Author's Note:
For those of you who expected this chapter to pay homage to Starlink, which was released earlier in the week...well, you thought wrong. This chapter will instead pay tribute to a game being ported to the Switch, featuring a highly popular character from that series. You'll see who it is eventually. For now, we must get through a few guest reviews:
"Will the Disgaea characters show up soon? (Since the remake just recently came out) will you include a scene of Pandoria from Xenoblade 2 interacting with Tails? (Ryo Hirohashi voices both of them) is Kanji from Persona 4 using his Troy Baker or Matt Mercer voice? Can you include a scene of Kiddy Kong causing problems in the mansion when he arrives? (Maybe have Pauline babysit him) and finally, what are your thoughts on the Tales games getting a new producer and what Tales game do you wish to see get a remake or remaster?"
Disgaea characters will appear soon. I will include the Pandoria scene. Kanji is using his Matt Mercer voice. Kiddy Kong will be quite a nuisance when he makes his Smash Life debut. And I don't really have any strong opinions on the new Tales producer...though I would like to see Tales of Symphonia get a remake. Or has it been remade already? They should just remake the first game, Tales of Phantasia. On to El Pollo Campero:
"So the hand has dancing shoes now. Is this leading to a musical chapter where everyone sings songs from broadway for no reason? Also, LINK MY MAN WILL YOU PROPOSE?"
A musical chapter, which would be hard for me to do, is still on the table. When will Link propose to Zelda? I won't say, but it will happen before story's end. Whenever that is...
Episode 148: Sunlight
Dark Pit had a lot on his plate, being the secondary groundskeeper of the mansion. That was something already expected from the doppelganger, when he first had the job. Maintaining the utilities of the mansion was always a daunting task, but at least Mr. Game and Watch was always around when necessary.
In addition to having a lot on his plate, Dark Pit also had two girls on his mind. One of those girls was Flora, a maid the doppelganger was spending time with last episode to "rework" their chemistry. And the other girl..was Lilith.
As you already know, Lilith was a succubus working at a relatively new tattoo parlor in town. Her sister, Morrigan, was seen flirting with Pit, and harbored a crush on the angel as a result. This was further exemplified when Pit showed Dark Pit a love letter he had received from the green-haired succubus. And Dark Pit, he also received a love letter...from Lilith.
Not wanting Flora to find out about the crush Lilith has on him, Dark Pit did his best to keep the secret under wraps, under the fear that Flora might be devastated. The doppelganger hanged out in the garden shed - where his and Mr. Game and Watch's groundskeeping tools usually were - when Volnutt stepped inside, opening the door.
"Oh man, what do I do, what do I do..." worried Dark Pit, his face buried in his hands. Volnutt looked at the doppelganger with concern, never seeing Dark Pit so easily upset before.
"Um, Dark Pit, how long have you been in this garden shed?" the robot asked the doppelganger, standing in the doorway. "Mr. Game and Watch has been looking all over for you. He's called your name a few times, even."
"Tell Mr. GW that I'm out of commission until I find a way out of the mess I'm in..." Volnutt refused to see Dark Pit this upset - to him, seeing the doppelganger act in such a way was unnatural, inhumane even. Something clearly had to be done.
Dark Pit: Lilith sent me another love letter, and this time she actually put her name at the bottom of the letter. No way Flora's ever gonna see it. But what if this keeps up, what if Lilith keeps sending me those stupid letters - what if Flora somehow gets her hands on one?! I'd be done for...
"C'mon, let's get you out of here, you need some sunlight," said Volnutt, as he forcibly dragged Dark Pit out of the shed against the doppelganger's will. As Volnutt drug Dark Pit out of the shed, Pit appeared, carrying a paddle ball.
"Hey Dark Pit, whatcha doing, playing hide and seek with Volnutt?" the angel asked the doppelganger, feeling bitter that he was left out. No game of hide and seek would ever involve the person being it dragging someone out of their hiding spot. That is, unless that person was a psychopath.
"We're not playing hide and seek Pit - I'm just taking Dark Pit here to Mr. Game and Watch," explained Volnutt, as Dark Pit tried to stunt the robot's process by grabbing the grass. Didn't work. "He was hiding in the shed for no reason."
"I was hiding in the shed because I'm a no-good dork who can't even handle his personal problems well..." stated Dark Pit, now feeling helpless as Volnutt dragged him away. Good thing Flora wasn't around to see, that would hurt the doppelganger's confidence.
"...like I said, he was hiding in the shed for no reason. Obviously he can't stay in there forever." Pit stroked his chin, wondering what "personal problems" Dark Pit could be having, and that's when it struck him.
"Aha, I know why Dark Pit's sad - it's because that Lilith girl has a crush on him!" Dark Pit gave Pit an angry look - evidently this was secret information only meant to be kept between the two. "Lilith sent a letter to Dark Pit in the mail this week."
"Pit you stupid idiot, I thought we both agreed to not make mention of Lilith to anyone!" frowned Dark Pit; a guy like him should know that Pit is very untrustworthy when it comes to keeping secrets. Just then, Mr. Game and Watch showed up, relieved.
"There you are, Dark Pit, I've been looking all over for you!" the 2-D man exclaimed, waltzing over to the doppelganger who had his face buried in his hands. "Thanks for finding him, Volnutt. Was he in the garden shed?"
"Yes sir, and he didn't want to be bothered," replied Volnutt, as he helped Dark Pit up to his feet. The doppelganger was now glaring at Pit, unable to forgive him for name-dropping Lilith. "If what Pit said was any indication, Dark Pit was hiding in the shed because a girl has a crush on him. What did you say her name was, Pit?"
"Lilith, some demon chick from the tattoo parlor where Mario got his tattoo," responded Pit; the name Lilith rang a bell to Mr. Game and Watch, who tried to remember what Lilith looked like.
"The one with the short hair, correct?" the 2-D man asked Pit, who his head. Dark Pit couldn't believe the mess Pit created. "Yeah, I remember her! Her and Morrigan, her sister. And that cat lady whose name I forgot."
"Alright, alright, the truth is out, a succubus girl has a crush on me, we all know now..." said Dark Pit, wanting everyone to immediately forgot what was discussed. "...now can we please put this whole thing to bed, before it boils over?"
"Yes Dark Pit, we will put the whole thing to bed...and you're gonna be the one to do it." Mr. Game and Watch pointed at Dark Pit, who looked pretty confused.
"What do you mean, I'll be the one to do it? You don't mean...I have to confront Lilith straight up, do you?" Dark Pit shuddered to think how a meeting with Lilith would go down.
"Oh I'm afraid so...it's best to deal with your problem head-on, rather than just sit around and let it grow even bigger. You and Pit will go to that tattoo parlor, and tell Lilith the truth - that you're not interested in her, and that you're looking for other people...you can mention Flora, if you want."
"We can kill two stones while we're at the parlor," stated Pit, who had some business to take care of with his own admirer, Morrigan. "Sounds like a great plan!"
Mr. Game and Watch: It was a pretty huge shocker to see Flora dump Dark Pit during Berkut and Rinea's wedding after party, out of flipping nowhere, but I'm glad to see the two reconnecting and getting back together. As for me, I'm still waiting for Malva to give me the green light...granted it would work better the other way around, but I wanna see what Malva's all about, you know?
"Don't come back to the mansion until you've settled things with Lilith for good," Mr. Game and Watch ordered Dark Pit, who never really got along well with authority. Save for Master Hand. "Do I make myself clear?"
"I'm gonna probably regret doing this, but whatever," sighed Dark Pit, as he walked away and got into flight formation. "Pit, get your butt over here!"
"On it!" chirped Pit, as he joined Dark Pit and got into flight formation. At the same time, the angel and the doppelganger took flight, flying off to the tattoo parlor to deal with Lilith. And Morrigan, too.
With Dark Pit off to deal with Lilith, who would be the third person to mess with King Dedede? The doppelganger informed Fox and Falco in the last episode that he wanted to be the part of the pilot's King Dedede-related charades, but now there was a void to be filled. Fox and Falco would just have to keep on keeping on.
The pilots would have King Dedede continue to pursue Impa, but decided against it because they knew that it in the end, Impa would kill Dedede outright. So they both agreed to have the penguin chase after another girl. One that wouldn't be tempted to kill him.
"Whaddaya mean, Impa found herself a boyfriend?!" a distressed King Dedede asked Fox and Falco, as the three were gathered outside the fitness center. Fox and Falco had to give Dedede a legit reason why Impa was off the menu.
"Some Sheikah dude had a chance encounter with Impa, and it was love at first sight," explained Fox, seeing how depressed King Dedede was. Made the fox feel a little sad himself. "Nothing you can do to stop that."
"But fortunately for you, there's still a few single ladies lurking about for you to claim," stated Falco, looking on the brighter side of things, as King Dedede lifted up his face with a smile. "Like Wii Fit Trainer, for example."
"The same lady I had a make-out session with?" asked King Dedede, recalling the one time Yoshi made a Dedede-Wii Fit pairing an actual thing. The make-out session was still in the penguin's memory banks.
"Correctamundo - I'm sure Wii Fit has all but forgotten that moment, while it's still ripe in your brain. So everything should work out according to plan."
"What we want you to, is to go inside the fitness center, and impress Wii Fit with your athletic ability," Fox instructed King Dedede, who was ready to show Wii Fit what he was made of. "Wii Fit won't go out with a guy who can't do a single push-up."
"Show off my athletic ability, easier done than said!" grinned an over-confident King Dedede, marching triumphantly into the fitness center. "Wii Fit will be so impressed, that she'll be taking fitness advice from ME!"
King Dedede: I already consider myself to be the most athletic brawler around - I can fly fifteen meters without a single breath, and I'm strong enough to lift up Bowser with just my right hand...What, that doesn't count as being athletic? What would a bunch of toothpick-looking losers like yourselves know about true athleticism?! You're all lactose-intolerant, or something?!
King Dedede went from marching triumphantly to strutting his stuff, as his eyes were locked on his target, Wii Fit Trainer. The fitness guru was providing some pointers to Gil, who was actually working out for once. Good for him, stepping out of his comfort one.
"Another thing I would advise you to do is to always hold unto the handrails, in the event you lose your balance," Wii Fit told Gil, as she was doing sit-ups on the floor. "Also, always run at the same pace - switching up the pace might affect your heartbeat."
"No wonder I kept slipping up on the treadmill, it all makes sense now..." remarked Gil, who had a few bruises and scars on his face. Must be a very mistake-prone runner. "Thanks for the info, Wii...Fit?"
"You are most welcome, Gil!" smiled Wii Fit, only for her smile to fade away when she looked up, and saw why Gil had trailed off at the end of his sentence. There in the fitness center was King Dedede, who was doing squats, or at least trying to. Can't do squats when you have no legs.
"King Dedede, are you in serious pain?" Gil inferred, taking a close look at Dedede's questionable form. The face on the penguin didn't make things better; it just made Dedede look constipated. "Need some help?"
"No thanks Gil, I'm just...showing off my athleticism..." replied King Dedede, sweating profusely with his eyes closed. He opened his eyes and saw Wii Fit, not impressed in the slightest. "Didn't like that, huh? Lemme switch up my routine!"
King Dedede stopped his squats (or the lack thereof), and moved on to doing jumping jacks. Granted, the jumping jacks were easier than squats - only problem was that Dedede couldn't extend his feet as far as he wanted to. They were so small and close together...
"Oh miss-a Leia, I need-a some more aspirin pills!" asked Dr. Mario as he entered the fitness center with an empty medicine bottle. He stopped in place, confused, when he saw King Dedede doing jumping jacks.
"Twenty one, twenty two, twenty five, twenty six..." panted King Dedede, clearly losing his count. The sudden exhaustion must be deep frying his brain. Time to switch it up. "Two, four, six, eight, who do you appreciate?"
"Definitely not-a you..." replied Dr. Mario, awkwardly inching past King Dedede before making a mad dash to Leia's office. He had seen enough.
"That question wasn't addressed to you, Mario...it was for Wii Fit Trainer!" Wii Fit looked at King Dedede in bewilderment, wondering why the penguin was determined to impress her. She didn't see anything from the king that deserved to be appreciated
Dr. Mario: Yes, King Dedede did-a say that he wanted to lose-a some weight. But I think he has-a the wrong intentions. And-a improper form.
"If I were you, I'd run outta here in an instant," Gil said to Wii Fit, once King Dedede was finished with his jumping jacks. The penguin was exuding enough sweat to fill up the entire Pacific Ocean.
"So Wii Fit, whaddaya think, very impressive huh?" King Dedede asked the fitness trainer, smiling proudly from ear to ear. Wii Fit, furrowing her brow, cocked her head to the side.
"Was I supposed to be impressed?" asked Wii Fit, as King Dedede's smile faded. The penguin must truly be delusional if he expected a different answer.
"Playing hard to get, I see...really digging your style. I'll get you later, though." King Dedede winked at Wii Fit and pointed at her, and was still pointing as he left the fitness center.
"'Playing hard to get'..." Wii Fit became a little worried when she realized what King Dedede meant by that phrase. Should've followed Gil's advice.
"Well Dedede, how did it go?" Fox asked the penguin, after he left the fitness center; King Dedede's face went from charismatic to despondent, in an instant.
"Wii Fit didn't even seem that interested in me..." the penguin sighed, before lifting his head up, wearing confidence on his face. "...but you know what? Maybe I should ask our favorite Sheikah about her 'boyfriend'! I doubt he even exists!"
"Nice job Fox, look at what you did..." Falco said to his friend, as King Dedede darted away from the fitness center. Fox and Falco were left with no choice but to chase down the penguin.
Another week has gone by, and Robin still had yet to speak directly to his future children, Morgan and Marc. Lucina didn't understand why the mage was acting so distant, and Chrom didn't understand either. It was hard for either of them to wrap their head around.
Wanting to get to the bottom of this, Chrom asked Link and Cloud to have a word with Robin. The two swordsmen would find Robin by himself, in the arcade room, sitting on an empty barstool chair with his tome.
"Explain to me why Chrom just couldn't have Marth do this," Cloud said to Link, once they were inside the arcade room. Morgan and Marc were descendants of Marth, though Marth goes way back in the family tree.
"Because Marth is only an ancestor of the twins, so him reasoning with Robin wouldn't have any effect," explained Link, like he was extremely knowledgeable about the whole twins situation. "Which is why we're taking his place for him.
"But we're not family though, so what's the point?" Look at that Cloud, trying to use logic and reason to diagnose the situation...two things that will hardly get him anywhere in today's society.
"Does it look like this plan was my idea? We're just being friendly good guys. That's what we're meant to do, doing what is good. It's a part of our job descriptions, man...well, unofficially, anyways."
Cloud: Who knew that being a good guy could be so tedious and pointless sometimes...
"Yeah, whatever, let's just get this over with," Cloud said, as he and Link walked over to Robin. "I got some stuff to take care of today."
Robin, all by himself, was reading through his tome in his spare time, when he looked up and saw Link and Cloud. All of a sudden, the mage didn't appear so lonely anymore, now that he had company.
"Ah, Link and Cloud, here to alleviate my solitude!" smiled Robin, who went from lonely to happy in an instant. That happiness should be taken with a grain of salt. "Care to join me in reading the tome? We'll take turns passing around the book!"
"Nobody cares about your crappy tome, Robin," replied Cloud, leaving the mage offended. Robin usually treated his tome like it was a newborn baby. "We just wanted to ask you a quick question, if you don't mind."
"A quick question, about what?" After a few seconds, Robin frowned, when he developed a suspicion for why Link and Cloud were here. "It's about those twins, Morgan and Marc, isn't it? Well, I don't want anything to do with them."
"No Robin, it's just a small question, no harm done," Link said to the mage, who angrily got up from his chair and stormed out of the arcade room. "We just wanted to know...which twin is the oldest one of the two!"
"Nice try Link, but I see what you and Cloud are trying to do. Asking me unnecessary questions about my personal life...I know for a fact Lucina put you both up to it. Her or Chrom." Robin left the arcade room for good, his anger brewing.
"So what do we do now?" Cloud asked Link, who had no answers as he shrugged. "What an absolute waste of our time..."
At the Smash Mansion, everyone had a specialty. The Ice Climbers specialized in frozen treats. Ashley specialized in making potions. And the Black Knight specialized in making tea - and also tea parties.
The Black Knight was hosting yet another tea party, this one involving Shulk and Fiora. Riki was a third wheel during this party, and he was practically driving the Black Knight insane.
"Riki wants more tea, Riki wants more scones as well!" the Nopon ordered from the Black Knight, banging on the knight's armored head with his staff. "Give Riki what he wants!"
"I'm literally pouring you your FOURTH cup of tea, how much more do you want?!" barked the Black Knight, pouring up some tea for the very demanding Riki. Never has the knight dealt with a more frustrating party guest.
"Don't talk back to Riki, or you will face Riki's fury! Give Riki more tea, and more scones! That's an order from Riki!"
"See Fiora, this is exactly why letting Riki be a party of our tea party was a bad idea..." Shulk whispered to Fiora, as Zelda entered the room with the mansion's house phone. She saw the Black Knight being whacked by Riki, and kept her distance.
"Um, Black Knight...someone on the phone wants to speak with you," the princess told the knight, who momentarily looked up. "It's Shovel Knight."
"Shovel Knight?!" the Black Knight immediately dropped the tea kettle unto the table, wasting tea as he ran over to Zelda and snatched the phone. "Hello? Shovel Knight? Yes, it's me, Black Knight...of course, I didn't forget! I'll get everything situated soon. See you later." The Black Knight ended the call, handing the phone back to Zelda.
"What was that all about, what did Shovel Knight want?" Fiora asked the Black Knight, as Riki grabbed the tea kettle and poured the remaining contents into his mouth.
"Shovel Knight called me about a tea party he had reserved," the Black Knight responded; you can make reservations for tea parties now? "A tea party involving him, and a new friend he made."
Black Knight: It's possible for one to reserve a tea party, with yours truly...it's just that people don't reserve them as often as I want them to. Kinda tells you about their lack of preparation. Which is dismal. As for Shovel Knight's new friend, all I can say is that from what I've heard from Shovel Knight, the friend is some guy who practically worships the sun. He must have a pretty terrible social life.
Snake resented having Bayonetta as a roommate, and that much was a fact. The former spy didn't like how the Umbra Witch was always flirting with him, and doting him about his mom and dad, whom the former spy both despised. Whenever he wanted a break from Bayonetta, Snake would head down to the living room, and watch some television in peace.
As he was watching TV, something happened with the television signal, leaving Snake to mend the problem himself. The former spy was calibrating the television with the TV remote, as Pikachu entered the living room.
"Dang it, the TV remote's running out of battery..." muttered Snake, as Pikachu paid close attention to a note lying on the living room floor. "...there should be some double A batteries lying around somewhere."
"Pika pika!" Pikachu alerted Snake, pointing to the note lying on the floor. Snake looked down, and saw the note, quickly picking it up.
"Thanks Pikachu. Dumb note must have fell out of my pocket...or at least where my pocket should be. Why they never gave these suits pockets, I will never understand..."
"Pika pi?" Pikachu asked, inquiring about the note. Snake noticed the interested peaked in Pikachu, as he took a brief look at the note in his hand.
"Oh yeah, this is a note I was supposed to show to Dark Pit. It has a threatening message on it, but it's directed at someone other than him. I don't know if your ears are able to tolerate the maliciousness of the note."
"Pika pika pi!" Pikachu proved that no message was too malicious for him, as he proudly folded his arms. This left a great impression on Snake, who found himself smiling at Pikachu's bravado.
"Aw yeah, that's what I like to see! Good to see a cute critter like yourself tolerate this kind of stuff. Alright, here we go..." Snake cleared his throat, as he began to read the note...
With Shovel Knight and his friend expected to arrive at any minute, Shulk and Fiora were forced to cancel their tea party prematurely. The two Homs, along with Zelda and Aerith, were helping the Black Knight get things situated for the tea party involving Shovel Knight and his friend.
"Don't know about you guys, but I'm a little interested in meeting Shovel Knight's friend," Aerith said to the others, expecting the knight's friend to be a knight of some sort. Or maybe a member of a royal throne.
"I actually feel the same way too, Aerith," replied Shulk, as he was tidying up the tablecloth. Sonic would enter the room, and for some reason, he had a pained look on his face. Shulk looked up, seeing the bothered hedgehog. "Thanks for escorting Riki for us, Sonic!"
"Yeah, don't mention it..." muttered Sonic, as he trudged over to the nearest chair and slumped into it. "...had no idea Riki was such a high maintenance guy..."
Sonic: Riki was so darn annoying, that he almost drew me to the point of suicide ten seconds after Shulk and Fiora threw him on me. Given what I've endured, I can see why they did that. Lesson learned - always beware the cute ones. *pauses* ...did I just call Riki "cute"? *shudders*
"I mean, the guy can't even speak in correctly grammatical sentences, and is just as hyperactive as a toddler on a sugar rush!" complained Sonic, the only person in the room not doing any work. That was Sonic, for ya. "Just how old is Riki, anyway?"
"He happens to be in his forties," replied Fiora, as Sonic gave the Homs a very shocked look. "And he also has six kids. Or eleven. We've spent a long time disputing how many offspring he has."
"Those poor, poor kids..." As Sonic spent the next few moments sympathizing for Riki's children, the Black Knight looked out the window, waiting for his tea party guests to arrive. He would soon see B.D. Joe pull up to the mansion's driveway on his taxi, with two armored men riding in the backseat.
"Shovel Knight and friend spotted at three o' clock!" the Black Knight alerted the others, as Sonic yawned. "Pick up the pace people! Move it, move it!"
"Yeah, you guys go pick up the pace, while I take a nap..." Sonic yawned yet again, as he fell asleep in his chair - which was one of the chairs near the table. Somebody oughta wake up the hedgehog, before the tea party began.
After getting his bottle of aspirin refilled by Leia - who wondered why the doctor even needed such a bottle in the first place - Dr. Mario returned to house, reverting back to, well, Mario. The plumber was watering some plants in the living room with FLUDD, when someone knocked on the door.
"Princess-a Peach, can you answer the door?" Mario called out to his wife, who exited the nursery; she was feeding Jennifer, through a milk bottle.
"Why can't you do it, you're closer to the door than I am," said Peach, but Mario was too reluctant to move a single muscle. Despite being five feet away from the front door.
"These plants-a can't water themselves, you know. Besides, this one plant-a is dying, almost on its last-a breath. And before-a you say, 'Well you haven't watered that plant since forever!', let me tell-a you something..."
"If neither of you are going to answer the door, then I'll just have to do it myself..." sighed Impa, walking out of the kitchen and to the front door. When she opened the door, she saw someone she didn't want to see...King Dedede.
"Hey Impa, you aren't busy, are you?" the penguin asked the Sheikah, who was disgusted to see the king of Dream Land for a second consecutive week. "Promise you I won't make you feel uncomfortable this time!"
Impa: What King Dedede pulled off last week was one of the more annoying moments in my life. Not only did that stupid bird flirt with me, but he winked at me, which was a cherry on top of the discomfort I felt. Had he blown me a kiss, I can guarantee you it would have been his final moment on this earth.
"Make it snappy, I usually refrain from having conversations with your kind," ordered Impa, willing to give King Dedede a chance since he wasn't as exuberant as he was last week. But the Sheikah still felt pretty uneasy.
"It won't be long - I just wanted to talk about your Sheikah boyfriend," stated King Dedede, as Impa's eyes widened. This was definitely news to her ears. "Word out is that you found a boyfriend from the Sheikah tribe. I just wanna know..."
"I have a boyfriend...from the Sheikah tribe?!" Impa raised her voice, but not enough to alarm Jennifer and make her cry. Peach took Jennifer back to the nursery room, as a precaution. "Lana, what did I tell you about spreading false rumors and gossip about me?!"
"Wow, Impa, I didn't know-a you had a boyfriend!" exclaimed Mario, believing in the lie Fox and Falco fed to King Dedede, as Lana meekly stepped out of her room and into the living room. "Had-a no idea you got around like that!"
"Shut up or I'll make Jennifer a fatherless child..." Impa threatened Mario, who kept his mouth shut and went back to watering the plants. The Sheikah then turned to Lana, wanting an answer out of the blunette.
"I didn't spread any gossip about you being in love, I promise!" Lana pleaded her case to Impa, not wanting to come face-to-face with the Sheikah's fury. "Linkle must've started the rumor, not me!"
"I'm sorry if I alarmed you, Impa," apologized King Dedede, feeling very apologetic after seeing the mayhem he had caused. "This was...a very inappropriate time to ask you about your boyfriend. Please forgive me."
"Don't you EVER, in your life, inquire about my personal life ever again," Impa ordered King Dedede, getting all up in his grill to stress the importance of her demand. "Do I make myself clear?"
"Yes ma'am, yes ma'am, YES MA'AM!" King Dedede repeated, nodding his head over and over again. Was he still sure that Impa was a tamer version of Samus?
"Good. Now leave, if you truly value your well-being." King Dedede did as he was told, leaving Mario's house in a snap as Impa closed the front door. Talk about a very close call.
King Dedede: As of now, I still don't know if Impa really has a boyfriend or not...but she was pretty angry when I asked her about it, so she definitely must have one. You can tell if a person's hiding something by how emotional or passionate they are.
King Dedede stood outside Mario's house, huffing and puffing. He did far too much running than expected. Watching the penguin from afar was Fox and Falco, standing on the mansion's porch.
"I thought we told him that Impa was off the market, did we not?" Fox asked Falco, who hoped that the fib the pilots made up was convincing enough to King Dedede. "Unless Dedede saw through it."
"Maybe he just wanted to hear it from Impa herself," assumed Falco, as King Dedede collapsed to the ground, on his back. "Takes a lot of courage to talk with Impa about her personal life."
The tea party was all set up - the table and chairs were in place, along with the glasses and plates. Only issue was that Sonic was still sleeping in the chair, unshaken.
"I thought you were supposed to get Sonic out of that chair!" Fiora whispered to Shulk, the two Homs standing with the Black Knight and Aerith. Zelda was on the lookout for Shovel Knight and his friend.
"I tried to, but he wouldn't budge!" Shulk whispered back, as Fiora found her boyfriend's excuse unbelievable. "He kept fighting back and everything!" Zelda, who was peeking through the door, soon retracted her head.
"They're here!" the princess announced, running away from the door so she could join the others. Sonic was still asleep in the chair, sleeping rather peacefully.
"Okay everyone, look alive!" commanded the Black Knight, as his compadres looked...well, normal. To the Black Knight, presentation mattered.
A couple of seconds later, the door opened as two armored knights entered the room, one short and one tall. The short knight was obviously Shovel Knight, who couldn't help but bring his trusty shovel with him. It was the tall knight that grabbed everyone's attention; he had on white armor, with a sun insignia on his chest plate. And his shield.
"Great tidings, denizens of the Smash Mansion!" greeted Shovel Knight, waving his shovel in the air as a greeting sign. "'Tis I, Shovel Knight, though thou hast known that already...but, I've brought a great friend, one I've befriended some time ago...would thou care to introduce thyself, friend?"
"Gladly, the opportunity is mine," the tall knight spoke, speaking in a very friendly and calm manner. "I am Solaire of Astora, an adherent of the Lord of Sunlight." After Solaire introduced himself, a poignant trumpet solo was heard, as the Black Knight and company looked around wondering where it came from. It was loud enough to wake up Sonic from his slumber.
"Woah, what was that?" the blue blur wondered, nearly falling out of his chair. He looked on the table, and saw some slob he left on the tablecloth; Sonic stealthily cleaned it up, hoping that nobody would notice.
Solaire: The modern world is so fascinating to me...why in fact, today marked my first time using a mode of transportation other than horseback. Felt strange, being transported without any effort from myself...but being Undead, I must acclimate to whatever conditions I'm in. I hope and pray that me being Undead won't scare away any potential friends...
"My apologies for that trumpet solo, that is something I have no control over," apologized Solaire, wanting to let everyone know how truly sorry he was. "It just...comes and it goes. A mighty fine tune, I will admit."
"Yo, Shovel Knight, what up my dude!" gleamed Sonic as he pointed at the knight, who had no idea how to respond. Shovel Knight didn't know how to be hip yet. "Who's that knight dude you're standing with?"
"That, Sonic, is none other than my new friend, Solaire of Astoria," Shovel Knight introduced Solaire to Sonic, and no trumpet solo was heard. Must only work for Solaire. "A man who worships the sun!"
"Sweet, so he must be a fan of the Phoenix Suns!" Shulk giggled at Sonic's remark, as Zelda facepalmed. "They're a professional basketball team, if you don't know. But since you're old-fashioned, let's just say that they're an athletic team..."
"A professional jousting team that plays inside a giant bird?" Jousting was the first thing that came to mind when Sonic said the phrase "athletic team". "My goodness, this modern world is far too complex for my being!"
"Don't listen to Sonic, he's just trying to mess your brain up," warned the Black Knight, as Sonic gave the knight a questionable look. The hedgehog apparently didn't believe he was doing anything wrong. "How about we get this tea party started, shall we?"
"Of course, that is what Solaire and I have been waiting for! Let's begin!" exclaimed Shovel Knight, as he and Solaire went to the table and took their seats. To their surprise, the Black Knight, Zelda, Shulk, and Fiora, would take their seats as well. "What is this? We have guests?"
"This surely has a Knights of the Round Table feel to it," remarked Solaire, looking out the window and seeing the sun. Seeing the sun shine brightly pleased the knight so, so much. "Even if they're only two knights present."
"Honestly we would've let you and Shovel Knight be...but you seem like a very fascinating person, Solaire," Zelda said to the knight, who took the princess' words with heavy gratitude. "Never met anyone who was deemed the Lord of Sunlight!"
"Yeah, clearly you've never met anyone in a cult..." murmured Sonic; Fiora, who was seated next to Sonic, nudged the hedgehog in his side.
"Ah, yes, the Lord of Sunlight...it is truly an awesome title to have," said Solaire, doing his best not to brag. Being a braggart wasn't his style. "Now that I'm Undead, I have one duty in life - to seek my very own sun!"
"I can't believe you guys actually want to have a conversation with this weirdo. He practically worships the sun like it's nothing!" Another remark from Sonic earned the hedgehog another nudge from Fiora.
"Do you find that strange, Sonic boy? Well you should! No need to your reaction; I get questionable looks all the time!" Solaire finished his sentence with a hearty laugh...
...and once he was done laughing, that trumpet solo was heard once more. Everyone except for Solaire looked around, wondering where the trumpet was coming from.
Master Hand: Where on earth is that trumpet sound coming from? Is it what I think it is? *gasps* Is it time? No, I'm not ready yet, I haven't even got the chance to kill one of my mansion underlings without fault!
"Is there someone outside the mansion, playing the trumpet loudly?" questioned Aerith, fearing that the trumpet might cause problems for someone. Mainly someone with sensitive ears.
"Like I said, my fair lady, I have no control over the trumpet sound," stated Solaire who, like Shovel Knight, had yet to take a single sip from his cup of tea. Probably came to the mansion just to chat. "It just comes and it goes..."
"I don't know about you, but I think this man Solaire is lying," Sonic whispered to Fiora, who instead of nudging the hedgehog just rolled her eyes.
Link and Cloud met with the Marth clan - Lucina, Chrom, and Marth himself - in the vending machine room, telling them about their interactions with Robin earlier.
"And then he just took his tome and ran out of the arcade room in a hurry," Link explained to the Marth clan, with Lucina appearing to be the most upset. She couldn't bear to see Robin be a deadbeat to his future kids.
"I'm telling you Marth, you should've spoke with Robin yourself," Cloud said to the hero-king, who gave the fellow swordsman a crazy look. "He's gonna be your in-law soon...on technical terms, since you're an ancestor, but you know what I mean."
"So you want two in-laws work things out, good plan Cloud," said Marth, looking away from Cloud, before seeing Lucina and Chrom staring right at him. "What, you two are on Cloud's side or something?"
"I mean, you are the patriarch of the family, relatively speaking," stated Chrom, giving Marth something to strongly consider. "The patriarch is always the one to resolve familial issues, right?"
"Well yes, I suppose so...but Lucina will be the future wife of Robin, so she should speak with him." Why was Marth putting others on the spot? Was he trying to hide something?
"Been there, done that...got absolutely nowhere with Robin," answered Lucina, and Marth was about to open his mouth once more. "And before you can say anything, Chrom tried to speak with Robin too, multiple times, and got nowhere too." Marth snapped his fingers in disgust, left with no other way out.
"Fine then, I'll be the one to speak with Robin...but I won't be doing it alone." As Marth said this, he looked at Link and Cloud, with a smile on his face.
"Asking Marth for that mail opener was such a terrible idea, in retrospect," Cloud whispered to Link, lamenting the fact that he and Link found themselves in this whole Robin family issue.
The tea party with Shovel Knight, Solaire, and the others was going along pretty well. As the tea party wore on, however, Sonic became more critical of Solaire, and his status as the Lord of Sunlight.
"I am a warrior of the sun - I gaze at it every morning, every noon, and every dawn before sunset," Solaire told the others, as his tea was getting a little cold. At least the Shovel Knight sipped a little of his, albeit with some difficulty. The poor knight didn't want to take off his helmet. "The sun is my friend."
"Yeah, yeah, we get it, you love the sun, like, a lot," said Shulk, getting sick and tired of hearing Solaire talk about the sun so much. "Not trying to be rude, but can we please change the subject? Why not talk about the moon, for Pete's sake?!"
"You can go ahead and change the subject, I gotta take a bathroom break..." said Sonic, hopping out of his chair and heading to the bathroom. That should keep him away from Solaire for a while.
Sonic: Solaire has to be the most contradictory person I've ever met...dude talks up a storm about loving the sun, yet he wants a sun for his own self! Just how selfish does that sound?! I'm surprised the others have gone on so long without calling out Solaire for his crap.
"Why don't we talk about the weather today?" suggested Shovel Knight - not exactly the greatest conversation starter, but it was better than talking about the sun. "Wonderful weather we're having, aren't we?"
"Black Knight, I'm honestly feeling a bit bored," Aerith whispered to the knight, as Shovel Knight went on a tangent about the weather. More than enough to make anyone go to sleep. "Solaire isn't quite what I thought he would be..."
"When Shovel Knight said that Solaire was obsessed with the sun, I shouldn't have taken it with a grain of salt," the Black Knight whispered back, admitting some fault for overlooking what Solaire was all about. "Ask him about his king or something."
"Solaire, do you serve under a king?" Aerith asked the knight, effectively putting Shovel Knight's tangent about the weather to an end. "Or a queen, or something?"
"No, but I am believed to be the firstborn of Lord Gwyn, the God of War," replied Solaire, responding in a very cheerful and happy tone. Talking about his personal life must make the knight feel happy. "He too was the Lord of Sunlight, until he lost his status as a deity."
"Doesn't that mean you're a god yourself?" inquired Fiora; Solaire looked at the Homs silly, before bursting into a fit of hearty laughter. Solaire's laughter should be trademarked.
"That is for you to find out, my dear lady...I can't tell you any secrets. Sometimes I wonder if I'm even Lord Gwyn's firstborn to begin with."
Pit and Dark Pit had to deal with some distractions - mainly Pit chasing down an ice cream truck - but the winged duo managed to arrive at the tattoo parlor ran by Morrigan, Lilith, and Felicia (the cat lady, not the maid). Pit and Dark Pit entered the parlor, the former licking his popsicle.
"Figured you would've devoured that entire thing before we arrived," Dark Pit said to Pit, who wasn't even halfway done with his popsicle. And yet the angel was licking very aggressively.
"To be honest, this is my third popsicle," stated Pit, as Dark Pit sighed. He should have known that Pit literally had zero self-control. "Could've been yours, but sadly, you declined..."
"Hello boys!" the lady seated at the front desk waved to Pit and Dark Pit. It was Felicia, the cat girl - the very least of the winged duo's problems. "Came here to get a tattoo? Or do you want a massage? That's our secondary business."
"We just need to speak with the owners of the parlor, Morrigan and Lilith, if that's fine with you," replied Dark Pit, feeling both of his fists tightening. It was now or never - no turning back.
"Morrigan and Lilith? Okey dokey! Just follow me to the back!" Pit and Dark Pit walked over to Felicia, with the former doing...some kind of pimp walk.
"Pit, what the heck are you doing?" questioned Dark Pit, as he observed the angel's pimp walk. Which looked like something only an old geezer could pull off.
"Sometimes you gotta let others know what you're all about," replied Pit, expecting Felicia to be impressed by his pimp walk. The cat girl was actually cringing.
"Thing is, you're all about nothing. You have no swag, no coolness, nothing. Quit embarrassing yourself, man."
Felicia: I hate to say it, but Morrigan is deeply in love with Pit, ever since she was flirting with him while Mario got his tattoo. She's been talk about Pit nonstop I'm afraid. As for Lilith, I don't really know about her, since she likes to keep her feelings to herself. As for me? I'm not interested in anyone, mainly because I don't have any potential suitors. It ain't easy, finding a cat man...
Felicia would take Pit and Dark Pit to the back of the tattoo parlor, where Morrigan and Lilith's office was located. The office had a bunch of tattoo designs posted on the wall, with a computer and a desk in the corner.
More importantly, Morrigan and Lilith were in the office, both succubi filing their nails. Both Pit and Dark Pit felt intimidated, standing in the succubi's presence.
"Morrigan, Lilith, we have some visitors!" Felicia said to the two succubi, as they looked up. Right on cue, Morrigan beamed when she saw Pit, squealing in delight. "What have I done..." Felicia said to herself.
"Dream boy, you've returned!" squealed Morrigan, as she ran to Pit and hugged him tight. With added force, she could've tackled the poor angel to the floor. "Did you miss me? Please tell me you did!"
"Uh, sure...whatever you say," answered Pit as he eyed around the office; had he said no, Morrigan would've killed him on the spot. "Just so you know, uh, I have a girlfriend, named Viridi..."
"Ooh, you do? Tell me where she lives, so I can KILL HER!" Pit eyed around the office once more, feeling like he placed Viridi in a bad situation. He looked at Dark Pit, who held some sympathy for him.
"Save me..." Pit mouthed to Dark Pit, who steadied his distance from Morrigan as he backed away...only to back up into Lilith. The doppelganger looked up, and saw the succubus staring right at him, with a smile.
"I've been expecting you to come..." Lilith said to Dark Pit, in a way that made the doppelganger feel extremely uncomfortable. Dark Pit would make a run for it, but Lilith had her hands resting on his shoulders...
"I just wanted to, uh, ask you about some love letter I got in the mail," Dark Pit said, as meekly as possible. Before he could continue, Lilith took his hand, and led him out of the office. "Hey, where are you taking me?"
"To a place where we won't be bothered..." Lilith took Dark Pit outside of the office, and to the nearest corner of the tattoo parlor. "So what were you saying again?"
"A love letter I got in the mail today, were you the one you sent it? I just wanna know..." Lilith looked at Dark Pit funny, before getting all up in his face, her nose touching his.
"Who told you I sent them, your girlfriend?! I know that she lives at the mansion with you; I've followed you and the maid girl very closely..."
"Okay, that sounds creepy, but I'll let it slide...also, how do you know I have feelings for the maid? Bet you don't even know her name!"
"Her name? It's Flora, isn't it? Such a pretty name...belonging to such a worthless human being." Dark Pit should definitely look out for Flora now. "And don't act like I don't know anything, I've seen all the romantic cues. I'm not stupid."
"I never said you were stupid to begin with..." Lilith soon grabbed Dark Pit by the neck, and held him up against the wall, staring at him with demonic eyes.
"You look here, Dark Pit, at the end of the day, it's gonna be me and you, forever! So either you go and kill your precious Flora, so she won't interfere, or I'll have to take care of things MYSELF! Got it?"
"Yes, yes, I understand wholeheartedly! Please let me go, you're crushing my esophagus..." Lilith granted Dark Pit's wish, as she dropped the doppelganger to the floor and let him writhe, clutching his neck and gagging.
Dark Pit was left with a choice - kill Flora, or protect her as much as he could before Lilith could swoop in.
Dark Pit: Why did I go to the tattoo parlor in the first place, to see Mario get a tattoo...this was Mario's fault from the get-go, he should've picked a different dare at a location where no crazy chick would fall in love with me. Dude should've asked us to raise money so he could trim off his mustache, although it would destroy his manhood. I would pay to see that!
Pit: Morrigan honestly didn't do that much - all she did was huge me and kiss me all over. Also, she now has a very strong bloodlust for Viridi...Did I tell Morrigan I was in a relationship with Viridi, and that she should stop pursuing me? That was what I was supposed to do, right?
The tea party was going along pretty well - Aerith got Solaire to stop talking about the sun, and Sonic for whatever reason had yet to return from his "bathroom break". Possibly left the tea party altogether.
"I love to engage in jolly cooperation, from time to time," remarked Solaire, who still had yet to take a sip of his tea. The Black Knight was very appalled. "Though some of my peers love to take things too seriously..."
"Trust me buddy, it's even worse in today's climate," assured Shulk, placing a hand on Solaire's shoulder. "I've personally seen friendships end, because people want to be the alpha dog and dominate. They're all like, 'Screw other people's feelings!'."
"Friendships ended because of selfishness and lack of cooperation?" Just hearing about the idea of friendships ending was enough to make Solaire depressed. "Where do such instances take place? I'd love to know, so I can stay away these heartless people you speak of!"
"Eh, they just mostly happen at video game tournaments. Which is a field too big for you to grasp. And no, there's no jousting or anything like that, so you can..."
Before Shulk could finish, the door to the room opened, as someone stepped inside garnering Shulk and company's attention. Sonic had returned, and he wouldn't be alone - with him were Crash and Aku.
"Sorry my 'bathroom break' took too long you guys, I spent a bulk of my time looking for another tea party guest," apologized Sonic, although no one was willing to except his apology. "Solaire, meet Crash and Aku!"
"A walking wombat wearing pants and shoes, and a floating mask with feathers, well I'll be!" exclaimed a very astonished Solaire, whose eyes were certainly widening behind his helmet. "Truly peculiar party guests, I'll say."
"Actually, Crash is a bandicoot, but you're not that off the mark about him being a wombat," stated Aku, leading Solaire to gasp. The knight held his hands up to his face, where his mouth would be.
"The floating mask can speak too?!" How very astonishing! This mansion will never cease to amaze me, no matter what!"
"Well I mean, he does have a mouth..." said Zelda, wondering why Solaire must be so easily impressed. Solaire must be the kinda of guy that was easily impressed by a flying ladybug.
Aku: Sonic told us that he saw Captain Falcon dancing and singing soprano and wanted to show us...Crash and I got played!
Captain Falcon: Can I sing soprano? Of course I can. Passed on my talents to King Dedede, who I don't think isn't using them that well...
"Where is Coco, shouldn't she be with Crash and Aku at all times?" questioned the Black Knight, noticing that a member of the Crash clan was amiss.
"Uh, Coco said she already had tea earlier today, so she couldn't come," Sonic quickly replied, as the Black Knight felt bummed out. Sonic would led Crash to his chair, and the two friends had to share the chair since there was no other chair around. Aku just floated behind the two.
"So Solaire, what do you do for a living?" Aku asked the knight, wanting to strike a conversation with him. "What kingdom do you hail from?"
"I am the Lord of Sunlight, hailing from the mighty land of Astora," explained Solaire, and would you know it, that infamous trumpet solo sounded off once again.
"Ah, so THAT'S where that sound's coming from! You're the one who keeps playing it over and over again! For a minute, I thought some medieval army showed up at the front of the mansion."
"To be fair, my floating mask friend, I have no control over the trumpet sound. It is a sound that just..."
"Yeah, yeah, yeah, we get it, it comes and it goes..." sighed Sonic, who was starting to despise Solaire and his antics real quick. "...we've heard you say it like a gazillion times already!"
"Actually, I've only said it thrice, but it's good to know that math isn't your finest subject." Dang Solaire, way to put Sonic in his place! Following his playful jab at Sonic, Solaire turned to the Black Knight. "Excuse me sir, but when do we get the scones?"
"Oh yes, the scones, how could I forget!" exclaimed the Black Knight, getting out of his chair and storming out of the room. "I'll be right back with the scones!" If Solaire wouldn't drink his tea, he could at least eat some scones. Can't waste food.
Outside the mansion, Poo was training with Ryu, with the young kung fu master punching into boxing mitts held by Ryu. Paula was nearby, seated on a tree stump and writing into a diary of hers.
"Keep it coming Poo, don't ever stop!" Ryu said to the teen, who was throwing a flurry of punches at blazing speed. Okay, so it wasn't blazing speed, but it was very fast nonetheless. "Give it all you got!"
"And stop screaming too, I can't focus!" Paula shouted - Poo's constant shouting during the entire training session was throwing the Southern belle off. "Must you be so loud?"
"If you can't handle the heat, then get out of the kitchen...the kitchen of might!" retorted Poo, as he kept screaming with each and every punch he threw. Ryu thought the screaming was a manly thing to do, but Paula thought otherwise.
"That doesn't even make sense...why do I even bother..." Left with no other choice, Paula took out a pair of ear muffs, and placed them on her ears as she continued her writing.
Paula: *holding up ear muffs* These ear muffs really do come in handy. Especially when your roommates are Ness and Poo. One snores, and the other screams in his sleep. I'll let you figure out which one does which.
Poo continued his training, punching into Ryu's boxing mitts, until he accidentally punched someone who stepped in-between him and Ryu and nailed that someone in the gut. That poor, unfortunate soul was Snake, who collapsed to the ground in a hurry.
"Snake, are you okay?" Poo asked the former spy, who was down on one knee clutching his stomach. Snake would slowly stand back up, trying to mask the pain.
"Yeah I'm fine - no pain, no gain, that's my mantra," replied Snake, with a rather weak smile. Good thing Poo didn't strike him below the gut - would've made the former spy incapacitated for a while. "I need you and Ryu to do me a favor."
"Whatever you ask, you shall receive," said Ryu, as he took off the boxing mitts and placed them on the ground. "What is this favor you ask from us?"
"Well, it's not really for me, but for Dark Pit...the kid called me, and apparently he wants me to protect Flora or something. Said some chick wants to kill her." This was alarming to Poo and Ryu - the latter most definitely, since he knew how devastated the royal Nohr family would be if one of their maids got killed.
"I can't for the life of me think of a reason why anyone would ever kill a maid...why is this girl's intent? Does she want to put Flora out of her misery for good? Or is she a contract killer? I know how to deal with those!"
"Dark Pit claimed that this chick is head over heels for him, and that she wants to eliminate anyone that might be Dark Pit's love interest...it's a long story. I just need you two to be Flora's bodyguards or something, while I keep lookout for this psycho."
"You can count on us, Snake!" assured Poo, giving the former spy a thumbs up. "Or can I call you by your real name? It's David, right? Can I address you as David?"
"Don't address me by that name, and maybe you'll live longer..." Snake always despised it whenever people called him David. Thought the name didn't suit him.
Robin felt very bothered when Link and Cloud asked him about Morgan and Marc - felt like the questions they were asking him were too personal. It made the mage weary that someone else would ask him similar questions. So Robin ventured away from the mansion, choosing to read his tome on a bench just down the street.
Spying on Robin from a distance was Marth, and he wasn't alone...with him was the Four Swordsmen - Link, Champion Link, Cloud, and Sora. None of the swordsmen knew why they were with the hero-king.
"Here's what I want you boys to do..." Marth said to the Four Swordsmen, after he was done looking at Robin. "...I want you boys to stay here, and only intervene if we and Robin come to blows. If we start throwing punches and whatnot."
"Two things wrong with that plan: one, we're not gonna stay put behind this tree," stated Champion Link, sensing that the tree was too small for the swordsmen to hide behind. "And two, what are the odds of you and Marth actually fighting?"
"You may not know it, Champion Link, but Robin and I used to fight before. Constantly butted heads every week! Fighting among ourselves won't be anything new to the either of us."
"Must've been a whole bunch of sissy fits," Sora whispered to Champion Link, who nodded his head with a smirk Marth was oblivious to.
Sora: It'd be amazing to see Marth actually fight someone with his fists. Judging by his appearance alone, he looks like the kind of dude that would look away and slap with his hands. Hope I'm not generalizing too much...
"Just keep quiet while I speak with Robin," Marth commanded the Four Swordsmen, before walking over to Robin and sitting on the bench. Robin kept reading his tome, which would only last for a few seconds until he detected Marth's presence.
"Well, I didn't expect to have a guest with me," the mage remarked, as he looked to his right and saw Marth. The hero-king looked chill; Robin felt it was right to start a conversation with him. "Wanna join me in reading my tome?"
"No, absolutely not...promised myself I wouldn't read or touch that dusty thing. I just wanted to ask you about your day, if you don't mind."
"My day was going along pretty well...until Link and Cloud wanted to ask me about the twins, Morgan and Marc. Like they're remotely interested in the twins in the first place. Why not ask Lucina about the twins?"
"Perhaps Link and Cloud asked her already, and they wanted to ask you. You are the father of the twins, are you?" Robin looked down at the floor, expressing some reluctance about answering the question.
"Well, I'll have to say that...I am their father...no mistake about it. Guess you could say they're my pride and joy. But there's one thing about them that I don't want anyone to know."
"Feel free to tell me this secret, I won't tell anyone I know. Besides, it's just the two of us. Your secret is just as safe as mine!"
"Okay then, but try and not be alarmed by what I'm going to tell you...the truth of the matter, is that..."
Before Robin could continue, a loud ringtone was heard from afar. Robin and Marth looked over at the nearest tree, and saw the Four Swordsmen, with Link pulling out his cellphone.
"Link? Cloud? Are you spying on us?!" questioned Robin, frowning mightily at the swordsmen. He had just about enough of those dastardly two. "Have you no shame?! I expected better from you..."
"Shut up, it's not what you think," yelled Link, before he finally answered his phone. "Hello? Hey Snake. What is it? No, I don't have any bear traps. I sold them to the pawn shop, remember? Yeah. What do you need them for anyways...?"
The tea party involving Shovel Knight and Solaire had already ended, but Solaire's day wasn't over just yet - for Shovel Knight wished to introduce the lord of sunlight to Mario before he departed. So Shovel Knight took Solaire to Mario's home and knocked on the door, as Mario answered.
"Oh, howdy Shovel Knight," Mario greeted the knight, who was standing on the doorstep; the plumber was later surprised to see a taller knight, adorned in white armor with a sun insignia on his chest plate. "Who-a is this man standing next-a to you?"
"Greetings, I am Solaire, an adherent of the Lord of Sunlight," Solaire introduced himself to Mario, as the trumpet solo was sounded once more. "...sorry if you heard that trumpet sound, it accompanies me wherever I go..."
Mario: Well, now I know-a where that trumpet sound came-a from. Was nervous some-a one wanted to declare war on Master Hand. Nervous only because I would-a be the designated army general. Master Hand loves lumping the heavy stuff-a on me.
"You must be Mario, the famous plumber Shovel Knight told me about," continued Solaire, kneeling down so he could shake Mario's hand with eagerness. "Have no clue as to how a plumber would ever be considered famous, but what do I know about the modern world?"
"I bet you really like-a the sun," said Mario, as he observed the sun insignia on Solaire's chest plate. "That was a very stupid-a thing of me to say..."
"Yes, my number one goal in life is to find my own sun - that is my mission, as an Undead knight. To have my own sun, one that I could take pride on...it would put a beaming smile on my face!"
"Right...why don't you step-a right on in? My wife-a and friends will make you feel right-a at home!" So Mario let Solaire and Shovel Knight inside his house, where Peach and company were present.
"Hi Shovel Knight, hi Shovel Knight's friend!" Peach waved to the two knights, as she was holding Jennifer in her arm. The knights came over to the princess, both adoring her infant daughter.
"Ah, you must be Mario's wedded wife, Princess Peach..." said Solaire, making Peach giggle since Solaire knew her name already. "...what a fairy tale dream, a plumber getting to marry someone of royalty. The absolute stuff of legends!"
While Solaire and Shovel Knight engaged in conversation with Peach, one person that wanted to greet Solaire was Impa...who was stuck with King Dedede, who desired to know who her boyfriend was.
"Just tell me his name Impa, that's all I want to know!" King Dedede pleaded to the Sheikah, down on his nonexistent knees with his hands clasped together. Impa just stared at the penguin, like he was practically worthless.
"I would tell you his name...if I had a boyfriend to begin with," replied Impa, refusing to see King Dedede miserable as she got up from the sofa she was sitting on. "In case you aren't aware yet, I'm not that interested in pursuing romance."
"But I can be the one to change that!" King Dedede quickly stood up and ran in front of Impa, stopping her in the process. "Uh, I mean, screw your boyfriend, he's old news! I can be the one to help you realize your passion!"
"That sounded very strange, especially coming from a guy like you. Now will you please get out of my way, before I have to..."
Impa would be cut off, when not one, but two winged fellows fell through the roof of Mario's home, landing in the middle of the living room. Those winged fellows were none other than Pit and Dark Pit.
"Has she arrived at the mansion yet?" Dark Pit asked Mario, once he was standing up on his feet. "Oh, and sorry about that hole in your roof, by the way."
Dark Pit: We could've been late if it weren't for you...
Pit: If it weren't for me? Dude, they were literally giving away free balloons! I couldn't let the opportunity slip by.
Dark Pit: Those balloons were actually a nickel each...I wanna know what kind of world you live in. by the way, whatever happened to your balloon?
Pit: I was holding it in my hand, but I guess the air liked my balloon more than I did. Which is why it pried the balloon out of my hand.
Dark Pit: Or maybe you let go of the balloon by yourself...you stupid idiot!
"Has who arrived-a at the mansion yet?" questioned Mario, left with more questions than answers, while Pit struggled to get up off the floor.
"Lilith, one of those chicks from the tattoo parlor," replied Dark Pit, as he dusted the rubble off of him. "She has a huge crush on me, and she wants to kill Flora since I have feelings for her! Either that, or I have to kill Flora myself..."
"Um..okay, that sounds-a weird. I didn't know there was more than one-a chick that liked you." Dark Pit felt very insulted by that comment. "Still, Lilith sounds like some-a one I shouldn't mess with..."
"If you won't do it, Mario, then I will be the one to mess with Lilith," proclaimed Solaire, pointing his finger high up in the air. "Nothing like some jolly action to put this whore in her rightful place!"
"Who the heck is he supposed to be?" Dark Pit pointed at Solaire, who was currently oblivious to the doppelganger and pretty much everything else.
"Don't mind-a him, he's just a friend-a of Shovel Knight. You should probably trust-a him to save your hide."
Snake was ready for Lilith to show up, as he had landmines littered around the mansion. The former spy was watching through his binoculars, on the lookout for the succubus that was coming his way.
"She should be here any minute now..." mumbled Snake, running his fingers through his brown beard. "...dumb girl can't keep me waiting forever! Got things to do, business to handle..."
"How's it coming along, Snake?" asked a voice, belonging to a manly man, as two individuals approached the former spy from behind. It was Poo and Ryu, who should be doing something important right now.
"Everything's good, just waiting patiently for this chick Lilith to come and..." Snake soon turned around, displeased to see Poo and Ryu standing behind him. "...hey, aren't you supposed to be guarding Flora?!"
"We were, but Flora had to use the bathroom," explained Poo, as Snake gritted his teeth in anger and fumed. "So we granted her some privacy, and came to see what you were doing."
"Flora could be done using the bathroom right now, for all we know! Why can't you two just do your jobs? Was standing outside the bathroom door too much for you?!"
Flora: *exits from bathroom, then looks around* ...hey, where did Ryu and Poo go?
Snake spent the next few seconds facepalming at Ryu and Poo, as a certain succubus tiptoed her way into the mansion's premises. It was Lilith, who was trying to make as little noise as possible without bringing any attention...
...until she made one bad step. and triggered a landmine, causing her to jump away as an explosion occurred. This triggered a sequence of the other landmines setting off, each one exploding one after the other.
"Crap, she's here!" shouted Snake, as he looked over and saw Lilith, standing there alone by yourself. "You must be the Lilith girl Dark Pit told me about! Said you wanted to kill someone, is that right?"
"Just one measly little girl, and I'll be gone..." replied Lilith, before striking a pose that would make Bayonetta nod her head in approval. "...but I'll have to kill some more if I have to! Why don't you three move out of my way?"
"Alright fellas, here's what we're gonna do...Ryu, you go to the right, and Poo, you go to the left. I'll go head-in first, and..."
"PRAISE THE SUN, PRAISE THE SUN, PRAISE THE SUN WITH ALL YOUR MIGHT AND WITH ALL YOUR SOUL! PRAISE THE SUN, IN ALL ITS GLORY!"
Standing far away was Solaire, who was holding his arms out to the heavens as he praised the sun he loved so much. Everyone from Lilith to Ryu looked at the knight like he was on crack.
"What are you waiting on?" Solaire asked the others, but most importantly Lilith, as he stared straight at the succubus. "Do what I'm doing, and praise the sun! It'll give you life, and things beyond your wildest dreams!"
"Praise the sun...?" questioned Lilith, furrowing her brow as she looked up at the sun. "Don't really see anything about the sun worth...praising..."
When Lilith looked up, she saw Shovel Knight perched atop Mario's house, holding Solaire's weapon of choice - the Lightning Spear. The knight threw the spear at Lilith while she was distracted, nailing her and shocking her in the process. Lilith screamed in pain as the spear electrocuted her, until she dropped to the ground.
"Nice toss, Shovel Knight - your throw might be better than mine!" Solaire commended the knight, as he went to go fetch his Lightning Spear. He stood over Lilith, writhing in pain, as Snake joined him.
"I reckon you leave this place, unless you want us to keep bringing on the pain..." Snake warned Lilith, who slowly got herself off the ground. The succubus glared at both Snake and Solaire, as she slowly got back on her feet.
"This won't be the last time you'll see me...I'll be back..." vowed Lilith, as she outgrew her wings and flew away. Dark Pit and Snake better be on the lookout...the former most definitely.
Snake: Those bear traps really could've come in handy...
"Is she gone?" Dark Pit called out, as he exited Mario's home. Snake looked over at the doppelganger, giving him a thumbs up. "Awesome! Thanks a bunch, you guys!" Dark Pit pumped his fist, as he walked back to the mansion.
"I don't believe we've met before, mind if I introduce myself?" Solaire said to Snake, holding out his hand to the former spy. Snake better be prepared for yet another trumpet solo.
King Dedede returned to the mansion, stepping inside the foyer with his head held down. Fox and Falco were present, as they went over to the penguin.
"It's over, Impa doesn't want me..." sighed King Dedede, feeling defeated inside. About time he realized the truth. "...did everything I could, but nothing could win that woman over..."
"That's okay, there's other fish in the sea for you to reel in," assured Fox, while feigning the lack of confidence he had for King Dedede finding a soulmate. "We can always go back to Wii Fit, if you like!"
"And you know what the worse part is? I didn't even get the chance to find out the name of Impa's boyfriend, or if Impa even had a boyfriend to begin with! It's the ones that play hard to get that are the most attractive...and the most difficult to deal with."
"Actually King Dedede, Sheik doesn't have a..." Before Fox could say the word that would make Dedede very angry with him, Falco quickly covered the pilot's mouth, effectively silencing him.
"Let's go get some malasadas and cheer you up, pal," the avian pilot suggested, as he led Fox and King Dedede to the kitchen. Shortly after the three left, the Four Swordsmen returned to the mansion, with bored looks on their faces.
"Utter. Waste. Of time," remarked Champion Link, sharing sentiments similar to his fellow swordsmen, as the four ventured through the foyer. The fifth swordsman to enter the mansion was Marth, who had quite the exchange with Robin.
"Well then...I now have a different perception of Robin today," the hero-king remarked, closing the door behind him as he went to his room. Clearly he and Robin discussed something meaningful during their conversation.
But what did they possibly talk about that caused Marth's perception of Robin to change completely?
