Episode 8: Rivalries

Sonic was driving back from the dentist office, and boy was he mad. Why is he so mad, you might ask? It's because he was tasked with taking Tails to his dentist appointment so he can get his wisdom teeth removed.

And just like any patient who has their wisdom teeth removed, Tails has gauze in his mouth, and was acting all wonky due to the laughing gas that makes him numb to the pain. His wonky behaviors was getting on Sonic's nerves.

"The leads are weak! The leads are weak!" Tails proclaimed, fist pumping like a drunkard. "You're weak!" If Tails was acting normal, Sonic would have really socked him right about now. "Remember that movie Sonic?"

"Can't you just SHUT UP for once?!" Sonic yelled at Tails. C'mon man, you know better than to yell at Tails in the state he's in.

"But you're my best friend! My best friend in the whole wide world!" Tails was acting more and more loony with each passing second. Hopefully Sonic is able to tolerate his antics for the remainder of the ride...

...and thankfully he was able to. When the two arrived at Smash Mansion, Sonic helped Tails out of the car and escorted him to the front door. The fox was crying for no reason - a side effect of laughing gas.

Sonic: Driving Tails back to the mansion will go down as one of the worst experiences of my life! Nothing that came out of the dude's mouth ever made any sense, and he sobbed at the most unpredictable times! What's worse is that Tails inhaled so much laughing gas, that he'll act all wonky for the rest of the day...we oughta quarantine him until he's normal again!

Sonic knocked on the door, and Mr. Game & Watch answered it. Tails was drooling - another side effect of laughing gas.

"Hi mommy!" he greeted Mr. Game & Watch; the 2-D man just scratched his head in confusion. He was more accustomed to being called "daddy", back when "Call Me Daddy" by the k-pop boy band EXO was a thing. Lucina and Viridi really overkilled that song...

"...Just help me take this dude in," Sonic said. Mr. Game & Watch helped the hedgehog walk Tails inside the mansion.

"How is Tails feeling?" Isabelle approached the three. Whenever Dr. Mario isn't around, she usually serves as a de facto nurse.

"Nice to meet you again, Ms. Isabelle!" Tails eagerly shook Isabelle's paw. Almost as if he was stuck in his own fantasy world - and it's quite scary.

"Where is Lucina?" asked Sonic. Lucina is the mansion's resident caretaker. "I'm getting sick and tired of having to watch over this kid!"

"Lucina went out with Chrom for some father-daughter bonding," stated Isabelle, feeling regretful that she had to tell Sonic this information. "So it'll be a while until she comes back..."

"A while?!" Sonic grew infuriated, knowing he'll have to watch over Tails for a considerable amount of time. "Why can't you do it?"

"Sorry Sonic, but I have my hands quite full. Mario wants his back scrubbed, and apparently he wants me to..."

"Screw Mario's back, I can't stand Tails anymore!"

"I'm so dizzy, my head is spinning..." Tails just stood there dazed, rubbing his head. That laughing gas has truly worked wonders for poor Tails.

Isabelle: Sonic seemed like a viable choice to transport Tails to the dentist's office...Jacky would keep talking about how great his car is, and Tails doesn't tolerate incessant people. Could you imagine if he was in a car ride with Lloyd? Though to be honest with you, NOBODY would want to be in a car ride with Lloyd.

"Isabelle, where-a are you?" Mario called out from afar. "My back needs-a scrubbing!" No matter what is going on, regardless of priority of urgency, Mario's back HAS to be scrubbed. No human being has a back more rusty than Mario's.

"Guide Tails to your room, and monitor him there," Isabelle told Sonic as she scurried away. "He's very delicate in the state he's in, so don't mistreat him!" In a few seconds, Isabelle was gone.

"He's very delicate in the state he's in," Sonic repeated in a sardonic tone. Mr. Game & Watch gave Sonic a comforting pat on the back; the hedgehog's gonna need all the help he can get.

"Mrs. Isabelle has been assassinated!" Tails was having another one of his crying fits. "Somebody call the police station!" This is gonna be a rather long day for Sonic...


Following the Mike Tyson incident that occurred the other week, Samus and Mega Man X - under the consent of Mario - installed a security system for the mansion. This security system came with security cameras, a keypad, a free television (just for consolation), and a phone app.

"This app allows us brawlers to lock the doors of the mansion with the touch of our fingers," X showed off the app to Samus on his iPhone, which was programmed in his wrist. The many powers of being a robot. "I've already downloaded the app on Mario's phone, against his will."

"Against his will?" Samus raised an eyebrow. "He's supposed to be the man of the mansion, security should be his forte!"

"How can he be the man of the mansion if he's not man enough to write love letters to Peach?"

"...You got a point there."

X: It's just frustrating how Mario is too afraid to write Peach a single love letter, and refusing to write one just keeps biting him in the back. For instance, he had Lucas write a love letter to Peach, and the letter mentioned some stuff about Starmen and some fetus-looking alien named Giygas. Needless to say, Peach was definitely freaked out...

Meta Knight entered the kitchen and threw a rolled up piece of paper in the garbage can - and missed. The security camera in the kitchen saw this and fired a tranquilizer dart at Meta Knight. Who knew the security cameras were capable of doing that?

"Why me..." the knight wondered as he became sedated. "Iii diiid noooothing wrooooong..." His speech was slurred as a result of his sedation.

"Was that supposed to happen?" asked Samus. She almost felt bad for Meta Knight, ending up tranquilized for no reason at all.

"The security system has a 'no littering' filter," explained X. "If a camera catches anyone littering, then the camera will fire a tranquilizer dart at that person, sedating them in the process. I only installed the filter because of carefree and nonchalant guys like Pit and King Dedede." Alright, so maybe there's a good reason behind this "no littering" security thing.

"We need to get Meta Knight somewhere safe," Samus picked up Meta Knight and held him in her arms. And no, she wasn't holding him like a baby. You were probably thinking she was, too.

"Good thing I know just the place..."


Link sat at a table in the library, reading a magazine Bowser gave to him (which probably has false information). Sitting opposite from him was Zelda, reading a Hyrulian book (which has factual information). Link kept looking up from his magazine and at Zelda, and he kept doing that for a prolonged period of time. Some belligerent romantic tension coming on, perhaps?

"Nice Super Bowl party you planned," Link told the princess of Hyrule. His flirting attempt so far is getting off to a great start.

"Thank you, Link, I hardly ever get any props for planning parties or anything," smiled Zelda. So far, so good...

"And that halftime show was alright. Beyonce was the best part about it, in my opinion. Hard to believe just a few years ago, she was Feyonce..."

Link silently grumbled and shook his head at his own corny joke. Way to go, Link. Way to go.

Link: *face in his hands* Stupid joke from some stupid joke book I bought from some stupid bookstore owned by some stupid grandmother and her stupid grandchildren...I hope their bookstore goes out of business.

Zelda giggled at Link's joke - probably as a sign of sympathy - as he got up from her seat to go put the book away. Bowser and Shulk came to Link's aid; Bowser rubbed Link's shoulder, while Shulk hydrated the hero of Hyrule with some Gatorade. Link isn't seeking romantic advice from Bowser of all people, is he? Now Shulk would be a fine choice, since he's in a romantic relationship with Fiora...but Bowser? Is he out of his mind?!

"Go get her champ!" Bowser shook Link in an assuring way, returning to his hiding spot with Shulk - just when Zelda returned with a new book. Link just stared into her eyes.

"Never realized how pretty your eyes look," he smiled, sounding very stalker-like in his tone. He's really going for it.

"My eyes have always looked the same," stated Zelda. Momentum has returned on Link's side...

"Guess that makes them a sight for sore eyes..."

...and now all the momentum that Link built back up has been lost. The swordsman buried his face in his arms, too ashamed to look at Zelda. How does he expect to win Zelda's heart if he keeps acting like this?

Bowser: Link has to win Zelda's heart, he just has to! I've already had my chances with Peach, but that darn Mario keeps interfering in my romantic plans! So I've passing on any advice I gained during my attempts with Peach down to Link, and hopefully he'll utilize them well.

"Hey Zelda," Gilgamesh approached Zelda. Link glared down Gil; ain't no way he was letting him win over Zelda before he does. "Wonderful weather we're having, isn't it?"

"Given that we live in Washington, I would say so," replied Zelda. Washington is notorious for its gloomy weather - nothing but rain clouds in sight - so to have a sunny day is quite remarkable.

"K.K. Slider is having a recital tonight. Wanna come?"

"I would absolutely love to!" Why didn't Link think of asking Zelda to attend the recital with him earlier? Everything would have gone completely in his favor.

"Alright then, I'll see you later tonight," Gil responded, walking away while giving Link a smug look. He was already one step ahead of the hero of Hyrule - but Link wasn't having it.

"If you don't mind..." Link returned to his conversation with Zelda, "...can I attend the recital with you and Gil?"

Ooh! Trying to even the score! Gil turned around and looked in shock. Bowser and Shulk, still situated in their hiding places, exchanged fist bumps with one another.

"That would be lovely!" smiled Zelda. "Surely you two will get along."

"You can bet on it..." Link replied, looking smugly at Gil. Two can play at that game.


Sonic sat in his room with his roommate Tails...who was acting slightly more normal, as the effects of the laughing gas began to die down.

"What is life?" Tails rested on his bed as he pondered over this very question. "What is its significance?" Do you ever ponder over these questions, too?

"Could you please cut it out with the philosopher crap?" asked Sonic, who was playing a Shantae game on his iPhone. "I'm trying to focus here!" Pit had showed him the game, and he's been hooked ever since!

"Sorry, Sonic, I'm just...thinking out loud."

"Think out loud somewhere else, I gotta beat this game before Pit does!"

Sonic: So Pit did a bet - whoever beats Shantae: Risky's Revenge before the end of the week gets unlimited rights to the Galaga arcade machine in the arcade room! I hid Pit's cell phone in a place he'll never find it - underneath the washing machine - so he'll never beat me! Right now I have a huge advantage, and what an advantage it is!

There was a knock on the door. Sonic opened it, and saw Mega Man X and Samus; the blonde bounty hunter was holding a paralyzed Meta Knight, who was asleep. The hedgehog just looked at the three before slamming the door on them. Like Sonic is gonna "monitor" another person.

Another knock on the door. X and Samus are really persistent. Sonic sighed, and answered the door yet again.

"Yes, I can see that Meta Knight is in a paralyzed state," Sonic apathetically said. "Now do me a huge favor and leave me alone!"

Before Sonic could close the door, Samus gave the hedgehog the same stare she had given Mario, Akira, and Jacky. Just like the three men, Sonic was scared to the brim. He just might wet his pants...if he ever wore any.

"Sonic, you're going to watch over Meta Knight, and you're NOT going to fail us," she said. When Samus speaks, you listen.

"How did Meta Knight end up getting paralyzed?"

"X thought it would be a good idea to arm the security cameras with tranquilizer darts..."

"It keeps the brawlers from littering, I tell you!" X defended himself. Already the robot has received flak from fellow brawlers for his outrageous idea, but he's still comfortable about how beneficial his idea will be.

"Isabelle is always available, you know," Sonic pointed out. Why must he persist on lumping everything on Isabelle? She can't do everything by herself.

"She's still scrubbing Mario's rusty back. We've tried asking the others, but they weren't interested. We would ask the princesses, who are having their usual tea party, but Meta Knight would be too uninterested to participate. You're our last and only hope..."

Sonic groaned. He hates it when he's the last hope. People put that burden on him numerous times, and he's getting tired of it.

"If no one else is available, I can do it," sighed Sonic. So Samus handed Sonic Meta Knight...and Sonic dropped the knight on the floor, waking him up.

"Who dares wake me up from my slumber?!" Meta Knight frowned. He was no longer slurring words, but his voice sounded different. He looked up at the perpatrator, Sonic. "Sonic, you fool!"

"You were moving around too much!"

Samus: Lucina needs to hurry up on her "father-daughter bonding" time and get her scrawny butt over here as soon as she can. I fear that Sonic is gonna snap and lose it any minute now..

"Well, we'll let you be," X said, closing the door. Sonic picked up Meta Knight and placed him on the bed next to Tails.

"Dwarfs are such good people," murmured Tails. "Have you ever wanted to meet a dwarf?" he asked Meta Knight.

"Stay away from me..." responded Meta Knight. Not only is he paralyzed, but he also has to deal with the likes of a disillusioned Tails. What did he possibly do to deserve this?

"Sonic I have something to tell you..."

"Just tell me man, just tell me!" Sonic threw a fit. He has officially lost it. "What is it that you want to tell me, that is SO important, I have to pause my game just so I can give a crap to listen?!"

"My bottom lip feels very numb."

Sonic's eyes twitched when Tails said this. The hedgehog was oh so close to beating the Shantae game - by the time he beats the final boss, Pit would have already found his phone under the washing machine, which cannot be moved without Mr. Game & Watch's consent - and Tails's random remark deterred him from winning his bet with Pit.

"TAILS, ONE MORE PEEP OUT OF YOU, AND I WILL FEED YOU TO A HUNGRY DIALGA WITHOUT A SINGLE REGRET," Sonic threatened. This would be Tails's only warning; better keep his mouth shut, unless he wants to suffer the exaggerated consequences.

"...Just thinking out loud again. Heh heh..."


"C'mon, Pit, ya gotta check out this new room, it's legit!" Knuckles said to Pit as he walked the angel through the halls. The echidna redesigned one of the mansion's rooms, and he wanted Pit to get a first-hand look.

"I'm not so sure about this..." Pit was growing concerned. Usually he would be the first to do things - the first to read Robin's egregious love poems, the first to serve as Lucario's living punching bag, and the first to taste test Palutena's absolutely stupendous carrot stew, which gave everyone including Pit explosive diarrhea. Instances like these always end up bad for Pit, and what Knuckles has in store won't be any different.

The two arrived at a door with a heart on it. Pit investigated this door, wondering what could be behind it.

"Isn't this the paddling room?" he asked. The location of the room and how the door looked seemed familiar to Pit...and for all the wrong reasons.

"Used to be," replied Knuckles. "Mario believed having a paddling room was a stupid and immature idea, and he forced the Black Knight to tear this room down. So then I thought, 'Why not renew the room and make it better?'. And I thought you would be the perfect guy to see what this room's all about!"

"Did Mario approve the Black Knight's idea of a paddling room?"

"You know how Mario can be; he flip-flops more than a pancake."

Knuckles opened the door to the room, which was dark. Pit had a frightened look on his face...he's not scared of the dark, is he?

"In ya go!" Knuckles shoved Pit into the room, and closed the door. In the room, Pit saw portraits of himself, hanging about, and in the center, he found a table with a red cover, a lit candle in the center...

...and Viridi sitting at the opposite end. Pit gulped nervously.

Knuckles: The dark room premise? Rouge's idea. A table with a lit candle? Rouge again. And the hanging portraits of Pit? Rouge once more. Darn girl did the same thing to me a long time ago, so I incorporated what she did into the room. Yep, I guess you can say that there's a lot you can learn from in a romantic relationship...

"Come take a seat, Pit..." Viridi smiled romantically, motioning to the empty chair. She has Pit where she wants him!

"I'm not your boyfriend!" Pit bolted for the door - but where was it? It's so dark, he has no idea where he's going!

"Now, now, my loving Pit, we have no time for your worrying. Just sit in this chair, and all will become clear..."

"I gotta get out of here! Kirby! Palutena! Where are you guys?!" Let's face it, Pit would not survive without the two people he mentioned. You know deep down it's true.

"Please, sit down Pit, and I'll explain everything that needs to explain."

Pit reluctantly headed to the dim-lit table, and took a seat. At any minute, when Viridi least expects it, the angel would bolt out of the room, and head for safety.

"So Pit, what qualities do you look for in a girl?" asked Viridi. A very simplistic question; Pit should have no issue answering this.

"Qualities such as what?" Pit raised an eyebrow, feeling panicked. "Girls shouldn't have any qualities, they're all perfect just the way they are!" What a profound statement by Pit! Strong enough to charm any lady, even Viridi.

"So you're saying I'M perfect?" Viridi gleamed at Pit's statement.

"...Yeah, sure, you're perfect in every sense of the word!" Pit's burying himself in a gigantic hole with every word that's coming out of his mouth.

"Does that mean...you'll be my boyfriend?"

"Heck no, you must be crazy!"

Viridi grabbed Pit by the collar and pulled him to her face, looking into his eyes lovingly AND angrily. The Goddess of Nature was turning full tsundere!

"Now you look here, you adorable little twit! I've devoted too much of my time to win your heart over, and I will not persist on stopping unless you do so! Either you decide to be my boyfriend, or I'll leave you to waste in the Reset Bomb Forest forever! Certainly you know how the reset bombs work, and what they are capable of..."

"Please, I beg of you, don't take me there!" Pit begged.

"Then choose to be my boyfriend!"

"Whatever you say..."

"Give me a definite answer!"

"Yes, yes, I'll be your boyfriend!"

"Good boy!" Viridi released her hold on Pit and tapped him on the head, and then kissing him on the cheek. Pit whimpered like a baby.

Pit: What have I gotten myself into...I'm simply not cut for this boyfriend thing! How come she never falls for Dark Pit, he's much more attractive than I am! Wait that didn't come out right...


Once his rusty back was scrubbed to perfection, thanks to his assistant Isabelle, Mario put on his trademark overalls and hat. You can't mistake him for anyone else in that attire. And if you do...then you're just plain ignorant.

"So fresh and so-a clean!" the plumber grinned as he went on his merry way. While he was walking, he tripped over a certain object. The object in question? Ness's baseball bat. Mario became enraged real quick.

"I heard a very nasty fall!" Isabelle appeared and tended to Mario. "Are you okay, Sir Mario?"

"Maybe if-a I hadn't tripped-a over this baseball bat, then-a I would be okay!" frowned Mario. "Dumb Ness left-a his bat lying on the floor all-a willy nilly! Where-a is he?"


Mario and Isabelle found Ness in his room, playing Chutes and Ladders with Lucas. Is that game even popular these days? Board games like Monopoly and the Game of Life are taking attention away from lesser known games, and it's quite tragic to think about.

"Ness, why-a did you leave this in the hallway?" Mario threw the boy's baseball bat at the floor, and Ness began acting all suspect.

"Forgot to put it away after that home run derby," he chuckled nervously. Ness was involved in a home run derby with Diddy Kong, to see who can score the most home runs, and Ness won handily. Donkey Kong opted to participate, but he wasn't allowed to, since his strength would give him a very unfair advantage.

"And what's-a with all this junk in-a this room?" Mario looked around and saw baseball memorabilia, a kantana, some denchers, a boomerang, a flamethrower for whatever reason, and even Mr. Saturn, who was chilling atop a shelf. "Why do you have this stuff anyway?"

"Same reason why you have pictures of Peach hanging in your closet."

Mario's face became red like a tomato - and you know the emotion that causes this discoloration: rage.

Ness: I think I just sealed my death wish...

"Calm down, Mario, Ness didn't inherently mean it..." Isabelle tried to console Mario, but the plumber was too furious to be consoled.

"Mark-a my words Ness, I'll ensure that-a every little thing in-a this room, including Mr. Saturn, will-a be out of this-a mansion by the end-a of the day! Goodbye!"

Mario stormed out of the room, Isabelle following along, slamming the door behind him.

"Nice going, Ness..." Lucas frowned at his best friend. Mario in an angry mood mostly results in bad morale among the brawlers.

"Eh, he'll get over it soon..." Ness shrugged comfortably. "Or so I hope..."

Outside the room, Mario was seething. Some repercussions were about to be made.

"Isabelle, get the front-a yard ready..." the musthached man told his assistant. "It's-a time for a yard-a sale!"


"Yo, Fox, check it out!" Falco hurriedly ran into the gaming room, laptop in hand, to show his buddy Fox something. The pilot was busy relaxing in a reclining chair.

"What's up dude?" asked Fox, sounding intrigued. Given how frantic Falco was, Fox's interest was greatly peaking.

"So I was searching through Isabelle's laptop..."

"Why would you even do that for?"

"Name me one instance Isabelle hasn't left her laptop on with her forgetful self."

"...Alright, continue."

"As I was navigating around, I saw a program full...of secrets!"

Fox's eyes bulged out of his sockets when Falco said this. A program full of secrets - Isabelle, that sly dog! (no pun intended)

Fox: Program full of secrets, eh? Isabelle definitely has some dirty stuff in there! Bet it's full of romantic confessions for K.K. Slider - wouldn't be surprised one bit if she actually likes him.

"Only problem though..." Falco started to sound discontent. "...the program requires a password."

"Aw what?" Fox's hopes were almost given up. The password was the pilots' only roadblock to finding out about Isabelle's inner thoughts. "Tell me there's a password hint!"

"Thankfully there is a hint. But I'm afraid it might be some sort of initials. It reads, 'O.W.A.'..."

"O.W.A..." Fox pondered over this password hint for quite a bit. This hint was so simplistic, yet so hard to figure out... "Why not ask other people and see if they know what the password hint entails?"

"Good thinking." Falco scanned the gaming room, looking for somebody to ask, and his eyes fell upon Rosalina (and Luma) and Bayonetta, who were sitting in the far corner of the room having their girl talk. The two pilots confronted the girls.

"Hello boys," Bayonetta greeted, charming and seductive as she knows how. "You two look intrigued today."

"Isabelle left her laptop open, and while I was going through her stuff..." Falco explained...

"You noisy bird!" ...only to be interjected by Rosalina. "Put that laptop back where it belongs, you have no reason to glance at Isabelle's stuff! Sure she is absent-minded, and prone to leaving things unattended, but still..."

"Hear Falco out, just this once!" Fox convinced. "He found a program with secrets inside, and we need a password to unlock it!"

"No way are we invading Isabelle's private space. Isn't that right, Bayonetta?"

"Secrets - especially coming from someone like Isabelle - sound very intriguing..." Bayonetta stroked her chin. Her demented smile could mean one thing - she was on board with Fox's and Falco's password hunt.

"You're not willing to help those two out, are you?"

"An Umbra Witch always helps out those of high interest...Let's take a look-see at the password..."

Rosalina: Poor Isabelle...if Fox and Falco prove successful, then they'll ruin her reputation by announcing whatever secrets they find to the entire mansion...
Luma: Don't fret, Mama, you can still punish them for their efforts!
Rosalina: And how do you expect me to do that?
Luma: *motions over to the Kongs playing billards*
Rosalina: Oh, I see...

Falco showed Bayonetta the password hint, and the Umbra Witch scrutinized it for a long time. The initials "O.W.A" sounded so familiar, yet she can't seem to put a finger on it...

"This is one tough cookie to crack," she remarked. "I'll think over this password situation for the rest of the day; you boys go wander off, perhaps somebody else can be of great assistance."

"Oh well," Fox shrugged. "Thanks anyway." He and Falco departed the gaming room. More brawlers within the mansion were about to be interrogated.

"You're truly terrible," Rosalina shook her head at Bayonetta.

"Truly is an understatement, I should say," Bayonetta snarled. Indeed it was, if you truly think about it.


Sonic did it. He finally did it! He beat Shantae: Risky's Revenge, and won the bet with Pit. The Galaga arcade machine was all his now.

"Aw yeah, I'm so awesome!" Sonic gloated. Tails and Meta Knight just stared at the hedgehog, both thinking he's celebrating too much.

"Beating an iPhone game is nothing to be overzealous about, Sonic," said Tails. And he was right.

"Shut your trap hole and let me enjoy my greatness!"

"What greatness..." Meta Knight scoffed. Of all the people in the mansion, why did X and Samus think it would be a good idea to leave him with Sonic? Someone impatient and short-tempered like him shouldn't be the one to monitor anyone else.

"Time to gloat in Pit's face!" Gloating is the only thing that will make Sonic feel better about his victory.

"But what about us?" asked Tails. Sonic can't just leave the two unattended; what if Tails says something that makes Meta Knight feel some type of way, and the knight thrusts his sword into Tails's chest mustering all his strength, effectively killing him?! Who knows what Meta Knight is fully capable of, despite his paralysis!

"Don't worry, Tails. When I had to use the bathroom earlier, I found the perfect guy to take over. Luigi, come on in!"

The green-clad plumber nervously entered the room; in his hands was a storybook. Tails and Meta Knight were hoping he won't be telling any stories.

Luigi: Now is the perfect time to redeem myself. King Dedede thinks I'm not the authoritarian type, but I'll surely prove him wrong. Besides, who is he to talk, he abuses his own power by letting his Waddle Dees defecate all over the mansion! Says that they're not "compatible enough" to use a toilet...give me a break!

"Luigi here will monitor you both while I gloat in front of Pit and make him feel more bad than he already is," explained Sonic. "Hope you three have fun!" The hedgehog ran out of the room at the speed of light, in search of Pit.

"I can't feel my face..." Tails rubbed his face, feeling sore. First his lip was feeling numb, and now his face has succumbed to the numbness.

"You got it!" Luigi, thinking Tails was referring to The Weeknd, pulled out a boombox from his nonexistent pocket (kudos for managing to stick it in there) and pressed the play button. "Can't Feel My Face" played out of the speakers, and Luigi danced to the song, much to Tails's and Meta Knight's chagrin.

"This is all your fault," Meta Knight glared at the yellow fox, who chuckled innocently. What fate could be possibly worse than being paralyzed? Having to watch Luigi's horrendous dance moves, of course.


Outside the Smash Mansion, Mario was having a yard sale, and the place was poppin'. But the plumber wasn't alone - Kirby, Cloud, Lucario, Robin, Bowser Jr, Wolf and Dark Pit offered to help...

"So how did Mario bribe you guys to work the yard sale?" Lucario asked his fellow workers.

"He offered to loan me $500 in cash," said Wolf. Again, working only for the money...

"He promised me some cooking lessons," said Robin, who no longer has to enter the kitchen with a chaperon.

"He gave me free tickets to the aquarium downtown," said Dark Pit. Wonder if he'll take Pit to the aquarium with him...

"He took my Nintendo 3DS and refused to give it back unless I work for him!" said Bowser Jr. Is Mario really that desperate?

"Ooh wah!" Kirby held up a giant slice of strawberry cake he was eating. Very easy to entice Kirby with food.

"Eh, I decided to work here on my own accord," Cloud coolly replied. Dude is always chill...and at times apathetic.

Cloud: Two major reasons why I'm working at the yard sale; one, Mario might get in over his head and may require an ego check, and two, he's selling some stuff that he shouldn't be selling.

Indeed, Cloud was right; some of the items Mario was selling included Ness's baseball bat, Snake's spy gear, the Wii Fit Trainer's soccer ball, Lucina's mask, and Ganondorf's Sword of Sages - which was being sold to a customer right now.

"Not my Sword of Sages!" Ganondorf ran to the customer and grabbed his sword, staring the customer down.

"Watcha doin', I was-a making a transaction here!" frowned Mario.

"Who told you to sell my sword to this craven?"

"My-a conscience did. Now give-a it back!"

Mario and Ganondorf were embroiled in a tug-of-war over the Sword of Sages. Many of the customers videotaped this on their cell phones, being able to cherish a video of a plumber and a Demon Lord fighting over a sword forever.

"A book of romantic poems?" a customer picked up a scrapbook and read it out loud. "The sword of love that dispels all enemies...and draws your loved ones closer...Who writes this dumb crap?!"

"I write that dumb crap!" Robin confronted the customer, snatching his book. "Mario why are you trying to sell my book?!"

"Darn-a it, I was-a hoping you didn't notice!" pouted Mario, still in the tug-of-war match with Ganondorf. He lost when Ganondorf pulled the Sword of Sages towards him, and the force was strong enough to knock Mario back.

Robin: I thought that hiding my book of love poems in the cupboard of my room would be a good idea, since the key to the cupboard is stashed underneath my pillow. Mario must have found the key while he was pillaging through the mansion for things to put out on the yard sale...

Mario: Foolish Robin, when-a will he ever learn? It's not-a good to hide stuff underneath your-a pillow - that's-a how I learned the tooth-a fairy doesn't exist! Hid my loose-a teeth underneath my pillow, and-a what did I get? Goose-a eggs!

"The way you're running this yard sale, it's downright appalling!" said Ganondorf.

"Like you can-a do any better..." Mario scoffed. He was confident that he was doing his yard sale the right way, though the workers don't necessarily share that sentiment.

"I'll give it a shot! Your yard sale is going down!" Ganondorf marched into the mansion, ready to do some serious yard sale work.


Ganondorf's adversary, Link, was still on the hunt for Zelda's heart. Zelda had just finished her tea party with Peach, and was getting her hair done in the beauty spa.

"Your hair looks so nice!" the Wii Fit Trainer, who was doing Zelda's hair, complimented the princess of Hyrule's lovely locks.

"Ah, don't mention it," replied Zelda. "Being the monarch that I am, hair maintenance is of the utmost priority."

"If only I can get my hair straightened like yours..." moaned the female Inkling, who was present in the spa.

Female Inkling: Us Inklings don't have hair, like usual humans do; instead we're stuck with these dumb tentacles atop of our heads! But Inkopolis News host Marie, of all people, has a freaking bob for hair! A bob! Simply unfair!
Palutena: *walking past the Inkling* They are still tentacles, you know...
Female Inkling: It's just stupid! Stupid, stupid, STUPID!

Link entered the spa, grinning like he was up to something - and he was.

"Hey Zelda..." he said to the princess. "Guess who already reserved seats for K.K. Slider's recital...this guy!" Link proudly puffed his chest, awaiting Zelda's response.

"That's nice, Link, but Gil reserved seats for the three of us already, at the front row," responded Zelda. Link snapped his fingers in disgust; his nemesis Gil had beat him to the punch. But he thought of an offer that would hopefully please Zelda.

"Gil might have reserved seats, but he didn't reserve any snacks!"

"Oh but he did - he asked K.K. Slider if he could set up a snack bar, and he got his approval!"

"Seriously?! That guy..."

Link grunted as he marched angrily out of the spa Gil was a few steps ahead of him - and he didn't like it one bit.

"Never saw Link this angry before..." remarked the Wii Fit Trainer.

"Yeah..." Zelda bowed her head in sadness. Did she incidentally upset Link?


Awaiting outside the spa - giving the impression that they're creepers - were Bowser and Shulk. When Link marched out of the spa, the two surrounded the swordsman and bombarded him with a slew of questions.

"So how did it go?"

"Did she say yes?"

"Were you nervous at all?"

"ENOUGH!" Link shouted at the top of his lungs. "I've had it with you two!"

"Look man, we're just trying to help!" stated Shulk.

"Trying to help?! You couldn't at least reserve seats, or think about getting some snacks?! Gil has done both of those things! Some help you guys are!"

"How were we supposed to know what Gil did? We were just giving you suggestions!"

"Yeah Link, you need to chill out, it's not like Zelda actually likes you or anything," Bowser said, before realizing the words that just came out of his mouth. He had covered his mouth with his hands, but the damage was already dealt.

"Well you know what Bowser? I don't need you, and I don't need your 'student' to win Zelda's heart!"

"What are you trying to say?"

"We're done, Bowser. We're through! No more of your dumb classes again!" Link walked away. Little did he know that ditching Bowser for good would be one of the greatest decisions he ever made.

Bowser: Pfft, I don't need Link anyways, he can just carry on all by himself, but if he ever needs any good advice, I hope he doesn't come crying to me! At least I have my man Shulk around...


There were now two yard sales going on - one run by Mario, and the other by Ganondorf. Three of Mario's workers - Robin, Lucario, and Dark Pit - went to go work for Ganondorf after learning that Mario was selling their stuff - more or less, the stuff they don't want to be sold.

"Ganondorf is-a doing better than-a me?" Mario observed that the demon lord's yard sale was performing better than his, as dozens of people were flanking about. "How-a is this possible?"

"Maybe it's because Ganondorf is selling immaterial stuff that the brawlers don't use?" stated Cloud. While Mario was selling a soccer ball, a baseball bat, and other items the brawlers typically use in their battles, Ganondorf was selling Wario's golf bat, Villager's bass mount, and other items that were old and unused.

Ganondorf: So far my yard sale is going along smoothly...ever since I set up shop, Mario has accumulated a meager amount of customers, while I keep raking in the dough! Who needs rupees when you have cold hard cash rolling in?

"Our overall sales has jumped through the roof!" exclaimed Dark Pit, who was wearing hipster glasses and reading a calculator. Hipster glasses? Calculator? Oh dear... "We have reached over $400 in sales!"

"Ha ha!" Ganondorf laughed, in a presumably evil way. "Take that, Mario!" The plumber glared his competitor down. But Mario knew the perfect ploy to draw customers to his side.

"Everything's half-a off!" Mario announced. A great number of customers flocked over to Mario's yard sale. The plumber smugly smiled as Ganondorf gritted his teeth.

"All items are 75 percent off!" the demon lord announced. People then flocked over to his yard sale. It was now an all-out yard sale war brewing between Mario and Ganondorf - Cloud knew it was bound to happen anytime soon.


"Wanna go out on a date tonight?" Captain Falcon was flirting with Palutena in the longue. Like all the other female brawlers, Palutena was getting annoyed by the race car driver. She was hoping Bayonetta would show up and shoot Falcon in the leg, sending him to the hospital like she did a few weeks back.

"Immortals like myself cannot go out with mere mortals," Palutena explained. For the longest, she has told Falcon this information, but when does he ever listen?

"In that case, why not go window shopping? Not exactly a date if you ask me, but we still get to spend time together..."

"Lady Palutena, I have a dire situation on my hands!" Pit ran into the lounge, panting once he came to a halt.

"What is it Pit?" Whenever Pit has a situation, Palutena usually assumes it's along the lines of something like a clogged toilet.

"Viridi forced me to be her boyfriend! She's in love with me, and apparently she wants me to love her back!"

"Aw, how sweet, you two would make the perfect couple!"

"Yeah, kiddo, sure I wanted Toon Link to be Viridi's boyfriend, but I had a feeling she had a soft spot for you!" grinned Captain Falcon.

"But I can't be in a relationship with her!" Pit stressed out. "She's a freak, a freak I tell you!"

"Pit stop that nonsense!" scolded Palutena. Captain Falcon was laughing uncontrollably - look up the word "freak" in the Urban Dictionary, and you'll see why Falcon is laughing so hard.

Captain Falcon: *still laughing* Pit calling Viridi a freak...never thought I would hear that!

"It's okay to be in love, Pit," Palutena said to Pit. "There's no shame in being a boyfriend or anything."

"But Viridi of all people?" moaned Pit.

"Maybe she'll come around if you commit to your relationship. She might be at K.K.'s recital tonight; you should go talk to her, and get to know her better!"

"Eh, I'll do it, but only for you, Lady Palutena."

"Sorry Pit, but the bet is OVER!" Sonic entered the lounge, and began to gloat in the angel's face. "I beat the Shantae game, and the Galaga arcade machine is all mine!"

"No fair, I didn't even get a chance to play that game! You didn't hide my cell phone...did you?"


"Here you go, sir - a cell phone that Mario is selling for some reason!" Bowser Jr sold Pit's cell phone to a customer. Mario had found the cellular device underneath the washing machine, and believed that selling it would result in a huge profit.

"Now I have two cellular devices!" exclaimed the customer. Why would he need two?! "Thanks, man!" the customer went on his merry way.

"Free Pikachu and-a Pichu for sale! Two Pokemon for-a one price!" announced Mario, who had the two mouse Pokemon on the table. Yes, he was getting so desperate, he would go as far as selling two of the brawlers for cash. Anything to beat his rival Ganondorf.

"You can't just sell Pokemon like that!" Red the Pokemon Trainer confronted Mario. "They have to be in a Poke Ball!"

"That requires too much-a work!" Seriously Mario? All you have to do is throw a Poke Ball at Pikachu and Pichu, and in a few seconds, they'll be caught. Simple as that.

Red: It's official, Mario's completely lost it. He was already crazy originally, trying to sell our belongings to strangers, but when Ganondorf started his own yard sale, Mario has gone on the deep end.

"I'm taking these two back to the Pokemon sanctuary," Cloud went to the table to fetch the Pokemon, but was stopped by Mario.

"I've-a had enough of your-a moralistic suggestions!" said the plumber, grabbing Pikachu and Pichu. "These Pokemon are staying with me!"

"Pika-CHHHUUUU!" Pikachu and Pichu used Thunderbolt on Mario, shocking him. Serves him right for putting him up for sale.

"Mama mia..." Mario uttered as he was covered in soot.

"Heh heh heh, what a maroon," Ganondorf chuckled after watching what happened to Mario. His yard sale was going along smoothly...

"Yo, Ganondorf, why you selling my towel?!" Doc Louis confronted the Demon Lord. Dude can't live without his white towel, it's a minor trademark of his.

"One man's trash is another man's treasure."

"You sayin' my towel is trash?! Oh man, you gonna get it now!" Doc Louis threw up his dukes. "Let's throw them hands!"

Soon the people at Mario's yard sale went over to Ganondorf's - just to see the Demon Lord fight. But Ganondorf wouldn't budge.

"Lucario, Dark Pit, take him away," he commanded. The aura Pokemon and the angel did as they were told.

"I'm gonna get my towel back, just you wait and see!" Doc Louis vowed. Lucina and Chrom showed up, returning from their father-daughter bonding, and saw the huge crowds.

"Two yard sales going on, eh?" said Chrom. "Very interesting..."

"My mask!" Lucina saw that Bowser Jr was selling a customer her mask. The swordswoman swooped in at the nick of time to retrieve her mask. "Why would you sell something like this?!" She scolded Bowser Jr.

"Don't scold me, scold Mario!" attested Bowser Jr. "He's the one who put all these items for sale!"

Lucina: I try not to let my mask out of my sight...especially after that Wario incident. He used it to pick his nose! Those giant fingers of his could have done it for him, but he said that my mask was "more efficient"...you won't believe the excessive hours I spent sanitizing my mask, it was all covered in mucus... *shudders*

"Mario..." Lucina glared down Mario, who felt concerned for his life.

"I'm just...gonna go now..." the customer who was about to purchase Lucina's mask slowly backed away, before running off.


Fox's and Falco's search for the password to the program on Isabelle's laptop led them to Marth's room. The Hero King was busy looking for his stuff - most of which were likely sold at Mario's yard sale.

"No way I'm helping you two," Marth told the pilots. "Whatever Isabelle has stored on her laptop is for nobody's eyes but her."

"Always knew you weren't fun..." Falco shook his head. Marth isn't fun because he values privacy? "Let's go, Fox..."

The next person the two pilots asked was Takamaru, who they encountered in the hallway.

"Try Google Password!" he suggested. "Find answer there!"

Takamaru: Me use Google to meet girls online! Google very smart, very thoughtful yes!

"Good thinking, Takamaru, let's try it," Fox got his cell phone out and googled "O.W.A". Outlook Web Access was the first thing that popped up. "Doubt Isabelle would use 'Outlook Web Access' as a legit password." Fox put his phone back. "Thanks for the help, Maru."

"My job just doing!" Now he's scrambling words...seesh.

Dunban was the next person the pilots consulted. They found him in the cafe, reading a newspaper.

"So you want me to figure out the password hint, so you can use the password to log into the program and discover Isabelle's secrets," Dunban said after the story was told to him. He sounded a bit skeptical, mainly because he knew Fox and Falco shouldn't even be bothering with Isabelle's laptop in the first place.

"More or less," Falco nodded. He doesn't know why, but he feels as if they're close to getting the password...

"Hand me the laptop, I'll try and work this out."

So Falco handed Isabelle's laptop to Dunban. The Homs just sat there for a while...and when the pilots least expected it, got up and ran out of the cafe. Fox and Falco ran after him.


The day was winding down, and Ganondorf's yard sale was a rousing success, as the Demon Lord accumulated over $1000 in cash. However, the same couldn't be said for Mario - after learning that her mask was being sold, Lucina retrieved all of the brawlers' items that were sold, and gave the customers their money back. Mario looked at his jar of money, which was now empty, and sighed.

"Hope you enjoy the taste of defeat, Mario!" Ganondorf taunted the plumber as he headed back inside the mansion, holding an overfilled jar of money. Robin, Lucario, and Dark Pit were following him. And boy were they glad that they worked for the demon lord.

Lucario: Gotta hand it to Ganondorf, he's quite the salesman. He's not gonna berate people for refusing to buy an item he wants you to buy, nor would he do over-the-top things to attract customers - like putting Pokemon up for sale, for instance. Still can't believe that Mario was trying to sell Pikachu and Pichu away...as the old saying goes, money is the root of all evil.

"Y'all coming to see my recital?" K.K. Slider asked Mario and his workers.

"We would love too!" exclaimed Bowser Jr. "Right Mario?" The plumber was too disappointed to care.

"It starts in a few. Hopefully I'll see you dudes there!" the hippie dog departed, and Peach showed up. Mario no longer looked disappointed, and started acting all content. He's always like this whenever Peach's around.

"Hi Mario!" greeted the Mushroom Kingdom princess. "Chrom said you and Ganondorf were having a yard sale."

"Indeed, we-a were, but Ganondorf raised more-a money than I did!" pouted Mario. "Lucina had the nerve-a to retrieve all the stuff I-a was selling!"

"Stuff such as...?" Mario would then explain to Peach what he was selling. "Mario, those are very crucial and important items, why would you sell them?!"

"I tried to warn him about it, but he just wouldn't listen," stated Cloud. Mario was too in over his head to heed Cloud's warnings.

"Ness was-a a leaving his stuff-a about in the mansion, and I thought-a it would be a good idea to-a sell his stuff and everyone else's!" explained Mario. "This yard-a sale will teach-a him a lesson in leaving things-a lying all over the place!"

"Yet he was in no way involved with the yard sale to begin with..."

"...He will learn his lesson indirectly!"

"Mario you bozo!" King Dedede confronted Mario. "Trying to sell my NME cell phone...what were you thinking?!"

"I bet you that-a phone doesn't even work-a anymore! Let-a me show you, hand over the phone!"

So King Dedede gave Mario the NME cell phone, and inadvertently pressed a button that dialed Customer Service - perhaps Dedede's only buddy in the world.

"Hello, Customer Service, how may I help you?" the salesman's voice was heard on the phone.

"This dumb-a thing still works?" Mario looked surprised.

"Well if it isn't Mario!" Customer Service exclaimed after hearing Mario's voice. "How ya doing man? I still have that glass statue of Peach if you're wondering - the one you placed an order on earlier today. So when you're gonna man up and write a love letter to Peach? Those kiddies can't write those letters for you forever, you know! Peach doesn't want to hear the same crap over and over again about some alien invasion! I would continue chatting, but I gotta go take a shower - you don't know what's it like being a salesman. Smell ya later!"

Customer Service ended the call, and Mario had a mortified look on his face. He turned his face towards Peach, who was tearing up. She cried as she ran away, covering her face in her hands. Poor girl...

"I'm just gonna...go now..." Bowser Jr quietly left the scene. King Dedede and Cloud both followed suit, leaving Mario by himself. Now would be the perfect time for the plumber to recollect his thoughts, and think about what he has done.

Cloud: Should I have deterred King Dedede from giving the phone to Mario? Though I would have, Mario would probably argue with me about it. And in spite of how much I would try to reason with him, he wouldn't listen. In fact, he never listened during the entire yard sale.


Tails was no longer affected by the laughing gas, and Meta Knight was no longer paralyzed - meaning that the two are now fully capacitated! However, they were still under the watch of Luigi, who was trying his best to entertain the two through his singing/dancing...

"Para bailar la bamba, para bailar la bamba, se necesita una poca de gracia, una poca de gracia pa mi pa ti..." the plumber sang while he was dancing to the song on the boombox. The dancing looked extremely awkward, though.

"Someone please save us..." begged Meta Knight. He and Tails have seen enough.

Luigi: I had-a no idea what I was-a singing back there, but I heard-a the song while I was surfing through the radio-a stations, and I thought it-a sounded tight!

"I'm back!" Sonic returned to the room, much to the delight of Meta Knight and Tails. "Sorry I took so long - I had to help Pit find his cell phone after I hid it from him, but Mario apparently tried to sell it at his yard, and Lucina tracked down the cell phone and returned it to Pit. You're off the hook, Luigi!"

"Awww but-a I was having so-a much fun with these two..." Luigi moaned. Meta Knight and Tails just looked at each other; Luigi was more annoying and weird than he was fun. "You guys coming to K.K. Slider's recital?"

"Will there be chili dogs?" Sonic won't attend if there's no chili dogs, it's his favorite food.

"I think-a so..."

"Sweet! I'll be there!"


After chasing Dunban throughout the mansion, Fox and Falco finally cornered the Homs, holding Isabelle's laptop against his chest, in an empty room.

"You'll never get this back!" vowed Dunban, who apparently thinks pressing the laptop harder against him will do anything.

"Fox...tickle him," commanded Falco.

"With pleasure..." Fox went up to Dunban and tickled him. The Homs was laughing as he dropped Isabelle's laptop on the floor; Falco grabbed it just in time and opened the laptop.

Then Geno entered the empty room, wondering what all the commotion was, and saw Fox tickling Dunban. It's safe to say the star warrior feels slightly unnerved by what he was seeing.

"Not even gonna ask..." Geno exited the room, but he didn't get that far from the door before Falco consulted him.

"Hey Geno, buddy ol' pal, Fox and I are trying to find the password for this program on Isabelle's laptop, but the password hint has got us stumped," the avian pilot explained. "Here's the password hint..." He then showed Geno the initials "O.W.A".

"'O.W.A'?" Geno examined the password hint. "Oh man, that's easy, it's the initials for One Winged Angel, Sephiroth!"

Geno: Being owned by Square Enix certainly has its perks. I know more information about Final Fantasy than everyone here! Except for Cloud, maybe...

"Of course!" Falco entered the swordsman's name, and activated the program. "Yo, Fox, we're in!"

"Awesome!" Fox met up with Falco, as the two entered the program to read Isabelle's secrets...which weren't as juicy as they thought. "I get side-tracked very easily...?" Fox read one of these secrets.

"I can write with my left hand also?!" Falco read another. "Man these secrets are bogus!" He threw the laptop behind him, and it unexpectedly landed in the hands of Bowser, who was walking with Shulk. The Koopa King read the secrets out loud.

"What kind of secrets are these?!" Bowser questioned. He scrolled down to the bottom of a page...

..and his eyes widened. He grinned evilly; evidently he found a very shocking secret that he plans to tell everyone.

"Oh yeah, I'm definitely telling this to the people at the recital!" he exclaimed. Yup...

"Telling people what?" asked Shulk. Bowser showed him the secret; the Homs gasped in horror. "Bowser you wouldn't do such a thing!" Has Shulk forgotten that Bowser is a villain? Performing malicious things is his specialty.

"I would do such a thing, and there's nothing you can do to stop me!"

"Well you know what, Bowser? We're through! No more teachings from you ever again! No way I'm gonna follow a malicious guy like you!"

"Your loss, kid!" Bowser ran away with the laptop. "Have fun without me!"

"Should we...go after him?" inquired Falco. This whole was his fault.

"Might as well," shrugged Fox. The two pilots chased after Bowser.


K.K. Slider's recital, which took place in the in the lecture hall (because why not?) was set to begin. Viridi asked Gil if she could run the snack bar, and she wanted to do it for one reason, and one reason only...

"Pit HAS to eat this," Knuckles showed Viridi a heart-shaped cake on the table. Rouge had given the cake to him after the echidna explained to her the situation involving Pit and Viridi. "Once he consumes any portion of the cake, regardless of the size, he must be facing you, and in an instant, he'll immediately fall in love with you. No more of the 'I'm not your boyfriend' crap - you'll love Pit, and Pit will love you back. Capiche?"

"A cake that makes the person love someone at first sight..." Viridi pondered. "Sounds absolutely splendid! This just has to work!"

Viridi: I will go as far as burning this wretched mansion down if Pit refuses to love me back! No other boy is more perfect than Pit; he's like the butter to my toast...the chocolate to my vanilla...you know what I mean!

Mario entered the lecture hall, and saw Peach silently crying to herself all alone. He approached the princess and sat next to her. This can't possibly end well.

"Peach may-a I speak with you for a minute?" he asked.

"Don't talk to me!" Peach turned the other way and continued sobbing.

"Look-a Peach, I know you're sad-a about those love letters - the ones I had-a Ness and Lucas write to you. Truth of the matter, I had-a them do that task, because...because I have a strong-a fear."

"A strong fear of what?"

"A strong-a fear...of upsetting you."

Peach stopped crying and turned to face Mario, giving him a "You really mean that?" look. And clearly he really means it.

"I didn't write a love-a letter because I was afraid I might-a say something that will-a upset you," Mario went on. "After all, you are quite-a sensitive when it comes to feelings..."

"Oh, Mario..."

"And the yard-a sale? My reason for doing it was-a not only to clean-a out the mansion...but to raise-a some money so I could-a buy you a glass statue of yourself as a Valentine's Day-a gift. I placed-a the order for the statue via King Dedede's NME cell phone today, and tried to sell the phone-a to get rid of the evidence."

"Aww, Mario, you didn't have to go through all of that, especially for Valentine's Day. With you, every day can be considered Valentine's Day!"

"You're-a right," Mario grinned after hearing Peach's lovely statement. "But now I don't-a have the money to afford-a the statue..."

"Yeah, about that..."

Ganondorf approached Mario. The demon lord felt somewhat delighted, and he rarely feels that way unless he's committing an act of evil.

"The money I accumulated during the yard sale..." he said. "...I used it to get that glass statue you ordered."

"Really?" Mario's eyes bulged. Ganondorf doing acts of kindness? Is this real life?!

"King Dedede told me everything."

King Dedede: Man I'm such a great guy...but everyone else doesn't want to think that...but let them believe what they wanna believe!

"Also, the Kongs ran into Bowser while they were looking for Fox and Falco, and caused Bowser to tweak his ankle," said Ganondorf. "They were plotting to beat up the two pilots, apparently."

"My goodness, that is terrible!" worried Peach. If Bowser were to fall into a pit of lava, she wouldn't think that's terrible.

"Bowser was also carrying Isabelle's laptop in his hands..."

"I must-a investigate immediately!" Mario got up from his seat and ran out of the lecture hall.

At the front of the lecture hall, Zelda was sitting in-between Link and Gil. The three were sitting in seats reserved for them; K.K. Slider had the Black Knight beat up anyone who tried to take the seats. Pac-Man and Little Mac were the only ones who received that fate.

"Greetings, my beautiful people!" K.K. Slider walked onto the stage, along with Jigglypuff. "Glad you all could come here for a rockin' recital. Now let's begin!"

The recital begin, with K.K. playing his guitar, and Jigglypuff providing vocal accompaniment. Link looked to his left and saw the snack bar, where Pit was trying to be romantic with Viridi. Emphasis on trying. Link believed that if he proved to Zelda he could run the snack bar to perfection, he would win the princess's heart. So Link got up and headed over to the snack bar.

"So, uh, you want me to eat this cake?" Pit pointed at the cake. His romantic attempts were too much for Viridi to handle.

"Yes you adorable idiot!" frowned Viridi, before she caught herself. "I mean, yes, that would be lovely!"

"Move aside!" Link ran behind the snack bar and shoved Viridi to the floor. Virid just looked up at him in disgust. How rude of Link!

"Hey man what are you doing?" Knuckles confronted Link, who was deteriorating his plans.

"Bring Zelda over here and no one gets hurt!" Link whipped out his sword and pointed it at Knuckles. The echidna groaned and did as he was told, not wanting to start any drama. Link put his sword back where it belonged.

"Again!" Viridi got up from the floor and grew frustrated. Another failed attempt to get Pit to love her.

"At least we can still enjoy the recital!" Pit said to her. "Right?" The goddess of nature ignored Pit and stormed out of the lecture hall. She had enough.

Pit: So I've tried to be romantic with Viridi, but she doesn't want to be romantic back...maybe she's cooling off!

Knuckles brought Zelda to the snack bar and walked away, grumbling.

"Didn't know you wanted to run the snack bar," Zelda told Link.

"Never hurts to try new things out," Link shrugged. "So what would you like?"

"Chili dogs!" Sonic ran into the lecture hall at the speed of light, and when he approached the snack bar, bumped into Zelda, causing her to land face-first in the heart-shaped cake. "Zelda I'm so sorry..." Sonic apologized.

"Not the cake!" Knuckles, who completely forgot about the cake, panicked as he went to the snack bar. K.K. Slider stopped his recital just to see what was going on. Everyone in the lecture hall was looking on.

Slowly but steadily, Zelda got up, and had swallowed the cake that just so happened to enter her mouth. Once she stood up on her feet, guess who was the first person she was looking at? Link.

"Hoo boy..." Knuckles said. His plan was now an ultimate failure.

"Zelda why are you looking at me like that?" Link asked. Zelda was staring lovingly into Link's eyes. Guess what happens next?

"Kiss me you fool!" Zelda pulled Link towards her, and soon enough, the two were kissing each other. Zelda and Link are now an item.

"Awwww..." everyone in the lecture hall said in unison. Everyone except for Gil, who was rather bitter, and Toon Link, whose eyes were covered by the Flying Man.

Flying Man: Toon Link's innocence must be protected! Watching his older incarnation make out with Zelda would scar him for life! For I am...
Jacky Bryant: *from afar* DON'T SAY THAT DUMB PHRASE EVER AGAIN!


After taking his nemesis Bowser to the fitness center to be treated, and reasoning with the Kongs for attempting to beat up Fox and Falco after Rosalina instructed them to (if you knew it was Rosalina, give yourself a pat on the back), Mario returned Isabelle's laptop back to her. He also learned of the secret Bowser was planning to tell everyone.

The secret, you might ask? Isabelle...has diabetes. The dog was bawling as Mario comforted her in her room.

"Why-a would you keep a secret-a about that, Isabelle?" Mario asked.

"Because I didn't think anyone would care," stated Isabelle. "I mean, you only do so much around here, and nobody else..."

"That doesn't-a mean a thing! Just because I'm-a always busy doing stuff-a around here, and the princesses are-a having their tea parties, and K.K. Slider's singing his-a songs and playing his guitar, and Yoshi's writing his dumb-a fanfics, doesn't mean we wouldn't care-a about you! We won't-a ever leave you-a behind in the dust! We love-a you, and appreciate you!"

"I guess you're right..." Isabelle smiled as she stopped bawling, wiping a tear away.

"Together we-a will overcome your-a diabetes, and ensure-a that you'll be-a happy and gleeful all-a the time!"

"Thank you for the kind words, Mario."

"Sorry to interrupt, Mario, but you missed a great recital!"

Standing at the doorway of the room was Zelda and Link, who were holding hands. Mario just looked at their hands, and fainted on the floor.

"Sir Mario?" Isabelle poked Mario - just to see if he was okay.