Rowan's POV

I woke up super late and missed breakfast. I grabbed my phone and texted Sabrina who had what time she should come over. I told her to meet me at the local coffee shop. I made my way out of bed and brushed my teeth and hair. I grabbed a blue hoodie from my closet as it was raining. I threw on a pair of black leggings and put my book in my bag. I went into the kitchen and no one was here so looked and noticed there was a note from my Mom telling me she had to take my dad to a doctor's appointment. I turn the paper around and wrote a note saying I will be back later.

I was a block from the coffee shop when my phone rang. "Hello?" I said without looking.

"Wow you actually answered." Lucas chuckled with a bit of surprise.

"Yeah well we kinda are back in the same time zone now you know." I nervously laughed.

"So you got home? Isn't it early?" He wondered.

"Maybe a few days? I don't know something with a better deal on the plane ticket." I kept walking.

"Oh that's good to save the money then." He added.

"Um I guess so?" I felt so awkward.

"I'm glad you're home." He added.

"It's good to be home." I arrived at the coffee shop but I waited to go inside til I was off the phone.

"When can I see you?" Lucas asked me.

"Maybe tomorrow?" I offered.

"Maybe?" He sounded confused.

"I'm sorry. I've been tying to adjust to everyone wanting to see me." I said.

"Let me know when you can make time for me." Lucas said as he hung up.

I sighed and walked into the coffee shop to see Sabrina wearing a cute white romper.

"Row!" She ran over and hugged me.

I smiled and hugged her back. "You look so pretty."

"Look at you and your hair! It got so long!" Sabrina gets in line.

I follow her. "How have you been?"

"Great. What are you going to order?" She asked me.

"A large caramel macchiato with oat milk." I said.

"Really?" She giggled at my new found love for coffee.

"Yup that's my absolute fave." I ordered it.

"Okay I'll have the same then." She smiled.

"You don't want the drink you usually get?" I asked her.

"I trust your tase buds. So like what else has changed over the summer?" She grabbed cash from her pocket to buy.

"Nothing really I mean I'm still the same. I just like coffee now." I laughed slightly and grabbed my debit card to pay.

"Since when do you have a debit card?" Sabrina raised her eyebrow as we grabbed our drinks.

"My dad set me up with a bank account before I left. He wanted to make sure both Jamie and I had access to money in case something happened and stuff." We sat down.

"Does coffee count as an emergency?" She joked.

"No but I've put all my own money in the account now." I sipped my drink.

"You got a summer job?" Sabrina asked me.

"I did some odd jobs for the program. When class was over and group. Nothing extensive."

"Wow that's cool. Are you going to apply for jobs now that you're home?" Sabrina drank her coffee. I could tell she really wasn't into the oat milk.

"I do want to get a job before school start but I'm not sure exactly what I want to apply for." I explained.

"You should try the record store. It's always so empty in there and it could use your talent."

"I'm not looking for a job like that. I just wanna work and chill." I wanted something more mind numbing.

"So what was group? Was it part of the program?" She questioned.

"It was a group for people with mental health disorders." I said hesitantly.

"You never told me about that. We've talked over the summer." Sabrina was confused at why I kept this from her.

"I've been to a support group here before. You know that."

"I spent a lot of time this summer worried about you not having any forms of support but you were going the whole time. I don't really understand why you didn't tell me like I asked you if you were seeing a therapist and stuff but you said no." She seemed so angry.

"This isn't something that I want to share with anyone because it isn't for you or my family. It's for me and it's my journey with recovery. I'm telling you now because I feel secure in telling you." I looked at her.

"I guess I don't really understand why you feel like you shouldn't tell me. I'm happy you're recovering with support." She said taking a sip of coffee.

"Sabrina I love you and I know you care that's why you think it's as simple as I didn't tell you but that's not how it works. This is something that I've needed to do for myself to heal and that's something that is private. It's not personal." I could see the disappointment on her face and it made me mad.

"We can move on then. Tell me about the rest of your summer." She tried to change the subject.

"It was nice. I made a lot of contacts and friends." I kept drinking my coffee, almost finished.

"Did you learn a lot of stuff about music?" Sabrina asked.

"Yeah a bunch of stuff." I didn't bother explaining.

"That's cool."

"Yeah."

"I should get going. I have a zoom date with Josh." She stood up with half a cup left.

"Tell him I said hi." I said giving her a hug.


I went to the local book store to apply for a job. In group a lot of the other people shared that in keeping busy it helped their mind from going into the dark place. I know that's what helped me this summer and that's what I need. I was also enjoying spending my own money. The independence I had this summer was hard at first but I really do enjoy it.

I walked up to the counter and dinged the bell. "Hello?"

"Yes?" A guy with brown eyes and short brown hair said.

"Hi I was interested in applying for a job here." I smiled.

"You wanna work here when summer is almost over?" He asked me.

"Yeah I just got here from being in LA for awhile."

"Oh really are you going to school here?" The guy asked me.

"Yup."

"Well you're in luck because we've been rejecting high school students all summer. They always try and work for us for only a few months then they quit the whenever we tell them that they can't take off to go to some party. My dad owns the store and he promised me never to hire kids again." He laughed.

"Uh yeah of course I know they're not responsible." I panicked.

"So what school do you go to?" He asked me.

"Brookdale." I lied.

"What year? I go to monmouth."

"Freshman."

"I'm a senior." He stared at me.

"So what do you think my odds are on the job?" I asked him.

"I don't think we need any interviews. You have the job."

"Really?" I said with excitement.

"We've been looking for sometime and you seem to be competent since you are a Brookdale girl." He grinned.

"Thanks." I laughed.

"I'm Jake."

"Rowan." I smiled.

I left the book store and I walked home. I felt so awkward about going along with him thinking I was in college. I didn't know what else to do. I really wanted to work here so badly. I felt good around books in the same way I feel good playing music. It was my safe place. I thought about other book stores but there was none in walking distance to my house. I wanted nothing but my freedom to do things.

I went to dinner with my family. It was nice and fun. My grandfather had way too much wine and ended up falling asleep at the table. It was pretty funny. Once we got home we had a bunch of cake. I told my family about my new job but I begged them to not make a big deal out of it. I finally feel like things are going well at home. I just needed to make things less weird with Lucas and Sabrina. I got ready for bed and laid down with a thriller book.