Author's Note:
Another two-parter; this episode is a lot longer than I intended it to be, so I went ahead and broke it up into two parts. No harm done there. On to the guest reviews:
"Have the characters from the Ouendan and Elite Beat Agents games appeared yet? Are you gonna have the Infinity War chapter moved up? (Since the film is now due on April 27) will you include a nod or references to Outrun and After Burner? (Those are SEGA games) and finally, what are your thoughts on the recent Nintendo Direct?"
No characters from Ouendan and Elite Beat Agents have appeared yet. The Infinity War chapter will be moved up. I can do a reference to Outrun and After Burner (though I'm more familiar with the latter, thanks to that Sonic racing game). And I absouletly LOVED the Nintendo Direct. Having Crash and Undertale on the Switch is very interesting. (Guess that means I can include Undertale characters in this story now...) And I'm also pumped for the new Smash game - thought it would be released next year, to commemorate Smash's 20th anniversary, but I'll take it this year. On to Shadowkirbyfan:
"Could you also shadow Kirby? Really hope I'm not being a bother."
You're not being a bother, my friend. I can feature Shadow Kirby, if I can find him something to do. Now there were some reviews written for the last chapter that I did not show up until after the chapter was updated, so I'll get to them right away...
"could you make a roboenza virus strike the mansion like it did in mega man 10 but this time protoman is the only one affected and he goes crazy and beigns causing destructuion around seattle and mega man has once again to find a cure"
That would be a good idea for a chapter featured around Mega Man and Proto Man. Here's another guest review:
"if you could plz make pit take lessons with krirby and meta knight to become somewhat intelligent but something horribly goes wrong"
Similar to what I did with Corrin and his siblings in chapter 42? Sure thing, buddy. Last up for today is Mikael M Etienne:
"Can you do a chapter featuring Viridi and Pit?"
I believe I said I was going to do more Pit-Viridi stuff, so I'll write a chapter centralized around the two after this two-parter is over. But it won't be TOO centralized around Pit and Viridi, mind you...I'll try and sneak some subplots in here and there.
Episode 117: Farewell Part 1
Lara has been dying to return to her home country of Britain for weeks now, to be back in her hometown of London so she could return to her quest of avenging her best friend, Samantha Nishimura. The tomb raider was bustling to come back home after seeing the mansion's teleportation device for the first time, and had her eyes set on returning to London via the teleportation device a week after the visit to Pyeongchang.
However, the teleportation device was destroyed a night before Lara could return, coincidentally. Mega Man and his robot friends were working tirelessly to repair the device and restore it back to full strength.
Just when it seemed like all hope was lost for Lara, Professor Layton and Luke would approach the tomb raider sometime before the wedding reception at Berkut and Rinea's wedding, revealing to her a plane ticket to London. The plane was supposed to take flight on the 16th of March, which was today, and it was very merry news to the ears of Lara, who thanked Layton and Luke for their generosity. She did not know how the British detectives were able to purchase the ticket in the first place, but she was grateful regardless.
With a return flight to London on her mind, Lara sat on the roof of Mario's home, looking out ahead and reflecting upon her stay in Seattle. She had been involved in many things in this city - a Dr. Eggman plot, Luigi's Mexican fiesta, a game of tag, and even a date with Bowser - a date that went along better than expected. Until Bowser was later exposed by Mario, that was. Lara would reflect on those memories and then some, as the Seattle sun basked on her face.
"Last day in Seattle...it's been a fun ride, staying with Mario and Peach," Lara said to herself, slightly aware that the documentary crew was around listening to her every word. "And Poochy as well, although I didn't appreciate him drooling all over my pants...but he was good company, anyways. Good thing I packed up my things ahead of time, saved me a lot of trouble."
"Miss Croft, is that-a you?" a familiar voiced called out to the tomb raider, who turned around and saw Mario, along with Cappy. The plumber was holding two bottles of Coca-Cola in his hands - one for himself, and one for Lara. Poor Cappy was left out of the equation. "Peach told me that you were-a up here. Brought you some-a thing to drink, if you don't-a mind."
"Thank you Mario, I really appreciate it," thanked Lara, as Mario came over to Lara and sat with her, on the edge of the roof. Lara would then accept her bottle of Coke from Mario, opened it, and took a sip...before spitting out the contents immediately. "This soda tastes horrible, Mario...you sure this is Coca-Cola?"
"I entrusted Cappy to retrieve-a the bottles from the mansion..." Mario turned towards Cappy and frowned at the talking hat, making him shiver. "What do you have-a to say for your-a self, Cappy?"
"I...might have...borrowed some toilet water and used that as a substitute for the soda..." confessed Cappy, as Mario disgustingly threw his bottle of "Coke" at the ground, while Lara cough and gagged so she could get the horrid taste out of her mouth. "Guys I can explain, all the Coca-Cola was gone so I had to resort to drastic measures! Not my fault the residents are greedy bums!"
Cappy: The toilet water I had found looked like the perfect color for Coca-Cola...I just needed Cilan to "ferment" it a little, to make it look passable.
"First the Pyeongchang tour-a guides, and now this..." Mario shook his head, as Cappy looked down at the ground. "...quite-a the reputation you're building there, my-a friend." Just then, another person would join Mario and Lara on the roof...Pit, who was accompanied by Kirby. Not exactly the kind of duo Lara wished to be with on top of a house roof. Kirby is redeemable, but Pit on the other hand...
"Lara, how can you possibly leave for Britain without even telling us goodbye?" a rather disgusted Pit asked the tomb raider, who looked at Mario and Cappy in confusion. "You're practically my most favorite tomb raider ever! Now give me a hug!" Pit would run up to Lara and give her a hug, nearly tackling Lara off of the roof of Mario's home. Pit could've very well seriously injured Lara, and prevent her from returning to London...that alone would be more than enough to garner ire from the tomb raider.
"Get off of me Pit, I'm not leaving until later..." said Lara, as she pushed the angel away from her. Kirby remained where he was, just chilling. You've got to wonder what went on in the pink puffball's mind whenever Pit was being...Pit. "I just wanted to have some alone time by myself, that's all. Though Mario and Cappy had to ruin it for me."
"To be fair, it was Peach's fault - she was the one who told Mario about your whereabouts," clarified Cappy, as Mario glared at the talking hat. Cappy sure knew how to dig himself into a deep hole, and just keep on digging until there was no end. "The blame should be solely placed on her shoulders..."
"Oh, so now you wanna snitch-a on my wife, huh?!" frowned Mario, acting like he was ready to challenge Cappy to a no holds barred fight. Would be the most one-sided fight known to man. "Well two can play that-a game! I know you were up-a at night, watching that...that...Tokyo Mew Mew show, with that girl-a with the pink hair that you find-a cute!" Cappy would give Mario a weird look, and Lara, Pit, and Kirby would do the same. "...okay, that's all-a on me, I'm the one who stays-a up at night and watch that show. But don't tell-a Peach, she can't find out about-a my crush on that Zoe chick..."
"You got a crush on an anime character, which is perfectly harmless in my opinion - for I have a similar crush as well," stated Pit; Viridi wouldn't take too kindly to Pit's confession. "I'm positive Peach wouldn't think that much of it, she'll probably give you a pass." Pit would turn to face the sun, before stretching out his arms and taking a seat on the roof. "So we're all sitting on the roof, enjoying the sun, huh...I would do this on the roof of the mansion, but I can't due to my fear of heights."
"How can you even be afraid of heights when you can..." Lara started, before sighing and shaking her head in bewilderment. The knowledge she gained while staying with Mario and Peach, adjacent to the mansion, told her that it was never a grand idea to hold certain conversations with Pit. "...just forget about it. I'll just have to take pleasure in knowing that my alone time has been ruined by you all, and I'll likely never get my time of solitude back before my planet flight."
"And you'll only have Peach to blame..." murmured Cappy, receiving another frown from Mario. Cappy just turned his face away, like that would solve anything.
Despite serving as the officiant for last week's wedding, Balthier's work at the mansion was not yet done. The sky pirate would return to the mansion once more, just to see how the newly-wedded Berkut and Rinea were handling their first week as a married couple...
"Berkut for the last time, you can't just leave the master bedroom there, it'll block our way to the closet," Rinea said to her husband, as the spouses were re-arranging things in their room. The two were now rooming together, and they had brought a master bed and other furniture to their room. They were now trying to figure out where the bed should be placed, while Balthier stood at the doorway and analyzed their work. "How are we going to reach the closet with the bed obstructing the path?"
"Pfft, that closet is useless anyways - we don't have fancy wardrobes or anything like that," remarked Berkut with his arms folded, apparently fine with where the bed was located. "I'm just glad that we don't have a master bathroom, for that would be even more useless than the closet itself." Rinea would look at Balthier with a half-hearted smile, a smile that literally screamed, "I can't believe my own husband right now...", and Balthier would give a smile of encouragement in return.
Balthier: Came back to the mansion to see how Berkut and Rinea were coming along so far as they finish up their first week as husband and wife. Some disagreements here and there, but that's expected of many marriages, it's nothing you can run away from. Each disagreement you have with your spouse is like a learning block you can use to propel your love forward!
Rinea: As much as I enjoy to finally sleep with Berkut, in the same bed as him...I do miss having Aerith as a roommate. We would always have our joyous conversations, with me telling Aerith about Berkut's insecurities (which he won't ever admit on camera) and Aerith telling me about Cloud's most embarrassing secrets - the kind of secrets Cloud would kill Aerith over, if he was brave enough to do it.
Berkut: Ah, yes, free at last, free from that annoying little pest Dr. Cortex...always yapping this and that about how he should've destroyed Crash Bandicoot to cement his status as a bona fide villain. It was bad enough that he wouldn't even let me use his ray gun to kill Alm, for Alm "didn't have fur, wasn't a failed experiment of a genius invention, and didn't kick his butt each and every time..." I could care less with Alm didn't have fur, or if he was some failed experiment, or if he didn't kick butt...although he did kick my butt a few times. I just want that man out of my life!
Balthier would continue to watch Berkut and Rinea move the master bed around the room, not stopping until they found the perfect spot. Out of the corner of his eye, the sky pirate would catch Donkey Kong walking by, carrying a large sack over his shoulders.
"Hello once again, Donkey Kong - what you got there in the bag?" Balthier spoke to the gorilla, stopping him in his tracks. "Got some goodies for your nephew Diddy? About to celebrate a birthday, I assume?"
"Nothing in the bag is for Diddy, and we're not going to celebrate a birthday today - but we are having a going away party for Lara Croft," answered Donkey Kong, as Balthier nodded his head knowingly. He never got the chance to speak with Lara in person, and now the sky pirate was having some regrets. "It was Master Hand's idea - he wanted me to go about the mansion and gather random stuffs, and put them in this sack. Not sure if the stuff's supposed to be for Lara, but I'm just trying to get on Master Hand's good side..."
"Everybody here is always desiring to be on Master Hand's good side...must be a really strong indicator of how truly intimidating he is. Can't say I expect much less from the very creator of the Smash universe. So who's planning this, 'going away party'?"
"Princess Peach, along with Zelda, Palutena, and Rosalina. They planned a party before, a Christmas party, and everything was going well until these two guys got into a fight and pretty much ruined the whole vibe. Only positive to come out of that fight was Link suplexing someone."
Nobody at the Smash Mansion was more saltier than Dark Pit, who had yet to fully recover from his breakup with Flora. Flora would call off her relationship with the doppelganger at the wedding reception, after citing that she couldn't be with him anymore. Dark Pit, obviously upset about this revelation, got up and stormed out of the ballroom, in disbelief that Flora could do such a thing like that to him.
While Dark Pit had that going on, he was also embroiled in a lousy investigation at the hands of Sonic, who believed the doppelganger was working with Berkut and Balthier to kill off Alm so Berkut could become ruler of Valentia. Sonic stated that he wouldn't stop until he exposed Dark Pit and company for the scheming trio that they were, and in turn prove that he wasn't crazy.
So when Sonic was chilling in the hallway, eating a chili dog, he would see Dark Pit enter the vending machine room, still reeling from his breakup with Flora. Sonic would follow Dark Pit closely into the room, before grabbing the doppelganger and pushing him against a wall.
"I know what you're up to, Dark Pit!" Sonic said to the doppelganger, before realizing that he was looking up at him. Pretty awkward to talk down to someone who was taller than you. "Whoops, hold on a second...gotta make sure we're at eye level. Don't move an inch." Sonic would find a stool lying on the floor, brought said stool over to Dark Pit, and stood on the stool, now looking directly at Dark Pit. "Ah, that's much better! Now where was I? Oh yeah..." Sonic would grab Dark Pit by the collar with both hands, and brought him up to his face, up in his grill. "I know what you're up to, Dark Pit, you can't hide your intentions forever!"
"Dude what's your problem, I've never done anything wrong!" confessed Dark Pit, wondering why Sonic was so angry with him. "Can't you just let an innocent guy like me brood over a romantic breakup in peace?"
"Haven't quite bounced back from Flora dumping you after the wedding, huh? We all know she dumped you because she found out about your plans to help Berkut and Balthier kill Alm. I saw you trying to take out Alm while the wedding was going on!"
"Me assassinating Alm was just a one-time thing, Berkut was the one who put me up it. I just wanted to make the man happy on his wedding day! Also, what makes you thing Balthier has anything to do with Berkut's bloodlust for killing Alm?"
"What, so you think Berkut only brought Balthier to the mansion just so he could be the officiant for his wedding? Get real, Dark Pit! I suggest that you give Berkut and Balthier the deuces and leave their evil scheme, unless you wanna get on my bad side! Trust me, you don't wanna get on my bad side! I've seen things, Dark Pit - I've seen horror films, clown sightings, and even that episode of The X-Files that was removed entirely from syndication! I can get scary if you want me to!"
"I don't want you to get scary, I just want you to leave me alone, please! Go away!" Sonic, seeing how Dark Pit was cowering - it was the first time the hedgehog had ever seen the doppelganger in such a state - would get off the stool and put it away, before making his exit from the vending machine room.
"I'll be watching you, Dark Pit..." Sonic said to the doppelganger, doing the eponymous hand sign as he left the premises. Dark Pit was left lying against the wall, feeling uncomfortable, as Link entered the room, having seen Sonic walk by and then seeing Dark Pit.
"...you okay, Dark Pit?" Link would ask the doppelganger out of curiosity and concern, but mostly concern. Dark Pit could only give a weak, inaudible reply.
Link: Did Dark Pit...just got bullied by Sonic just now? Wow, talking about drastically lowering your standards...
In the dining room planning things were Peach, Zelda, Rosalina, and Palutena. The four were planning Lara's going away party, under the orders of Master Hand, as they were figuring out what food items should and shouldn't be at this party.
And although it was supposed to be a four-woman planning committee, there were also some guests involved with the plans...
"I know, I know, how about we have pigs in a blanket at the party, what do you guys think?" Yuffie asked Peach and company, also joined by her fellow ninja pals Greninja and Asuka. The three ninjas had planned to do some fun ninja stuff together with Sheik, until Master Hand approached Zelda.
"Hmm, that's more accustomed to a New Year's party or a Super Bowl party than anything," replied Palutena, who was finding it hard to come up with any solid suggestions - especially since Master Hand announced the party on late notice. "Do we even have the materials necessary to do pigs in a blanket?"
"Okay then...what about some popcorn balls?" Another suggestion that was met with a lukewarm response, as Peach and company looked at one another, like they were finding out who would say no. "Or is that too 'themed' as well? Some of you ladies really need to step out of the box sometimes..."
"Making popcorn balls would be a little too...sticky, Yuffie," stated Rosalina; Yuffie scoffed, as the ninja thought otherwise. "Too much vegetable oil involved, and not to mention the corn syrup and marshmallows required in the recipe. It would never work..."
"What's-a going on in here, ladies?" asked Mario, as he and Lara joined Peach and company in the dining room. "Planning some-a thing big, I assume?" The ladies would tell Mario what the special ocassion was, but not with Lara standing in the plumber's presence.
"We're planning a going away party for Lara, before she returns to London," answered Asuka, as Peach, Palutena, Zelda, and Rosalina all groaned in frustration. "Oh, I wasn't supposed to say that? It was supposed to be some kind of surprise party? Whoops, my bad..."
Peach: Master Hand practically forced us to throw a party for Lara...not sure if Lara even wanted one, but Master Hand wished to have Lara leave on a high note.
Zelda: So, the two of us decided to gather with Palutena and Rosalina so we could do some last-minute planning. You could call us a dream team...
Greninja: Gre, gre, Greninja! *pops up next to Zelda, along with Yuffie and Asuka*
Yuffie: Hey Zelda, you aren't busy today, are ya? I just saw Rool sleeping upside down from a hammock hanging from a tree, and I figured that maybe we could mess with him while he's asleep. Hitting him like a pinata, if ya know what I mean...don't ask me how the hammock got up there.
Zelda: Yes, the dream team...and a few ninjas.
"Aw, a going away party just for me?" smiled Lara, placing her hand on her chest. The tomb raider couldn't remember the last time anyone threw a party for her. "Look, ladies, I really don't deserve a party of any kind - I want my departure to be a quiet one, without any pizzazz and whatnot. I don't need all the unnecessary attention."
"We're terribly sorry, Lara, but Master Hand kept stressing to us that we should throw you a party before you leave us," stated Peach, as Lara gave the princess an understanding look. When it came to having parties at the mansion, it was always serious business with Master Hand. "As much as he would stop planning, we've planned so much that stopping now wouldn't be...preferable, if you understand."
"Peach's right - we've already decided on what ice cream should be served at the party," said Zelda, who was writing down the list of party suggestions on a piece of paper, prepared to give said list to Master Hand when ready. "Cookies and cream will be the ice cream of choice. Once heard Mario proclaim that cookies and cream was your favorite."
"I never said-a such a thing, unless that was Cappy's doing," frowned Mario, becoming even more disgruntled with the talking hat now. "That-a snitch..." Did Mario not know that Cappy was listening to every word he was saying?
"Of course, you can choose a different ice cream flavor, Lara - it's your party, after all," Rosalina told the tomb raider, who was perfectly fine with whatever ice cream was available. She just wanted to the party to be over with, if it couldn't be cancelled.
"You know, not everyone-a likes cookies and-a cream...some people could even-a be allergic to it, for all-a we know." After saying this extremely untrue fact, Mario stroked his mustache, thinking of a different ice cream flavor, before snapping his fingers when the perfect one entered his head. "Let's-a go with vanilla! Sure, it might-a be the most basic flavor around, but everyone loves-a it! Or so I think..."
"Then vanilla ice cream it shall be..." confirmed Zelda, as she scratched off the cookies and cream off the suggestion list, and wrote 'vanilla' underneath. "Now what about the toppings?"
"I think we should-a have Lara decide that." Mario would turn to Lara, and everyone else would do the same. The pressure was now on Lara - it wasn't extreme pressure, or life-changing pressure, but it was still pressure nonetheless. Any kind of pressure is bad, no matter the intensity or the amount.
"Why not...go with gum drops, or even gummy bears?" suggested Lara, as Peach and her planning committee exchanged nods with one another. Clearly they were down with this suggestion.
"Not a bad choice - can't go wrong with gummy bears," replied Zelda, as she wrote down Lara's suggestion on her list. "I'm sure you'll change your tune about the party soon, Lara...just you wait and see!"
"Oh, Miss Lara!" Master Hand called out to the tomb raider, from afar. "A certain giant hand needs to speak with you!" What could Master Hand possibly want?
Master Hand: Lara's last day in Seattle...doesn't feel right. Doesn't feel like a legitimate farewell. I've yet to see anyone crying over the fact that Lara is returning to London, moved to tears that our favorite Brit will be leaving Seattle soon. That's why I had Peach and Zelda plan out a party for Lara, so once the party is over, she'll be like, "Wow, the Smash residents are such great people...it's like having Time Magazine's 100 Most Influential People in the World inside one mansion. I expect Lara to give a rousing speech to the residents before leaving the mansion in style, and I better not spot a single dry eye in the ballroom when it's all said and done...
"Here Lara, you can take my Nintendo DS, and all my games as well!" Bowser Jr. would hand the tomb raider his old handheld console, along with a case that included all his DS games. Lara, who was standing with Master Hand, would accept the gift from Bowser Jr, albeit reluctantly. "Granted the system is old and outdated, but it's a bundle of nostalgia regardless! And truthfully, I'm too young to experience nostalgia and know what it means, which is why I'm giving my old system and games to you."
"I'll make sure to play this DS in my spare time...if I can even find the room for spare time, that is," smiled Lara, as she patted Bowser Jr. on the head. The fact that Lara touched him was enough to make Bowser Jr. faint. "Thank you very much." Lara and Master Hand would go away, and Bowser Jr. would faint to the floor after the two left. "Why are you having me receive gifts from the residents, even though I hardly knew them well?"
"Because Lara, it's all about solidarity - doing nice things for others, despite how you feel!" replied Master Hand, who was carrying a sack - the very sack Donkey Kong was seen carrying around earlier. "When rich people donate their money to charity, do they know where the money is going to go, and who's going to receive it? No, absolutely not! But they do it anyways because it creates harmony between individual and stranger - it basically screams, 'I got your back, and you got my back as well'! It's all about being selfless and showing others that you care!"
"You talking about solidarity and doing nice things and showing others how you care...it just sounds so ironic coming out of your mouth, Master Hand." Master Hand would hand Lara the sack, as the tomb raider looked at it in confusion. "What is this for?"
"Oh, nothing - just a sack containing gifts that I want you to give to the others. Don't worry about what gift belongs to who - I've had Isabelle go through everything and write names on the gifts, so you'll know who you will give what. Hopefully Isabelle didn't write the names in permanent marker...ooh, look, there goes Jigglypuff, try giving her a gift!"
Master Hand pointed at Jigglypuff, the balloon Pokemon fast asleep in the middle of the hallway. Someone oughta draw some marker on her face, to give her a taste of her own medicine. Lara would walk over to Jigglypuff and kneel down at the balloon Pokemon's side, lightly tapping her on the head to wake her up.
"Sorry for waking you up, Jigglypuff, hope you didn't mind," Lara apologized to the balloon Pokemon, who stretched out her stubby arms and yawned. "Not sure if you knew this or not, what with you being a Pokemon and all...but today is my last day in Seattle. For that reason, I wanted to give you a gift, a little something for you to remember me by. Lemme get it out for ya..." Lara looked inside the sack, found something with Jigglypuff's name on it, and pulled it out...a small replica of the Space Needle. Lara gave a questionable look at Master Hand, who gave a thumbs up, before returning her attention to Jigglypuff. "Here you go, Jigglypuff - a replica of the Space Needle, the one in this very city!"
"Jigglypuff Jigglypuff!" squealed Jigglypuff - perfectly oblivious to the amount of irony behind her gift - as she hugged Lara. Lara, in no position to do anything else, would hug the balloon Pokemon in return, before standing back up.
"Just keep that replica as far away from your body as possible and you'll be fine," Lara would say to Jigglypuff, before she and Master Hand continued on their way. Eventually Lara would accidentally bump into Doc Louis, who was the last person you would want to encounter.
"Waited until your last day in Seattle to pick a fight with Jerome 'Doc' Louis, huh?" questioned Doc Louis, thinking Lara wanted to fight him, as he tore off his signature red jacket to reveal his cheetah-patterned shirt. Lara and Master Hand grew cautious. "Think that because you gonna leave soon, I won't hurt you as bad? Is that what it is?! Well since you're a lady, I'll go easy on ya! And because I'm such a generous guy, I'll let you deal the first blow! Ladies first - hit me with your best shot!"
"Doc Louis, I don't wish to fight you...I just want to give you a gift," said Lara, as she dug into the sack; Doc Louis, who had his dukes up, would lower his guard when Lara took out a giant chocolate bar. "I know how much you like chocolate, which is why I got you the biggest chocolate bar I could find..."
"Woah Nelly, that is one giant chocolate bar!" Doc Louis ran up to Lara and snatched the chocolate bar out of her hand, like he was a world-renowned archaeologist making perhaps the greatest known discovery in the history of mankind. "So dang fine, she should be my main chick forever and ever. All those small chocolate bars I've been eating, they'll forever be side chicks in my eyes! What should I name ya..."
Doc Louis walked away, already treating the giant chocolate bar like a sentimental being, as Lara shook her head and pressed forward, with Master Hand following after her.
In retrospect, Falco's stand-up gig at the reception of Berkut and Rinea's wedding fared much better than expected. Falco, who was comfortable with being the "funny man" after being requested of Balthier, suddenly had second doubts, and didn't know if he was up for the task.
But following a pep talk from Fox (that somehow worked), Falco managed to get over his nerves and deliver the comedic performance of a lifetime at the reception. Okay, it wasn't one that would be discussed as the greatest performances ever, but it made people laughed, and making people laugh was always the most important goal when it came to comedy. Falco, riding off the momentum he gained from his comedic performance, had one goal he wished to accomplish...
...ask out his crush, Katt Monroe.
Falco: How would I describe my crush on Katt, in one word? *thinks for a second* Ironic. My crush on Katt is downright ironic. As you know, cats tend to eat birds, and for that reason, I fear that Katt would eat me alive in a relationship. Dare I say it, she's more cocky than I am, so she already has an advantage over me in that regard. My relationship with Katt would be like dog-eat-dog - a competition where harm will be done in order to gain an upper hand. And it might be Katt who'll be doing all the harming...
To figure out his approach to Katt, Falco discussed with Fox and Itsuki in the Star Records room. Very fine choices, as Fox and Itsuki were in love themselves - Fox was still maintaining his relationship with Krystal, and Itsuki was doing the same with Tsubasa. Technically, a co-owner of a record company shouldn't be having an affair with one of the company's clients, but Itsuki didn't care. Star Records abide by their own rules anyways.
"I was thinking about maybe giving Katt a call, but that would honestly be too mainstream - and too easy, on top of that," Falco said to Fox and Itsuki, seated at a round table with Big Top nonchalantly eavesdropping on the three. "I also gave though to meeting up with Katt somewhere in town, but I don't know where or when or how..."
"Just give Katt a shout out online, like on one of her social media pages," suggested Itsuki, before receiving questionable glances from Fox and Falco. "Or is that too mainstream as well? I'm not an expert when it comes to approach, besides it was Tsubasa who approached me, not the other way around..."
"Bruh, I can't just post on Katt's social media pages, let alone follow her...it would essentially blow my cover. I have to be very conspicuous about my approach, make her think about something other than me asking her out."
"Wanting to meet with Katt somewhere in town doesn't sound conspicuous, if you ask me," remarked Big Top, as Falco and company glared at the talking hat. The way that Big Top was profusely smiling made his face somewhat punchable.
"Shut up Big Top, nobody cares about what you think," Fox said to the talking hat, before returning his attention to the conversation at hand. "What I would do is kidnap Katt - bring her to some undisclosed location and blindfold her, and then take the blindfold off and confess your love to her. She'll hate you forever, but it'll be worth it in the long run if you can establish the relationship, and make the hate go away.
"Using reverse ransom to achieve a romantic goal? How unspeakable, even from you Fox McCloud!" Fox got angry with Big Top, as he fired shots from his Blaster at the hat and sent him flying to the floor. That oughta shut him up momentarily.
"Doing a kidnapping thing like that would be too risky, and I don't think Katt would handle it well," stated Falco, offering his two cents on Fox's suggestions. "She would probably file a restraining order against me, thereby decreasing my chances at hooking up with her."
"It's never too late to reach out to her on social media..." cooed Big Top, his voice muffled as he was lying face-first on the floor. Falco took out his Blaster and fired a a shot at Big Top, stinking the hat and leaving behind a bun mark covered with soot. "I truly, honestly deserved that..."
"Our best option would be to bring Katt over to the mansion, and then you can ask her out that way," said Itsuki, before his phone sounded off. The young man took out his phone, and saw a text notification. "Gotta go, boys...Tsubasa wants me to meet up with her at food stand in the city. They're selling Kobe beef burgers, and for only two dollars each! Sounds too good to be true, almost sounds illegal even. I can't pass up on this opportunity!" Itsuki would leave the Star Records room, leaving Fox and Falco behind.
"You know, Balthier returned to the mansion...why don't you ask him for advice?" Fox asked Falco, who stroked his break at the thought of this idea. Balthier was a pretty savvy gentleman, and that savvy attitude should definitely come with some romantic perks that could be given to the others.
"Yeah, Balthier would be a great guy to consult for a situation like this..." replied Falco, having made up his mind. It was time to rely on Balthier, to see what he could do for Falco.
Lara was still giving her gifts to the residents, and the sack that contained the "gifts" was close to being empty, meaning that the tomb raider was close to being done with giving away gifts as a "token of her gratitude". That was what Master Hand wanted Lara to say to the residents anyway, even though Lara hardly ever got to spend any quality time with them. Speaking of Master Hand, he was following Lara around, ensuring that she was doing her job.
"And for you, Wario, I have a poster that I think is deserving to be hanged up in your room..." Lara said to fatso as she pulled out a poster from the sack; said poster had Wario riding on his Wario Bike, doing the two-finger salute, with Mona behind him. Just seeing the poster almost made Lara cringe. "So, what do you think of the poster?"
"There isn't any chance that you have a poster of me and...Lady Palutena, do you?" Wario quietly whispered to Lara, being very mindful of Master Hand. The giant hand wasn't paying attention anyways, for he was too busy witnessing Toon Link and Young Link trying to arrest a sock monkey lying on the floor. That poor sock monkey, it wasn't even doing anything. "Mona just isn't my type anymore..."
"Oh, you don't say?" Lara wasn't aware that Wario and Mona were constantly shipped together - after all, the poster was her first time seeing Wario and Mona together at all. "Are you telling me that you have the hots for Lady Palutena?"
"Yeah, I guess you could say that..." Wario grinned sheepishly, rubbing his arm. It has been a very long time since Wario made his crush on Palutena to someone other than Pit and Viridi. "But don't tell anyone about my crush on Palutena, okay?! Nobody is meant to know, for now anyways. Not sure if having a crush on Palutena is even worth it - I'm just a lousy human, and Palutena is a goddess of light. Not to mention that Palutena said that she can't date a human. So I'm stuck..."
"I'm sure she'll come around and change her idealogy soon, just to make you happy." Lara's kind words was enough to lift up Wario's spirits, as the fatso's smile went from sheepish to optimistic in a jiffy. No person had ever given Wario words of encouragement, and Lara was the first to make history.
"I suppose you're right - maybe I can do something that can change her attitude! Easier said than done, but I can't make it happen unless I try..."
"That's the spirit! Now will you please accept this poster? Master Hand will probably kill the both of us if you don't...you know how he is sometimes."
Wario would accept the poster from Lara, and Lara would continue down the hallway, with Master Hand following after her after the Links were done "arresting" the sock monkey. Along the way, Lara would encounter Corrin, the naive prince of Nohr.
"Hi Corrin - I know we never got to speak much with each other (same could be said for anyone else in this mansion), but I heard that you were into science fiction," Lara said to the prince, who was brimming with anticipation about what the tomb raider was going to give to him. "Which is why I have something that could quench your love for the genre..." Lara honestly had no idea what this something was, but she pulled it out anyways, and it was a Darth Vader action figure, but with a familiar bat logo on the chest. At least the black cape was still there.
"A Darth Vader action figure, just for me?!" squealed Corrin, as he yanked the figure out of the hands of Lara, who was looking at the action figure all dumbfounded. "It even comes with a belt, for storing all sorts of gadgets! Must be an extremely rare action figure! All the Star Wars collectors must be furious right now!" Corrin would proceed to hug the knockoff action figure, like it was his one true love, while Lara stared at Master Hand inquisitively.
Master Hand: *laughs hysterically* I played Corrin like a fool...I had Lara give that naive boy a Darth Vader action figure, and that action figure was actually a Batman figure but with the Vader helmet! Corrin didn't even notice a single thing! *laughs harder* Seriously, I could take a Scarlet Witch action figure, paint her attire white and give it to Corrin, and that kid would be all like, "Princess Leia?!"
With Lara's going away party but a few hours away, Mario headed to the ballroom to see if there was any decorating done. The plumber would see the mansion's party planner hanging up a banner while standing on a ladder, with the banner reading in capital letters "Goodbye Lara".
"Hopefully we can have this party over with before Lara's plane arrives," Pac-Man said to himself, as he was hanging up the banner. Cappy would appear off of Mario's head, and float over to the ladder Pac-Man was standing on.
"Need some help up there?" Cappy would ask Pac-Man, getting a bit too close to the ladder. The talking hat would come in contact with the ladder and cause it to topple over. Pac-Man would lose his balance as the ladder came falling to the floor, but the eater of ghosts would hang on to the banner for dear life, refusing to let go. "Whoops, sorry about that!"
"Just look-a at you Cappy - first you have-a to snitch, and now you almost-a killed Pac-Man!" Mario scolded the talking hat, who held his head down in shame. "When will your reign-a of terror end?!" If Cappy kept this up, he could be banned from the party. A talking hat, banned from a going away party, how about that?
"Someone help me, please...I can't hold on for any longer!" pleaded Pac-Man, who saw his grip on the banner slipping away. One nasty fall and it could be over for the eater of ghosts. "Oh no, my grip on the banner is slipping, I'm gonna fall...Mario, Cappy, carry on my legacy! TELL MY STORY!"
Fortunately for Pac-Man, no story needed to be told, for when the eater of ghosts was released from the banner...he would stick a safe, perfect landing on the floor, having only fell just two feet. Certainly helped that the side of the banner Pac-Man was working on slowly tipped towards the floor.
"Well then...that was a lot less scarier than it was truly meant to be," remarked Pac-Man, smiling with his hands on his hips. Cappy, having learnt his lesson, would return to Mario's head, as Pac-Man picked up the ladder and stood it back up. "I take it you've heard about the party we're throwing for Lara, Mario?"
"Sure did - Asuka was the one-a who told me about it, and by accident I should-a mention," replied Mario, as Pac-Man climbed back up the ladder so he could finish hanging up the banner. "Told me about the party in the presence-a of Lara. Is the party supposed-a to be a surprise party?"
"That was Master Hand's intentions - but since Lara knows, I guess the surprise is officially out. She could fake being surprised, but then it wouldn't be genuine. Master Hand loves genuine surprises, and because of Asuka, that hand's gonna be one unhappy camper..."
"Wait, Lara already knows about the party?" asked Aerith, who just entered the ballroom holding a ginormous present in her hands. Obviously that present was meant for Lara, and Lara only.
"Apparently Asuka was the one who had to spill the beans...surprised that it was Geno, he's known for doing stuff like that." Pac-Man would finally finish hanging up the banner, as he looked at the banner with a sense of pride and accomplishment. EA would definitely be proud. "As long as Master Hand doesn't found it, we should be in the clear...but that's a huge given."
"So Lara knows what is expected to happen today...well, I'm not sure how Master Hand could've made Lara's going away party a surprise party, but he won't stop until his demands are fully met. I'll just put this present in the back, just for safekeeping." Aerith would put the present away, with Mario looking at the present with much curiosity.
"Say, Aerith, what's-a in the box?" the plumber would ask the flower girl, once she returned to the back. Aerith kept her lips sealed tight, for she wasn't allowed to reveal what the present was.
"Master Hand forbade me to tell anyone what the present is. It's for Lara, I can tell you that much, but other than that, I'm not allowed to say anything else..."
After paying a visit to Berkut and Rinea, Balthier was in the cafe, preparing himself a good ol' cup of cappuccino while Bowser keeping the sky pirate company and reading the newspaper. Having seen how Berkut and Rinea were progressing in their first week married, Balthier was ready to leave the mansion, but he couldn't leave without a cup of joe in his hand.
Berkut: Finally...we got the master bed situation all figured out, as our bed is in a location that Rinea and I mutually agreed upon. For that reason, the setup for our room...is complete!
Rinea: I dunno, Berkut, our baster bed is a bit on the small side...perhaps we should look into purchasing a bed that's bigger than...
Berkut: Whaddaya mean it's on the small side?! *suddenly throws a fit* Why can't you just appreciate the things that you already have...
Aerith: I do miss having Rinea as a roommate, she was always great for conversations. Whenever I needed somebody to talk to, Rinea was always my go-to gal. Frankly my new roommate is going to have some very big shoes to fill...
Cortex: Oh yeah baby, gonna have Aerith Gainsborough as my new roommate...gonna be my first experience being with a woman! That didn't come out right. Hopefully Cloud didn't overhear that, I'd hate to suffer from the taste of his Buster Sword...huh, that didn't come out right either.
As Balthier finished making his coffee, he would take his cup of cappuccino and take a sip, delighting himself with the pleasant taste and aroma of the coffee. After he was done with his sip, the sky pirate would be approached by Falco, who ran into the cafe in a hurry.
"Ah, if it isn't the funny man - Mr. Falco Lombardi himself!" gleamed Balthier as Falco skid to a halt, close to Balthier but not enough to knock the coffee out of the sky pirate's hands by accident. Balthier would probably hate Falco forever if that accident happened. "I never got the chance to tell you how superb you were at the wedding reception last week, did I? Let me just say that you have far exceeded my expectations! You could be quite the comedian, if you choose to go that route!"
"Being a comedian was never in my blood...I'll just stick to being a space pilot," replied Falco, looking behind him and noticing a skid mark he left behind. A little something for the folks to remember the avian pilot by. "I need you to do me a huge solid, Balthier my man...there's this girl I have a crush on, and her name is Katt Monroe."
"Katt Monroe...Katt Monroe...I take it she must be a cat?" Falco would nod his head, hoping Balthier wouldn't judge him. "Okay, just making sure I wasn't crazy. I won't judge you for liking felines, I promise. Go on."
"Yeah, so I have this huge crush on Katt, and I've had a crush on that chick for the longest now. Feel like now's the perfect time to step up to the plate, and finally ask out the girl of my dreams. But, I can't do it alone...so Balthier, can you help me?"
"Of course, of course...I've already helped Berkut and Rinea get adjusted to their married lives, so helping you ask the girl of your dreams out on a date should be a walk in the park for the likes of myself. Just follow me, Mr. Lombardi, and Katt Monroe will be your girl in no time!"
So Falco would follow Balthier out of the cafe, with Bowser looking up from his newspaper and watching the two leave. The koopa king had heard the entire conversation, realizing that he had witnessed a missed opportunity take place under his nose.
"Man, why didn't I come to Balthier went I had the chance..." the koopa king sighed, before returning to his newspaper. "Could've won Lara's heart already had I consulted him. He'd be a better help than Wolf, in all honesty..."
Sonic was in the lounge, eating a chili dog in peace, when he looked through the doorway and saw Balthier and Falco walk by. He would shoot a glare at Balthier, even though Falco was the one who turned his head to the right and saw the hedgehog glaring at him, thinking he was looking at him when really he was looking at Balthier. Falco walked even faster, as he and Balthier continued down the hallway.
"Yeah, keep on walking you filthy snake, just keep on walking..." Sonic sneered at Balthier as the sky pirate walked away, oblivious to the fact that Sonic was on to him. Eventually he'll find out the truth, one way or another.
"Sonic who on earth are you calling a snake?" questioned Coco, who was in the lounge playing Guess Who? with her brother Crash. For a brain dead marsupial that knew nothing but gibberish, Crash was surprisingly doing well in the game. "Did somebody betray you or something?"
"I was referring to that heinous sky pirate crook, Balthier...that man is plotting with Berkut and Dark Pit to kill Alm, so Berkut can take over Valentia and..."
"Oh, bother, not this whole Alm assassination plot again..." Coco sighed, as she facepalmed. Crash, taking advantage of the opportunity, would flip all the images on Coco's side of the game board and pumped his fists, thinking that he won. And to think Crash knew how the game should be won... "For the last time, Sonic, Balthier is not a bad guy, he's just an innocent sky pirate who was asked by Berkut to serve as the officiant of his wedding."
"...and he was also asked by that same individual to help him kill Alm. Remember, we all thought Jakob was a nice, innocent butler, until he eventually revealed his true colors gradually over time. Balthier would do the same and reveal his true colors, and will suffer the consequences!"
"But Jakob was pretty much a jerk to nearly everyone, whereas Balthier is a kind-hearted man that wanted to make Berkut and Rinea's wedding special. So your argument is entirely invalid, Sonic."
Sonic: Two weeks later and no one still believes me...but the longer it'll take for everyone to find out the ugly truth, the more likely I'll look like a genius! Man, I'm gonna be the smartest hedgehog on earth pretty soon...
After Lara gave away her "gifts" to the residents, the tomb raider found some time away from Master Hand, and she had to make the most of that time before the party began. And what did Lara do with the precious time that she had? Show pictures of her best friend to Link, Cloud, and Sora, of course!
"The girl on the right is my best friend, Samantha Nishimura - met her at the University of London," Lara said to Link and company, showing her a picture of her and Samantha standing together smiling, in the living room. "She had studied cinematography there."
"A university is a fancy institution where people go and continue their education, in case you didn't know Sora," Cloud said to the Keyblade wielder, who nodded his head after learning this information. "You can get your degree there and get a job in the work field."
"Sounds awesome, do they have places at these universities where they created monsters, like Heartless and the like?" asked Sora, with a curious smile on his face. Link, Cloud, and Lara looked at Sora, with Lara being the most befuddled.
"...anyways, Samantha always had a passion for film-making, and whenever I traveled around the world, she would always come with me with that digital camera of hers. She's practically obsessed with that camera, I tell you...it's like her one true love."
"Is it because she's too afraid to ask a guy out? She can only find comfort in nonliving things?" Lara, deeply offended, looked up at Sora; Cloud glared intensely at Sora, shaking his head in disdain.
"Not cool man, not cool..." remarked the swordsman, appalled by Sora's comments. Sora just had a nervous grin on his face, as the awkwardness was strongly felt.
"So, uh, Lara, what is your friend Samantha up to nowadays?" Link asked the tomb raider, doing his best to make the awkwardness go away. "Is she filming stuff? Doing a documentary?"
"Samantha is in a hospital as I speak, recovering from an incident that happened a few years back," replied Lara, looking down at the floor; it was obviously a very hard topic for her to discuss. "An incident that involved demon possession and an evil syndicate. A part of why I wish to return to London is so I could avenge Samantha, and make the syndicate pay for what they've done to my best friend."
"This evil syndicate...do they have a very strict dress code, like Organization XIII?" asked Sora; Lara, who did not know who this Organization XIII was, just smiled in confusion at the question, while Link and Cloud both felt bad for Sora.
"Lara, can I have a quick word with you?" Peach poked her head through the living room entrance to ask Lara. "It's about the party we have planned for you." Lara would place her picture in her pocket as she got up and followed Peach away to who-know-where.
"I thought the party for Lara was supposed to be a 'surprise'..." Cloud said to Link and Sora, who both shrugged their shoulders.
Because Lara knew about the party (thanks to Asuka...) it was worth telling the tomb raider about when the party would begin. Peach would speak with Lara in private to announce the start time.
"The party, according to Master Hand, will begin at 5 o' clock sharp," Peach informed Lara, who wasn't so sure about the time. ""He's dead-set on five o' clock, so we can't move the start time. What do you think, Lara?"
"I'm afraid the party might have to be cancelled...my plane leaves around five today," replied Lara, as Peach was concerned. Think of how Master Hand would react if he heard that. "I'd hate for the party to be cancelled, but..."
"No, no, it's fine Lara, we'll work something out..." But that wouldn't seem like the case, as Peach had her hand pressed against her face, not knowing what to do. "...you sure you have to leave around five?"
"Take a look at my planet ticket." Lara would show Peach her plane ticket, with the time "5:05 P.M." inscribed as the time of takeoff. "Obviously I can't rush to the airport - Mario said he would drive me there, and I don't want to overwhelm him. So either we have to cancel the party, or you can just go on...without me."
Peach and the planning committee were suddenly left with a dire choice - cancel the party, or have the party without the lady of the hour, Lara, in attendance. No matter the decision, there was one gigantic hurdle Peach and company would have to overcome...
...Master Hand.
