Got some good news, and some bad news...the good news is, I got a new Internet router recently, if that is anything worth mentioning. The bad news is, something went wrong with my Internet broadband service, after someone from my service provider tried to fix it. The situation left me pretty discouraged during the writing process of this chapter. Thankfully the issue was resolved, but I had to wait until Saturday until I got my Internet back...so therefore, this chapter had to be published on late notice, on a Saturday. First time this story's ever been updated on a Saturday, so...yay?
Anyways, this is a throwaway chapter - one that was designed as such due to the circumstances that I had no control over - and it is mostly about Persona 5: the Royal. I tried my best to steer clear of spoilers, especially with no Internet access to fall back on, so if you see anything spoiler-esque, don't hesitate to let me know. I'll make sure to check out the reviews, at a later time. But for now, enjoy...
Chapter 223: NewGirl
Toon Link: In the criminal justice system, offences outside of Smash battles are especially considered heinous. In Seattle, at the Smash Mansion, the dedicated police officers who investigate these vicious felonies are members of an elite squad known as the LPU, the Link Patrol Unit. These are their stories.
Young Link: DUN DUUUUN!
Fox and Krystal's wedding was but a week away, and everyone was looking forward to the big shebang. From Crazy Hand, who apparently wanted to make a profit off of the wedding, to Cloud, who just wanted the wedding to finally be over with - everyone was anticipating the big wedding, after all the weeks of planning that Fox and company had done.
With the wedding a week away, there were some last-minute things that Fox and Krystal had to take care of. The guest count had to be finalized. The arrival times had to be confirmed. And most importantly, the wedding venue had to be secured. But there was also one more thing that Fox and Krystal had to do before their wedding...and it involved Krystal's mother.
If you recall, back in episode 184, Krystal had received news less than a year that her mother had fallen sick. Astonished to find out that her mother was alive, in spite of her homeworld being destroyed, Krystal expressed her desire to visit her sick mother, but was unable to due to constant planning for the wedding. And now, with the planning for the wedding finally wrapping up, Krystal finally had her chance.
"So after you pay Krystal's mom a visit, you're gonna check out the wedding venue in Corneria, is that right?" Peppy spoke with Fox, while standing around with Falco and Slippy. Fox had his Arwing ready to go, and was about to take Krystal in his Arwing to see her mother.
"That's right - gotta get things right with the vendors," replied Fox, while his Arwing was humming from the engines. Krystal was already inside the Arwing, dying to see her mother. "Doing the wedding in Corneria seemed like the right choice, in retrospect..."
"That's fine and dandy and all, but how are all the wedding guests going to make it to Corneria for the wedding?" asked Slippy, asking his question at the worst possible time. Fox and Falco would have to do a lot of explaining, and Krystal just wanted to leave already.
"Easy, just take everyone there through the mansion's teleportation device..." replied Falco, having to answer Slippy's question as if the frog was a kindergartner. "...this isn't rocket science, Slippy, stop making things hard!"
"I'm not trying to make things hard! Also, a follow-up question - what if we can't fit everyone on the teleportation pad? What if there's someone paranoid about teleporting?"
"We can just go to Corneria in separate groups...it's not that hard. Also, if someone is scared about teleportation and stuff...then that's on them."
"...Fox, can we leave already?" Krystal called out to her fiance, having heard enough of Slippy's needless rambling. "We can't visit my mom staying down here."
"I'll be there in a sec, babe!" replied Fox, looking back at Falco and company as he quickly stepped inside his Arwing. "I'll be seeing you guys later," Fox told his friends, before closing down the hatch to his Arwing.
"Tell Krystal's mom I said hi!" Slippy told Fox, who grimaced along with Krystal as the Arwing took off and flew into the skies. Slippy sighed happily, drawing Falco and Peppy's concern. "I bet that Krystal's mom is one fine momma..."
Fox: A wedding in Corneria is much better than a wedding on earth, if you ask me. Especially in these current times. In Corneria, the people are much more friendly, and the air quality is absolutely sufficient... *sighs deeply* ...it kinda sucks that it took one lousy pandemic to make the human race realize how secretly hazardous they are. At least us space animals know where we stand in the universe. It's a little thing we call perspective.
Falco and company were about to head back inside the mansion, only to see a taxi drive up into the mansion's driveway. It was Kapp'n's taxi, and it was quite clear that Kapp'n had brought someone along with him.
"Is that the new resident Master Hand's been telling us about?" Peppy asked Falco and Slippy, watching as Kapp'n got out of his taxi. He opened one of the passenger doors...and out came a young woman, with red hair tied up in a ponytail.
"Hold up...I know that chick!" exclaimed Falco, having recalled seeing the young woman at a Halloween party at E. Gadd's mansion in episode 202. "She's one of Joker's lady friends."
"Joker is trying to start a harem?" inquired Slippy, garnering dubious looks from both Falco and Peppy as the young woman grabbed her suitcase before being led over to Falco and company by Kapp'n. Looked like Kapp'n wanted to introduce the young woman to the Star Fox pilots.
"Here she comes, everyone act natural..." Peppy whispered to Falco and Slippy; he and Falco looked composed, while Slippy got down on all fours like how a typical frog would. "...Slippy, that's not what I meant by acting natural."
"Hello, fellas - the newest resident of the Smash Mansion has just arrived," Kapp'n said to Peppy and company, presenting the young woman to the three pilots. "Give a warm welcome to the new girl - Kasumi Yoshizawa."
"Good afternoon," Kasumi greeted Falco and company with a warm smile and a wave; Falco and Peppy were looking cool, calm, and collected, while Slippy was just...being Slippy.
"Welcome to the Smash Mansion!" Peppy greeted Kasumi, wanting to make the young woman feel as welcome as possible. The hare then nudged Falco in the side, wanting the avian pilot to say a little something.
"Uh, yeah...welcome to the mansion, I guess," Falco said to Kasumi, wondering if the young woman remembered him and Fox at E. Gadd's Halloween party. It would make the pilot's day if Kasumi remembered.
"Ribbit ribbit ribbit," Slippy greeted Kasumi, before he saw a fly flying about. The frog lashed out at the fly with his tongue, before eating it and swallowing it whole. Kasumi witnessed this, albeit with a concerned look on her face.
"Is he...always like that?" the young woman had to ask Falco and Peppy, as she pointed at Slippy - who was now hopping around like a typical frog. What a way to humiliate both Falco and Peppy.
"He's like that on his worst days..." replied Falco, feeling the humiliation overwhelming him as he rubbed his neck and looked away from Slippy. "...and also on his best. You know what, how about I grab your suitcase for you? Master Hand's expecting ya."
"Oh yes, Master Hand told me in the letter he sent me that he's been looking forward to my arrival. I can't possibly leave him waiting!"
So Kasumi followed the Star Fox pilots inside the mansion, where she would be greeted by the welcoming committee - which only consisted of Banjo and Kazooie. Instead, the young woman would find another duo in the foyer...
"FREEZE!" shouted Toon Link, as he and Young Link had their bows out, pointed at those who just entered the mansion. "Hands up in the air!" Doing as she was told, Kasumi held up her hands, as Falco and the others followed suit.
"I didn't expect a welcome like this," Kasumi whispered to Falco, keeping her voice as low as possible so she wouldn't draw further ire from the buddy cops. Falco let out a sigh, as the buddy cops were embarrassing him more than Slippy did.
"So, you must be the new chick, is that right?" Young Link questioned Kasumi, as he and Toon Link were circling around the young woman and staring her down intensely. "Kasumi, is that right?"
"Yes, that is correct...I am Kasumi Yoshizawa," replied Kasumi, with the nod of her head. The buddy cops continued to stare her down, thinking she was no good whatsoever. "I was supposed to be at a gymnastics event today, but that was cancelled due to the virus...so I'm here at the mansion, on early notice."
"Can you believe this? She's using the ongoing pandemic to justify the reason why she's here," Toon Link said to Young Link, before shaking his head at Kasumi. "Very pretentious of her to do that, don't you think Hutch?"
"Extremely pretentious..." replied Young Link, before sticking the tip of his bow into Kasumi's leg, to let the young woman know that he and Toon Link meant business. "...we don't like it when people use a global crisis to their advantage, so make sure you remember that from here on out."
"I'll make sure to remember that every day..." responded Kasumi, her hands still up as she eyed around the foyer slightly worried for her well-being. Soon help was on the way, as Master Hand magically appeared in the foyer.
"Ah, Miss Yoshizawa! I've been expecting you!" the giant hand greeted the young woman, before seeing Kasumi and the others being held up by the buddy cops. "Toon Link? Young Link? Why are you here? Where's the welcoming committee?"
"The welcoming committee...has been promptly dealt with..." replied Toon Link, speaking in a low and menacing tone. How about we check on the welcoming committee?
The welcoming committee of Banjo and Kazooie were tied up together in a locked room, bound by some rope. Kazooie pecked the rope, trying to break herself and Banjo free, but her efforts proved futile.
"You know, now would be an awful time to be having explosive diarrhea..." remarked Banjo, before letting out a mischievous giggle; Kazooie was now pecking the rope at a much faster rate than before.
"You seriously tied up Banjo and Kazooie, and put them in a separate room?" Master Hand questioned the buddy cops, who were told by Master Hand to lower their guards. "Why on earth would you do that?!"
"Because, Master Hand...we're the real welcoming committee," replied Young Link, before putting on a pair of shades. Master Hand started laughing, as he fell unto the floor. "Is there someone tickling you in stealth, Master Hand?"
"Hoo boy, I really needed that laugh!" After he was done laughing, Master Hand picked himself off the floor. "Thank you for that joke, Young Link, I really needed it."
"What joke?" Toon Link whispered to Young Link, unsure of what Master Hand was talking about; Young Link just shrugged on confusion.
Isabelle: Master Hand has been in bad spirits during the ongoing pandemic. At first he didn't care as much, calling the virus a flu like all the other deniers out there, but when the Seattle Dragons had their season cancelled...that's when Master Hand did a complete 180.
Master Hand: This was supposed to be the Seattle Dragons' year, and the Virus-That-Shall-Not-Be-Named just had to ruin everything! Don't even get me started on March Madness being cancelled - I had money riding on Gonzaga this year!
Ayaha: Master Hand, I don't mean to burst your bubble, but the Dragons had a losing record around the time their season got cancelled...
Master Hand: Are you telling me that you don't believe in late-season turnarounds, Miss Oribe? Do you mean to say that you have no faith in the underdog? Where is your heart, woman?!
"Falco, Peppy, you two take Kasumi to her new room, and get her all cozy and stuff," Master Hand instructed the two pilots, giving them a duty that Banjo and Kazooie were supposed to do themselves. "As for you, Slippy...just don't do anything weird."
"Ribbit ribbit!" Slippy saluted Master Hand, as he followed Falco, Peppy, and Kasumi into the nearby hallway. Master Hand sighed, watching as Slippy hopped away like a typical frog.
"As for you two, Toon LInk and Young Link, I better not see you lurking around Kasumi. She's the new girl, so I suggest that you leave her alone and let her first day at the mansion be without any sort of trouble. Do I make myself clear?"
"Would it be okay if anyone else saw us lurking around Kasumi?" asked Young Link as he raised his hand, while Master Hand grinded his teeth in irritation. "We would let X see us interrogating Kasumi, since he'll just stand around and do nothing."
"I SAID, DO I MAKE MYSELF CLEAR?!" Master Hand boomed at the buddy cops, who were both looking scared out of their minds as they nodded their heads. "Good! Now just steer clear of Kasumi, and we won't have any trouble."
"You got it, Master Hand..." Toon Link said to the giant hand, who floated away back to his room. Once Master hand left, both Toon Link and Young Link let out sighs of relief.
Falco and company escorted Kasumi to her room, which was on the fifth floor of the mansion - conveniently the floor where all the other Persona fellas and felines stayed. The pilots took Kasumi to her room, and helped her unpack her belongings.
"Well, Kasumi, it looks like you have this room all for yourself!" Peppy said to the young woman, seeing as there was only one bed in the room. "Got yourself some privacy - not that many people in this mansion can say that.
"Feels like an unwanted privilege...but I'll take it," remarked Kasumi, before sitting on her bed. "Thank you for helping me unpack my stuff, and getting everything situated."
"Ribbit ribbit ribbit!" squealed Slippy, with Peppy looking away out of embarrassment as Falco facepalmed. The pilots left Kasumi alone, leaving the room as Kasumi laid on her bed and looked up at the ceiling.
"Master Hand was so eager to bring me to the mansion...he must think I'm special. Quite strange to be here in Seattle, especially with all the turbulence going about..."
"So...you're finally here," a voice called out to Kasumi, who looked up and saw Joker standing in the doorway of her room. Makoto was with him. "We've been expecting you."
"Oh, Joker!" Kasumi quickly sat up on her bed, as Joker and Makoto entered her room. "And you must be Makoto. I remember you!"
"Since we already know each other, I guess we can skip the introductions," said Makoto, as Joker took a seat on Kasumi's bed. "So, Kasumi, how have you been?"
"I'm just hanging in there. Trying to make the best of my first day at the mansion. That talking bird and rabbit and their frog friend got me all acclimated."
"Looks like you're already comfy in your room. How would you like for Joker and I to show you around the mansion? Our treat!"
"This mansion sure does look big - must have lots of interesting stuff in it. I'd love to take a look around, provided it doesn't take up much of my time..."
Joker: Oh, the picture I got last year? I kept it underneath my lamp, on my dresser. Haven't thought about it that much, but I won't worry much about it until later. Making Kasumi feel at home at the mansion is my only concern right now.
Instructed not to be anywhere near Kasumi, the buddy cops had no choice but to take care of crime around the mansion. And, to a lesser extent, solving ongoing mysteries. The buddy cops were currently trying to solve a mystery right now, as they paid Proto Man a visit in the gaming room.
"We need to ask you an important question," Toon Link said to Proto Man, who was busy trying to play some pool with Terry and the Flying Man. "Where...is Ja?"
"I'm sorry, who are we talking about?" asked Proto Man, after striking a white cue ball with his pool stick. Appalled by Proto Man's ignorance, Toon Link sighed and shook his head.
"Ja. Ja Rule. Where is Ja? Dave Chapelle asked the questions many years ago, and we're still looking for answers to this very day."
"Well, I don't care about Ja Rule one bit, he's irrelevant now," replied Proto Man, trying to distance himself from the buddy cops as he walked away from them...but the buddy cops followed the robot around the pool table.
"Oh, but you should - he's very important!" replied Young Link, with Proto Man smirking as he looked away from the buddy cops. "So important, that Fox News asked him for his input on the 2016 presidental elections."
"Okay, first of all, Fox News is strictly an entertainment channel, so them asking someone for political opinions is moot. Also, if you're so concerned about Ja Rule's whereabouts...then why don't you just call the man?"
"Ah, yes, why haven't we thought of that sooner? We should totally call Fox News - they were the last ones to be in contact with Ja, so they might know the answers."
"Wait Hutch, do you hear that?" Toon Link asked Young LInk, as he heard some girly giggling from nearby in the gaming room. "I smell flesh blood..."
"Do you hear it, or do you smell it? Which one is it, man?" Soon Toon Link grabbed Young Link's head, and pointed it towards the left of the gaming room entrance. "Oh...I see..."
In the gaming room, the buddy cops saw Joker and Makoto, having a joyful conversation with new resident Kasumi. Kasumi was already adjusted to the mansion, and was now socializing with Joker and his girlfriend.
"What do you make of that, Starsky?" Young Link asked Toon Link, too far away to hear every little word that Joker and company were saying. "Can you read their lips?"
"No, Hutch, lip reading isn't my strongest suit..." replied Toon Link, as he furrowed his brow while looking very closely at Joker.. "...lip syncing is more of my suit, to be honest. But I can tell you one thing...Joker might be having romantic feelings for Kasumi."
"You mean that Joker might be cheating on Makoto by speaking with Kasumi, while also standing in the presence of Makoto? That's some 8-D underwater chess IQ he's displaying, if that's the case."
"Of course, I'm just projecting, but it can't hurt to get a bit closer and get some details. Let's listen in..." So the buddy cops drew closer to Joker and company, keeping themselves out of the sight of Joker, Makoto, and Kasumi.
"My sister was such a great gymnast," said Kasumi, telling Joker and Makoto all about her late sister as the buddy cops were secretly taking notes. "Literally nobody could hold a single candle to her, she was that good."
"It must be terrible to lose a sibling, especially in a tragedy," said Makoto, as the buddy cops were furiously jotting down notes on their notepads. "Our friend Minato lost his parents in a tragedy once...thankfully it hasn't affected him as much."
"So Kasumi has a dead sister?" Toon Link whispered to Young Link, as the buddy cops took the time to review the notes they have written down. "This is getting all sorts of spicy..."
"Could you imagine if Joker ditched Makoto for a chick who has a dead sister?" asked Young Link, imagining how well the scenario would play out in real life. "That's one way to fill someone's emotional void, I'll say..."
"You boys just can't seem to follow instructions, can you?" a voice asked the buddy cops, who both turned around and screamed when they saw Master Hand behind them. Both Toon LInk and Young Link we're scared out of their minds, trembling in fear as they hugged one another.
"W-We're so sorry, Master Hand, we were just doing our jobs!" Toon Link said to the giant hand, with tears running down his face. "We didn't mean to be that close to Kasumi..."
"Wow, Master Hand! We never see you in the gaming room," Sonic approached the giant hand, while holding a golf club he was using to play on the golf simulator. "Came here to play some golf, with yours truly?"
"No, maybe another time...I just came here to get some fresh air. And to get away from Isabelle. After that woman had the audacity to mention the Virus-That-Shall-Not-Be-Named in my presence."
"'Virus-That-Shall-Not-Be-Named'?" Sonic raised an eyebrow as he wondered what virus Master Hand was talking about, and then it hit him. "You're not talking about..."
"Shh!" the Flying Man quickly shushed Sonic, popping up behind the hedgehog and covering his mouth with the quickness. "Don't say it out loud..."
Samus: Master Hand has been bothered by the ongoing pandemic, mainly for his own selfish and slightly delusional reasons, and until the pandemic ends we have no choice but to refer to the virus as the "Virus-That-Shall-Not-Be-Named". Can't even say the virus' name in private. If you say it out loud, and Master Hand hears you - and we know that he hears everything - he'll kick you out of the mansion temporarily, and slap you with a $100,00 fine. A pretty hefty fine for anyone not named Wario or Heihachi. Isabelle was the last person to break the rule...better hope she has a hundred grand saved up somewhere.
"Now Toon Link, and Young Link, I want you both to take my words seriously, and leave the new resident alone," Master Hand said to the buddy cops, stressing the seriousness of his response. "Let Kasumi enjoy her first day, dang it!"
"It's fine, Master Hand, those two haven't been as bothersome," Kasumi assured the giant hand, who really wanted to think otherwise. "It's almost like they're not even there!"
"No, Kasumi...this is all my fault, I should've put a tighter leash on those buddy cop miscreants. Now if I don't see them leaving this wretched room, in the next five seconds..."
"Uh, would you look at that...that Dr. Cortex is out jaywalking in the hallways again!" said Toon Link, as he grabbed Young Link's hand and ran out of the gaming room. Master Hand sighed, wondering why he put so much trust in the buddy cops.
"Well, it's a good thing I still have Cooper and Booker around..." Master Hand, opting to stay in the gaming room to keep himself from Isabelle, floated over to Proto Man and Terry. "...hey boys, mind if I hop in?"
"There's no way we're gonna start a new game for some giant floating hand that can't even hold a pool stick properly," replied Proto Man, before Master Hand pointed his finger in the robot's face. It was enough to quickly change Proto Man's mind. "I mean, the pool sticks are over there!"
The buddy cops were outside the gaming room, going over their notes. Most of their notes had much to do with the new girl, Kasumi.
"I'm starting to have some doubts about Kasumi's backstory," Young Link said to Toon Link, apparently believing that Kasumi was straight up lying to Joker and Makoto's faces. "What do you think, Starsky? You have similar doubts as well?"
"What I wanna know is, why would anyone tell someone else about their dead sister?" questioned Toon Link, as a myriad of other questions were racing through his head. "Kasumi's sister must still be alive, and Kasumi is pretending that she's dead just to give her some clout."
"Yeah, I remember when Altair bragged about killing some Al Mualim guy, when he first showed up at the mansion. Using death for social positioning at the mansion is one thing, but using a fake death? It's disgraceful beyond words!"
"Must be terrible that your sister's dead," Joker said to Kasumi, as he left the gaming room with Kasumi and Makoto. The buddy cops were listening attentively. "What a way to go out..."
"Yes, and I've been doing my best to cope with her loss ever since..." replied Kasumi, getting all depressed as she was looking down at the floor despondently. Makoto put a reassuring hand on Kasumi's shoulder. "...I really do miss my sister."
"Joker talking about Kasumi's sister does sound suspicious, don't you think?" Young Link asked Toon Link; you best believe that the Hylian would've thought otherwise, had Makoto asked the question instead.
"He's literally scoping out Kasumi, to see what she's all about," assumed Toon Link, fearing that Joker might leave Makoto for Kasumi. Though the chances of that were incredibly slim. "Even if Kasumi's sister may still be alive, what Joker is doing is inhumane!"
"We should keep a very close eye on Joker, see what he's really plotting...yet at the same time, we gotta find out if Kasumi's sister is really dead or not. Gotta kill two birds with one stone!"
"Tell you what...I'll investigate Joker myself, while you gather clues about Kasumi's sister. Got my fingers crossed that Kasumi's sister is a real person..."
"She's gotta be real - talking about a death of an imaginary person is just dumb. Unless it's done for catfishing purposes. But what about Master Hand, what if he accuses us of 'snooping' into Kasumi's personal business?"
"That's why we need a sheriff, to keep Master Hand contained..." Actually, the buddy cops had two sheriffs, both of whom we're "honorary"; and one of them was Naoto. You may know who the other one was...
Cloud was chilling outside in the hammock, resting and easing his cares away. The swordsman enjoyed being outside; it was the one place where he could be free, and be away from all the burdens and annoyances of life at the mansion. Of course, he wasn't free from being bothered by any of the residents.
"Honorary sheriff Cloud Strife!" a voice called out to the swordsman, who looked up and groaned when he saw the buddy cops approaching him. "We have a mission for you, sir!"
"Look, if it has anything to do with bathing Wario, then count me out," stated Cloud, who only bathed Wario because the buddy cops were understandably squeamish about washing Wario, let alone touching him. "Those were thirty horrible minutes of my life I will never get back."
"No worries, Cloud, Wario didn't attempt another Gatorade bath...not this time around. The task we have for you today is...a bit more practical."
"And what is that supposed to mean?" Wanting to give Cloud a little hint, Toon Link took out a white glove, and tossed it unto Cloud. Cloud got the hint right away. "You know what, I'd rather wash Wario again...I'm actually starting to hate this stupid sheriff gig."
Cloud's task wasn't that hard - all the swordsman had to do was watch over Master Hand, and make sure that the giant hand didn't leave his stead. Master Hand was in high spirits now, playing some pool with Proto Man, Terry, and the Flying Man in the gaming room.
"Woo hoo, I'm on a roll!" exclaimed Master Hand, as he struck a white cue ball with his pool stick and sent the ball flying. Cloud was watching from a distance, with his arms folded.
"AUGH, MY EYE!" Roy shouted in pain, after being struck in the face with the white cube ball. The swordsman grimaced in pain, covering his eye as he got down on one knee.
"Since I couldn't strike any of the colored balls, does that mean my turn is over?" It's been so long since Master Hand last played pool...provided that he ever played it before. The rules were quite fuzzy to him. "If so, who is next?"
"I believe it's my turn," replied Terry, as he went to retrieve the white cue ball. He saw Roy and patted the ailing swordsman on the back, before returning to the pool table. "Please don't sabotage me this time, okay Master Hand?"
"Promise I won't...I got my fingers crossed." With Master Hand's fingers crossed, Terry placed the white cue ball on the pool table, before striking it...only for Master Hand to flick the ball away a mere second later. Terry grunted, as he threw his pool stick on the floor.
"AUGH, MY OTHER EYE!" shouted Roy, who was struck in his other eye by the white cue ball. Today just wasn't the swordsman's day.
"Dang it! Master Hand, you made a promise!" Terry snapped on the giant hand, who was whistling innocently. Unwritten Rule #41: never expect Master Hand to ever hold up his end of the bargain. Better yet, just don't trust him in general.
"Yes, yes I did...and promises are made to be broken, after all. Isn't that right, Cloud?" Master Hand looked over at Cloud, who was still standing from a distance while contemplating most of his life choices.
"Yeah, nothing like a good ol' broken promise..." muttered Cloud, watching as a temporarily blinded Roy ran out of the gaming room to save himself from further harm.
Wii Fit Trainer: We have our own reasons for not playing games with Master Hand. Two things usually happen - either Master Hand cheats, or someone ends up getting hurt. This even applies to playing cards; we've had one resident get sent to the hospital after they had their stomach lacerated. Let's just say that Master Hand can sometimes be a bit of a sore loser...
If Toon Link wanted to learn more about Kasumi's late sister - whether she was truly dead or not, let alone an actual person - the Hylian had to gather information from as many residents as he possibly could. More specifically, he had to ask residents who themselves had a dead brother or sister. These residents' experience with tragedy could help Toon Link in the long run...or so Toon Link thought.
"Batter up!" shouted Ness, as he threw a baseball as Lucas in the front yard of the mansion. Swinging with all his might, Lucas struck the baseball, watching as the ball sailed across Ness...and crashed into one of the mansion windows.
"Uh..." Lucas said nervously, as he pointed at the broken window. Ness saw the broken window, and just like any boy playing baseball in this moment, he panicked.
"Alright, how are we gonna explain this one? Do we come up with another lousy excuse like last time...or do we take the easy way out and go with a fall guy?"
"I'd say we go with a fall guy this time. We need someone gullible enough to..." Lucas looked around outside, before seeing Mario playing with Poochy. "...what about him?"
"Who, Poochy? I mean, he'll obviously get the benefit of the doubt just for being a dog, but I don't think that Master Hand would..."
"Not, not Poochy...Mario! Master Hand wouldn't go in on Mario as much. He'll just say a few words, then let the man off the hook."
"Yeah, good thinking! Whenever Master Hand shows up, we'll just hide in the shrubbery and let Mario take the verbal beating for us. But since Master Hand's a predictable dude..."
Not wanting to take any chances, Ness and Lucas quickly ran away, and hid in the shrubbery in Mario's front yard. They kept their eyes peeled for Master Hand, looking through the leaves.
"Hey man, stop grabbing my foot!" Lucas told Ness, as he felt someone tugging at his ankle. Whoever was tugging away had a pretty firm grip.
"But I'm not anywhere near your feet..." stated Ness, as Lucas furrowed his brow; slowly, Lucas looked behind him...and saw Toon Link.
"Sup," Toon Link greeted Lucas and Ness, with the former screaming and hopping out of the shrubbery. Ness hopped out of the shrubbery as well, but only out of pure instinct.
"H-How long have you been hiding there?" Lucas asked Toon Link, backing away on the ground as Toon Link appeared out from the shrubbery.
"Longer than what is needed - I'd say a solid ten minutes," replied Toon Link, before taking out his notepad and a pencil. "I have a few questions to ask of you, Lucas...what is your experience with dead people?"
"And you're asking me this...why, exactly?" Lucas obviously had seen a lot of tragedy in his lifetime, and for Toon Link to ask him about such a sensitive topic felt oddly patronizing to him.
"We all know that your mom is dead...but is there anyone else in your family who's dead too? Got a dead sibling we don't know about? Let me know all your dirty secrets..."
"Okay, dude, back off...but, if you must know, I did have a brother once, named Claus. He used to be known as the Masked Man, but after he revealed his true identity, he comitted suicide. Scarred me for life."
"So your brother killed himself after taking off his luchador mask and showing his true self...quite fascinating. Didn't know that your brother was a masked luchador, Lucas." Toon Link jotted down his notes, as Lucas rolled his eyes in disbelief. "Had no idea that being de-masked was that serious in the masked luchador community."
"You dolt, he wasn't a luchador...he was brainwashed into being evil. He was a commander working for Porky Minch."
"Your brother was not only a masked luchador, but he was brainwashed into being a bad guy by some bratty fat kid? Oh my, this is all sorts of intriguing..."
"I thought you said-a that your brother commanded an army, not take-a up Mexican wrestling," Mario said to Lucas, eavesdropping on the conversation between Lucas and Toon Link. Lucas groaned, as Toon Link wrote down more notes on his notepad.
Mario: I oughta be more-a mindful of Lucas' past, since I usually dismiss what-a ever stories he tries to tell us. Same goes-a for Ness. It's not until Porky Minch gets-a mentioned that I turn a deaf-a ear. What person would want some-a chubby brat as their adversary?
"Don't mind if I butt in, but why are you doing this, Toon Link?" Ness asked Toon Link, finding it weird that the Hylian was asking about Lucas' personal life out of the blue and in the open.
"I am investigating the death of Kasumi Yoshizawa's sister," replied Toon Link, as Ness and Lucas both remembered that Kasumi was joining the mansion today. "I have become a thanatologist, as a result of this ongoing investigation..."
"...and what does Lucas' dead brother have to do with Kasumi's dead sister?" Appalled, Toon Link shook his head at Ness, rueful that the PSI whiz couldn't put the puzzle pieces together.
"It's quite clear that you have trouble connecting the dots...it's no wonder you always suck at Connect 4. But, I got what I came here for, which means that the investigation...shall continue."
Toon Link would walk away, as he walked towards the mansion and headed back inside. Mario watched as Toon Link departed, baffled by the Hylian's behavior...while also taking note of the broken window.
"Hey, who broke-a that window?" questioned Mario, as he looked at Ness and Lucas...who quickly ran and hid back in the shrubbery. "Ness? Lucas? Where'd you go?"
With Toon Link "investigating" the death of Kasumi's sister, Young Link was investigating Joker. Joker and Makoto were showing Kasumi around the mansion, getting her acclimated and whatnot, and Young Link was keeping watch from a considerable distance.
"This is Cilan, he's the best chef at this mansion," Joker introduced Kasumi to the connoisseur in the kitchen, as Cilan kindly shook hands with Kasumi. Young Link was spying on Joker, from the kitchen entrance.
"I've heard that you're a great gymnast," Cilan said to Kasumi, after he was done shaking the young woman's hand. "You must be the best at your school!"
"A lot of people have said that I'm the best gymnast around," said Kasumi, with a warm smile. She saw the curry Cilan was cooking on the stove, and was allured by its smell. "I'm also a great cook, if that is worth mentioning."
"A great cook?! Oh my, I think I'm in love!" Upon hearing this, Young Link was shocked, his eyes wide as he mouth fell agape. "There's nothing I love more than a fellow superb cook!"
"Maybe one day you could replace Lady Palutena," Makoto said to Kasumi, as a still stunned Toon Link hurriedly took out his walkie-talkie. "And believe me, we could afford to let anyone replace her..."
"Earth to Starsky...earth to Starsky," Young Link spoke into the walkie-talkie, desperately hoping for a response from Toon Link. "Starsky, can you read me? We have an emergency afoot!"
"An emergency? What kind?" said Toon Link, finally answering Young Link as his voice was heard from the walkie-talkie. "Is Joker actually breaking up with Makoto, for the new girl?"
"I'm afraid that Joker is the least of our worries now...you won't believe what I just saw. Cilan was attempting to flirt with Kasumi!"
"Cilan, flirting with Kasumi? Has he gone mad?!" The buddy cops both believed that Cilan didn't have what it takes to woo a girl, so any instance of Cilan getting chummy with any female was preposterous to the duo.
"He legit asked her about her gymnastics background, and assumed that she was the best at her school. He was flattering her. Then Kasumi mentioned that she was a great cook, and Cilan said that he was in love!"
"You're gonna have to slow down, this is too much for me to take in...this absolutely has to be dealt with accordingly. Worst case scenario is that many other men fall head over heels for Kasumi."
"That's a scary thought, when you think about it." Young Link looked over at Kasumi, seeing that she and Cilan we're having a very plentiful conversation. "I'll do my best to monitor Kasumi, and look out for any man flirting with her. If I see a dude crossing the line...then I'll attack!"
"Good. I'm still doing investigative work on my end...just spoke with Lucas, might speak with him again at a later time. I'll keep on fighting the good fight, and you ought to do the same, partner."
"Will do..." With his transmission with Toon Link over, Young Link immediately went back to Kasumi Watch, paying close attention to Cilan.
With Master Hand constantly screwing them over, Proto Man, Terry, and the Flying Man all agreed to kick the giant hand out of their game of pool. Needing to keep himself preoccupied, Master Hand asked Cloud to play a game of golf simulator with him, and Cloud reluctantly obliged.
"Tell me, Cloud, is this the right form?" Master Hand asked the swordsman, while holding his golf club only with his thumb and index finger. He wanted to be fancy by using all his fingers, but that was harder than he imagined.
"I mean, for a giant hand like you, I guess so," replied Cloud, as Link and Champion Link came over. Master Hand swung with his golf club, watching as the ball on the golf simulator screen sailed across the air.
"Playing some golf with Master Hand?" Link asked Cloud, who frowned as he let out a sigh. Link felt Cloud's pain, as he patted Cloud on the back. "Sucks to be you, man..."
"Gah, landed in the water again!" Master Hand watched as the golf ball on the screen landed in some water, floating on the surface. "Chrom was right, this golf simulator cheats."
"Says the one who likes to swing aggressively..." Done with playing golf, Master Hand floated away as Cloud was quick to stop him. "...uh, where are you going, Master Hand?"
"Where does it look like I'm going? I'm heading back to my room! Hopefully that blasted Isabelle is gone, mentioning that blasted...illness, in my presence."
"Instead of going back to your room...how about we go outside, get some fresh air?" Cloud had to do everything he could to keep Master Hand away from the buddy cops. "A stroll outside could take your mind off of the...of the..."
"...take your mind off of the bug going about," Champion Link would finish for Cloud, saving his best friend's hide. And also saving him from a potential fine.
"Oh yeah, I could definitely go for a stroll outside...but if we get arrested for self-isolating or whatever, that's on you. Can't believe it's a crime now to get some vitamin D..."
Young Link's MO was now completely changed, as the Hylian went from spying on Joker to spying on just about any male resident who interacted with Kasumi. So when Joker and Makoto took Kasumi to the Pokemon sanctuary...you better believe that Young Link was there, at the scene.
"Wow, this mansion sure has everything..." smiled Kasumi, stroking Pikachu as she held the mouse Pokemon in her arms. So far, everything looked tranquil to Young Link, from where he was hiding at.
"Master Hand sure loves to go up and beyond..." remarked Joker, as he scratched the back of his head. "...sometimes to a great fault, but you can't count him out for having ambition."
"Joker, Makoto is that the new girl?" asked Pit, as he approached Kasumi with Kirby and Incineroar accompanying him. Young Link furrowed his brow, as he kept a very close eye on Pit. "Hey new girl, what's your name?"
"Kasumi Yoshizawa," answered Kasumi, already thinking that Pit was the sweetest boy she's met at the mansion so far. That opinion was sure to change real quick, over time. "I know Joker here, since we both attended the same academy in Japan."
"The angel is preparing to leave the nest with the goddess for a human..." Young Link mumbled to himself, scratching his chin as he opted not to take necessary action.
"So are you a friend of Joker's, or are you his side chick?" Pit curiously asked Kasumi, who gave a questionable look as Makoto frowned at the angel. Pit was quick to notice Makoto's angered reaction. "Stop looking like that, Makoto - you don't know what Joker might be doing on the side! They don't call him Joker for a reason..."
"Kasumi is just a friend, I can tell you that much..." stated Joker, making sure that Pit understood the boundaries between him and Kasumi. "...what is it with you and the others thinking that I have a bunch of side chicks?"
"I've heard that you let a bunch of chicks on your lap." Joker remembered this instance - from episode 181 - although the details were foggy given the state he was in at the time. "Don't even try to deny it!"
"I...may have been in a different state of mind, so I don't know all the details. But can we just put this talk about me having a harem or side chicks to bed, please?"
Joker: Having alcoholic drinks in Mini Mementos was a mistake. Having a girlfriend and several lady friends in a mansion where men are craving for love and affection is an even bigger mistake in itself.
"Aw, look at you trying to save face in front of the new girl and your girlfriend!" Pit teased Joker, who wished for the angel to vamoose as he pinched the crown of his nose. "I'm surprised that you're still dating that womanizer, Makoto."
"Do you even know what a womanizer is, Pit?" Makoto asked the angel, who was now deep in thought as he looked up at the heavens. "You know what, forget it..."
"I've never seen Pit act this way before...he's definitely putting on a front," assumed Young Link, adding Pit's name to a list that already had Cilan's name on it. "Trying to make a good first impression on Kasumi. I should inform Viridi at once..."
"Anyways, Kasumi, Master Hand told me that you 're a great gymnast," Pit said to the young woman, as Young Link darted out of the sanctuary unseen. "You must be a female Gumby, aren't ya?"
Lucas and Ness were still hiding among the shrubbery in Mario's front yard, waiting for Master Hand to show up at any minute. Mario was still outside playing with Poochy, which meant that Lucas and Ness' plot to have Mario take the fall for breaking a mansion window was still in play.
"He should be here any minute now..." Ness said to Lucas, seeing Link, Champion Link and Cloud exit the mansion. Soon Master Hand appeared outside with the two swordsmen. "...and there he is!"
"He's gonna notice the broken window pretty soon," said Lucas, but to his and Ness' great surprise, Master Hand just followed Link, Champion Link, and Cloud without paying any sort of attention to the exterior of his mansion. "Hey, where is he going?!"
"Just to be safe, we're only gonna take a walk around the block," Cloud said to Master Hand, as he and Link led the giant hand across the mansion's front yard. "We won't be leaving the outer neighborhood or anything, because...you know, reasons."
"Speak for yourself - I'm Master Hand, so I can't possibly be infected!" Master Hand said in a bragging manner, grateful about his invulnerability to viruses. The giant hand saw Mario, and waved to the plumber. "Good afternoon, Mario!"
"Good afternoon to you, Master Hand," greeted Mario as he returned the favor by waving back to the giant hand. "Not sure-a if you noticed, but there's a broken window at the..." Mario would soon be interrupted, as Poochy threw a Frisbee at the plumber's head.
"Not now, Mario, I'm going out for a walk with my three favorite people in the world...going to take my mind off of things. Gonna soak in the fresh air, and think about all the pleasures of life."
"He seriously called us his three favorite people?" Champion Link whispered to Link and Cloud, as he and his fellow swordsmen were walking along the side of the road with Master Hand following them. "We better end this soon, before he becomes too attached to us..."
"This is only to keep Master Hand out of the mansion, while the buddy cops are doing their thing," Cloud whispered back; every day Link and Champion Link sympathized more for Cloud, what with being an honorary sheriff and all. "So who knows how long this'll last..."
"Master Hand's going out for a stroll, which means...we should head back inside the mansion," Ness suggested to Lucas, wanting to take advantage of the opportunity at hand. "That way, Master Hand will never suspect us of breaking that window!"
"Yeah, good thinking!" Lucas agreed as he nodded his head; Lucas and Ness ran out of the shrubbery and towards the mansion, with Mario spotting them with the corner of his eye.
"You boys were hiding in those-a bushes this whole time?" Mario frowned at Lucas and Ness, before a Frisbee was thrown at his head, courtesy of Poochy. "Ow! Stop hitting me with-a that Frisbee, Poochy! Wait a minute, this is another Frisbee..."
"WHOEVER HAS MY FRISBEE...I'M GONNA KILL YOU!" someone was heard shouting from afar, no doubt in a very sour mood. Saving his hide, Mario scooped up Poochy and grabbed his own Frisbee before running inside his house.
"I still had no idea that your brother Claus was a masked luchador," Ness smirked at Lucas, while standing in front of an elevator. Lucas frowned, as Ness teasingly nudged him at his side. "I'm just messing with ya..."
"Got no idea what Toon Link was getting at back there," remarked Lucas, as he and Ness waited for the elevator door to open. "Drawing connections between Claus and Kasumi's dead sister...I barely know Kasumi, haven't even met her yet!"
"I bet that was only a one time thing, Toon Link won't bother you again." Soon the elevator door dinged, as it was ready to open. "This is our stop."
The elevator door opened, and before Lucas and Ness could enter the elevator, they were surprised to see Toon Link inside, staring at Lucas.
"...how long have you been hiding in that elevator?" Lucas concerningly asked Toon Link, unaware of how dedicated Toon Link was to his craft.
"Longer than what is needed..." replied Toon Link, before grabbing Lucas and pulling him inside the elevator. "Back off, Ness - the necromancer is all mine!"
"Necromancer?" Ness raised an eyebrow, standing on bewilderment as the elevator door closed. Took Ness a minute to realize that he was left behind. Some friend he was...
Young Link was in the gardens, informing Viridi about Pit's attempts to "flirt" with Kasumi. Viridi was busy watering some flowers.
"Are you really sure that Pit was flirting with the new girl?" asked Viridi, highly skeptical about the things that Young Link had told her. "He was just getting to know her, I'm sure."
"How could he, when he was throwing shade at Joker?" questioned Young Link, trying to get Viridi to think - but Viridi gave no thought whatsoever. "He's jockeying with Cilan, for the position of being Kasumi's one true love..."
Viridi: Pit would never have the stones to cheat on me with another girl. He's the kind of boy that would look up "how to cheat on your girlfriend" on Google. I should know, Coco showed me his browsing history...
Pit: To tell you the truth, I was trying to look up cheat codes to use against Viridi, since she schooled me the last time we played video games together. Instead, all I found was relationship advice from some men's health website. Not helpful in the slightest, but still a great read regardless!
"Cilan and Kasumi? That's unbelievable," snorted Viridi, as he continued to water the blooming flowers in the gardens. "The only thing that Cilan loves more than women is whatever food he's cooking in the kitchen."
"Okay...that may be true," replied Young Link, before putting his hand on Virid's shoulder. Viridi had a sudden urge to slap the Hylian's hand away. "But just so you know, it would be best to mentally prepare yourself for the moment Pit breaks up with you. Just saying."
"In that case...I should start preparing...right now..." Eyeing around the gardens, Viridi slowly backed away from Young Link, before she resumed watering the flowers.
"Hutch, can you read me?" Toon Link's voice was heard from Young Link's walkie-talkie, as Young Link quickly took out his communication device. "I need you to meet me back at the office - and bring Kasumi with you, if you can."
"Did you find out the truth about Kasumi's sister?" Young Link spoke into his walkie-talkie, thinking that Toon Link was on the verge of a breakthrough. "Is she really dead? Is she even a real person?"
"I don't have all the answers just yet, but I do have the necromancer Lucas with me. Just bring Kasumi over, and we'll piece all of this together!"
Kasumi was with Joker and Makoto in the cafe, speaking with Zelda. Zelda herself was a very chill person, meaning that she could vibe with any new resident...and Kasumi was no different.
"This mansion sure has all the works," remarked Kasumi, who had fixed herself a cup of coffee. "Is there anything that this mansion doesn't have?"
"I'd say that normalcy is high up on the list," replied Zelda - both Joker and Makoto could easily agree to that. "But, in all seriousness, this mansion has everything you could ask for."
"Joker did say earlier that Master Hand was very ambitious...I know that he did everything he could to make living at his mansion swell. Why, I love it already!"
"Let's give her two weeks, she'll change her mind in a hurry," Makoto whispered to Joker, as Young Link strolled in the hallway. Young Link looked inside the cafe, and saw Kasumi.
"Miss Yoshizawa...come with me," the Hylian said to the young woman, running inside the cafe and grabbing Kasumi's hand before running out. "The necromancer awaits!"
"What necromancer? What is going on?!" questioned Kasumi, as Young Link led her down the hallway. With the investigation ready to be cracked open, time was of the essence.
"You know what, I changed my mind...I'll give Kasumi a solid five days," Makoto whispered again to Joker, wondering how long Kasumi's optimism would last.
Fox and Krystal were still in Corneria, and the soon-to-be married couple felt like giving Falco and company an update. Which was why Fox contacted Falco through some cellular video app, to tell the good news.
"Krystal's mom is doing just fine," Fox said to Falco, Peppy, and Slippy, who were gathered together in the lounge seeing Fox on Falco's cellphone. "She's a hundred percent healthy now, and in great spirits!"
"Good to hear! I wonder if Krystal's mom has it in her to attend the wedding," said Peppy - Krystal's mom being at the wedding would be quite the occasion. "Speaking of the wedding, did you secure the venue?"
"Just spoke with the vendors - they say that the venue is ready to go next week. They got enough space to fit in as many guests as needed."
"Then it seems that everything has been set in stone," said Falco, already looking forward to April 3. He treated Fox and Krystal's wedding as if he were getting married himself! "Only seven more days!"
"Yep, just seven more days...oh, before I go, did the new girl show up today? Kasumi?"
"She showed up right after you left. Helped her unpack her belongings and everything. She's a pretty nice chick."
"Did you keep her out of trouble? Or keep her away from trouble?" This was a question that made Falco and company nervous, especially with Falco pulling on his collar. "Oy vey..."
Master Hand was enjoying his stroll with the three swordsmen, feeling more relaxed than he has been since the start of the week. The giant hand was mostly quiet, barely saying a word to Link, Champion Link, or Cloud...not that the swordsmen were complaining or anything.
"Can you believe that people hate staying at home?" Master Hand said to the three swordsmen, feeling an urge to vent. "They complain about waking up and having to go to work...but the government tells them to stay at home, and they whine and complain! Humans are always never satisfied."
"Seems like a great time to be walking your dog out," remarked Champion Link, watching as a man was outside walking his dog. Suddenly Master Hand came to a stop, gasping in fright. "What's the matter, Master Hand?"
"Turn back...we have to turn back now," advised Master Hand, seeing a certain merchant sitting alone on a bench. It was Anna, and she was looking down in the dumps.
"What for, it's just Anna," stated Cloud, seeing Anna on the bench from a distance. "What is she gonna do, infect you with capitalism?"
"Yes, exactly! She'll force me to spend my own hard-earned money, that greedy pig!" Silly Master Hand - almost none of your money was hard-earned. Stealing funds from Star Records ain't it.
"She looks pretty sad," observed Link, wanting to know why Anna was feeling so down. "We should go ask her why she's so upset."
"No, Link, that's a bad idea. She'll try to upsell you!" Ignoring Master Hand, Link went over to Anna, with Cloud and Champion Link following after him. Master Hand moaned. "Those boys are gonna be broke real soon..."
"Hey Anna," Link greeted the merchant, with Cloud and Champion Link standing at his side. Anna tried to force a smile, although it was pretty weak. "What's up?"
"Hi Link...and friends," Anna greeted Link and company, before heaving a saddened sigh. "I just haven't been feeling the same since I closed down my shop..."
"Oh? I beg your pardon?" Master Hand perked up, as he magically appeared at the scene. There was a remarkable amount of excitement in his voice.
"I take it that you had to close down your shop because of the pandemic?" inquired Cloud, to which Anna nodded her head. This was apparently great news to Master Hand.
"Had to close down my shop today, as a recommendation from the health experts. Business wasn't as usual before the virus got big in the city."
"Really sorry to hear that. I take it that Beedle had to close his shop too, huh?"
"Not only him, but everyone else at the food market had to close their shops as well. And depending on how things are going...my shop sadly won't be open anytime soon..."
"WOO HOO!" cheered Master Hand, acting very insensitive as he was relishing in the apparent joy of Anna's shop being closed. For him, Anna closing her shop was a huge victory.
Anna: Very rarely do I close down my shop, unless due to dire circumstances...and clearly we're in a dire circumstance right now. Without my shop, I don't know what to do to bid my time...this is one of the worst days of my life.
"This is one of the best days of my life!" exclaimed Master Hand, the happiest he's ever felt since who knows how long. "Take that, capitalism!"
"You do have a place to stay at, right?" Link asked Anna, while Master Hand continued to celebrate at Anna's expense. "Like, do you live in an apartment, or...?"
"No, I just live in a tent at the food market, where my shop is," replied Anna - at least she doesn't have to worry about paying bills. " I had to remove my tent from the premises."
"Tell you what...Champion Link, Cloud and I can sneak you inside the mansion. We can let you chill with us, until the virus dies down and you can re-open your shop." Anna was very much delighted by Link's suggestion, as she went from sad to jovial in an instant.
"You'd do that for us? You're so nice, Link! But what about Master Hand, what if he knows that I'm in this mansion?"
"No worries, we can change your living arrangements if we have to. Trust me, this will only be temporary..."
Kasumi was in the buddy cops' office, seated at a table with Lucas. The young woman looked around the office, before seeing the buddy cops' board of suspects, with residents a many having their pictures on the board: Altair as the "Arabian Robin Hood", Cuphead as "Rejected Warner Bros Star", Ryo Sakazaki as "Poor Man's Ken Masters", so on and so forth.
"So this whole police thing...is it a job you boys like to do?" Kasumi asked the buddy cops, who were busy reviewing their notes and eating malasadas.
"It's not just our job...it's our LIFE!" affirmed Toon Link, who took his duties as a buddy cop a little too seriously. Although everyone knew that. "It's our bread and butter."
"And it's also our whipped cream, and everything else on top," added Young Link, as Kasumi made a very confused face. Not sure what Young Link meant by that. "Now it is time for our necromancy to begin."
"Look, you guys, I am NOT a necromancer," Lucas told the buddy cops, who made sure that the door to their office was locked. "Just because I know a bunch of PSI spells doesn't mean I can connect with the dead."
"But you are a telepath, aren't you? Surely that must mean you can communicate with dead people, such as Kasumi's sister for instance."
"Why are you so interested in my late sister?" Kasumi asked Young Link, wondering how the buddy cops knew of her sister. That's when she remembered the conversation she had with Joker and Makoto in the gaming room. "Were you boys eavesdropping on me earlier?"
"That right now is none of your concern," replied Toon Link, before directing his attention to the "necromancer" known as Lucas. "Okay, Lucas...use your necromancy skills to reach out to Kasumi's sister if you can."
"Once again, I'm not a necromancer, but here it goes I guess..." sighed Lucas. The PSI whiz closed his eyes and made a humming sound, making it seem like he was using his necromancy powers which were clearly nonexistent.
"What do you see, Lucas?" Toon Link asked the PSI whiz, who had his fingers on his forehead as he was hamming up his imaginary powers. "Describe it the best way you can!"
"I see...a girl...and she's very pretty...she hasn't told me her name yet.." Lucas closed his eyes even harder, just to make his necromancy look more believable.
"But is this girl Kasumi's sister?" asked Young Link, as he and Toon Link were desperate for answers. "Tell us, tell us now!"
"Yes! She just said that her last name is Yoshizawa. She's definitely related to Kasumi." This was news to the buddy cops, who were on the fencer as to whether or not Kasumi's sister was a real person.
"Great! But wait, if you're able to reach her...then that must mean that she's dead, right?"
"Now she's telling me that she's dead...and now she wants me to leave her alone." Lucas was now done, as he opened his eyes and took his fingers away from his forehead. "So, Kasumi's sister is really dead."
"And that much is the truth," confirmed Kasumi, as the buddy cops both nodded their heads in cruel realization. "Toon Link, Young Link...why did you two want to know so bad?"
"We just...we just thought that you were making things up," confessed Toon Link, as Kasumi gave the Hylian an amused smile. "Thought you were using the tale of your sister to gain some clout around the mansion."
"If you know me, you'd know that I couldn't care less about clout. I'm perfectly fine with my standing here, and nothing can change that."
"In that case...guess this means the case is closed," confirmed Young Link, putting the investigation to bed...before realizing that another case was afoot. "Wait, what about Cilan and Pit, and all those other men yearning for Kasumi's affection?"
"Yearning for my affection? What are you talking about?" Kasumi furrowed her brow, before there was a knock on the door. The buddy cops donned their bow and arrows.
"Hello, it's me, Joker!" Joker called out from behind the door. "Kasumi, are you in there?"
"Stay put, I'll unlock the door," Toon Link told Young Link, as he crept towards the door and unlocked it before resuming his position. The door slowly creaked open, and the buddy cops were ready to fire...
...but the buddy cops instead held their fire, as the door was opened wide and Joker was seen standing with Anna. Both Toon Link and Young Link lowered their guards.
"Ah, there you are, Kasumi," a relieved Joker said to Kasumi, who waved at the young man, before looking down at the buddy cops. "Can I trust you boys to keep this woman in your office?"
"Anna the merchant?" asked Toon Link, before looking to his left and seeing a makeshift jail cell. Which was actually a closet. "Did she commit a heinous crime?"
"No, we're just hiding her in the mansion for the time being. Link and Champion Link went through all the trouble of sneaking her inside, while Cloud had Master Hand distracted. Can't let Master Hand know about Anna."
"I won't be here forever; this will only be temporary," Anna assured the buddy cops, smiling with her finger on her cheek. A trademark of hers.
"Eh...I guess we can keep her around," shrugged Toon Link, seeing no harm in hiding Anna. Master Hand was the only thing he and Young Link had to worry about.
Cloud: Anna can't set up her tent outside the mansion, since her being on the mansion grounds would make Master Hand throw a fit. So we're keeping the tent over at Travis' camper for the time being. We tried asking Travis if he minded Anna living with him short-term, but he didn't want anyone destroying his "ideal lifestyle"...living in that camper has obviously driven him insane.
"So, is Master Hand back at the mansion again?" asked a worried Lucas, being reminded of the window he broke while playing baseball with Ness. "I'll just...chill in here for a bit..."
"You can go ahead and stay...I should get going," Kasumi told Lucas, getting up from the table as she joined Joker at the doorway. "Still want to show me around, Joker?"
"Actually, Cilan wants to see you in the kitchen," replied Joker, as the buddy cops suddenly perked up and gave a very attentive ear. "He wants to invite you for lunch...with me and all of our friends."
"Wait a minute...Cilan wouldn't be in love with Kasumi if he invited her out to lunch with a bunch of other people," Young Link discussed with Toon Link; it seemed like he was connecting all the dots together. "...otherwise it would just be him...and Kasumi..."
"After that, I can show you around Mimi Mementos. A few of my friends and I built it underneath the mansion, I think you'll like it."
"I'm looking forward to it," replied Kasumi, as she followed Joker out of the buddy cops' office. The buddy cops were just standing there, dumbfounded.
"So if Cilan isn't in love with Kasumi...then surely Pit isn't in love with Kasumi either..." remarked Young Link, having connected all the dots together. "...looks like Kasumi is safe. For now."
"Um...where exactly will I be staying at?" Anna approached the buddy cops, before taking note of the makeshift jail cell in their office and pointing at it. "I'm not staying in...there, am I?"
"Something tells me that our jail cell needs some remodeling," said Toon Link, before directing his attention to Anna. "We'll spruce up the jail cell for you, madam. No worries."
Master Hand felt like he was on cloud nine after hearing the news about Anna's shop, and he was so happy that he didn't even know about Anna's presence in the mansion. The giant hand was in his room with Cloud, who was not only keeping him company but keeping him contained.
"I am so overjoyed!" exclaimed Master Hand, who felt like doing cartwheels around his room if he was physically capable of doing so. "Anna's shop is closed (albeit temporarily) which means that all the other capitalists can suck it!"
"Like you're the one to talk about being anti-capitalist," mumbled Cloud, who was leaning against a wall with his arms folded. Master Hand kept on celebrating, only to stop when he noticed a baseball lying on the floor.
"How did this get here?" Master Hand picked up the baseball, before looking at his window...and seeing that it was broken. Master Hand was seething, as he looked outside through the hole that was made in the window.
"That happy fit was fun while it lasted..." Cloud had this to say, as a ticked off Master Hand looked outside any culprits. No one was outside, for the time being...until Mario left his house, holding a baseball bat. An easy culprit in Master Hand's eyes.
"Mario...you're DEAD MEAT!" Master Hand shouted at Mario, pointing at the plumber. Mario, seeing Master Hand, quickly scrambled back inside his house. "Meh, I'll get him later."
"Phew, that was a close one..." Cloud knew that if Master Hand were to hunt down the culprit in his mansion (Lucas or Ness), he would find Anna eventually. "...sure hope they found a good hiding spot for Anna."
"What about Anna?" Master Hand asked Cloud, after overhearing the swordsman; Cloud quickly shook his head. "No matter, Anna had to close down her shop...it's a victory for all of us."
Maybe only you, Master Hand...
Toon Link: As it turns out, Kasumi's sister really is dead...and nobody has shown any affection for Kasumi, as far as we're concerned. We were just being delusional - a blue moon kind of thing for us. Now we have to renovate our jail cell, if it'll appease that merchant chick Anna. Mr. Game and Watch can hopefully get it done, without spilling the beans to Master Hand, or anyone else. Now, Hutch...theme music!
Young Link: *sings Law and Order theme song*
