She didn't call. Of course not. She hates calling for things like that. It's always awkward. She's more of an 'in-person' type. So she plans on stopping by at his loft the next day. She's too upset, too confused to talk to him right away, so she delays it until the next day. Because then she'll have the courage. But then there's Demming again, wanting to go out with her. She still hasn't told him that she's not interested in him. Still keeping him warm. Still can't understand why. And then there's a case. And another one. And of course, another one because it's Halloween and full moon and people are way too crazy.
So it's been over a week after her talk with Lanie that she finally knocks on his door. Piercing blue eyes and flaming red hair welcome her on the other side.
"Detective Beckett! Please, come in." Alexis' eyes light up with joy when she sees her, she instantly grabs her arm and guides her inside the loft. "It's nice to see you. What are you doing here?"
"I ... I wanted to talk to your dad. Is he there?" The memories of the last time she was in the loft make her nauseous. Alexis frowns and shakes her head in puzzlement.
"Uh. No. He's on a book tour. I thought you knew?" Damn, Kate slaps her forehead, she forgot.
"Damn, Alexis. Yeah, of course. The book tour. I completely forgot. The last ten days just have been really crazy, we've got so many cases. So many crazy cases. Your dad would have loved them." She chuckles, but it turns sour as her heart sinks at the reminder that he's no longer her partner and she's not able to see him. She misses him so much. The sudden loss of adrenalin makes her dizzy.
"Oh yeah, Dad loves the crazy ones." Alexis laughs loudly before she catches up with the change in the detective. "Detective Beckett, are you okay? You're so pale suddenly. Please, sit down." Kate cautiously takes a seat on the couch, not trusting her legs anymore. She was so nervous and excited on the way to the loft, so sure she'd see him, and now ... he's on this stupid book tour she forgot ... and it drains all giddy energy from her body and catching up with the exhaustion of throwing herself into work to not think too much.
"Um, yeah. I'm sorry. Thank you, Alexis. I should have called. I just wanted to see him, tell him about all the crazy cases he misses out on. And I ..." She leans forward, her head between her legs when the whole loft starts spinning. She's been running on empty for way too long. Alexis startles her when she presses a glass of cold water in one of her hands and a bowl of crackers in the other.
"Here, drink and eat a bit. I always forget to eat when I study. Dad has to feed me then. I don't know how often I almost fainted since he's on the tour and I haven't eaten all day." She chuckles softly, sending Kate a compassionate smile when she sits up again. The detective blushes, feeling caught. "But crackers always help. I was just about to heat some leftovers, we have lots of pasta. Grams isn't actually a good cook so we order in a lot," she whispers to Kate as if she were her ally while Kate drinks the water and nibbles on some crackers. Alexis is right, it really does help. Her body is craving to be rehydrated.
"I'm really sorry about that Alexis. Please, don't trouble yourself on my account-"
"Nonsense, Detective Beckett. I'm actually pretty hungry myself, so why don't you eat the crackers while I heat some pasta and then we'll eat together. I'd love some company! Gram's rehearsing the whole evening. You can tell me all about the last cases you got. It's strange but I kinda miss Dad's stories about your cases. You had so many freaky ones! You miss him, do you?"
Kate chokes on her water. What is she supposed to say to that? "I ... uh ... I ... Yeah, I have a hard job ... but having him around made it ... a little more fun. I didn't realize how much I got used to him and his stupid jokes and theories until now." Alexis smiles genuinely.
"Yeah, I know what you mean. I miss him, too. It's strange without him here. Grams great, you know, but it's not the same." Yeah, she can relate. Nothing can replace a parent and Alexis and Castle are especially close. She mimics her smile and places the empty glass on the little table next to the couch.
"When will he be back?"
"Um. I don't know honestly. Nikki Heat is his greatest success so far. Paula wants to add more and more dates and locations to the book tour because the demand is so high so I'm not really up to date right now." Pride fills her heart at her words. Nikki Heat is his greatest success? She thought that, too, but she's biased, of course. It gives her a strange comfort to know that others value the book as much as she does. "I'm visiting him in a week to make up for Halloween, really excited about that. I might also be able to take part in an exchange program and Paula agreed to keep his schedule open during that time."
"In Europe?! Wow, this is an amazing opportunity." She exclaims before she can control herself. Alexis chuckles while she puts some pasta on dishes and in the microwave.
"Don't tell Dad, he hates it when I use this thing. But yeah. This is a first. He's never had a book tour in Europe but they love Nikki Heat there. It's huge in the UK, but his biggest fans now are the Spanish. Nikki Fuego. Dad is even trying to learn some Spanish but it's awful. Really awful." The girl laughs at the memory, making Kate smile. Oh, she can picture it vividly. Hm. Spain. So far away.
"So where will you meet with him? Spain?"
"I don't know yet. Depends on the dates of his book tour. He's in Spain right now, then the UK, and then France. The exchange would be in France. At least that's the plan for now. But Paula changes it almost daily. It's so annoying. Dad is so mad at her but he promised her an extended book tour with this offer this time and she already agreed to keep his schedule free while I visit him so he just has to smile and nod at every change she makes."
"Why did he agree to this extended tour? I thought he hates it to leave you alone?" Kate watches Alexis bustling around, preparing their food in the kitchen.
"Oh, yeah, he does. But it was part of the deal. So he barely had a choice. He asked me though if I would be okay with that or if he should accept the other offer. But I know that he wanted to do it so badly, that it makes him happy so of course it's fine with me. Besides I'm sixteen, I'll go to college in two years and everything will change so I thought it might be a good experience. I also have the opportunity to go to different countries in Europe as part of that tiny exchange program so if Paula acts on her threats to keep him in Europe until the new year, I'll be in Europe, too."
"Until the new year? How ... how long is the extended book tour?" Her heart sinks. New year? That's still so far away, more than two months. She cannot wait so long to see him, to make this right.
"Ummm, I think he promised three or four months and some additional promotion. More readings, more signings, more meet and greets in New York. A lot of boring events. So I think all in all it'll be about six months. Dad is already whining that he accepted that deal because he's barely had time to write and then Gina will kill him." Alexis chuckles again but it resounds jarring in Kate's head. Six months? Is that her punishment? She was so certain she'd never see him again not even two weeks ago, so why is six months suddenly so awful?
"Wow, that's a long time. Are you okay with that?"
"I'm not sure yet. When he told me, I thought that it would be great, you know, to test the waters, but now I'm really starting to miss him. He's only gone a week and I can barely survive my exams without an alarm on my phone to eat something." She laughs at that.
"Oh, I know what you mean. Your dad always brought me food and drinks, when I was lost in work ... and now ... I have to get used to being on my own again and I'm failing pretty hard. I don't know how I survived before." She tries to joke but it falls flat, her chuckle sounds hollow and sad. She never thought how much she'd miss him.
"Yeah, that's my dad. He always takes care of the people he loves." Alexis smiles, unaware of her choice of words. Beckett's eyes fly open, her heart's making jumping jacks in her chest. People he loves. Yeah, but that was before. She slowly turns her head to meet Alexis' worried blue eyes, only a tad lighter than her dad's. Kate sighs and bites her bottom lip.
"Please don't feel obliged to nurture me. I bet you want to go out and meet with your friends or study. I should go home and leave you to it."
"No, no, please, stay, Detective Beckett. I'm kinda lonely and I enjoy your company and you're a welcome change to grams theatre stories and life advice. I'd love to hear more about your latest cases and eat some pasta with you. But only if you want to. I totally understand if-"
"No. Alexis. I'd love to. Thank you." She's kinda lonely herself, craving some Castle magic. Lanie was right. Who is she kidding? She needs to end things with Demming and start fixing the royal mess she made with Castle.
"Perfect, because dinner's ready. How about we eat on the couch, you tell me about your crazy cases, and then we watch a movie? Do you like Disney?"
"I love Disney," Kate chuckles, looking around the loft cautiously. It's strange being here without him, spending time with his daughter while he's away. The girl sets the plates in front of them and slides down on the couch next to her. While eating, Kate dives into all the details about their latest case, making her laugh over the vampire case and cry over Hayley Blue who turned out to be Alexis' favorite musician. Together they listen to their music for hours, starting to analyze it and theorizing just like she does with her father, before they settle on watching Pocahontas.
"Well, what a pleasant surprise." Martha's soft whisper jerks her awake hours later. "Oh, I'm sorry, darling. I didn't want to wake you." She can barely see Martha's figure in the dark, Alexis' head lies heavy in her lap. They must've fallen asleep during the movie.
"No, no, 's okay, Martha. Should head home anyway. Time's it?"
"Nonsense, darling. You stay. You're too tired to drive home now, you can barely keep your beautiful eyes open. The guest room is not ready, but you can sleep in Richard's room. I know he wouldn't mind." Martha lays her hand on top of Kate's arm, warm and motherly, nudging her to stay.
"No, Martha. I couldn't-" She's not so sure he wouldn't mind, not with how they left things.
"Of course, you can, darling." Even in the dark, she can see Martha's gaze which tolerates no dissent. She sighs and nods defeated. Martha's right. She's way too tired to drive now and the thought of going back to her cold, lonely apartment is not really pleasing. Martha softly shakes Alexis' shoulder, the young girl almost instantly jumps. "Come on, Kiddo. Time for bed."
"Kate, stay, please" is the first thing she says in her sleep-slurred voice, using Kate's given name for the first time.
"I will, Alexis. Your grandma made sure of it." Kate sends a grateful smile in Martha's direction who embraces Alexis to walk her up the stairs. The elder woman simply nods gracefully and wishes her a good night.
And once again for the second time in a shy of weeks, Kate finds herself in Castle's bedroom. The sheets still smell like him, and there's an old t-shirt on the bed, probably waiting to be washed once its owner is back. Kate quickly undresses and slips into his shirt, breathing in his scent and closing her eyes before falling into his sheets and dreaming about the night they spent together, missing him badly. She's really screwed. Really, really screwed. But for the first time in two weeks, she sleeps like a baby.
