Author's Note:
Lots of anonymous reviews this time around, so let's get to them:
"Can you add the ships from Galaga, Galaxian, and Bosconian? (Since they're part of Namco Bandai) how soon will the Death Battle and Dorkly reaction chapters show up? Will we see the other members of the Mishima family from Tekken appear? Will any other Mega Man Star Force characters appear? And finally, Saya and Sheath are from Namco x Capcom and Project X Zone 2. (And I wonder how the characters who remember them would react to them if they were to become residents of the Smash Mansion)"
Thanks for filling me in on Saya and Sheath. Might add the aforementioned ships. Reaction chapters should show up soon. More Mishima family members will appear, same might go for the Star Force characters. Second anonymous review:
"Someone in the Smash Mansion desides to plant a hyper nova seed, not knowing what it is or what it does. Oncd the seed has fully grown, Kirby finds it (maybe by going to the garden with Viridi and Pit?) and desides to eat it, since it's one of his favorite foods. He then becomes Hypernova Kirby. You can choose what goes on from there. (I'm also going to name myself Keeby! Props if you know where that name is from.)"
Yeah, Keeby from the Kirby series! Definitely knew that beforehand. (Thank you Google...) I shall use your idea at a later time. Third anonymous review:
"Can we see the Assist Trophy characters that don't live in the mansion? Like uh, the ones that aren't Mii Fighter costumes like Dillon? Maybe Bowser gets a pet Chain Chomp? I dunno."
Eh, I would add Assist Trophy characters, but if I did, I would have to split the Smash Mansion into two so every resident can have their fair chance in the spotlight. But I wouldn't rule out a Chain Chomp pet for Bowser. Moving on:
"When we hopefully get to see Isaac or Saki in the future (You don't have to add them), I hope they become either regular visitors or permanent residents."
Both are underrated Nintendo characters - they might be permanent residents in the near future. Though I might change my mind. Fourth anonymous review:
"Now since Mania comes out in 2 days could we perhaps see The Hard Boiled Heavies from Mania in here? Despite their name, they're quite dangerous (from what we've seen in offical material). I also request the appearance of obscure Crash Bandicoot character: Rilla Roo. I'd also like to request Pokémon Colosseum protagonist: Wes. AND! More Crazy Hand."
Yes, yes, yes, and YES! I played Crash Bash during my childhood, which means that I'm one of the selected few who knows about Rilla Roo's existence. Might add him to the story. Crazy Hand deserves more appearances, now that I think of it. On to Icarus:
"Can you get Noctis to appear in Smash Life?"
Of course! Noctis is a very complex character, and has a lot of depth, so incorporating him in Smash Life might be a hard task in itself. Last up is Derick Lindsey:
"...quick question you said that Tails was 6 years older then Cream but isn't Tails canonically 8 in the games and Cream 6?"
Yes, Cream is six...somehow got Cream and Amy's ages mixed up. Fixed the error. Continuing on:
"I also forgot did Jessie, James, and Meowth leave with Team Rocket at the end of the two part invasion?, because if not then could you have them team up with Cortex to invade the Mansion to get what they want (Crash and the crystal for Cortex and Pokemon specifically Pikachu for the TRio)."
They did leave, but I can have them make a triumphant comeback and team up with Cortex. One last question from Derick:
"...when is the Kiria crushing on Snake thing going to end?"
September, at the earliest...OR I could drag it out till the end of the year. I kid, I kid...
Episode 87: Broken
This week has been a great week for Dark Pit - ever since Flora kissed him on the cheek in the previous episode, the doppelganger was prompted to spend more quality time with the maid, and doing more activities together and whatnot. This was a huge blessing for Flora, for as you might recall, the maid suffered from grave self-esteem issues, and was lacking in confidence.
But the more time Flora spent with Dark Pit, the more confident she felt about herself and her abilities. Never was the maid afraid to try something new, like the golf simulator in the gaming room, or cooking a brunch with Lady Palutena. Whenever Dark Pit was around, Flora always felt that everything was alright, everything would turn out great...and that in turn improved her supposed relationship with Dark Pit.
Dark Pit and Flora would continue their bonding in the mansion's foyer, sitting in the windowsill and enjoying some malasadas, which were still a thing at the mansion. Flora was on her break, and she decided to use her break wisely and spend some quality time with a guy everyone assumed to be her love interest, Dark Pit. Who would ever think either Dark Pit or Flora would be in love, let alone with one another? Just imagine if Yoshi hadn't discontinued his strange fanfiction writing - he would have written a very intense fanfic about Dark Pit and Flora that would make anyone question his overall sanity.
"Just so we're clear, Master Hand was the one that allowed you to go on break, and not Jakob, right?" Dark Pit asked Flora; Jakob had said he was going to keep a close eye on Dark Pit and Flora in the previous chapter, and now the butler was standing at the top of the staircase, looking down on the maid and the doppelganger with an intent glare. Jakob was definitely appearing to be some sort of evil guy in recent weeks, and it would only be a matter of time before he started using pawns in his plans...like the two potential pawns he was very much looking at.
"Yes, but only through the jurisdiction of Jakob - Felicia and I worked under Jakob back at Nohr, and so the same thing is applied here," Flora answered with a nod, as Jakob walked away, unseen by anyone except the cameraman that took sight of the butler. Yeah, that guy was up to no good...if only Mario and the others could see it.
Jakob: To see Flora in a presumed relationship is, well...shocking, to say the least. Can't say the same for Felicia - from what I've seen with her and Corrin, she looks like a girl that could carry a relationship, by herself, and suffice for the flaws of her boyfriend (and trust me, I know Corrin too well, and he has a lot of which I'm frankly too ashamed to even mention). Flora, on the other hand, struggles with self-esteem and anxiety, and although her self-worth seems to be improving because of Dark Pit, her anxiety is still at an all-time low...perfect for my own intent. *smiles somewhat evilly*
"Maybe it's just me, but I don't think Jakob is all that," remarked Dark Pit; good thing Jakob was no longer around to hear that. "He's just so condescending to everyone, unless you're Corrin and Kamui - those two get a pass. I mean, I can be pretty snobbish too, but I feel like Jakob tends to take his snobbishness to a whole other level, and he can be very blunt with the way he does things. Don't know what Mario and Master Hand see in the guy!"
"To be honest, Dark Pit, I pray and hope that Jakob doesn't become a permanent member of the mansion," said Flora; hearing that would break Jakob's heart...provided the man had a heart in the first place. "I know from experience - he's rude, dismissive, and at times impolite. And I fear that he might be expressing favoritism with Felicia over me...I can tell in the way that he treats her."
"Yeah, I've noticed that too, doesn't boss her around as much as he does with you. That does kinda account for favoritism if you ask...me?" Dark Pit suddenly grew concerned, when he saw Bowser Jr. and the Koopalings, all dressed in black and wearing weird black-and-white masks. "Um, you guys do know Halloween isn't until two months from August, right?" Dark Pit would ask the Kooaplings.
"We have found the target...get him, guys!" ordered Bowser Jr., as the Koopalings ran towards Dark Pit, grabbing the doppelganger and throwing him to the floor, before giving him a classic Boyz In Da Hood beatdown, like they were a bunch of gang members beating up someone from a rivaling gang. Flora could only watch in horror as Dark Pit got beat up, until Bowser Jr. held his hand up, ordering the Koopalings to stop. The son of Bowser walked up to Dark Pit, and pulled him up to his feet, the doppelganger staggering just a little.
"The deal has been done...it's time for you to make your appearing!" Bowser Jr. said to nobody in particular, but just then, a person walked out from the darkened portion of the foyer, dressed in a black robe and holding a black-and-white umbrella over his head. Dark Pit and Flora looked inquisitively, as this person had a childlike deposition, with blue eyes, yet with a strand of white in their hair.
This random person, dressed in black and carrying an umbrella, was apparently Pit, as the angel walked up to Dark Pit. What in the world was happening...
"Ah, Brother Kuro...I'd knew you'd be here..." echoed Pit, speaking with some strange British accent. Dark Pit tried to fight the Koopalings' grip, but it was no use. "You love Flora...you love Flora, more than you have ever loved me. I don't think, that you ever loved me at all, Brother Kuro...everyone in this mansion loves you, Brother Kuro, but not me...why is that so?"
"Because you have mad problems, and some serious issues, as you're proving to me right now," answered Dark Pit, as Pit maintained a serious persona about himself. It was the most serious he ever was since episode 55, when he was acting all emo and such. "A trip to a mental institution would work wonders for you."
"You've made a fatal mistake, Brother Kuro...your mistake, is that you never finished me!" When, during the events of Kid Icarus: Uprising, or in a regular Smash battle? If the latter, why would Pit be so worked up over it? "You've left me broken, and yet you did not finish the job...but with my functioning brain, I have devised a plan - a plan that would lead to your destruction! Now, Brother Kuro, I want you...I want you to SUFFER!"
The Koopalings would proceed to beat up Dark Pit once more, with Bowser Jr. joining in this time. But Dark Pit would fight through the Koopalings, pushing Roy and Morton to the floor, as he grabbed Flora's hand and ran off, with Pit watching. Dark Pit had just about enough of Pit's nonsense...
"Keep running, Brother Kuro, but you cannot hide...you can never hide, from broken brilliance!" exclaimed Pit, before laughing like a typical villain, his arms held out to the heavens. Watching from underneath a cardboard box was Snake, who lifted down his box before scooting away unseen.
Snake: Come to think of it, having Pit sniff the cocaine to prove to him that it wasn't sugar might've been a bad idea, from a long-term standpoint...but hey, the kid acted like he smoked crack beforehand, so I can't feel that guilty. Now back to hiding...
Sonic was still hurt from Tails keeping his "secret relationship" with Coco away from him, so hurt that he couldn't bring himself to share the same bedroom with the yellow fox. So to distance himself from his "former" best friend, the hedgehog asked permission from Master Hand to swap rooms with Yoshi, and now the blue blur was roommates with Knuckles, his #1 best friend of Sonic origin.
"You think you're ever gonna forgive Tails for keeping his relationship a secret from you?" Knuckles asked Sonic, who was feeding Shaymin, as he was doing sit-ups in the middle of the room. Hard to believe that Knuckles, as strong as he was, never had abs, but the echidna decided to change all of that today.
"Not unless Tails finally admits to being in the wrong and acknowledges that keeping secrets is never a safe thing to do," answered Sonic, after he was done feeding his pet Pokemon. "Hopefully Tails and Coco didn't fall in love at first sight - not only would that be cliche, but it would also sting, at least for me! Imagine keeping away a secret for like, three weeks! Three is never a good number - three strikes, and you're out!"
Suddenly there was a knock on the door; Knuckles finished his sit-ups and got up off the floor to answer the door. Once he opened the door, he saw Crash and Coco standing by, with Aku floating in the air.
"Well if it isn't the bandicoot siblings and the floating...talking...mask thing," remarked Knuckles, not knowing that Aku was actually a witchdoctor mask. And yet nobody, not even Crash or Coco, has ever saw Aku doing any witchdoctor stuff. Can't use his lack of limbs as an excuse! "You came to exercise, with the strongest echidna around, the guardian of the Master Emerald?" Knuckles flexed his muscles, thinking this would impress Crash and company...but it didn't. "Don't be shy to say no, you can always come exercise with me another day!"
"We're not here for any exercising, Knuckles..." stated Coco, with a smile on her cheery face. "...I just wanted to come here and...clear up some things with Sonic." On that remark, Sonic quickly placed Shaymin back in her cage, and hopped on his (new) bed, covering himself with a blanket. Pretty effective move, since everyone saw the hedgehog do this in broad daylight.
"Sonic the Hedgehog isn't here anymore ma'am, he tried to run away from the mansion yesterday and got ran over by a speeding vehicle," explained Sonic, speaking in a formal tone that didn't do much to quell anyone's suspicions. "His untimely death has not been reported until today, it should be in the crime blotter soon...or the obituary. Either one shall do."
"Yesterday I saw Sonic the Hedgehog throwing water balloons at Link's mailman, and not receiving any form of comeuppance for his behavior." And that's when Sonic remained quiet. "C'mon Sonic, I know you're hiding underneath that blanket, just give it up already!"
"Why do you instantly assume that Sonic is underneath this blanket? What if, the being underneath this blanket...was a ghost! Oooooooooh!" Sonic chanted, moving his arms about under the blanket like he really was a ghost. The only person legitimately scared was Crash, whose legs were quivering, but everyone else was unfazed. They were witnessing one of the crappiest ghost impersonations take place.
"Give it up Sonic, we all know you're under that blanket, we all saw you hide and everything," said Knuckles, and Sonic, finally admitting defeat, threw the blanket off of his head, before getting off the bed and approaching the bandicoots...and Aku. Sonic just stared at the three, with his hands in his pockets...something he would do if he had pockets in the first place. If only Sonic wore pants...
Tails: Am I at all worried about Sonic "ending" our friendship? Not in the slightest - this already happened before, but under a different circumstance. One time, Sonic called off our friendship when I openly stated that Amy Adams wasn't that pretty as everyone made her out to be, and Sonic kept rambling on and on about how Adams was the hottest actress in Hollywood and a bunch of other crud. It nearly gotten to the point where Sonic questioned if I even liked girls, all because of a simple, honest opinion I made! After five days of Sonic pretending I didn't exist, like I was some kind of invisible ghost, I took back what I said, and just like that, our friendship picked up right where it left off. *looks around* But to this day, I still don't think Amy Adams isn't that pretty. You won't hold that against me, would you?
(Note: Tails's opinions does not reflect the opinions of the folks behind Smash Life)
"Sup Crash, how's it going my man?" asked Sonic, giving some dap to the bandicoot. "Sup Aku, what's the weather like up there, feeling chilly?" Sonic, knowing he couldn't give dap to Aku, just acknowledged the floating mask by pointing at him. However, there was one person the hedgehog didn't acknowledge...Coco Bandicoot.
"Um, Sonic, I do believe that you're forgetting someone..." said the blonde bandicoot, as Sonic looked at her like she was some kind of foreign alien from a very distant planet. The body language should tell you everything you need to know about Sonic's current relationship with Coco.
"Oh, sorry, I don't talk with anyone associated with former friends. You're a part of Tails's secret relationship, so until Tails admits that he was in the wrong, you'll just remain the Chris Benoit to my Vince McMahon, if you know what I mean..." If Coco didn't, then Pit would be more than happy to fill the bandicoot in...if he wasn't "broken", as he called it earlier.
"You claim that you can't talk with anyone associated with former friends...and yet you've asked Master Hand to be roommates with Knuckles, who is a very close friend of Tails," pointed out Aku, who completely stumped Sonic. Aku was great at pointing out things logically...must come from the experience of following around a crazy goofball like Crash on his adventures.
"Just because we're roommates doesn't mean that we talk with one another! Yes, Knuckles may have spoken to me a minute ago, but because I know how truly tough the guy is! I mean, do you have any idea how strong and tough Knuckles is? He's so strong and tough, he could take on any wrestler, amatuer or professional, and make them cry for their mommy! He could give Chuck Norris nightmares - in fact, Knuckles is the only thing Chuck Norris is afraid of! It's no wonder we hardly see Norris these days, he's just trying to avoid Knuckles!"
"Funny you should mention the bit about wrestlers, Sonic - Master Hand is apparently bringing some wrestlers over to the mansion, so we could have some kind of 'early Summerslam', as he called it. Apparently he asked Mario to buy some tickets for Summerslam, and Mario didn't do it, and so now we're going to have our very own Summerslam, at the mansion, with wrestlers and whatnot...heard he's speaking with Itsuku and Touma right now about bringing over the wrestlers. I got a bad feeling about what Master Hand has in store..."
Shulk had a weird, annoying habit...a habit of telling everyone that he was really feeling it, whether he was brushing his teeth, playing billiards in the gaming room, or whenever he used the bathroom. (To be fair, anyone would be feeling it after a quick bathroom break.) But today, the Homs wasn't feeling it at all...for someone had ransacked his closet!
Yes, Shulk's closet was ransacked, and not only was Shulk affected, but his roommate Dunban, who shared the closet, was affected as well. Their clothes were stolen, from their regular wear, to their swimwear, to clothes that they didn't even know they had. The clothes were nowhere to be seen, not even at the laundry room. Not wanting to spend their day wearing boxers like Sora once did, Shulk and Dunban were determined to find fitting clothes that would suit them temporarily, and it wasn't until they were approached by Toad that their hopes of finding clothes were fulfilled.
"Please tell me you found clothes that aren't unflattering, I would hate to see Shulk and Dunban becomes jokes of the mansion," Fiora spoke with Toad, standing with the presumed drug lord outside of his room. "Though it would be worth it to snap some pictures and post it onto social media...but not at the cost of diminishing either Shulk or Dunban's dignity."
"The clothes I found for Shulk and Dunban were supplied by Heihachi, so you shouldn't have anything to worry about," assured Toad, as Fiora let out a sigh of relief. Will we see Shulk and Dunban dressed up as kung fu masters? "No part of their dignity will be lost, trust me. Alright, Dunban and Shulk, come on out!"
Shulk and Dunban would exit the room, both wearing outfits from Tekken Tag Tournament 2...with Shulk dressed up as Sheik, and Dunban dressed up as Toad. The clothes weren't unflattering, and it didn't make either Homs lose their dignity...but Fiora couldn't help but chuckle at Dunban, being dressed up as Toad.
Dunban: *taking off Toad cap* Even while dressed up as Toad, I still have a lot of questions on my mind...how do we know Toad isn't keeping anything under his cap? Could be hiding shrooms under there...and not the good kind of shrooms.
Shulk: What I wanna know is, how big of a risk would it be if I were to pose as Sheik in public, and make everyone assume that Sheik was a guy instead of a gal?
Dunban: Only a select few of social justice warriors believe Sheik is a girl. So you should be fine regardless...
"Toad, are you sure that this cap might be a little too big?" asked Dunban, as Fiora had her mouth covered to stifle her laughter. Meanwhile, Shulk was busy looking for his ponytail...only to realize that a ponytail didn't come with the outfit. That would have really confused common folk.
"It was the only size Heihachi provided," answered Toad, who might be hiding shrooms underneath his cap. And you say he wasn't a drug lord... "Besides, I don't see anything wrong with it, it will keep your head all cozy! Just don't put the cap in the washing machine, or the drying machine for that matter, and you'll be fine."
"This cap may be comfortable and all, but I can't possibly be seen wearing this outfit all day long. I'm starting to miss my usual attire already..." Proto Man, the silent edgelord, walked by and saw Shulk and Dunban, adorned in their costumes, and said...well, nothing. Dude was just staring, not sure what to make of the Homs' attire.
"Eh, this isn't even the weirdest thing I've seen at the mansion, so I have nothing to say...I'll just let you two be great," remarked Proto Man, as he walked away, continuing his silent edgelord ways. Shulk and Dunban weren't mocked or made fun of, so that was a huge plus.
"Just give it one day, and maybe the next day, your clothes will show up, back in your closet," Toad said to Shulk and Dunban, instilling in the both of them a sense of confidence they did not care for. "I'm sure everything will be back to normal sooner than you know it!"
Dark Pit and Flora were running away from Pit, who had apparently went "broken", and they were also running away from the Koopalings, all of whom were semeingly working for Pit, for whatever reason. The two would reach the gaming room, where they saw Felicia completing her maid duties.
"You go help out your twin sister, while I hide somewhere!" Dark Pit told Flora; the maid nodded and went to her sister, while the doppelganger frantically ran to a couch, hiding himself underneath the furniture. Sitting on this couch, however, was Link and Zelda, and they saw Dark Pit in the act of hiding.
"Dark Pit, why the heck are you hiding under the couch for?" questioned Link, who was enjoying a little chit-chat with Zelda before Dark Pit ran out of nowhere and made the couch his hiding spot. There were far more better hiding spots available in the gaming room for the doppelganger to use. "Hiding under the couch is very typical Pit behavior - don't tell us you're starting to act like the guy!"
"Pit has gone crazy - he's dressed in black, and has this white streak in his hair, and he says that he wants to destroy me!" responded Dark Pit, poking his head out of the couch. "He claimed that I never loved him or something, and that I never finished him, and on top of all that...he referred to me as 'Brother Kuro'!" Link and Zelda found this too strange, but Zelda had an idea as to the reason behind Pit's odd behavior.
"Pit might be emulating something he saw while watching wrestling, I assume," stated the princess, recalling that one time Pit acted like Triple H and savagely attacked random people with a sledgehammer. Got grounded by Palutena after nailing Captain Falcon in the nether regions. "I'd say give it a few more hours until Palutena sees Pit acting crazy and punishes him."
"I can't wait a few more hours, what if Pit grows crazier? Dude already said that he was 'broken'...what could possibly be worse than that?!" Dark Pit shuddered to think upon it.
Pit: *standing next to a random Girafarig* Ah, George Washington, I knew you'd come... *laughs manically*
Girafarig: *does nothing until Pit feeds him carrots*
Pit: Yes, I've come forth bearing gifts...your favorite food, the carrot. But I'm here to ask you, George Washington, for I am at a crossroads...the Seven Deities told me, that I must destroy Brother Kuro...since you're my closest confidant in the Great War, you must tell me...what must I do? Enlighten me, I beg of you!
Girafarig: *does a cry as he eats his carrots*
Pit: Yes George, your advice is invaluable, it's priceless! You're the most wise soul to have ever existed! I now know what I must do, I must send out Vanguard 1...and Senor Kirby, to retrieve Brother Kuro!
Kirby entered the gaming room, and the pink puffball wasn't alone...he was accompanied by a drone flying in the air, and the presence of the drone was enough to capture the attention of everyone in the gaming room, looking at the device before continuing their usual activities.
"Hey Kirby, nice drone you got there!" Kamui approached the puffball, complimenting the drone. "Haven't seen a drone like that ever since the Mario Bros, Corrin and I went to that Star Wars convention. There was a drone flying all over the place, and Corrin was scared that it was some sort of alien UFO!" Lord help Corrin if an Amazon delivery drone came to the mansion to deliver something - there would be a potential lawsuit in the making if Corrin got involved.
"That is Senor Kirby to you, Miss Kamui," responded Kirby, having been sent to the gaming room by Pit under the advice of George Washington, a Founding Father of the United States apparently a Girafarig. "The drone you see before you is Vanguard 1, it can fire lasers and teleport people. We're here looking for Dark Pit - we must capture him and bring him to Pit so we can delete him and render him...obsolete."
"Dark Pit just ran inside the gaming room, I think he hid underneath the couch Link and Zelda are sitting at," Kamui pointed at the couch in question, as Dark Pit nervously gulped loudly. Kirby and Vanguard 1 walked over to the couch, as Link and Zelda did nothing that would fend Dark Pit from the puffball and the drone.
"I know you're hiding in there, Dark Pit, so just come out so we can make things easier..." ordered Kirby, but the doppelganger did nothing...so Kirby was forced to resort to other measures. "Didn't want to do this, but you left me with no other choice...Link, Zelda, I strongly recommend that you get out of the way." The two Hylians did as they were told, getting off the couch as Kirby huffed, and he puffed, and he sucked up Dark Pit from under the couch, now having the doppelganger in his mouth as he ran off, Vanguard 1 following after.
"Someone get me out of here, this sucks and I don't deserve this!" Dark Pit cried from inside Kirby's mouth, stuck inside a prison that had no exit. "Also, where on earth is your stomach Kirby?!" One of the many unsolved mysteries of the universe.
Today was the last day for the Star Fox pilots' YouTube competition with Little Mac and Knuckles, and Fox and Falco wished to end things with a bang and go all out with their pranks. The prank they were doing now involved pantsing residents, and they would find two poor victims in Ryu and Ike, the two walking together in the hallway discussing fitness.
"I bench pressed over 400 pounds blindfolded, without breaking a sweat!" bragged Ike - alright, so maybe they were bragging about their abilities more than they were discussing fitness. "Bet you can't even do that!"
"400 pounds is practically nothing for me - try bench pressing 1000 pounds, while standing on ONE FOOT!" retorted Ryu - he could pursue a career in powerlifting with a feat like that. "Your silly acts of strength mean nothing to me!"
Before Ike could fire back, Fox and Falco ran by, pulling down the pants of the swordsman and Ryu. Ike was wearing normal-looking briefs, whereas Ryu was wearing boxers...with Chun-li's face on it. No doubt Ryu was blushing a little.
Ryu: *shrugs* What, I gotta show some support for my woman, even in the most unorthodox ways! Also, the boxers themselves were pretty cheap, too, it was quite a bargain!
"Hey, this is very uncalled for, you two get back here!" an angered Ike called out to Fox and Falco, who were snickering as they ran down the hallway. Good thing no woman was around to whistle at Ike and Ryu.
"You pilots shall pay for this, you'll reap what you sow!" added Ryu, shaking his fist at the pilots as they made a turn around the hallway corner. Fox and Falco came to a stop, bursting into a laughing fit.
"Bruh, did you see Chun-li on the back of Ryu's boxers?" Falco asked Fox, having caught a glimpse of Ryu's boxers after pantsing the kung fu fighter. "I mean, I know he loves the chick, but dang bro, that's taking it too far in my opinion!"
"I expected something more ironic, like boxers with hearts on them...would really degrade Ryu's manliness," replied Fox, giggling, before his eyes fell prey on another victim...Lloyd Irving. The swordsman exited the vending machine room, holding a book under his arm. Lloyd's heightened intelligence really gave the swordsman a great appreciation for reading books. "How about we pull down Lloyd's pants? Looks like an easy target."
So Fox and Falco ran up to Lloyd, sneaking up behind him, and when the time was right...they simultaneously pulled down the swordsman's pants, exposing his boxers. Lloyd looked down as he was walking, seeing his pants pulled down and couldn't do anything to stop it, for he was in a state of shock.
"Wait, what, what the...AAAAAAAH!" the swordsman said as he continued walking, before slipping and falling, his head colliding against a nearby table before falling unto the floor. Fox and Falco laughed at Lloyd as they waited for him to get up...but the swordsman wasn't responding! Nervous, the pilots approached Lloyd, and upon further inspection...it looked like the swordsman was knocked out cold!
"Hoo boy, we definitely screwed up this time..." remarked Fox, shaking his head at an unconscious Lloyd. Gotta take the man to the fitness center ASAP.
Wii Fit Trainer was busy in the fitness center, doing her calisthenics, when she saw Fox and Falco enter the fitness center, with Falco carrying Lloyd in his arms like he just rescued him from a burning building. Lloyd's pants were pulled up to avoid any form of suspicion about his unconsciousness.
"My goodness, what on earth has happened to poor Lloyd?" gasped Wii Fit, as she stopped her calisthenics to check on the swordsman. "Did you find him lying unconscious somewhere, or was it a self-inflicted injury?"
"Lloyd's head injury was actually self-inflicted," explained Falco, as Fox quickly shot a disapproving look at the avian pilot, shaking his head. The pilots couldn't make any mention of them holding responsibility for Lloyd's injury. "...but that's what Fox and I believe. We actually found the man on the floor, and with the fitness center close by, we had to rush him said fitness center pronto."
Fox: I'm scared man...what if Lloyd getting knocked out affects his brain, and he goes back to being regular Lloyd - being stupid and annoying?
Falco: It's bad enough that we have to go through a similar phase with Sora; Aerith is apparently too afraid to tell him the truth about Cloud. Said that the truth "might set Sora free"...yeah it will, it'll free him of his ignorance!
Fox: Yeah, when you consider how Sora is, I hope Lloyd stays the same, and he can continue teaching Bowser's kids. Who needs public schools anyways?
"I see...follow me, Leia will know what to do with Lloyd," said Wii Fit, as the trainer led Fox and Falco to a room where Leia was already present. "Miss Rolando, I'm afraid we have a patient...Lloyd here is knocked out cold, and Fox and Falco claimed they saw him lying on the floor by himself. Can you tend to him?" Leia, glancing at poor Lloyd, knew she would be an idiot if she answered no.
"Of course I can - put him on the patient bed and I'll see what I can do," the nurse responded, as Falco placed Lloyd on the patient bed, feeling nervous like Fox was...and for many guilty reasons.
Mario and Peach, wanting to spruce up their living room a little, were expecting Olimar and Alph to deliver some flowers from the mansion gardens to their home. While they were waiting for the astronauts, the married couple were trying to figure out if there were any secrets on the disc Jakob secretly inserted into their computer...but to no avail.
"Looked everywhere - on the hard-a drive, in the file explorer, and yet I can't-a seem to find the disc anywhere on-a the computer!" frowned Mario, after spending much of his time looking for the disc, with Peach standing over him. "Disc must-a have a one-a time use...never have I seen a disc-a like that!"
"With Toon Link and Young Link still doing their police escapades, perhaps we could ask them to find the individual with ownership of the disc," suggested Peach, before rethinking her suggestion after thinking about the Mr. Game and Watch fiasco. "...or we could ask Layton and Luke instead. That would work."
"Hmm, this whole-a incident might have some correlation to the hotel-a attack. The message on that-a disc definitely sounded like a threat-a directed at us. It's likely that..." Mario was suddenly interrupted by a knock at the door - Olimar and Alph had arrived. "Excuse-a me, princess Peach..."
Mario got out of his chair and went to the front door, and when he opened it, he saw Olimar and Alph, flanked by flowers of different shapes, sizes, and colors. The living room of Mario's home was about to look absolutely amazing.
"Howdy Mario and Peach - we've brought you the best flowers we could find!" exclaimed Olimar, making sure not to drop the flower pot he was holding in his hands. "Soon your living room will be the talk of the town...if people get to see your living room often, that is. Either way, it'll look great!"
"Can't thank you-a enough for bringing us-a some flowers - come right-a on in!" said Mario, allowing Olimar and Alph to enter Mario's home as the plumber assisted the astronauts in taking the flowers inside.
"This place looks nice already...can't wait till I have myself a wife and live out on my own!" remarked Alph, analyzing Mario's home once all the flowers were inside. "Have my place looking all nice and stuff..."
Alph: Everyday I yearn to find love at a young age, and I wish to find my true love at Hocotate Freight...but there's not a babe worthy enough for me. And don't you even DARE to bring up Brittney. Charlie can marry her and know what it's like to feel extremely miserable.
"Alright, got the flowers in, so let's assemble them around the living room..." said Olimar, before his eyes caught a flower pot, with no flowers in it. The astronaut would take a look at the flower pot...and once he got close, a large Piranha Plant suddenly sprung out from the soil, eating poor Olimar and swallowing him whole. Mario, Peach, and Alph watched this go down in shock, as the Piranha Plant smiled once devouring its prey. "Hello, anyone here, why it's so dark?" Olimar's voice was heard from inside the plant. "Am I stuck inside a Piranha Plant again?! That's the ninth time this month...Alph, what did I tell you about bringing empty flower pots to Mario's place?!"
"My apologies, Captain Olimar, I was in a rush!" apologized Alph, but his apology wouldn't work because Olimar was still trapped in his botanic prison. "I just saw that flower pot by itself, and I grabbed it in a hurry! Thought we inspected all the empty flower pots, but turns out I was wrong..."
"Olimar is going to be safe in there, is he?" Peach disconcertingly asked Alph; she feared that the Pirahna Plant had dangerous plant fluids that could harm Olimar, and potentially disintegrate the astronaut if he were to come in contact.
"He will be, unless we can't find a way to get him out..." A regular Piranha Plant, no problem, but one larger than normal? Alph and company had their work cut out for them...
As orders from Master Hand, Itsuki and Touma were in the movie room summoning pixelated versions of WWE superstars, due to the fact that A) they were responsible for the Roman Reigns incident in episode 67, and B) Pit was too "broken" to complete the task himself, a task he would've enjoyed completing. Master Hand had high hopes for his "Mini Summerslam", and gave Touma a list of wrestlers he wanted to participated at his whack wrestling show.
"According to this list, Master Hand wants us to send out the following wrestlers - Matt Hardy, Jeff Hardy, Tyler Breeze, Fandango, Sami Zayn...and Sting," Touma read off the list on his hand. The six wrestlers mentioned were apparently in a tag team match set up by Master Hand...Lord knows the referee refereeing that hodgepodge match.
"I'm sure one of the guys on that list is retired," said Itsuki, that wrestler being Sting. Very interesting choice by Master Hand. "Could be Sting, I could tell just by hearing that name. Sounds like a wrestler name for someone from the nineties. So how do we do this thing again?"
"Remember when you tried to stop that wrestling recording, and you hit the wrong button? Maybe if we hit that button again, we can send out the wrestlers that way. But first, we have to find clips of the wrestlers on the VCR...let's take a look at the video library..."
Touma glanced at the VCR's video library, and was stunned to see hundreds of wrestling clips on the video device. Most of these clips were aptly named with the names of the six wrestlers, making it easier for Touma to find the performers Master Hand wanted for his "Mini Summerslam". After pulling up a few clips and finding the wrestlers, Itsuki pressed the button, sending out six pixelated wrestlers in total, all of them standing in the movie room...Matt Hardy, Jeff Hardy, Tyler Breeze, Fandango, Sami Zayn, and Sting, standing together in perfect pixelated glory. They may not be the real deal, but for Master Hand, they'll do...
Master Hand: Gonna be starting off small with my first-ever wrestling show, it will have a distinct indie feel - people will be sitting in folding chairs, inside a large room with a wrestling ring in the center, and spectators will be cheering on all night long. Don't know how big the wrestling scene is in Seattle, so I've opted to have several residents in attendance for my "Mini Summerslam"...whether they like it or not.
"Hello to you all - I am Itsuki Aoi, and this here is my good friend, Touma Akagi," Itsuki would introduce himself and Touma to the pixelated wrestlers, who were very skeptical about the two. "We, uh, brought you six here so you can be a part of this, uh, wrestling show called 'Mini Summerslam'." The wrestlers, not sure what to make of this, made questionable looks as they glanced at one another. "Now I guarantee you, this is just like the actual Summerslam, but let's just say that..."
"Does this 'Mini Summerslam' have the same feel that the regular Summerslam does?" asked Zayn, raising his hand. Itsuki bit his lip, comtemplating whether he should answer the question or not.
"If Summerslam was an indie show, and not a big-time program...then yeah!" The six wrestlers, with their minds made up, nodded their heads, as they were exiting the movie room, one by one. "Hey, where are you guys going, are you gonna give the show a chance?!"
"Look man, we appreciate the offer, but it's a no from all of us," said Matt Hardy, turning around to provide Itsuki his answer. "Let us know when there's a legit wrestling show taking place, so we won't have to waste our time!" The elder Hardy was the last wrestler to leave, as Itsuki fell to his knees. A couple of rebelling pixelated wrestlers would definitely put a dent in Master Hand's plans.
Not wishing to be a part of Master Hand's silly wrestling show, the Breezango duo - Tyler Breeze and Fandango, dressed up as fashion police - patrolled the Smash Mansion, looking for someone they could give a ticket to for their fashion sense. They would come across Shulk and Dunban, who still couldn't find their clothes, and were also still wearing their costumes. The Homs stopped in place when they encountered Breezango, who got their notepads ready for writing up some tickets.
"Funny mushroom hat...unique ninja attire...I take it you fellas are about to embark on a video game convention of some sort?" Fandango asked Shulk and Dunban, clicking the ink pen in his hand. Breezango's first fashion tickets were about to be written sooner than expected!
"No sir, it's just that we've lost our clothes, and so we were left with no other choice but to wear these threads," explained Shulk, feeling the sudden urge to use the bathroom...if only his ninja outfit had a zipper. "We're only wearing these costumes temporarily until our regular clothes show up."
"And yet you couldn't find anything better to dress up in?" questioned Breeze, who had his ink pen ready to go. A pixelated pen, but a pen nonetheless. "Sounds like a fashion felony, doesn't it Fandango? Let's write these two blokes up!"
"No, wait, stop what you're doing!" Dunban halted Fandango and Breeze, stopping them in place before they could write their tickets. "My friend Shulk and I were busy looking for clothes...since you two are police officers...somewhat, perhaps you can help us look for our clothes." Breezango, mulling over this offer, ultimately decided that solving a fashion-related crime was eons better than some silly "Mini Summerslam".
"Missing clothes is quite a travesty...you boys got yourselves a deal," replied Fandango, agreeing to Dunban's terms. "Breeze and I will be looking for the clothes ourselves, and we'll be searching...undercover." And Breeze and Fandango sure experts at going undercover, too.
Fandango: Just walked by a grown man wearing a green elf hat and a monkey with a shirt, but no pants... *shakes head* ...I'm expecting to give out loads of fashion tickets at this fine establishment.
So where would Master Hand's "Mini Summerslam" take place at, you might ask? It would take place at the dancing room, where Pit used to do his egregious wrestling training. Master Hand ordered Palutena to order a wrestling ring, like she did for Pit, and place it in the seldom-used dancing room, where there folding chairs all set up around the ring. Although the event didn't start until later, Isabelle was in the ring with the apparent referee, Wolf, discussing his referee duties.
"Whaddaya mean, I'm not allowed to harm any of the performers, where's the fun in that?!" frowned Wolf, showing signs of being a sucky ref early on. Or unless he wished to do someone a favor. "If I call the match like any other referee, it will make my job totally boring!"
"Hurting any of the wrestlers would give a narrative to the audience that you have a particular bias against that wrestler, and it would degrade the match," explained Isabelle, as Wolf scoffed and rolled his eyes. "We want to eliminate as much bias as possible, and have the match end cleanly."
"Oh I know, well how about I attack every wrestler participating - hit every one of 'em with a steel chair! I could be an equal opportunity referee - everyone gets a fair, equal chance at getting beat up!" Too bad no such type of referee ever existed in wrestling.
"No, you're going to call the match exactly how it's supposed to be called. No shenanigans or horseplay. Master Hand is apparently putting a lot of effort and heart into his wrestling show, and I don't want him to feel disappointed."
Isabelle exited the wrestling ring, as Wolf groaned, not in favor of his referee duties. Sonic and Knuckles entered the dancing room, holding wrestling flyers for the "Mini Summerslam". Only one match was advertised, a tag team match - the Hardy Boyz and Sting, vs Breezango and Sami Zayn. One of the more random match ever assembled in wrestling history.
"To think Master Hand called this match a 'dream match'..." Knuckles frowned, glancing at the flyer as he and Sonic placed the flyers on a nearby table. "Now where are the rest of the flyers, didn't Master Hand tell Crash to bring some?"
Right on cue, Crash entered the dancing room, spinning like maniac as he entered because, well, spinning was the bandicoot's specialty. Wrestling flyers were fling all over the place, until Crash finally came to a stop, posing in front of Sonic and Knuckles and saying "Ta-da!"
"In all my time knowing Crash, I could never understand how the man is able to spin like that without even losing his breath," Sonic would say to Knuckles, who nodded his head, for he did not understand either. Same possibly could be said for Aku, who arrived at the dancing room after looking for Crash.
"Next time you go on a spin-crazy sprint like that Crash, please warn me ahead of time, so I won't waste my time looking for you," the floating mask said to the bandicoot, still in his pose. "If I had an actual respiratory system, I would've ran out of breath because of you..." Aku lacks a respiratory system, and yet he sweats? Makes sense...
Aku: Monitoring Crash has its ups and downs, I have to admit - while Crash is quite a handful, he's much better than being stuck with Cortex. I feel so bad for Uka, having to follow Cortex 24/7, but he's evil, so he deserves it.
Crash: *stares at camera, before licking it profusely with his tongue*
Tails and Coco entered the gaming room, enjoying a little chit-chat with one another, much to the chagrin of Sonic. The hedgehog didn't mind Coco's presence, but with Tails, it was a different story. Sonic couldn't stand to share the same room with someone so secretive, someone he couldn't trust to save him from drowning at a public pool - seeing Tails made Sonic feel some type of way about him.
"We all initially thought the prize money would go to the last person standing, but it turns out Bowser was destined to win the money from the very start," Tails conversed with Coco, discussing the epic prank war that took place at the mansion. The conversation would come to an end when Tails and Coco encountered Sonic and company, with Sonic glaring at Tails. "Oh, hi Sonic! I see you're getting the flyers ready for Master Hand's Summerslam thing!"
"And I see that you and Coco are still in love..." groaned Sonic, still glaring at Tails. Almost making the poor fox feel scared. "I would commend you for finding your true love so young, but seeing that we're no longer friends, there will be no commending from me!"
"Sonic are you still angry at me because I kept my 'relationship' with Coco a 'secret' from you? We were never in a relationship in the first place, we're just best friends. Like I said before, we're never crossing the line as far as our friendship goes. No romance from us!"
"'Just friends' is a cover most couples do as a front to dissuade others from learning the truth about their love. Your excuse isn't gonna work on me Tails, I know you and Coco got a relationship going! No point in hiding it anymore!"
"Yeah, sure Sonic...anyways, Lady Palutena made some malasadas in the kitchen, and they look delicious!" explained Coco, who never had the Hawaiian treat before. "Tails and I are about to grab some malasadas - I'd advise you guys get some before they're all gone! That goes especially for you, Crash!"
So Tails and Coco would exit the dancing room, with Coco looking back at Crash and Aku with a saddened face. She and Tails couldn't be in the dancing room for a full minute because of Sonic being Sonic, and her face seemed to pity Crash for having Sonic as a friend. But Crash didn't care.
Sonic and company were about to place the flyers on the folding chairs, when a pixelated wrestler, with white facepaint and brown hair, strolled into the dancing room with a cape on, holding a black baseball bat in his hand. This wrestler - an icon, a legend, a visionary - was known by one name, and one name only...Sting. This legendary pixelated wrestler kept strolling through the dancing room, his glance fixated on the wrestling ring in the center.
"Go ahead and eat your stinking malasadas with Coco, Tails, keep on progressing your relationship I don't care..." grumbled Sonic as he placed the flyers in the chairs, before encountering Sting. The hedgehog dropped the flyers to the floor, and looked up at Sting in awe. "Hey, I know you from somewhere - you're that Sting guy I saw on some wrestling show somewhere! It was when I was flipping through the channels one day - I saw you and some other wrestler going at it in the ring, and I just watched you two do your thing before changing the channel to some Paula Deen show. Think it was Paula Deen..."
Sting didn't say a word - he just stared at the hedgehog, and let his silence do the talking. Sometimes actions speak louder than words, and although Sting wasn't doing any actions, he still allowed Sonic to feel his pixelated presence.
"Ah, I see you got a baseball bat in your hands...which has got me thinking. Perhaps you can steal off my friend Tails for me, as an act of retribution? Not actually steal the dude, but hit him with that bat and making him pay. You see, Tails was in a secret relationship, and he withheld any information about said relationship from me, and that in turn made me feel hurt. So I want you to put the hurt on him, as a favor for me!"
Sting still didn't say anything, as he kept looking at Sonic. In his head he was probably thinking, "Why does this hedgehog want me to beat up his best friend for, what is it that I might gain from doing this?" Sting's face was really open for interpretation.
"...I'll just take your silence as a resounding yes!" exclaimed Sonic, after waiting for an infinity for Sting's answer.
Leia was busy tending to Lloyd in the fitness center, the swordsman still unconscious. Fox and Falco were worried for Lloyd, with Falco pacing back and forth. In actuality, they were worried that Lloyd, should he wake up, call out Fox and Falco for being responsible for his injury.
"Is Lloyd going to be okay, is he ever gonna wake up?" Fox asked Leia, who was applying some strong smelling salts to Lloyd. Had different kinds of smelling salts held up at the swordsman's nose, just for good measure.
"I'm doing everything I can Fox, quit being such a worrywart!" frowned Leia, holding the smelling salts even closer to Lloyd's nostrils. A few seconds later, Lloyd finally woke up, sitting up in his patient bed, and scratched his head...
...before picking his nose and smiling as he did so. Something was clearly off here.
"Hi Fox and Falco, hi Leia, are we playing doctor?" Lloyd excitably asked the pilots and the nurse. The old Lloyd was restored, it seemed like...
Pit: Yes, yes...it is now time for Brother Kuro...to be rendered OBSOLETE! And once Brother Kuro is rendered obsolete, he shall be a part of my broken brilliance, and fight at my side in the Great War! But a task so great cannot be done alone...
Dark Pit, who was fast asleep, woke up, and found himself inside a room, tied to a chair. The doppelganger, who wished to question why he was even asleep in the first place, analyzed the room, and saw Viridi, sitting at a piano and playing the instrument well. Viridi expertly playing a piano was quite a sight to behold for Dark Pit.
"I see that you're finally awake, Brother Kuro," Viridi said to Dark Pit, the goddess of nature apparently a part of Pit's shenanigans. "Pit has been waiting for your awakening - Senor Kirby had knocked you out unconscious with chloroform, since you kept complaining!"
"Viridi, are you seriously following up Pit and his nonsense?" questioned Dark Pit, before looking out a window and seeing a pink puffball tending to the front yard, singing "Obsolete!" over and over again. "And why the heck is Kirby is raking the front yard, and singing at the same time?!"
"That's Senor Kirby to you, and he's raking the front yard because that's his duty. Now, how about you enjoy a piano solo...from King Charles!" Dark Pit furrowed his brow, before looking down and seeing Luigi's son Charles, seated at a baby piano, playing the same tune Viridi was playing, albeit horribly due to his age. Sweet, adorable Charles was playing the piano, and Luigi nor Daisy weren't even around to witness it.
"Obsolete, obsolete, obsolete, obsolete..." sang Pit, entering the room, speaking in the same accent as before. "Viridi, your mastery of the 88 Keys of Aubrey is absolutely INTOXICATING! Your piano solo was intoxicating too, King Charles, and surely Brother Kuro will think the same way!"
"Can someone please tell me what's going on...?" questioned Dark Pit, losing his patience, as Pit approached him. The devious smile on the angel's face suggested that he wish to do some devious things to Brother Kuro, a la Dark Pit.
"Allow me to inform you, Brother Kuro...I have received a premonition, from the Seven Deities, who all agree that you must be rendered obsolete! Your soul and personality shall perish, and you shall become broken, like myself, and fight with me in the Great War!"
"Seriously dude, I think you've been smoking some really awesome crack as of late. And you're starting to bug me out. Can you just make me 'obsolete' or whatever so I can be free?" Dark Pit had some catching up to do with Flora.
"You will be free, Brother Kuro...you will be obsolete once we commence...the Final Deletion! Senor Kirby shall prepare the battlefield, and there you will meet your dutiful end! Your soul shall belong...to ME!"
Pit cackled evilly, laughing like a maniac, as the pixelated Hardy Boyz watched, perplexed. Pit was essentially copying their wrestling gimmick, and somehow dragged his friends Viridi and Kirby into it. That really bugged the two brothers.
"Don't know about you, but that kid is doing it all wrong," Jeff told Matt, pointing at Pit who was still manically laughing. Almost sounded like the angel really smoking some awesome crack! "We oughta teach him a lesson!"
"Agreed, I find his mannerisms to be somewhat offensive - no way we can let this continue any longer," said Matt, nodding his head, before he and Jeff looked behind him and saw Link, who was minding his business. The Hylian looked at the Hardy Boyz, and immediately froze in place.
"Um...can I help you guys?" Link asked the Hardy Boyz, who glanced at one another with a smile - indicating that they planned on using Link in some fashion to stop Pit's "broken brilliance".
Back at Mario's home, Olimar was still trapped inside the Piranha Plant, and Mario and company were doing everything they could to rescue the astronaut. They tried using sharp objects, like knives, to cut the Piranha Plant open, but its green skin was simply too tough.
Alph: Olimar is gonna hate me once he's freed from that Piranha Plant, he'll hate me because I accidentally placed his life in danger...Louie and Charlie and everyone else at Hocotate Freight will hate me too...Brittney? Pfft, I don't care what she thinks...
"Hey Mario, Aerith said you might need some fertilizer for the flowers Olimar and Alph brought, so she gave me some fertilizer for you and Peach to use," said Cloud as he barged inside Mario's home with bags of fertilizer barging through the front door without ringing the doorbell, because the swordsman simply wasn't about that life. Cloud would stop in place and drop the fertilizer onto the floor when he took notice of the giant Piranha Plant in the living room. "...uh, do I even need to ask what's going on here?"
"Alph unknowingly brought a flower pot-a with a large Piranha Plant inside-a to the house, and now said Pirahna Plant ate-a poor Olimar alive," Mario explained to Cloud, who felt like the plumber was leaving out some details. Story sounded weirder than usual to the swordsman. "No matter what-a we do, we can't get-a Olimar out..."
"Well, it's a good thing I brought my Buster Sword, perhaps my blade can do the trick," Cloud donned his Buster Sword, and went to slice open the Piranha Plant...who caught the swordsman in midair and ate him alive. Mario and company gasped, as the only thing left of Cloud was his Buster Sword, the blade falling to the floor. "Yeah, I kinda knew that would happen..." Cloud mumbled from inside the Piranha Plant, where he would find a friend...
"Yay, I'm no longer lonely, thanks for dropping in Cloud!" Olimar thanked the swordsman, who could be heard sighing loudly. "Seeing all this green is starting to make me go crazy, but with you here, I won't feel so..."
"Shut up and don't talk to me, and I'll spare your livelihood, capiche?" On that remark, Olimar opted to remain silent. Just then, a pixelated wrestler kicked the already open front door wide open, making his presence known to Mario and company. This pixelated wrestler was Sami Zayn - the quirky and neurotic good guy who always had a smile on his face.
"Ahoy, my good friends, Sami Zayn's the name, I'm a WWE superstar and honestly, I have no clue why I'm even here..." Zayn would introduce himself to Mario and company, looking like he was running out of breath. "Five other wrestlers and I were told about some 'Mini Summerslam' that we're supposed to be a part of, sounds like malarkey anyways. I mean, one minute I was in the WWE ring, the next I found myself in some room with the other wrestlers, with a giant TV and movies and stuff. Reason why I came here is because I saw this spiky-haired blonde fellow carrying some bags of fertilizer, and since I wanted to help out, I followed him from the large mansion to this destination, and now I see the fertilizer...but not the blonde guy." Yes, Zayn was very talkative, as you just saw right now.
"Nice meeting you, Mr. Zayn, welcome to our home," Peach smiled at the pixelated wrestler. "Right now we can't use the fertilizer, for there's a large Piranha Plant in our living room, and we're trying to dispose of it." Zayn looked at the Piranha Plant, stroking his chin in thought.
"Yes, this Piranha Plant indeed is large, and it's quite a fearsome foe too...its sharp teeth might be a boding problem, and it will snap at anyone, like a viper, like Randy Orton, out of nowhere! I would wear it down with a Helluva Kick, but that would be risky...why don't we burn it down with fire?" Mario was fully against Zayn's idea, he couldn't afford to have his house burned down.
"Wouldn't that be riskier than-a your 'Helluva Kick'?" asked Mario, unsure if he pronounced Zayn's finisher move correctly. But that didn't matter right now.
"You're right, my mustached friend, don't know what I was thinking...oh, I know, we could light a match and throw it inside the Piranha Plant! Then the plant wheezes and coughs, with smoke coming out of its mouth, and then it will whither away and die! Yeah, sounds like a great plan, now just to be on the safe side, there isn't anyone inside the plant, correct?" Mario and company exchanged nervous looks with one another, for Cloud and Olimar were still trapped inside the Piranha Plant. "Hmm, judging by the looks on your faces, a lit match might not be our best option for slaying this botanic beast..."
Sonic: Enjoy your stupid romance with Coco as long as you can, Tails, because this guy... *points behind him at Sting, idly standing* ...this guy, will make you pay dearly! Ain't that right, Sting?
Sting: *says nothing*
Sonic: Uh oh Tails, Sting just sent you a death threat, without even opening his mouth...you better watch out!
Tails and Coco were in the dining room, eating some malasadas, while Palutena was in the kitchen cooking another batch of the Hawaiian treats.
"Shoot, ran out of sugar..." frowned Palutena, when she noticed that there was no more sugar in the sugar canister. Nobody would enjoy unsweetened malasadas. "Should be more in the pantry!" The goddess of light departed from the kitchen, where Sonic and Sting arrived, staring down Tails and Coco.
"You see those no gooder Tails over there, Sting?" Sonic asked the pixelated wrestler, who nodded his head. "He thinks he can carry on with his romance with Coco, without MY prior knowledge! The nerve of Tails...I think we should teach Tails a lesson, a painful lesson that he won't forget! So go over there, and whack him with your baseball bat, as many times you want!"
So with Sonic stepping to the side, Sting went through the kitchen, and arrived at the dining room, encountering Tails and Coco. The pixelated wrestler got his bat ready, getting into a striking stance.
"Still can't believe Sonic thought the two of us were in love," chuckled Tails, as Sting was readying himself with his bat. "Even if we were in love, I wouldn't tell Sonic anyways, and for a variety of reasons. Sonic would tease me all day about being in love, about how I was in love with a bandicoot - he made fun of me because people shipped Cream and I together. Also, Sonic wouldn't handle a best friend of his in a relationship - he'd think I would be one-upping on him and stealing his shine!" Suddenly Sting drew his bat away, slowly...
"But I don't understand, Knuckles has a girlfriend and Sonic seems fine with it," stated Coco, as Sting's bat was no longer in the vicinity of Tails's head. "Does Sonic feel slanted against Knuckles, in a way?"
"More or less - he believes Rouge is better-looking than Amy, because of her sex appeal and all. Wouldn't say Sonic is insecure - I'd say he's more on the bitter side, and that could come with his sense of arrogance. Comes with being the fastest thing alive, I suppose..."
"Perhaps, though Sonic shouldn't be bitter. It's not like he's some single, lonely guy with nobody to love. He should be content with what he has. Someone should teach that to him!"
And that's what Sting decided to do, as he returned to the kitchen, seeing Sonic. The hedgehog was noodling on his cellphone when he saw Sting walking towards him, and was expecting great news.
"Did you get the job done, did you make Tails suffer?" Sonic asked Sting, who lifted up his baseball bat with might. That was the last image Sonic had seen before everything went dark...
Palutena: Frankly the pantry is nowhere close to the kitchen...it's actually near the living room, apparently. The pantry used to be a smoking room, which was later revamped because really Snake was the only person that used the room...now that I think of it, I've hardly seen Snake at all for the past couple of weeks. He didn't die, did he? Mario must've found Snake's body and buried him somewhere, without telling anyone. I'll ask him about it later today.
Palutena was whistling to herself as she walked back to the kitchen, with a bag of sugar, and on her way there, she encountered Sting, who was dragging Sonic across the floor. The hedgehog was unconscious, and the sight of the blue blur was enough to make Palutena stop in her tracks.
"You can thank me later, at another given time," Sting said to Palutena, speaking for the first time, as he dragged Sonic; Palutena nonchalantly shrugged as she resumed her whistling, heading to the kitchen.
Master Hand arrived at the dancing room, to see if the pixelated wrestlers were making preparations for the "Mini Summerslam" later today, but there was one problem...none of the wrestlers were present! Instead, Master Hand saw Knuckles and Crash in the wresting ring, having some match together, with Wolf as the referee. As Crash went to pin Knuckles, Master Hand seethed.
"One, two, THREE!" shouted Wolf, doing the three-count, before grabbing a bell and ringing it loudly. "The winner of the match...Crash Bandicoot!" Crash got up, and celebrated, as Wolf raised the bandicoot's arm in victory. The celebration would end prematurely when Master Hand approached Crash and company, still seething.
"Why are you blokes in the wrestling ring?!" Master Hand snapped, as a frightened Crash retreated to the ring apron to avoid the giant hand's fury. "This ring is for the six competitors only, and Wolf has jurisdiction being in this ring because of his referring duties!"
"The six wrestlers all thought your wrestling show was stupid and so they all went rogue and did their own thing," explained Knuckles, as Master Hand groaned. He should have expected the wrestlers' refusal. "That's what Touma and Itsuki told me a few minutes ago."
"They better be glad I can't outright punish them, though that would be lovely..." Master Hand went to the dancing room door, so he could call out someone to gather up the wrestlers. "Jakob, bring your scrawny butt over to the dancing room, I need you to do me a favor!" Master Hand's voice boomed, and right on time, Jakob arrived.
"Good thing I was around the corner when you called," the butler remarked, fixing his magnificent ponytail. Don't even try to deny it. "What appears to be the issue?"
"The six wrestlers I wanted for my 'Mini Summerslam' have gone rouge and refused to partake in my wrestling show, and now I don't even know where they might be. I can't force...erm, invite the residents to the show if the performers are absent! So I want you to find the wrestlers for me. They're all pixelated, since they came from a device in the movie room, so if you see any pixelated guy..."
"...then they're a pixelated wrestler that I must bring to this room. Got it." Jakob would leave the premises, ready to embark on his mission.
"We've scoured every inch of this mansion, and we can't find any missing clothes..." said Fandango, who exited from the ball pit room, wearing a Mario disguise. All in the name of going undercover. "Maybe, we're not good cops after all..."
"No, Fandango, we're not good cops...we're great cops," amended Breeze, who also exited the room...wearing a Princess Peach disguise. Complete with the pink dress, crown, gloves, and earrings! Fandango and Breeze turned and saw Bowser, staring at the cops with his mouth agape, holding a cup of fruit punch in his hand as he dropped said cup to the floor in shock.
"I'm so very confused right now..." the Koopa King said as he awkwardly walked away, shaking his head. Proto Man walked by, and saw Breezango in their disguises, also shaking his head.
"Still not the weirdest thing I've seen at this mansion," the silent edgelord remarked, as Fandango and Breeze looked at one another. Perhaps they should have selected different disguises?
Breeze: I'm sorry, but if Dango and I dressed up as Nintendo's power couple isn't the weirdest sight to behold at this mansion...then this place is an absolute freakshow.
Shulk and Dunban approached Breezango, still dressed up as Sheik and Toad, respectively. Questions were racing through his head when he saw the tag team duo in their undercover attire.
"Any sign of the missing clothes?" Shulk asked Fandango and Breeze, who both shook their heads. "Drat, where could they be? Our clothes were present last night - could a thief sneaked into our room during the middle of the night and stole our clothes and sold them at a pawn shop?" Seemed likely, yet a little improbable.
"Shulk, Dunban, why are you two dressed as Sheik and Toad?" Jakob showed up, questioning the Homs; that's when Shulk told the butler about the clothes having gone missing. "Missing clothes, you say? Think I might know where your clothes are..."
So Jakob would lead Shulk and Dunban to Duck Hunt Dog's room (stupid mutt didn't even need a room), with Breezango following them. It was at this room that Jakob showed Shulk and Dunban their clothes - inside Duck Hunt Dog's doghouse. A very large doghouse.
"Duck Hunt Dog must have went to your bedroom and rummaged through your closet, and brought your clothes to his room," explained Jakob, as Shulk and Dunban quickly retrieved their clothes. "Seen him carrying Zelda's wedding dress with his mouth one day. I'd advise locking your bedroom door next time around. As for you two..." Jakob turned to face Breezango, who were ready to give the butler a fashion ticket. "I do believe the case is now closed...follow me. We have some searching to do."
"Sounds to me like another crime...is afoot..." remarked Fandango, donning his sunglasses, as Jakob rolled his eyes.
Pit was "preparing the battlefield" or whatever outside for Pit, positioning ladders and fireworks and whatnot. Watching from conspicuously from afar was the Hardy Boyz, Matt and Jeff, and Link.
"Okay, this kid is doing it all wrong - he couldn't even wait until it was dark outside for the Final Deletion!" frowned Matt; Link wished to know what this "Final Deletion" was, but it would be better if he googled it instead. "Before the kid DELETES this 'Brother Kuro', we must DELETE the unoriginal impersonator ourselves!"
"And that's where you come along," Jeff said to Link, nudging the Hylian on the shoulder. "You must know a lot of magic voodoo, so perhaps your magic could stop this madness...amirite?"
"Well, you came to the right guy..." smiled Link, rubbing his hands together. His plan to stop Pit did involve magic...and a somewhat faithful companion. "Here's what I got in mind, might require some improv..."
Fox and Falco were in Little Mac's room with Little Mac, the YouTube contest officially over (and Pit and Kirby didn't even get to enter...like they had any chance). The participants polled up all the views and the subscriptions, and after the final tally was conducted...
"Hahaha, Star Fox pilots have won the contest!" announced Falco, who was now gloating in the face of a salty Little Mac. "Told you singing Friday would kill your channel!" "Friday", by Rebecca Black? Yeah, that was a channel killer right there...
Fox: Yup, Falco and I won the YouTube contest...and now we won...we won...well, we just won. Nothing special, really. Nothing worth texting Krystal about and bragging on social media. *pauses, then takes out cellphone and types quickly*
Fox and Falco left Little Mac's room, soaking in their victory, when they came across Lloyd in the hallway. The swordsman was back to his normal, stupid idiot self, and the pilots, realizing this, tried to make a run for it.
"Fox, Falco, I got a bone to pick with you!" Lloyd angrily told the pilots, stopping them in place. Was Lloyd about to call Fox and Falco out for injuring him? "I know what you two did earlier, and it was flat-out disgusting..."
"Look Lloyd, we're sorry for pulling your pants and making you fall and knock your head and get knocked out and stuff," apologized Fox, being as apologetic as possible. "We just did it for our YouTube channel, and we shouldn't have..."
"Pulling my pants down? What are you talking about?! I was just disgusted with how you were attempting to prank Leia, by messing with the medical monitor! Leia told me all the details. Do you have any respect for medical equipment?!"
Lloyd kept running his mouth at Fox and Falco, disparaging them for their actions, when Sting walked by, now carrying Sonic over his shoulder. Falco saw the pixelated wrestler, and also saw the bat in his hand.
"Let me borrow this for a quick second, fam..." the avian pilot said to Sting, as he took his baseball bat and whacked Lloyd on the head with it, knocking him out as he fell to the floor. "That should bring back genius Lloyd soon," said Falco, as he returned the bat to Sting. Jakob would show up later,with Breezango behind him with their miniature squirt guns. Who needs regular guns anyways?
"Another pixelated being spotted...Fox, Falco, take Sonic and take him to Leia ASAP, same goes for Lloyd," ordered Jakob; Falco grabbed Sonic from Sting, and Fox picked up Lloyd off the floor, as the pilots took the two to the fitness center. "Where could the other wrestlers be, I wonder?"
"We saw Sami Zayn follow this guy with fertilizer, so he might be outside growing plants and stuff," replied Breeze. Time for Jakob to take a look-see...
Speaking of plants, Mario and company were still dealing with the large Piranha Plant, with pixelated wrestler Sami Zayn at their side. Since Mario didn't wish to use fire in his own home, other measures were used...
"Now, Poochy, go-a for the head!" ordered Mario, Poochy in attack mode, as he leaped at the Piranha Plant...only to be eaten by the carnivorous being. The sound of Poochy barking was heard from inside the plant, followed by Cloud's sighing.
"Told you using your pet dog was a bad idea..." Zayn said to Mario, shaking his head in disapproval as Mario was now receiving a questionable look from Peach, having sacrificed Poochy for the greater good. "We could have used fire instead, but you didn't want to burn your precious house down...I'm sure you could build another house from scratch."
Jakob, who did not see Zayn outside, opted to speak with Mario and ask about the wrestler's whereabouts. And would you know it, Jakob stepped inside the plumber's home, and saw Zayn dealing with the Piranha Plant, without trying to get eaten. He also saw the Buster Sword lying on the floor, untouched.
"Surprised no one bothered to use this blade," the butler said, grabbing the Buster Sword and using it to slash the Piranha Plant, while it was distracted. Zayn backed away, as Mario and company watched Jakob slay the Piranha Plant, slashing the stem relentlessly before slashing off its head. The head of the Piranha Plant fell to the floor with a thud, as Jakob, wanting to see if the plant ate any victims, tore down the stem to rescue Cloud, Olimar, and Poochy.
Jakob: Wouldn't say that I'm an expert swordsman, but I did look like an expert wielding Cloud's massive sword. Sometimes you have to be an expert in every little thing that you do, even when you're not confident. A lesson Flora should be learning...
"Uh, thanks for saving us Jakob, Mario and the others were honestly no help whatsoever," Cloud thanked Jakob, the first face he saw after being free. "I should be returning to the mansion, before another Piranha Plant eats me..."
"You're very much welcome, Cloud- I really put your sword to good use," replied Jakob, handing the swordsman his Buster Sword. Cloud nodded as he left Mario's home, before Jakob gave his attention to Zayn. "I want you to meet me outside, with your wrestling friends, now..."
Zayn would join Sting, Fandango, and Breeze outside with Jakob, the butler having called Isabelle outside for a roll call. Jakob would later learn that his work was not yet done...
"We're still missing the Hardy Boyz, Matt and Jeff Hardy," said Isabelle, reading off the wrestling program on her clipboard. "I spoke with Zelda earlier today, and she said she saw Link hanging out with some pixelated men. So that could be..."
"THE FINAL DELETION HAS FINALLY ARRIVED, PREPARE TO BE DELETED, BROTHER KURO!" Pit's voice was heard from the backyard. Something about Pit's outburst and strange accent was enough for Isabelle and company to question the angel's sanity.
"The four of you stay where you are - Isabelle and I shall investigate what's taking place in the backyard," Jakob instructed the four wrestlers, as he and Isabelle ran to the backyard. The four wrestlers were now left alone, as Fandango saw a vehicle decked in Seattle Seahawks gear zoom by on the road.
"This whole time, we've been in the city of Seattle...the Rainy Apple," remarked the fashion cop, almost soulfully with his voice low. "Rainy Apple" kinda had a little ring to it...
Jakob and Isabelle arrived at the backyard, and were shocked by what they were witnessing - Pit having the upper hand on Dark Pit, flying away from the angel who was firing fireworks at the doppelganger from a rocket launcher.
"Stay still and take your beating, Brother Kuro, we haven't even gotten to the ladders yet!" cackled Pit, with a sociopathic look on his face. He was really enjoying this, in case you couldn't tell. "Face your deletion like the man you are!"
"You practically dragged me outside for this crap, this isn't even funny!" Dark Pit frowned at Pit, effortlessly dodging a firework fired at him. "When you started speaking with that funny accent, I knew the conclusion of your madness would be downright insane!"
"We're going to get in so much trouble for this..." said Jakob as he and Isabelle watched the madness persist, guesstimating in his head how long it would take for the police to arrive and arrest Pit for his violent ways.
Pit kept firing fireworks at Dark Pit, but the angel and the doppelganger would stop what they were doing, when a small being descended from the sky, wearing some kind of weird mask. This being was actually Midna, though neither of the Pits knew this because of how big the mask was.
"The Seven Deities, have summoned me to this very destination, the Mansion of Smash!" exclaimed Matt, who arrived at the scene with his arms majestically in the air. He was speaking in a funny accent, too - was he "broken"? "While I may be in pixelated form, it was thanks to this Seven Deity in my presence that has allowed me to deliver this message, this premonition...to the imposter before me!" Matt pointed at Pit, who was quickly on the defensive.
"I do believe you're the real imposter, you...you...being of pixelation!" Pit pointed back at Matt, seemingly less "broken" than before. Dark Pit, wanting to fly away, wished to stick around and see how the ordeal would end.
"Member of the Seven Deities, whom I cannot named...what must be done to this imposter?" Matt asked Midna, who chanted some made-up language that Matt was able to translate. "Yes, your advice is so valuable, it cannot be measured! I agree that we must DELETE the imposter from existence, and anyone else associated with him! The other Deities approve your advice, that I'm sure of!"
"Hold-a the phone, Pit is-a innocent, let me explain! It's not what-a you think..."
Climbing down from a tree, holding a camera and a controller, was Luigi, who grabbed the attention of everyone outside. You might think the plumber was hiding from someone, but that wouldn't be the case...
"This whole thing-a was staged, it was all part-a of some You-a Tube challenge Pit and Kirby wished-a to be a part of, which I'm-a sure is over already," explained Luigi; Pit tried to dissuade the plumber from speaking anymore, but Luigi kept on talking. "Pit thought that recreating some-a wrestling gimmick might bring in viewership and-a subscriptions to his YouTube channel, and he dragged-a poor Dark Pit into his shenanigans, as well as-a enticing Viridi to join. He even took my son-a for crying out loud!"
Luigi: Pit refused-a to give back Charles unless-a I filmed him being "broken"...he'll be "broken" in a more painful way soon!
"I pretty much had-a to film Pit this whole-a time, just to get my son-a back," continued Luigi, as Dark Pit lowered himself to the ground. "And I had to control-a some stupid drone as well, with this controller in-a my hand. Granted Viridi might be taking care-a of my son now, but my wife and I still-a want our boy back! So, to finish things-a off, I want you to spare-a Pit, and leave-a him be!"
"The plumber of green has spoken...he wishes for the imposter to not be DELETED, but to have his existence spared," announced Matt, like he was at a wrestling event addressing the crowd. "What does the member of the Seven Deities have to say about the matter?" Midna spoke more of the made-up language, as Matt nodded his head at every little thing she said. "You think the imposter should be spared too? Then the decision has been met! Imposter, you are free to go!"
Pit, having been exposed by Luigi, did nothing, as Luigi gave him the camera and the controller and went inside, to fetch his son. Pit was looking at his battlefield, mostly ripe with ladders, when Dark Pit ran by, hitting him on the shoulder.
"You're gonna get grounded!" the doppelganger, jovial again, chanted at Pit, as the angel, not wanting a punishment from Palutena, chased Dark Pit into the mansion, as Link and Jeff popped out from the shrubbery, joining Matt.
"Your plan worked out better than expected, glad we sought help from you," Matt said to Link, reverting back to his normal self. "If it weren't for you, that imposter kid would have kept copying our brokenness forever...and by no means would we allow it!"
"Matt Hardy, Jeff Hardy, pleasure to meet you both," Jakob approached the brothers, who turned around and saw the butler. "Jakob's the name - I'm a butler working under a being called Master Hand. Speaking of Master Hand, he would like to have a word with you..."
"Whaddaya mean, you don't want to do the Mini Summerslam, have you got any idea what you're missing out on?!" Master Hand boomed at the six pixelated wrestlers, who were gathered in the movie room. Evidently they all wished to return to where they came from.
"Look, Master Hand, we appreciate the offer, we really do...but nobody would want to see pixelated dudes fight, even for free!" explained Zayn, giving out some logic that evaded Master Hand throughout this episode. "While we enjoyed our time, we don't deserve to hang around any longer, and therefore, we request that you send us back to whatever thing that brought us here. Sorry that we couldn't be a part of our little wrestling show."
"Do you all agree to this request?" Master Hand asked the five other wrestlers, who all nodded their heads, leading Master Hand to sigh. "Fine then...maybe next year I could bring actual wrestlers to my Mini Summerslam, the real deal! Next year...but before anyone gets sent back - Fandango, Tyler Breeze, please take off those outfits! You're not going undercover anymore!"
So Fandango and Breeze, still dressed up as Mario and Peach, respectively, took out their oufits, as Jakob watched through the doorway. The butler turned and walked away, and during his trek, he caught Dark Pit, who was sitting in the hallway with Flora. The two were giggling and enjoying themselves, picking up from where they left off earlier in the episode, as Jakob continued to look as he walked away.
"My actions today surely must have caught the attention of Master Hand, the all-knowing one," Jakob said quietly, an evil smirk forming on his face. "Hopefully I proved my usefulness to him...before matters start to take shape..."
Jakob was looking for pawns, it seemed like, and he might've found some good ones in Dark Pit and Felicia...the latter being slightly more intriguing.
