Author's Note:

I know I already stated this in the last chapter, but there's a TV Tropes page for this story, created by my friend YoKaiShoubiao. You're more than welcome to edit the page if you like, provided you have a TV Tropes account - I have an account myself, but I keep forgetting my login information. Also, I'm too lazy to edit that page anyways. I'm too lazy to even edit my own Fanfiction profile, for crying out loud. Though some of you may have known that already. Anyways, on to the guest reviews:

"Will you include other characters from the Final Fantasy VII franchise? (Denzel, Marlene, Shelke Rui, Shalua Rui, and Genesis Rhapsodos) a chapter with Pit and Viridi hanging out with the Resident Evil characters? Is Vyse going to be paired up with Aika or Fina? has Captain Syrup from the Wario Land games shown up yet? Maybe a Super Robot Wars chapter? (Since Banpresto is part of Namco Bandai) and finally how soon will the other SEGA characters appear?"

Maybe. Perhaps. Vyse will be paired up with Fina. Captain Syrup has yet to appear. Don't know about a Super Robot Wars chapter. More SEGA characters should be appearing in the next month or two. Next up is Derick Lindsey:

"...quick question when are you going to reveal the culprit will it be another few weeks or will it be less then a month from now?"

Actually, it'll be MORE than a month from now. So I guess you can say it's the next arc of this story. J300 has brought to my attention something I feel stupid for not noticing until now...

"I just want to say, congratulations on reaching the one million [word] mark next chapter (at least with the length of the chapters I think that will happen)! I am a horrible writer, so seeing someone who writes as well as you write that much makes me happy for you."

Thanks a bunch! I haven't really paid much attention to the word count as of late until you pointed that out. Now for your request:

"Can Cranky break the fourth wall with the million word mark? (Not sure if it would work, but hey, he's Cranky Kong, he breaks the fourth wall all the time)."

Squeezed in a cameo from Cranky Kong in this chapter just to mark the achievement. Keep in mind that I may or may not be responsible for whatever comes out of that geezer's mouth.


Episode 84: Beachday

Ah, summer - one of the four seasons, taking place in the middle of the year. Summer was a perfect time for hot days, going to the pool, celebrating the Fourth of July, playing with friends, and cracking a cold one with the boys (if you're into that kind of thing, that is).

Summer was also a great opportunity to go on vacation, to go to a beach or two a foreign city. The state of Washington was home to many vacation spots, like the Roche Harbor Resort in San Juan Island, the Kalaloch Lodge at Olympic National Park, and many, many others. The mansion residents had already went on a vacation before, back in episode 64, only for their vacation to abruptly end when Donkey Kong inadvertently pulled a Harambe just to save Lucas from a gorilla enclosure. Akuma had paid for all the vacation expenses, and those expenses were wasted, all thanks to Donkey Kong.

But fortunately for Akuma, Donkey Kong, and others, the residents would be going on yet another vacation, as a suggestion from Mega Man. The blue bomber and MegaMan .EXE had brought Marie over to the mansion following their recent trip to Inkopolis, and they both promised the Inkling they would keep her happy and content, and not be constantly fretting about the current whereabouts of her Squid Sister, Callie. Mega Man told Master Hand all about Marie's presence, and asked the giant hand if he could treat Marie and the mansion residents to a little vacation, like a day at the beach...to which Master Hand was quick to oblige.

Master Hand: About to embark on our vacation - we'll be spending a day or two at Alki Beach, here in Seattle. Honestly I wouldn't consider this vacation an actual vacation...feels more like a field trip, since we'll still be in the city. But this was what Mega Man wanted, and nobody felt like going somewhere that was across the country, or to some distant country...uncultured folk, I tell you.

Marie and the mansion residents traveled to Alki Beach via bus, and everyone was at peace knowing that this bus wasn't driven by Waluigi. Whole trip would've been most likely cancelled if Waluigi was even spotted inside the transportation vehicle. The bus, which was the AutoTram Extra Grand bus featured in episode 79, was driven by Toad, who wished to give the bus a spin. Inside the bus, the occupants did everything they could to keep themselves busy and entertained until Toad arrived at Alki Beach, where there was a lot of beachgoers having fun and enjoying their time under the sun.

"Drat, why are there so many people at this beach?" frowned Master Hand as he and the residents filed out of the bus; Viridi was sharing Master Hand's sentiments, though she was ticked just because she didn't like humans in general. Though she was kinda warming up to them after her initial meeting with Luke. "Told you renting out this beach just for us would have been a killer idea!"

"So basically you wanted me to pull a Chris Chrstie and rent out the entire beach so we could get in trouble," stated Ayaha, who was wearing a swimsuit. Her sister Tsubasa and the other Star Records ladies - unpacking the beach essentials from the bus - where all wearing bikinis, so expect them to accrue some onlookers as the day went on.

"You would be the only person getting in trouble; I'd just tell everyone that renting out the beach was entirely your idea, and nobody would dare to accuse me." Either way, people would still figure out Master Hand played a role in renting out the beach. He's too big of an influence, no pun intended. "Now, I must ensure that everyone is here, I'd hate to return to the mansion and see someone like Pit still getting prepared. Then again, we are at the beach, so it's not like Pit would need to prepare anyways..."

"Actually Master Hand, I think everyone has left for the beach," stated Toad, as he got out of the bus, and he was right - only individuals standing near the bus was Master Hand, Ayaha, and Toad, the drug lord. No doubt he was going to sell some good crack today at the beach, if he can find any suitable customers.

"How dare they leave without me telling them what they can and cannot do at the beach! Those unruly folk, they will pay their negligence..."


Resting on the beach chairs were three married couples, basking in the sun - Mario and Peach, Alm and Celica, and Luigi and Daisy, with Poochy and Polterpup next to them playing in the sand. Upon hearing about this day at the beach, Luigi quickly implored Master Hand about bringing Daisy, Charles, Yuffie, and maybe Polterpup along, and Master Hand, seeing how bored Luigi and company would be while the residents were having fun, accepted Luigi's offer...although he kinda wanted to see the plumber suffer, just a little.

"Say, Luigi, where is your baby boy, Charles?" Alm asked the green plumber; this was an excellent opportunity for Alm and Celicia to get to know Luigi and Daisy a little better, since the Valentian couple hardly got to communicate with Luigi and Daisy ever since they joined the mansion. "And what about that ninja girl living with you, Yuffie, what is she up to?"

"I've entrusted-a Link and Cloud in babysitting Charles, I do hope-a that Sora doesn't bother those-a two, and aggravate Cloud to the point-a where he would be off-a task," explained Luigi, who has heard all sorts of tales about Sora and Cloud from Mario and Peach. "As-a for Yuffie, I think she's-a getting ready for a volleyball-a game with Tsubasa and a few-a others."

Tsubasa: Asuka was the one who challenged me to a volleyball game - she said that she and her classmates would have volleyball games back at Hanzo Academy, and she has always wanted to play a game of beach volleyball with us. So I took up upon her offer, and we both started putting together our teams, so, uh...may the best team win!

Amy: Really happy Sonic asked me if I wanted to go with him to the beach, he truly is a great boyfriend! But yeah, Asuka asked me if I wanted to be on her volleyball team, and I was quick to tell her yes. Who doesn't love volleyball? Hopefully our team won't be full of scrubs...

Robin: Tsubasa asked me if I wanted to join her volleyball team. Unless this volleyball game is anything like the one from Avatar, I'm forfeiting...

Standing as far away from the ocean as possible was Marie, who was alone by herself, holding her parasol over her head. Since Inklings were "allergic" to water, and would dissolve if any form of water came in contact with them, just like the Wicked Witch of the West, Marie had to keep away from the coastline. Given this information, one has to wonder why going to the beach was a good idea. Then again, Sonic despises much as Inklings do...

"Look at poor Marie, all by herself..." observed Peach, looking to her left and seeing the lone Inkling, soaking in everything that was taking place at the beach - the youngins running about in the dirt, the broskies hamming it up and acting reckless, Hisui attempting to flirt with every lady he saw...only for his sister Kohaku to stop him each and every time. "She must still be worried sick about Callie, that I'm certain. Perhaps going to the beach to cheer her up wasn't the best idea..."

"Our beach day would be worth it if there was someone to keep her company," stated Celica, who may or may not be referring to Mega Man and .EXE. Those two robots brought Marie over to the mansion, so why weren't they spending most of their time with the Inkling. "Why don't we go spend some time with Marie? You boys wouldn't mind, would you?"

"The contentment of another always-a comes first, if I do say-a so myself," replied Mario, who was exposing poor beachgoers to his hairy chest. Peach should have reminded him to wax his chest prior to the beach day. "You ladies are-a excused - take as much time-a with Marie as you like!"

So Daisy, Peach, and Celica all got up from their beach chairs and went to go speak with Marie, leaving poor Luigi and Alm with Mario and his ghastly chest of hair. The three ladies would see Marie, adorned in her kimono and holding her parasol, standing near what appeared to be a mini Statue of Liberty. The Inkling was delighted to see the three ladies make her way towards her, because she was about to get some actual company.

"Hello Peach, Daisy, and Celica," Marie would greet the three princesses. The Inkling seemed to appear more friendly and calm since she made her "Smash Life" debut with Callie back in episode 42. "Cared to join me at this Statue of Liberty?"

"We couldn't stand to see the 'guest of honor' all by herself, so we came to provide you with some great company," explained Daisy, putting a smile on Marie's face. "Mega Man and .EXE, the nerve of those two...brought you to Seattle, treating you to a day at the beach...and what do they do? Leave you here all alone by yourself, with nothing to do but watch the others have fun!"

"Actually, Mega Man told me he was going to get me a drink, and advised me to remain at this statue until I returned. I should have told him just to get me some food since, you know, I can't really drink any liquids because of my vulnerability to water, and I fear that..."

"...you have nothing to fear Marie, as long as you're with us," reassured Peach, lying an assuring hand on Marie's shoulder. "Mega Man isn't exactly the best person to hang around with; granted he's a robot, but sometimes he does some...pretty irrational things. You should hang out with us, you won't regret it!"

So Marie, seeing Peach, Daisy, and Celica as already better company than Mega Man, followed the three princesses to who-knows-where, ready to embark on a day of fun...a while after the four ladies left, Mega Man showed up at the Statue of Liberty, holding a cup with some substance.

"Marie where'd you run off to, I got you a cup of ink!" Mega Man frantically looked around for the Inkling in question. Good call by the robot fetching some ink instead of a bottle of water, or soda, as Marie had feared. "Come back Marie, you wouldn't believe the trouble I went stealing this ink from the nearest copy place! Please make the trouble I went through worth it, please!"


Pit: Since Kirby wanted to ruin the prank we were gonna pull on Mario and Peach, for reasons unknown, we're decided to prank someone at the beach, thus ending our little pranking "hiatus".
Kirby: Yeah, keep putting the blame on the person who doesn't even have an anus, or a butt for that matter...anyways, we have been spending the past week figuring out who to prank, and what we should do with our prank, and the answer dawned upon us when King Dedede said that he was bringing a portable cassette player with him to the beach, to tune out all the noises so he can relax in peace. But as George W. Bush and the Iraqi nations have proven, sometimes you can't have peace, even if you wanted to, and King Dedede is going to learn that lesson the hard way once he undergoes our prank. We're going to make Dedede's day at the beach a living heck!
Pit: *raises an eyebrow* "A living heck"? That doesn't sound right. Don't you mean a living he...
Kirby: Shut up Pit, there's young kids around...

Preparations for the volleyball game were being made, with Donkey Kong and Bowser setting up the volleyball net. Donkey Kong was on Tsubasa's team, and Bowser was on Asuka; both Tsubasa and Asuka felt like they needed a powerful volleyball player to aid them in their chances of winning.

"Your team is gonna get creamed, Donkey Kong, I'm just giving you a warning!" Bowser trash talked the gorilla as the volleyball net was about finished being set up. "We're gonna make you losers the biggest jokes on this beach, and I'm gonna flat out dominate and show everyone that I'm the real deal! Following my dominant performance, I expected to be hand-fed grapes and soda by hot babes flanking at my side!"

"If the hot babes you speak of are the ladies from Star Records, then I'm afraid your fantasy may not come true," stated Donkey Kong, as he and Bowser finished setting up the volleyball net. "Would be a bad look for them if they were seen feeding you and your ugly self, especially given your history with..."

"The female idol singers being the hot babes? You do realize Mamori is one of those singers, right? Did you just refer to a minor like Mamori as a hot babe?! What kind of weird sicko are you?! I know you had relations with Pauline, who I believe is Mario's mother, but goodness gracious man, sometimes you have to chill!"

"Pretty sure it was only Cranky Kong who had relations with Pauline...Pauline and I, we're just friends, and by no means are we going any further than that!"

The conversation between Bowser and Donkey Kong would come to an end before it reached high levels of animosity, when some scientist dude approached the two on some hoverboard, holding a red ray gun in his hand. This scientist had black hair, yellow skin, and a large "N" on his gigantic forehead, perhaps the most noteworthy trait about his physical appearance. With this scientist was a floating black mask, with a seemingly permanent scowl on his face. Donkey Kong and Bowser were silently debating among themselves who was uglier - the floating mask, or the scientist. Not that hard for one to outdo the other.

"Greetings, tie-wearing gorilla and fiendish turtle person - my name is Dr. Neo Perwinkle Cortex, and this is who I like to consider my partner-in-crime, Uka Uka!" the scientist introduced himself and the floating mask to Donkey Kong and Bowser, like the two actually cared. We'll just call the mask Uka, just because."We are here looking for crystals - I had seen a lousy marsupial with a crystal, and I do believe he has washed up here! Any idea where I may find him?"

"Yellow-skinned scientist guy, with a large N on your head, and you came all the way here, looking for some silly marsupial with some crystal, all while being accompanied by some floating mask thingy," said Bowser, who couldn't even believe half the things that just came out of his mouth. "You should definitely do better things with your life, buddy."

"I already am doing great things in my life, I'm an evil scientist desiring to conquer the whole world!" Cortex looked up at the heavens with his arms out wide as he said this, leading Uka to roll his eyes. He's been with Cortex for the longest now, he has known all of his many shortcomings. "I can't conquer the world however, if I don't have all the crystals!"

"A villain who needs a bunch of crystals to complete his quest for world dominance?" Donkey Kong raised an eyebrow, now viewing Cortex as a somewhat pathetic villain, one he couldn't take seriously. Uka, yes, he could take seriously, but Cortex, not so much. "Sounds like you're just another lousy villain to me. Now if you excuse me, we have some stuff to do while we're at the beach..." Bowser and Donkey Kong walked away from Cortex and Uka, though they probably had no stuff to do prior to the volleyball game...they probably just wanted to get away from Cortex. Cortex's ugliness must have scared them away.

"Told you well this meeting would be an instant failure..." Uka told Cortex, who refused to listen to the floating mask's crap. One way or another, Cortex was bound to find that crystal...and maybe the marsupial, if he had said crystal.

Cortex: That crystal is mine, mine I tell you...I need it in order to fuel my latest death ray!...Yes, yes, I understand, almost every villain has a death ray of some sort...but my death ray is far above the rest! Not only can it kill innocent people senselessly, but it can also make homemade churros! My death ray is a killer machine and essentially an Easy-Bake Oven, all in one, which would mean that it's my greatest invention ever, even more so that my Evolvo Ray! And people say I'm not a genius...
Uka: Well to be fair, people wouldn't be saying that if you didn't lose all the time. Also, what's so great about some death ray that can bake food - can it bake people alive?
Cortex: Now I know I'm crazy, but I'm not that crazy...every villain has their limits. But evidently you have no limits yourself!
Uka: Eh, who needs them?


King Dedede was resting comfortably in a beach chair - a beach chair that was surprisingly able to hold the fat penguin's weight - as he was listening to calming, soothing music from a tape on his portable cassette player. The king of Dream Land was at peace, felt like he was in paradise...then a beach ball bounced on top of the penguin's belly, before landing on the ground. King Dedede hit the pause button on his cassette player, and looked around, before seeing the beach ball next to him that disturbed his peaceful tranquility.

"Yo, fat bird guy, can you give us back our ball?" a kid, gathered with his friends, called out to King Dedede. The penguin felt insulted by the kid's remarks, but he knew better than to beat up a harmless kid, especially if his parents were around.

"One beach ball, coming right up!" exclaimed King Dedede, as he took off his headphones and grabbed the beach ball before getting off his beach chair so he could retrieve the ball to the kids, leaving his cassette player and headphones lying on the beach chair. This would give Pit and Kirby the opportune moment to strik, as they tiptoed their way to the beach chair. Kirby grabbed the cassette player and took out the tape, replacing it with a tape with the Smash logo on it.

"This tape I'm inserting into Dedede's cassette player is a special kind of tape," Kirby explained to Pit, as he was inserting the new tape inside the cassette player. "It's something I got from Nightmare Enterprises...basically you say something into this microphone..." Kirby took out a microphone and held it up for Pit to see. "...and whatever you say into the microphone will be played out in that tape, for King Dedede to hear. Just tell King Dedede what to do, and he will have no other choice but to do it!"

"Oh man, that sounds absolutely genius, we should definitely try it!" exclaimed Pit, before seeing that King Dedede was returning to his beach chair. "King Dedede is making his way back - time to retreat!" Pit and Kirby ran off and assumed their hiding positions, just in time as King Dedede returned to his beach chair and got back on it, after putting on his headphones.

"Back in my good ol' beach chair...it's a shame those kids wouldn't let me play with them, must've thought my weight would have held me back," said King Dedede, as he pressed the play button on his cassette. "But no matter, I can continue relaxing and enjoying what today has to offer..." But instead of his calming music, King Dedede got something else...

"Hello, young Padawan, and welcome to 'Know Your Role and Shut Your Mouth, the 12th Edition'!" said the narrator on the tape Kirby just inserted, the narrator being Pit, hiding with Kirby as he spoke into the microphone. King Dedede got up in shock, wondering who had tampered with his cassette player. "Are you ready for a day of excitement, are you ready to have the time of your life, are you ready to..."

"I demand to know who this is!" commanded King Dedede, now ticked as ever. No one messed with the king of Dream Land and expect to get away with it. "Where's my soothing music, I wanna feel relaxed, I could care less about this so-called 'day of excitement'!"

"But you will feel relaxed, once we are through with this tape. If you listen to me, and follow my words, young Padawan, you will become more universally liked, you'll be the toast of the town! Everyone will be bowing down at your feet, and praise your name forever more!" The once angry King Dedede now found himself stroking his chin with a grin on his face; rarely did the penguin felt like a king in Seattle, so maybe if he listened to the tape, then his aspirations of being treated by everyone like the king he was supposed to be would come true.

Kirby: We don't really have a script for what we're gonna say to King Dedede...Pit will just tell that fat penguin to do humiliating things, making Dedede assume that humiliating himself could grant him the respect and reverence he supposedly deserved...when in actuality he'll end up being the biggest clown in all the city. And Dedede's shenanigans will be recorded by hundreds of folks on their phones, to be played over and over again for everyone's amusement until the end of time.

"Okay, from now on, I shall do whatever you tell me to do, and I will do with with grace and power!" said King Dedede, agreeing to Pit's terms. Grace and power won't be required whilst making yourself out to be a colossal buffoon. "What's the first objective I must do, awesome narrator?"

"See that grown Japanese guy building a sandcastle with that kid?" Pit asked; King Dedede looked out in front of him, and saw Heihachi, helping Villager make a sandcastle. Heihachi looked pretty determined to make the sandcastle the grandest sandcastle to ever exist. "In order to prove your worth, you must sing and dance with that man, exuberating joy and happiness with every step you make, and with every word you sing!"

"Easier said than done, I'll go ahead and give it a shot," said King Dedede, as he made his way over to Heihachi, the Japanese fighter working out the details of the castle, like the castle walls. Villager, who was making a moat and a drawbridge, looked up and saw King Dedede.

"Hey King Dedede, care to join me in perfecting this sandcastle?" asked the young lad, but the penguin did not come to lend aid in sandcastle building. Instead, he came for Heihachi...as he pulled the Japanese fighter up to his feet and started dancing with him, the two holding hands like they were dancing on Broadway.

"King Dedede why on earth are you dancing, and with me of all people?" Heihachi questioned the penguin, as onlookers were watching Heihachi and Dedede dance. Some were recording the dancing on their phones, just as Kirby had figured.

"Hello, ma baby, hello, ma darling, hello, ma ragtime gal..." sang King Dedede, as everyone was pointing and laughing at him. But the penguin failed to see this, for his eyes were closed, and he also failed to hear the laughing too, since Pit was playing the song "Hello, Ma Baby!" through the microphone he was speaking into. "Send me a kiss by wire, baby, my heart's on fire..."

"I've had just about enough of this crap!" frowned Heihachi, letting go of King Dedede before shoving him onto the sand. But the fighter had made a very unwise effort...he shoved Dedede into Villager's sandcastle. The onlookers gasped as a now disappointed Villager looked at his sandcastle - or at least what was left of his sandcastle - all while Pit and Kirby were laughing away. King Dedede was undoubtedly the perfect person for their prank.

"My sandcastle, Heihachi and I worked so hard on it..." moped Villager, as King Dedede rose up to his feet, dusting the sand off his red robe. "...now I feel to bummed out to make another one. Thanks a lot, King Dedede!" King Dedede certainly didn't like when blame was placed on him, so he was rather quick to let Villager know how he felt.

"Oh, so it's MY fault Heihachi was the one who shoved me to the ground!" King Dedede snapped on Villager, who now cowered in fear. The angry disposition on Dedede's face could make for some very nightmarish visuals. "It's MY fault Heihachi can't accept the great songs of the late 1800s, it's my fault he wishes to remain an uncultured swine!"

"To be fair, you did sing and dance with the guy, for no reason at all," someone pointed out, though King Dedede was quick to dismiss their remark. The penguin he did no wrong - he was just doing what the narrator on his tape told him to do!

Doc Louis: As a well-respected black man, I found King Dedede's rendition of "Hello, Ma Baby!" to be somewhat offensive...perhaps I should stop viewing Dedede as a fat guy wearing some odd-colored blackface. Them lips of Dedede's keep throwin' me off!

"Know what, forget you guys, I'm just gonna be great elsewhere!" King Dedede stormed off, bringing his cassette along with him, as Pit and Kirby were snickering at the fat penguin. This was only just the beginning...the pink puffball and the angel both had their eyes set on making King Dedede do even more silly stuff.

"This day is gonna be awesome..." remarked Pit as he and Kirby continued to snicker. "Do you wanna give it a spin, Kirby?"

"I would most definitely love to, thought of some great things that will make King Dedede the 'toast of the town'," chuckled Kirby, accepting the microphone from Pit. Considering Kirby and King Dedede were bitter rivals (although it wasn't really a rivalry, since Kirby actually respects Dedede), Kirby was gonna let the king of Dream Land have it.


Link and Cloud were chilling at inside a restaurant near near Alki Beach, babysitting Charles. The two swordsmen were watching over Luigi and Daisy's baby son, both taking turns watching over the infant because if they watched over Charles together, then they would be questioned by strangers...and for all the wrong reasons.

Right now it was Link who was watching over Charles, who was keeping himself occupied with Midna on the restaurant table while Link was busy cleaning his sword. Midna was surprisingly able to keep Charles happy and content, without having to lose her temper.

"Gotta say Link, this infant is way more tolerable to deal with than you are," Midna told the Hylian, stroking the luscious orange hair of Charles. "Always endearingly happy, and would agree to anything you say! If you told him that you would throw him down a meat grinder, I bet you he would mindlessly smile and clap, not knowing what the consequences are!"

"Of course he would mindlessly clap and smile, he's a infant less than a year old who only knows about the good things in the world," explained Link, after he was finished cleaning his sword. "He's not used to things like death, and the loss of others, and having to deal with death in general."

"That's why Luigi and Daisy should teach him those things now, so that he'll be in the know and will be more acclimated to death than his peers...and then he won't feel so somber at funerals, because he has grown to accept the fact that death is a depressing, yet necessary part of life." That was some very morbid thinking, but then again, it did come from Midna...

Cloud returned to the restaurant, heading over to where Link and company were sitting, and the swordsman was bringing an unwanted guest with him...Sora. The Keyblade wielder was running his mouth about how his homeland, or "home world", in his case - Destiny Island - had a beach, and how he and his friends would play in the beach, all in the name of fun.

"There was this one world, called Atlantica, were I was a mermaid!" Sora was now telling another story to Cloud, whose face indicated that he was done with life, or with Sora rather. "It was pretty neat - swimming about in the water, waving my mermaid tail, and fighting Heartless at the same time! Sadly Donald, Goofy, and I couldn't fight any more Heartless after our initial Atlantica visit, but we were a part of a big underwater musical, so it was all good."

"Like I said before about your stupid raft...congratulations," Cloud said to Sora as the two finally reached Link and company. The look Cloud gave to Link and Midna literally screamed, "Please put me out of my misery and eradicate this man Sora..."

Sora: My friends and I have always wanted to see all the other worlds out there, so we built a raft so we could see 'em. We had a race to determine who would be the captain, and since I won, I had naming rights! Got to name the raft Excalibur...sounds like a great name for any buoyant structure, don't ya think so Cloud?
Cloud: Congratulations, dude...congratulations.
Sora: Don't know what happened to that raft though - there was this big storm, and I think the storm ripped the raft apart. But I carried on the raft's legacy and named my Gummi Ship after it! Isn't that great, Cloud?
Cloud: What, do you want some participation trophy for naming your ship Excalibur or something?
Bowser: *walking by* Participation trophies are an abomination to society and the root of all evil! No one deserves participation trophies, including you Sora! So you better stop talking about your crappy ship or else you're gonna feel the pain!

"Babysitting Daisy and Luigi's kid, huh Link?" Sora would ask the Hylian, as he grabbed Charles and held him in his arms, cradling him as the others looked on. "Don't think I've ever held a baby before, must be a first for me!" Does Sora want a participation trophy just for holding a baby? Bowser wouldn't like that one bit.

"Nobody told you that you could hold Charles," Cloud said to Sora, snatching Charles away from Sora and placing the infant back on the table. "Just like how nobody told you that you could touch my pet Chocobo, Cloud Jr."

"Sorry Cloud, but you're mistaken...it was Roy who told me I could touch your pet Chocobo. Also, what kind of name is Cloud Jr? Doesn't sound that creative to me." Uh oh, looks like things were quietly getting intense in the restaurant...several people were looking on.

"Well at least I gave it a name, so that's what matters. Any name would be better than Excalibur, if you ask me. What a lousy name for a raft, or ship, or anything that isn't a sword."

"What kind of pet owner are you, you just called your pet Chocobo an 'it!" Now the conversation between Sora and Cloud was quickly turning into an argument, as more and more people looked on. "Bet you don't even know what gender Cloud Jr. is!"

"Of course I know the bird's gender...Cloud Jr. is a male. Call Cloud Jr. uncreative all you want, but I don't see you calling out Bowser for naming his only biological son Bowser Jr. Or are you too scared to face the guy?"

"Um, guys, I don't mean to disturb you both, but..." Link spoke up; Cloud and Sora stopped arguing among themselves, before looking at Link, and then looking at the table...only to see Charles wasn't there! Did the infant crawl away as the argument persisted? Cloud and Sora could only look at Midna, who was sitting on the table like nothing bad was going on.

"Why are you boys looking at me for?" the imp questioned both Cloud and Sora. "Link and I were too busy watching the fireworks between you boys. If anything, the blame should be solely placed on you two for distracting us from Charles."

Link: Welp, we lost Charles, and now Luigi and Daisy are gonna kill us...though it would be Daisy who would do most of the killing. Luigi couldn't kill a ladybug even if the fate of the world depended on it.

Concerned and ticked off about the disappearance of Charles, Link, Cloud, and Sora exited the restaurant, with Midna following them outside. Once outside, the foursome saw two particular buddy cops, speaking with someone who was an actual police officer - Toon Link and Young Link. The Hylians were receiving useful police tips from the police officer, who was standing next to his police car.

"One thing I tell rookie police officers is, is that you should never put yourself out in front of others," the police officer explained to the Links, with Toon Link writing down on a notepad. "Don't let your ego interfere you in the name of law - act professional, and do your job accordingly, and if you keep doing that, you'll be great policemen one day. That's all the tips I can share with you boys, hope you take them to heart!"

"Thanks a bunch officer, we shall definitely use your tips to good use!" Toon Link saluted the police officer, who smiled as he got inside his police car, turned on the ignition, and drove away, returning to patrolling Alki Beach. Once the police car drove off, Cloud and company approached the Links. "Greetings, law-abiding citizens, do you have a case for us to crack?" Toon Link would ask the group that approached him and Young Link.

"Can't believe I'm actually saying this but...Toon Link, Young Link, we seriously need your help," said Cloud, refusing to believe that he was asking two young wannabe cops to help him and his crew. "Link and I were watching over Charles at the restaurant, and Sora and I kinda got into it, and now Charles ran off and we don't know where he ran off to."

"Ooh, a missing child case...don't think we ever solved anything like that before," remarked Young Link, scratching his chin. "This could very well be the case that could make or break our careers as police officers. Looks like a mighty job for...the Seattle Vice!" Young Link placed sunglasses on his eyes, and Toon Link would follow suit.

"Yeah...so are you gonna help us find the kid or not? We don't want Daisy coming for our behinds soon...Luigi would be the least of our worries."

"Daisy's fury is like a fire-breathing dragon with an uncontrollable rage, seeking for whom it may consume with the intense flare of its fiery breath..." Very descriptive, Young Link. "We shall assist you in finding Charles, wherever he may be..."


Sonic was on the Alki Beach coastline, playing a game of Frisbee with with his pet Shaymin. Knuckles was off driving on a boat at sea with Tails, and Amy was getting prepared for the volleyball game, so Sonic was left with no other choice but to play with his pet Pokemon.

"Go long, Shaymin!" the hedgehog called out, as he threw the Frisbee as far as he could, throwing it the farthest he had ever thrown it before. Using her amazing flight abilities, Shaymin caught the Frisbee before it could leave the beach altogether, before returning the Frisbee to Sonic and placing it at the hedgehog's feet. "Good girl, and what an awesome catch! You keep getting more awesome each and every day!" Sonic petted Shaymin's head, making his pet smile.

"Aw, stop it Sonic, you're making me blush!" said Shaymin, while Sonic continued to pet her head. Suddenly, a cardboard box inched up to Sonic, before coming to a sudden stop; the hedgehog turned around, and saw the cardboard box, paying close attention to the red exclamation mark on the box. That exclamation mark provided a dead giveaway to Sonic and Shaymin as to who was the person hiding underneath the box.

"Sonic is that you underneath that box? You're not really fooling anyone, even the most average person would know it's you..." Sonic would soon be right, when a wave washed up onto the beach surface, washing away the cardboard box and revealing Snake, who was crouching on the sand, alarmed that his beloved cardboard box was gone. If only there was an exclamation point about Snake's head to indicate that Snake's cover was blown.

"Whatever you do, don't tell Kiria I'm here - had to spend most of my time at the beach hiding in my cardboard box just to avoid the chick," Snake said to Sonic and Shaymin, who knew better than to reveal Snake's whereabouts to Kiria. No way were they gonna let that lovestruck idol singer get close to the former spy. "Now it looks like I'll have to find myself another cardboard box...or I could just bury myself underneath the sand. Nobody would give a crap if I was still alive or not."

Kiria: Oh Snake, oh Snake, where art thou? I practically gave up my spot on Tsubasa's volleyball team just so I could look for you Snake, but yet you are nowhere to be found...my ever tormented soul longs to be with you Snake, why can't you see that with your...with your luscious blue eyes, which are as beautiful as the sea, more beautiful than any ocean of this godforsaken planet...this planet is incomplete if I don't have you Snake, why can't you just see that?!

"It could have been a whole lot worse Snake...Birdo could have been the one obsessing over you," stated Shaymin, earning a glare from the former spy. Although Kiria was intolerable enough for Snake, the guy should be grateful his admirer was someone like Birido, who already had a pretty obsessive personality to begin with. Yoshi might now from experience. "Also, what is that orange thing lying on the sand?"

Sonic and Snake looked around and saw the orange thing in question - an orange marsupial washed up on the shore, wearing blue jeans and red sneakers. The marsupial quickly jumped up to his feet and shook the water off of him, before seeing Sonic, Snake, and Shaymin, and greeting them with a smile. So far this marsupial didn't look like a threat Sonic and company would have to dispose of, but Snake was quick to recognize the marsupial's face.

"This guy looks awfully familiar..." the former spy inquisitively remarked, narrowing his eyes as he analyzed the marsupial, from his hair and face, all the way down to his shoes. "Mind telling us your name?" The marsupial spoke, but it was all unintelligible garble, like it was a different language. Even more different than most indiscernible rap songs these days. "Just as I figured, the fella can't speak a single lick of English...how about you write your name on the sand?"

So Snake grabbed a nearby stick that was conveniently lying on the sand, and tossed it to the marsupial, who used the stick to write the name "CRASH', on the sand. Snake and company looked at the name, surprised that a marsupial who couldn't speak English was able to write a single word. Might be the only word in the marsupial's lexicon.

"Crash, as in like, Crash Bandicoot?" Sonic asked the marsupial, who nodded his head in glee. "Yeah, I've heard about you before, nice to meet ya!" Sonic would give some dap to Crash, signifying the first moment hedgehog and bandicoot meet in friendly fashion. "Mario has been telling all sorts of stories about you, most of them in an incriminating nature, but I assume that Mario feels bitter about any video game mascot. Used to feel bitter about me. Say, what's that you got in your hands?"

Crash held up the object he was holding in his hands...a pink crystal, its allure enough to distract Sonic. It was the very crystal Cortex had spoke of earlier, a crystal he needed to fuel with death ray...Crash oughta keep the crystal away from Cortex, if he knows what's good for him.

"Oh Snake, where are you Snake - come out, come out, wherever you are!" Kiria's voice called out to the former spy, who instantly froze as his name was called. "I know you're hiding in that silly cardboard box of yours...now be the man that I know you are and show yourself!"

"Crap that woman is on the lookout for me..." panicked Snake, who would've retreated to his cardboard box if the ocean didn't take his temporary hiding place away. "We gotta move, and fast!" Snake led Sonic, Shaymin, and Crash away, getting as far away from Kiria as possible.


It was now time for the volleyball game to begin, as both teams were getting prepared, while spectators came one by one to watch the match. On Tsubasa's team was Eleonora, Fox, Falco, Donkey Kong, Yuffie, Greninja, Amy, Shulk, and Fiora. On Asuka's team was Mamori, Jacky, Akira, Bowser, Lucina, Robin, Wii Fit Trainer, Lucario, and Lopunny. Yes, Lucario's babe Lopunny came along to the beach, since Lucario wanted to make a good impression on the rabbit Pokemon.

"Go and break a leg out there, Donkey Kong, but don't break your leg - break the leg of someone on the other team instead!" yelled Cranky Kong, who much to everyone's chagrin was invited to the beach. The old geezer talked his nephew into it. "I'd go for Wii Fit Trainer if I were you, she's pretty athletic and is really good at sports! Her loss will be your team's gain!"

"Why on earth did you invite your grandpa in the first place?" Fiora asked Donkey Kong, as she was stretching her arms and legs. "All he has done at the beach is nothing but whacking random people on the head with his stupid cane...you'd think the police would intervene and tell Cranky to stop!"

"Like I told others before, Cranky Kong is very persuasive and has a way with words - that's why I had to bring him to the beach," explained Donkey Kong, before looking at Cranky Kong. The elderly Kong was waving a flag with the initials "DK" on it, with Diddy Kong at his side. "Could have persuaded the folks he mistreated not to tell on him - he doesn't bode that well when it comes to snitches."

Cranky Kong: Can you believe that this crummy story is now over a million words? Think about that - the trash author who writes this story, because Lord knows why, has finally achieved one million words, and it only took him a year and a half at least to achieve the feat! By my calculations, if he keeps writing this story for four and a half more years...then he can surpass Subspace Emissary: Worlds Conquest! To the Worlds Conquest author...you better watch your back, sonny!

"I always knew you were better than this, Tsubasa..." Fox said to Tsubasa, after the idol singer and team captain returned from who-knows-where with a volleyball. "I was afraid that you would take the boring route, and select only those from Star Records to be your teammates, but you have really left an impression on me. I should have known better than to doubt you."

"Playing for you will be totally worth it, since you will be playing in your bikini, and Fox and I will be...in the back, if you know what I mean," chuckled Falco, as Tsubasa rolled her eyes at the avian pilot's remark. Fox also glared at Falco, as his avian friend tried to feign innocence. "Oh, you and Krystal are still dating? You never told me anything recent about your relationship, unless something embarrassing went down and you wanted to keep it as a secret from me. Wouldn't blame you in the slightest. I got stuff I don't even wanna share with you, so I share it with the other. Paid them a hefty fee to keep it under the wraps, too."

"Yeah...you two just try not to suck, and we'll accrue victory," Tsubasa said to the Star Fox pilots, before turning her attention to Asuka, who was standing on the other side of the volleyball net, ready to start the volleyball game. "You ready to go, Asuka?"

"Ready to go when you are!" exclaimed the peppy ninja girl, as Tsubasa severed the ball to the back of Asuka's court. Using her athletic prowess, Wii Fit Trainer leaped and served the ball right back, only for Donkey Kong to serve the ball right back, and with added aggression. Bowser, feeling like he was the only player on Asuka's team to handle a volleyball with blazing velocity, tried to serve the volleyball back...

...but as the Koopa King got in position to strike, the volleyball struck one of the spikes on the koopa's green shell, deflating in the process. A suddenly deflating will soon enter its way into the scene (no pun intended), as the now pierced volleyball remained stuck in Bowser's shell, the spectators bummed out about an abrupt ending to what could have been a back-and-forth, intense game of volleyball.

"Nice going Bowser, you pierced the volleyball with your stupid shell, and thanks to you, we now have to grab another ball!" Wii Fit Trainer was quick to scold Bowser, who did nothing wrong. The blame should solely be placed on his shell, not him. "Why couldn't you just let me serve the ball back instead?"

"You already had your moment to shine, and I needed my moment badly!" replied Bowser, who was making a big deal out of nothing. Bowser could just chill in the back, doing nothing, and nobody would give a crap. "But since you want to blame me for something my shell did that I didn't do, I suppose I'll just take my shell off..." Bowser, personifying his shell if it meant dealing with the blame, was about to take off his shell, as everyone wearily looked on. "Just so you know, I haven't washed my back in years, so try and not to be disturbed by how grimy and mangled my back looks..."

"No, no, you can leave your shell on, I'll just go fetch another volleyball," Lucario said to Bowser, who now left his shell alone, as Lucario left to retrieve another volleyball. How long would the second volleyball last?


Marie: Peach and her friends have been so nice to me...it's great to have a enjoyable, meaningful conversation with other females without someone like the female Inkling fangirling you and breathing on your neck. She has done that to me over the week, until Master Hand finally decided to give her a very stern talking to. I wish I could have such conversations with Callie... *sighs* ...wherever she is, I hope she's safe.

Marie was still hanging out with Peach, Daisy, and Celica, and the Inkling was joined by two other ladies, Zelda and Aerith. The six women were hanging out on the pier, eating some popsicles Meta Knight was kind enough to purchase for them. Speaking of whom, Meta Knight was guarding the women with all his life as they were enjoying their popsicles, on the lookout with his eyes analyzing every person that passed by. The Star Warrior was only doing this because he was afraid some crazy Splatoon fan might kidnap Marie.

"Are you sure it's okay for you to eat those popsicles, those things can turn into liquid very quickly if they melt in the sun for too long," Zelda asked Marie, who didn't seem to mind as she was licking away. "You did say that you can't have liquids like water in your body system..."

"If I can eat this popsicle before it melts, then I should be just fine," replied Marie with a smile. It was great that Zelda and the ladies were taking time out of their day at the beach to keep Marie's spirits up, and they were far better company than Mega Man and .EXE, who would leave poor Marie unattended and allow Splatoon fans to hound her.

Suddenly trouble would loom for Marie and company, as a certain scientist and a floating mask arrived at the pier, with the mad scientist riding on a hoverboard. Cortex and Uka would make their appearing, and they were still on the hunt for Crash, Cortex's arch-nemesis.

"Uka, do you see that blonde lady on the pier before you?" Cortex asked the floating mask, pointing at Peach. Meta Knight took notice of Cortex and Uka, and watched them cautiously, anticipating any move they made.

"Yes I do see - it's a woman that you could never get in your putrid life, no matter how hard you tried," answered Uka, as Cortex gave him a blank stare. "Then again, I could say the same about the other ladies with her...your standards are far too low to get a chance with any one of them."

"That blonde chick is the famous Princess Peach, princess of the Mushroom Kingdom! And look! She's wearing a wedding ring, which means that she must have married the famous plumber Mario! I wasn't even invited to their wedding! Why wasn't I invited?!"

"I think the reasons for why you weren't invited are pretty obvious...and your perpetual ugliness is one of those reasons." Cortex had just about enough of Uka's mouth, as he now focused on the one thing he came to the pier for - to ask questions about Crash.

"Bah, no matter, I shall extract my revenge on Mario and Peach later, they'll get what's coming to them. Right now, I must ask Peach and her posse about Crash..." Cortex would turn his attention to Peach and company, who were enjoying quite the conversation. "Yoo hoo ladies, up here!" None of the ladies responded, so Cortex was left with no other choice but to get their attention by whistling. Once he whistled, Peach and company looked up at Cortex, flying on his hoverboard as Uka waited to see how the exchange would turn out. "Don't mean to interrupt your conversation ladies - Dr. Neo Cortex's the name. I have something I must ask you...have any of you seen a marsupial with a pink crystal in his possession?"

Peach and company just stared at Cortex for a good while...before continuing on with their conversation, like the guy wasn't even there. Cortex just looked on with his mouth agape - was he so disrespected that not even the heroines would take him seriously?

Cortex: Throughout my life, nobody has ever taken me seriously...not even my lab assistants, the minions I've created, my niece, or even my parents, for that matter! Personally I blame Crash, he has beaten me so many times that it has taken a huge toll on my villain status! Some people think that I never win against Crash, but they're wrong...for I've actually beaten Crash plenty of times before!
Uka: You weren't going to mention those racing competitions, were you? Because those don't really count.
Cortex: Why must you always destroy my confidence...

"How dare you choose not to pay attention to Dr. Neo Ccortex, I thought I deserved better than this!" Cortex snapped on the six ladies, who did their best to tune out the mad scientist as his rant went on. "Do you have any idea who I am? I am a villain, one of the finest you'll ever see - I have the best minions any villain could dream of, and I also have the best evil lairs, and the best sense of humor, and the best..."

"So that guy on the hoverboard is the Cortex guy Mario and Snake would occasionally talk about?" Aerith would ask Peach, while the ladies had now tuned out Cortex completely while Cortex's rant persisted. The mad scientist was too ticked to even notice the lack of awareness from the ladies. "I have to admit, he is kinda hard to look at - can't look at him for a very long time."

"He is a lot more hideous in person; judging from Mario, I thought he would have been even uglier than I would have ever imagined," said Peach, before turning her attention to Meta Knight, who was watching Cortex ranting like a madman. And Uka was enjoying every little second of it. "Meta Knight, would you like to take care of Cortex for us? We have tuned him out, I don't think he's quite aware of it yet..."

"I've been waiting for one of you ladies to tell me that," replied Meta Knight, sword in hand, as he flew up to Cortex. The mad scientist stopped ranting and shrieked like a little schoolgirl when he saw Meta Knight, face-to-face; Uka quickly got out of the way as Meta Knight went to work on Cortex, slashing him with his sword as the mad scientist dodged every swipe, before retreating away on his hoverboard. "That's right, you better leave! Salir! Salir!"

"Stupid flying mask-wearing thing, I shall deal with you later!" Cortex vowed, pointing at Meta Knight before flying off on his hoverboard, with Uka having to follow the N head because he was unfortunate enough to be stuck with him forever. Once Cortex was gone, Meta Knight flew back down to the pier, assuming his original spot.

"Man that guy looks like such a loser...someone oughta give that man a hug," remarked the Star Warrior. Honest question: has anyone ever willingly hugged Cortex?


King Dedede continued to listen to the tape in his cassette player, "Know Your Role and Shut Your Mouth, the 12th Edition", with Pit being the narrator of the tape, unbeknownst to the penguin. Pit would make King Dedede do all sorts of humiliating things at the beach, like using the women's restroom for example. Now Pit was having the king of Dream Land mess with Ness and Lucas, who were playing with water balloons. Or rather, it was Ness who was playing with water balloons, trying to get Lucas to join in on the fun.

"Don't tell me you're scared of some harmless water balloons, they're not going to kill you!" Ness told Lucas, as he was playfully throwing colored water balloons at his blonde friend, who was dodging each water balloon like he was auditioning for a Matrix movie. "It's not like you're an Inkling and getting hit by a water balloon would make your body melt!"

"You should know how much I dislike getting wet!" frowned Lucas as he swatted a water balloon away from him, while everyone looked on wondering what was wrong with the PSI whiz. Good grief, Lucas must dislike every little thing... "We should have went to an aquarium instead of the beach, the aquarium is the only place I'll feel comfortable near water!"

"Have you ever been to an aquarium before?" Ness asked Lucas, who shook his head no. "Well you better take what you get buddy, you can't have everything you want, and that's a really sucky part of life. Gotta make lemonade out of the lemons life gives ya!" Ness hurled yet another water balloon at Lucas, who dodged it like a G.

Kirby: Our prank on King Dedede has been going absolutely swell so far! He has taken every single one of our orders like a guinea pig, without questioning at all how he acquired the tape, or why the narrator, Pit, was telling him to do embarrassing stuff.
Pit: He keeps embarrassing himself all because we told him that the actions he does today will help garner him "respect" and will establish him as a rightful king...but instead he's establishing himself as a rightful clown. And the fun shall go on while the day is still young!

"You see that blonde boy over there, the blonde boy known as Lucas?" Pit asked King Dedede, who dared not to question how the narrator already knew Lucas, like he knew every single person on earth. "He's afraid of water, can you believe that? But you, only you, can vanquish his aquaphobia!"

"Heh, I ain't surprised of this kid's aquaphobia - he's the same scrub that was once scared of the wet stain on his bed!" chuckled King Dedede, though it was likely that Dedede might have made the wet stain in the first place just to mess with Lucas. "Poor fella actually thought it was his own shadow, and that his shadow was coming to life! So how can I rid him of his aquaphobia, wise narrator?"

"Here's what I want you to do..." Pit discreetly whispered to King Dedede, who nodded his head after every piece of information he gained, and once Pit gave him the 4-1-1, it was time for King Dedede to act. The penguin took a deep breath, and ran towards Lucas and did the unthinkable...

...he scooped up Lucas in his arms, and ran towards the ocean, as Ness and everyone else looked on in confusion. What King Dedede was about to do next was even more unthinkable.

"SAY GOODBYE TO THE REST OF YOUR LIFE!" the fat penguin shouted to Lucas as he literally threw Lucas like a football into the ocean, as the beachgoers gasped at King Dedede's decision-making. The penguin turned around to face the beachgoers, raising his arms in the air like he had done something.

"You monster, how could you do something so heartless to that poor little kid?!" a distressed woman scolded King Dedede, having no idea that the 'poor little kid' she was talking about was actually a teen who looked pretty youthful for his age. But fortunately for Lucas, help would soon be on his way.

"Don't worry Lucas, I'm here to save you - I am your courage!" the Flying Man appeared, as if right on cue, as he leaped into the water to rescue Lucas. Suspense built up in the beach, as everyone waited patiently for the Flying Man to reemerge from the water with Lucas in his arms...and that's exactly what happened a couple of seconds later, as the mythical beast arose from the water, with Lucas in his arms. Everyone cheered on for the Flying Man as he heroically marched his way back to the beach surface, before placing Lucas on the sand and giving him CPR. Everyone save for King Dedede, who was nervously backing away, gathered around the Flying Man as he proceeded to give Lucas CPR.

"Lucas, please tell me you're still alive, I cannot bear you, or anyone else for that matter, to perish from drowning, please respond if you can..." the Flying Man told the PSI whiz after applying CPR. He and the others waited a few seconds...and everyone was suddenly relieved when Lucas awoke, opening his eyes as he rose up, coughing and gagging a little to get the rest of the water out of his system.

"Lucas, my man, you're still alive!" exclaimed Ness, being the first to hug his best friend. His hug left quite the smile on Lucas's face. "For a minute I thought you were a goner! Sorry about throwing those water balloons at you, I just wanted you to have fun, that's all. Water balloons can make anything fun, if you ask me."

"Nah, you didn't have to apologize, it's all good," replied Lucas, speaking for the first time ever since King Dedede threw the PSI whiz into the ocean. "Dedede sure was a jerk for tossing me into the ocean like that, sure hope he gets what he deserves!" The penguin in question was no longer at the scene, for he secretly retreated to avoid any condemnation...however, Pit and Kirby were present, hiding behind some shrubbery and laughing it up.

Pit: Do you feel bad about having King Dedede hurl Lucas into the water?
Kirby: Not really - I mean, the Flying Man's here, and he's always prone to saving others during their times of peril, so it's all good. *pauses* Say, isn't there a volleyball game on the beach between Tsubasa and Asuka? How about we have Dedede interrupt their game?


The famous buddy cop duo of Toon Link and Young Link were searching along the coastline for Charles, with Link, Cloud, Sora, and Midna also a part of the search.

"Look what I found, a king's crown seashell!" exclaimed Sora, picking up the seashell from the sand and analyzing it. Clearly the brunette cared more about finding exquisite shells than the safety and whereabouts of Charles. "Haven't seen quite a shell like this ever since I left Destiny Island!"

"We're not looking for any stupid shells, we're looking for Charles and finding him before Daisy kills us all," Cloud told Sora, slapping the seashell out of the Keyblade wielder's hands, and judging by his remark, he was not at all afraid of Luigi. Because who would? "Wish Omochao was here to take you away..."

"Focus, people, focus - we gotta find Charles before Daisy unleashes her unholy vengeance upon the entire city of Seattle and goes full Ted Bundy and killing everyone in sight with her uncontrollable rage," said Young Link, being very descriptive yet again. "Sure hope our case doesn't go from a missing child case to a child abduction case...that would make the work harder for us."

"True dat, though it would make the beatdown we would give to a potential child abductor all the more easier," said Toon link, who was intrigued by the idea of brutally beating up any criminal with his Master Sword in the name of the law. Suddenly, the Hylian caught a jet ski coming towards the group, with the rider accompanied by a floating mask, with the corner of his eye. "Jet ski coming in at 3 o' clock - everyone out of the way!"

On Toon Link's command, everyone moved out of the way, as the jet ski came up to the beach surface. The rider of the jet ski got off; it was a female bandicoot, with blonde hair tied into a ponytail, with blue overalls and pink sneakers. The mask accompanying her looked similar to Uka, but was much less evil in appearance. The female bandicoot didn't take that long to get situated, when she saw that Toon Link and Young Link had their bows pointed at her, ready to fire some arrows.

"State your business here, and why you were riding on a jet ski without a helmet on!" Toon Link interrogated the female bandicoot, who felt confused. What were these wannabe police officers doing with bows and arrows instead of guns and bullets? She presumably wondered.

"First off, there's no law stating that it's a requirement to wear a helmet while jet skiing," stated the bandicoot, as the two Links lowered their bows, albeit with some bitter reluctance. "Secondly, I'm here looking for someone named Crash Bandicoot, who I believe has washed up on the Washington state shore, according to the radar on my jet ski. I'm his little sister, Coco, and this flying mask with me Aku Aku, who acts as our guardian of sorts."

"It's great meeting all of you," Aku Aku would tell the group. Same rule applied to Uka will be also applied to Aku Aku. "Crash was last seen spotted with a crystal when he was washed away, and we expect him to still have said crystal in his possession."

"Blonde hair, blue overalls...are you in any way affiliated with the United States Department of Agriculture, or anything pertaining to farming?" Young Link would ask Coco, who was confused yet again. "Tell me now, or else you''ll be faced with the fury of my arrows!" So far, the Links were portraying themselves as poor policemen.

"Dude chill out, quit acting so unprofessional," Toon Link said to his partner, calming him down as Young Link lowered his bow. "This is what that police officer was trying to warn us about earlier. Would any great policeman act the way you did?"

Toon Link: So you know the famous YouTube channel CinemaSins? Young Link and I should do this thing called "PoliceSins", where we critique one another and point out flaws while doing our jobs, and then at the end of the day, we'll go over our sin count and give each other a sentence to describe our performance. Unlike CinemaSins, where the results are taken humorously, we'll take our PoliceSins results seriously... *pauses* ...we'll try and take them seriously.

"What kind of stupid question is that, does it look like I'm from the United States?!" frowned Coco, shocked and appalled by Young Link's baffling question. "I practically came all the way from some island near Australia! I'm only here looking for my brother Crash!"

"Funny that you're looking for someone, because we happen to be looking for someone too," said Link, perhaps the only reasonable Link at the scene. "We're looking for an infant who ran away; it's kinda a long story. You're more than welcome to join us if you like..."


The volleyball game continued, and with a new ball to hit back and forth over the volleyball net. The group of Sonic, Shaymin, Snake, and Crash would arrive at the scene, with Snake leading them as far away from Kiria as possible.

"Don't think Kiria would be present at this volleyball game, so we should be safe here," Snake told his troupe as the four made their way to where Cranky Kong and Diddy Kong was. But they wouldn't get that far, when Jacky swatted the volleyball over to Tsubasa's side and nearly nailed Sonic - who saw the ball coming towards him and catching it, Odell Beckham Jr. style.

"Whoops, sorry about that Sonic!" Jacky apologized to the hedgehog. "Would you mind tossing the ball back over to us?" Before Sonic could do just that, he had one question, and one question in mind...

"How is it that my girlfriend Amy get to be a part of your stupid volleyball game, and I'm not in it?" the hedgehog angrily asked, directing his question to the two team captains, Tsubasa and Asuka. "How could you leave out the best team player in all of existence?"

"Last time you were a part of a competitive game, you sat around and made your team do all the work," Asuka told Sonic, referencing the "dodgebomb" game that took place in episode 72. To add insult to injury, Sonic didn't even do anything until the last minute!

"But Sonic, you told me you carried your team to victory, and put the team on your back!" Amy frowned at a now nervous Sonic; to be fair, Sonic did put the team on his back...albeit literally. The blue blur was about to defend himself, but before he could, Crash took the volleyball from the hedgehog and looked at it...before biting into it, making the volleyball players and the spectators groan. Evidently this was Crash's first time seeing a volleyball.

"Guess we have to fetch another volleyball...I'm on it," sighed Fiora, as she left the volleyball court to fetch yet another dodgeball. The third dodgeball better not be tampered with this time...


Little Mac was chilling with his girlfriend Leia, while Doc Louis watched over the two. The boxing trainer had bizarrely accepted Leia into his life, much like how he accepted Little Mac into his life, and yes, many folks found that to be quite strange.

Doc Louis: I'm happy that Mac's happy, I'm happy that Leia's happy, and most importantly, I'm happy that I'm happy! But in order for Little Mac and Leia to fully experience happiness, they must have more romantic moments together...which is why I'm having Little Mac attend high school and get his GED so he can take Leia to a high school prom and be happy forever! *pauses* Do they allow you to attend prom if you're seeking a GED?

"Thanks for buying us ice cream Doc Louis, though I could have bought some ice cream for Little Mac and I myself," Leia thanked the boxing trainer, who was wearing a Hawaiian shirt, shorts, and sandals. Seldom do you see Doc Louis wearing his non-traditional clothing.

"Don't thank me just for the ice cream Leia - thank me also that I helped you save some money!" said Doc Louis with a chuckle, before taking a bite from his chocolate bar. But the boxing trainer would nearly choke on his favorite treat went he saw a certain infant crawling in the sand, unnoticed by human eyes...and that infant was Charles. "Oh snap, Luigi and Daisy's kid is on the loose! You two stay right here, I'll be right back!"

So Doc Louis made a mad dash towards Charles, brushing people to the side as he made his way to the infant, performing a baseball slide just to get to him...but right at the last minute, someone on a hoverboard scooped up Charles, and stood in front of Doc Louis on the hoverboard few seconds later, holding a now crying Charles in his arm while accompanied by a floating mask.

"Well look what we have here, a stray infant, away from his parents!" snarled Cortex, holding Charles, as Doc Louis's eyes grew big with fear. "Either his mom and dad suck as parents, or they left their child in the hands of a crappy babysitter! Now what to do with this child..." A perfect idea came inside Cortex's head...which, quite honestly, doesn't happen as much. "Ooh, I know! I'll just use this baby as a ransom and get people to ask me where that dastardly Crash is with that crystal! I should ask the folks at the volleyball game, I could pry an answer out of them!"

"Cortex you thought up of a brilliant plan, this is very shocking!" exclaimed Uka, somewhat salty that he couldn't pick on Cortex if he came up with a sucky plan. "Now if only you came up with brilliant plans ALL THE TIME!"

"That will happen later Uka, but for right now, we have a bandicoot - and a crystal - to find! Let's go before I have to change this baby's diaper - his crying is already enough for me to bear!"

Cortex and Uka went away, with Cortex flying away on his hoverboard, as Doc Louis slowly rose up to his feet and dusted the sand off of him. The boxing trainer had to let Luigi and Daisy know about the situation with Charles, one way or another.


"These sundaes are just-a perfect, Ice Climbers, I could eat-a these all day long if-a I could!" exclaimed Mario, as he, Luigi, and Alm, still in their beach chairs, were eating sundaes provided by Nana and Popo. "Now I'm not sweating as-a much thanks to your lovely creations!"

"We do have the best ice cream treats on the planet, so we're not surprised that you enjoy them," said an overconfident Popo, as Nana rolled her eyes at her brother...or boyfriend...or best friend. Gotta wonder if the beachgoers questioned the Ice Climbers about their relationship with one another.

Popo: We've been trying to sell our world-famous sundaes to the beach folk, but they refuse to buy our tasty treats! What is wrong with people?! Do they lack any sort of sense?!
Nana: ...or maybe they just don't want to spend over $250 for ONE sundae.
Popo: Yet Gucci sells their chocolate products for over the same amount, so why can't we?
Nana: Gucci sells leather products around that price range... *sighs* ...why am I even arguing with you...?

"Mario, Luigi, Alm, we have a major crisis on our hands!" Doc Louis called out to the three, sweaty and nearly out of breath once he finally reached them. "It's about the baby, Charles...he's been kidnapped!" And just like that, Link and Cloud were forever stripped of their babysitting duties by Luigi.

"Who would dare to kid-a nap my son?" asked Luigi, getting out of his beach chair with his fists tightened. The green plumber was ready to throw them hands. "I demand-a to know who it was right-a away!"

"It was some short, yellow guy with a lab coat and an N on his head...there he is right now!" Doc Louis pointed at the sky; Mario, Luigi, and Alm looked up and saw Cortex riding on his hoverboard with Charles, and Uka tagging along. Mario squinted his eyes, making out Cortex's visage.

"He sure looks some-a what familiar..." remarked the plumber, before jumping off his beach chair. "Quick, we have-a no time to spare!"


The volleyball game continued, and with a third volleyball in play. None of the volleyball players were looking forward to another distraction, and neither were the spectators that were watching the volleyball game.

"Sure hope there'll be no more distractions, this volleyball game is really getting good," Diddy Kong said to Cranky Kong, who nodded in agreement. And would you know it, Cortex and Uka would arrive at the scene; Crash, being one of the spectators, hid behind Snake when Cortex showed up. Also, congratulations Diddy, you jinxed it.

"Stop this volleyball game this instant!" shouted Cortex; Yuffie, who was about to serve the volleyball, just caught the ball as everyone looked up at Cortex. "I'm here for one reason, and one reason only...to find my arch-nemesis Crash Bandicoot, and the crystal that he has! Tell me where he is, or else!"

"Eh, it's just Dr. Cortex - from what I've heard, he's not that threatening, so we can just ignore him," said Yuffie, as she served the volleyball to Tsubasa's side and resumed the game, leaving Cortex furious...time for plan B.

"Either you tell me where Crash is or I will shoot this baby!" Cortex took out Charles and his ray gun (kudos to him for expertly hiding the two behind his back) and held his gun at Charles's head, stopping the volleyball game again as everyone looked at the mad scientist, suddenly weary. "Oh, now you take me seriously...hmm, perhaps I should kidnap little kids more often. Might boost my villain cred."

"Dr. Neo Cortex, stop-a what you're doing!" shouted Mario, who arrived at the scene with Luigi and Doc Louis as the three made their way through the crowd. "That's my nephew you got-a there...let him-a go, and you better do it-a safely too!"

"Absolutely not, Mr. Doesn't-Invite-People-To-Weddings, not until I get what I came here for!" Suddenly, a sword was thrown at Cortex's head before landing on the sand...a Master Sword rather. But it didn't come from any of the Links...it came from Coco, who was accompanied with the three Links, Cloud, Midna, and Sora.

"We've finally found you Cortex - now stop what you're doing, or we'll have to get involved!" Aku shouted at the mad scientist, who was rubbing his head. Felt a little scratch near his right ear, but no blood.

"Really, did you have to throw my sword at the guy..." Link said to Coco; the Hylian was open to letting the bandicoot use his bow and arrows.

Coco: Would've been more rational and fired a bow at Cortex, but I was in the heat of the moment, and in such instances you're subject to very poor judgement, like I was. Also didn't trust my accuracy as much.

"Drat, the girl bandicoot's here, and she somehow acquired a group of friends poised to stop me..." Cortex gritted his teeth, before remembering what he came to the beach for. "But no matter, that won't stop me from blowing his baby's brains out, if that Crash doesn't show up with the crystal!"

"LET MY SON GO!" shouted the mother of Charles...the one and only Princess Daisy, who arrived at the scene with Marie and the other ladies. "If you do one hurtful thing to my baby boy, I'm gonna kill you!"

"Oh please, certainly you could've came up with something better than 'Let my son go!' And you really think that death threat is gonna faze me? I've endured death threats during my schooling years, and that didn't shake me!" Cortex was seemingly leaving himself out in the open, and that allowed a certain Star Warrior to strike...

"Don't mind if I borrow this..." Meta Knight swooped by Cortex, snatching Charles out of the scientist's hands before flying off. Uka tried to stop Meta Knight, but he was unable to, as the Star Warrior returned Charles to Daisy, who embraced the boy in her arms.

"You DARE try and foil my master plan, before it could be an actual success?!" Cortex scolded Meta Knight, now charging up his ray gun. Now he was gonna let everyone have it. "Prepare to see this beach destroyed in a million pieces, once you witness, with open eyes, the great laser gun shot any mortal has ever..."

Before Cortex could finish, the mad scientist - and Uka too - was attacked by a flurry of paintballs, being shot like they were coming out of a machine gun. These paintballs were quite painful, and they were enough to sending Cortex and Uka crashing to the ground, the two breaking the volleyball next in the process. Once the firing ended, and Cortex and Uka were on the ground covered in paint and writhing in pain, everyone was left stunned, as they looked at the person responsible for the paintball attack...an unlikely Marie, holding a .96 Gal Deco in her hands. Needless to say, the Inkling was surprised by how shocked the others were.

"What, I'm a full-time agent from New Squidbeak Splatoon, sometimes they give me free stuff like this gun," explained Marie, as King Dedede now arrived at the scene, still listening to that tape. "The perks of having a war hero as your grandpa..." King Dedede, who had seemingly arrived late to the volleyball game, analyzed the scene - Cortex and Uka, soaked in paint and still in some pain - and so did Pit and Kirby, analyzing from their hiding spots.

"Alright, young Padawan, this is it, the moment of truth," said Pit, doing something much different from what King Dedede has been doing all day. "See those fools lying there on the volleyball court? I want you to suck them up, and spit them as far as you can!" Dedede found this task much different in nature compared to his other tasks, but the penguin was up for the challenge.

"Sucking up things is my specialty, and Kirby has always been trying to steal my thunder!" exclaimed Dedede, who huffed and puffed as me marched his way over to Cortex and Uka, breezing past everyone. "Time to show everyone who the real sucker is!" The penguin sucked up Cortex and Uka with all his might, and when he was done, he spat out the two evildoers into the sky, sending them flying away.

"YOUHAVEN'TSEENTHELASTOFME!" was the last thing Cortex said before he and Uka went away in true Team Rocket fashion. Peace and order was finally back at Alki Beach, and Charles was back in the loving arms of Luigi and Daisy, who were now comforting their son.

Kirby: We made King Dedede do a lot of stupid stuff today...so he wanted to make it up to him by having him do something heroic.
Pit: Also, we didn't want to risk having the mansion barred from returning to Alki Beach ever again because of Dedede, especially after Donkey Kong pulled a Harambe at Disneyland. Speaking of Harambe... *pulls down pants*
Kirby: NO KIRBY LEAVE THAT THING WHERE IT BELONGS!
Pit: Just like DK, aren't ya? It's not a thing, it's a...

"That penguin...that penguin is a hero..." a man pointed at King Dedede, who was now the center of attention. "Let's give him the praise and celebration he rightfully deserves!" Several beachgoers gathered around Dedede, and hoisted him over their shoulders, as they cheered him on and paraded him throughout the beach. Just as the narrator of his tape had promised, King Dedede was now universally liked, and the toast of the town...or the beach, rather.

"Well there goes our volleyball game..." remarked Fox, kicking the sand, as Coco and Aku were now looking for Crash. They would soon find the bandicoot, emerging from behind Snake when the coast was clear, and once Coco saw her brother...

"Crash, you're still alive!" she ran to the bandicoot, giving him quite a hug. Coco looked down, and saw in Crash's hands the crystal Cortex was looking for. "I see that you hid that crystal well...were you hiding from Cortex this whole time?" Crash eagerly nodded his head, as Coco embraced her brother yet again. "For a moment, I thought you'd be gone forever...glad to see you're safe and sound!"

"You had us worried when you got washed away, Crash," added Aku, joining in on the sibling reunion. "You're alive, and you still have that crystal, which means that we can now go back home..." Soon Master Hand showed up, salty that he missed all the action. He will likely blame Mario for no reason later.

"Curse you Wolf, and your missing speedo, thanks to you I have missed..." Master Hand grumbled, before he encountered Crash, Coco, and Aku. The three were in awe of the giant hand, and felt slightly intimidated. "Ah, Crash bandicoot, so good to see you! I see you've brought along your sister and your guardian mask. I'm Master Hand, creator of the Smash universe - I've tried to send you a Super Smash Bros invite for the longest, but I couldn't due to some...complications. So how about I make it up to you?"

"And just how are you going to do that?" asked Aku, serving as Crash's mouthpiece. Master Hand was more than glad to answer that question...


The residents returned to the mansion that evening (partly because of Wolf and his missing speedo), and the residents would welcome three new faces to the Smash Mansion - Crash, Coco, and Aku. Crash at the mansion was a dream come true for Master Hand, much to everyone's shock.

"Hey Luigi, sorry about what went down with Charles today, Sora was kinda distracting," Cloud apologized to Luigi, who was feeding Charles milk in from baby bottle while in the dining room, where Cilan treated Marie, the three newcomers, and everyone else to some dinner.

"It's okay Cloud, Master Hand made-a sure he had Jakob punish-a Sora yet again, since Link shared-a your sentiments as well," replied Luigi; betcha Sora was back to massaging Wario's entire body. "So you and Link-a are off the hook..for now. Hah, I'm just-a kidding...or am I?"

"I know you're kidding Luigi, stop playing around," said Cloud, as he ate his food. Elsewhere at the dining table, Mario and Peach were enjoying a conversation with the newcomers Crash, Coco, and Aku, though it was Coco and Aku who was doing all the talking.

"Crash had found the crystal lying near the coastline, and when he went over to retrieve it...the waves came in and washed him away," Coco detailed the story of how Crash was lost at sea. "So it was up to Aku and I to save my brother, and we were both relieved that he was at Alki Beach."

"We could tell because of the radar on Coco's jet ski - Coco is a highly intelligent individual, as she's very inventive," added Aku, as Bowser was now eavesdropping on the conversation. Another person that could potentially teach his kids, he now saw in Coco. "Our nemesis Cortex is inventive too, but his constant failures drag him down a bit..."

"As I have told-a Peach before, Cortex is the definition-a of a loser, and everyone saw-a that today," said Mario, taking a sip from his glass of tea, before Marie approached him. "Yes, Marie, may I help-a you?"

"I'm ready to return to Inkopolis...just received word from a fellow agent of mine that Callie was spotted somewhere in Octo Canyon," said Marie; Octo Canyon was a hidden hub for Octorians, like DJ Octavio for instance. "Received the information on my phone, so I'm ready to head back...so here's Mega Man and his NetNavi friend?"

"Must-a be in their room; I shall go get-a them." Mario got up from his chair and left the dining room, while Crash dug into his food like a madman. Talk about a lack of table manners.

If what the New Squidbeak Splatoon had told Marie was true, then the other half of the Squid Sisters, Callie, was out there, somewhere, possibly in the Octarians' possession. Marie just had to hope and pray that Marie, wherever she may be, was doing just fine, even if someone like DJ Octavio, the Octarian leader, was making her do his every bidding.

And Crash, Coco, and Aku were now permanent residents of the Smash Mansion...how about that?