Author's Note:
Yeah...y'all know what it is.
"Is the Solaire of Astora from Dark Souls going to appear? Will Doomguy cause trouble for the characters if he shows up? Can you include a scene of Pauline meeting the Diddy Kong Racing characters? (As part of her journey to bury the hatchet with the Kongs and their friends) has Pit ever referenced the events of Kid Icarus: Of Myths and Monsters? And finally, what are your thoughts on the Tokyo Game Show?"
Dark Souls is on the Switch now, right? Solair will indeed appear. Doomguy will cause a little trouble. I can do a scene with Pauline and the DKR characters. Pit hasn't referenced those events yet. And I only paid attention to the Tokyo Game Show just for Kingdom Hearts III, and I was impressed by what I saw. So yeah. On to tacocatlog:
"can you make an episode where simon thinks corrin and kamui ( possibly robin and raven) are vampires? or maybe simon thinks the inklings are vampires. corrin, kamui, and the inklings do have pointed teeth after all..."
Why not have Simon hunt after all four of them? The more the merrier. Next up is goltacocat:
"When are the Morgans going to appear? Also, could male Morgan be named Marc?"
Uh, they'll appear soon. And the male Morgan will be named Marc. Last up, Derick Lindsey:
"I wonder if in the future you could have a chapter where when the smashers have to go somewhere by bus and Toad can't drive due to either being busy with something else or he's sick so Kapp'n fills for him and Pit doesn't want to get on cause he's scared that Kapp'n will end up killing everyone by driving it off a cliff or something (as a reference to his assist trophy killing you by driving you off screen)."
Kappn' driving everyone off a cliff and killing them sounds...dark, but of course it's something Pit would think of. I could possibly do an episode where Kapp'n fills in for Toad for a day and rides around on his bus. Ahem, STOLEN bus..
Episode 145: Incentive
Master Hand was in a whole heap of trouble - and deservedly so - for not having enough funds to pay for the second mortgage bill. Now you're probably asking yourself, "How could that be, does Master Hand not steal money from Star Records?"
Well, when you're spending the money you stole on a Lamborghini you can't even drive, it's more probable than not that you would end up broke. To be fair, Master Hand was pretty much broke before Star Records started, as he never had a job, but he entrusted his residents to generate as much income as possible.
And now, with the second mortgage bill supposed to be due in two weeks, Master Hand was terribly hard-pressed for money. To make matters, Tom Nook - the tanoki who seemingly financed the mansion - has constantly visited Master Hand nonstop, bothering him about the mortgage. Pretty typical behavior from such an evil tanoki like him.
Master Hand: The second mortgage bill isn't anything to play around with; if I don't pay it off in time, all the residents will be HOMELESS! (Okay, so maybe they won't be homeless, but some of them will be anyways.) The Crash clan would have to return to N. Sanity Island...the Kongs would have to go back to the jungle...and poor Samus, she'll have to go back to working for the Galactic Federation...but her future hubby Anthony Higgs might still be there, so it won't be that bad.
While Master Hand was off worrying about the second mortgage, Mega Man was introducing a new invention invented by Dr. Light to his fellow residents in the meeting room. Mario, Luigi, and their folks were invited to attend. Presenting this invention with him was Volnutt, X, Zero, and Geo Stelar. Proto Man and Bass were asked to present the invention, but they both declined - though the latter robot had a pretty good reason for his declination.
"In the wake of the second mortgage bill, I asked Dr. Light about a good way to raise money to pay the bill off," Mega Man kicked things off, standing at the front of the room, at the spot Master Hand would usually take. Speaking of Master Hand, he wasn't present, as he was off worrying about the mortgage. "And that's when he told me about something he has invented recently. Something that could make us some money."
"Ladies and gentlemen, on behalf of my robot friends, I would like to introduce to you all...the Harmonizer 3000!" announced Volnutt, as X held up the invention in question. It was a metallic cube, with a giant hole on each side, and it came along with several colored buttons.
"Ooh, why is it shaped like that?" asked Rosalina, easily entranced by how the Harmonizer 3000 looked. Some people are so easily impressed, aren't they?
"It's so you can tell the people you sell it to, 'unleash the power of the cube...'," explained Zero, using some jazz hands to enhance what he said. "Okay, so it might not be cool, and it might not roll off the tongue, but you can't sell a product without a tagline or slogan."
"It looks pretty huge, how much does it weigh?" asked Linkle, wanting to take a wild guess at the weight of the Harmonizer 3000 but not wanting to be seen as the dumbest girl in the room. Being a blonde wouldn't help as much.
"Honestly not that much - without the battery pack and optional memory booster, I'd say this bad boy weighs about three pounds," replied X; for some, that was extremely hard to believe. The Harmonizer 3000 looked like it could weight close to 15 pounds, at the very least.
"How much memory does the Harmonizer have without the booster?" asked Cloud; the swordsman wasn't even remotely interested, so he had no idea why he asked that question in the first place. Somebody probably put him up to it.
"I'd say that the Harmonizer can hold up to...fifty L." Fifty L? Such a response led the residents to look at each other in confusion, as there was murmurings among the crowd.
"I'm sorry, 'L'?" Cloud was really starting to regretting asking X his question. He might've caused the meeting to go on for about five minutes. The man wanted to leave, pronto. "What exactly is an L?"
"How many L to a K?" Link followed up Cloud's question, because that's what great friends do. Maybe he was the one who put Cloud up to asking that question earlier. So he might not be a good friend at all...
"You're really going to want a booster," replied Mega Man, as the murmurings in the meeting room started to grow in decibels. "Can everyone settle down please? We do have a meeting to finish..." Mega Man wasn't that authoritative enough, so the murmurings only died down a little.
"How on earth are we supposed to sell that thing, when we don't know exactly how much memory it has?" questioned Doc Louis, who was still feeling salty that he wasn't added to Smash. He hoped to get a second chance another day.
"If you don't mind, Mega Man, I'll gladly take five of those Harmonizer 3000s," Sora raised his hand, wanting to do whatever it took to raise money to pay off the second mortgage bill. Helping others out whenever he could was always the Keyblade wielder's MO.
Sora: Since I've always lived on an island, I never really knew how mortgage worked...but with Master Hand being "the creator of the Smash universe", you'd think he would AT LEAST have millions of dollars stowed away, for important stuff. I guess even the most powerful entities in the universe aren't that good when it comes to financial management, huh?
Mario, who had to take a quick potty break, would return to the meeting room, and saw the entire room in a furor, with everyone saying this and that about the Harmonizer 3000. The plumber saw Mega Man and company, unable to bring reason back to the meeting room.
"WILL EVERYONE PLEASE-A SHUT UP?!" Mario boomed at the top of his lungs, making everyone stop speaking in a heartbeat. Now that's what you call being authoritative; Mega Man and his robot pals should be taking notes from Mario. "What is with all-a the ruckus?"
"Mario, don't make us sell that stupid thing," Viridi told the plumber, as she pointed at the Harmonizer 3000. Bass sat back in his seat with a sinister smile, enjoying the fact that nobody appreciated Dr. Light's invention. Really brought a smile to his face.
"This is Mega Man's-a meeting, I have-a no say in the matter. It is up-a to Mega Man to decide whether or not-a you guys should sell Dr. Light's invention." No point in swaying Mega Man's mind.
"Thank you Mario, we strongly appreciate your support," thanked Mega Man, glad to know that the plumber was on his side. Screw what the others had to think.
"You are very much-a welcome, Mega Man. Now if you excuse-a me, I have some things-a to do with Master Hand. I've been informed-a by Master Hand after my bath-a room break that Tom Nook is back again, and Master Hand apparently wants-a me to be with him...so, wish-a me luck. Not that I need it..."
After the meeting was over, the residents went back to their previous activities, with a few select folk trying to rid the Harmonizer 3000 out of their memories. Pit went back to playing video games (mainly Fortnite) in the living room with Kirby, with Corrin seated on the same couch as the two best friends while reading a book.
"It's such a shame that Emperor Palpatine has always been a grumpy fellow," Corrin uttered this random thought, while Pit and Kirby continued to play their game. "A more affable Palpatine would drastically change how people view him. He wouldn't be seen as evil anymore..."
"Um, Kirby, someone on the phone would like to speak with you," Fiora said as she entered the living room, carrying the mansion's house phone in her hand. Yes, the phone was wireless. Makes life so much easier.
"Someone on the phone wants to speak with me, well I'd be," remarked Kirby, slightly amazed. Moments like these don't happen to the pink puffball that often, if at all. It was a once in a blue moon type of thing. "Who is this person that wants to speak with me so?"
"Her name...her name is Adeleine." The moment he heard the name, Kirby - who was whopping Pit's behind in the video game, despite his lack of fingers - dropped his joycon unto the floor, his eyes wide as as the moon. Pit, Corrin, and Fiora all looked at the puffball, wondering why he reacted like he did.
"Everything okay Kirby?" Pit asked his best friend, waving his hand over his eyes. Kirby did not respond - he had the same facial expression, his eyes and mouth open. There was a tinkle in his eyes, so it wasn't like he was dead. "Does this mean I can kill off your character now? Please, pretty please?"
"Adeleine told me that she'll be coming by later today. She said she has a lot of artwork to share with you, if you're interested." Kirby still did not respond, for his mouth was still very much agape.
"Who is Adeleine, Kirby - is she your ex-girlfriend?" asked Corrin, stoking the fire with his question. One should never ask romantic questions to Kirby. Especially if said questions ever involved Adeleine. "Isn't she that girl you claimed was a skank, and that you hated her guts? Or am I thinking about someone else?"
"No, no, you're thinking about someone else," replied Kirby, quickly snapping out of his trance and returning to reality. "I like her...as a friend." That certainly didn't sound vaguely suspicious.
"I might've just misquoted you. Or someone else who said that. I would never say such things about a woman. Or a man, for that matter. That's not me, it's not what I'm about."
"Adeleine and I get along very well. I think we used to fight against King Dedede once. Seems like a past memory...even though I feel like it just happened yesterday. Adeleine is one of my few female friends from Dream Land."
"If what Fiora said is any indication, Adeleine sounds like an awesome photographer," said Pit, leading Kirby and Fiora to assume how the angel thought Adeleine was a photographer in the first place. "I can't wait to meet her in person!"
Kirby: Yeah, it's not so much that I mind having Adeleine over...it's that when the two of us are seen together, somebody is gonna assume that the two of us are a pair, an item. Which will get annoying real, real fast. Wolf or Bowser will never leave us alone. I'll have to find a way to keep the tempers down, or Adeleine might never visit me again..
Mario joined Master Hand in his room, standing with the giant hand at the window. He watched as Kapp'n pulled up to the mansion driveway in his taxi, with Tom Nook stepping out of the vehicle.
"Do you see him Mario, do you see that maniac psychopath?" Master Hand asked the plumber, seething with rage and anger. He was even shaking, doing his best to quell his inner rage. "How could such a fiend even be from this earth?! People like him don't deserve to exist..."
"Look Master Hand, I understand-a that you're angry, but there is no need-a to blast him," Mario did his best to soothe the giant hand, knowing deep down it would get him nowhere. "It's not like Kapp'n has ever did-a anything wrong." Master Hand backhanded the plumber so hard, he could've literally decapitated him.
"I wasn't talking about the crackhead turtle Kapp'n, you bozo! I was specifically referring to Tom Nook, and his psychopathic self! I can't even believe that I'm letting such a demented person inside my mansion...where have my morals gone?!"
"Is Tom Nook really as bad-a as people make him out to be?" Mario has heard all sorts of stories about Tom Nook - how he was the true antagonist of Animal Crossing, and that he was an evil scheming capitalist - but he never believed them to be true. "You could-a be overreacting, Master Hand."
"Am not, I know a psychopath whenever I see one. As a psycho maniac, I should know..." Master Hand admitting that he was a psychopath? That's truly one for the history books.
"Welp, I just heard the front-a door open, better get ready..." Master Hand would take a very deep breath, bracing himself as the door knob on his bedroom door began to twist moments later. Tom Nook would soon open the door, stepping inside and sniffing the air.
"The aroma of this room is just so...so pleasant," the tanoki remarked, before bringing his attention to Master Hand and Mario. Although Tom Nook couldn't see it, Master Hand was deathly afraid; Mario just looked calm and collected.
"Hello Tom-a Nook, step on inside," greeted Mario, leading Master Hand to wonder why the plumber was acting so cordial with the tanoki. Tom Nook immediately closed the door behind him, stepping forward to Mario. "Had a safe-a trip to the mansion, I assume?"
"A safe trip is always guaranteed when you're riding with Kapp'n," replied Tom Nook, as he and Mario quickly shook hands. It unnerved Master Hand, seeing Mario coming in contact with Tom Nook; he expected the plumber disintegrate in less than 24 hours. "How are you today, Master Hand?"
"I'm...doing...just fine..." the giant hand reluctantly answered, though it could be that he was struggling to refrain himself from killing Tom Nook. He was shaking violently when he spoke with Tom Nook.
"Been visiting Master Hand the past few days, and he still does this..." tsked Tom Nook, before redirecting his attention to Mario. "Well it looks like it'll be just me and you, Mario. Since Master Hand is still acting...very finicky. Shall we discuss matters somewhere else?"
"I know a good-a place, just follow me!" exclaimed Mario, as he led Tom Nook out of the room. Master Hand watched, sick as ever of Tom Nook.
"Tom Nook...I'll destroy you..." the giant hand uttered, before pulling away into the shadows of his room.
Flora: How do we feel about the prospect of Master Hand losing the mansion, and us two having to return to Nohr? Honestly it hasn't bothered us as much. In fact, I don't think it's settled in yet...
Felicia: The only downside of returning to Nohr is that we would have to deal with Jakob - unless King Garon got a clue and banished Jakob from the kingdom. But we know he wouldn't think about doing that; I mean, he still has a bona fide creeper in Niles, stalking all the townsfolk!
Mario and Tom Nook would met in a separate room, where the Black Knight usually had his tea parties. Speaking of the Black Knight, he was pouring tea for Tom Nook from his pitcher. If Master Hand saw this, he would be so displeased...
"Let me know when you need some more tea!" the Black Knight said to Tom Nook, who nodded his head; if the tanoki had thumbs, he would've given a thumbs up. A head nod would surely suffice.
"So I've been looking at these financial documents you have given me, and I think that Master Hand can do much better," Tom Nook spoke with Mario, after the Black Knight left the premises. "So, so much better, it's not even funny..."
"I agree, but are you-a factoring every little thing, like the bills-a paid, the bank statements, everything?" asked Mario, as Tom Nook took a sip from his tea. It was so good, he literally had to close his eyes and savor it. The tanoki placed his cup of tea back down, as he looked at Mario with his drowsy-looking eyes.
"Mario, have you ever wondered why Master Hand chose you to be the man of the mansion?" This was a question Mario was never asked, so it caught the plumber off-guard. Made it hard for him to even think of an answer.
"I think I can sum-a it up with what I think is your favorite ice-a cream flavor….vanilla?" Tom Nook looked at Mario all funny and stuff, before erupting into a small fit of laughter. Mario laughed along too, never seeing Tom Nook so affable before.
"Vanilla? No no no no. Master Hand did NOT choose you because you're a vanilla person. You're much more than that. Also, you'll never guess in a million billion years what my favorite ice cream flavor is; it's a secret only Timmy and Tommy know."
"Are you insinuating that Master Hand choose-a me...because of a very specific reason?" Tom Nook wouldn't answer Mario's question - instead, the tanoki took yet another sip of his cup of tea. He sure loved to keep Mario on his toes.
"I dunno, Mario...do you have the ability to inspire others? To uplift your peers, and motivate them to do what's best? Do you have the skill set?"
Mario: Can I inspire? *laughs* I don't-a know! *pauses* ...I really don't know.
"Tom Nook, the Black Knight wanted us to give you some scones," said Felicia, as she and Flora entered the room with the latter holding a plate of scones. Florawas moving rather quickly, like she was in a rush, and so she dropped the scones unto the floor.
"Oops my bad!" the maid apologized, picking up the scones and placing them back on the plate, before putting it on the table. Screw the five second rule. "Promise it won't happen again...I think."
"It's fine, you did the best you could," assured Tom Nook, as he picked up a scone and ate it. He chewed it rather slowly, analyzing the taste and texture, before swallowing the scone entirely. "Tastes dry...don't think I can stomach another scone."
"Yeah, to be fair, they're pretty old," stated Felicia, with a smile that would wipe away Tom Nook's criticism. Which it didn't. It was hard for Tom Nook to get the taste out of his mouth.
"And the Black Night wanted you ladies to give me old scones because...?" What if it was actually Master Hand who got the maids to deliver the scones to Tom Nook, in the hopes that expired food would kill the tanoki?
"The Black Night asked if you wanted anything to go with your tea, and you said you wanted cookies..." replied Flora - alright, so maybe Master Hand had nothing to do with it.
"You know-a what ladies, why don't you get Tom-a Nook some malasadas, and I'll just finish off-a these scones," Mario said to the maids, as he took the plate of scones and ate the cookies, cringing with disgust with every bite. "So good..."
"Mario I don't think you should ate these scones, especially by yourself." Mario didn't listen to Flora - the plumber scarfed down the scones, one by one, like a champ. It was a very admirable thing to do.
"I've been craving to eat-a some old scones for the longest now." Mario was eating the scones like he was at an eating contest, and the more he ate, the more the maids were worried that the plumber might wind up sick. Mario must think he's invincible.
"Okay then, well...enjoy the scones," Felicia said meekly, as she and Flora left the premises. Felicia looked back at Mario one final time, with concern, before leaving the room for good. And once Mario looked up and saw that the maids were gone, he grabbed Cappy and spat the scones into the hat. Not the best use for Cappy.
"Didn't want to make her feel down, did you?" Tom Nook asked Mario, specifically referring to Flora. Mario looked up at the tanoki and nodded, before continuing to spit out the scones. "I really admire that..."
"Flora always had-a low confidence for the longest now, and that kinda messes up-a her performance as a maid," explained Mario, wiping his mouth once he was done spitting out the scones. Cappy was resting on the table, feeling miserable. "I was just trying to help-a her keep her head up."
"Now that...that is what you call inspiring others. Bravo, Mario, bravo..."
Cappy: ...ever get that sucky feeling when you actually feel like human vomit?
Mario would take Tom Nook to the gaming room after the meeting was over, because he felt it was the right thing to do. In this gaming room, Tom Nook saw many residents gathered together, enjoying themselves as they usually do.
"Aw yeah, new high score!" exclaimed Ike, pumping his fist as he was playing some golf simulator. "Let's go!"
"I think you're off your game, Dr. Cortex..." Wii Fit Trainer said to the mad scientist, beating him in table soccer, as Uka found the opportunity to laugh.
"If there's a second mortgage bill that has to be paid, they why are you lazy bums still here, and not working to make money?" asked Tom Nook,shouting loud enough to grab everyone's attention in the gaming room. Wario slowly raised his hand up high. "Yes, Wario, care to enlighten us?"
"We come here because we actually like to have fun," replied Wario, as Tom Nook gave the fatso a hard stare before shaking his head, tsking. "Unlike people like you, who love stealing money from people! Like that crap to me!"
"Trust me Wario, you'd go someplace else...just not here. This place isn't it, it's not the answer you're looking for." Wario kept his tempers low, not wanting to square up with Tom Nook. He imagined it would be a one-sided fight, anyways.
"It's an answer, still."
"It's a wrong answer."
"There are no wrong answers."
"Take a look at where you are, a place where one can let loose and hang around and party like it's...like it's 1999. Like it's a bar mitzvah. This place is a bona fide distraction. Anybody know why?"
"Why is that, Tom Nook?" Rinea asked before she looked at Mario, wondering why the plumber hasn't said anything yet.
"Let me tell you how I buy something these days. I know what I want I go on the internet, I get the best price. Or I don't know what I want and I go to a small store that can help me. The era of personal service is back. You are back. At times you'll find that customers will pay for higher prices and then they will thank you, and you will say to them 'you are welcome.' And with that being said..."
"What-a exactly are you trying to get at, Tom Nook?" asked Mario, as the tanoki turned around to face him. Whatever Tom Nook had to say to the plumber, it might not be pretty...
"Mario, Master Hand chose you to be the man of the mansion for a reason. Lead these people. Inspire them. Make these people earn for their money, and reap from the many fruits that come with it. Their allowance? Double it. I dare you. No, I command you."
Polar Bear: Wow, this Tom Nook guy sure looks like a pushover. No wonder Master Hand really hates his guts...
Samus: Is Tom Nook gonna be like Jakob 2.0? If he is, then I'm moving out of the mansion, temporarily... *sighs* ...if only it could be a permanent move.
"You got it!" exclaimed Mario, as he gave Tom Nook a thumbs up.
"Double," affirmed Tom Nook, making sure Mario knew what his mission was.
"Done." Mario gave Tom Nook the OK hand sign, hoping to make his doubts vanish away.
"I'm not kidding with you," Tom Nook said in a slightly more serious tone.
"Neither am-a I, it's already done! Ha, I'm just kidding, it's going to take-a some time..."
"...double," Tom Nook would say one last time, before leaving the gaming room. Mario nervously pulled on his collar, wondering how on earth he could double the allowance of everyone in the mansion. Did everyone even have an allowance?
One of the favorite pastimes of Smash fans was reading Smash leaks, seeing what crazy things so-called "professional leakers" came up with for Ultimate. Some leaks were believable, though too good to be true; others sounded like they came from a fan's personal pipe dream.
Little known fact: this particular pastime was also a favorite pastime of Fox and Falco, who were reading some fake Smash leaks on Falco's laptop. A laptop Falco bought so he could pretty much keep in touch with his girlfriend, Katt Monroe.
"Oh man, get a load of this leak...it claims to be the most credible one..." Falco said to Fox, Link, and Champion as they were gathered around, with the avian pilot doing his best to stifle his laughter. "'The Story Mode is about trying to free the spirits of every character on the roster with the exception of the Original 8 Characters. And a Final Character Reveal that you can unlock by simply completing the story mode: Skull Kid!'"
"Why would you work through an entire story mode just to unlock Skull Kid?" questioned Fox with a slight chuckle, while his friend Falco was laughing hysterically and even fell to the floor. "Nobody's gonna be like 'OOOOH SKULL KID LET'S GOOOOO!' when they unlock him. He's just not a box office name."
"As members of the Hyrule timeline, Champion Link and I can both agree to that," said Link, as Champion Link nodded his head. As Falco composed himself and sat back in his chair, Mario entered the Star Records room, heading to the desk and moving Falco's laptop to the side.
"Bruh, who said you could touch my laptop?" Falco frowned at Mario, who would take a seat on the desk. "And who said you could sit on our desk?! You better have some disinfecting wipes in your pocket!"
"Don't mind-a me fellas, just wanna talk with-a you all," replied Mario, as Falco was left offended at how close Mario was sitting to his laptop. "Just thought we'd-a have a little rap-a session, talk about business...see how-a things are going? Ahem…"
"You hardly ask us about business at Star Records, Mario," stated Fox; at times, the pilot wished the plumber was a bit more involved in Star Records' affairs. Or at least be in the know. "Why don't you start things off?"
"If no one else wants-a to? I was just thinking about Tom-a Nook…man. What a guy. Just throws down goals, you know? Anyways, Fox and Falco, do you still-a have that $2,500? Mind if you help a brother out-a and give me some...dough?"
"Mario you can't do that, Fox and Falco need the money to fly to Japan!" stated Big Top, cheery and happy as he always was. Even happy about the prospect of not going to Japan. Nothing fazed him.
Big Top: Fox and Falco refuse to take me on their trip to Japan, since they want me to guard the Star Records room while they're gone. Which is fine by me. I've seen enough of the world already being on top of MC Ballyhoo's head, so I'm not salty. In fact, I've never felt salty in my life! Why, I don't even know what it means!
"I only just-a need a little bit..." responded Mario, leaving Fox and Falco weary about how much this "little bit" was. "...gotta raise as much-a money as possible, since Tom Nook expects-a me to double everyone's allowance."
"How does he expect you to do that?" asked Champion Link, while he was adjusting his ponytail. Perhaps the manliest ponytail that has ever existed. "It's not like we can press a magic button, and make money appear."
"OF course-a not. There's no magic button. You have-a to summon that." Nothing like some Materia from Cloud to summon a magic button. If that was even possible.
"If we could just double our allowance, we already would have," stated Link, who knew he couldn't help out Mario much given his own financial shortcomings. "If only Master Hand paid us more."
"Well Mario, what do you expect Falco and I to do?" Fox questioned the plumber, hating the fact that he was being roped into Mario's dilemma. "Sign more idol singers? Make Knuckles produce more mixtapes? Broadcast Mamroi's show on live televison? Falco, my man, am I missing anything?"
"We could start a voluntary training service for the local kids," replied Falco, thoughtfully stroking his beak. "Groom them and whatnot, and before you know it they're out of the house, and off to college!" Such an out-of-the-box idea by Falco.
"You know what? You boys-a need to get your heads-a out of the box," Mario said to the pilots, showing small signs of desperation. "If you did-a have something, what would it look-a like, what would-a it be?"
"New singers, a new territory to look into, maybe moving into our own building so we won't have to put up with Master Hand any longer… " As Fox ratted off his list, Mario clutched his leg, feeling it fall asleep suddenly.
"Gah, leg's-a falling asleep on me..." the plumber grimaced, hopping off the desk as he limped away out of the room. "I'll talk with-a you boys later." After Mario left, Falco grabbed his laptop, as the others went back to reading some more Smash leaks. Hopefully Goku's name doesn't appear as often.
Some have often questioned why Layton and Luke were still hanging around the mansion. You'd think that after they solved the mystery last year, they would return to England and continue solving mysteries there. But nope, the Brits were still at the mansion, with Master Hand claiming that Layton was "trying to hide from someone".
Speaking of Layton, the detective was walking by in the foyer when he heard the doorbell ring, followed by some girly giggling behind the front door. For whatever reason, the giggling made Layton feel a little suspect.
"Please don't let it be her, please don't let it be her, please don't let it be her..." Layton said almost prayerfully, as he opened the front door. He would find himself perplexed when he saw a very small girl, almost tiny, dressed up as a young artist.
"Hi mister!" the girl waved to Layton, waving her hand which had a paintbrush in it. She was holding a drawing pad in her arm. "Is Kirby home?"
"Oh, I see that you're...you're not who I think you are," answered Layton, as the girl looked at the detective funny. "Or who you thought I was, i mean. I thought you were, is what I meant to say. I'm just a man, living in this mansion. Though I'm actually from Britain."
"Okay...so is Kirby home or not?" Layton was so worried about "her" that it almost discombobulated him. But fortunately the detective regained his cool.
"Sorry about that, don't know what got to me there. Let me call Kirby for you..." Layton turned around, held his hands up to his mouth, and shouted: "KIRBY! SOME GIRL WANTS TO SEE YOU!"
"Rub a dub dub, I got scrubbed, rub a dub dub..." sang Kirby as he entered the foyer, strolling through until he reached the front door. The pink puffball pushed Layton to the side, as he was face to face with the girl. "'Sup Adeleine, my darlin'?"
Kirby: In order to make Adeleine feel comfortable, I would have to act more upbeat and hip. Worst case scenario, people will see how "changed" I am and assume that Adeleine is the love of my life, that she's the spark that can give me a complete 180. People and their assumptions...sometimes, it's like the worst part of mob mentality.
"Wow Kirby, I didn't know you could use actual words..." marveled Adeleine, completely left in shock and awe. "...always thought you couldn't even say your own name! You must've came a long way!"
"Actually, Adeleine, I'm using a voice device that allows me to speak the human language," explained Kirby, seeing the awe from Adeleie dwindle away. Dude shouldn't have said that; he should've left Adeleine's mind blown the entire day. "I'll show it to you, if you like. Why don't you step inside?"
"Sure thing, Kirby!" Adeleine would enter the mansion, with Kirby closing the front door behind him. Kirby would take his girl...erm, friend, to the living room, only to encounter Captain Falcon along the way.
"Hey Kirby, who's that girl?" the racer asked; you know Kirby was gonna receive LOTS of questions today, just for hanging around a human girl. "Gotta say, she looks as cute as a button!"
"This is Adeleine, a girl I know from Dream Land," Kirby introduced Adeleine to Captain Falcon, as his friend smiled and waved to Falcon. "In case you wouldn't tell, she's an artist...not a professional artist, by the way."
"Humans live in Dream Land? Must be a dime in a dozen...well, I'll leave you and your friend be. Don't go about smooching, okay you two?" Captain Falcon gave Kirby and Adeleine a two finger salute, before continuing on his way.
"Can we…go some place private?" Adeleine whispered to Kirby, feeling unsettled by Captain Falcon's comment. Who knows, she might have sentiments similar to Kirby.
"Follow me, I got a space," replied Kirby, as he led Adeleine to his bedroom. The perfect spot. "I've been thinking about you all morning. I don't know what you did, I can barely walk today." The puffball was definitely hamming it up with his "affability"...
Sonic was always seen eating chili dogs, but when he wasn't feeding himself his favorite food, you could see the hedgehog feeding his pet Pokemon, Shaymin. Sonic was feeding Shaymin some potato chips in the vending room (nobody ever said that giving fatty foods to POkemon was a health concern), when he saw Mario walk in with the corner of his eye.
"Sonic the Hedge-a Hog, there you are!" exclaimed Mario, as Sonic cringed at the fact that the plumber botched his full name. He found the weirdest things to be petty over.
"Let me guess, somebody needs a potato chip?" asked Sonic, as he looked inside his bag of potato chips...only to see that it was now empty, save for a few small crumbs? "Wanna lick the bottom of this bag?"
"No, that's ok. Already ate some-a pizza rolls." They didn't make you feel gassy, did they Mario? "Just, I want, I wanted to ask you about…"
"Is this about the raising allowances thing? Because if it is I just don't see the point. It's so Wall Street. Speaking of Wall Street, you should totally see that Wolf on Wall Street movie. Sneaking inside that movie theater was worth it!"
Sonic: Society can be so weird, man...not only is it unacceptable for a teenager to watch an R-rated movie without parent supervision, but it's also unacceptable for a little kid to see a woman's boobs! Any kid I know have seen their mother's breast when they were breastfed, so I don't get the...Oh, so it's only bad when they look at the breasts of another woman. I see how sick and twisted you people are!
"I know right, this whole situation is so-a much like Wall Street, it's not even funny..." remarked Mario, as Sonic handed Shaymin the empty bag of potato chips so she could lick for crumbs. "...so, um, how is everything going?"
"Everything's been good, really good," replied Sonic, remaining his typical upbeat and happy self. "Can't complain! Why do you ask?"
"You wouldn't mind...selling some-a chili dogs to raise-a money, would you?" Sonic thought over the offer; he loved chili dogs so much, that selling his favorite food to others was something he was reluctant in doing.
"I wouldn't mind a bit...but lemme tell you, Mario, the hot dog wieners are not immune. They'll spoil pretty easily. We do have the hot dog buns, but it's the chili we have to worry about. Cilan loves to use sage in his chili, so we'll just have to make our own."
"And by 'have to make our own', you mean you're gonna make-a the chili yourself, right?" Sonic looked at Mario all funny, as the hedgehog had never cooked chili, let alone anything. So where did he get the chili for his chili dogs from? Dunban?
"What do you mean? You saying that I have to cook the chili?" Sonic was moaning, and Mario knew how the hedgehog can be when he was forced to do things he didn't like.
"We gotta get-a some money rolling in some-a how...otherwise Tom Nook will-a think differently of me...and perhaps everyone-a else in the mansion..." Seeing how increasingly desperate Mario was, Sonic sighed, seemingly agreeing to the plumber's offer.
"Fine, if you want some money, I'll get you some money!" Sonic grabbed Shaymin off the floor, as he marched out of the vending machine room. "C'mon Shaymin - we're gonna make some chili dogs!"
"I got dibs on the hot dog roller!" exclaimed Shaymin...wait, a hot dog roller? Did Sonic own such a contraption? Then he did make his own chili dogs!
Zelda and Roy were in the lounge, both seated at the same couch doing different things. Zelda was reading a Hyrulian book, whereas Roy was listening to songs on his music player. And no, they weren't songs by Straight Fiyah. Roy was thankfully over that phase.
"Zelda, are you there?" a voice asked, as Linkle stepped inside the lounge, coming all the way from Luigi's home. Zelda looked up when her name was mentioned, as Linkle came over with a magazine. "Have you ever read this before?"
"Seventeen magazine?" Zelda read the cover title of the magazine, already being familiar with it. "Yeah, I read it quite often. It's actually a favorite of Midna's. Even though she's too afraid to admit it. Said it might ruin her image."
"I've seen Midna read those magazines up in the attic, she really likes looking at the hairstyles," stated Roy, pausing his music so he could interject himself into the conversation at hand. Zelda and Linkle looked at the swordsman, who meekly placed his earphone back in his ear. "Not that I've seen her or anything..."
Roy: I see Midna up in the attic on most days, reading a bunch of magazines. Don't know why she does it for, but I do hear her giggling a lot as she reads...you know, there's something about Midna giggling to herself that makes me fear that an apocalypse is coming.
"Have you read it? Have you read this particular issue?" Linkle asked Zelda, pointing at the Seventeen magazine. It was an issue mostly focusing on the do's and don'ts for a girlfriend in a relationship.
"I flipped through it a few times," replied Zelda, wondering why Linkle was so fascinated with the magazine so suddenly. Did the blonde Hylian have a boyfriend? She better not being be coming for Link. Or Champion Link; he's taken as well. Probably.
"So you saw the article on the importance of going on dates, and taking trips around town?" Linkle's eagerness really seemed to suggest that she was very eager in becoming a girlfriend one day. Zelda was unsure what to make of it.
"Of course Zelda saw the article, I saw her reading it, she knows that stuff already," Roy interjected himself into the conversation once more, as Zelda and Linkle gave him the same looks from before. Roy meekly placed his earphone into his ear, as he got up and walked out of the lounge.
"I will be going on a date next week with this guy I met. Would you and Link like to join me, in a double date?" And that was when Zelda's fears were realized. Somehow, somehow, Linkle found herself a significant other...
"That sounds nice!" replied Zelda, easily faking her enthusiasm. She already had her doubts and fears about the date, and Link will have his doubts and fears too.
Link and I would love to go!"
"Great! I can't wait!" Linkle was all smiles, as he ran out of the lounge. Zelda's fake enthusiasm died down, as Midna appeared on the couch next to Zelda, rising up from the couch cushion.
"Sounds like you're gonna have an epic date," the imp said to Zelda, with dripping sarcasm. A double date involving Linkle AND a mystery man was always prone for disaster.
"What have I gotten myself into...?" wondered Zelda, as she held her hand on her forehead. Roy should've been there to talk the princess out of accepting the double date offer.
With Mario pressed for time, the plumber held a very impromptu meeting in the meeting room, inviting everyone in the mansion. Mario even invited Linkle, Lana, and Impa, who were in the mansion already. Adeleine was also asked to attend.
"Thanks-a for coming, you guys," Mario thanked everyone in the meeting room. There was something about the meeting room filling up so quickly that placed a smile on the plumber's face.
"You don't have to thank us for coming in, it's pretty much our civic duty as far as I know," replied Rosalina, stating a sentiment that some might not agree with. Cloud and Ashley certainly come to mind.
"Well I never got thanked-a for coming into a meeting and I always-a wanted to be so I'm gonna thank people." Tell 'em how you really feel, Mario.
"What's with the blanket?" asked Eleonora, paying close attention to the blanket draped over a table at the front of the meeting. Said table was standing next to Mario, with a white board on the other side of him.
"This is what's-a under the blanket..." Mario took the blanket and threw it off, revealing a bunch of various items. Nothing special, nothing really worth oohing and aahing over.
Tom Nook: *glances at his watch* Mario is steadily running out of time...but I know that he can still get the job done. He'll prove why Master Hand was wise choosing him to lead the others.
"These-a are incentives - It's how we're-a gonna double allowances, since Master Hand won't-a do it himself," explained Mario, as the residents felt underwhelmed by some of the incentives provided. "Now, you're probably all-a asking yourselves: 'Well, how does this work?'"
"Seems like a basic reward system where you give us points, and then we redeem those points for prizes," guessed Impa, as Mario smiled, clapped his hands, and pointed at Impa, making the Sheikah feel slightly wary.
"You're exactly right and you get a point!" Mario took out a black marker, and wrote Impa's name on the whiteboard, putting the number one next to her name.
"Don't know how I get a point, but I'll take it..." Impa folded her arms; it didn't appear she wanted to be in on the whole incentive charades.
"Uh, Mario, is that Peach's makeup kit on the table?" Cloud asked, seeing a pink small box as a part of the incentives. The real kicker was the crown logo on the front of the box. "I don't think Peach will appreciate you giving away her stuff."
"You are right-a Cloud...that is indeed Peach's make-a up kit! And it could be all yours one day! Twenty points!" Mario wrote Cloud's name and the number twenty on the whiteboard, as Cloud responded with the only way he knew how - the shaking of his head.
"Quick question: how does one get a point?" asked Mewtwo, raising his hand. The psychic Pokemon was more interested in the incentives than Impa and Cloud were, how about that.
"I've out-a lined the exact parameters in a paper, but Bass' dog Treble tore-a it all up...basically you do a certain thing-a that makes you money, and you get-a points. So, collect fifteen points and redeem-a them for a Teddiursa teddy bear."
"Why is it all kids stuff and Peach's personal belongings?" questioned Samus, as Ridley looked at the bounty hunter and shook his head in agreement. An extremely rare sight if there ever was one. "You're really gonna give Peach's jewelry away?"
"There's lots-a of stuff. Stephanie Meyer, collected-a books, twenty-two points. Or, you can pool-a your points and redeem fifty-five for this maternity shirt I had-a Cappy 'borrow' from a nearby college."
"How about you go to B.D Joe's house, and ask him for money?" suggested Richter. It's underrated how much B.D. Joe helped out Mario and company. "He must be filthy rich if he's got his own private home!"
"This point system is really insulting," remarked Coco, as Ridley nodded his head once more in agreement. So maybe it wasn't that he and Samus were actually starting some chemistry together.
"Well I didn't mean to offend-a you, and I hope you'll forgive-a me because I am very very...Sari," replied Mario, as he pulled a yellow cloth over his shoulder. "Sixteen points."
"That's definitely a tablecloth. Also, that pun really sucked...you could've done so much better."
Coco: Mario has a...rather strong tendency to go off the rails when dealing with adversity, I've noticed. Like, if he has a deadline, he'll try and be funny to lighten up the mood. It's quite honestly one of the saddest things I've ever seen.
"What if we went all the way up to five hundred points?" asked Sora, shooting for the stars. The Keyblade wielder was always doing that, no matter the circumstance.
"That's a crazy amount-a of points," replied Mario, as he placed the Sari...erm, yellow tablecloth, back on the table. "It would be impossible-a to reach!"
"But, what if?" Sora smiled, trying to get Mario thinking. He would succeed, as Mario placed his finger underneath his chin and thought.
"Well, what-a do you want?" the plumber would ask Sora, after he was done thinking.
"I don't know, for such a crazy number I'd like something pretty crazy..." Sora looked around at the others, who were smiling.
"Alright. For five-a hundred points, I will wear Peach's dress around-a public, all day long." A lot of laughter at the possibility of that.
"That's pretty good. What about uh, for a thousand points?"
"I'll run naked through-a the streets with a mush-a room on my extremities." Laughter in the meeting room yet again. "Oh yeah? You like-a that?! Alright! For five thousand points, I will let-a you tattoo whatever you want on-a my BUTT!"
"Really, you'll let us do it?" questioned Yashiro, as the residents found themselves oohing at the tantalizing prospect of Mario having a butt tattoo.
"For real, Mario, are you totally serious?" asked Sora; there was no backing down if Mario said yes.
"As God as-a my witness, I am deadly serious," replied Mario, as his words were now set in stone. "Now everyone, let's-a make some dough!"
"Wait. You did say we could pool our points, right? In that case…let's get some money rolling in, you guys!"
"Yeah, woo!" cheered Dark Pit, leading the way as the residents filed out of the meeting room. Mario sported a nervous grin when everyone left, wondering what he got himself into, as Uka returned to the room to speak with the plumber.
"Thanks for the inspiration, Mario..." the floating mask said to the plumber with a cackle, before leaving the meeting room entirely.
Business was booming at the Smash Mansion, as the residents were determined to make money the best way they could. Sonic and Shaymin were selling chili dogs; Link was selling some leftover Pikachu Cheesesteaks; Ganondorf hosted a yard sale; Jacky offered rides to the public in his car, Wanderlust; and Villager was selling lemonade at a lemonade stand. Never has there been more people at the Smash Mansion than before.
"Here's your lemonade sir, hope you enjoy!" smiled Villager, handing a customer a cup of lemonade after accepting their cash. Once the customer walked away, Villager looked to his right, and saw Rinea at a tent. "Rinea, how's the fortune telling thing coming along?" Villager asked the noblewoman.
"I never knew telling people lies would be so easy!" replied Rinea, holding up a jar of money for Villager to see. Just imagine how much money Wolf made from doing his matchmaking thing for the public. "It's almost an art form..."
"Alright, keep up the good work!" Rinea went back to her tent, as Mario approached Villager, tapping the young lad on his shoulder. "Hey Mario, what's up? Look at the money I've raised!"
"I see, Villager, great-a job..." commended Mario, though he didn't sound that proud; the plumber sounded like he was nervous. "...have you noticed a little bit of a mood-a shift around here?"
"No, I really don't notice anything," replied Villager, as he made yet another lemonade sale. Mario cautiously looked around, seeing Ashley and the Ice Climbers across the street selling non-effective potions and ice cream, respectively, at their stands.
"Really? Because I've known-a Doc Louis for years….and he's usually a pretty chill-a guy. Does nothing but eat-a his chocolate bars. Only time he's-a animated is when Little Mac is involved. Now look at him. He's...he's-a invigorated."
"You've got to unleash the power of the Cube!" Doc Louis said to a customer, as he was helping Mega Man and friends sell the Harmonizer 3000, featured earlier in the episode. Why was the boxing trainer with the robot group?
Doc Louis: If I want to be added to the Smash roster, I would have to take the Team Rocket route - do things I normally wouldn't do in order to gain Master Hand's respect and trust. I'm gonna be a Smash fighter soon, just wait and see!
"Ha, look at Doc Louis going to work over there..." chuckled Bass as he walked by, with Treble at his side. Doc Louis must've asked Bass if he could replace him. "...the guy sure is a handy replacement. Funny thing is, he came up to me! Wasn't the other way around! Sure got me out of trouble!"
"Bass, do you think-a all this hubbub outside has some-a thing to do with-a that incentive program?" Mario asked the robot, who smirked. It was about time the plumber realized the truth.
"Oh, one hundred percent. We all want to see you tattoo your butt."
"Bah…I think people thought-a I was kidding when I said that."
"Nope, you definitely weren't kidding. And that came across loud and clear. Oh, by the way, I want to hand this in." Bass gave Mario a slip of paper that made the plumber's eyes bulge. "Doc Louis is quite the salesman, isn't he?"
"A hundred and-a twenty points?! Mama mia..." Sometimes you reap what you sow.
"Yeah. Huge sales. Don't worry about it though, I don't really care about the points. I just care about seeing the look on your face when you get that tattoo..." Bass patted Mario on the back, walking away as he left the plumber despondent.
"Here's your ten ice cream cones, my friend, enough for the whole family!" shouted Popo, making an ice cream sale, as there was a pile of paper next to him. Lotsa points. Mario got down to the ground in a fetal position, sucking his thumb, as Crash came over and urinated on him. You reap what you sow...
"Enjoy the ice cream cake, you'll fall in love it before you can say 'Wow'!" Nana said to a customer after completing her own sale, before looking towards Mario and giving him two thumbs up, hoping to cheer him up. Didn't work.
"I made those quesadillas with all my heart, so it will break my precious corazón if they're not your taste," Meta Knight was heard nearby making a sale, selling some Mexican food. Getting in touch with his Latino side.
"Who wants some tote bags?" asked Daisy, walking by holding a tote bag; even she was a part of the whole incentives thing! Mario continued to suck away on this thumb, when he looked up and saw Wario standing over him.
"What are you doing?" the plumber asked the fatso, who was on the phone with someone.
"One word: cryptocurrency," replied Wario, walking away and resuming his phone call, as Mario resumed sucking his thumb. While he was doing that, Cappy was a few feet away speaking with someone on Mario's cellphone.
"Hi sir, Cappy here," Cappy introduced himself, speaking into the phone as he observed all that was going on. "I've read your book before, about management, and I have a quick question about a missing chapter...on de-incentivizing. Got a friend here who's stuck in this butt tattoo incentive situation, and I was wondering what kind of strategies you have..."
The residents all pulled in a lot of points, and now it was time to tally them up. Impa, Lana, and Linkle tallied all the points together in the meeting room, while Mario stood at the doorway, mean mugging everyone.
The grand total? Five. Thousand. Points. And with that point total, the residents surely raised more than enough money to pay off that second mortgage. But if not..
Mario: One day...took 'em one-a day.
Presenting the tattoo designs would be Kirby's friend (not girlfriend) Adeleine, who was pegged to come up with some designs. So much for speaking in private with Kirby.
"Alright, Smeargle, show us what you got!" Lana said to the painter Pokemon, who flipped a page on his sketch pad to show a tattoo design to everyone in the meeting room. The design earned a laugh from the residents.
"I'm not as think as you dumb I am', nice!" grinned Jacky, nodding his head as Mario banged his head against the meeting room door. What did he get himself into...
"I like it, I like it very much!" K.K. Slider offered his opinion on the design. "Very groovy! Show us the next one!" Smeargle flipped the page, revealing yet another tattoo design.
"'Do Not Resuscitate'..." Polar Bear read the tattoo, as the others laughed and giggled. "...that's gonna look real good on Mario's hiney!"
"OK, keep-a in mind, it's not too late to choose-a another prize and there are some-a great new additions," Mario spoke up, trying to get everyone's attention but to no avail. "My car, for a thousand points...or best-a offer."
"C'mon Smeargle, show us what else you got!" implored Paula, as Mario snapped his fingers in disgust and deserted the meeting room. Lana took out a piece of paper, which might have a tattoo design on it.
"This next design actually came from Dark Samus, of all people...she drew it herself," explained Lana, as she turned the paper around for everyone to see. There was a tattoo design, and it resulted in shocked cheers.
"Oh my, Dark Samus, you shouldn't have!" remarked Mr. Game and Watch, now wanting to know what Dark Samus' thought process was like.
Having decided on a tattoo design for Mario's butt, Lana and a few select residents would take Mario to a tattoo parlor in town, so the plumber could face the inevitable. Peach would come along, to provide moral support for her man. Believe it or not, it was Lloyd who found the tattoo parlor in the first place.
"I accidentally found this tattoo parlor on Yelp, sadly," the swordsman explained, leading the group to the tattoo parlor in question. The parlor was called "Aensland Tattoo Studio"...does the name ring a bell, in some way. "You see what happened was, I got catfished online, and I didn't even know about it until I got spyware on the computer, and..."
"Save that story for another day," said Impa, who wanted to see Mario get a tattoo the most, as Lloyd led the group inside the tattoo parlor. Like any tattoo parlor, the studio resembled a barbershop, and had many different tattoo designs framed all over the walls.
But what grabbed Mario and company's attention the most were the three workers present at the parlor - two succubi, one with long, green hair, and the other with short, purple hair; and a blue-haired catgirl. The catgirl was busy licking her paws, when she looked up once the bell rang after the front door opened.
"Look alive ladies, we got some customers!" the catgirl exclaimed, as the succubi, who were seated in the black chairs of the tattoo parlor, looked up and smiled when they saw Mario and company.
"Hello, cuties - Morrigan, Lilith, and Felicia, at your service!" the green-haired succubus introduced herself to Mario and company, making Mario feel uneasy. The Darkstalkers trio apparently owned a tattoo parlor in town, and Mario had every right to feel afraid.
Morrigan: Why did we start a tattoo parlor? *thinks* It was just in our nature, you know? We do seem like the kind of gals that would be doing tattoos, don't you think so Lilith?
Lilith: I guess so, but I'm more interested in blood... *smiles* ...but you can draw blood from doing tattoos. It's always expected.
Morrigan: See, Lilith, that's the spirit! We were meant for this! This is our dream jobs!
Felicia: *sighs* It was me who got the tattoo parlor up and running. I was scared that the Aenslands wouldn't know what to do without me! We've only been open for a week and a half, and I'm surprised we haven't been shut down yet...
"So, which one of you lovelies is getting a tattoo?" asked Lilith, as everyone pointed at Mario. "Ooh, a tattoo for Mario? This should be deliciously fun..." Lilith's devious smile didn't make Mario feel any better.
"We were hoping you could do something like this…" Adeleine showed the tattoo design to Lilith, Morrigan, and Felicia, as the three ladies pulled their heads closer to the sketch pad. They all had inquisitive faces.
"So, coming out of his butt is a…" Morrigan started, as she furrowed her brow.
"...a baby," Adeleine would finish for the succubus, as Mario gulped loudly.
"A baby tattoo...on Mario's backside..." said Felicia, unsure what to make of the design. Or its placement.
"Exactly." Morrigan, Lilith, and Felicia looked at one another, before smiling.
"Yeah, no problem, I can do it," offered Lilith; of the three tattoo artists, Lilith was the one Mario least preferred.
"We should think about this…" Mario said to the others, wanting to get himself out of the mess he got himself in. "...does anyone have any better ideas?"
"I like what we have," replied Simon, who was now officially dead to Mario.
"Looks good," added Lucina, who was also officially dead to Mario.
"For sure," added Heihachi, the third person to be officially dead to Mario.
"Just need a second out-a side..." announced Mario, walking out of the tattoo parlor. Peach would follow after the plumber.
Knowing how Mario was acting prior to arriving at the tattoo parlor, Peach expected Mario to be resting his head against the tattoo parlor window, even banging his head until the window broke. Instead, Mario was pacing back and forth, juggling his fists like he was getting ready to fight Hulk Hogan and Andre the Giant at the same time.
"Getting psyched up, I assume?" Peach asked Mario, watching her husband pacing in front of the tattoo parlor. "Look, Mario, nobody really expects you to go through with this…"
"What am I even-a doing here?" Mario asked his wife, stopping his constant pacing. He looked down at the ground, shaking his head. "I don't-a know what I'm doing."
"Do you like it? You having fun?" Mario looked up at Peach, unsure how he should answer her question. "I'll tell you what, everybody else is having a lot of fun….and you did that. "
"My posterior is only so-a small, I can't do this-a everyday. My body can-a handle so much..."
"Well, it might be small, but...it's big enough to buy you some time till your next great idea. Which I'm dying to see."
"No one expects-a me to go through with this, right?"
"Absolutely not." Instilled with a strong confidence, Mario proudly smiled, following after Peach...
...as the plumber proudly marched his way back inside the tattoo parlor, to the table that Lilith and friends had prepared specifically for him. Mario got on the bed, ready to take on the challenge.
"Let's-a ink…my stink!" the plumber shouted, as the group of residents cheered in response. Well, everyone save for Cloud. Why was he here?
Mario: My heart belongs-a to Peach and Jennifer...but my butt belongs-a to these people. PEOPLE POWER! *raises fist in the air*
Cloud: Aerith had to stay behind and tend to the flowers, so she wanted me to record Mario while he's getting his tattoo. Have no idea why Aerith would want to see such a video, but as a boyfriend, I can only do what she says, and not complain.
Mario took off his overalls - since he seldom wore pants - and then took off his boxers, as he laid on the table. Some residents had to shield their eyes.
"C'mon girl, do-a your worst!" Mario shouted to Lilith, who was reluctant to do the tattoo with Mario's butt shining in her face.
"Uh, you can keep your boxers on, actually…" stated Lilith, as Morrigan and Felicia were standing a distance away, faces full of disgust. "if just drop 'em down a bit, that'd be great."
"They are already off-a ma'am, nothing you can-a do about it."
"We'd really prefer that you have them on..." stated Felicia, one of the few individuals shielding her eyes.
"Well, I think this-a is better. Sweating pretty heavily down-a there."
"Do you think you could work from this?" Adeleine approached Lilith, bringing her sketch pad with her and showing the succubus the tattoo design. "We made some small adjustments."
"Okay, so you want me to..." Lilith started, as she took a closer look at the newly adjusted tattoo design.
"Just a few adjustments," Adeleine replied with a smile, gently placing the sketch pad on the table for Lilith to use as a reference before walking away.
"Alright, let's begin." Lilith took out a tattoo pen machine, looking for a great spot to place the tattoo on Mario's butt.
"This is where I grin-a and be - YOW OW!" Mario spoke, before yelping in pain when Lilith he felt a sharp, painful tingling session on his buttocks.
"That was just the cotton swab," stated Morrigan, as Mario started panting in relief. Thought he was a world of hurt. "Just some pre-tattoo procedure!"
"Tell Lilith to invest-a in some softer cotton..." After Lilith was done with the cotton swab, it was time for the tattooing to begin. The succubus applied the tattoo pen machine to Mario's butt, and the plumber screamed in pain. "OW! Oh! Oooh! Yowie!" The only thing that was louder than Mario's screams of pain was the sound of the residents (save for Cloud) cheering on for Mario.
Pit: Obviously you can go the butt tattoo route and obviously, I'm gonna like it.
"That's right Lilith, draw some blood!" cheered Pit, pumping his fist in the air as Mario continued to scream in pain. As Pit cheered on, he saw Morrigan peering over him, making the angel feel some type of way.
"Hello precious..." Morrigan drew closer to Pit, stroking his chest with her fingers as Pit began to sweat. "You're not taken...are you?" Good thing Viridi wasn't around to see this.
"I-I...I have to use the restroom!" responded Pit, as he ran away from Morrigan. The succubus smiled, watching the angel run as far away as he could.
Tom Nook: Why did Master Hand choose Mario to be the man of the mansion? I think it's simple, really - Mario is the greatest everyman of all everymen. He might look simple in appearance and manner, but underneath his simplicity rests a never-say-die man, who never throws in the white flag. He's the kind of guy people would look up to, and fight for.
Once the tattoo session was over with, it was time for Mario to show his tattoo off to the whole world...or for now, to his friends and Peach. With everyone gathered outside the tattoo parlor, Mario carefully tore the tape off of his butt, revealing his baby self riding atop Yoshi...crying. Some residents clapped and cheered.
"Look, it's-a me, when I was a baby!" the plumber exclaimed, as Yoshi blushed. Never in a million years would the dinosaur expect to find himself imprinted on the butt of someone he pretty much babysat. "I like it!"
"Yeah, that's good, now will you please put your overalls back on?" pleaded Yoshi, not wanting to feel any more embarrassed than he already did.
Tom Nook: There's something about an everyman that really inspires…the extraordinary.
