after the other, but she's still here. Still waiting for him. Still not sure, if it's the right decision, if she really should do it, but … She asked him out and promised to wait, so she'll wait.
Maybe waiting and the cold air give her a litte time to sober up a bit. She has no idea, how many champagne flutes she's been handled and emptied while fighting through several shallow conversations that died pretty quickly because she's just awkward at small talk and has nothing to offer. No fancy travels, no fancy cars, no valuable connections or money.
Being his muse and inspiration was the only interesting thing about her, whatever Castle saw in her, was nothing she could interest others in. And being a homicide detective always scares people away, she might've used that a couple of time to flee a conversation. Although she doesn't feel guilty for it. She hates small talk and specifically with people like this, displaying their expensive watches, their trophy wives, comparing their net worth. Argh. No, this is definitely not her world.
The touch of his warm hand trailing down her back to rest at the small of her back calms her raving thoughts instantly. Relishing she closes her eyes, suppressing a sigh and the urge to lean into his hand, into the warmth that's radiating off of his body. What is he doing with her? Normally, something like this would've made her jump and draw her weapon, but with him … tonight … It's different.
"There you are. I feared for a moment that I missed you. Sorry, it took me so long." She turns to look him in the eyes, eyes that look beyond exhausted, almost drained of the usually overflowing, sparkling energy that lies behind them. Huh, interesting.
"It's okay. Are you still up for the drink or do you want to head home straight away?" She bites her tongue the minute she says the words and, of course, he catches her slip.
"Are you offering, Detective?" His smirk and the teasing sparkles coming alive in his eyes again warm her heart, to see that she can bring it back even after an exhausting workday. She just bumps her shoulder against his, not quite in the mood to tease him too much, but somehow she remains there, slightly leaning against him.
"That's not what I meant. You look tired. I thought this," she makes a sweeping gesture "is your lifeblood. High society, glamour, luxury, talking, flirting, joking." He huffs, almost snorts, so mirthlessly her heart tightens.
"Yeah, well. Hate to break it to you, Beckett, but it's more about connections and prestige than anything else." The look on his face is sad and distant and she could slap herself for saying something like that. "Maybe you're right and I should head home. Don't think I'd be a good company right now." No, no, no!
"I think I can endure you a little bit longer." She jokes, before she becomes serious again. "It must have been exhausting. How long have you been here?"
"Mhm, don't know. Four hours? Five? Six? It's all a blur of reading, giving interviews, signing books, talking to people, having pictures taken ..." He rubs his hand over his forehead and looks even more tired. Her heart aches for him, suppressing the need to slide her fingers over the deep creases on his face. Even after the toughest cases with her, he never looked as tired as he does now.
"So I guess with the book coming out and your new book your calender will be pretty full the next few weeks?" She bites her lip, sounding way to needy in her own ears, and of course, he takes her up on it.
"Why, Detective Beckett? Already missing my wits and my charm? Maybe I can clear my calender for you, if you cannot live without me." He wiggles his eyebrows, eliciting an eyeroll and a huff from her, hiding the smile and the need to agree. "But yeah ... yeah. Lots of boring meetings, readings all over town, then the country and Paula even wants me to do an Europe tour this time." He huffs and shakes his head in disbelief and ... disappointment?
"Wow, that sounds… big." Europe? Really? Does that mean that he already signed the contract?
"Yeah, she wants to make the most of it. Nikki Heat already gets a lot of attention because of you and me and ... us. Our partnership, I mean, of course. As inconvenient as it is. We're getting a lot of press that boosts the book sales, preorders were through the roof. So I'm having a hard time argu... negotiating the exact terms because I have a contract and if they comply with adjusting the times and places to align with Alexis' schedule so I can spend as much time as possible with her because I hate leaving her alone ... then there is not much left on my side to bargain. So yeah, pretty booked for the next few months." Wait ... Months?
"I'm sorry, Castle."
"No, don't be. I just hate this part of being a writer. I love telling stories, carrying my readers off in my world, in my stories ... touching them. But the whole publicity thing? I wish that wouldn't be a part of my job." He sighs. "But the good part: the people love Nikki Heat, they love you."
"Yeah, I figured. A lot of people were approaching me. Some even wanted me to sign their book. But I'm kinda disappointed, I was looking forward to signing some sexy butts." She lets him see the twinkling of her eyes, relishes in the light that his laughter brings to his face, to her heart.
"Maybe I can find you some. But that's amazing, Beckett. I guess I should have glued you to my side. Paula would've loved it for sure, more to talk about. But maybe you would have scared some clingy fan away. Show them your gun." Kate laughs genuinely. How does he make it so easy for her to let go?
"So I guess your playboy image won't boost sales this time?" He huffs amused.
"I'm not sure yet. I had to stop Paula from spreading some rumors about us. She's aiming for the whole 'will they or will they not' story, she'd love some romantic articles about me. 'Castle, the notorious playboy charming the sexy detective.' But I didn't want her to use you like this." The media wouldn't want any love story. They'd want theirs. Kate's heart leaps by his words as she watches slow, heavy motion of his Adams apple, before he turns towards her and his dark gaze, full of longing hits her, sets her on fire. Beckett clears her throat.
"So. A drink?" Her voice is too high, too rough, too strangled, almost as if you could hear the fast beating of her heart in it.
"Can I talk you into taking the drink at the loft?" Her heart flatters in her chest, a lump building in the back of her throat, she tries hard to swallow it. A drink at the loft? No, no, no, that's a really, really bad idea. A really bad one.
"Fearing that I might sweep you off your feet?" She tries to tease, but her heart is beating too fast, the blood in her ears too loud.
"Too late for that." His eyes are open and honest on hers troubling her to breathe.
"Okay," her voice is nothing more than a breathless whisper, but he hears her anyway and takes her arm like a gentleman leading the way. It takes all she got to not lean against him.
The loft is dark and empty when they arrive, suprising Castle as much as herself. Her heart jumps into her throat, quickening her breath – this is not what she was thinking about when she invited him or when she agreed to come to the loft with him. She just …
"Mh, strange. I didn't know that we'd be alone. Mother and Alexis have been headed home ages ago, they should be here. Let me check that real quick, yeah?" He still takes her coat and hangs it in the closet before he hurries away to find his family, his worry palpable. Kate looks around the loft awkwardly. It feels so strange to be here with him alone. So forbidden. She should be leaving. She really should. Definitely. She just wanted to have one drink with him before he leaves her. Argh. Before he leaves. Nothing more. She just didn't want the night to end, didn't want to say goodbye to him just yet. She knows that his day tomorrow is filled to the brink with meetings, he won't have time to stop by the precinct and say goodbye then.
Lanies voice is whispering in her ear coaxing her into confessing her feelings and that this is perfect to see where it goes. She slowly crosses the living room to sit at the breakfast bar waiting for him as she spots the scrap of paper. Curiousity gets the better of her before she can stop herself.
"Castle?", she calls up to him. "They left you a note. Apparently Alexis is at a spontaneous sleepover with Paige and your Mother is at Chet's. She says 'don't wait up' with a twinkle smiley." Castle almost falls down the steps at that causing Kate to laugh.
"Uh, well, okay." He glances at her, takes her in, his eyes soft and open.
"What?" Kate breathes.
"Ah … I'm sorry. It's just … you look so beautiful in my kitchen. Uh, sorry, it's been a long day, my filters obviously don't work anymore." Kate dips her head, smiles to herself.
"Thank you, Castle."
"I'm sorry about … this situation. I don't want to make you feel uncomfortable. I know you just wanted to buy me a farewell drink, not to be with me in my loft alone. So, you can totally leave, of course." She looks at him for a long time, making him squirm beneath her gaze but the soft smile on her lips never fades. She's surprised how nervous he seems, how much he wants her to enjoy their time together and feel safe with him.
"That's actually pretty sweet, Castle. I didn't peg you for being such a gentleman given your history", he winces at that eliciting another smile from her. "I'm perfectly comfortable being alone with you in your apartment. Even though you cheated me out of bying you a drink."
"Another time, I promise." Another time. Her heart dances in her chest. He promised her another time. After that. It makes her way happier than it should be.
"But don't wait too long. I heard you're going to be pretty busy the next few months with your new book." Castle sighs, rubs his forehead and she draws her eyebrows together. He doesn't look like the happy and proud schoolboy he was just yesterday. "What's going on? I thought you got the offer?"
"Oh, yeah, I did. I got the offer." His smile is fleeting, not honest, not reaching his eyes, his eyes downcast, not meeting hers no matter how much she tries to catch them.
"Why aren't you happy about it?" Her voice is barely a whisper, too anxious about what's coming next. He finally lifts his gaze, meets hers and his hand touches hers tentatively, scaring her heart into tripping, her breath into catching.
"I'm not sure if I should take it."
"Of course, you should, Castle. This is your dream, this is all you ever wanted. And you got it. This will blow up your career. You told me that you became a writer because of these books. Now you get to write them yourself. This is a full circle moment."
"What if my dream changed?" His gaze is so intense she forgets how to breathe, for what seems like an eternity they are just looking at each other, being way to close. But then he averts his gazes, chuckles softly.
"I'm sorry, Beckett. Ignore my emotional gabbering. It's been a long day, I'm exhausted. I'm probably just wondering how I'd manage even more attention than this. Touring worldwide…" He isn't able to finish his sentence because Kate is suddenly leaping forward, pressing her lips on his, softly sighing when they finally meet.
It's all he needs. His hands are at the back of her neck, in her hair, pulling her closer and closer, breathing her in while taking all the air away from her. His lips are so soft and warm on hers, sending jolts of electricity through her whole body, creating the most intensive heat in her center she ever felt. One of his arms slides around her waist, pressing her against his body, while he deepens their kiss, flirts with her mouth like there's no tomorrow.
She wants to feel him, to touch him, wants their skin to connect. His fingers ghost over the sensitive spots on her neck, make love to her bare skin. Oh, god, why does he know exactly how to touch her and where to touch her? Impatience overcomes her and she pulls on his dress shirt, untucks it from his pants, undoes it and lets her icy fingers wander beneath. He flinches at the contact, draws back a little bit but is back almost immediatly, pressing into her fingers. His muscles surprisingly firm as she lets her hands explore his naked chest. It's still not enough. She wants more, suddenly feels restricted in her dress, almost trapped.
"Get it off," she growls, biting his lip accidently in frustration. He stills beneath her, slowly pulls back to look her in the eyes.
"Kate, are you sure? We don't have to do this now. We have all the time in the world." She winces, too surprised by his rejection. She would've thought he'd immediatly rips the dress off her and takes her right here on the counter, given his reputation. Frustrated, she huffs to herself. Yeah, his reputation, right. Didn't she just learned a few hours ago how much of it is just for publicity? Doesn't she know enough about him now, that he's not that careless playboy he pretends to be, but instead a loving and caring human? She lets her head fall to his shoulder breathing him in for a moment. He smells so good, even after the stressful day he had. He smells like him and … home. Does she really want this? She just wanted a drink, not having to say goodbye to him too quickly. But then … her body still burns everywhere he touched her, heat is pulsating through her veins, so intense she's almost aching for him. She lifts her eyes to him, sees the worry in his beautiful oceans, her hand moves on its own accord, brushing softly over the creases on his forehead, the wrinkles around his eyes.
"Yes", she breathes tenderly, feels the ripple that goes through him when the hot air washes over him, "Yes, I am sure." His lips flirt with hers, soft and tender, eliciting the sweetest moans from her chest. His fingers curl around hers and he tugs her slowly in the direction of what she assumes to be his bedroom, his lips never leaving hers, indulging her with sweet, almost timid kisses that still make her center burn with desire, maybe even more now.
She always thought that sleeping with him would be quick and intense, steamy like the scenes in his books, that lust would overwhelm them and end in few hours of amazing sex before they part ways again.
But now? As he slowly leads her into his bedroom, mindful and loving, she thinks it might be more like she secretly dreamed about before she knew him. Soft kisses, thoughtful touches, long intensive love-making, frustratingly slow.
Undressing her alone is like as if he wanted to create a masterpiece, he worships every inch of her body he frees from her dress with his mouth and fingers. Lowering her gently to the bed when her knees give in. Then she lies naked in front of him and he just stares there, still fully dressed and looks at her.
"What?", she croaks doubtful, but he just shakes his head, comes in for a slow and sensual kiss that leaves her breathless, his fingers flirting with her body, stroking up and down her sides, leading her to chase his touches and draws a chuckle from him.
"You are the most beautiful woman I've ever seen." She snorts at that. Yeah, right. Hasn't he slept with several super models and actresses? "I mean it, Kate. Just like I meant the dedication. This is everything I've been dreaming for a long time." Their eyes meet, the honesty leaves her speechless, robs her of the ability to breathe. She believes him and it overwhelms her, makes her too vulnerable and drives her crazy.
Before he even sees her coming, she presses him onto the bed and undresses him, too desperate to get back the control over the situation. His words leaving her way too raw, to open. She's not ready for talks like this. She doesn't want to think, doesn't really want to feel anything besides his body right now.
And then he's naked, too, and her mouth gets dry just from looking at what he always hid beneath his dress shirts and pants. How does a writer like this get muscles like that? Her body is craving his, a need so intense she never felt before. And so she gives in, does what her bodys wants since she met him.
They're fighting over who has the control over and over again with their lips and bodys, driving each other out of their minds, but it feels playful and natural, easy and beautiful. She's never laughed so much, giggling like a teenager and bursting into laughter, her body sings with happiness and the feeling of him, making her mind dream of a life with him, wandering off while he
