14
Bella wished that she could say when Esme walked into her office, they stripped off each other's clothes and ravished each other in a fiery evening of sex and lust. But they hadn't, because the second Esme walked into her office, Bella fell apart and cried. She just cried and cried and cried. And when she thought she was done crying, she would think about how her father had wrapped his fingers around her throat and how he'd called her a cunt and a bitch, and a new round of tears fell done her face. And Esme never let go.
"You don't have to go."
Sighing, Bella turned from the full length mirror in the corner and looked at her lover, who'd just arrived back from her overnight shift and was sitting on the edge of the bed, having just taken off her shoes and was stretching her feet.
"I can't hide. Especially after Mike Newton and Jessica Stanley saw my father being arrested at Edward's house."
Esme nodded. "But you don't have to go. You could stay here with me. Like, in bed."
Bella bit her bottom lip as she walked over and sat next to her, pushing Esme back and pulling her legs onto her lap. She wrapped her fingers around Esme's feet, earning her a throaty moan.
"I would love nothing more than to stay here with you all day. Especially if that meant feeling your magical tongue on my pussy, love, but I can't abandon him. Not after . . . after my dad went after his mother. Edward . . . Edward's fragile and vulnerable. I don't think he's been comfortable with his sexuality as long as I have, and he needs my support."
"You care about him."
"I do," she admitted. "I've . . . I've always kind of felt like an outsider here. I mean, I have friends, but nobody who I felt safe being honest with who I really am, you know?"
"I do."
"And then I saw Edward and Carlisle together, and while it shocked the fuck out of me," she laughed, "I knew he was like me. In the closet, so to speak, and now, I didn't feel as alone. When I saw your wedding picture, I thought this was an opportunity to, I don't know, make things easier for both of us. We could help each other out. He would get Jacob Black away from me, and I would be able to get Jessica Stanley to stop stalking him on the daily. It was supposed to be easy. We would pretend to be a couple, but all it did was make things worse."
"No, no, it didn't." Esme sat up and wrapped her arms around her. "I don't know what is going on with your father, sweetheart, but whatever it is, it's not your fault. You know that, don't you?"
She shrugged. "I guess. I just . . . My dad . . . Esme, I'm scared that something is really wrong with him. And I'm really scared that there isn't anything wrong with him, that he just . . . he just hates the real me."
"Oh, sweetheart." Esme tightened her arms around her. "I wish I could make everything better."
"Me too." Bella leaned her forehead against hers. "Just knowing that you love me helps."
"Well, I do love you, sweetheart."
"I love you, too. So much."
"Call me at lunch?"
Bella nodded. "I should go. Promise to sleep?"
"After I take a shower."
—S&S—
Though Bella didn't want to leave Esme, she pulled herself out of Esme's embrace, hurried downstairs. Edward and Carlisle were wrapped in each other's arms, their mouths pressed against one another's, and their hands pawing the other. It was disgusting in a beautiful sort of way, so instead of calling them out, she simply walked out onto the front porch and waited for Edward to finish making out with his boyfriend.
He hurried out a few minutes later, his cheeks turning bright red and she laughed as she followed him to his car and climbed into the passenger seat. She would have to pick up her truck after school, she thought, as Edward headed into town.
"Is she okay? Your mom, I mean."
Edward visibly tensed. "No. He . . . he, um, got sent home from the factory because of the head injury, and because he showed up drunk again, and he took his anger out on her."
Bella frowned. "I'm sorry."
"Not your fault my father is an asshole, Swan," he quipped, looking over at her for a moment before turning his attention back to the road. "She knows what he's going to do to her, and she chooses to stay. I . . . it's hard to feel sorry for her when she refuses to help herself."
"Why do you think she stays?"
"Because for some stupid, insane reason she think she deserves to be beaten."
Edward parked between Emmett's Jeep and Jasper's truck once again, and once again, those who were standing outside of school stopped and stared at them. No doubt Mike Newton and Jessica Stanley had spread the word to everyone about how her father went after Edward's mother. It was one more reason she hated the small town of Forks, Washington.
"You ready for this, Swan?"
She laughed and shook her head. "No way."
"Me either." Edward tilted his head toward her. "Carlisle said Peter should be here this afternoon."
"He said that yesterday, yet no Peter."
"Apparently he had something come up," Edward grumbled. "Not that I care. I'd prefer if he didn't come at all, but it's whatever."
"You're so cute when you're jealous, Masen."
"I'm not jealous!"
"Sure you are. Hell, I would be," Bella scoffed.
"You would?"
She nodded. "Esme and I have had that talk, you know. She's only been with two other women, and just thinking about it makes me . . . anxious."
"Why anxious?"
"Because what if when she's with me, she's thinking about one of them, comparing me to one of them, and then I start to wonder if I'm enough for her. I mean, I'm younger than her, younger than them, and what if she starts to realize I'm too young."
"Yeah," he whispered.
"Can I ask you something?"
"Haven't stopped you yet."
Bella smiled. "You seem . . . submissive to him."
"That's not a question."
"Are you submissive to him?"
Edward pressed his lips together as he looked out the window. After a moment, he turned back to her. "I've never thought of myself as a submissive person until I met him, but he . . . he's so confident and demanding and assertive that I find myself seeking his approval, waiting for him to tell me what to do. It . . . it just feels right."
Bella nodded. "I can understand that."
"Can I ask you something now?"
"Haven't stopped you yet," she quipped, throwing his words back at him.
Edward laughed. "You're the dominate one in your relationship, aren't you?"
Bella grinned. "I am."
"Why?"
"Because that's what she needs."
"How do you know that?"
Bella sighed. "I just . . . I can see it in her eyes, I guess. Her entire life has been about controlling her feelings, not letting anyone see who she really was. But I allow her to be herself, to let her walls down and be true to herself. And, to be honest, she's sexy as hell when she's on her knees in front of me."
Edward laughed. "If you say so, Swan."
"Okay, okay, enough stalling. Let's put our big panties on and get this shit over with."
Edward scoffed, but immediately climbed out and hurried around, helping her out of the car. He kept his hand wrapped around hers as the two walked across the parking lot, past the gawkers and into the building. Mike Newton and Jessica Stanley were standing just inside with Tyler Crowley and Lauren Mallory. All four were smirking, and it took every ounce of Bella's very limited control not to bitch-slap each and every one of them. Especially Jessica. She'd done nothing all week but cry over Edward, and now, she exploiting his pain for her own pleasure. She was a bitch, and sooner or later, her perfect little world was going to come crashing down around her and Bella wouldn't feel bad for her at all. Everyone knew Mike was fucking around with Lauren, too.
Ignoring them, Bella and Edward walked down the hallway to her locker, where they of course found Emmett, Rosalie, Jasper, Alice, Ben, and Angela waiting for them. They shared a look before Bella stopped and opened her locker, shoving her books inside with more force than necessary.
"You okay, Swan?" Ben asked.
"Nope," she replied, grabbing her Spanish book and then her history text before slamming her locker door. "Should I be?"
"No, we guess not," he said.
"We heard about your dad," Emmett added, causing Edward to tense. "Is your mom okay, Edward?"
"Nope."
Sorry, stupid question," Emmett muttered. "Do you know why he went after her?"
Bella inhaled a deep breath, but before she or Edward could reply, they heard Jacob Black yell, "Swan!" and they turned to see him hurrying down the hallway right at her. He stopped, his eyes shifting from her to Edward to Emmett, Jasper, and Ben before he smirked. "You and I need to talk."
"No, you don't," Jasper groused, folding his arms in front of him as he shifted protectively in front of her.
Jacob rolled his eyes, looking past the Neanderthals pretending they suddenly give two shits about her and Edward, and looked at Bella. "Seriously, Bella, you and I need to talk." He paused. "It's about your dad."
"What about him?"
"I'll tell you, but not until we're alone."
Bella sighed, looking at Edward, who shook his head. "I'll talk to you, but not without Edward there."
Jacob scowled. "Fine, whatever. You'll just tell him anyway."
"Yep."
The warning bell rang causing Emmett, Jasper, Rosalie, Alice, Ben, and Angela to hurry to their first period classes, leaving just Jacob, Edward, and Bella. Jacob shoved his hands into his pockets, and he looked around, almost like he was afraid of who was going to hear him.
"We don't have all day, Jacob," she pressed.
"Look, I don't know what's going on with your old man, but I'm done with it."
"You mean you don't want to be my boyfriend anymore?" she quipped, raising an eyebrow.
"No," he said, rolling his eyes. "Look, I like you, Swan. You're cool, or whatever, but I don't chase pussy. Pussy comes to me. Willingly, I might add."
Bella gagged.
"Whatever. Look, tell him to fucking stop, okay?"
"Tell him . . ." Bella laughed. "You think I haven't been telling him to stop pushing me to go out with you, Jake? I mean, really? I told you no how many times, yet you kept coming at me."
"Because he kept saying you needed me, Bella!"
"Needed . . ." Bella blew out a deep breath. "I'm sorry, Jacob, but you're just stupid, aren't you?"
"No," he scoffed.
"Clearly you are," Edward muttered.
"Nobody asked you, Masen."
Edward smirked and wrapped his arm around her waist. "Seeing as she's my girlfriend, I would say she asked me."
Bella smiled and leaned against him. "That's right." She paused before asking, "When he did first come to you, Jacob?"
Jacob gripped the back of his neck, looking around before speaking. "Dad first brought it up back in July. Said your dad had been asking if I was seeing anyone. Dad told him no, because Dad doesn't really know much about my social life. I guess Charlie suggested that I should ask you out, said he was worried about you being alone. I don't know, Swan, I thought it was bullshit at first, but then Charlie came to me."
"When?"
"Just before school started."
Bella nodded. "What'd he say?"
"I don't know, Swan, he just . . . he was asking about our history, tribal history. He seemed . . . most of it was nonsense, but he seemed to think that there was some kind of legend that tied you and me together, kept talking about making the Gods happy. I don't know, Swan, it was bullshit. I thought it was all bullshit at least, but he wouldn't let it go until I agreed. So, I said yes. Figured it would be one date and then he'd back off, but then you said no, and I guess I don't like being told no, so . . ."
"You thought being a major dick was the way to get me to agree to one date?"
"Never been told no by a girl before. And he kept coming to me, kept pushing me to keep trying to get you to go out with me, and I guess, I started to take it as a challenge."
"Just what every girl wants to be told, that she's only being chased because she's a challenge." Bella took a step toward Jacob, poking him in the chest with her index finger. "Let me make it clear, Jacob. I will never, ever, ever be interested in going out with you. I'm not into boys who take bedding a girl as a challenge, and I certainly don't want to be just another girl you stick your nasty, STD covered dick in. I have more respect for myself than that. Just do me a favor, and leave me alone."
"Message received." Jacob took a step backward, putting his hands up in front of him. "I'd better get to class, but I just . . . I'm sorry, okay? I really am sorry."
"So you say."
Jacob frowned before he turned and hurried to his first class.
Sighing, Bella looked at Edward. "What do you think, Masen? Should I believe him?"
"Hell no," Edward scoffed, kissing the top of her head before taking a step toward his classroom. "I'll meet you here at lunch."
"I promised I would call her."
Edward grinned. "Thanks for the heads up, Swan."
"Yeah, yeah, get to class, Masen. Don't want to get in trouble with the teacher."
"Yeah, he might spank me," Edward snickered before winking and hurrying into his classroom.
Bella turned and headed to hers, trying to keep the tears that burned her eyes at bay. Her life felt like it was falling apart, and the only person who made her feel even a little bit better was Esme.
Thank you for all the AMAZING reviews. I apologize for the delay. I have been super busy, and these guys were being stubborn as hell.
