Episode 10: Cruisin' Part 2
"Isabelle! Oh Isabelle!" King K. Rool searched through the cruise ship for Isabelle, who had abruptly ran away from the Kremling after an incident during K.K. Slider's performance. In an effort to keep Isabelle's spirits up, Rool had the dog kiss K.K. on the cheek, and he did it against her will. "This is all my fault, I shouldn't have put her up to that..."
Not that far from Rool was Luigi, who was licking an ice cream cone. You probably know what's gonna happen next - somebody bumps into Luigi, causing him to drop his cone on the floor. Well that's exactly what happened, when Rool unsuspectingly bumped into the plumber and causing him to drop his precious ice cream cone.
"Why-a me?" Luigi moaned. Stuff like this always happen to him. Why can't it be anyone else, like Sonic for example?
Luigi: Even when-a I'm on vacation, nobody gives a single care-a about me...it's almost as-a if I'm an invisible ghost...and I'm afraid-a of invisible ghosts! They give-a me the jeebies, even though I can't-a really see them...
"Watch where you're standing pal!" Rool frowned at Luigi. How about you watch where you're going, you fat Kremling, and maybe the incident wouldn't have happened? "Anyway, have you seen Isabelle anywhere?"
"Can't-a say I have," replied Luigi. "Haven't seen her around-a much during the cruise. Why do-a you ask?"
"Nothing, it's not like I upset her or anything..."
"You upset-a Isabelle?!" Luigi grew angry at Rool. The brawlers were supposed to make Isabelle happy, but apparently Rool was doing the exact opposite. "What did-a you do?"
"I made her kiss K.K. Slider in front of a crowd while K.K. was performing! Everyone was standing up in applause, and I thought that might..."
"Ooh, I think-a I know why Isabelle reacted that-a way..."
"What could it be?"
"Just follow me, I'll-a show you..."
Sonic was absolutely bitter with Lucario. Why would he be bitter with the aura Pokemon for? They just finished their rock climbing session, and they scaled to the top of the wall, so what gives?
In actuality, Sonic only obliged to this activity because Lucario said that there was chili dogs offered at the top of the wall. Enticing Sonic with chili dogs was like enticing Kirby with any food item (save for spinach and Brussels sprouts), and Lucario took advantage of the blue hedgehog.
Because of this, Sonic has vowed to remain in his room, and would only leave only on two conditions - A) if he has to use the restroom, and B) if he's hungry. Unless those conditions are present, Sonic will likely spend the rest of the cruise in his room, refusing to engage with the cruise goers. But at least he has Tails to talk to on the phone.
"Lucario is such a jerk!" Sonic complained to Tails, discussing how the Pokemon tricked him into going rock climbing with him. "I hope that guy goes overboard, and nobody rescues him!"
"Sounds a bit extreme, don't you think?" asked Tails. He would have to reason with Sonic if the hedgehog ever comes up with exaggerated and over-the-top ideas and/or imaginations.
"It's not extreme, it's what he deserves!"
Kirby barged into Sonic's room, and did his best to cheer up the hedgehog by performing a variety of silly faces. Sonic just stared at the pink puffball, unamused. No silly face would turn his frown upside down.
Kirby: *makes a silly face in front of the camera*
Wolf: *walking by* And they say I'm conceited... *shakes head* A bunch of buffoons...
"Nice try, pal, but it ain't working," Sonic tried to shove Kirby away, but to no avail. Kirby is too cute to be deterred.
Then all of a sudden, Kirby sucked up Sonic and ran off. Kirby's a cannibal?! Who knew?!
"Sonic you still there?" asked Tails, who was still on the phone. He heard some running footsteps, making him assume Sonic was going on another one of his random speed runs in the public.
"Kirby just sucked me up!" Sonic responded. He never felt more scared in his entire life, being stuck inside Kirby's gigantic stomach...which is essentially a black hole. Sheesh...
"Get away from me, you creep!" Lucina was running away from a flirtatious Captain Falcon, and hid inside one of the women's restrooms. She had just learned from Chrom that Falcon is 36 years old, and when you consider that Lucina is presumed to be in her late teens/early twenties...it sounds creepy, don't it?
"Come on out, I know you're hiding!" Captain Falcon echoed from behind the door. Does this guy ever give up? When will he realize that no woman - not even the Spitter from Left 4 Dead 2 - will ever give this guy a chance?
"That guy is very persistent," remarked a woman who exited a restroom stall. "He would ask me and my friends out every time he sees us.
"Seriously?" Lucina looked astonished. Who knew Captain Falcon was that thirsty for a date?
"Since you kinda led him here, I'll just chill until he decides to leave." C'mon, woman, you know that bathrooms/restrooms are meant for urinating, bowel movements, and school fights, not chilling! (at least that's what Dr. Mario said back in Episode 6)
Captain Falcon: Until Lucina decides to come to her senses and come out of the restroom and oblige to go out with me on a date, I'll just camp here at the entrance to the women's restroom. It's a bit of a win-win situation - whatever woman that comes to this door, I will ask her out on a date!
Cruise Official: No loitering around the restrooms, sir. I will have to ask you to leave the premises.
Captain Falcon: I'm not loitering, lingering here has an actual purpose, and it has to do with finding hot chicks!
Cruise Official: Don't make me do it... *pulls out taser*
Captain Falcon: *gets up and walks away, whimpering*
"I think he's gone," said the woman. "The coast must be clear!"
"Just to make sure..." Lucina inched towards the door, and opened it slightly...and saw Little Mac. The swordswoman felt a little disgusted as she opened the door wide open. Mac is not trying to start a romantic relationship with Lucina after the Fiora incident, is he?
"We have no time to waste!" the boxer grabbed Lucina's hand and ran. No intention or reason was revealed, making Lucina very concerned.
"Rockin' performance!" Diddy Kong commended K.K. Slider, as he and his uncle were chilling with the hippie dog.
"Five stars, as always!" Donkey Kong gave K.K. two thumbs up. The Kongs are K.K.'s biggest fans; even if K.K. had a terrible and sucktacular performance, they would still think his performance was on the same level as Paul McCartney.
Diddy Kong: K.K. Slider is THE best performer in the world right now. Point, blank, and simple.
Donkey Kong: The distinction used to belong to Michael Jackson, but he's dead now, so K.K. is holding down the top spot!
"Thanks for the compliments, my mellow dudes!" grinned K.K. He felt that his performance wasn't up to par with previous ones, but he'll take whatever encouraging remarks he gets.
Suddenly K.K's nose began to twitch, as he smelt something delicious. He followed the scent, and he was led to the Ice Climbers, with Nana holding a giant sea bass.
"Want some?" she enticed. K.K. Slider. Villager would turn down this offer real quick, since he can't stand the sight of sea bass (just like any other Animal Crossing player), but for K.K., it was too good to turn down. The dog leaped up and bit the sea bass...and the Ice Climbers ran off.
Luigi and King K. Rool found Isabelle in her room, face-first on her bed weeping. Luigi shushed Rool, and quietly tip-toed inside the room without being heard. Dude should be a ninja...thought he might be too nervous for that.
"What's-a the matter?" Luigi sat on a stool next to Isabelle's bed. "Did anyone bother-a you?"
"No one bothered me..." Isabelle responded in-between sniffles. Luigi offered her a tissue, which she used to blow her nose. The tissue came from Luigi's pocket - honestly, who knows why he kept it there. "It's just that...I don't want to be put on a pedestal, of sorts...I can't really stand the attention..."
"So that's-a why you kept-a your diabetes a secret from us?"
"...More or less."
Luigi nodded his head. Isabelle was crying after Rool made her kiss K.K. because all the attention was on her - and if she told anyone at the mansion about her diabetes, everyone would have given her boatloads of attention, and attention is her kryptonite, it seems.
King K. Rool: Can't make out what Luigi and Isabelle are discussing about, but I've developed a general consensus of their discussion...they must be talking about the new vegan ice cream flavors from Ben and Jerry's! Poor Isabelle must really despise those flavors - and honestly, who doesn't?
"Come with-a me, maybe some ice cream will-a cheer you up," said Luigi. Isabelle quickly obliged, as she got up off her bed and walked with Luigi, out of the room.
"I was right!" Rool cheered, pumping his fist in the air. "They were discussing about ice cream!"
It was now time for the basketball game between Mario and Alessandro to begin. Mario's team consisted of Mario at point guard (because he's the team captain), Dark Pit at shooting guard (Mario instructed him to only shoot), Link at small forward (not really that agile for the position), Corrin (his only role is to rebound, not that hard to screw up), and Doc Louis (probably here because he's black). Cloud, Wario, Wii Fit Trainer, and the Kongs were bench players - Donkey Kong and Diddy were recruited on short notice. Alessandro's team consisted him him and a bunch of strong, muscular dudes he recruited on the ship.
"Ready to take an L?" Alessandro asked Mario.
"If by-a L you mean a licking...then that's-a what you're gonna take!" retorted Mario, causing his teammates to faceplam. Somebody needs to teach Mario how to trash talk, he can't embarrass himself like this.
"We're all rooting for you, Mario!" shouted Peach, who was one of the many spectators, along with Bayonetta, Samus, Lucario, and Pac-Man.
Bayonetta: A basketball game meant for bragging rights? Cheeky...sure hope Mario doesn't break a leg, if you know what I mean!
Samus: Mario's team is absolutely toast. You can't tell me a team with a plumber, a boxing trainer, two swordsmen, and an angel is gonna beat a bunch of dudes who all look like bona fide street ballers. And why is Doc Louis in the starting lineup? His fatness is going to slow down the him and the team itself! And he's eating freaking chocolate bars!
Mario's team had the the ball first. Mario dribbled the basketball down the court, and looked at his many options. To his right was Dark Pit, being guarded by a defender. Link was at the baseline, waving his arms so Mario could pass him the ball. Corrin stood near the basket, ready to catch the basketball if Mario misses. And Doc Louis...was eating a candy bar. Not even playing basketball could stop him from eating his favorite snack.
But Mario knew exactly what to do...he did a jump shot and the ball traveled in the air - only to bounce off of the basketball rim. Corrin caught the basketball in time and threw it in the net for two easy points.
"Dude I was open!" Link frowned at Mario as they headed to the other side of the court.
"You weren't-a open enough!" Mario responded. Literally nobody was near Link, he was all by himself! What was Mario seeing that no one else didn't?
Dark Pit was playing defense on the ball carrier, and the guy was too much for the angel to handle. The man slashed his way through the court and made a lay-up, tying the game at two. Then Mario did the unthinkable: he made a substitution! He substituted Doc Louis, who was too busy eating his chocolate bar, for Donkey Kong.
"A substitution this early in the game?" Samus questioned. "Somebody needs to tell Mario to chill out..."
"Doc is eating right now, he should sit on the bench and take his team with his chocolate bar," stated Lucario. Doc should have already eaten, everyone knows you can't play on an empty stomach!
After the substitution was made, play resumed. Mario drove down the lane, and passed the ball to Donkey Kong, who dunked the ball into the net, dunking on someone in the process. The spectators went ballistic!
"Why is everyone going crazy, he just dunked on someone!" wondered Corrin. Yeah, somebody needs to take this dude to a basketball game, or any sporting event for that matter. He's too oblivious to everything.
Wii Fit Trainer: The basketball game is going along very nicely, and it's more close than I expected. The score right now is 21-19, and unbelievably, Corrin is leading the way with 10 points!
Cloud: But stats don't tell the whole story. He has that many points because he always scores off of rebounds whenever Mario misses easy shots. Not to mention that he always stays in the same spot, where he always goes unnoticed!
Diddy Kong: Is it just me, or has anyone other than Corrin, Donkey Kong, and Dark Pit scored yet?
Link: I haven't touched the ball at all, and yet Mario thinks it's my fault I'm haven't scored any points...now I have to sit on the bench...
Wario: Mario has called me into the game! Time to make an impact!
Wario came in for Doc Louis, who saw his ankles broken. The crowd reacted greatly to the ankle breaker, leaving Corrin perplexed as to why such a move elicits a huge response.
"That short dude gonna be the center?" asked one of Alessandro's teammates. Wario is as short as Mario, so if you think about it, it would be like a point guard playing center, which results in a huge disadvantage.
"Height-a doesn't make a single-a difference in the world!" Mario defended Wario, making it one of the few times he'll ever do such a thing.
"I'll be the one doing the rebounding," Wario said to Corrin. "You've been manning the same spot for far too long!
Inside Ashley's room, the young witch was trying to find a remedy for Pit's urinary incontinence problem. The angel had drunken an entire potion - a mere sip was meant to make him fall in love with Viridi - and as a result, has been urinating a lot as of late.
Ashley: Good thing I was making a cure potion in case something went awry. Though given it's Pit, that was expected to happen. I remembered when he messed up the collage I made for Snake (when you're suffering from accelerated age, you feel depressed) and the old coot "banned" from ever coming into his room. Not that I would go into his room anyways, since it's a dump, but the very ban is rather interesting and questionable.
Once she was done with the potion, Ashley poured the contents into a vial, sealing it shut with a cap. She then exited her room, and held the vial delicately, searching for Pit. She ran into Rosalina and Luma during her search, and Rosalina scrutinized her potion.
"You seem like you're in quite a hurry," Rosalina smiled. Ashley rarely conversed with Rosalina - or anyone else for that matter.
"I have to deliver this potion to Pit," Ashley held up the vial, hoping she won't drop it. "Pit's been dealing with some urinary issues."
"Is it because of his stupidity?" asked Luma. Ooh, burn!
"Now be nice!" Rosalina scolded Luma. Don't lie, Rosalina, you're probably thinking the same thing. "We saw Pit in the pool, and the officials are trying to get him out."
"And what about Viridi, have you seen her lately?"
"Can't say I haven't. But I'll be on the lookout."
Back to the basketball game, and Alessandro's team was up by three. It has been a closely contested game, and Mario kept switching team members in and out, like he was a NBA general manager trying to put together a perfect team. Cloud was put in the game, just when Kirby arrived with Sonic, Little Mac with Lucina, and the Ice Climbers with K.K. Slider, who was still biting on the sea bass. Kirby spat Sonic out of his mouth, and the hedgehog laid there on the ground, shivering in saliva. Who knew Kirby's stomach was such a dark place?
"Never again..." he uttered. Stuck inside Kirby's stomach is a fate the hedgehog wouldn't wish on anyone.
"What took you guys so long?" Lucario asked the group.
"Sonic managed to escape from Kirby's stomach and ran away," explained Nana. Catching Sonic was a problematic task, due to his blazing speed. "So catching him was a daunting objective."
"What do you possibly want?" asked Lucina, tired of being dragged around by Little Mac. Because of this, everybody on the cruise will likely assume that her and Little Mac are an item...
"We need you, Sonic, and K.K. Slider for a free throw distraction," explained Lucario. K.K. Slider and Lucina (Sonic is too unnerved to care) gave the aura Pokemon questionable looks. They were dragged here for that?! "This was Mario's idea." Oh okay, now it all makes sense.
Little Mac: Why would Mario want those three schlubs when he could have the biggest distractor of all time, Doc Louis? The guy would let out a big belch during a boxing match, catching the opponent off-guard and giving me the victory. It should have been me at center, and the G.O.A.T distractor Doc Louis distracting opposing players!
Samus: You act like what Doc Louis does is unique, and cannot be executed by anyone else. I'm sure most other people could burp as loudly as he does! And besides...
Little Mac: Well how about you quit being such a hater, and learn to appreciate greatness! Doc Louis is eons better than you will ever be!
Samus: Yeah, that's real funny...
Dark Pit fouled Alessandro, so Alessandro went to the free throw line to shoot some free throws. And if he refused to shoot them...well nobody really knows the repercussions for refusing to shoot free throws. It has never been done!
As he readied himself at the free throw line, a distraction caught Alessandro's left eye. Lucina was lying on the ground, and Sonic, who was back to his normal self again, knelt at her side. A blanket was over Lucina, as if she was pregnant and giving birth.
"Uh..." Alessandro looked around, just as confused and worried as the other spectators were.
"C'mon, Lucina, just push!" Sonic encouraged Lucina. "Push with all you got!" Looks like she is giving birth...what on earth made Mario think this was a good distraction?!
"I'm...trying..." Lucina grimaced, trying to make the distraction look authentic. It was sure working, since it has everyone entranced - but not in a particularly good way.
Then the unthinkable happened. Lucina finally gave birth...to K.K. Slider, who began to play his guitar. Free throw distractions don't get any more shocking than this.
"It's a boy!" Sonic exclaimed, sounding like a proud father. By the looks of it, he wished he was stuck in Kirby's stomach.
Alessandro and many others all had dumbfounded looks on their faces. A hedgehog and a female human can't result in a dog! Unless there were some video game bylaws that weren't ever explained...
Lucina: Never gonna do that again. NEVER. If Father ever saw that, he would've had a heart attack.
Sonic: Not even Kirby's stomach had chili dogs...What is wrong with the universe?!
Mario's distraction worked - Alessandro missed both of his free throws, and his team lost to Mario's team, 51-50, after Link helped cut Alessandro's team's lead after coming off the bench. Everyone on Mario's team lifted Link over their shoulders and carried the hero of time away, while Alessandro looked on, like he was plotting an evil plot - and he was.
"Heihachi Mishima was spotted in the gift shop," one of Alessandro's teammates whispered to the Italian. "Safe and sound."
"Go on?" Alessandro asked for more information.
"And the target has been captured. Your basketball game was a good idea, boss."
"Excellent..." Alessandro snarled. Yup, he's definitely evil. "...You know exactly what to do."
"That's the last of the smoke," Zero remarked after he and R.O.B cleared the mansion of smoke. Given the size of the mansion, and how many rooms and halls there were, it took the two a rather long time to accomplish the task. All there was left to do was find out about the whereabouts of Fox and Falco, who apparently escaped.
"DETECTING...GAPING HOLE IN CEILING..." R.O.B saw a giant hole in the mansion's ceiling, which could only mean one thing...
"Fox and Falco must have used a flying-type Pokmeon to escape! How are we ever going to find them?"
"Have you two forgotten the only winged person in this household?"
Zero and R.O.B saw Palutena standing behind them. Palutena was offering to help, but Zero pondered over this for a while.
"You can't leave the mansion, think about dinner!" the robot stressed.
"Robin has it all covered..."
"Pork chops, prepare to meet your match!" Robin's voice was heard from the kitchen. A minor explosion was heard afterwards. Dinner is doomed.
Palutena: I would have Chrom be of assistance to Robin in the kitchen, but he's still trying to wrap his head around how cellphones are supposed to work. It took him forever to realize going over the data results in money, and bizarrely he did it twice in one sitting!
"What if I fly you two to the whereabouts of Fox and Falco?" asked Palutena. "You wouldn't mind that, right?"
Zero and R.O.B pondered over Palutena's offer. Was it worth risking a horrible dinner for an even more horrible dinner, and have the mansion's resident cook, Palutena, help the two robots?
"Feel free to tag along," Zero replied. "We could really use your help."
At the cruise, Mario's team was celebrating their victory in the cafe. Mario treated his teammates to sundaes - but rather in this case, he gave each person a bit of money, and they would pay the rest. Like he was going to pay the full prices...bah!
"I think this guy deserves a huge hand!" Pac-Man was referring to Corrin, who led the team with 26 points and 13 rebounds. All that standing near the basket worked all sorts of wonders. Everyone in the cafe gave Corrin a round of applause, while the prince of Nohr cowered in fear, worried that a huge hand like Master Hand would pop out of nowhere and beat the living snot out of him.
"What about me, you guys didn't have a chance at winning until I came off of the bench!" frowned Link. He contributed with 14 points, and was the main reason Mario's team got the W. But sure, let's give Corrin - who hardly gave any effort - all the praise.
Link: Out of all the people on the team, I was the only person that actually did something. Mario? Those assists mean nothing if you keep bricking easy shots and layups. Donkey Kong? Had two nice dunks, and nothing else. Doc Louis? Too busy eating the chocolate bars he stuffed in his jumpsuit. Cloud? His apathy nearly cost us the victory. Nobody else did much to contribute.
"Heard you did great!" Zelda approached Link, after returning from the gift shop with shopping bags in her hand. Link could have really used her encouragement, but he was already proud with how well he did.
"Guys would have lost without me," Link gave a cheesy grin. If only Zelda had got the chance to see him play...
"I just contacted the mansion," Cloud said to Mario as they were eating their sundaes. "Akira said that Zero, R.O.B, and Palutena are searching for Fox and Falco."
"When-a did they leave?" Mario was suddenly intrigued, mainly because Palutena left the mansion. If she ever leaves the mansion, it's a really big deal. Not much can be done in the kitchen without her. "Also, who is-a doing the dinner?"
"They left not so long ago. And apparently Robin is cooking pork chops for dinner. The brawlers might as well eat out, to save themselves..."
"Robin is learning under-a my tutelage, I'm confident that-a he'll do great!"
"Dude doesn't even know how to microwave popcorn, how do you expect him to cook anything?"
"There were-a no microwaves from where Robin-a comes from, so I'll give-a him a pass!"
"I'm so proud of you, Mario!" Peach took a seat next to Mario, commending her love interest for his efforts, whatever they may be. "Even though you had more assists than anything (and Corrin bailed you with every shot you missed) you still led the team to victory!"
"Couldn't have-a done it without Corrin!" Mario grinned. Link gave the plumber a death stare. "..and Link." The hero of Hyrule refuses to let his efforts go unnoticed.
"Lucina and Sonic are also angry at you for making them perform that distraction. K.K. Slider says that the distraction was 'outtasight'."
"At least-a K.K. Slider knows what's-a up." Mario found the free throw distraction online, and having a rendition of it bizarrely worked in his favor.
"You're the famous Mario, right?" a random dude approached Mario, looking worried.
"The one-a and only! Why do you-a ask?"
"Your brother, Luigi...he's stuck in a trash can!"
"WHAT?!"
Ashley found Pit in a pool, with Viridi and Knuckles urging him to get out. People were surrounding the area, wanting to enter the pool. Why can't they get in the pool, you might ask? Well, you see, Pit is still dealing with his urinary problem, and when you pee in a swimming pool, the water becomes discolored.
"Pit, you must get out of the pool, like, RIGHT NOW!" Viridi yelled at the angel. But Pit refused to do so.
"I ain't leaving until my bladder is completely empty!" responded Pit. Now here's the problem - the potion messed up Pit's bladder to the point where it will constantly fill up after it's emptied. Going by Pit's logic, the angel will likely remain in the pool for the remainder of the cruise.
Knuckles: Stuff like this is why Pit doesn't deserve to be in a relationship. Too live to dumb...To live dumb too...Dumb too live to...associating yourself with Pit must make you less intelligent.
"Drink this potion!" Ashley yelled as she threw the vial at Pit. The angel caught it in his hands.
"You want me to drink this?" he pointed at the vial. "Yeah, right. The last potion I drank gave me this urinary problem, who knows what'll happen if I drink this!"
"Just drink it, it will cure you!"
So Pit unscrewed the top and drank the vial. Within seconds, his bladder was functioning normally again.
"Sir, I'm going to have to ask you to leave the premises," a pool maintenance guy told Pit. The entire pool had a dark tint to it, and it was clear evidence of how much urine filled up the pool.
"He won't do this ever again," Viridi smiled at the maintenance guy as he grabbed Pit and dragged him away.
The guy that told Mario about what happened to Luigi guided the plumber and Peach to a trash can, where Luigi was stuffed in. A muscle-bound cruise officials pried the green plumber of said trash can, and dusted him off.
"Thank-a you for saving me..." Luigi thanked the dude. Other cruise officials were checking Luigi out, to see if he was okay.
"Luigi what-a happened?!" Mario ran to his little brother, with Peach tagging along. Since Luigi's older, Mario tries to let him live on his own, but he's always concerned about his brother's safety.
"Oh, Mario, it's-a horrible!" Luigi wailed. "Isabelle and I were-a eating ice cream in the cafe, when some man kidnapped-a Isabelle and beat-a me up and threw me in that trash can!"
"Isabelle has been kidnapped?!" Peach gasped in horror. "Sure do hope she's okay..."
"This is-a all my fault...going on a cruise wasn't-a the best intention..."
Mario: Knew Isabelle's kidnapping was-a bound to transpire...her cuteness makes her a formidable target-a for kidnapping!
"It's not entirely your fault, Mario," Peach comforted the plumber. "You were just doing what was best for Isabelle!"
"Mario, I have some dire news!" Snake ran up to Mario, panting heavily once he reached him. Accelerated age is holding back his fitness. "I just saw a person in a spy suit running away with Isabelle in his grasp. I tried to catch him, but he was no match for me."
"A spy-a suit?" Luigi raised an eyebrow. "That must be the same-a guy who attacked me!"
"We shall hunt down this foe, if you like," said one of the cruise officials.
"Please do, I can't-a afford any more distractions during the cruise!" complied Mario. "Isabelle's-a safety is of the utmost concern!"
Fox and Falco arrived on the cruise ship via Flygon, and Fox returned the mystic Pokemon back to its Poke ball. The two pilots found two sailors walking by; they ambushed them, and stole their sailor clothes, putting them on. Even dressed as sailors, the brawlers could easily identify Fox and Falco, but whatever works for them...
"No one will ever suspect us in these!" remarked Falco. That doesn't sound ironic at all.
"So why did we come here to the cruise again?" wondered Fox. They broke out of the Pokemon sanctuary with the use of Flygon...so what's next for them?
"What are you boys doing out there all willy nilly?" a sailor sporting a Brooklyn accent approached Fox and Falco. He looked like the type of guy you certainly don't want to mess with; his muscles were slightly intimidating. "We need you boys out on the poop deck, a kidnapping has taken place!"
"A kidnapping?!" Fox's eyes bulged. "Who got kidnapped?"
"They say a young canine lass by the name of Isabelle. Poor girl didn't expect anything like this on a cruise..."
Fox and Falco began to worry. Isabelle's kidnapping wouldn't have happened if the brawlers didn't go on the cruise...and the cruise wouldn't have happened if Mario promised to cheer Isabelle up...and cheering Isabelle up wouldn't have happened if Mario learned about her diabetes...and Mario learning about her diabetes wouldn't have happened if Bowser tried to look into her laptop...and Bowser looking into her laptop wouldn't have happened if Fox and Falco were trying to find their way into the program from said laptop.
Falco: This is all your fault! We triggered a chain of events that led up to Isabelle getting kidnapped! We're such horrible people!
Fox: At least we all know about her medical condition. That's a plus...right?
"I want you two laddies to be on watch on the poop deck in case you see anyone suspicious," the sailor went on. "The person of interest is reportedly wearing a spy suit. If you ever catch him, track him and chase him down!"
"Yes sir!" Fox and Falco saluted the sailor; the sailor nodded and walked away.
"We're gonna suck so much at this job," stated Fox.
"Suck is an understatement," replied Falco.
"Got this for you," Zelda handed Link a shopping bag. Link took the item out of said bag, which was a snow globe. Link marveled at it - just like he usually does with any item or weapon he finds on his adventures. A pretty nifty consolation prize for leading Mario's team to victory; he has yet to receive any props from anyone other than a certain princess.
"I've always wanted one of these!" he gleamed. "Thank you so much!"
"We have-a no time for exchanging gifts!" Mario ran into the scene, knocking the snow globe out of Link's hands and unto the floor, breaking it in the process. Link whimpered, his lovely gift from Zelda destroyed. "Isabelle has been-a kidnapped!"
"Say it isn't so!" Zelda gasped, too much in shock to chide Mario for breaking the snow globe and wasting the fifty rupees she spent on it. "Has the culprit been spotted yet?"
"No, but the sailors-a and the cruise officials are on-a the look-out. I've notified-a everyone so far, everyone except..."
"Koko de kaimono o shitai to omou subete no korera no tondemonai kakaku, mite?" Heihachi glanced at the price tags in the cruise ship's gift shop. A mug for $25? A regular pencil sharpener for $35? A key chain for $65?! Blasphemous!
"Heihachi, Isabelle has been kidnapped, and the kidnapper has yet to be found!" Shulk ran into the gift shop to alert Heihachi, and Wolf tagged along. Since Dunban isn't on the cruise, Wolf has to fill in the void. "We should go look for the kidnapper ourselves!"
Min'na de dōsa shimasu ka?" Heihachi chuckled, likely amused by Shulk's offer. "Wa wa wa! Anata wa watashi o warawasemasu!"
"Can you translate what he just said?" Shulk whispered to Wolf.
"He might have said he will work with us," Wolf whispered back. He doesn't know what Heihachi just said, but he was definitely inferring.
"Alright, Heihachi, it's a deal! The three of us will work together, and find the kidnapper!"
Heihachi groaned. Why can't he learn to speak in English? Why must he always pass up on Ike's English lessons with Takamuaru?
Heihachi Mishima: Kisai-jō no kono ten kara, watashi wa dare ka ga bengijō, watashi o hon'yaku shite imasu. Sakurai Masahiro wa onaji koto o okonai, naze watashibekide wa nai nodesu ka? Sore wa dare no tame ni haruka ni kantan'na mono o okonaimasu!
Pit found himself in Ashley's room...tied down to her bed laying on his back. The young witch was making yet another potion, while Viridi and Knuckles looked on.
"After this is over, it will all be resolved..." Viridi rubbed her hands together, like a tsundere girlfriend ready to do some romantic experimentation on her boyfriend. "No more denial, no more bodily malfunctions, no more running away...you'll love me forever, and ever, and EVER!"
"Virdi I think you're taking this way too far," Knuckles pointed out. The goddess of nature was hovering along the lines of a obsessed and overly attached girlfriend - let's just hope Viridi doesn't make any viral videos about it.
"Nobody cares about what you think! If you don't like it, then leave!"
"Yeah, I'd rather stay..."
Pit would try to wrangle his way out of the ropes that were tying him down, but he wasn't awake - you'll see why later. The angel was trapped within the vicinity of Viridi, a situation not working very well in his favor. Who will save him?
"Falcon...PUNCH!"
Captain Falcon falcon punched the door, sending it into Ashley's goblet and spilling the concoction all over the floor. Viridi panicked in an instant; she can't possibly let this plan go to waste! She knew what would be the most reasonable thing to do: she untied Pit and pulled his face towards the floor, forcing him to lick the contents.
"Lick it!" she ordered, on the verge of tears. "Lick it, I tell you!"
"He can't lick it if he's unconscious!" Ashley stated. Apparently Viridi had the witch use a sleeping potion on Pit, so she could pour the potion down his mouth via funnel.
"Woah, Viridi, chill!" Captain Falcon ran over to the goddess and pulled her away. He held Viridi in his arms, as the goddess wept. Girl's got issues.
Captain Falcon: Viridi needs a real good spanking! Real quick! Now I see why Dark Pit has never fallen in love with her, she's obsessed!
"Just a warning for you kiddies..." Captain Falcon began.
"Ahem..." Knuckles cleared his throat. Though he's sixteen, he refuses to be called a kid.
"...and teens...Isabelle was kidnapped, and it's our duty to look for her at all costs! Also, what is this substance on the floor?"
"It's a love potion," explained Ashley. "We were gonna make Pit drink it, so he'll fall in love with Viridi."
"Uh huh...can you by chance make me a love potion?"
Storm clouds were filling the sky, just when Zero, R.O.B, and Palutena arrived on the ship. Palutena used her flight ability to carry the two robots, and now they're too afraid to fly in the air again.
"NO PLANES FOR ME..." R.O.B remarked. Palutena diminished whatever interest the robot had in aerial flight.
"Same here, buddy, same here..." Zero shook his head. If only he had Rush Jet... "My radar indicates that Fox and Falco are on the very cruise ship our fellow brawlers are on. All we need to do now is find them."
"While you do that, I'll go look for Pit," said Palutena. She has to ensure that Pit is safe, for his noggin can really lead him to trouble.
"Pit's fine, I'm sure about it."
R.O.B: PIT IS NOT FINE...YOU BUFFOON...
Zero: How can you be so sure about that?
R.O.B: DO YOU NOT KNOW...WHO WE ARE TALKING ABOUT?
"Let's go ask that sailor if he knows about the whereabouts of Fox and Falco," Zero pointed at a sailor, sweeping the deck. "Excuse me, sir, but have you seen a fox and a bird on this ship?"
"Two of our sailors are a fox and a bird," replied the sailor. "And did you and your friends receive permission to enter the ship?"
"HE'S ON TO US..." R.O.B. panicked. "BLAST HIM TO BITS..." He fired a laser at the sailor, knocking him out. Nice going, dude...er, robot.
"At least we know what Fox and Falco are up to," said Palutena.
Mario paced back and forth in his room, as Luigi and Cloud watched on. He would go look for the kidnapper himself, but Shulk told him that he, Wolf, and Heihachi got it all covered. He has no idea who he's putting his trust in.
"Should-a we look for Isabelle our-a selves?" asked Luigi. Mario, though he's not the man of the mansion as of right now (Ike is holding that title down while Mario's away), should be the man of just about anywhere he is.
"I'm trying to piece-a the puzzle pieces together," responded Mario. "Why would Alessandro want-a to have a basketball game with-a me? What are his-a motives?"
"You're overthinking this way too much," stated Cloud. Due to being Mario's temporary assistant, he has to be with Mario at all times during times of crisis. "Alessandro looks like an innocent guy; sure he's full of himself, but he could care less about Isabelle."
"Or maybe that's-a what he wants you to think! It's all just a facade!"
Luigi: This Alessandro has-a got inside poor Mario's head...he needs-a to stop concentrating on the basketball game, and concentrate-a on Isabelle and her well-being!
Cloud: Why did Mario make me his assistant? Does he not realize that he has his twin brother to do his bidding? Not even he could forget Luigi, not after all the adventures they've had together!
"Listen up, Mario, wherever you are!" Alessandro's voice was heard on the cruise ship's intercom. "I got your precious Isabelle out here on the mast. I'll break a deal with you: bring Heihachi Mishima up here, and I'll give Isabelle back! Be there, or be squared!"
"Alessandro has-a Isabelle!" Mario sprung to action. "We must rescue her immediately!"
"But what-a about Heihachi?" asked Luigi. Mario can't confront Alessandro empty-handed - besides, he told him to bring Heihachi. Who knows what Alessandro might do to the plumber if he doesn't follow his command.
"Don't-a worry about him...for I have a back-a up plan...But first we must-a gather the others!"
Elsewhere on the ship, Viridi was still sobbing...about Pit. Numerous attempts have been wasted to make Pit love her, and she doesn't think she'll try another time. The goddess of nature wept, as Captain Falcon comforted her.
"There's plenty of other fish out in the sea," he said. But none of those fish could compare to Pit. He's the only person Viridi has the hots for. "And besides, you still have Dark Pit!"
Viridi wept even louder. What's so wrong with Dark Pit? Sure he's quite the jerk and all, but at least he's smart!
Captain Falcon: So Ashley's been making love potions this whole time?! And she never told me about it?! With that potion, I would have already been in a relationship with any female brawler! Like Samus, Lucina, or even Sheik! Zelda knows Shiek very well, perhaps I should ask her what Sheik finds in a guy...
"Mario wants us to be at the mast!" Pac-Man alerted Captain Falcon and Viridi.
"What for, has the kidnapper been spotted?" Falcon asked. This would be the perfect time for him to dispatch the kidnapper, and win over one of the female brawlers' heart. But he'll find a way to screw it up anyways.
"Well, not exactly, but Mario has planned to use you in his back-up plan..."
"Backup plan?" Falcon stroke his chin. "Time for a backup plan of my own..."
The brawlers attending the cruise (save for Captain Falcon, and Shulk, Wolf, and Heihachi - who knows where those three are) were all gathered near the mast. The cruise officials and sailors were there as well; Fox and Falco, still in their sailor getup, stayed behind in the back so they won't be detected.
"Are we doing a flash mob or something?" Falco asked Fox, wondering why everyone is gathered here. Did he not hear Alessandro's message on the intercom?
"Flash mobs are a thing of the past now!" Fox responded. "We're definitely doing a Harlem Shake." Joke's on you, Fox, the Harlem Shake is extinct.
Thunder and lightning flashed down on the earth as Alessandro appeared, along with a man in a spy suit - holding Isabelle in his grasp.
"Give up Isabelle this-a instant!" Mario demanded. He didn't care about bringing Heihachi - he just wanted Isabelle back.
"Before we can go any further, time for a reveal..." said Alessandro. He pressed a button on his wrist, and his body seemingly transformed into...
...and revealing himself as a toned, white-haired man wearing a high-tech cyborg suit, and wielding a blade. Know this guy? Apparently none of the brawlers, officials, or sailors have no clue who he is.
"Have we met before?" asked K.K. Slider. Alessandro sighed and placed an eyepatch around his left eye, revealing himself to be no other than...
"Raiden!" Snake growled. "What business do you have here?!"
"Hush, old man, my intentions here have absolutely nothing to do with the likes of you," replied Raiden. Now, Raiden, that's no way to talk to your former mentor! "I'm only here...for Heihachi Mishima."
"Why do you want him so badly?" asked Knuckles. "Did he do something personal to you?"
"Nothing personal, my mission is to return him to his rightful place - the All-Star Manor." The All-Star Manor is the residence where the characters from Playstation All-Stars Battle Royale reside. Heihachi used to live there, until he received a Smash invitation.
Diddy Kong: The All-Star Manor sucks, and shouldn't exist! Just look at the people who reside there - a wannabe rapper, an obese princess, some dumb cat, a stinking piece of cloth...a space system engineer...an army commander...a guy who hunts demons...gotta think of it, the All-Star Manor isn't as bad as Mario makes it out to be.
"And here we have poor, poor Isabelle," Raiden alluded to the dog. "Claims she hates the all the attention and regard in the world, and right now she's receiving attention, whether she likes it or not. I can make it stop - if you bring Heihachi to me!"
"We have no idea where he is!" stated Rosalina. The spy held Isabelle out, ready to drop her at any minute. Everyone was scared - Isabelle could fall to her death at any given moment.
"Either Heihachi shows up, or your precious Isabelle is a goner!" frowned Raiden. He's supposed to be the hero, not the villain!
Isabelle tried to pry her way out of the spy's hands, but it was no use. So she bit his hands, and the spy dropped her, as the dog fell to her doom.
"Isabelle! Noooooo!" Mario screamed, too much in despair to actually save her.
Then like a flash of light, a Fox Illusion - Fox dashed past everyone in blazing speed, catching Isabelle in time and saving her. Isabelle, feeling grateful, gave Fox the biggest smile she could.
"Sorry for trying to invade your personal privacy," apologized Fox. "Falco and I have learned our lesson."
"We won't ever do anything like that ever again," added Falco, who made his way through the crowd to tell Isabelle this. During this moment, Mario would scold Fox and Falco for sneaking out of the mansion undetected, but since they've had a change of heart, he felt no punishment was needed.
"I have no time for this!" Raiden leaped down from the mast and ran towards Fox so he can fight him. But he was stopped in his tracks by Sheik, who was in a ninja stance. You can't call yourself a full-fledged ninja if you can't pull off a ninja stance.
"Take Isabelle somewhere safe, I got this all covered," she said to Fox and Falco. Fox nodded and ran away, but Falco stayed put.
"Oh, about those smoke bombs..." he chuckled nervously. Should have known better than to mess with a ninja like Sheik.
"Go! Now!" Sheik yelled. Falco did as he was told. Sheik stared down Raiden, and Raiden did the same with Sheik.
And in an instant, the two were battling each other. The sounds of swords and needles colliding with one another filled the damp air, as thunder and lightning continued to make its rounds.
Wii Fit Trainer: So glad Mario called us out here. Lots and lots of action going on right now!
Sheik ultimately lost the battle, when Raiden knocked her into the ground with his sword. The ninja was lying on her back, with Raiden point his sword at her. Is this Sheik's last hour?
"You deserve no pity; final words are useless," Raiden uttered. "Prepare to meet your..."
"BACKSLASH!"
A certain Homs delivered his signature move on Raiden, striking him in the chest. The mercenary fell on his knees, allowing Sheik some time to get up off the ground. Shulk appeared, and Wolf's Landmaster also showed up, hitting the mast and sending the spy guy atop into the water. No sign of Heihachi whatsoever.
"We got the kidnapper!" cheered Wolf, oblivious to the fact that he went after the wrong perpetrator.
"Um, Wolf, I think we still have to deal with this guy," Shulk pointed at Raiden, who was slowly getting up. The mercenary, once he was standing on his own feet, slashed at Shulk, catching the Homs off-balance and sending him to his feet.
"Was that backslash the best you got?" Raiden snarled. "Anyone else would like to try me?"
Soon Palutena, Zero, and R.O.B showed up, cornering Raiden. The intensity has never been higher.
"So you're the dude behind all of this, huh?" asked Zero. Fun fact: Zero, R.O.B., and Palutena encountered the threesome of Shulk, Wolf, and Heihachi on the ship, and Shulk told the trio about Isabelle's kidnapping. "What's your incentive for causing this mayhem?"
"My incentive was to exchange Isabelle for Heihachi, so I can return him to the All-Star Manor," explained Raiden. "Apparently he hasn't showed up yet..."
"Ya i o motte imasu?"
Everyone was astonished to see Heihachi Mishima, arms crossed as he stood on the mast. He leaped down and stuck a perfect landing, in front of Raiden.
"Watashi wa anata ga watashi o mitai to omotte kita koto o kiita koto ga aru node, anata wa subete no hoshi no manā ni watashi o kaesu koto ga dekimasu," said Heihachi. "Koko ni mo watashi wa!"
"Hehe..." Raiden laughed evilly. He finally got what he wanted - Heihachi Mishima. No ransom involved. "See, Mario and friends, Heihachi wishes to return to his original abode, and not spend time with you cravens! Isn't that right, Heihachi?"
"Hitotsu no koto watashi wa watashi no mune no ofu ni shutoku suru hitsuyō ga arimasu..." stated Heihachi.
"Hmm?"
"...It's too early for April Fools!"
"Wait, what?!"
"Falcon...PUNCH!"
Heihachi delivered a falcon punch, sending Raiden into the railing. However, Heihachi is unable to pull off such a maneuver, unless...
"Got em!" Heihachi placed a helmet on his head...Captain Falcon's helmet. Heihachi was actually Captain Falcon in disguise! The real Heihachi leaped out of the Landmaster, and Wolf did the same a second later.
Mario: Little did-a anyone know that Captain-a Falcon is fluent in Japanese. With his-a knowledge of the language, I can slide-a into the DMs of those Japanese ladies Peach talks-a with online...Peach might be withholding some-a juicy info about me!
Wolf: Not so long ago, makeup was applied to me. This time around, I had to apply makeup to a dude...Mario just surpassed Chrom on my lifetime list.
"Impossible..." Raiden struggled to get up. Captain Falcon got him good. "How can it be..."
Watashi wa, futatabi sono shōen ni modotte watashi no kotoba o māku suru koto wa arimasen!" stated Heihachi, expressing his displeasure with the All-Star Manor. "Watashi wa watashi ni, nai baai demo man-doru ga teikyō sa rete imashita modotte suru koto o kyohi shimasu!"
"It's not over yet..." Raiden got on his feet yet again. Does he not know what will happen to him next?
Suddenly the rain began pouring down. And Doc Louis, who was aquaphobia, was breathing heavily.
"Calm down, Doc, it's just rain..." Little Mac soothed his trainer. But the soothing did nothing - Doc Louis went berserk!
"GAAAAAH!" the boxing trainer yelled with all his might and ran to Raiden, slapping his chest like a madman. Seemed like the only way to vent his frustration. Cruise officials and sailors pulled Doc back, and Raiden looked battered.
Never was there a perfect opening for Link.
The man who was unappreciated for most of his stay, Link wielded his sword and rushed towards Raiden, performing a forward strike and sending the mercenary into the ocean. Raiden was finally dispatched! Everyone was cheering for Link and his act of heroism.
"Our hero!" Samus and several of the female brawlers - namely Rosalina, the Wii Fit Trainer, and Lucina ran towards Link. The hero of Hyrule was shocked, since he's finally getting some recognition of some sort. Link held his arms out wide, expecting some embracing, as the female brawlers...
...ran past Link, and embraced Captain Falcon instead. Women embracing Captain Falcon? This has to be a setup!
"You look so macho in that kung fu suit!" remarked Rosalina, who stroked Captain Falcon's chiseled body. Link just stood there with his mouth agape.
"We all can't have nice things," Sheik approached Link and patted him on the shoulder. "And in case you were wondering, Captain Falcon asked Ashley to make some love potion with her spellbook and somehow made those ladies drink it. I even saw him do it in her room. Experienced it firsthand; I was the first person to be asked to drink the potion, and he was all bummed out when I turned down the offer."
"I shouldn't be so surprised, the guy's desperate," Link shrugged. Captain Falcon has zero romantic chemistry with women, so he deserves every second of this moment.
Viridi sat in her room weeping...Pit doesn't love her, when is she going to accept it?! Palutena entered the room, and saw Viridi in her state of distress.
Palutena: Pit told me everything Viridi did to make him love her - all the love potions and whatnot. Her persistence is perhaps her strongest asset!
"Do you need a tissue?" Palutena asked the goddess of nature, taking a seat next to her.
"No, I'm fine," replied Viridi, wiping the tears away. "Why won't he love me?! Does he love anyone else?"
"As far as I'm concerned, he doesn't really have a love interest. Maybe he's not ready for love yet, he is but an innocent soul. Just give him some time, and maybe one day he'll come around."
Viridi gave a heartfelt grin. Going by Palutena's words of advice, she'll just have to remain patient and hope for the best.
In his room, Mario was video chatting with Roy, Alph, and the male Inkling, telling him the good news about Isabelle and then some.
"So Isabelle hates garnering attention?" Roy raised an eyebrow.
"And Fox and Falco saved her life?" said Alph.
"She would-a have been a goner if it weren't-a for those two," Mario nodded. How grateful was he that Fox and Falco came. He'll be indebted to them for some time. "Anyway, how was-a your fabulous dinner?"
"Those pork chops were HORRIBLE!" the male Inkling grimaced. Considering Robin cooked them, it's not a surprise. "I gave my pork chops to the Pokemon in the sanctuary; they're just like Kirby, they'll eat anything given to them!"
"How's-a Bowser handling things in the sanctuary?"
"He got squashed by a Metagross," stated Roy. Not much of a surprise either... "His shell prevented him from substaining any serious injuries."
"But other than that, he's been doing a solid job caretaking for the Pokemon," added Alph.
"You got some guests," alerted Zero, who was staying in the room. Fox and Falco entered Mario's room...
"Came here-a to say you're sorry?" Mario raised an eyebrow. "Have you done it one-a too many times?"
"We still have a lot to get off of our chest," replied Falco.
"You can let-a whatever you have off-a of your chest in a later time. Right now, I have- to finish-a this video chat."
So Fox and Falco quietly exited the room, while Zero looked on.
Zero: As much harm as Fox and Falco have done, their shenanigans did lead to this nice cruise. We wouldn't have learned of Isabelle's diabetes if it weren't for them trying to find their way into the program of her laptop. So I understand why they're being all apologetic. Since I'm already here, I'll just relax and enjoy what this cruise has to offer...and who knows, I'll might even thank Fox and Falco for it.
