Episode 14: Foodstamps

Master Hand's room is a rather majestic room of sorts - many portraits of the brawlers fill up the walls, and exquisite rugs and mats line the floor. White curtain drapes hang from the windows, and they seem to compliment the room very well. On top of that, a chandelier hangs from the ceiling, illuminating the entire room with its brightness and beauty.

Sitting inside this room with Master Hand was Fox, Falco (holding Big Top), Knuckles, Little Mac, and Doc Louis. All of these individuals are associated with the fledgling record company Star Records - well, Doc has little association, he allowed Little Mac to sign with the company after the boxer enticed him with chocolate bars. Basically chocolate was all Mac needed to win over his trainer.

Also present in the room was Mario, Master Hand's second-in-command, and Isabelle, the lovely assistant. This cute yellow dog was taking notes on her notepad, and the conversation hasn't even started yet, so it's assumed that she's busy drawing random doodles and wasting precious notepad paper.

"Ryu has brought to my attention that you five individuals are attempting to jumpstart a record label," said Master Hand. He had to keep his voice moderately low, since his usual voice could shake the very room. "Is this true?"

"Three-fourths true," replied Doc Louis, happily chomping on a chocolate bar. "I only allowed Mac to partake in this record company thing if he promises to give me infinite chocolate bars!"

"Those chocolate bars are going to make you more obese than you already are..."

"Oh yeah, well Wario thinks he can eat all the junk food he wants, and he never gains any weight!" Doc Louis was rather feisty when he made this comment, and he cooled down immediately when he realized who he was going up against. Even if you're a tough-as-nails dude like Doc, you never would want to upset Master Hand.

Fox: Why would Master Hand of all people...erm, beings...be interested in some record company?
Falco: He might have an ulterior motive, he wants to use the company to make some dough and become ruler of the world! His number one goal: make hand fetishes acceptable everywhere!
Fox: Now I wouldn't mind hand fetishes, it doesn't sound that creepy. But if it were foot fetishes... *shudders*

"Anyways, back to the conversation at hand," Master Hand continued the conversation. "Where exactly is this Star Records located at?"

"As of this moment, there is no venue for Star Records!" Big Top replied. If Master Hand had a face, he would probably facepalm.

"So MC Ballyhoo originally started-a the record company, and he had-a yet to establish a venue..." stated Mario. Very, very peculiar in retrospect. Mario has known MC Ballyhoo as an opportunistic fellow during his time at the Star Carnival, so for the emcee to not find a venue already is quite startling, to say the least.

"We were thinking about starting the company here at the mansion, and expand from there," Falco said to Master Hand. The giant hand thought over this idea; had he possessed a chin, he would stroke it for an awfully long time.

"Starting the company here would be a feasible idea," he pondered. "After all, you do need to raise money to get that device for Whom-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named."

"And how might this person be?" asked Isabelle, waggling her tail out of utter intrigue.

"Let me handle the conversation Isabelle, and keep on taking notes, will you?"

"Yes sir..." Isabelle nodded nervously. She would never want to upset Master Hand, and face his wrath - a cute, cuddly person like her would be shambled by the hand's massive rage.

"There's a lot of spare rooms in the mansion, we could use one of them to set the company up," suggested Knuckles. Another thing for Master Hand to think over...and another instance he yearns for a chin to stroke. Is stroking Mario's chin worth it?

"What about-a the large room on the fifth-a floor?" asked Mario. The fifth floor is the highest floor of the mansion - a floor very few brawlers frequent. Greninja is one of the few brawlers that visit the fifth floor, and because he's such a mysterious Pokemon, his intentions for going up there have yet to be revealed.

"Nobody hardly uses the fifth floor in general, except for Greninja..." stated Master Hand. "...so it seems like a perfect fit for starting the record company. Congratulations Fox and Falco, you are now allowed to start Star Records on the fifth floor of this very mansion!"

"Sweet!" Fox exchanged high-fives with Falco. Knuckles and Little Mac silently pumped their fists in the air. And Doc Louis? He's too busy eating his beloved chocolate bars to give a care.

"I hope you will all remember the task at hand," Master Hand said sternly. "Whom-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named may not know it, but they're kinda depending on you..."

Isabelle: Who exactly is this Whom-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named? This person sounds so intriguing...hope they're not like Voldemort, being turned to stone if you say their name!...That's the reason why the wizards from Harry Potter referred to Voldemort as He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named, right?

"So how about that record deal?" Knuckles asked Fox and Falco. Like his friend Sonic, the echidna is always impetuously heading off into things.

"Woah Knuckles, let's chill out for a bit!" said Little Mac, trying to be a minor voice of reason. "We have a lot of stuff to take care of first!"


Being the mischievous person that he was, Pit is prone to pulling off pranks, some of which fall under the category of randomness, stupidity, or both. Today's prank was no different - the angel, with his trusty (and smarter) sidekick Kirby, was in the gaming room, poking people. No, not on Facebook - he was poking people physically. Ike was the first brawler to become victimized by Pit's ever-apparent stupidity.

"Sup Ike, mind if I poke ya?" Pit approached the swordsman, who was coolly leaning against the wall. In order to evince the confidence and swagger he so righteously has, he must externally show everyone that he has those qualities down pact.

"If you were a girl, then yes," answered Ike. "But there's no way I would let a dude..." Before he could finish, Ike was poked in the stomach by Pit. The swordsman frowned as he clenched his teeth in anger, and pulled out his sword. Pit just messed with the wrong guy!

"Save me Kirby!" the angel grabbed the pink puffball and used him as a living shield. Kirby is jovial all the time, and he's feeling that way right now, so he certainly doesn't mind about the possibility of being torn into pieces by Ike.

Kirby: *holds up a drawing off Pit using him as a shield against an angry Heihachi Mishima*

"Hi Pit!" Viridi sneaked up on Pit, causing the angel to scream and throw Kirby up in the air. The puffball was stuck in the ceiling, but with his happy self, he's probably enjoying it.

"I'll go retrieve your friend," Ike told Pit as he exited the gaming room and headed upstairs. Look at that Ike, such a great guy.

"So Pit, I've been wondering..." Viridi gave a cheesy grin, preparing herself for the question she was about to ask. "Do you...like me?"

"I...I guess," Pit simply shrugged. His response was all Viridi needed; the goddess of nature swelled up with joy inside.

Viridi: I don't believe it...he didn't say no! Other times when I asked him that question, he would be all like "Nah", or "No way"...but this time he didn't say any of that! We're making progress I tell you!

"Oh okay, I was just asking," said Viridi, too happy for words, even though she said a few just now. "Before I leave, I just can't thank you enough from saving me from Link."

"Link is usually that angry, it's not that much of a biggie," replied Pit. "Well, I should be going now."

"Wh-Where could you possibly be heading off to?" asked Viridi, feeling exasperated. Her working chemistry with Pit has to be kept up!

"Got a lot more people to prank with Kirby. We were just getting started..."

"You have been spending enough time with Kirby. Why not the both of us prank people together?" At first, Viridi was reluctant against pranking with Pit - going about poking random brawlers sounds very awkward - but she'll have to do whatever it takes to get on his side of things.

"Yeah that sounds like a great idea!" Pit nodded his head. Viridi, you're gonna regret doing this later. Best to get yourself out of this mess when you can.


"Villager and Alph really did that?!" Link reacted in the cafe, where Zelda was telling the Hylian about the horrendous skits she and the other brawler performed in the meeting room while tourism was running rampant in the mansion. He learned about Jacky's ridiculous flopping, Diddy riding atop Luigi like a horse, Ganondorf wearing a suit, Yoshi's messed up eardrums, and Wario evoking rage upon everyone because he never won anything for his group's skit. Link was discouraged to have missed out on so many funny moments and instances; if only his sword wasn't stolen.

"Our skit wasn't that great either," said Zelda. "Mario never gave us any time to rehearse, everything was rushed and disjointed."

"Pika pi!" Pikachu jumped atop the table Link and Zelda were sitting at. In his mouth was an envelope. Zelda could tell by the lettering on said envelope that it was specifically meant for her...or Sheik, rather.

"The postman must have been doing his usual rounds today," the princess assumed as she took the envelope and opened it, taking out a letter. Because what else would you fit inside a letter? "'Dear Sheik, I'm afraid that our usual grounds has been violated. Let's spend one last time together, before they take our freedom away. Sincerely, your best friend...'"

"Sheik has a best friend?" smirked Link. Ninjas are known to be individualistic and independent, so this was a bit of a shock for Link.

"You wouldn't understand..." Zelda replied, looking the other way.

Link: Sheik has a friend, huh? Zelda has a lot of things to tell us about her alter ego...like, what if she was actually a dude, according to fandom? That would really break Captain Falcon's heart...

Captain Falcon: Sheik is Zelda's alter ego? Gimme a break! Why would a gal like Zelda purposely transform into someone that's better-looking and more top-tier than her? Sounds like an act of desperation if you ask me!

"Where do you think you're heading?" Link asked Zelda as the princess got up from her seat. Clearly she's hiding something, Link just knows it.

"My business is none of your concern," Zelda replied as she exited the cafe. Link and Pikachu watched her leave.

"Zelda clearly knows more about Sheik than anyone else." Well duh, Sheik is Zelda's alter ego, after all! Zelda knows her alter ego like the back of her hand. "Perhaps some investigating will lead to some clues regarding Sheik. Wanna help out, Pikachu?"

"Pika!" the mouse Pokemon happily obliged. All Link needed one more companion, and he knew just the person...


At the fitness center, Cloud was busy lifting some heavy weights. He has been slack on his workouts ever since he arrived at the mansion, and even saw the muscle mass in his arms decrease - thankfully it was't anything dramatic. While the swordsman was working out, Link and Pikachu approached him.

"Sup Link, how's it going man?" asked Cloud, lifting the weights above him with all his strength. His friendship with Link is so strong, he can use his muscle memory to detect where the hero of Hyrule is.

"Cloud, I want you to join Pikachu and I in following Zelda," Link told the blonde. "She had received a letter sent to Sheik from some "best friend", and with the three of us, we can..."

"No, no, and no. Count me out on this."

Cloud: I suspect Captain Falcon to be behind this...no way Link out of the blue would want to follow his girlfriend around, just to see what Sheik's up to. Falcon might be upset about Zelda being in love, and is using Link to gain knowledge about Zelda. And when the time comes, he's gonna get Zelda to break up with Link, so he can be with her. That's just my two cents...wouldn't be astonished in the slightest if my theory were to come true.

"Fine then, have it your way," sighed Link. "Guess us two will be handling things by ourselves. The Hylian and his Pokemon companion departed from the fitness center.

"Dude seriously needs to get a grip," Cloud shook his head, continuing his weight lifting. He had better things to do than dabble in Link's mischief.


Sonic found something in the mansion's recycling bin that he probably shouldn't. And he was going to show it to his best friend Tails. He has no idea how the fox will react, but he hopes it won't be anything over-the-top.

"Hey Tails, buddy!" Sonic greeted his friend as he entered the room. "You won't believe what I found!"

"Oh boy, I can't hold in my excitement," Tails responded sarcastically. A noogie or a wet willie is what he most expects from these types of situations.

"Check it out!" Sonic revealed what he had in his hands - food stamps. Tails stared at them precariously, then looked at Sonic. The hedgehog's means of acquiring these stamps is what greatly concerned him.

"Sonic, where did you even get these?" Tails asked, nervously feeling that Sonic's discovery of the food stamps might lead to a jumbled mess with no solution.

"Found them in the recycling bin," Sonic coolly replied, seemingly bragging about his find. Dude would brag about printing a one-age essay in the printing room, like it's a major accomplishment.

Sonic: Have no idea how these food stamps are supposed to work, but by the looks of it, they look pretty neat! Perhaps I can start my own food stamps business, and raise more money than Wario! I might even put Wario Ware Inc. out of business! Only thing Wario would be able to do is swim in his own money...you know what, he deserves to keep his company.

"It would be best to give those food stamps away," suggested Tails, being the voice of reason. His reason never resonates on Sonic, however. "Food stamps are meant for low-income households, and they're given out by the government!"

"Who knows, Tails, these foods stamps might be for high-income households!" Sonic generalized, with his insensitive thinking. No such food stamps exist, for high-income families already have their wants and needs.

"Seriously doubt it, the government would never supplement nutritional assistance to families in the middle class and above. It would be asinine!"

"Middle-class families got to eat too!" Sonic pointed out, oblivious to what financial standings those middle-class families already have.

"Look, Sonic, I'm not gonna tarry on in this conversation anymore. Return those food stamps were they came from!"

"You want me to put them back in the recycling bin?"

"You know it, I'll handle this..." A frustrated Tails grabbed the food stamps and exited the room. Time to handle some business on his own...


Fox, Falco, Knuckles, Little Mac, and Doc Louis made their way to the fifth floor, which was practically deserted. Dust covered most of the hallways; a tumbleweed even bounced crossed.

"Mr. Game & Watch must have completely neglected this place..." remarked Fox. He hasn't seen a place so unkempt since he witnessed Falco's room at the hotel they were staying in.

"No matter, we must find the room to start Star Records!" said Little Mac. "I see a door!" The boxer pointed at a giant door in the middle of the hallway. It was neatly designed, and was the only thing that didn't have any dust on it.

"Let's open it!" Knuckles rushed to the door, and tried to open it. But it wouldn't budge, not one it. So he punched the door, and still nothing happened. Maybe if he had the Master Emerald, his punch would be much, much stronger.

Knuckles: Knew I should have brought the Master Emerald with me to the mansion...instead I had Big the Cat of all people to watch over it for me while I'm away...You said that Big accidentally threw the emerald overboard at a cruise?! The same cruise Sonic and I and the others were on?! Ooooh, that dumb cat's gonna get it now...

"You're doing it wrong," Little Mac approached Knuckles, unimpressed by the echidna's fruitless attempt. "This is how it's done!" The boxer winded up his arm, and punched the door with all his might...only to hurt himself. "Youch!" Mac took his glove off - revealing an unkempt hand - and massaged it. Thank goodness there's only four people in the hallway, in shock and awe of Little Mac's grotesque hand.

"Um, Little Mac...do you ever cut your fingernails?" a concerned Falco asked. Mac's fingernails were like that of a vulture's talons. His toenails are probably much worse...

"I wear my boxing gloves at all times, how am I supposed to know?!" responded Mac. Manicure is clearly not his forte.

"Well somebody gonna have to open that door sooner or later," stated Doc. "Need a place to store all these candy bars!" He seriously brought his candy bars with him? Typical Doc...


Mario whistled happily to himself as he strolled down the hallways of the mansion. His eye soon caught a distressed Mega Man X, interacting with the mansion's security system. The looks on his face suggest that something in the system went awry.

"Is-a there a problem?" Mario asked the robot. Next to X was a toolbox; rarely do you see a robot having to use one. Something is very wrong with the security system.

"Security system's acting up," replied X, clarifying the issue at hand. "It doesn't want to work anymore, no matter what solutions I find, I always keep getting an error message..."

"Hopefully no-a one didn't mess-a with the system."

"Oh, but I'm afraid someone has...on numerous occasions even!"

Mario gasped...then started to wonder why he gasped in the first place when the magnitude of the situation isn't as large as he's making it out to be.

X: This isn't the first time the security system has been hacked...in fact, I would say this would be the sixteenth time it's transpired. At this moment, I don't know any suspects behind the hackings...but if I could bet on one person, it would have to be King Dedede. He and the NME Salesman frequently hold chugging contests, and the king might have hacked the system just so the salesman can sneak in. Because if you look up online, the NME Salesman is a tad taller than Meta Knight...only human to my knowledge that can't operate a vehicle, let alone use the bathroom!

"A lot of smart-a folks in this mansion..." Mario stroked his chin. "...except for Pit." Thankfully he clarified that statement, it was already sounding false. "Foul-a play is definitely among the brawlers here."

"Why not interrogate everyone?" suggested X. "Have Master Hand at your side to guilt trip people into tell you what they know!"

"Good idea X, you're perhaps-a the smartest of the folks! Why-a is that so?"

"Because...I'm...a robot?" X eyed around conspicuously. Mario should feel ashamed to ask that question, he already knows the answer.

"Interrogation will-a start now. I have-a no time to lose!" Mario departed, leaving X back to working on the security system. Sure, he won't find a solution in due time, but it's not like he has anything else better to do.


Link and Pikachu looked everywhere for Zelda, but the princess was nowhere to be found. She wasn't in the kitchen, the gaming room, or the pit black room where Viridi had her table-lit meeting with Pit. (Who knows if that room will ever be used again.) So the duo went to Zelda's room to investigate and search for clues.

"Are you guys on a mystery case?" asked Lloyd, Zelda's roommate. Dude can't go a single minute without annoying anyone. "May I join?"

"Our business is none of your concern," replied Link, rummaging through Zelda's beauty products. Beauty products are no man's land for men, especially if they belong to your girlfriend.

Lloyd: I know why Link's working with Pikachu on a mystery case...he's recreating the Great Detective Pikachu game! By working with Pikachu, Link can understand the English he might be using, and together they can solve more mysteries around the mansion! Oh man, why didn't I solve mysteries with Pikachu earlier, I have no idea what I'm missing out on!

"You know, it's not nice to go through a lady's belongings," stated Lloyd. He's the resident snitch, so he'll tell Zelda all about what Link and Pikachu were doing in the room.

"Shut up and leave us alone," replied Link. Watch Lloyd snitch about Link's retort to Zelda too.

"Pika pika!" Pikachu held up a shuriken, lying atop Zelda's dresser. Link walked over to Pikachu and took the shuriken, holding it in his hand.

"Weird, I don't remember Sheik ever using shurikens before," the Hylian inspected the shuriken. Usually Sheik resorts to needles in her battles; shurikens are nowhere to be found in her arsenal.

"You're mystery is concerning Sheik?" Lloyd grinned. "Always knew you liked her more than Zelda, you're just hanging out with Zelda just so you can get closer to Sheik!"

"I don't like Sheik, and besides, her and Zelda are the same person." Lloyd himself doesn't seem to comprehend this, believing that Sheik is an early ancestor of Zelda that the princess of Hyrule transforms into in times of need. Changes in eye and hair color are the reasons for his strange rationale.

"Pika pi!" Pikachu said to Link, suggesting that the two depart from the loser that is Lloyd Irving and search for more clues elsewhere in the mansion. Granted, he didn't say the former part, but he wouldn't be lying if he did.

"More clues are abound!" Link said as he and Pikachu left the room, leaving Lloyd all by himself. The swordsman badly wanted to be a part of things, but his nature prevents him from being invited in any particular activity. He isn't the least likable person in the mansion for nothing...


As part of her little bonding with Pit, Viridi offered to take Kirby's place in some pranking around the mansion. This prank involved poking brawlers, and the concept was hard for Viridi to wrap her head around.

"How is poking people considered a prank?" Viridi asked Pit. The two were in the arcade room, and many brawlers were present - a perfect for Pit to do his pranking magic.

"So you know how you can poke people on Facebook?" the angel asked. "I'm going to ask brawlers if I can poke them - on Facebook! The prank failed kinda failed the first time around with Ike." Viridi was now starting to regret coming along with Pit for this "prank".

Viridi: Pit is a double-edged sword of sorts. He's overbearingly cute beyond words, but he's so dumb and stupid he couldn't even spell Lady's Palutena's name even if his life depended on it! But I love a good project...

"That's our first victim over there," Pit pointed at Heihachi, who was minding his own business while he was stealing arcade tokens without Pac-Man there to monitor the room. He's a villain, after all, so he has to remain true to his affiliation.

"Not so sure if this is a good idea..." said Viridi. Heihachi has all the looks of a bad dude - arched eyebrows, a wicked hairstyle, and a tiger kung fu outfit to boot. You definitely don't want to mess with this guy, ever.

"Just watch and learn..." Pit strolled to Heihachi, confident that the prank will work out well. "Heihachi, mind if I poke ya?" he asked the Japanese kung fu fighter.

"Pitto wa, anata ōheina orokamono wa, naze anata wa watashi o pranking ni kodawaru nodesu ka?" a furious Heihachi asked. "Anata ga saigo no jikan o oboeteinai, anata wa sore o yatta, anata wa ikite iru buki to shite anata no shin'yū kābyi o shiyō shimashita ka?"

"...So do you want to be poked or not?" At least Pit wasn't like Wolf, and immediately assumed Heihachi said yes, even though he had a mouthful to say.

"Īe, watashi wa tsuki suru koto o kyohi shimashita!" Heihachi growled, dropping the tokens and bracing himself for the beatdown he's going to lay on Pit. The angel whimpered in fright; he knew he should have pranked Toad, he's much less of a threat.

"Woah, woah, woah, settle down boys!" Pac-Man jumped in between Pit and Heihachi. "Just because I was helping Corrin with how to use a piggy bank doesn't mean you can't start any brawls while I'm away!" Corrin doesn't know how to use a piggy bank? Kids start using them at the age of five, is the guy really that sheltered?!

"Hey Pac-Man, you wanna be poked?" asked Pit. The yellow man gave the angel a questionable look; what honest person would ask someone such a question?

"I dunno man, I'm quite the ticklish fellow..." Pac-Man is like the Pillsbury doughboy, one little touch and he'll be giggling in an instant.

"No I mean a Facebook poke! You know, when you poke people online!"

"Ooh, I like the sound of that! Let me get my phone out now..."

"Mattaku tsuttsui wa sonzai shimasen!" Heihachi delivered a strong punch at Pac-Man, sending him flying out of the arcade room, before turning his attention to Pit. "Anata wa izen no itazura no tame ni shiharawanakereba narimasen!"

"Leave my precious Pit alone!" Viridi rushed to Pit's side, standing in front of the angel. She couldn't bear to see her love hurt in any capacity.

"Naze anata wa kono baka o aishi tsudzukeru ni jizoku shimasu ka? Kare wa nioi bakada, daremoga imamade kare o aishite inaideshou!"

"Have no idea what you're saying, but I know it's something negative about Pit. And for your information, he's the greatest person I've ever known!"

Heihachi Mishima: Viridi wa sono baka pitto de kanojo no jikan o muda ni sa rete imasu. Shikashi kanashī ka na, kanojo wa kanojo ga tsukutte iru machigai o jitsugen suru tame ni amarini mo koiwazuraidesu. Osokare hayakare, kanojo wa kanojo no kankaku ni kite, darekaga yori sumāto katsu shikaku no hidzuke yo...kurai pitto no yōna!

"Let's go Pit, we don't have to tarry here!" Viridi grabbed Pit's hand and the two exited the arcade room. Pit was all confused; he had yet to fully prank Heihachi!

"Anata wa sono shōnen to koiniochite kōkai suru tsumoridesu!" Heihachi called out to Viridi.


Inside the printing room, Tails was shredding the food stamps. Seeing how poor they were in quality, he thought that returning them to whoever they belonged to would be useless.

"Why was Sonic digging through the recycling bin in the first place?" asked Lucina, who assisted Tails in the shredding of the food stamps. She's certain that Sonic was in the recycling bin looking for chili dogs; it had to be the most viable reason for the hedgehog to be doing such a thing.

"Not sure, but then again, it's Sonic, he's very predictable," replied Tails. And would you know it, the hedgehog entered the printing room...with more food stamps. "Where do you find these food stamps from?!"

"From the recycling bin?" Sonic raised an eyebrow, though it is technically nonexistent. "C'mon Tails, add two plus two, it's not that hard to do..."

"I must dispose of these immediately!" Tails grabbed the food stamps from Sonic and threw them down the shredder. Their value would be gone forever.

"Ah well, have it your way! I'll go look in the bin again for more food stamps, I already redeemed of some them for..."

"You redeemed the food stamps?!" asked Lucina. "For what reason?!"

"So I could get some free food..." Sonic eyed around the room, believing that Lucina is at fault for being raised during medieval times. "Man, you and Tails are not that bright! And to think you're supposed to be geniuses..."

"Where is this free food? We must see!"


Sonic took Tails and Lucina to the dining room, and on the table was a boatload of food. Fruits, vegetables, dairy products, and even frozen pizza - you name it, Sonic got it.

Sonic: The workers at the supermarket were too nice! When I showed them the food stamps, and they asked why I even had them, I told them that Dr. Eggman had defeated me, and destroyed my home, leaving me as a homeless bum. They were all touched by my made-up story, and they took my food stamps and I got the food in the process! Bunch of chumps they are!

"Sonic, food stamps are actually meant for low-income families to use, you know that, right?" asked Lucina.

"Tried to tell him that earlier today..." sighed Tails. Apparently his plea didn't reach out to Sonic, not one bit.

"Thank you for this food, Sonic!" Robin approached Sonic. "With it, I can work on and perfect my cooking abilities!" His aspiration is to usurp Palutena as the mansion's head cook, and after taking into account the goddess of light's food quality, he feels that his goal is not that far from reach.

"Robin why are you allowing this behavior?" Lucina scolded the mage. Robin didn't seem to think anything was wrong. "Sonic is getting all this food off of food stamps, he's doing it all wrong!"

"Him getting food stamps to get food is better than depending on Wario to buy groceries," stated Robin. Wario usually buys junk food, he refuses to get anything healthy, because he claims it's not "American".

"So what if the government comes to us and..." Lucina was immediately shushed by Robin, who placed his finger on the swordswoman's lips.

"If, if, if...let's not jump to assertions and possibilities, just let this whole thing play out, and everything will be fine."

"Yeah, what he said!" Sonic agreed with the mage, if it meant he'll have freedom to continue using the food stamps.

"Fine, whatever, do what you want!" Lucina walked away from Robin, throwing her arms in the air out of frustration. "Don't come crying to me if you get reprimanded!" The swordswoman departed from the dining room. This is now Sonic and Robin's problem, not hers and Tails.

"Wait up for me, Lucina!" Tails called out to fox, before saying the following to Sonic: "You're gonna have to pay for this sooner or later, Sonic." Then he left the dining room, leaving Sonic and Robin by themselves. And what did Sonic have to say about what Tails just said?

"How can I pay for food stamps? Or the food I bought?" the hedgehog wondered. Oh yeah, Sonic is definitely going to get what's coming to him.


It was now time for Mario - or Dr. Mario - and Isabelle to interrogate brawlers, asking them if they were hacking the mansion's security system. (Dr. Mario had asked Master Hand to join in the interrogations, but the hand saw the issue as Mario's problem, since the plumber was present when the system was installed.) First up was Mewtwo, and the genetic Pokemon was sitting in a chair in Dr. Mario's office.

"You're a Psychic-a Pokemon, you must-a have used your mind to mess-a with the security system!" Dr. Mario interrogated. Mewtwo looked offended by Mario's accusation; does his Pokemon knowledge, or the lack thereof, knows any bounds?

"Stereotyping much?" Mewtwo glared down Dr. Mario.

Mewtwo: Just because I'm some Psychic-type Pokemon doesn't mean I have some "mind-controlling abilities" as Dr. Mario believes. Nothing but baseless stigmatism if you ask me, you wouldn't assume Pikachu or Pichu have control over the electronics because they're Electric-type Pokemon, would you?

"Where were-a you during the time-a of 4 o' clock in the morning?" Dr. Mario randomly asked. Most Pokemon don't stay up for that long.

"Asleep like everyone else in the mansion," replied Mewtwo. Dr. Mario slapped the Pokemon silly. Was that not the right answer?

"Wrong! You sleep in the Pokemon-a sanctuary, not the mansion! Know your-a place!"

"Well it's located within the Smash Mansion sooooo..."

"Are you-a getting smart with me?!" Dr. Mario's blood pressure raised. His face turned red, and nose was steaming out of his nose. Red face, and steaming nostrils - once you reached this peak of madness, there's not much you can do to revert back to your normal self.

"Dr. Mario, calm down!" Isabelle soothed Dr. Mario. "Mewtwo didn't inherently mean it...right, Mewtwo?"

"Yeah I wish..." Mewtwo scoffed.

Next up for interrogation was Mario's own brother, Luigi. This tall plumber seems like a meek and innocent fellow, but Dr. Mario didn't buy it, not one bit.

"I did-a nothing Mario, please release me at once!" implored Luigi. Of course he can't go a single minute without begging or whining.

"Not until we are-a done here!" frowned Dr. Mario. "And it's-a Dr. Mario, for your information! Anyways, we need-a to clarify a few things, like...when was the last-a time you and Daisy spoke?"

"Since we decided on-a our wedding date a few weeks-a ago." Luigi has only shared the information with Cloud, and still no one knows the date.

"What-a is the date?" Dr. Mario asked, sounding intrigued. How could Luigi keep the information secret from his own brother? Not cool, Luigi, not cool!

"Um...June-a 3rd?" June is the most popular month to get married, especially when you take the weather into consideration. This date also gives Luigi a great time-frame to make necessary plans for the wedding.

"How dare-a you get engaged and set a wedding-a date before I!" Dr. Mario slapped Luigi, feeling a very strong need to slap someone.

Dr. Mario: I must-a admit, Mewtwo and Luigi have somewhat-a "slappable" faces...maybe it's because-a of Mewtwo's cheekbones...and Luigi's long face...my urge to slap-a others knows no bounds whatsoever!

"Luigi, before Daisy's birthday party began, did you hack the security system so you can let some "unwanted guests" inside the mansion?" asked Isabelle. So far she's the only reasonable person during the interrogations.

"Why I would-a never do such a thing!" attested Luigi, only to get slapped by Dr. Mario for a second time. Maybe Dr. Mario was right, maybe Luigi does have a very slappable face... "Why me..."

"If that's-a the case, then why did-a Waluigi show up at-a the party?" the doctor asked.

"Because he was begging-a you to invite him online?" Dr. Mario tried to remember this; an image of him, under his normal persona, letting Waluigi inside the mansion appeared in his head.

"Ah yes, I remember know. I'll-a let you off the hook...for-a now. You may leave."

The third person to be interrogated was Bayonetta. Dr. Mario has been dying to ask her questions; regardless of the situation, he always views the Umbra Witch as a major suspect.

"So the security system was hacked?" said Bayonetta, smiling in a seductive way. "Cheeky..."

"Don't play-a dumb with me lady!" frowned Dr. Mario. A common trait of Dr. Mario - thinking the defendant is downplaying the situation by displaying a lack of knowledge. Master Hand told the doctor Isabelle should just handle things, and that he sits back and watch...and he said that for a good reason.

"We only called you forth because we believe that you're a strong candidate for the security system's hacking...and also because Dr. Mario is somewhat paranoid about you," stated Isabelle. The incident from episode 2 might have something to do with the doctor's paranoia. "Do you have any intelligence about who might have hacked the security system?"

"Hmmm, let me think..." Bayonetta thought over the question. If she wants to get out of Dr. Mario's office and resume her life, she would have to come up with a clever and genuine response that Dr. Mario and Isabelle won't be able to see through. "I believe it was..."

"YOU DID-A IT! I KNEW IT ALL ALONG!" Dr. Mario wrongly accused Bayonetta. "Always knew you were-a up to no good! Isabelle, throw her out of the mansion immediately!"

"But she didn't even claim herself to be guilty!" stated Isabelle. "And only Master Hand has the final say on who leaves the mansion!" Master Hand's proposition is looking very smart right now...

"Forget-a Master Hand, he's not a part-a of these interrogations!" Isabelle is getting a little frightened by Dr. Mario's temper...and something else.

"Mario get a hold of yourself man!"

"That's-a Dr. Mario to..." Dr. Mario began as he turned around...and saw Master Hand behind him. "...you?" He finished, suddenly intimidated by whom he was speaking to. Master Hand is the one guy - or being - that you don't want to mess with.

Master Hand: Some doctor Mario is...he didn't even know Isabelle had diabetes until Fox and Falco intruded upon her privacy on her laptop. Why in fact, he has yet to have a doctor's appointment with any of the brawlers! He knows I purposely didn't afford any insurance! I don't want that decision to go to waste because of his incompetence!

"Have you found the perpetrator behind the security system hacking?" asked Master Hand, his voice booming even in the smallest of capacities, such as Dr. Mario's office.

"Oh yes, it was-a Bayonetta!" Dr. Mario quickly nodded his head, thereby giving away the feelings of fright and guilt.

"Not trying to save face, are you?" Bayonetta rested her hand on her cheek in a inquisitive manner.

"Show me the evidence that Bayonetta did it," demanded Master Hand. Dr. Mario looked around for "evidence" - anything that would prove to Master Hand Bayonetta is the perpetrator, even though she did no wrong.

"Aha!" Dr. Mario held up in his hand the only "evidence" he could find...a toothpick. A lousy toothpick. You can hack any system with a toothpick.

"That toothpick proves absolutely nothing. I'm going to need more hard-proof and concrete evidence to know that Bayonetta was the one that hacked the system. Isabelle, do you have any evidence to show to me?"

Isabelle bit her paw with her mouth, scared of what to do. Should she out Dr. Mario, and explain to Master Hand that no perpetrator has been found, or save Dr. Mario's behind by finding useless evidence? Knowing who she was going up against, the dog knew what was the best thing to do.

"Contrary to what Dr. Mario has told you, Master Hand, no perpetrator has been found," Isabelle stated. Dr. Mario's jaw literally dropped to the floor; how can she do him like that?! "Dr. Mario has been very hard during these interrogations, and we haven't gotten anywhere."

"Isabelle speaks the truth," said Bayonetta. "Don't believe her? Go ask Mewtwo and Luigi, they have been marginalized by the great Dr. Mario..."

"I see..." mused Master Hand. He's really desiring a giant chin to stroke. "Alright, Mario, or Dr. Mario, I don't care - either you find out the perpetrator before the end of the day, or you'll be sorry! Very, very sorry! Do I make myself clear?"

"Yes sir, you got it!" Dr. Mario hurriedly nodded his head. Never had he been under this much pressure under Master Hand.


Fox, Falco, Knuckles, Little Mac, and Doc Louis - but mostly everyone except for Doc, who was too busy eating his candy bars - were busy trying to pry open the giant door in the hallway of the fifth floor. They tried everything, but nothing could seem to get the door to budge.

"Sup fellas?" Captain Falcon greeted the men, accompanied by Zero. Neither Falcon nor Zero are familiar with the fifth floor, so they came to investigate.

"Master Hand said that you're setting up the record company up here, is that right?" asked Zero.

"Yeah, we're trying to start it up in this room, but the door won't move an inch," stated Fox. The pilot sat on the floor panting, after his many door-opening attempts failed miserably.

"Can you help us out?" asked Big Top, who sat on the floor and had watched the others work their butts off. Dude's gleeful he doesn't have any arms.

"Perhaps a secret knock is what you need!" Captain Falcon walked up to the door, and did a intricate knock. It was very complex - the flow, pattern, and variety has never been accomplished before!

"Get lost, and leave us alone!" a voice emitted from the door - a distinctly female voice. At least there was someone - or some people - behind the door.

"Several people must be inside that door!" exclaimed Little Mac. "They're probably trapped..."

Falco: By the sounds of it, a girl is locked behind that door! Sure hope it's a girl, and not some...guy with a high-pitched voice. But if it is a girl, I'll ask her out right away! Can't stay single forever!

"Perhaps a wicked Falcon Punch will save them!" Captain Falcon said as he braced himself. Fire surrounded the racer, and the others were weary. Never have they seen Falcon so pumped up in their lives.

"I don't think it's necessary Falcon, we don't want to injure anyone..." stated Zero, looking for a nearby fire extinguisher to use in case things go awry.

"Have any you seen Zelda anywhere?" asked Link, who arrived at the fifth floor with Pikachu. In his hands was some clues he found - a shuriken, a ninja headband, and even a trophy that looked like something out of the Underworld. "Pikachu and I have been looking all over for her, and she's nowhere to be found..."

"You're not stalking Zelda, are you?" Fox raised an eyebrow. He had once considered stalking his girlfriend Krystal before, just to ensure that she wasn't seeing any other men, but knowing the consequences and repercussions of doing so, he decided against it.

"Ggggrrrrhhh..." Captain Falcon was getting even more pumped up. The flames was causing the temperature in the hall to raise expediently...

"Pit, can we quit it with this whole poking prank thing?" Viridi implored Pit as the two reached the fifth floor. Pit had suffered minor injuries from a few brawlers he tried to prank - a black eye from Wario, a sore knee from Ganondorf, and a bruise on his belly from Donkey Kong. Viridi did her darndest to talk the angel out of it, but Pit refused to listen.

"We won't stop until I successfully prank someone!" proclaimed Pit. "Or until you give it a shot. Whichever comes first. Why not prank Captain Falcon over there, he certainly wouldn't mind!"

"I don't think that's such a great idea..." Viridi saw that Falcon was now cloaked in flames. Is anyone going to call 9-1-1 and get a fire truck over here?!

"You'll never catch us!" Sonic sped inside the fifth floor, speeding past Pit and Viridi before handing the foot stamps in his hands to Knuckles. Apparently he found more of these food stamps, when will he ever learn? "Hide these right away!"

"Wait where did you even find these things?" Knuckles questioned, just when Robin entered the fifth floor panting and collapsing on the ground. Food stamps fell out of his hands in scattered across the floor.

"My legs have given up on me..." panted Robin. Dude was running like he was a track-and-field star, and he paid the price with extreme exhaustion. Pikachu eyed the food stamps near him, and picked one up.

"Pika pi?" the mouse Pokemon saw a picture of Bahamut on the food stamp he was holding. That could only mean one thing...

"It's over Sonic, hand over the food stamps immediately!" Tails entered the fifth floor, with Lucina right behind him. Must have been a wild goose chase going on inside the mansion...

Tails: Just when I thought Sonic came to his senses and got rid of the food stamps...he dug inside the recycling bin for more and redeemed them for even more food. Why hasn't Master Hand punished him yet?

"Hand us the food stamps or else!" Lucina commanded Sonic. But the hedgehog held up his hands, showing that he had nothing in his possession.

"What are these food stamps you speak of?" the hedgehog questioned. "I don't see any food stamps anywhere!"

"Then what is Pikachu doing right now?" Tails asked as Pikachu was shuffling through the food stamps, inspecting the design of each and every single one of them.

"Oh, uh, he's getting rid of them for me! Nice Pokemon..."

"Pika pika!" Pikachu held up a food stamp in his hand. Evidently he wants everyone to see.

"Aha, some-a evidence!" Mario showed up, grabbing the food stamp from Pikachu. "With these-a food stamps, I can prove whoever hacked-a the security system!" But will Master Hand accept this "evidence"?

"We have yet to find the actual perpetrator," stated Isabelle, who is accompanying Mario, though she had considered ditching him because of his ever-increasing insanity. "How will the food stamps help us?"

"Only one-a way to find out...who found these food-a stamps?"

"This guy!" exclaimed Sonic, pointing his thumbs at himself. It only took him a couple of seconds to realized what he just done. "Did I seriously out myself...?"

"So it was-a you!" Mario pointed at the hedgehog, who had no idea why he's being accused at all. "Always knew I slimy hedgehog like you would..."

"Falcon..." Captain Falcon has finally reached his limit, all the energy built up inside of him was ready to be unleashed.

"Um, guys..." Lucina tried to direct everyone's attention to the race car driver, fearful of the punishing attack he was ready to perform.

"PUNCH!" With all his might, Captain Falcon Falcon Punched the door, knocking it down on the floor with a thud.

And sitting inside the spacious room, at a circular table having a tea party, was Sheik, Greninja...and some female ninja. Everyone looked inside the room, and needless to say, they were all perplexed, mostly at the guest.

"Told you we should have barricaded the door!" the ninja girl snapped at Greninja. The ninja Pokemon looked away, too ashamed to look at Yuffie. What would a Water-type Pokemon like Greninja know about barricading doors?

Greninja: *holds head in sadness and sighs deeply*

"Who are you, and where did you come from?!" Mario furiously asked the ninja girl. Another ninja inside the mansion is not what the plumber expected.

"Seriously, you call yourself the most recognizable video game character, and you don't even know who I am?" said the ninja girl, feeling disgusted. Being from the gaming franchise she hails from should at least give her some notoriety. "The name's Yuffie Kisaragi, and I'm from Wutai. Bet you don't even know what that is, do you?"

"Yuffie Kisaragi...from Final Fantasy?" Link raised an eyebrow. Meeting Yuffie at the mansion of all places was a bit extraordinary.

"Yup, that's right! And these two right here - Sheik and Greninja - are two of my best friends! I even share some of my stuff with them!" The shuriken, the ninja headband, and the trophy - these were items Yuffie presumably shared with Sheik (and perhaps Greninja as well).

"Greninja has friends," Pit quietly snickered. Most people assumed Greninja to be the strong anti-social type, not wanting to be friends with anyone - or anything for that matter.

"I would sneak inside the mansion every week just to have tea parties with these two. When you installed that dumb security system, it became harder for me to get inside without being detected. So, I found a way to hack the system, and continue our tea parties without interruption! Though it would be nice if I didn't leave lying about the food stamps I steal from random people in the forests outside the mansion...I keep forgetting to retrieve them..."

"Food stamps?" asked Sonic, beginning to feel slightly guilty...

"Finding food in the forest is quite the hassle, so I just steal food stamps so I can get some actual grub."

"You're not talking about these, are you?" Sonic grabbed the food stamps from Knuckles and showed them to Yuffie. The ninja's eyes widened.

"That's it! The food stamps from Midgar! With the Bahaumut designs! Where'd you find these?!"

"In the recycling bin outside the mansion. Mr. Game & Watch is in charge of what goes in the recycling bin, so you should be thanking him for not shredding them or anything like that...but, since I found these for you, I deserve more thanks than..."

"Stop," commanded Tails. Just in the nick of time, before Sonic goes on with his cocky and arrogant self.

Sonic: Well I did show to Yuffie that the food stamps were in one peace...is that not enough credit? And Tails said that I was gonna pay for the food stamps...but not a single penny was spent! Boy I tell you, that kid makes anything an overblown issue!

"Mario!" Master Hand randomly appeared behind the plumber, startling him. "Have you found the perpetrator yet?"

"The black-haired girl sitting at the table over there was the one that hacked the security system," explained Mario. The burden of "having to pay" for his inability to crack the case was finally lifted off Mario's shoulders.

"A non-brawler dares to hack the system and sneak inside MY mansion?!" Master Hand's booming voice caused some of the ceiling to crumble. Yuffie cowered in fear, realizing she just upset the most powerful being in the Smash Universe. "Why did you do it, little girl?!"

"Because I just wanted to spend some quality time with Sheik and Greninja in the privacy of this room..." Yuffie bowed her head. "And the word out is that this room is going to be used to start up some dumb recording company..."

"Girl you better take that back..." threatened Falco, his hot-headed temper boiling. Good thing Fox is there to soothe his avian friend.

"Hmmm...I see. Perhaps we can work out a proposition that will be satisfying for both parties."


So it was decided. Fox and Falco finally got the room on the fifth floor so they could begin Star Records. After everything was set up, Knuckles signed the company's first-ever record deal, and Little Mac signed the second. Doc Louis was a proud man...proud because with the company's earnings, he can get as much chocolate as he wants.

As for Yuffie and her pals, Master Hand - against his will - ordered Mr. Game & Watch to building a basement for the mansion, so the three ninjas can have their little tea parties. And speaking of tea parties...

"You're telling me you've been attending tea parties...and you never invited me?!" whimpered Peach, as Zelda was telling her about the tea parties she was having under her Sheik alter ego in the foyer.

"It's strictly ninja's only," Zelda explained without having to hurt Peach's feelings anymore. Concerning the topic of tea parties, Peach's emotional state is a mere equivalent of fine china. "But if you can adopt a ninja persona or alter ego, then maybe you can join us."

Peach: Ooh...a ninja persona sounds so tempting...but so un-ladylike at the same time! Having to get your hands dirty, and all this stealth and stealing items and...how does a dignified lady like Zelda able to pull that off?

Also present in the foyer was Yuffie, who was speaking with Cloud. X had warned the young ninja that if she ever dares to hack the security system again, for any reason at all, she would be permanently banned from the mansion. And yes, that order was carried down from Master Hand. You seriously think X can be the authoritarian type? You must be out of your mind.

"Hacking security systems..." Cloud shook his head at Yuffie. "That is so like you. Had no idea you were a tech-savvy genius."

"Well I am a ninja..." Yuffie pointed out, suspecting if Cloud has completely forgotten what she is fully capable of. "All that tech-savvy stuff is extracurricular for us ninjas, by the way."

"Um, excuse me, but...do you mind if I poke you?"

Yuffie looked down, at saw Viridi. The goddess of nature was fiddling with her hands - what could she be possibly up to?

"You want to poke me?" smirked Yuffie. She was open to letting Viridi poke her...as long as she doesn't pull off anything funny. "Go ahead, I won't budge."

"Okay then, I'll poke you...on Facebook!"

"Wait, what?" Yuffie looked around confused, while Viridi was manically laughing to herself. Yuffie looked at Cloud, who simply shrugged; not even he knows what's going on.

"You did it!" exclaimed Pit, who sat a distance away from Viridi stuck in a wheelchair. Apparently he pranked Bowser -who's still on crutches - not so long ago, and the Koopa King gave the angel the beating of the lifetime. Now Pit he had listened to Viridi earlier...but at least he has Viridi pranking Yuffie to relish in.

Pit: I thought Bowser would be the perfect dude to prank. He was still ailing from the injury he suffered at the Pokemon sanctuary, and my belief was that if he retaliated with violence, he wouldn't be that effective because he's on crutches. Man I'm such a moron...
Dark Pit: *walking by* Took you long enough to figure that out...

"How did I do?" Viridi went over to Pit, gleeful as ever. Who knew pranking was this fun?

"You were awesome! Wanna go prank Lloyd?"

"Nah, he would be too easy...why not Yoshi?"

"I like the way you're thinking!" grinned Pit. Viridi pushed Pit on the wheelchair, and the two went away. Yuffie watched rather closely...

"Are those two...in love?" she asked Cloud. The swordsman thought over this for a bit, taking into account how Pit acted with Viridi just now.

"Yeah, I'd say so..." he responded.