Author's Note:
Yes, this is another Thanksgiving chapter - hence the reason why it was published early. You know I had to do it. Guest reviews:
"Have any of the Mega Man Battle Network characters shown up yet? Will any other Tales characters show up for the Thanksgiving chapter? (Sorry for asking) a Smite chapter? (Since the game is confirmed for a Switch release) a scene with the Duck Hunt dog chasing Cait Sith from Final Fantasy VII? And finally, how soon will Corrin get out of his Star Wars phase?"
Not yet. Couldn't fit any Tales characters in this chapter. I could do a Smite chapter. The Duck Hunt dog chasing Cait Sith would be pretty funny. And Corrin will get out of his Star Wars phase soon - might start a new phase altogether. Think I planted the seeds in the 136th chapter. Next up is El Pollo Campero:
"Will you ever bring Wii Sports Boxing Champion Matt in the story? I think it would be pretty funny to see"
He's a Mii so...no. And finally, Derick Lindsey:
"I do wonder if we're going to see any other Spyro characters soon if you plan on having him and Hunter and Sparx by the looks of it stay for a while like Ripto, Elora, Bianca etc?"
I had intended to debut a few more Spyro characters in this chapter, but I had no room for them due to the chapter's plotline. Mark my words, they will appear very soon...
Oh, and one more thing, before I forget...Happy Thanksgiving!
Episode 153: Infiltrate
It was about that time of the year again...that time of Thanksgiving, the one holiday of the year where you gathered your relatives together, and stuff yourselves with turkey and other delicious food. In the case of the Smash Mansion, Thanksgiving dinner was always big, since there were so many people living together.
Today, the Assist Tower would have their own first Thanksgiving feast, prepared by none other than Chef Kawasaki. Due to the complaints from the residents about Kawasaki's horrendous cooking skills, Master Hand took it upon himself and asked Cilan to assist Kawasaki in making the feast.
You'd think that a guy like Chef Kawasaki would take culinary advice from a strong, experienced cook like Cilan, right? Well you're dead wrong...
"Chef Kawasaki, what on earth are you doing?!" Cilan called out the chef, who was pouring fat into his pot of collard greens. It unnerved Cilan, seeing someone commit a disgraceful act of poor cooking, like the act Kawasaki was doing now. "Are you trying to kill the residents?!"
"Anyone with even less than half a brain knows that fat instantly makes any food item better," Chef Kawasaki defended himself, as he casually poured the fat into the pot like it was nothing. "Thanksgiving food is supposed to be tasty, isn't it? I don't want any complaints once the feast is over."
"I'm sorry, but I can't stand to see you do this!" Cilan intervened, grabbing the container of fat from Chef Kawasaki and poured it down the kitchen sink. Chef Kawasaki gasped, holding his hands to his face.
"No, Cilan, I was gonna use that fat for the brown rice! Now my rice and gravy will ruined, along with the rest of the dinner if you keep this up!"
"Keep what up, saving your dinner? Master Hand brought me here for a reason - to save the Thanksgiving dinner at the Assist Tower before someone dies! I'm trying to save you and your reputation, man!"
"What would you know about Thanksgiving, or cooking in general? You're just a lousy gym leader! Why don't you just focus on training your stupid Pokemon!"
Angered, Cilan got into a shouting match with Chef Kawasaki, as the two chefs started bickering with one another in the kitchen. Callie entered the kitchen, saw the fight take place, and immediately left.
Callie: I've never seen Cilan so visibily upset before...poor cooking must really be one of his trigger buttons. Chef Kawasaki really knows how to drive a person insane!
Callie awkwardly walked away from the kitchen, still hearing Chef Kawasaki and Cilan shouting at one another, as she returned to the adjacent living room where Marie was. The squid sister was seated on the couch, watching the Thanksgiving parade.
"What are those two shouting about?" Marie asked Callie, who sat on the couch next to her. At this point, the shouting match between Chef Kawasaki and Cilan was getting louder than Barbara's guitar playing.
"Beats me - I just saw Cilan's face super red, and decided to bail," replied Callie, as she reclined herself on the couch. "Sucks that have to stay here for the Thanksgiving dinner...Master Hand won't let us go anywhere else!"
"Not even over to the mansion, or Mario's place? Wow that really stinks..." Notice how Marie didn't even mention Luigi...the disrespect was undoubtedly real.
"Yeah, Master Hand said that the dinner will be a 'bonding experiment', to see how we all get along. Said that he might even send Isabelle or Ayaha over, to see how much we bond. I'd hate to be either one of them..."
"I bet the Thanksgiving dinner at the mansion is always spectacular, year in and year out..." If you exclude the yearly food fight that takes place during dinner, then yeah, Thanksgiving dinner at the mansion was something worth looking forward to.
For Mario, it was his second year doing Thanksgiving dinner by himself, and as usual, the plumber was open to allowing anyone from the mansion to join. Mario was in the kitchen, doing the finishing touches on his turkey, when Impa and Lana approached him.
"Good-a morning ladies!" Mario greeted the two Hyrule denizens, humming a happy tune as he seasoned his turkey. "I take it that this is your first-a Thanksgiving? If so, then I'll make-a my feast one that you'll never..."
"We're leaving after this Thanksgiving feast is over with," Impa said bluntly, cutting off Mario. Mario looked at the Sheikah with a surprised look, before laughing off what she just said. But Impa wasn't smiling...
"Well, I highly doubt-a we'll be going on a trip or around-a town once the dinner is over with, but if you ladies wanna tag-a long with Peach for some early Christmas shopping, then go ahead-a and be my guest."
"No, Mario, I don't think you understand...Lana, Linkle and I are leaving. For good." Impa had to stress the final two words of her response, to make the message known and clear to Mario. Once he understood, Mario looked at Impa and Lana, with a knowing look.
Impa: The three of us only stayed behind to see if Calamity Ganon or some other evil entity started any trouble around the surrounding area, or anywhere else - and it looks like the coast is clear. I will say, we've remained in this city far longer than expected, but none of it was all for naught. We'll just eat at Mario's dinner, say a goodbye or two, then leave.
Lana: "Say a goodbye or two?" *leans in closer to Impa, with a smile* Are you purposefully trying to leave out someone?
Impa: No, I meant exactly what I said. Also, what did I tell you about instigating?
Lana: Th-that instigating leads to trouble? *Impa nods her head* And an unfulfilled marriage? *Impa nods again* Yeah...sorry about that, Impa... *pulls away from Impa*
Before Mario could say a word in response, the front door opened, much to the plumber's shock. Opening this door was Luigi, who entered Mario's house along with the guest staying with him, Linkle.
"Guys am I late, did you tell him already?" Linkle frantically asked Impa and Lana, with the former giving the blonde Hylian a scolding look. "Guess I was late then, hehe..." Linkle awkwardly scratched the back of her head; she sure knew how to let Impa down.
"Luigi how did-a you..." Mario started, before coming to a stop when he saw a pair of house keys in Luigi's hand. "...oh yeah, that is right, I gave-a you my spare house-a keys. You do realize I only gave-a you them for emergencies, right?"
"Linkle kept-a bugging me, I had to do some-a thing," replied Luigi, as he closed the front door back. "She kept going on about how Impa had some-a 'important announcement' to make."
"Yes, Impa just informed-a me that she'll be leaving us once-a my Thanksgiving dinner is over with." Luigi appeared to be very neutral about this announcement, not even showing a single reaction. "Her, Lana, and-a Linkle - they'll be returning to Hyrule soon. I should-a tell Peach..."
"Tell me what, about Impa and her friends going back to Hyrule?" asked Peach, as she showed up in the kitchen wearing her housecoat. "Impa told me the big news a few nights ago. Daisy and I have been working on a few parting gifts ever since!"
"You informed Peach about-a your decision...but you never told-a ME?" Mario looked up at Impa, feeling all sorts of hurt. Impa eyed around the kitchen innocently, not wanting to say something that would hurt Mario further.
"To be fair, she did try to tell you last week, but you were more concerned about stopping some silly dragon," stated Lana, as Mario was so angry that he didn't pay any attention to what was cooking on the stove - the pot of green beans. Peach ran over and turned the dial down in an instant.
"Dragons are not a joke-a Lana - that dragon was big-a and powerful, and it could-a have killed someone! You never mess around-a with dragons, even that Spyro fella that visited-a us."
"That dragon was big and powerful...yet according to the news, only a couple of people were injured. Not like anyone died." Mario looked at Impa, with a newfound level of contempt, as he shook his head.
"You're cold, Impa...real cold." On that remark, Mario left the kitchen entirely, heading up the stairs and to his room. Everyone just stood around awkwardly, while the turkey remained on Mario's stove.
"So...who's gonna finish-a seasoning that turkey?" asked Luigi, drawing everyone's attention to the turkey Mario pretty much abandoned.
Dunban: With Cilan stuck showing Chef Kawasaki the ropes in making the perfect Thanksgiving dinner (that poor guy's gonna be depressed soon...and yes, I'm talking about Cilan), I will be making the dinner over at the mansion, with Lady Palutena playing second fiddle. My superb cooking abilities will out-balance Palutena's amateur skills, so I think the Thanksgiving feast will be very much above-average.
Dunban was in the kitchen, and like Mario, the Homs was putting on the finishing touches on the turkey. Or rather, six turkeys, since there was a lot of people living at the mansion. Dunban was shaking some salt over one of the turkeys when Sonic approached him.
"Yo, Dunban, you got a minute?" the hedgehog asked the Homs, holding a piece of paper behind his back. "Just got a little petition I wanted to share with ya."
"A petition?" Dunban furrowed his brow, as he ended the salt shaking and placed the salt shaker on the counter. The Homs turned around to face Sonic, left curious by what this so-called "petition" entailed. "What kind of petition is it?"
"A petition...to add chili dogs to the Thanksgiving menu!" Sonic revealed the petition to Dunban, who raised an eyebrow as he read the provisions of the petition, as well as the people who signed. Pit, Lloyd, Wario, King K. Rool, and King Dedede were the only signatures.
"Sonic, I'm terribly sorry, but we can't just add something out of left field like chili dogs to the Thanksgiving dinner. I mean, did the Pilgrims ever eat chili dogs with the Indian people, when the first Thanksgiving dinner took place?"
"No, and that just further proves my theory that the Pilgrims aren't real people, based on their terrible taste in food alone. Seriously, has anyone ever seen a Pilgrim walking around these days? They're just a bunch of people made up by historians to fool elementary school students!"
"Personally I've never seen a single barbarian walk around in public...certainly they've never existed too? Did historians come up with those imaginary people, to trick students?" Dunban left Sonic stumped, as the hedgehog couldn't say a single word.
"Touche, Dunban, touche...but I'll leave this petition on the counter for you, in the hopes that you'll make a decision based upon the signatures I've gained. People are using their voice, mind you - don't do anything to silence them!"
"I'm sure I won't..." As Sonic left the petition lying on the counter and left the kitchen, Dunban took the petition, balled it up, and tossed it into the garbage can.
Sonic returned to the living room, where his two best pals Tails and Crash were watching the dog show now that the Thanksgiving parade was over with. Seating on the couch, Sonic grabbed the remote and changed the channel.
"Hey Sonic, we just started watching that!" frowned Tails, as Sonic changed the channel to a football game. Football in the afternoon - and at night - was always a Thanksgiving tradition. "Turn it back!"
"Who's we? I know Crash wasn't watching that crap," replied Sonic, as he rested his feet on the living room table. Surely he wasn't allowed to do that. "It would take away his manliness. And besides, who watches to watch a bunch of dogs run around during Thanksgiving?"
"I see that you aren't a dog person..." remarked Tails, folding his arms as Simon entered the living room. He saw a bunch of football players on the television screen, warming up for the game.
"What is this strange program that you're watching?" the vampire hunter inquired, joining Sonic and company as he sat in the available spot on the couch. "Men wearing helmets and tight pants...is this a burlesque show?"
"No way dude, not even close!" replied Sonic, who was more than ready to educate Simon. He could tell that this was the vampire hunter's first foray into football. "This is football, a sport where grown man score points and tackle one another at the same time! That's just the basic description of it."
"I see...then why are they wearing helmets and padding, if they're men? I hardly see anything manly about it at all! And why is there a lion casually walking around the field, why isn't anyone stopping him? He could eat someone!"
"One, that's a costume, and two, he's the mascot of the team, the Detroit Lions," explained Tails, as Simon nodded his head thoughtfully with a finger underneath his chin. "They're playing the Bears, who are from Chicago."
Simon: Don't get me wrong - Bears and Lions, those are great teams names, but they don't strike enough fear into an opponent. They should call themselves the Cold-Blooded Killers, or even the Murderers, to make their foes...What do you mean, those names aren't politically correct? What does "politically correct" even mean?!
"That guy with the cap and the headset is the coach of the Lions," Sonic explained to Simon, pointing at the television screen, as he and Tails took turns explaining American football to Simon. "He tells his players what to do."
"But how can the football players call themselves men, if they need another man to lead them?" questioned Simon, who didn't think that football was as manly of a sport as it seemed. "Men should lead themselves, and only themselves!"
"Oh man, is the game starting?" Captain Falcon asked Simon and company, as he entered the living room. Sonic shook his head no in response. "Awesome, looks like I made it just in time! Nowi, get over here!"
"I'm coming, I'm coming!" Nowi called out, as she entered the living room. Soon many others would enter the living room - Ganondorf, Wario, King Dedede, Hisui, Red the Pokemon Trainer, Ike, Roy, Lucas, Kumatora, and a few others. Simon saw this influx of people, and was left amazed.
"Is football really that popular?" the vampire hunter wondered out loud, as many folks were gathered in front of the television screen. "Do this many people gather together, to watch sissy men run a pigskin up and down the field?"
"Don't know exactly who you're calling 'sissy men', but other than that, yeah," replied Kumatora, who couldn't see the television screen since Hisui was in her way. "Hisui can you please move your head, I can't see!"
"I can't help with the fact that you're small for a girl your age," retorted Hisui, not even moving a single muscle. He looked back at Kumatora, who was seething deeply as she glared down the young man.
"I'M GONNA KILL YOU!" screamed Kumatora, as she got up and ran after Hisui. Hisui reacted very quickly, as he quickly ran away from the raging Kumatora.
"Kohaku, save me, Kumatora's trying to kill me again!" the young man yelled, as Kumatora chased him out of the living room. She ran past Link, who was looking at everyone watching the football game with a stern face and his arms folded.
"Greatly disappointed in you heathens, wasting your precious Thanksgiving watching those two worthless teams..." the Hylian said in a very distasteful manner, before tsking and shaking his head. Zelda showed up, having heard what Link had said. "...way to spend your time."
"Link, aren't you supposed to be an Eagles fan?" Zelda asked the Hylian, wondering why he was so disapproving. Link bit his bottom lip, as he unfolded his arms.
"The Vikings are my secondary team, okay?! I only like them because vikings use words and..." Link gave up, throwing his arms up in defeat. "...you know what, just...just enjoy the stinking football game, everyone, I'm out..." Link left the premises, following Zelda out of the living room as kickoff was only seconds away.
A Thanksgiving tradition always took place at the mansion, and it was a tradition that the residents either despised for various reasons, or was apathetic towards. That very tradition, you might ask? The List of Bowser, in which Bowser wrote down the names of stupid idiots to his very special list.
With the influx of new residents over the course of the year, Bowser had a great opportunity to add new names to the list. He added Richter to the list, for not knowing the Richter earthquake scale; he added Ken to the list, for having blonde hair despite his Japanese heritage; and he also added Piranha Plant to the list for...well, just for being a new joke character in Smash. Bowser still couldn't get over Piranha Plant being added.
Bowser: Master Hand made an awesome decision two weeks ago, when he built the Assist Tower and invited all the assist characters to live there - a lotta stupid idiots aplenty in that building. I'm gonna head over there soon, but for now, I gotta add some new names to my list. The stupid idiots can run, but they certainly can't hide!
Bowser searched every nook and cranny of the mansion, looking for stupid idiots to add to his ever-growing List of Bowser, when he came across R.O.B., chilling out in the lounge. The robot wasn't alone - with him were its new buddies, Ray and Chibi-Robo.
"What suspicious activities are you three up to?" Bowser questioned the three robots, getting his list ready. Had his black ink pen right under the name recently added to the list, Pyra. Might have something to do with her physical features.
"I'M JUST HANGING OUT...WITH MY NEW ROBOT PALS..." answered R.O.B., wrapping its arm around Ray. Bowser looked at the robot, like he was mentally insane.
"You can't have friends or pals, you're just an emotionless robot! You don't even have a pronoun, for crying out loud! You just made the list, mister!" Bowser furiously wrote R.O.B.'s name on the list, as R.O.B. held his head in shame.
"Hey, you can't do that, R.O.B. didn't do anything wrong!" Ray stuck up for his robot friend, as Bowser felt the sudden need to laugh his butt off. "It just wants to know what it's like to have friends!"
"You're sticking up for that dumb heap of metal? You just made the list too!" Bowser added Ray's name to the list - not even bothering to write out his full name - before moving on to Chibi-Robo. "You want in on the list too?" the koopa king asked the small robot.
"No sir, I'm just a mere cleaning robot..." replied Chibi-Robo, shivering in fear as Bowser was all up on on him. "Please don't hurt me..."
"Just what we needed, another clean freak in the mansion...hate to say it, but you just earned yourself a spot on my list." Bowser wrote down Chibi-Robo's name, before leaving the lounge. "It's never too late for you three to redeem yourselves...I'm just saying!"
Upon leaving the lounge, Bowser walked down the hallway, continuing his quest of stupid idiots. During his quest, he saw Fox, speaking with Peppy and Slippy; Bowser grew excited, as he rubbed his hands together with a wicked smile.
"Thanks for holding down the fort for us while we were in Japan," Fox thanked Peppy and Slippy, on behalf of himself and Falco. Bowser approached the space pilots, getting his list ready. "I'm sure you represented yourselves well..."
"Well, Slippy was fangirling over every single person he laid his eyes on..." stated Peppy, as Slippy giggled sheepishly while rubbing his arm. "...but other than that, he was alright. Didn't put himself in danger or anything like that."
"Fangirling over every single person, you say?" asked Bowser, as he approached Fox and company with his list and pen ready. "That alone is an inexcusable offense! You just made the list, buddy!" Bowser added Slippy to the list, but Slippy didn't seem to care either way...in fact, he was pretty happy!
"Is Ribbon Girl on the list?" the frog asked Bowser, feeling pretty excited as he jumped up and down while clapping his hands. "Please tell me she's on the list! That'd be very awesome company to be a part of!"
"Oh yeah, that's what I like to see! Being excited about being on the glorious List of Bowser! Why in fact, I should just take your name off the list, just for for positivity!" Bowser scratched off Slippy's name, as Fox and Peppy exchanged worried glances.
Bowser: Ribbon Girl is on the list? Pfft. Of course she's on the list! Dumb woman doesn't even have real hands, just extendable arms! Arms that can stretch out and sucker punch someone from a far distance! Whatever happened to face-to-face combat, is Ribbon Girl too scared for that? How can she even open doors, or brush her teeth? How can she even hold a microphone, if she's a flipping pop singer?! And to think, that she wants to be a "recording-selling artist"...bah!
"As for you, Peppy Hare...you're going on the list, for still being a space pilot!" Bowser said to the hare, as he added the hare's name to the growing list. "Being an old guy, and stealing the shine from all the young pilots out there...you're just like the Undertaker!"
"I wouldn't say that I'm stealing any shine...actually, I don't know that many young pilots out there, to be honest," stated Peppy; upon hearing this, Bowser added Peppy's name to the list once more. "Did you add my name to the list again?"
"That's for acknowledging the fact that you're ruining the young careers of space pilots, left and right! Almost to the point that you can't even name a single young space pilot...such self-awareness is appalling!"
"Yeah, that's a stupid reason to add someone's name on the list, if I ever heard one..." remarked Fox, as he walked away from Bowser to avoid the same fate as Peppy and Slippy. "...now if you excuse me, I'm gonna pay my girl Krystal a visit."
"Why pay her a visit, when you can just save your time and energy and call her on the phone? You just made the list, Fox McCloud!" Bowser wrote down Fox's name on the list, as Fox sighed and continued walking down the hallway. "Face-to-face conversation is overrated Fox, take it from me!"
"Take it from a guy who has never held a single relationship in life...yeah, what a way to go." Bowser could hear Fox muttering to himself from a mile away, and came chasing after the pilot.
"What was that you said, Fox? Don't think that I'm not deaf! Tell me what you said, before I give you the double treatment!" As Bowser chased after Fox, Peppy was left alone with Slippy, who was smiling happily.
"I'm on the same list as Ribbon Girl..." the frog blushed, hands on his cheeks as Peppy backed away. "...this has been the greatest Thanksgiving ever!" Peppy then ran away, leaving Slippy all alone by himself. Took him a while to learn that Peppy deserted him. "Peppy? Where'd you go? Peppy?"
Never in his life has Cortex felt so confident in himself before. Many times, the mad scientist was told that he was ugly. That he was worthless. That he was a sucky villain, because he never defeated his arch-nemesis Crash. Some even said that he was the weakest link in the mansion. Many residents have said these things and more, with Uka being the most common culprit.
But after Tiki defended Cortex in the previous episode - something Mario and company gave her crap for afterwards - Cortex had been feeling better about himself ever since. What made it even better for Cortex was that he was defended by a woman he apparently had a crush on, making him believe that a relationship with Tiki would work out just fine. Contrary to what Uka told him.
"I'm telling you Cortex, that Tiki woman doesn't like you," Uka warned the mad scientist, who was on his way to the Assist Tower to pay Tiki a visit. "She stuck up for you just to make you look good in front of Spyro. That dragon would've killed your behind!"
"But he didn't, because Tiki obviously wanted me to live," stated Cortex, as he took out a breath freshener and sprayed it into his mouth. "That alone is a sign - a sign that Tiki is potential wife material! She's single, and I'm single, which means it's time to..."
"Don't...even...say it. It's never gonna happen. Never will. Why can't you just smell the roses already?"
Uka: Told Marth about Cortex's strange romantic fantasies with Tiki, and now he's monitoring the situation as much as he can. It's not like he remotely cares about whatever's going on with Robin and his...erm, kids from the future, despite Lucina's concerns. Honestly I wouldn't care that much about my great-grandchildren either. All they ever do is steal your money and fortune.
Chrom: Marth just informed me about Cortex falling in love with Tiki...and if Tiki ever falls in love with Cortex, it'll show that she has seriously bad taste. Not trying to knock on Dr. Cortex or anything, I just expect a woman of her standard to hold men to a similar standing. Cortex's at the very bottom of the totem pole as far as I'm concerned - might be even lower.
"I have smelt the roses, Uka, and they've told me one thing - that Tiki is the one for me," replied Cortex, leading Uka to sigh deeply. Cortex reached the front door of the Assist Tower, and rang the doorbell; answering the door was the Black Knight.
"Oh, it's you..." the knight said to Cortex in an extremely uninterested tone; he hoped the conversation would be short, sweet, and to the point. "Please make it snappy, Kawasaki and Cilan are fighting it out in the kitchen and everyone wants me to be peacemaker..."
"I just wanted to come inside, if you don't mind. Wanted to speak with Tiki." The Black Knight looked at Cortex for a few seconds, before taking out his sword and swinging it at the mad scientist. The strike was strong enough to send Cortex flying.
"Know your place, you numskull!" Just when he was about to close the door, the Black Knight saw Fox coming towards him. Cortex, writhing on the ground in pain as Uka watched, looked up as he saw the interaction take place.
"Sup Black Knight, would you mind letting me in?" Fox asked the knight, with Cortex hoping the pilot would receive the same treatment he did. Much to his dismay, the Black Knight opened the front door wide, granting Fox access.
"Like you even had to ask...come on in Fox, make yourself at home!" the Black Knight let Fox inside the Assist Tower, looking at Cortex one last time before shutting the front door. Cortex gritted his teeth, as he stood up on his feet.
"You saw that blatant disrespect, Uka?" the mad scientist asked the floating mask, who saw nothing wrong with what the Black Knight did. "Treating Fox fairly while casting me away...he's out to get me!"
"Or maybe the Black Knight wanted to protect Tiki from you," suggested Uka, providing the most logical explanation for the Black Knight's actions. Cortex didn't want to hear it, as he marched away in his saltiness. "Where do you think you're going?"
Simon remained in the living room, watching the football game until the halftime show began. As Simon watched more of the game, he slowly became more knowledgeable about football, asking fewer questions as the game wore on. Which in turn made the experience more tolerable for everyone else.
"The dinner will be ready in less than five hours, just letting you all know," Palutena notified everyone in the living room, holding a tray of ham in her hands. "Soon you'll get to taste my delicious ham, which I made myself!"
"Yes, ham goes perfect with every Thanksgiving meal!" exclaimed Simon, who had yet to receive a true taste of how horrible Palutena's cooking was. "Your ham will arguably be the highlight of the feast, for sure!"
"Oh good, looks like I got a fan already! Sure hope you enjoy it, because I soaked my ham in the leftover fat from Dunban's turkeys!" Upon hearing this, a few folks in the living room felt uneasy...Crash even vomited on the floor.
"Yeah, because turkey fat obviously makes ANY kind of meat so much better..." Sonic remarked sarcastically, with the swing of his fist. Sonic, like a few others, was considering boycotting the Thanksgiving feast altogether.
"Ooh, looks like I got another fan!" gleamed Palutena, unable to sense Sonic's biting sarcasm. Sonic better quit it, or Palutena's head is gonna get big. "If you of all people likes my ham, then everyone else will! Everyone's getting a serving of ham!"
"That's not really what I said, but keep believing in your own agenda..." Sonic rested on the couch, arms behind head, as he looked at the others...everyone save for Simon was glaring at the hedgehog. "What, Simon started it!"
Tails: Thanks to Sonic, Palutena is gonna force her stupid ham down everyone's throats. Too bad that I'm allergic to ham!...Which is what I'll tell Palutena, if she tries to entice me.
Ike: You know, Thanksgiving dinner is one of the reasons why I have a bucket next to me, so I can throw up in it whenever necessary. It's my own special bucket - nobody is allowed to share. Not even Wario.
Wario: Not gonna lie, I still have feelings for Lady Palutena...so to show my gal that I still care about her, I'm gonna eat her ham! Eat my entire portion! And if anyone else doesn't want ham, I'll eat their portions as well! Palutena will have to fall in love with me then!
"Sometimes I really hate your guts, Sonic..." Roy scolded the hedgehog, disgusted with the sucky situation he and the others found themselves in. Then suddenly..
"WHAT HAPPENED TO MY TURKEYS?!" shouted Dunban, in a terrible state of despair. Having no turkey at a Thanksgiving dinner was bad, but having a missing turkey? Multiple missing turkeys? Now that made things even worse.
With her ham in her hands, Palutena returned to the kitchen, where she saw a despaired Dunban down on one knee, Fiora comforting him, as there were six empty trays on the kitchen counter. Those trays had the six turkeys...and now, they were gone!
"It's okay, Dunban, I'm sure they'll show up again," Fiora comforted her older brother, who stood back up and shook the Homs silly with his one operating hand. How could Fiora say such a thing, during such a perilous time?
"Fiora can't you see, someone literally just stole the turkeys like it was nothing!" stated Dunban, trying to keep his cool as the sudden urge to pull out his hair overwhelmed him. "Someone is out to sabotage Thanksgiving!"
"Someone's trying to ruin our Thanksgiving feast?" gasped Palutena, holding her hand up to her face. "Who could do such a thing?!" Dunban turned around and looked at the goddess of light, wanting to slap her.
"Lady Palutena is this all your fault, I told you to guard the food while you were cooking your ham! Especially the turkeys, they're the very bread and butter of the entire feast. And thanks to you, Master Hand's gonna kill us!"
"Guard the turkeys from what, exactly? Not like they can come alive and run out of the mansion." In a furious state of mind, Dunban took a deep breath, resting his hand on his head as he walked away from Palutena.
"I think you should just take a seat..." suggested Fiora, not wanting to make her brother more agitated. Dunban walked back and forth, doing his best to control his anger, as Champion Link entered the kitchen.
"Did someone say anything about stolen turkeys?" the Hylian asked, as everyone looked at him. They all knew what was coming next. "I know one group that would steal turkeys without leaving a trace...the Yiga Clan!"
"Ah, yes, let's blame our troubles on a nonexistent club that is purely fiction," said Dunban, throwing his arm up in defeat. Wasn't that effective if you're not doing it with two arms. "Maybe if we do that, the turkeys will show up!"
"Believe me Dunban, stealing food is so like the Yiga Clan. They stole the bananas from the storage room, and they tried to steal malasadas from Cilan. They know now bounds - all they know is to kill and steal!"
"Sounds strange for a clan obsessed with bananas to be also interested in turkeys..." Just then, Fiora whispered something into Dunban's ear, as her older brother nodded his head in thought. "You know what Champion Link, how about a deal...if you can somehow find the turkeys, and prove the Yiga Clan's existence, then I'll give you all the Thanksgiving dessert!"
"A very generous offer, but I can never turn down a bet. Especially one that involves exposing a corrupt group for what they are. And what if I don't retrieve the turkeys and prove that the Yiga Clan?"
"You just won't get any Thanksgiving food at all. Sounds fair? All you'll have to eat is popcorn, jelly beans, and maybe some ice cream from the Ice Climbers. If there's any left over. Do we have ourselves a deal?"
"Deal!" Champion Link shook hands with Dunban, with determination and grit in his eyes. "Just you wait and see, Dunban, those turkeys will be back sooner than you know it!"
Fiora: No way do I think the Yiga Clan stole the turkeys - they're about as real as Bowser's chances at being an above-average father. But I do know for a fact someone stole the turkeys, and possibly hid them somewhere. Got a hunch it was the Rabbids from the basement, but I don't think they're intelligent enough to pull a turkey heist off. But Master Hand...he might have a hunch for who the culprit is. If he's as "all-knowing" as he claims.
Cloud was walking to the living room, maintaining his cool and confidence, with Link and Sora following him. The latter joined Cloud against the swordsman's wishes, and was also reading the TV guide in today's newspaper.
"The Dallas Cowboys get to play on Thanksgiving again?!" Sora exclaimed, in both surprise and shock. "Why do they get to play on Thanksgiving? Is there a conspiracy that we don't know about?"
"They play on Sunday because they're apparently 'America's Team'," replied Cloud, who felt that bad he even responded in the first place. "They're located in Texas, so that might be a reason why..."
"But they're mediocre! Do the national television stations hate America or something, by putting Americans through this torture every Thanksgiving? It really makes sense the more you think about it..."
"Hoo boy, I'm glad to see you three!" Champion Link showed up, walking back from the kitchen. "How would you three like to help me infiltrate the Yiga Clan's hideout, and find the stolen turkeys?"
"Someone stole the turkeys from the kitchen, huh?" smirked Cloud, who would be laughing about the whole situation if he cared enough. "Bummer...though I doubt the Yiga clan would have anything to do with it."
"I'm with Champion Link, I think the Yiga Clan did it," stated Sora, as Link and Cloud looked at one another; of course Sora would be on Champion Link's side. "Champion Link said that the clan steals stuff, right? I bet they're the ones who stole my bag of potato chips!"
"You left your bag in the gaming room and King Dedede ate it," clarified Link, as Sora suddenly had a newfound disdain for King Dedede. "I should know, I saw it happen - kinda thought it was funny."
"I had a good feeling we'd have to locate and infiltrate the Yiga Clan's hideout one day, which is why I developed a plan - all in my head. Come in closer, so I can tell you guys what to do..."
"We'll do this for Champion Link, and we'll never speak of it again," Cloud whispered to Link and Sora, who nodded their heads as they joined Champion Link, getting into a huddle of sorts.
Donkey Kong sure was happy about being back in the mansion. Away from Maiko, no longer forced into being an R&B singer, the gorilla returned to the normal life he had at the mansion, where he could enjoy himself and relax in peace without anyone watching him.
But, if there was one thing DK wasn't happy about, it was the fact that his banana supply was decreasing. The gorilla and Diddy Kong were at the storage room, and brought Layton and Luke along to see if the two detectives could figure out this phenomenon of missing bananas.
"This room was full to the brim with bananas by the time I left for Japan..." stated Diddy, who was left scratching his head in confusion. Layton and Luke rummaged through the bananas, unsure of where the bananas went. "...wasn't someone supposed to watch over them?"
"That was Mr. Game and Watch's duty, I think," replied Donkey Kong, as he stroked his chin. "Or Dark Pit's...I'll just go with Dark Pit, since he's much easier to blame. Mr. GW never sucks at his job."
Dark Pit: Got a major confession to make...those bananas in the storage room, which Mr. Game and Watch told me to watch over while the Kongs were away. I...ate a few bananas. A couple of bananas. Only the fresh ones. But that doesn't mean I stole them...Okay, maybe ten or twenty.
"I've asked King K. Rool if he stole the bananas...he expressed his innocence wholeheartedly," stated Layton, having interrogated Rool since the Kremling couldn't stand the sight of bananas. Having a room full of that yellow fruit must really disturb Rool.
"It could have been the Yiga Clan, perhaps they found a secret way inside this room!" theorized Luke; everyone looked at the young apprentice, before bursting into laughter. It was bad enough that Layton was laughing at his own pupil.
"Don't be ridiculous, Luke - the Yiga Clan is just a make-believe clan. The name sounds ridiculous enough. Don't believe in every little thing Champion Link says - take it with a grain of..."
"Professor Layton? Luke?" a voice called out, as Layton looked towards the storage room door and saw Link. "Would you mind coming with us...uh, I mean, me, for a second? We got some missing turkeys, apparently."
"Missing turkeys?!" Not wanting to let such an issue slide, Layton walked out of the piles of bananas, adjusting the hat on his head. That was a key sign that the detective was getting serious. "Hurry up Luke - we have a Thanksgiving to save!"
"Coming!" Luke called out, as he followed after Layton. "We'll be back soon!" the apprentice notified the Kongs, as he and Layton followed after Link. After Layton and Luke had left, Donkey Kong dug underneath the bananas out of curiosity, and pulled out...a speedo.
"How on earth did my speedo get under here?" wondered Donkey Kong, as he saw Diddy looking at him with a purely disgusted face. "It's...it's a long story, nephew."
With the Black Knight playing peacemaker, you'd think that the beef between Cilan and Chef Kawasaki would come to an end. But that wouldn't be the case - the Black Knight, sucking at his job, made the beef even worse, agitating Cilan and Chef Kawasaki further. In fact, the two chefs got so loud, that one could literally hear them yell and scream from outside. But that didn't stop the Black Knight from answering the door.
"Someone told me that Chef Kawasaki was a worse chef than Lady Palutena," Paula said to Ness and Poo, after knocking on the front door. "That alone must be an accomplishment of its own." The Black Knight would soon open the door, inhaling and exhaling deeply and at a fast pace.
"Can't let an honest man stop a fight in the kitchen, can you?" the knight seethed, down on his last nerve. Poor guy was ready to snap on anyone. "What do you three misfits want?"
"We just wanted to see Jeff, our best friend," replied Ness; the Black Knight opened the door wide for Ness and company, letting the teens inside the Assist Tower. From the lobby, they could hear the shouting from the kitchen. "How long have those two been going at it?"
"I dunno, but they're really giving me quite a headache...Jeff is on the second floor, by the way. Now, go along! Save yourselves!" Ness and company ran off, as the Black Knight went back to the front door to close it...only to be greeted by Cloud.
"Hey," Cloud plainly said, with his hands in his pockets. "Sure hope I didn't come at a bad time." Cloud could tell how ticked off the Black Knight was, behind that helmet of his.
Cloud: What do I have to lose, from infiltrating the Yiga Clan's hideout? Either my sanity, or even my reputation. I'm stuck in a lose-lose situation - being a part of Champion Link's delusion will only make me look bad.
"What do you want, Cloud - you have a friend you wanna see too?" the Black Knight asked the swordsman, willing to take out his frustration upon him. "Got a chess match with Alucard? Wanna show off your sunglasses to Rodin?"
"Actually, I just wanted to see Lakitu," responded Cloud, surprising the Black Knight with his response. Cloud would want to see Dr. Wily, to ask him his question, but he feared that Wily would be busy - like he has been throughout the entire week. "Tell him to bring his camera."
"I'll be right back..." the Black Knight headed back inside the Assist Tower, and a minute or two later, he came back with Lakitu, who was on his Cloud. "Lakitu, this is Cloud Strife; Cloud Strife, this is Lakitu. Now leave me alone..." The Black Knight slammed the front door, leaving Cloud and Lakitu by themselves.
"Why do I feel like this was purely intentional..." Cloud furrowed his brow, figuring that he was told to retrieve Lakitu mainly because Lakitu rode on a cloud and Cloud was...Cloud. "...you interested in filming the hideout of some stupid cult, buddy?"
"Ooh, is this some kind of documentary?" asked Lakitu, armed with his camera, as he excitedly rubbed his hands together. "That has always been a dream of mine!"
"Documentary isn't the right word to describe it...but it's close enough, I suppose. That camera of yours better be fully charged."
Master Hand had yet to be aware of the stolen turkeys from the kitchen. Isabelle, who supplied Master Hand with every little thing he needed to know, refused to share the news with the giant hand, mainly for Dunban and Palutena's safety. To keep Master Hand from finding out the truth, Isabelle engaged the giant hand in making large hand turkeys - a nifty kindergarten Thanksgiving tradition.
"I hate you so much Isabelle, for making me feel like a little kid..." groaned Master Hand, pressed against a large sheet of drawing paper as Isabelle drew an outline around him. "Have you truly forgotten who I am?! I'm Master Hand, I'm supposed to feel mighty and powerful!"
"Even the creator of the Smash universe can have an off-day every now and then!" Isabelle responded in a cheerful manner, as she finished the outline of Master Hand. Had to be a hundred percent precise. "There! All done!"
"About time..." Master Hand lifted himself off the floor. "...now show me the hand turkey, so I can see how ugly the hand turkey looks." Isabelle disobeyed Master Hand's orders, as she started coloring the hand turkey with crayons. "Woman are you deaf, I said show me the hand turkey!"
"We have to color it first, otherwise it'll look boring and drab!" Master Hand didn't care - he just wanted to call Isabelle out for being a terrible artist. Once she was done coloring, Isabelle moved aside, revealing the hand turkey to Master Hand. "Ta-da!"
"That...that is one ugly hand turkey." The hand turkey, while colored with the right colors, had a very shaky outline, and oddly placed eyes. Poor design. "...with that being said, it should definitely be hung up in Waluigi's bedroom. Ugly atrocities always go hand in hand."
"Master Hand?" Sora called out to the giant hand, entering the room as Master Hand turned around to face the Keyblade wielder. "Do you know anything about the, um, Yiga Clan?"
"Of course I know about the Yiga Clan - I know every little thing in this universe, for crying out loud!" Everything except for the missing turkeys, perhaps. "Did this Yiga Clan harass you or something?"
"No they didn't, they just, uh..." Sora couldn't tell Master Hand about the turkeys - he would make the giant hand lose his mind. "...I just wanted to tell them hi. You know where they're hiding?"
"Why yes I do - in fact, I even had Isabelle type out the directions to the Yiga Clan hideout. Isabelle?" Isabelle went to the top drawer of Master Hand's virtually unused dresser, pulling out a piece of paper and handing it to Sora.
"This is just a flyer for a car wash, done by Krystal..." Sora soon flipped the paper over on the other side, and saw the directions. "Oh, here's the directions! A lot less detailed than I thought."
Master Hand: We somehow ran out of copy paper in the printing room, so we had to print off the directions Isabelle typed on the back of one of the car wash flyers...Why is Krystal the one doing them? Uh...let's leave that matter alone, for now.
"Just follow everything on that sheet of paper, and you'll be at the Yiga Clan hideout in no time," Master Hand advised Sora, who read the directions thoroughly. Up and down, front and back...if the latter was doable. "I'd suggest bringing a weapon, just for self-defense."
"Eh, I got my Keyblade with me, so I have nothing to worry about," shrugged Sora, before leaving Master Hand's room. "Thanks, Master Hand!" As Sora left the premises, Isabelle soon had a worried look on her face.
"You don't think Sora's going into the Yiga Clan hideout by himself, do you?" the shih tzu asked Master Hand, wondering if Sora knew what he was going up against.
"Knowing him, he'll rope Cloud into being his sidekick, if he hasn't already," replied Master Hand, before looking out his bedroom window. "I'm sure Sora's just inviting the Yiga Clan over for the Thanksgiving feast. What a good guy he is..."
Mario remained in his room, still feeling some type of way. Today was the plumber's first time hearing about Impa and company's desire to return to Hyrule - something Impa already told Peach prior. Mario felt left out, and rather displeased.
"Just headed downstairs, and saw Peach doing things in the kitchen," Cappy informed Mario, having returned from downstairs. Mario sat on his bed, his chin resting in the palms of his hand, as he looked down at the floor. "Think you can trust her with the food?"
"You're acting like the woman can't-a cook..." replied Mario, as Cappy floated over to him. "...and besides, everything has-a been cooked and prepared. All Peach has-a to do is not spill-a anything."
"Oopsie daisies, I spilled the cranberry sauce unto the floor!" Peach could be heard from downstairs, as Mario let out a sigh. "Mario, where did you put the mop? Don't tell me you put it with the plunger again!"
"...so much-a for that." Mario let out another sigh, as he fell back on his bed. In a curious state of mind, the plumber felt like asking Cappy an honest question. "Cappy, have you ever felt-a left out before?"
"The folks from Bonneton gave me crap because I looked different, but I wouldn't say that made me feel left out," replied Cappy, unable to come up with a good enough answer for Mario. "Does this have something to do with Impa?"
"That Sheikah didn't even bother to share-a with me the news...and neither did-a Lana, so she's in the same-a boat. It's almost like-a Impa values Peach more than-a she values me! We should-a be on equal standing!"
"To be fair, she did try to tell you last week, before the Inklings came over. And when she tried again after that, you either ignored her, or dismissed her entirely! Had to leave a bad taste in her mouth."
"How was I supposed-a to know, I thought she wanted to criticize-a me or say that my fly was-a down. She's constantly putting me down-a with every chance that she gets...it's-a despicable."
"Well you did put her down in some instances...might I mention the whole funtivities thing?" Mario was about to open his mouth, to defend himself...
...when two buddies barged inside the plumber's room, without warning - Pit and Kirby. The two friends, like last Thanksgiving, were dressed up as Pilgrims.
"Happy Thanksgiving, Mario and Cappy!" exclaimed Pit, as he and Kirby pranced around the bedroom. Pit was arguably showing more effort than Kirby, who was just mailing it in to appease his best friend.
Pit: Last Thanksgiving didn't turn out so well - not only did anyone want our turkey, but our turkey also refused to be eaten. What's worse is that the turkey also started that food fight and made Rosalina upset! It deserved to be thrown into the sanctuary, and be devoured by the Pokemon.
Kirby: I don't mean to burst your bubble or anything, but that turkey...was a Pokemon.
Pit: A turkey Pokemon? Do you realize how stupid that sounds? Why would there be a Pokemon based upon something edible!
Kirby: There's fish Pokemon out in the lake, you know...
Pit: Kirby, are you trying to convince me that people actually eat fish?
Kirby: It's no wonder that you're always skinny...
"How long were you two down-a stairs?" Mario asked Pit and Kirby, while they were still prancing. Kirby, who was wearing very tight shoes due to his large feet, was struggling mightily.
"At least twenty minutes," replied Kirby, who eventually came to a stop just so his feet could rest. "We would've came upstairs sooner, but apparently Pit is terrible at keeping track with time."
"Say Mario, do you need a turkey?" Pit asked the plumber, as he also came to a stop. Did so much prancing, that he was sweating buckets. "Peach nearly sneezed on your turkey, so it wouldn't hurt to have a backup turkey, ya know what I mean?"
"I'm sure that-a wasn't intentional," smiled Mario, his eye twitching - it would greatly bother him if Peach contaminated the turkey and ruined Thanksgiving dinner. "Peach would-a never do some thing so deliberate."
"Like spilling cranberry sauce on the kitchen floor and making a mess?" Mario held his tongue, not wanting to criticize Peach. He knew Pit would tell Peach everything she needed to know afterwards.
"Accidents happen, accidents happen...I can just make-a another batch of cranberry sauce. It's not that hard-a to make." Mario sat up on his bed, pressing his hands together. "If you boys didn't clean-a up the mess, then I'm sure Impa and her lady friends-a did..."
"Impa told us that she wanted to give you an apology or something," stated Kirby, as Mario looked alarmed; he never Impa to be the apologetic type. "Did you and her have another fight? The bickering between you two never stops..."
"No Kirby, it wasn't a fight...it was more-a or less a matter of miscommunication. Something I might've took-a personally, and Impa took-a personally to some extent. I might have-a escalated the situation."
"Hey, is that the dragon and cheetah dudes from last week?" asked Pit, looking out through Mario's window at two individuals coming towards the mansion. "What were their names again? Shoot, I forgot..."
The dragon and cheetah dudes were none other than Spyro and Hunter, with the former accompanied by the yellow dragonfly Sparx. Spyro and Hunter, who both intended to go on vacation in Dragon Shores, instead vacationed around Washington after the Mario Bros, Mario and Luigi, showed them around. Originally planning on just vacationing in the Seattle, Spyro and Hunter ventured outside of the city, and were left with lasting impressions.
Spyro: Where did we stay at during our vacation? Eh, we just slept under the trees until the morning sun woke us up. We would stay at a hotel, but neither one of us knows how hotels operate. Not to mention that Hunter left his gems back in Avalar...with his fares, we could've had a hotel stay for at least two years.
"Enjoyed the vacationing and all, but I really feel like staying somewhere for the long run," Hunter expressed his thoughts to Spyro, once the two friends arrived at the mansion's premises. "Sleeping on the grass is nice, but those insects keep biting me!"
"I feel ya Hunter - that's why we're gonna ask Mario if we can bunk in his place," replied Spyro, as he and Hunter walked up the walkway to Mario's house, reaching the porch. "He did say that we can come back anytime we want."
"Oh yeah, he did say that...man, he's such a generous guy. I bet he and Princess Peach will agree to let us stay with them in no time!"
So Hunter knocked on the front door, with him and Spyro expecting either Mario or Peach to greet them with open arms. But instead of the plumber, or the princess, the person that opened the door was the plasma Pokemon, Rotom...
"Ooh, guests for the Thanksgiving dinner, zzrt!" exclaimed Rotom, as Spyro and Hunter were left confused. Sparx looked behind Rotom, and saw some smoke coming from the kitchen...you know what that meant.
"THE TURKEY'S ON-A FIRE AGAIN!" panicked Luigi, looking for the fire extinguisher. Third straight year Luigi set his turkey on fire...maybe there was a bad Thanksgiving omen. Daisy and Yuffie looked on, with the latter stifling her laughter.
"Whoops, wrong house," Hunter said to Rotom, before closing the front door as he and Spyro stepped down from the porch and walked next door to Mario's home. "Those Mario Bros really need to color-code their houses..."
"Tell me about it..." Spyro responded in agreement, as he followed Hunter to Mario's home. Standing on Mario's porch, Hunter knocked on the door, and Lana answered it. Not the person Spyro or Hunter had in mind.
"Aw, an itty bitty dragon, how cute!" Lana fawned over Spyro, triggering him with the words "itty" and "bitty". Making the dragon feel all self-conscious. "And a walking cheetah, never seen one of those!"
"Who are you, and what did you do to Mario?" questioned Spyro, quickly assuming that Lana was lowkey an evil mage. Lana looked at Spyro, easily amused by how angry he looked.
"'I'm Lana, from Hyrule - I'm just a gal that lives with Mario and Peach. Only temporarily, though." Hearing that only made Spyro even more suspicious.
"Oh cool, I didn't know Mario was into polygamy!" remarked Hunter, as Spyro looked up at the cheetah with a weird look. "I'm Hunter, and that's my man Spyro. We're looking for a place to stay." No mention for Sparx whatsoever...the disrespect.
"Funny you should mention that...because Impa and I are moving out of Mario's house soon! I can let you in and let you speak with Mario and Peach, if you like."
"Mario is really into polygamy a lot more than I expected..." Hunter whispered to Spyro, who rolled his eyes as he and Hunter entered Mario's house.
Hunter: I'm not a firm believer in polygamy or anything...I'm too in love with my girlfriend to pursue something like that. Bianca, me and her go way back, man - I still remember how ticked off Spyro was, when I kissed Bianca for the first time. Maybe he can't handle inter-species relationships yet.
"Oh Princess Peach, we have some company!" Lana alerted the princess, who had just cleaned up the cranberry sauce off the floor with Impa's help. Peach looked over, delighted to see Spyro and Hunter.
"Ah, it's you two again!" the princess gleamed, dropping her materials to the floor as she went over to Spyro and Hunter, nearly knocking Lana to the floor. "So, how was your vacation?"
"It was pretty nice - not nicer than Dragon Shores, but it was the second-best vacation I've ever been on," replied Spyro; Impa looked on, wondering what interest Peach had in the dragon.
"Personally, I've never been to Dragon Shores, nor went on a vacation, so it was the greatest vacation ever for me," added Hunter. Peach was evidently interested in Hunter too, further piquing Impa's intrigue. "Minus sleeping outside, of course."
"Yeah, Hunter I got real tired of sleeping outdoors - which is why we're looking for a place to stay. We wanted to know if it's okay with you and Mario, if we could stay with you. If you have an available room, that is."
"Princess, you're not going to let those two miscreants stay with you, are you?" Impa asked Peach, as neither Spyro nor Hunter took the "miscreant" comment lightly. "You're not...going to let them stay in the guest room Impa and Lana stayed in..."
"HOLD ON, HOLD-A THE PHONE!" Mario boomed, as the plumber came marching down the stairs and to the kitchen to confront Impa. With him were Pit and Kirby, the two friends wanting to see some fireworks. "Who are you to determine-a who stays with me or not?!"
"Mario please get off your high horse, you're embarrassing yourself..." Impa had seen Mario embarrass himself plenty of times before, but to her this incident was the cream of the crop.
"No, Impa, I won't-a be silent. You make such a big-a deal about wanting to leave - without-a even telling me, for Pete's-a sake - and suddenly you want-a to stay, because Spyro and Hunter wish-a to move in?"
"That's not even what I said...I was just about to advise Princess Peach on not coming to a rash decision when deciding whether those two should stay or not, and make a decision based on logic and reasoning. That's all."
"What logic and reasoning are-a you even talking about...you know-a what, I'm done with-a you, Impa..." Mario threw his hands up in defeat, as he marched back up the stairs and to his room. Pit and Kirby would follow the plumber back, but opted to stay behind.
"Did you and Mario have a fight?" Kirby curiously asked Impa, who declined to give an answer.
Peach: Oh dear...Impa, Lana, and Linkle are about to leave soon, and Mario and Impa are fighting with one another...I saw the cracks form early on, and it seems like those cracks have gotten bigger...I can see a big fissure on the horizon...
The Four Swordsmen were gathered outside in front of some trees, with Layton, Luke, and Lakitu. The mission at hand? Find the Yiga Clan hideout, infiltrate it, and find the missing turkeys. All in time for the Thanksgiving feast.
"Hey Link, whatcha doin'?" Midna approached the Hylian, eating a turkey leg she stole from the kitchen while Cilan and Chef Kawasaki were arguing. "Gonna make some trees magically come to life?"
"No, we're going to find the hideout of the Yiga Clan," replied Link before pointing at Champion Link, who was reading the directions Master Hand had given him. "Champion Link believes the Yiga Clan were responsible for stealing the turkeys for our feast, so we're going to track them down."
"Never had a non-eventful Thanksgiving dinner, huh?" Recalling the past Thanksgivings in his head, Link shook his head. "Honestly, I'm surprised Champion Link roped Layton and Luke into this...mission thing."
"To be fair, Cloud, Sora and I had to go with Champion Link, since we're best buddies. And as best buddies, we have to support Champion Link's delusions and agree to go places with him - even if we don't like it."
"Well, Champion Link, where should we go first?" Layton asked the Hylian, feeling impatient. Champion Link took the directions, rolled it up, and stuck the paper in his pocket. Where his (prototype) Sheikah Slate would have been.
"According to the directions...the hideout is behind those trees," replied Champion Link, pointing at the trees in front of him. No crap, Sherlock Holmes.
"We know that already - once we get past the trees, where do we go next? The Yiga Clan could be hiding underground, for all we know." Layton didn't believe this, as he never believed in the Yiga Clan's existence, but he was just saying hypothetical things to impress Champion Link.
"Should have been more specific...the directions say that the hideout is down some hill, past a few trees. We might run into some Yiga soldiers along the way, so be on your guard."
"Interesting how Master Hand has directions to the Yiga Clan hideout..." Cloud said to Lakitu, as Champion Link led the group past the trees, with Midna following after them. "...got a lot of questions to ask him."
Champion Link led the group, exuding confidence as he led the group down the hill - exactly what the directions entailed. The group made it past a few trees along the way, and then suddenly...a Yiga soldier appeared out of nowhere, armed with a bow and arrow.
"You bums are trespassing unto our turf!" the Yiga soldier said to Champion Link and company, getting his bow ready. Champion Link got excited, seeing this as an opportunity to prove that he wasn't crazy.
"THERE HE IS! LAKITU, FILM HIM AT ONCE!" commanded Champion Link, as Lakitu focused his camera on the Yiga soldier. The soldier, lining up his arrow at Lakitu, was ready to fire...until a bright flash came out of nowhere, blinding him.
"GAAAAH!" the Yiga soldier shrieked, falling to the ground as he dropped his bow and arrows...as well as some bananas. Champion Link claimed that the Yiga Clan loved bananas to death. "Crap, there must be more intruders than I thought...time to bail!" The Yiga soldier vanished away via smoke bomb, leaving his materials behind.
"That flash...that could only come from one person..." Lakitu stroked his chin, getting a hunch for whoever was responsible for making the Yiga soldier vanish. The very culprit appeared from behind some shrubbery...Yuri, operator of the Camera Obscura. With her was her best friend, Miu.
"Did that red jumpsuit man go away?" Yuri asked Champion Link, holding her Camera Obscura down. "The flash from my camera must've really blinded him."
Cloud: So, Champion Link was right, the Yiga Clan does exist...on another note, we can all be glad that Champion Link isn't anything like Sonic. Otherwise we would be strongly compelled to kill the man.
"Yuri, Miu, what are you three doing away from the Assist Tower?" Lakitu questioned the three ladies, who both held their heads in shame. "This is dangerous enemy territory - some Yiga dude could've killed you both!"
"Yuri just wanted to take some pictures around the area, before dinner starts..." Miu stuck up for her best friend, since that was what best friends do. "...she hasn't really taken any pictures since we moved to Seattle."
"I just wanted to test out the capabilities of my camera, if that wasn't any trouble," stated Yuri, as she held up her Camera Obscura for the others to see. "I'm sure my camera's more than just for capturing spirits."
"Like Lakitu said, it's very dangerous to be in this neck of the woods," Layton said to Yuri, approaching her just so he could get a good look of her camera. "But, your camera did stun that Yiga hoodlum...perhaps you can come with us! We're trying to locate the Yiga Clan hideout."
"That would be a great opportunity to take some pictures, around their lair...if they let me, that is." The Four Swordsmen might have Yuri have their way. "Miu and I can come along, I suppose."
"Provided we make it back in time for dinner..." remarked Miu, as she and Yuri followed Layton and company to the Yiga Clan Hideout. A bunch of Yiga soldiers were bound to show up at any given minute along the way.
In the Assist Tower, the foursome of Ness, Paula, Poo, and Jeff were playing some Connect 4 in the living room. Fox and Krystal were chilling out on one of the living room couches, watching the four friends play.
"Science clearly states that playing Connect 4 while blindfolded results in a 77.8 percent chance of winning," stated a blindfolded Jeff, playing against Paula, as he dropped his colored disc down the suspended grid. Far away from the other colored discs he dropped.
"I highly doubt that's true, Jeff...seeing that you're on a five-game losing streak against us," smiled Paula, as she dropped her colored disc down the grid. "Make it six in a row - I have won again!"
"Silly Paula, you should know better than to argue with science..." Jeff took his blindfold off and put on his glasses...shocked to see Paula's colored discs lined up in a row, ensuring her a victory. Jeff's bottom lip trembled, as the boy genius grabbed his blindfold and looked up to the heavens. "SCIENCE, WHY HAVE YOU FAILED ME?!"
"...and that, Krystal, is why I never could aspire to be a science nerd," Fox told his girlfriend, leaving her giggling as Jeff was down on all fours banging his fist on the floor with contempt. "A whole lotta superstition, which scientists claim doesn't exist in their realm."
Fox: Feels great to be living next door to Krystal, and be able to talk with her on a regularly basis. Part of me wants to give Krystal a role at Star Records, but I would be criticized for favoritism. Everyone knows that favoritism only applies to giving family members jobs - there's even a word for it in the dictionary, in case you weren't aware.
"Fox, Krystal, it's an emergency!" Falco alerted the couple, running into the living room. He saw Jeff during his tantrum, and tried his best to ignore him. "It's Slippy Toad, he's being...well, he's being Slippy again."
"Tell us something we don't know..." smirked Krystal, who knew Slippy's behavior all too well. "...Slippy has always been a weirdo, and the annoying kind I'm afraid."
"He's going full-blown weird right now; the guests arrived at the mansion for the feast, and one of them is Lightning Farron...Slippy is kissing her hand as I speak!"
"Say what?!" Fox angrily stood up, and Krystal stood up as well. "What is that man Peppy even doing?! He should be restraining Slippy! Once I'm done with him..."
Champion Link led his group to the Yiga Clan hideout, with Yuri and Miu following along and Midna staying closely behind. With her Camera Obscura, Yuri was able to take out any approaching Yiga Clan member, the flash of her camera stunning the evildoers and making them go away. A real asset for Champion Link.
"Looks like we made it!" announced Champion Link, arriving at the entrance to a cave. Yiga symbols were all over the place - so much for keeping a low profile. "C'mon, let's get those turkeys!"
"Not so fast, my friend," Cloud said to Champion Link, grabbing the Hylian's collar before he could make a run for it. "We haven't established a plan first. Can't just run into that cave head-on and..."
"No intruders allowed!" someone shouted, as Cloud and company turned around and saw six Yiga soldiers armed with sickles. "Nobody trespasses our territory and gets away with it...now DIE!"
Before a single Yiga soldier could do anything, a giant orange hand smacked all six Yiga clansmen consecutively, knocking them unconscious and sending them to the ground. That giant hand came from Midna, who grinned as she looked at her prey.
"Sure glad I was right behind ya, aren't you?" the imp asked Link and the others, expecting to be praised. "Don't give me those dumb looks - just be happy that I saved your behinds! Now are you going in there, and get those turkeys or not?"
"She is such a godsend..." Luke quietly said to Layton, holding the bananas dropped earlier. Those bananas could be real useful...
Fox and Krystal quickly ran to the mansion with Falco, to see what Slippy was up to, and in the foyer they saw a whole bunch of guests. Guests such as Cranky Kong, Eliza and Mel (Ken's wife and son, respectively), Professor Kukui and the trial captains/kahunas from Alola, Silver the Hedgehog, and Lightning and Serah Farron. The latter was having her hand kissed...by Slippy.
"My queen, my precious queen..." Slippy praised Lightning, kissing her hand nonstop. Fox ran over to Slippy, trying to pry Slippy away from Lightning, but Slippy had quite a strong grip on Lightning's wrist.
"He's been going this ever since I got here," Lighting told Cranky Kong, who was standing next to the pink-haired woman. Cranky was observing Slippy, with a finger underneath his chin.
"A frog in love with a human...I personally see nothing wrong with it," replied the elderly gorilla, as Lightning gave him a look of great concern.
Cranky Kong: Me being invited for Thanksgiving can only mean one thing - another chaotic food fight. If that author doesn't deliver in the food fight, then this chapter is a completely utter waste.
"Dad, why is that frog kissing the woman for?" Mel asked Ken, who quickly grabbed his Mel and Eliza and whisked them away from Slippy. Clearly Ken's wife and son had seen enough.
"Don't mind him son, he just...he just has a serious mental illness," responded Ken, as he took his family to the living room. Dunban soon showed up in the foyer, just to see how many guests were present.
"A lot of people showed up, just as I expected..." the Homs remarked, hoping the stolen turkeys would show up soon. "...it's a good thing I baked a few extra turkeys, just in case. Wish Cilan was here..."
Unfortunately Cilan could not be at the mansion, for the connoisseur was still arguing with Chef Kawasaki. The Black Knight, who was supposed to be a peacemaker, ultimately gave up and left the kitchen entirely.
"Whaddaya mean, cholesterol 'makes the world go around'?" Cilan questioned Chef Kawasaki, his face all red with extreme frustration. Kawasaki was pushing him to his breaking point. "Cholesterol is the reason why heart attacks exist!"
"Then tell me, Cilan, how burger joints remain in business!" retorted Chef Kawasaki, with enough ignorance to make Cilan want to pull his hair out. "Clearly they know something that YOU don't! You're a stupid chef!"
"I'm a stupid chef? Says the guy who grates his cheese with an old-fashioned potato peeler! No wonder you've received too many complaints about your mac-and-cheese, it's absolutely horrible!"
"The residents weren't complaining, they were just being super sarcastic! Only an idiot like you would take their words seriously!"
"How many times are you going to go at my intelligence? Is that the only insult you know? What a pathetic man you are..."
"Will you boys please pipe down? All this constant back-and-forth bickering is going to ruin my focus..."
Chef Kawasaki and Cilan both frowned, upon hearing this mysterious voice...which came from the stove. The two chefs looked towards the stove, and saw a short man in a green fairy suit, standing on a stool and cooking away without breaking a sweat. It was the wannabe fairy, Tingle.
"Hello boys - I have been cooking away while you two were having your little spat," Tingle explained to Chef Kawasaki and Cilan, who both wondered how Tingle was able to cook despite the drama taking place around him. "Baked the turkeys, made the dressing, and steamed the vegetables...yup, everything is almost done!"
Tingle: Common folk don't give us Tingles much credit for being great cooks - but, when given the chance, us Tingles deliver each and every time, without fail! Now if only the common folk can look past our outfits...and our mustaches...and our...
"You mean...Thanksgiving dinner...is saved?" Chef Kawasaki asked, ready to explode into a bundle of joy. Tingle nodded his head, making Kawasaki giddy.
"Indeed, my friend, Thanksgiving dinner is almost saved," replied Tingle, as he went back to stirring whatever was in the pot. Most likely Chef Kawasaki's jacked up collard greens. "Just gotta redo these collards and..."
"Oh, thank you, THANK YOU!" Chef Kawasaki hugged Tingle, nearly making the fake fairy fall off his stool. "You're a real lifesaver! Totally going to steal all the credit from you!" Kawasaki ran out of the kitchen screaming happily, as Cilan gave a sheepish smile.
"Remember, Tingle, all the greatest works and efforts go unmerited..." Tingle said to himself, as he resumed stirring the pot.
Champion Link and company ventured through the hideout of the Yiga Clan, which was lit by torches on the wall. During their travels, they came across an old man, chained up to the wall and looking mighty sickly.
"Help...me..." the old man reached out to the group, holding out his hand. A true act of desperation.
"Hey man, how's it going," Link said to the old man as the group continued on their way. They would soon come to a stop, when Champion Link saw a Yiga Blademaster in the vicinity, holding a torchlight.
"Luke...bananas," the Hylian whispered to Luke, who handed him some bananas. Champion Link tossed the bananas at the Yiga Blademaster's feet, making the soldier delighted as he devoured the bananas. "Alright, let's move!"
"This is some good footage right here..." whispered Lakitu, videotaping the Yiga soldier as he followed the others. Soon the group arrived in the next room...
...which had a bunch of turkeys, all in one big pile. Next to a pile of bananas. Napping near these piles of food were Yiga soldiers, resting comfortably.
"Those bananas must be the ones stolen from the storage room," assumed Layton, looking at the bananas, before redirecting his attention to the turkeys. "Our turkeys must be in that pile...it'd be hard to tell which turkeys belongs to us!"
"Screw it, we'll just take all the turkeys with us!" Midna smiled, floating up to the pile of turkeys as she rubbed her hands together. "Got lots of mouths to feed, both at the tower and at the mansion..."
"But what if those turkeys belong to..." Yuri started, before she heard someone clear their throat loudly. Everyone turned around, and saw the Yiga Blademaster, armed with his cleaver.
"Those turkeys are for us, and us only..." the man informed Yuri and the others, as he sounded a horn - calling in backup, as a bunch of Yiga clansmen appeared via smoke bombs. A Thanksgiving brawl was about to go down...
Peach had started Thanksgiving dinner at her house, with her, Impa, Lana, Spyro, Hunter, Pit, and Kirby gathered around at the table. Only person that was absent was Mario.
"Is anyone going to deliver a plate to Mario?" inquired Spyro, as Hunter, seated next to the dragon, was eating his turkey leg like it was his last meal. "Dude won't even come down the stairs..."
"He'll be down here eventually," assured Peach, as a certain plumber came down the stairs and to the dining area. "Oh, there he is! Care to join us, Mario?" Peach asked her husband, who still looked ticked off.
"...I'm-a not hungry," replied Mario, before the house phone rang. "I'll answer the phone." Mario went over to the phone, and picked it up. "Hello, Mario residence...hey Link. What was-a that?...You're in the Yiga Clan-a hideout?...The Yiga Clan was real-a this whole time?! And you're fighting them-a right now?"
"Yiga Clan?" said an alarmed Impa, as she stood up from her seat. Hunter, looking at the Sheikah's portions on her plate, ate the broccoli bread he had his eyes on.
Impa: The Yiga Clan were mentioned in that Hyrulian tome I gave to Mario - apparently they love to worship Calamity Ganon, and everything about it. I like to think of them as rogue Sheikahs.
"Hold-a on Link, Impa is coming over..." said Mario, having to put the phone down as Impa approached the plumber. "...what is it, woman?" Mario asked Impa.
"Tell Link to give me the directions to their hideout - Lana, Linkle and I are coming to help out," replied Impa, as Lana looked up at Impa with a look of disappointment. No way was she leaving the Thanksgiving food behind.
"Impa just told-a me that she and her friends-a will be coming over as backup. She needs-a the directions to the hideout. You have-a the directions, right?"
Thanksgiving dinner at the Assist Tower was saved, thanks to Tingle and his superb cooking abilities. The assist characters were seated around the table, splurging themselves with food, as Chef Kawasaki and Cilan stood together, both smiling. Let bygones be bygones.
"Hey Spring Man, can you pass me a knife?" Hammer Bro asked, and Spring Man would give a knife to the koopa, his Arm extending over the table. His fist would knock Hammer Bro out cold.
"Oops, sorry about that!" Spring Man apologized, as he dropped the knife on Hammer Bro's plate. "So hard to eat food, with arms like these..."
"You're violating my personal space..." murmured Skull Kid, with Spring Arm's elongated left Arm too close for comfort. Skull Kid wished he could break Spring Man's Arms in half sometimes.
"Yuri and Miu haven't returned from their outdoor adventures," noticed Lyn, as she saw two empty chairs and two uneaten plates next to her. "I sure hope they're both alright..."
"Bump them, I'm gonna take their portions!" vowed Mr. Resetti, as he hopped down from his chair and walked over to where Yuri and Miu sat at. He hopped unto one of the chairs, with his height holding him back. "Who's gonna stop me?"
"Thou shall not touch the maidens' food!" shouted Shovel Knight, as he used his shovel to flick some potato casserole at Mr. Resetti, nailing him in the face. You know what that meant...
"FOOD FIGHT!" shouted Phosphora, as she grabbed her stuffing, ready to throw it at someone. But as the blonde raised her arm up in the air, Shadow grabbed it, before standing up.
"No, we cannot have a food fight here, the space is too small," the hedgehog stated, acting as the voice of reason. "That being said, if we are to start a food fight...we must start it over at the mansion, where we'll have more room!"
"Yeah, what he said, food fights are the best!" cheered Akira, much to the chagrin of Cilan. Any food fight was no bueno.
"You don't have to do that..." stated Cilan, with a nervous smile as the assist characters felt compelled to leave the table. "...we can't let this food go to waste..."
"Shut up, you don't even live here!" Shadow snapped on Cilan, putting the connoisseur in his place. "Everyone, follow me!" The assist characters followed Shadow out of the dining room, with Cilan shivering in fear.
Shadow: Why trigger a food fight at the mansion? Because that's where Cranky Kong is, and I want to extract my revenge on him for that Thanksgiving food fight two years ago. The audacity of him, throwing casserole at me...gonna take more than a one-man army to teach him a lesson.
Meanwhile, at the mansion, the residents and the guests were enjoying the Thanksgiving feast. Granted there wasn't enough turkey for everyone, but that didn't damper the mood.
"Sucks that we can't eat with Jeff at the tower," Ness said to Paula and Poo, the three friends ordered to returned to the mansion. "Sucks even more than we don't have enough turkey..." Ness frowned, as he looked over at Dunban.
"Well, in all fairness, I totally underestimated how many people there would be..." Dunban grinned nervously, before looking to his right and seeing Master Hand, jumping in fright. He could tell the giant hand was angry.
"When I invited all those people, I expected them to be left pleased..." said Master Hand, as a nervous Dunban gulped loudly. "...the lack of turkey greatly displeases me so."
"WE'RE BACK, EVERYONE!" someone announced, standing at the dining room entrance with turkeys in his hands. It was Champion Link, standing with the rest of the Four Swordsmen and Layton and Luke. All six were bruised, and were also holding turkeys. "We made it back from the Yiga Clan hideout, which had a lot of turkeys...and yes, the Yiga Clan, is real..."
Layton: Couldn't bring all the bananas with us, so we brought whatever we could bring. A few dozen bananas should appease the Kongs.
"Ah, you've returned, and with turkeys!" exclaimed Master Hand, as Champion Link and company placed the turkeys on the kitchen counter. "Way to save Dunban's behind from..." A knock was on the back door, interrupting Master Hand. "Oh, who could that be?"
Being the closest to the back door, Professor Kukui got up and walked to the door, opening it...only to be greeted by a pumpkin pie to the face, courtesy of Shadow. The hedgehog entered the dining room, shoving Kukui aside as he led his fellow assist buddies inside.
"This mansion is now under siege..." the hedgehog announced, before looking towards Phosphora. "Would you like to do the honors?" he asked.
"Gladly..." smiled Phosphora, clearing her throat before shouting, "...FOOD FIGHT!"
And so it was on, as mansion residents, assist characters, and dinner guests alike started fighting with one another. Shadow got his revenge on Cranky Kong, by pieing him in the face; Piranha Plant spat out hot gravy into Silver's face; Dark Samus smeared Geo Stelar's face with cranberry sauce; and Guile stuffed roasted ham down Bowser's throat, telling the koopa king to be a better family man.
"No, not the turkeys, we just got them from the hideout!" fretted Champion Link, as Waluigi and Little Mac grabbed the turkeys and tossed them at unsuspecting people. Serah went over to the kitchen counter, grabbing a turkey.
"It's a food fight...anything goes now," the woman said to Champion Link, before leaving. Taking her word for it, Champion Link shrugged, as he grabbed a turkey.
"CARNAGE!" the Hylian shouted, raising the turkey above his head as he ran towards the others.
Yuri, Miu, Lakitu, and Midna returned to the Assist Tower, surprised by how quiet it was. It wasn't until they reached the dining room that they realized everyone was gone!
"Hey, where did everybody go?" wondered Lakitu, as Cilan was the only one left behind; the connoisseur sat on the floor against the wall, fearful of the torment Master Hand was going to bring upon him.
Cranky Kong: The author made me get pied in the face, by Shadow. For that, the food fight was a failure. This chapter should be deleted now.
With Impa and Lana gone, Mario joined Peach and the others at the table, eating dinner with them. As everyone engaged in goodwill and conversation, the front door opened, revealing Impa and Lana. Impa tossed the house keys Mario had given her on a nearby table, as she and Lana looked pretty beat.
"Well ladies, how did-a it go?" Mario asked Impa and Lana, who did not say a word as they walked into their room. Impa would return, however, poking her head out of a corner.
"We're staying...just a bit longer," the Sheikah informed Mario and Peach, as Mario was greatly alarmed. First Impa said she was ready to depart, and now she changed her mind? What a surprising turn of events.
"I'm sorry, could-a you repeat that?" asked Mario, before Impa could return to her room. She had a feeling Mario would say that.
"We're staying with you, for a bit longer. Got a Yiga Clan to deal with. We'll probably stay until Christmas, and then head out for good." With that said, Impa went to her room, as Mario was still in shock.
"That's-a what Professor Layton said..." Hopefully Impa won't be like Layton, and will actually live up to her word.
"Aw what, they're staying?" frowned Hunter, who wanted that guest room for himself and Spyro. "Guess I'll be sleeping on the couch then...way better than what I used to sleep on, back in Avalar."
"Just don't think of those girls as second wives..." Spyro advised Hunter, not wanting his cheetah friend to believe Mario was a polygamist.
After all, he and Hunter were on really good terms with Mario - can't have another Impa situation within the Mario household.
