Author's Note:
This chapter is done in the vein of a clip show...but unlike chapter 106, this chapter will feature new and original scenes - archived scenes/unused footage, if you want to be technical - rather than being a collage of past moments in the story. It will also feature characters that were formerly mansion residents. But there's no Jakob...bet you're happy about that. And if you aren't happy...well, I won't judge you. This chapter is the first of this year's holiday-themed chapters (in case you couldn't tell from the title, somehow). Let's get on to the reviews:
"Will the spell Viridi has wear off before she loses all her hair? Can you also include Lucina reacting to Gintama? (Yu Kobayashi voices Lucina and Gintoki's stalker, Sarutobi) can you add a scene of Blake Belladonna of RWBY and BlazBlue Cross Tag battle freaking out over Duck Hunt, Isabelle, Polterpup, and other dog-like residents? (She's a cat faunus and has cat ears under her bow and has a fear of dogs) a scene of Ruby fangirling over the weapons each resident has? (She's a dork when it comes to weapons) and finally, if Pokemon Sword and Shield get a sequel, what do you want to see in that sequel?"
Most likely not. I can have Lucina react to Gintima. If I can make Blake appear in the story (along with Yang), I can have her freaking out over the canine characters. Could also have Ruby fangirling over the residents' weapons. And if Sword and Shield gets a sequel, I want to see an expanded Pokedex, and an engaging and addictive post-game like the one Black 2/White 2 had. And a Battle Frontier. Though that could be wishful thinking. Next up is pspieres3:
"since five nights at Freddy's got released on the Nintendo switch today, could you possibly do a five nights at Freddy's related situation for wolf, sonic and bowser?"
Wow...I haven't heard about Five Nights at Freddy's in a long time. But yeah, I could do a situation related to the game with the characters you mentioned. Derick Lindsey has a question about the previous chapter:
"So did the football game just end because it seems odd that Shadow didn't make much of a fuss about the football game ending and while normally he wouldn't give a **** but considering it was against Sonic he probably got annoyed a little bit about not beating Sonic in something?"
We could say that Shadow assumed that Sonic forfeited the game, meaning that his team won. Seems like something Shadow would do. On to GreaterDoomerUKI:
"1) I would really like Cackletta and Fawful to make an appearance. In fact, Midbus and Fawful didn't even come in you inside story chapter...
2) How can you tell the difference between sobbles second evolution towards the Persona 3 Protagonist?"
1) Fawful had his day in the limelight, but Cackletta...don't know about her. Midbus not being in the Bowser's Inside Story chapter was a missed opportunity, but it is what it is.
2) Drizzile and Minato loo pretty similar...but Minato looks more emo. Drizzile, on the other hand, looks like he's trying to be edgy.
PinkRose4452 only has one suggestion for me this time, since she's sadly running out of ideas:
"Can we see an SNK party, where Terry invites his SNK friends, just like when Ryu had a Street Fighter party?"
That would be a great way to introduce some SNK characters into the story. I'll have to see when I can do that, though. Our last review comes all the way from chapter 28, provided by Gunmar'sBane:
"Great chapter as usual! just a little pet peeve I have here though. With all the different Megamans, why don't you call classic megaman Rock? That is his canon name. it just sounds weird to be calling him megaman too. but that's just me."
Good question - since Capcom tends to call Mega Man...well, Mega Man, and not Rock, I pretty much do the same. Okay, so that's probably not the best explanation, but at this point, it's a habit...
Episode 207: SecretSanta
Doc Louis: *dressed up as Santa Claus* Ho, ho, ho! Hello, little children around the world! It's me, Santa Claus, bringing you a special holiday-themed episode of "Smash Life". LeVar and Brad were supposed to film another episode this week, but those two went on a brief vacation - probably went out to go look for some ladies to kiss under the mistletoe. So to fulfill the weekly quota, I'm gonna bring all you good boys and girls a special episode of Smash Life revolving around my favorite holiday pastime...Secret Santa!
Zelda: Doc Louis? Is that you? *shows up* I thought you gave up on being Santa Claus last year.
Doc Louis: Well I was retired...but only for a year. Just so I could avoid those Koopaling brats. Back in the groove now!
Zelda: Uh huh...then I suppose that you're going to let the Koopalings sit on your lap this year.
Doc Louis:...yeah, I'm gonna leave that one up to Rodin. He's got a Santa costume hanging around, he can do it.
Zelda: You're right...I should go see if he's busy. *leaves*
Doc Louis: Anyways...Secret Santa is a very awesome tradition, because you get to buy a special someone a very special Christmas gift! The point of Secret Santa is to keep your identity a secret, but here in the Smash Mansion, it's hard to keep ANYTHING a secret. Every year, the mansion residents always do Secret Santa, and when you include the Assist Tower and the neighboring families...every Secret Santa at the mansion is big. And this year was absolutely no exception!
It was that time of the year again, that time for Christmas - which meant that it was time for Master Hand to conduct another Secret Santa gift exchange. The exchange would take place on Sunday, the very first day of December, and Master Hand gathered everyone inside the newly expanded meeting room. The mansion residents, the tower denizens, the Mario Bros and their folks, and also their neighbors...everyone that was living on the mansion grounds were in the meeting room, ready to pick names.
For Ruby Rose and Weiss Schnee, this occasion would mark the first time that the two young ladies were in the mansion. As expected, people were beyond ecstatic to see Ruby and Weiss in person, never believing in a million years that they would see them in the flesh. And as expected, Slippy Toad was the most excited out of everyone else...
"Can you believe it, Peppy, Ruby Rose is actually here!" Slippy told Peppy, as he was hugging Ruby in the meeting room. Ruby was left smiling, wondering when (and also if, at all) Slippy would let her go.
"I do believe it, now let go of her this instant," commanded Peppy, as Weiss was standing next to the hare and having some sympathy for Slippy. Must not like coming in contact with frogs, let alone being in the presence of one.
"Thanks for expanding the meeting room, Mr. Game and Watch," Master Hand thanked the 2-D man, watching as people were still filing into the meeting room. There was as much pushing and shoving, compared to earlier instances. "I know it must've taken a toll on your time..."
"Ah, don't mention it, Master Hand," replied Mr. Game and Watch, who was pretty tired; expanding the meeting room took the life out of him. "I will admit, some sacrifices had to be made..."
"Master Hand, whatever happened to my room?" questioned King Dedede after he entered the meeting room, carrying a pillow. "One minute I got kicked out of my room and night, and had to sleep in the living room...and the next thing I know, that morning, my room just disappeared!"
"It's my room too, ya know..." King K. Rool confronted King Dedede, sporting red eyes - looking like he hadn't sleep in ages. "At least you had the comfort of sleeping in the living room...I spent the entire night on the hallway floor!"
"Yeah, wonder how that could've happened..." Mr. Game and Watch chuckled nervously, backing away from King dedede and King K. Rool to save himself an inevitable beatdown before running off.
Mr. Game and Watch: Once again, a few sacrifices had to be made...but it was all for the greater good. King Dedede and King K. Rool may not have a bed to sleep in as of the moment, but I'm sure that those two could bunk with Berkut and Rinea. They do have the "royal prestige" that Berkut is apparently so fond of.
Once everyone was in the meeting room, it was time to pick names. Isabelle would walk around the meeting room with a bag, and everyone had to pick a name out from said bag.
"Remember, everyone, don't look at your slip of paper until everyone has drawn a name," commanded Master Hand; Ryuji looked at his slip of paper in secret, before putting it in his pocket after heeding Master Hand's command. "I'd hate to do this all over again..."
"Quick question - what if you pull the name of a person that you don't particularly like?" asked Iori, as he raised his hand; the jazz musician wished to spend his money appropriately, and for the right person.
"You're pretty much stuck with the person you selected, no take-backs."
"Oh, I see...so if I'm forced to buy that person a gift, can I just..."
"And no, you can't claim that you were sick. No excuses whatsoever."
"Master Hand can I please go to the bathroom?" asked Pit as he was holding up his hand, while bustling around in his seat. "It's an emergency!"
"Not yet, wait until everyone has picked a name," replied Master Hand - but Pit couldn't afford to wait. He was gonna wet himself at any given minute.
"But Master Hand, I've been holding it in since breakfast! Not my fault I drank an entire gallon of apple juice! Just let me go already!"
"You drank an entire gallon of WHAT?" Palutena frowned at Pit, with a stern face; the goddess hated it when Pit went over the serving size. Which was very common.
"Pit, I'm not gonna hold off the Secret Santa festivities because you chose to act like an idiot. You should've known better than to..."
"Alright, all done!" exclaimed Isabelle, once everyone had picked a name. A mere moment after Isabelle's announcement, Pit let out a heavy sigh of relief, as those sitting near the angel moved away for their own good.
"...thank you for ruining that chair, Pit." Now that everyone had picked a name, it was time for the real fun to begin. "Okay everyone, open up your slips of paper and see what name you drew."
So everyone took out their small slip of paper, and opened it and saw a printed name. Some were excited, some were neutral, and some even wanted a do-over.
"Nice, I got Ashley," said Cloud, who has grown more appreciative of Secret Santa over time. "Sure hope that girl likes Pennywise dolls..."
"Aw, what, I got Banjo?" frowned Berkut, as he looked at the bear in question with heavy contempt. Banjo, who had pulled Samus' name, looked towards Berkut with a smile and wave, as Berkut cringed. "Anyone want to trade names?"
"Are you people that stupid?" questioned Master Hand, upon hearing Berkut's request that reeked of desperation. "WE. ARE NOT. TRADING. NAMES! Better put up or shut up!"
"I picked...the goose?" Tiki furrowed her brow when she read the name on her slip of paper, before she heard a honking sound nearby. The goose showed up, dropping his slip of paper on the floor; coincidentally, the goose picked Cortex's name.
"Look, Uka, guess whose name I pulled!" a giddy Cortex showed the floating mask his slip of paper, as Uka tried his darndest to care. "It's Tiki! It's all coming together now..."
"Please don't let this be an omen..." sighed Uka, as Cortex and Tiki being romantically intertwined was the last thing that the floating mask wanted.
Doc Louis: So as you can see, Secret Santa at the Smash Mansion is always serious business! But nobody takes it more seriously than Chrom, who is always looking out for his daughter, Lucina!
Pit: *shows up* Doc Louis, why are you dressed up as Santa Claus? Everyone knows that Santa Claus is never depicted as being black!
Doc Louis: Yeah, and I thought that you didn't see color...is that not the whole point of your fantasy football team? My race should be the very least of your concerns, boy!
Pit: Doc Louis if you don't take off that Santa Claus get-up, then I'm gonna tell on you for cultural appropriation...
Doc Louis: And I'm gonna tell on YOU for drinking all the eggnog in the fridge!
Pit: *bites lower lip* ...ah, you got me. But let this be a warning, Doc Louis... *points at Doc Louis, before walking away*
Doc Louis: Anyways, before I was interrupted...Chrom is always looking out for Lucina, and when it comes to Secret Santa, he always wants to be in the know in regards to what gift Lucina will be getting. And I gotta say, Chrom can be very persistent...
Knuckles was in the recording studio, recording some holiday-themed rap songs for his holiday mixtape. Pichu was seated behind the soundboard, wearing some headphones and making some beats for Knuckles.
"Pichu can you cut off the music for a second?" Knuckles asked the tiny mouse Pokemon, after he was done dropping some Yuletide bars. The echidna left the recording booth, putting his headphones away. "Gonna grab me a bottle of water. Kinda thirsty right now!"
Right before Knuckles could leave the recording studio, Chrom instantly showed up as he stormed his way inside. Knuckles was nearly caught off-guard, as he fell down unto the floor.
"Hi Knuckles, I just wanted to speak with you about Lucina," Chrom told the echidna, who reached for a nearby chair to pull himself up to his feet. "Did you know that Lucina likes wearing boots?"
"Very cool, man, very cool story," replied Knuckles as he tried to leave the recording studio. But Chrom would obstruct the echidna's path. "Now can you let me leave already so I can get some water?"
"Hold on, I'm not done yet...Lucina also likes bedroom slippers. She has two or three pairs - a few of them have worn out."
"Again, that's very cool, now get outta my way so I can leave!" No matter which direction or which turn Knuckles made, Chrom was simply one step ahead.
"Oh, and Lucina could also use a sleeping mask. She's been having trouble sleeping as of late, and I want her to have a good night's sleep..."
"Look, why the heck are you telling me this crap for? You act like I'm supposed to care about your stupid daughter."
"You are Lucina's Secret Santa, is that right? Therefore, you should be privy to know what things Lucina likes, in time for the gift exchange. Otherwise, she would think differently of me if she gets a gift she doesn't like!"
Knuckles would just stare at Chrom with an angry scowl, before kicking the prince in the shin. Chrom yelped in pain and fell down on one knee, as an annoyed Knuckles left the recording studio.
"I think...you should go for...the bedroom slippers..." Chrom told Knuckles long after the echidna had left, as Pichu came over to massage the prince's shin.
xxxxxxxxxxxx
Akuma had went to the bathroom, just so he could, well, use the bathroom. But that was only part of the reason. The other reason was because Akuma was avoiding Chrom, who was annoying the fighter about what gift he was gonna get for Lucina during the Secret Santa gift exchange.
Akuma enlisted in the help of Link and Zelda to hide away from Chrom, but the efforts of the two Hylians wasn't enough to keep Chrom away. So Akuma waited in the bathroom for a few minutes, and when the time was right, the fighter opened the bathroom door...
"Hi Akuma!" greeted Chrom, the person standing behind the bathroom door. Akuma screamed and slammed the door shut, before locking it and hiding in the shower.
"Stay away from me, man!" shouted Akuma as he pulled the shower curtains in front of him. The fighter could hear knocking on the door, which made him anxious. "What part of 'stay away' do you not understand?!"
"Relax, Akuma - it's me, Tsubasa!" replied Tsubasa, from behind the bathroom door, as Akuma let out a sigh of relief. "Can you let me in? Got an ugly pimple on my face that I gotta get rid of..."
"One moment..." Akuma pulled away the shower curtains and climbed out of the shower, on his way to the bathroom door. Akuma then opened the door, and saw Tsubasa standing by...
...only for Chrom to come in and shove Tsubasa to the side, sending her flying unto the floor. It was a pretty nasty fall, too.
Tsubasa: *covering hand over the side of her face* Well I finally got rid of the pimple thanks to Chrom, but on the downside... *pulls hand away* ...I got all this pus running down my face. No matter what I do, I can't make it stop somehow. Itsuki and I were supposed to go out shopping later...I can't go like this!
"So Akuma, have you decided on what to get for Lucina?" Chrom asked the fighter as he rubbed his hands together. "It better be good!"
"I have decided on Lucina's gift, actually," replied Akuma, getting Chrom all excited. "Wait right here..." So Chrom stood where he was, as Akuma brushed past the prince and made a run for it.
"I'm waiting!" Chrom was so excited, that it took him a while to realize that Akuma had deserted him. "Oh, he left me...welp, back to searching, then."
xxxxxxxxxxxx
Samus was in the workshop, working hard. And whenever Samus was working hard, it meant that you shouldn't bother the bounty hunter, even on her best day. Sadly, some folks at the mansion never got the memo.
One of those folks happened to be Chrom, who had learned that Samus was Lucina's Secret Santa. The prince tip-toed his way inside the workshop, seeing that Samus was very busy, and kept quiet.
"Psst, Samus, you got a minute?" Chrom whispered to Samus, keeping his voice very low so he wouldn't hurt Samus' focus.
"Go ahead, shoot," replied Samus, not even looking up from the desk she was working at. That was how focused the bounty hunter was.
"So I know that you're buying a gift for Lucina, and I just wanted to know if you decided on what you're getting for my daughter. I know we already did the..."
Chrom soon became silent, when Samus got up from her chair and took out her Plasma Gun, pointing it straight at Chrom's head. Samus was looking dead serious, as she stared deep into Chrom's soul.
"Mention anything about buying Lucina her Secret Santa gift to me, and I promise you it'll be your last time breathing," Samus told the extremely afraid Chrom, before cracking a slight smile. "Understood?"
"Yes, yes, understood," Chrom nodded his head nervously, before exiting the workshop with his life still intact. "Sorry for bothering you, Samus." Her smile still intact, Samus put her Plasma Gun back where it was before resuming her work.
Doc Louis: Ho, ho, ho! Samus scared Chrom so much last year, that Chrom vowed to never annoy Lucina's Secret Santa person ever again. Meowth is gonna be thanking Samus later, I tell you what. But aside from Chrom, there were other folks that tend to take very Secret Santa seriously - and we ain't even talking about Master Hand! Or Crazy Hand! Let me show you one in particular...
Coco was standing in front of the Christmas tree with Crash and Aku, admiring all the decorations and the many presents that were under the tree. As the blonde bandicoot continued to marvel, she heard some sounds nearby.
"You guys hear that sound?" Coco asked Crash and Aku, who were looking around for the sound in particular. "Sounds like he's coming from a few feet away."
"Must be Lady Palutena dicing some potatoes," assumed Aku, as Crash saw someone sitting on a living room couch. "Probably making some potato salad...thank goodness I'm in no shape to eat it!"
"Woah!" shouted Crash, pointing at the person sitting on the couch. Coco saw some brown, spiky hair as she came over to the couch, figuring that it was Sora.
And it turns out she was right, as the blonde bandicoot saw Sora sitting on the living room couch typing away on a laptop. Not just any laptop - Coco's laptop. Furthermore, Sora was holding a credit card, and kept looking from the laptop monitor to the card, and then back to the monitor as he typed some info in.
"Sora, is that my laptop?" Coco questioned the Keyblade wielder, grabbing his attention; Sora looked up at the frowning Coco, with an innocent smile that only a kindergarten teacher would fall for.
"No, I don't think it is," replied Sora, before swinging around on the couch and turning away from Coco. Crash and Aku came over to Coco, taking a look at whatever Sora was doing.
"Also is that Wario's credit card?" Coco took a gander at the credit card in Sora's hand, and saw Wario's name on it. Sora quickly stashed the card underneath the couch cushions.
"Nah, it's some credit card I found lying around an ATM machine one day. Finders keepers!" After keying in Wario's credit card information, Sora was ready to confirm his online purchase.
"Sora how many things are you purchasing?!" questioned Aku, seeing that Sora added A LOT of items to his online shopping cart. Had up to a hundred items in total. "Trying to put Wario in debt?"
"I'm just setting myself up for future Secret Santa gift exchanges. That way, I won't have to go through all the trouble of shopping for that special someone! Better yet, everyone else can use a gift that I bought for their own Secret Santa! Talk about thinking ahead, amirite?"
Once Sora confirmed his gargantuan purchase, the Keyblade wielder closed down Coco's laptop, and handed the device back to Coco. He then left the living room, and Wario would show up moments later.
"Have you two fur balls seen my credit card anywhere?" the fatso asked Crash and Coco, as the former pulled out Wario's credit card from underneath the couch cushions. Crash handed the card to Wario, who snatched it and walked away.
Wario: Dang it, for some reason the savings in my checking account is in the red. I couldn't have bought that many beauty products for my sweet Lady Palutena!...Do I eat Palutena's potato salad? Uh...lemme get back to you on that.
xxxxxxxxxxxx
Mario stood at the window in his living room, watching as a UPS delivery man was unloading packages out from his delivery truck. All those packages contained gifts that Sora had purchased with Wario's card.
"Wario just called, wouldn't stop complaining about his checking account," Cappy alerted Mario, before looking out through the window and seeing the packages from the UPS truck. "Ooh, are those all Christmas gifts?"
"If they are, then I know where-a Wario's money went..." said Mario, before taking a sip from a cup of coffee he was holding in his hand.
xxxxxxxxxxxx
Mario and Joker were in the storage room, as the two men were looking for Christmas gifts. Specifically, the gifts that Sora had ordered. All the gifts were still inside cardboard boxes, and both Mario and Joker had boxes aplenty in their grasp.
"Take as many boxes as you can-a get," Mario told Joker, as he was holding a tower of boxes above his head. Such great balance. "We're gonna donate-a these gifts to a home-a less shelter."
"Why did he purchase so much stuff for?" questioned Joker, grabbing as many boxes as he could hold. "Guess nobody taught him to spend wisely."
"Cloud was supposed-a to teach him - and you know probably know how that turned-a out. Now let's-a go..." So Mario and Joker left the storage room with their boxes, and ran into Sora as the entered the hallway.
"Hey guys, what's with all those boxes?" Sora asked Mario and Joker, when he recognized that the boxes had the gifts he purchased a year back.
"We're planning on donating them to a homeless shelter," replied Joker, making sure that none of the boxes in his possession fell unto the floor. "It's Christmas Eve, so it's the thought that counts."
"Funny you should mention that...because I donated a bunch of gifts to the homeless shelter already!" Mario and Joker were shocked at Sora's confession, with the former having his mouth agape.
"You did WHAT?!" exclaimed Mario; if Sora had purchased more gifts with Wario's credit card, then that would pretty much spell the end for the Keyblade wielder.
"Yeah, I kinda borrowed Heihachi's debit card, and used it to buy as many gifts as possible. Donated 'em all to the homeless shelter. Now all the homeless people have a Secret Santa that they could look up to!"
"SOOOOOORRRRRAAAAA!" Heihachi was heard shouting from down the hallway, easily the most angered person in the mansion. His banking account must be in an utter mess right now.
"Gotta run!" Sora would give Mario and Joker the two-finger salute, before darting down the hallway. Heihachi ran past Mario and Joker, screaming angrily as he chased after Sora, as Mario dropped the boxes and fell to his knees.
"Is it too late to donate these gifts to the Boys and Girls Club?" Joker asked Mario, who was devastated over Sora doing his charitable deed.
Doc Louis: Man, watching that footage almost made me realize how much I miss Sora...sure that boy was naive, but he was always great company. If only Cloud taught that boy how to spend wisely, especially with other people's credit cards. You can't just mess around with someone's money like that, man! Speaking of spending wisely, there have been some folks who have made some very...questionable purchases.
While he was at the mall shopping for a gift for Mario, Bowser encountered Phoenix Wright and Maya Fey outside a clothing store. The koopa king would ask the duo for some gift suggestions, while making some gift proposals of his own.
"I can a hundred percent confirm that buying poison for somebody as a Secret Santa gift is illegal in most countries," Phoenix told Bowser, who grunted as he snapped his fingers in disgust. "Please don't put yourself in jail..."
"You're an attorney, aren't you Phoenix?" asked Bowser, who desired to kill off Mario so he could secure Peach - who was engaged to Mario, at the time. "You could be the one to bail me out of trouble!"
"No thanks, Bowser, I got Snake off the hook a month ago, for his jailbreak. No way am I gonna involve myself in your shenanigans!"
"Fine then, have it your way..." So Bowser walked away from Phoenix and Maya, before returning to the two so he could ask one more question. "...is it true that dark chocolate can kill?"
"Let's go, Maya..." Phoenix would grab his assistant's hand and walk away, distancing himself from Bowser.
xxxxxxxxxxxx
Kamui was in her room, looking inquisitively at Corrin who was brushing the hair of a Chia pet. The Chia pet already had its chia grown out.
"Olimar would greatly appreciate this Secret Santa gift I got for him," Corrin told Kamui, who had every right in the world to judge her twin brother at this moment. "Who doesn't love a good Chia pet?"
"I believe the whole point of the Chia pet is to let the person receiving it to grow the chia instead..." Kamui pointed out - no point in even having a Chia pet if someone like Corrin did all the hard work for you.
"That was the original intention, but I had bought this Chia pet before we exchanged names. But it's no big deal - Olimar will greatly appreciate this Yoda Chia pet."
"Corrin...that's a Gremlin, not Yoda." In defense of Corrin, the chia pet had pointy-ears, and its head shape strongly resembled Yoda's.
"Gremlins are baby Yodas, in case you weren't aware...almost certain that a baby Yoda would be a hit, a few years from now. Would you be a dear, sister, and fetch me some wrapping paper?"
xxxxxxxxxxxx
Impa was standing impatiently outside the bathroom door in the mansion, waiting to get inside. Inside the bathroom was Captain Falcon, who was taking an awfully long time.
"Captain Falcon please can you hurry up?" Impa asked the racer, before banging on the bathroom door with his fist. "I refuse to use the bathroom at Mario's place...who knows if that toilet is even properly working."
"Almost done, gotta put on my mankini!" responded Captain Falcon, as the word "mankini" caused Impa to furrow her brow. It was a unique word that the Sheikah had never heard of before.
"What in Hylia's name is a mankini...?" Captain Falcon would provide the answer for Impa, as he stepped out of the bathroom wearing a blue sling swimsuit. Impa cringed, as Captain Falcon stood proudly with a smile on his face and his hands on his hips, while sporting his rather questionable swimwear.
"Well, Impa, how do I look?" Captain Falcon showed off his sling swimsuit to Impa, before turning around and flexing his muscles. Impa saw Falcon's exposed buttocks, and grimaced as she shielded his eyes.
Captain Falcon: Yoshi got me this mankini as my Secret Santa gift, and I gotta say...it was the most shrewd purchase that green dinosaur has ever made. That's a guy who knows how to spend his money.
Lucina: *walks by, before walking away with her eyes closed* Ugh, Captain Falcon...please put some pants on, for crying out loud!
Captain Falcon: You can't wear pants when you have on a mankini, everyone knows that, Lucina!
"Why did Yoshi have to buy you that as a Secret Santa gift..." wondered Impa, who was still shielding her eyes. The coast was clear once Captain Falcon turned back around, although the sight was still disturbing to Impa.
"I'm gonna be wearing this mankini until the end of the year, mark my words," guaranteed Captain Falcon, slowly falling in love with his sling swimsuit. Might be the only person that actually liked it.
"Just so you could scar everyone for life? I highly doubt that anyone thinks that swimsuit looks good on you." Impa would turn out to be wrong, as Captain Falcon's girlfriend Nowi showed up and smiled at Falcon.
"Oh my, you look even better in that mankini than I expected!" the half-Manakete exclaimed, as she lunged towards Captain Falcon and hugged her boyfriend. "You look AMAZING!"
"Aw, don't flatter me like that, babe!" grinned Captain Falcon as Impa shook her head at Nowi, wondering what kind of taste in fashion the half-Manakete had. "Say, you wanna go take some pictures together?"
"With your mankini? Of course!" So Captain Falcon and Nowi walked together down the hallway, hand-in-hand, as Impa caught a glimpse of Falcon's backside. The mere sight caused Impa to grimace and look away as she walked down the opposite direction, deleting the image from her mind.
Doc Louis: That mankini Captain Falcon got from Yoshi... *shudders* ...thank goodness we only get to see Falcon wearing that atrocity every now and then, whenever we go to the beach. I'd like to think that Master Hand held off the amount of times we even go to the beach, just so he could spare us our eyes. Seeing Captain Falcon walk around in that mankini for an entire week was an unwelcome sight! Sadly LeVar and Brad weren't around at the time, to keep Falcon in check...
While buying a Secret Santa gift for Captain Falcon is easy, the same can't be said for one particular princess...and that would be Princess Peach. Being a princess and all, Peach has some very high standards for Christmas gifts, and Secret Santa gifts are absolutely no exception! You get that woman a gift she doesn't like, and she won't let you hear the end of it! I'm sure Sonic learned that the hard way...
Sonic went out shopping for a gift for Peach at Walmart, and he brought Tails along to serve as his "moral compass". While Sonic was in the women's section looking for a gift, Tails was minding his own business and working on some gadget.
"Yo, Tails, can you do me a solid?" Sonic asked the yellow fox, who stopped working on his gadget and glanced at his best friend. "Can you take out your phone, and Google 'great Christmas gifts for women'?"
"Shouldn't you have asked me to do that on our way here?" questioned Tails, placing his gadget down on the floor as he took out his cellphone. "Also, you're the one buying the gift. You should have come up with something!"
"Hey, it's not like I'm some kind of expert on women! Heck, I don't even know the kind of girly stuff that Amy likes! It's a miracle that we're still..."
Sonic suddenly gasped, when he looked ahead and saw Peach, happily shopping for groceries in the produce section. The hedgehog would grab Tails, and hid behind one of the shelves, out of sight and out of mind.
"What's going on, who are we hiding from?" Tails whispered to Sonic, who shushed the yellow fox as he looked behind the shelf. Sonic saw Peach placing some cabbage into her shopping cart, and walking away.
"Peach is here, and we can't let her see us...I mean, me," stated Sonic as he pulled Tails away from the shelf, before walking away as fast as possible. "We should go to the beauty section - Peach can't find us there!"
"I hope you're not buying Peach a beauty product for Secret Santa. Knowing her, she has as much beauty stuff as it is!"
"Good thinking, Tails! Google 'beauty products as Christmas gifts for women'. Always thinking one step ahead, I like that!"
"What would you do without me, Sonic..." So Tails did the Google search on his phone, as he and Sonic arrived at the beauty section. Sonic looked around, and saw that the coast was clear.
"Look, Tails, we're on camera!" Sonic pointed up at a security camera on an overhead television screen, and saw himself and Tails standing together. Sonic waved at the television screen like a little kid.
"And there's somebody approaching us from behind," observed Tails, as he saw a woman wearing a pink dress approaching Sonic and Tails with her shopping cart. Sonic furrowed his brow at the individual in question, before turning around...
"Hi, Sonic and Tails!" Peach smiled and waved to the hedgehog and yellow fox, as the former screamed and hid behind the latter. "Saw you two heading to the beauty section from where I was, so I wanted to come over and say hi."
"Tell her to go away..." Sonic whispered to Tails, as he had his head turned away from Peach. He refused to turn his head back around until Peach was long gone.
"So what are you boys doing in the beauty section?" Here came the moment of truth. "No offense, but you two don't seem that interested in personal grooming."
"Uh, no reason, no reason at all..." Tails nervously chuckled, as he placed his hands where his pockets would be. "...totally not like Sonic and I are shopping for your Secret Santa gift or anything." Realizing what he said, Tails covered his mouth as Sonic glared down the yellow fox.
"You're seriously buying me a beauty product as a Secret Santa gift...?" Peach's eye began to twitch, as an unfamiliar indignation was built up inside the princess. Sonic and Tails backed away, but Peach drew closer and closer.
"Not just any beauty product...a hair care product!" replied Sonic, as Peach grew angrier by the minute. Neither Sonic nor Tails had ever seen Peach so pent up with frustration before. "One for your luscious, blonde hair! Best of its kind!"
"Do you not have any standards?!" Peach was mainly furious with Sonic, as she shoved Tails to the floor just so she could confront the now intimidated hedgehog. "Why do you think that I would want a hair product for Christmas?!"
"Chill out Peach, it was just a joke! I wasn't being serious!" But Peach wouldn't take it lightly, as she grabbed a few hair combs from a nearby shelf. The princess held the combs in an intimidating manner, as Sonic fell on his back and crawled away. "Chill out!"
"Who knew that Peach could be so aggressive..." remarked Tails as he pulled himself up to his feet, before he heard the sound of Sonic screaming in peril. Tails looked over, and saw his best friend being physically harassed by Peach.
"Tails, don't just stand there like a stupid idiot, help me!" Sonic called out to the yellow fox, who took a few steps back before darting away. Tails obviously didn't want any smoke, and who could blame him?
xxxxxxxxxxxx
Tails: Left my gadget on the floor, thanks to Sonic, and now it went missing at Walmart! Somebody must've found it and took it home. Sure hope they didn't think that it was a Christmas gift of any kind.
Later that day, Sonic was in the fitness center, being tended to in Leia's office by none other than Leia. The hedgehog had a few cuts across his face and torso, and Leia was applying some hydrogen peroxide to said cuts.
"Stop that, it stings!" Sonic pleaded to Leia, wincing in pain as Leia applied the hydrogen peroxide with a cotton ball. "Why does it have to sting so much for?"
"That's how you know it's working," replied Leia, before tossing the used-up cotton ball in a nearby trash can. "I'll be right back with the bandages." So Leia left her office, as Lucario came inside the office limping on one leg.
"Whatever happened to you?" Lucario asked Sonic, as he limped over to one of the patient beds; the aura Pokemon had went sledding with his love interest, Lopunny, and injured himself in a nasty sled accident.
"Got beat up my Peach, at a Walmart store," replied Sonic, as Lucario laughed at the hedgehog in a manner that was very uncharacteristic of him. "Quit laughing, it wasn't that funny..."
Doc Louis: Peach was a pretty happy that year, when Sonic bought her a new mixer as a Secret Santa gift. Light years better than some lousy hair product, if you ask me. And Peach, well, she got the Black Knight the gizmo that Tails lost at Walmart as his Secret Santa gift! Even claimed it was the easiness gift ever, since she "didn't have to spend a single penny"! Fortunately for Tails, he got his gizmo back before the Black Knight could turn it into a tea machine or something. The cotton candy maker Tails bought for the Black Knight was enough to compensate for...what is that terribly loud sound?!
Black Knight: *shows up* Hey Doc Louis, do you want some cotton candy?
Doc Louis: I can't hear you, what did you say?
Black Knight: I said, do you want some cotton candy?
Doc Louis: Sorry, I can't hear you over the sound of that stupid cotton candy maker, could you repeat that?
Black Knight: I SAID, DO YOU WANT SOME COTTON CANDY?!
Lloyd: *shows up* GUYS, WHY ARE WE AGGRESSIVELY SHOUTING FOR?! CAN I JOIN TOO?!
Doc Louis: Go away, Lloyd, you're not relevant to the conversation!
Lloyd: CAN YOU REPEAT THAT, YOU'RE TOO QUIET!
Doc Louis: I said...you know what, screw this, I'm outta here... *gets up and walks away*
Black Knight: DOC LOUIS, DO YOU STILL WANT SOME COTTON CANDY?! *chases after Doc Louis* IT'S CHRISTMAS-THEMED!
Lloyd: THERE'S COTTON CANDY?! WHY DIDN'T YOU GUYS TELL ME?! *chases after the Black Knight*
Doc Louis: *sitting in a new room* Phew...it's much quieter in here. Got away from that cotton candy maker while I could - dumb thing is even louder than I imagined! Good thing that the Black Knight only uses it occasionally. Now to get y'all back on track, I wanna shed some light on Dr. Neo Cortex, who had the easiest job in the world after his Secret Santa person Fiora told him specifically what to get for her. Cortex apparently didn't know who Fiora was at the time, but you best believe that he remembered her name after it was all said and done.
After Fiora straight up told Cortex what she wanted for Secret Santa - due to the mad genius not knowing who the Homs was - Cortex was on a search to find Fiora's preferred gift, which was a pet Nopon. A Nopon was a furry creature that looked like an egg, and spoke in an unusual manner. Riki was a good example of a Nopon.
Little did Cortex know that his search for a Nopon would be nigh difficult, as Nopons lived in foreign locations - regions that Shulk and his pals hailed from. Cortex had no idea had to reach said regions, so he had to ask a few residents for some advice.
"Ever heard of a creature called a Nopon?" Cortex asked Geno in the gaming room, with Uka accompanying him. Geno understandably had no idea what a Nopon was.
"Sounds like the newest toy craze for Christmas," assumed Geno, thinking that Cortex was looking for a Christmas gift to buy for a young niece of his. "Why do you ask, Dr. Cortex?"
"A blonde chick told me that this Fiora girl likes Nopons, so I was wondering if you knew where I would find one." Cortex took out a drawing from his pocket, and showed it to Geno. "I asked the chick for a description of a Nopon, and this is what I drew..."
"That definitely looks like a Furby..." Geno could tell, just by how egg-shaped the creature in the drawing looked. He also knew that the drawing looked nothing close to a Nopon.
"You're right, I might've butchered the drawing..." Having some shame in his lack of artistic ability, Cortex placed the drawing back in his pocket. "...but you know where to find a Nopon, right?"
"I may not know where to find a Nopon..." Geno looked around, making sure that nobody around was listening, before leaning in close to Cortex. "...but I know a guy and a girl that might know. They're foreigners."
"Good enough for me!" The guy and girl being from a foreign land was more than enough for Cortex. "Tell me, what are their names? Where can I find them?"
"They're Rex and Pyra - Rex has on blue attire, and Pyra has on clothing skimpy enough to make you think she came from a nightclub. Can't mistake 'em."
xxxxxxxxxxxx
So Cortex and Uka searched for Rex and Pyra, as they were snooping around the second floor of the mansion. It was at this second floor that they saw Akuma retreating down the hallway, with Rex and Pyra. Rex was holding a shaver in his hand.
"That must be Rex and Pyra," assumed Uka, as the two individuals in question ran past the floating mask and Cortex. Cortex would whistle to Rex and Pyra to grab their attention.
"Yoo hoo, over here!" Cortex waved to Rex and Pyra, who both stopped running. Akuma would stop running as well, as he turned around and frowned at Cortex.
"What do you want, Dr. Cortex, you're holding us up!" the fighter frowned at the mad genius, as Rex and Pyra came over to Cortex and Uka. "Chrom's gonna wake up at any given minute..."
"You two are Rex and Pyra, is that right?" Cortex asked the swordsman and the Blade, who looked at each other for a brief moment before nodding their heads. "Excellent! Because I want to buy someone a Nopon for Christmas..."
"Uh...you can't really buy a Nopon, it doesn't really work that way," chuckled Rex, scratching the back of his head as Pyra smiled lightly. "You can find one in Alrest, but it's so far away..."
"You'd have to ride on Azurda to get to Alrest," added Pyra; Azurda was a kind of Titan in the Xenoblade universe, and Cortex sure as heck had no idea what a Titan was, or where to find one.
"Alrest does sound like a pretty faraway location..." said Cortex as he scratched his chin, before shrugging his shoulders. "...oh well. Guess I'll just get Fiora a Furby as her Secret Santa gift. Unless that blonde girl could give me another suggestion..."
"AAAAAAAHHHHH!" Chrom was heard shouting from down the hallway, having woken up from his nap. Akuma, Rex, and Pyra quickly retreated, all three knowing why Chrom was screaming for.
"What's the matter with Chrom?" Uka asked Cortex, wondering what had gotten into Chrom. The floating mask would soon find the answer, when he and Cortex saw Chrom marching down the hallway...completely bald.
"What happened to my hair?" Chrom angrily questioned, as Cortex and Uka were holding in their laughter. The prince would point accusingly at Cortex. "Was it you who was responsible, Cortex?"
"Ah, yes, blame the ugly yellow man, why don't you..." replied Cortex, as Chrom winded up his arm for a sucker punch "...did I seriously just call myself ugly?"
xxxxxxxxxxxx
Outside a toy store in Seattle, a man from the Salvation Army was ringing a bell at the entrance, standing next to a Salvation Army kettle. A customer whose arm was in a sling exited from the toy store, carrying a shopping bag.
"Care to donate to the Salvation Army, sir?" the Salvation Army man asked the customer, who happened to be accompanied by a floating mask named Uka...the customer was none other than Cortex, who had received a taste of Chrom's fury.
"Screw the Salvation Army..." grumbled Cortex as he walked away, before mumbling to himself. "...sure hope Fiora likes this Furby that I picked out for her."
Doc Louis: Fiora was pretty neutral on her Furby - she didn't expect Cortex to actually get her a pet Nopon, but she didn't expect him to buy her a child's toy, either. But that girl made the most of what she had. Cortex might be an interesting gift buyer, but I'm afraid that Kirby has him beat...
As stated in the past by Samus, Kirby was the strangest gift buyer in all of existence, since he always bought exotic Christmas presents for his fellow residents. So when Kirby pulled Samus' name for Secret Santa, Samus was expecting something out of the ordinary.
"Luigi can you get the door?" a pregnant Daisy asked her husband, while she was adorning her living room with Christmas decorations. "Heard someone knocking and ringing the doorbell."
"Must-a be the FedEx delivery man, with my deep-a fryer," assumed Luigi as he answered the front door, seeing a strange delivery truck driving off. The plumber looked down at the doorstep, and saw a long box. Longer than Luigi expected.
"What could that be, zzrt?" inquired Rotom as it came over, as Luigi picked up the box and closed the door. The plumber found the box very heavy, as he struggled to carry it into the living room.
"This deep-a fryer sure is heavy...and it's pretty long-a too." Luigi was nearly exhausted, as he dropped the box unto the living room couch and took a breather. He got down on one knee, to catch his breath.
"Sweetie, I don't think that's a deep fryer..." said Daisy as she looked at the box, taking a glance at the return label. "...but this package was mailed to our house. The return label has our address!"
"It also says that this package came from NME Enterprises, zroom," stated Rotom as it read the return label; upon hearing NME Enterprises being mentioned, Luigi and Daisy glanced at one another with knowing looks.
"Kirby..." Luigi and Daisy said together, in perfect unison, before Daisy tore off the tape and opened the box. Inside the princess saw a high-tech space rifle gun.
"That looks pretty dangerous, zroom!" remarked Rotom, as Daisy tried to lift the rifle gun out from the box. Even she couldn't handle the gun's heaviness, as she fell back and nearly fell.
"Daisy, watch-a out!" Luigi cried out as he grabbed the rifle gun from his wife in the nick of time - which prevented the pregnant Daisy from falling on the floor. That would've been disastrous. Luigi was now holding the gun, his legs trembling due to how heavy it was...and how frightening it looked.
"You sure you can handle that?" Daisy asked her husband, who couldn't handle it at all as he was getting all exhausted again. "Need me to help you hold it?"
"No thanks, I'm good..." Suddenly Luigi accidentally pulled the trigger on the rifle gun, and fired a plasma beam that was sent out through the open screen door. Luigi, Daisy, and Rotom just stood there in shock, as Yuffie showed up.
"Hey guys, what did I miss?" Yuffie asked Luigi and company, after hearing the sound from the rifle gun firing. She saw the rifle gun in question, and was intrigued. "Oh cool! You actually ordered a gun, Luigi?"
"I wouldn't say that i ordered it..." replied Luigi, only for Yuffie to snatch the gun away from the plumber. "...hey, give-a that back! You don't know-a what it can do!"
"Which is exactly why I'm borrowing it, to see for myself. I mean, what could possibly go wrong?"
xxxxxxxxxxxx
Later that day, Toon Link and Ryu were watching the late night news in the living room, when a news segment was shown that caught the attention of both the Hylian and the fighter. It was the headline that drew the two in.
"'Miniature Village Discovered in Seattle Metropolitan Area'...?" Ryu read the headline out loud, as he raised an eyebrow. That was a headline you don't see everyday
"Reporters have stumbled upon what appears to be an extremely small village, within the confides of the metropolitan area," the reporter reported, as she was kneeling down at a small village with houses. Looked like an average neighborhood, but shrunk down to size. "There are believed to be people residing in this village, although they are small and unnoticed by the naked eye."
"Told you that the Picori existed..." Toon Link told Ryu in a bragging manner, acting like he saw the Picori in person. He only read about them in Hyrulain literature. Just then Master Hand appeared, looking very panicked - which was often hard to tell.
"Guys, have you seen the Duck Hunt Dog around?" the giant hand asked Toon Link and Ryu, who both shook their heads no. "Last time I saw him, he was peeing in Luigi's backyard...hope he didn't run away!"
Doc Louis: As it turns out, the Duck Hunt Dog didn't run away...he was accidentally shrunken by Luigi, with that rifle gun. That gun turned out to be Kirby's Secret Santa gift for Samus, and Luigi and Daisy did a good job putting that gun back in the box. Otherwise there'd be trouble! Yuffie kinda confessed to messing around with the gun after Samus had received it, and admitted on going on a reign of terror and shrinking everything in sight - including that "village"! Which, really, was a large neighborhood. While the neighborhood was restored to its original status - as well as the Duck Hunt Dog - Toon Link to this day is still certain that the Picori live in Seattle...
Young Link: Delusional Starsky here thinks that the Picori live in Seattle, of all places. He also thinks that they celebrate Christmas, too!
Toon Link: They do celebrate Christmas, Hutch, I can confirm it! How else can you explain how toys on the shelves get restocked quickly during the frenetic holiday season? It's the Picori's doing! They're like miniature little elves!
Young Link: Show me a Picori right now and I'll believe you.
Toon Link: *digs into his pocket*
Young Link: Without using a magnifying glass.
Toon Link: *digs into his other pocket*
Young Link: Or a flashlight.
Toon Link: *grumbles* One day you'll see, Hutch, one day...
Doc Louis: Secret Santa is always a good thing, but it's never good when you annoy the person buying you a gift about what you want. That defeats the whole purpose! Ruins the element of surprise! Waluigi wouldn't stop irritating Tsubasa when it came to Secret Santa, and boy did he test that woman! Almost pushed her to the limit!
Tsubasa was feeling hungry, and went to the one place where she could quench her hunger - the kitchen. The idol singer decided to indulge herself with some Ramen noodles, which were up in the cupboard.
"Teriyaki chicken, or chicken tortilla...?" Tsubasa said to herself, undecided on what flavor she should choose, as she opened the cupboard. The idol singer screamed and jumped back, when she saw Waluigi hiding in said cupboard.
"Hi Tsubasa, knew that I'd find you here!" Waluigi greeted the alarmed Tsubasa as he awkwardly climbed out from the cupboard, before sitting on the kitchen counter. "Just got through sitting on Mario's lap, in case you were wondering."
"And you're telling me this because...?" Tsubasa took as many steps back as possible, as Waluigi pulled out a long list. A list he had shown to Mario earlier.
"You're the person buying me a gift for Secret Santa, right? I wanna have a little chit-chat with you, and tell you some of the things that I want for Christmas."
"I think that's up to me to decide what you want. Wouldn't you giving me suggestions ruin the surprise?"
"I don't care about 'being surprised', I just want to receive the things that I want for Christmas! Is that so hard to ask?"
"I should get going..." No longer worried about eating some Ramen noodles, Tsubasa ran away while she could. Waluigi got down from the kitchen counter, as he snapped his fingers in disgust.
xxxxxxxxxxxx
Trying to figure out what he did wrong, Waluigi retreated back to the Assist Tower to ask Shadow for some suggestions. Shadow was walking through the hallway eating some Christmas cookies, with Waluigi closely following right behind him.
"I wanted to show Tsubasa my Christmas list, but for some strange reason the girl ran away!" Waluigi told Shadow, who couldn't care less about the lanky man's plight. Couldn't care about anyone else, for that matter. "What am I doing wrong?!"
"Your breath stinks...probably scared off Tsubasa with that," responded Shadow, as Waluigi stopped in place and did a sniff test of his breath while Shadow kept on walking. One good whiff and the lanky man was fanning away the fumes.
"Sheesh, Shadow's right, my breath does stink...sadly I used up all my breath mints while trying to woo Lyn, so I'll just go with another option."
xxxxxxxxxxxx
Tsubasa returned to the kitchen after Waluigi had left, and safely got her Ramen noodles without interruption. The idol singer was now sitting in the gaming room, eating her noodles in peace.
"Anyone sitting there?" Donkey Kong asked Tsubasa, approaching the couch that Tsubasa was sitting on. There was a spot on the couch available next to Tsubasa.
"No, you can go ahead," replied Tsubasa, as Donkey Kong was about to sit on the couch. But before the gorilla could sit down, a long arm reached out from in-between the couch cushions, alarming both Tsubasa and Donkey Kong.
"Oh dear, the couch is trying to attack us!" Donkey Kong quickly jumped back, as Tsubasa got up off the couch. Another arm reached out from in-between the couch cushions, as Waluigi pulled himself up out from underneath the couch cushions.
"Thought you could run away from me, didn't you?" the lanky man said to the alarmed Tsubasa, now wearing a surgical mask - mainly to contain his bad breath. "Now let me show you my Christmas list already!"
"Waluigi, relax buddy!" frowned Donkey Kong, as Waluigi advanced towards Tsubasa. DK would stop the lanky man in his tracks, by wrapping his arms around him. "Run, Tsubasa, run while you can!"
"Thank you, Donkey Kong!" Tsubasa thanked the gorilla as she took her noodles and ran out of the gaming room. Once Tsubasa was gone, Donkey Kong finally let go of Waluigi.
"Dang it, Donkey Kong, I was mere moments away from guaranteeing myself the best Secret Santa gift ever!" Technically, it would be Waluigi's first-ever Secret Santa gift, but the first gift was usually the best gift.
xxxxxxxxxxxx
Having been foiled by Donkey Kong, Waluigi retreated to the tower once more to ask Shadow for some advice. He would find the hedgehog in the lobby, inspecting some gifts underneath the Christmas tree.
"Let's see how many people wasted their money on me..." said Shadow, inspecting any Christmas presents that were addressed to him. Waluigi would slowly approach Shadow from behind, quiet as a mouse.
"Gotcha!" shouted Waluigi as he grabbed Shadow's shoulders. Shadow jumped in fright and turned around, holding out his hand at Waluigi like he was holding a gun. Only thing was, he didn't even have a gun...
"Oh, that's right, I don't even have a gun..." Realizing the error he had made, Shadow put his hand back down. "...stupid tower rules."
Shadow: I don't really ask much for Christmas (I rarely do), but if there's one thing I would want, it would be a new gun. I'd like to think of guns as WMIs...weapons of mass intimidation.
"So I wore a surgical mask to protect my breath, and I tried to speak with Tsubasa about my Secret Santa gift," Waluigi explained to Shadow, who couldn't care less as he resumed inspecting the Christmas gifts. "But Donkey Kong stopped me!"
"Probably because you're ugly," assumed Shadow - wasn't an entirely genuine answer, but Shadow understandably wanted Waluigi to go away and leave him alone. "Ugly dudes always get disrespected, whether they're right or wrong."
"But how do I get rid of my ugliness? I can't trim my mustache, since it's a trademark of mine...but I could wear a mask! That would conceal my ugly mug."
"Yeah, you go ahead and do that..." So Waluigi ran off to go look for a mask while Shadow kept on inspecting the Christmas presents, eventually finding one with his name on it. "'To Shadow, from Nikki'...Nikki, you sure are one awful decision-maker."
xxxxxxxxxxxx
Now wearing Majora's mask, Waluigi was now on the hunt for Tsubasa, content on showing the idol singer his Christmas list. He would find Tsubasa in the Star Records room, speaking with Itsuki.
"Waluigi won't stop bothering me about showing me his stupid Christmas list," Tsubasa spoke with Itsuki, as Waluigi poked his head through the Star Records door waiting to be noticed. "He doesn't seem to trust me in buying him a gift..."
"Um, who's that standing at the door?" questioned Itsuki, as he looked over and pointed at Majora's mask, peeking inside the room. Soon Waluigi came inside the room, doing a dance that Majora's incarnation would be proud of.
"I'm baaaack!" announced Waluigi, and Tsubasa, recognizing Waluigi's voice, screamed as she hid behind Itsuki. "C'mon, Tsubasa, don't be shy! Let me show my list, and get this over with!"
"Waluigi, this has to stop," Itsuki sternly told the lanky man, standing up for his girlfriend like how any great boyfriend would do. "Can't you see what you're doing to Tsubasa? She's practically scared of you!"
"You're right...this mask I have on is too scary. Even made me wet my overalls, when I first put it on. But with the mask, I can do awesome dance moves, like this!"
Waluigi started twirling around the Star Records room, until he couldn't stop twirling on his own. This would be very problematic to Waluigi, as the lanky man twirled towards an open window and fell out through said window, landing on the ground below.
"At least...I went out...in style..." moaned Waluigi, his body wracked in pain as Tsubas and Itsuki peered out through the window down at the fallen Waluigi.
"Would you look at this, he dropped his Christmas list while he was dancing his butt off," said Itsuki, showing Tsubasa the Christmas list Waluigi had dropped unto the floor. Itsuki and Tsubasa would look at the list together. "Let's see what's first on the list...a life-size garden gnome?!"
"And a talking bottle opener?" Tsubasa read the second item on Waluigi's Christmas list, before Itsuki put the list away. "We should burn that list, while we can."
Doc Louis: Tsubasa and Itsuki, they dang sure burned that Christmas list...or at least they shredded it, which still fulfilled the same purpose. Tsubasa also made sure to give Waluigi the worst Secret Santa gift imaginable, just to punish the guy for harassing her. And what did Tsubasa get for Waluigi, you ask? A pair of worn, dried up socks. Quite possibly the worst gift imaginable. While Waluigi wasn't a happy camper, the same couldn't be said for Link, during his quest to buy Sonic a Secret Santa gift.
Link and Sonic were pretty known for not getting along with each other, so when Link drew Sonic's name during the drawing of the names, the Hylian was ticked. Not wanting to go about shopping for a gift on his own, Link enlisted in the help of his buddy Cloud to find a gift for Sonic.
"Remember, you can't buy Sonic a new pair of shoes," Cloud reminded Link, as the two friends entered Dick's Sporting Goods store. "That would be..."
"I know, I know, that would be 'too easy'," Link nodded his head, as he was greeted by the sudden warmth of the store. Sure was cold outside. "Did Zelda tell you to remind me? Good grief, that woman..."
"Don't know why we came here for, not like Sonic would like anything from this place..." Cloud kept on walking, before looking to his left and realizing that Link was no longer with him. The swordsman would turn to his right, and see Link at the assault rifle section of the store.
"How much is the cheapest gun that you have?" Link asked the Dick's employee standing behind the counter, as Cloud came over to the Hylian. "Also, do any of the guns fire bullets backwards."
"They do not, otherwise that would be a technical oversight," replied the Dick's employee, as Cloud joined Link at the counter. "Guns like those wouldn't be sold at stores anyways."
"Thank you for setting my friend straight, sorry he was wasting your time," Cloud told the Dick's employee, grabbing Link by the collar and dragging him away.
"Cloud what are you doing, I was about to get Sonic the perfect gift!" frowned Link, after Cloud dragged the Hylian to the other side of the store. "Woulda been a win-win situation for me and Sonic!"
"Maybe for you, it would be." Cloud looked up, and saw a few fishing rods hanging up on the shelves. "Why not get Sonic a fishing rod?"
"Why would I, when the guy doesn't even like being around..." Link would stop speaking, as a devious idea crossed his mind. "...you know what, buying a fishing rod for Sonic isn't that bad of an investment..."
xxxxxxxxxxxx
Link would use Cloud's money to purchase the fishing rod, and before the Hylian could wrap up Sonic's gift, he had one more thing in mind. He would speak with Ashley, who was in her room practicing some spells.
"Can you make this fishing rod haunted?" Link asked Ashley, showing her the fishing rod. Ashley would just stare at the fishing rod plainly, before looking up at Link who was smiling sweetly.
"What's in it for me?" asked Ashley - couldn't do a favor for anyone without a good enough incentive.
"I'll knit you an ugly Christmas sweater...how does that sound?" The offer sounded enticing to Ashley, who was scratching her chin...
xxxxxxxxxxxx
Aerith came across the knitting club's usual hangout spot, seeing the members knitting their cares away. Yoshi was happy, Toad was nearly as happy, Ashley had a stoic look on her face, and Pac-Man was done with life. Just another typical knitting club meeting.
But what caught Aerith's attention the most was the fifth person, sitting in the back away from the other members...Link, who was knitting an ugly Christmas sweater for Ashley. Aerith approached Link, with an amused smile.
"Funny seeing you here," the flower girl said to Link, who looked up at Aerith before looking back down and knitting even faster. Probably out of guilt.
"Don't tell Cloud or Zelda that I was ever here..." responded Link in a low voice, no doubt certain that Aerith thought less of him. But that would be out of the ordinary for Aerith, wouldn't it?
"Promise I won't tell anyone...unless you tell me why you're knitting that sweater." Aerith looked at the sweater that Link was knitting, and saw that it read, "FEAR ME", in capital letters.
"Uh, I'm just doing a solid for Ashley - if I knit her this sweater, she'll enhance the gift I got for Sonic. My stay in the knitting club is only temporary...right, guys?"
"You wish..." replied Yoshi as he looked at Link with a threatening look. He was the only member of the knitting club that took the club seriously.
"Just let it go, man," Toad told Yoshi, who calmed himself down as he kept on knitting. Good for him for being the voice of reason.
"Can't wait to see that sweater, Link," Aerith told the Hylian, smiling as she left the premises.
Doc Louis: Ashley never really enhanced the fishing rod that Link got for Sonic - he just wanted to toy with Link, and make him a sweater just for her! So Ashley got herself an ugly Christmas sweater, and Sonic just got a lousy fishing rod. I'ma let y'all decide which one of the two was more content with what they got.
Ashley: *wearing her ugly Christmas sweater* Gotta admit, this sweater looks pretty nice on me. And I got Link to knit it for me, free as charged. Really easy to sucker in desperate people.
Doc Louis: As you already know, Bowser had a huge crush on Lara Croft. Bet you he still likes that woman, to this very day. When Bowser learned that Lara picked his name for Secret Santa, he felt like he was at the top of the world! And Lara, well...
Lara was outside Mario's house, pacing back and forth as she was figuring out what gift she should buy for Bowser. The tomb raider had drawn the koopa king's name during the Secret Santa proceedings, and was less than amused.
"How do I even get a gift for Bowser..." Lara thought to herself out loud, while rubbing her chin in thought. Layton and Luke saw Lara outside, and came over to speak with her.
"Something on your mind, Miss Croft?" Layton asked the tomb raider, who stopped pacing back and forth. Being a fellow British person, Layton had pretty great chemistry with Lara.
"I can't decide on what gift I should get for Bowser." Layton knew how frustrated Lara was, as he nodded his head. "He seems like the kind of person that is very hard to impress."
"You should ask the Koopalings about what their father likes," suggested Luke, although Lara wasn't quite on-board. She wanted nothing to do with Bowser's little delinquents.
"I refuse to be within speaking distance with those brats...especially Bowser Jr. He seems to be as fond of me as his father is..."
"Bowser Jr. would be the right person to ask, don't you think, Luke?" Layton asked his apprentice, who nodded his head with a smile. Suddenly, Lara regretted ever speaking with Layton and Luke.
"Well, I beg to differ..." Lara would walk away, as she continued thinking of the perfect gift for Bowser. "...you two better not bring those Koopalings anywhere near me, if you know what's good for you."
xxxxxxxxxxxx
Lara was sitting on a couch in the living room of the mansion, feeling miffed. Not because she couldn't decide on a gift for Bowser, but because Bowser was trying to smooch the tomb raider under the mistletoe.
"Hey Lara, are you gonna help finish the decorations or not?" Peach asked the tomb raider, as she decorating the Christmas tree. She could tell that Lara was visibly disturbed.
"Bowser tried to kiss me under the mistletoe..." said Lara, with a look close to a thousand mile stare. "...that giant turtle tried to kiss me."
"Could've been worse...a green dinosaur could've kissed you on the lips." Honestly Lara preferred any dinosaur over Bowser.
"I don't understand why Bowser is so in love with me...I'm a human, and he's some giant turtle monster. When will he understand?"
"Understand what?" questioned Bowser, returning to the living room after he had annoyed Peach and Lara earlier. "That I'm the dreamiest boyfriend any woman could dream of? Aw, thanks Lara, you shouldn't have!"
"Bowser, can't you just leave us alone?" Peach scolded the koopa king, while she was reaching for the top of the Christmas tree so she could place the star. "We're busy, at the moment.
"Maybe you're busy, but Lara certainly isn't." Bowser would sit next to Lara on the couch, and Lara moved away. Bowser would move closer, and Lara got up from the couch altogether.
"Please don't tell me you brought a mistletoe..." Lara warily said to Bowser, nervous of what the koopa king was trying to pull. "...one attempt was enough."
"I didn't bring a mistletoe, Lara, instead...I bought TWO mistletoes!" Bowser took out two mistletoes, and held it out for an annoyed Lara to see. "Double the fun, and the action!"
"Double the action, hmm? In that case, you wait right here...I should freshen up my breath a bit." So Lara left the living room, with Bowser allowing the tomb raider to take as much time as she needed.
"I should freshen up my breath as well..." Bowser took out a bottle of breath spray, and sprayed it into his mouth. Peach just rolled her eyes, as she continued decorating the Christmas tree.
xxxxxxxxxxxx
Lara refused to return to the living room, so she walked around the first floor of the mansion until she felt like Bowser had left. She would walk around for the entire afternoon, if she had to.
Layton: Lara didn't want to speak with Bowser Jr, because he was an offspring of Bowser. So if Lara doesn't want to come speak with Junior...then we're going to make Junior speak with her.
"Why does that Bowser love me so much..." Lara wondered to herself as she walked through the hallway, before she heard someone clearing their throat. Like someone was trying to garner her attention.
"Psst, over here!" a voice called out to Lara, who turned around and saw Bowser Jr, alone by himself. Lara cautiously walked towards the Koopaling, hoping he had no ulterior motive.
"What do you possibly want?" Lara would look down at Bowser Jr. with her hands on her hips. "You must be turning into your father, having some romantic feelings for me. Just what I needed..."
"No, it's not that! I wanted to speak with you, and give you a little...suggestion." Bowser Jr. handed Lara a cut-out from a Target magazine, and Lara looked at it.
"A portable grill?" Lara looked at the grill shown in the cut-out, before looking at Bowser Jr. "Why are you showing me this for?"
"I thought that maybe you could buy that for my dad, as his Secret Santa gift..." Bowser Jr. was twiddling with his thumbs as he looked down at the floor. "...pops has always wanted a grill, because he thinks it'll make him feel more of a dad. He's very self-deprecating when it comes to being a good father."
"If buying this grill means that much to you, and your dad...then I guess I could buy it." This made Bowser Jr's day, as he looked up at Lara with a smile.
"Really? you'd do that? For real?!" Unknowingly stealing Ryuji's catchphrase, Bowser Jr. had a giant smile on his face, as Lara patted him on the head.
"Since you're looking out for your father, I'll do it. Who knows, maybe you're not as bad as your old man...now if you excuse me, I have to get back to decorating that Christmas tree, before Peach starts panicking."
So Lara returned to the living room, as Bowser Jr. watched the tomb raider walk away with a smile. Layton and Luke would walk up to Bowser Jr. from behind, with the former putting his hand on the Koopaling's shoulder.
"This portable grill...it's made by Traeger, right?" Luke asked Bowser Jr, who kept on watching Lara as he nodded his head. "Oh yeah, Bowser's gonna love it..."
Doc Louis: Hoo boy, you best believe that Bowser loved that portable grill when he got it from Lara...in fact, his love for Lara was multiplied by tenfold that day. His love grew to the point where my man finished up building that bunker underneath Mario's house, just so he could get closer to Lara. He started on the bunker before Christmas and took an extended break because construction was "too hard"...but after that Christmas, after he got the grill? Bowser went back to work in a hurry! Finished up that bunker, and built it out of love!
Now that we got that wholesome bit out of the way, I wanna show you good little boys and girls one last clip of the day. It features an adventure taken by Fox and Falco, and it's a story you gotta see to believe. And believe me, that stuff works all the time. Take it from me, I'm Santa Claus...
Falco was stuck on what Secret Santa gift he should get for Isaac, and when he asked Fox for gift ideas, Fox couldn't come through. However, Fox was determined to help out his best friend, and so he and Falco worked together to find a gift for Isaac soon.
"Your move," Meta Knight told K.K. Slider, as he was playing in a chess match against the hippie dog in his room. K.K. Slider was too busy strumming his guitar to make a move. "I said, your move!"
"Sorry, sometimes playing my guitar helps me think," K.K. Slider apologized as he stopped strumming, before making his move on the chess board. "Boom, check!"
"Ah, well played..." Meta Knight grabbed his queen, and placed it in front of his king. "Now it is you who is in check."
"Groovy move, Meta Knight...now excuse me as I play a tune, to get my brain juices flowin'." After scanning the chessboard, K.K. Slider went back to strumming his guitar, as Meta Knight sighed.
"K.K. Slider, can you do us a favor?" Falco asked the hippie dog, as he and Fox entered the room. "I need to find a Secret Santa gift for Isaac, and fast!"
"A Secret Santa gift, you say?" K.K. Slider stopped strumming his guitar, as a smile slowly came across his face. The hippie dog looked towards Meta Knight. "You thinking what I'm thinking, Meta Knight?"
"I would, though I'm trying to reserve my own judgement," replied Meta Knight, before soon realizing what K.K. Slider was alluding to. "Oh, you're talking about that..community in the metro area?"
"Yeah, yeah, that's the one! With all the mellow people and the dogs running around. They might have Christmas gifts aplenty, I bet."
"...tell us more about this 'community' in the metro area," implored Fox as he eyed around at Meta Knight and K.K. Slider, looking confused as heck.
"It's just something that you gotta see for yourself," replied Meta Knight, as he and K.K. Slider put away the chessboard and the chess pieces. "K.K. Slider and I will take you boys to this community, and find your gift there."
xxxxxxxxxxxx
Fox and Falco set out for the community, with Meta Knight and K.K. slider leading the way. There were two ladies accompanying the four...those ladies being Zelda and Aerith.
"Why are Aerith and I coming along again?" Zelda asked Meta Knight, as the group was venturing into parts unknown. "We're supposed to wrap up some Christmas presents."
"Our chances of getting jumped will decrease if we have strong, hard-nosed women accompanying us," explained Meta Knight, like he was an astute expert on the subject matter. "You and Aerith fit the bill."
"I never really thought of myself as being hard-nosed, to be honest," Aerith said to Zelda, as Meta Knight and company entered a Mexican neighborhood. It was the same neighborhood that Meta Knight went to, in episode 168.
"We're getting closer..." remarked K.K. Slider, as a group of Mexican men approached the group of six. The outlier of the Mexican men - a white guy - stepped to the forefront.
"Hola amigos, welcome back," the white guy greeted Meta Knight and K.K. Slider, as the others were bewildered by the guy's broken Spanish. "I take it that you have brought more amigos."
"They're all from el mansion de Smash, just like me," replied Meta Knight, who seemed to have some history with the white guy speaking. "Puedes llevarnos a la isolated community?"
"Si, si, I can take you all to a la isolated community. Por que are you visiting a la isolated community for?"
"Mis amigos Fox and Falco are looking for a Navidad gift for someone. It's part of a Secret Santa thing that we do."
"Don't think I can stomach this conversation anymore..." Fox whispered to Falco, unnerved by the broken Spanish being spoken. The mixing of the languages was making Fox's head spin.
"Looking for a Navidad present?" the white guy asked, as Meta Knight and K.K. Slider nodded their heads. "Excelente! Mi hombres and I will guide you. Siguenos!"
xxxxxxxxxxxx
The white guy and his Mexican pals led Meta Knight and company to the isolated community, which was just a normal community but run-down and very far away from the city confides. Christmas decorations were at every inch, on every house. Upon arrival, Meta Knight and company were greeted by the people from the community, as they provided an open, narrow path for the visiting residents.
"Um...what are these people doing?" questioned Zelda, as all the members of the community were doing a hand gesture...they were all doing the "loser" hand gesture, as everyone from the little kids to the elderly formed an "L" with their hands.
"Ignore them and keep on walking..." advised K.K. Slider, as the white guy and his friends led the group of residents through the path provided by the community members. Falco saw a toddler giving him the "loser" hand gesture, and was feeling some type of way about it.
Meta Knight: Wario accompanied me to the isolated community to get some garlic, and taught everyone the "loser" hand gesture. Literally convinced everyone to believe that the hand gesture actually meant world peace.
"These people are damaging my self-confidence, and I don't like it," Falco told Fox, baffled by how happy the community members were performing the hand gesture. It was awfully cult-like, in nature.
"Calm your tits, Mr. Insecure," Fox said to Falco, who nudged his best friend in the side. Soon Fox and company reached the end of the path, where they came across a well in the middle of the street.
"The people of a la isolated community go to this well to find many Navidad presents," the white guy explained to Fox and company, but especially Fox and Falco. He was acting like the well was extremely sacred. "The Navidad present you're looking for is down there...if you jump in."
"Bruh I ain't jumping in there..." said a very hesitant Falco as he folded his arms, refusing to move a single inch. But K.K. Slider would push the avian pilot forward.
"Jump in that well and get it over with..." K.K. Slider told Falco, but the avian pilot still refused to budge. Falco looked down the well and saw how deep it was, as he gulped nervously.
"But it's so deep...what if I don't make it out alive?" Falco would hate to be stuck down in the well forever. "How will I ever see Katt again?"
"Just get it over with already!" frowned Aerith as she pushed Falco down the well. Falco was screaming as he fell down into the well before landing with a thud, as everyone looked at Aerith with shocked faces. Aerith could only giggle. "Phew, maybe I am pretty hard-nosed after all..."
"Oh cool, I found a Monopoly board game!" Falco was heard from the bottom of the well, and it sounded like the pilot was just fine. "Isaac would love this! And look, an old Sega Genesis! Might give that one to Katt."
"Can you fellas get Falco out from the well?" Fox asked the white guy and his pals, as the white guy started biting his knuckle. A huge mark of concern to Fox.
"Some perro stole our rope, and it never showed up again..." the white guy confessed, looking down at the ground. Looks like Falco was gonna be stuck in that well for a good while.
"ARE YOU KIDDING ME, A SURFACE PRO 3?!" exclaimed Falco, as he was heard laughing manically. "Oh man, I never wanna leave this well!"
Doc Louis: Enjoyed those videos, you good little boys and girls? I just wanted to share with y'all some of the usual Christmas shenanigans that usually goes down at the Smash Mansion. Secret Santa can make things very hectic!
Rodin: Doc what are you doing, man? *shows up, dressed as Santa Claus* I'm supposed to be Santa! Aren't you retired?
Doc Louis: Like I told Princess Zelda, I only retired just to avoid the Koopalings. They're your problem now!
Rodin: Shoot, Zelda never told me that...got me getting harassed by those stupid kids of Bowser's, you done messed up now, Doc! Now how about you give up your spot, to make up for the trouble I went through?
Doc Louis: Why should I, this episode's almost... *pauses, then smiles* ...you know what, Rodin, I'ma let you finish this episode, in style. You like the sound of that?
Rodin: Eh, better late than never...now get your fat behind off that chair, and lemme show ya how a real Santa Claus does things!
Rodin: *lights cigar in his mouth* Ho, ho, ho...what's poppin', y'all? It's ya boy, Santa Claus, and I just want to wish y'all happy holidays! But that's for all the good kids out there, keeping their chins up and their heads on a swivel. Me, I'm always good, always keepin' it one hunnid!
Pit: There he is, Lady Palutena! *drags Palutena into the room, as he points at Rodin* That's Doc Louis, committing cultural appropriation during the holiday season!
Rodin: Kid, what are you even talking about?
Palutena: *smiles* Pit, that's not Doc Louis...that's Rodin!
Pit: *realizes that it's Rodin, and not Doc Louis* Oh, you're right...but he's still committing cultural appropriation, regardless! He must be punished!
Palutena: You want me to punish Rodin, for dressing up as Santa Claus? That sounds pretty silly, Pit.
Rodin: Yeah Palutena, you tell him. Set that boy straight!
Pit: Well, um, uh...Rodin should be punished for...for drinking all the eggnog in the fridge.
Palutena: So it was him who did it, wasn't it? *sternly looks at Rodin*
Rodin: Palutena you don't believe Pit, do you? The kid's just buggin'!
Palutena: *walks towards Rodin* All that precious eggnog...all of it, gone, thanks to you...
Rodin: *falls out of chair* Quit playin', Palutena, this ain't funny! It was Pit who did it, I promise you! Back off, woman!
Doc Louis: *sighs happily, in relief* Ah...it feels great to be Santa Claus again.
