Author's Note:
Yup, you guessed it...another Thanksgiving chapter. You knew it was coming. I'll never understand how I manage to finish these kinds of chapters just in time for Thanksgiving. Guess my work ethic is just that strong. Enjoy! And happy Thanksgiving! Can't end the author's note without saying that...
Episode 258: Turkey
It was a very special Thanksgiving for Fox and Krystal, as they were ready to celebrate the holiday for the first time as a married couple. They were all ready to go, as they had everything they needed and then some - the dressing, the ham, the dinner rolls, the pumpkin pie, and of course, the turkey.
Falco was expected to attend Fox and Krystal's Thanksgiving dinner, and Fox was highly expecting his best friend to show up. For years, Falco had to endure the food fight at every Thanksgiving feast at the mansion - while the avian pilot didn't mind the senseless fighting, he was always at the receiving end of things. One year, someone even poured hot gravy down his pants!
But Falco wouldn't have to worry about any gravy-soaked pants this year, for he had set his mind upon Fox and Krystal's Thanksgiving meal. There he could eat to his heart's contents, without the possibility of a food fight looming over his head. While Falco would be invited to the feast at Fox's house, the avian pilot wouldn't be the only guest present...
"I got the turkey, you guys!" announced Anna as she entered Fox's house, carrying a turkey in her hands. Fox and Krystal, who were sitting together in the dining room, just looked at the merchant.
"Uh, Anna...we already had a turkey picked out," Fox informed the merchant, who looked bummed out as she went through all that trouble finding the right turkey for nothing. "It's cooking in the oven right now."
"Aw phooey! This was my one chance to give you guys a token of my gratitude, and you decided to ruin it...guess I'll take this turkey back to the sweatshop."
"...actually, you can go ahead and put it in the kitchen," Krystal said to Anna, who did as she was told. "We'll figure out what to do with it." A turkey from a sweatshop sounded awfully suspect - which was why Krystal planned on throwing out the turkey later.
Fox: Master Hand still hates Anna's guts and won't let her inside the mansion, so I took it upon ourselves to welcome Anna into our home. (Krystal took a while to sway over.) Anna has been a surprisingly decent house guest, for the most part; she's not a freeloader like Yuffie, so we don't have to worry about potentially running out of food. As for how Master Hand feels about Anna staying with us, well...you might wanna ask him yourself.
Master Hand: I am baffled, EXTREMELY baffled, mind you...how is it that Fox and Krystal are still alive?! You'd think that a vile woman like Anna would've murdered them in their sleep already. I know for a fact that Fox and Krystal are living on borrowed time; every time I try to tell Fox that, he just laughs at me and walks away. Day by day, his ignorance worries me...
With the front door still left open, Falco casually waltzed his way inside Fox's home, looking around quietly before closing the front door. The avian pilot then tiptoed his way to the dining room, trying not to make too much sound...
"Happy Thanksgiving, Falco," Krystal greeted the avian pilot, who groaned and snapped his fingers in disgust. The fact that Krystal was able to detect Falco's presence while looking at the TV was miraculous.
"Happy Thanksgiving to you, Krystal...I guess," responded Falco as he felt overly salty over being caught, before looking towards the kitchen and seeing not much action going on over there. "So, Fox, where's the Thanksgiving breakfast?"
"Thanksgiving breakfast?" Fox furrowed his brow as he looked at Falco like he was talking some silly talk. "I never said anything about a Thanksgiving breakfast. Unless you're talking about those cinnamon rolls."
"C'mon man, it's Thanksgiving! You should have a Thanksgiving breakfast, a Thanksgiving lunch, AND a Thanksgiving fourth meal. Get with the times!"
"Pardon my ignorance, but what is a 'fourth meal'?" Anna curiously asked Falco; she had heard the term "fourth meal" before - from a restaurant ad she saw on a billboard - but just wanted some clarification.
"It's like a snack that occurs very late in the day, between dinner and breakfast. Essentially, it's a late-night snack. A midnight snack, if you will."
"So then how can there be a 'Thanksgiving fourth meal' if it supposedly takes place after midnight?" questioned Krystal, failing to see the logic behind this whole fourth meal concept. "Thanksgiving will already be over!"
"Fine then...we'll just call it a Black Friday fourth meal! But since it takes place before Black Friday, it would be a Pre-Black Friday fourth meal. On second thought, that doesn't sound right either..."
"You know what, just forget about it," Fox said to Falco as he finally put this Thanksgiving fourth meal nonsense to bed. "Falco, do you want breakfast? How about I make you some pancakes?"
"Eh, I'll take some," Falco shrugged in response as Fox went into the kitchen to make some breakfast. "You still have that strawberry syrup, right?"
"You mean the same syrup that you drink out of at night when I'm not around? Yeah, you're out of luck, buddy..."
Every Thanksgiving Mario watched the Macy's parade, and for one reason - to see his float in all its glory. The plumber couldn't care less about the marching bands, the Broadway dancers, the Sesame Street muppets, or even Jimmy Fallon and The Roots; as long as he saw his parade float, the parade was an A-plus in his eyes.
But as Mario watched the parade in his living room, he was getting restless for he had yet to see his parade float. The plumber was biting his fingernails nervously through his white gloves, hoping and even praying that his float would make an appearance.
"First the virus tried-a to cancel the Macy's Thanksgiving parade," Mario said to Spyro, who was watching the parade in the living room with Mario against his own bitter judgment. "Now it's trying to cancel my parade-a float!"
"Like the virus actually cares about that stupid parade float," remarked Spyro, leading Mario to give the purple dragon a glare that shook him to his core. "Uh, I mean, a VERY INTELLIGENT parade float!"
"Ah, that's more-a like it. But I don't understand, they usually show my float-a in the middle of the parade..."
"They don't have to show your float every year - not like you're the only relevant video game icon out there. Who knows, maybe your float might show up later."
"You're right...perhaps they're saving the best-a for..." Mario stopped talking and gasped when he saw his parade float on the television screen. The plumber then stood up and clapped, smiling at the large balloon crafted in his likeness.
"Has any person ever has been this excited over a parade float?" Spyro asked his dragonfly companion, Sparx, as Mario was beaming with pride. The wait for the plumber was well worth it.
"AW YEAH, THERE IT IS, LET'S-A GO! KEEP ROLLING THAT BAD-A BOY DOWN THE STREET!" Mario was now doing a chef's kiss at the parade float on the television screen, which Spyro found gratuitous.
Cappy: Spyro said that Mario's parade float was very intelligent. Wouldn't that mean the person operating the parade float was a huge fan of Rick and Morty? Or has that joke already run its course?
After he did his chef's kiss, Mario took out a Poke Ball and sent out Calyrex, who was riding atop Spectrier as always. The plumber wanted the king Pokemon to see his parade float.
"Look at that, Calyrex - that's my float-a at the Thanksgiving parade!" Mario said to the king Pokemon as he pointed at the television screen. Calyrex looked at Mario's parade float and didn't seem like it cared.
"Did you get to see your float, sweetie?" Peach asked Mario as she entered the living room, and saw from the joy on Mario's face that the answer was a resounding yes. Mario was so happy that he even hugged Peach!
"This is so excessive..." Spyro said to Sparx, shaking his head as he saw Mario hugging Peach. Hunter came into the living room, seeing Mario hug Peach, and wanted in on the action.
"Let's bring it all in..." said Hunter as he approached Mario and Peach with arms wide open...only for Mario to push the cheetah away. "...okay, I can respect your decision."
"That was longest-a I ever had to wait for my parade-a float," Mario said to Peach, speaking as if he had suffered through an actual hardship. "They sure know how to keep a man-a waiting!"
"Well, I'm glad you got to see your parade float, Mario. Maybe one year Luigi will get his own float at the parade!" The thought of that caused Mario to laugh, as the plumber slapped his knee.
"Ha! Luigi at the Thanksgiving Parade?! No offense, but he has a better chance-a at not burning his turkey!"
Yes, Luigi was prone to burning his turkey every Thanksgiving, no matter what the plumber did to avoid it. Even when he ordered a premade turkey from Anna, the roasted fowl still caught on fire in the oven. But Luigi sought to turn his fortunes around, with the help of a certain mansion resident.
"I shall be your courage!" the Flying Man said to Luigi as he saluted the plumber, guarding the oven. The mythical beast was asked to watch over the turkey, which he would protect with his own life.
"Good, the turkey will hopefully be safe-a by the time I get back," said Luigi as he took out some car keys, about to leave his house. "I'm gonna run-a by the store to get some cran-a berry sauce."
"Shall I prepare the dinner rolls for you in your absence?" While Luigi appreciated the kind gesture from the Flying Man, he didn't want the mythical beast to steal his shine. Especially on a day like Thanksgiving.
"No thanks, Daisy's got that covered. Just watch over the turkey until-a I get back. Capiche?" After the Flying Man gave Luigi a thumbs up, Luigi confidently left his house. Once Luigi was out of the house, the Flying Man sat on the floor, staring at the turkey through the oven glass door.
"Alright turkey...it's you and me now." The Flying Man was now staring at the turkey, having sentimental conversations with it. Yuffie came inside the kitchen, peeking around the corner. "I am your courage..."
"Hey, Flying Man, aren't you technically a bird?" Yuffie asked the mythical bird, whose gaze on the turkey remained intact. Even then, the Flying Man was still willing to answer Yuffie's question.
"That, my dear Yuffie, is a question I sometimes ask myself when I'm in bed. Or when I'm sitting on the toilet. My legs fall asleep quickly, which makes my pondering go away."
"...okay, but are you a bird or not? I know you have a beak and feathers...so are you really a bird?" The question continued to weigh heavily in the Flying Man's mind, picking apart his brain.
"You know what, Yuffie? I am a bird! But not just any bird - the mightiest bird around! Most courageous bird there is, bar none!"
"Ha, knew I wasn't crazy! But if you are a bird...then why are you so chill about the turkey in the oven?"
"What do you mean by that? It's just a turkey, soon to be ready for consumption - should I be worried?"
"Should you be worried that a turkey was killed so it could be eaten on some holiday? Shouldn't birds like you stick for other birds?"
"You do have a point there..." Now faced with a sudden existential crisis, the Flying Man slowly stood up as he broke his gaze away from the turkey. "...what am I doing?! I'm supposed to be everyone's courage, yet I allow my bird brethren to be slaughtered for the gluttonous pleasure of humans. What is wrong with me?!"
"I think you should do something about this slaughtering." The Flying Man knew that Yuffie was right - he couldn't stand to let turkeys throughout America be killed for the sake of Thanksgiving.
"Right you are, something must be done...FLYING MAN, AWAY!" Running away like a superhero, the Flying Man ran out of Luigi's house, on a mission to save turkeys everywhere. Daisy showed up in the kitchen shortly after the Flying Man left.
"Is he gone? Thank goodness," said Daisy, sounding relieved as Yuffie was taking a close look at the turkey in the oven. "His whole 'courage' schtick has always annoyed me."
"I feel the same way," agreed Yuffie, rubbing her hands together deviously as she smiled at the turkey. "Now that Luigi and the Flying Man are gone, it's time to get down to business..."
Aside from Luigi's turkey catching on fire, another Thanksgiving tradition was the List of Bowser. Bowser would go around the mansion, adding a slew of residents to his list for being stupid idiots. Always finding any reason he could find to put their name on the list. With Bowser still restricted from leaving the mansion by Master Hand, all the new additions to the list had to be in-house.
Bowser: Due to popular demand (which is somehow extremely low every Thanksgiving), the List of Bowser has returned! Who made it on the list this year? Let's take a look, shall we? *pulls out the List of Bowser* Alex was added to the list for having a boy's name, Byleth was added to the list for wearing hot pants as a professor, Vault Boy was added to the list for winking at me the wrong way, and Altair was added to the list for...
Altair: *runs past Bowser and steals the List of Bowser from him*
Bowser: Hey you, give that back! *chases after Altair* If I see that you removed your name from the list, you're a goner!
Bowser was on the hunt for people to add to his list, and during his search, the Koopa King ran into Riku and Kairi in the middle of the hallway. The two best friends, being new to the mansion, were easy pickings for Bowser.
"Is this your first time celebrating Thanksgiving, you two?" Bowser asked Riku and Kairi, hoping that both of them would say yes. The Koopa King was bound to be disappointed real soon.
"We actually celebrated Thanksgiving a few times on Destiny Island," replied Riku as Bowser angrily stomped his foot on the floor. That was not the kind of response Bowser wanted. "Sora always embarrassed himself choking on the turkey leg."
"Dang it! I mean, uh...is there anything you hated about Thanksgiving?" When it came to adding people to his list, Bowser was always in desperation mode.
"I did hate the fact that we were encouraged to eat a lot," Kairi offered her two cents as Bowser looked at the girl, wanting her to say more. "I didn't like it, because it always made my stomach full!"
"Aha! So you admit to having some form of anorexia. Bet you didn't even know that you had it, did you? You just made the list!"
"How could Kairi be anorexic when she was still a kid at the time?" Riku questioned Bowser, who was too busy adding Kairi's name on the list. Little did the silverette know that he was bound to be on the list next. "She just didn't like being full."
"Oh yeah? How do you know Kairi was anorexic back then? You sound like a know-it-all! And you know what know-it-alls are? Stupid idiots! Which is why you're going on the list!"
"The list sounds pretty dumb..." Riki said to Kairi, who nodded in agreement as Bowser wrote down Riku's name on his list. Sora came down the hallway, happy to see his two favorite people up ahead.
"Hey there, Sora, I have some good news for you!" Bowser said to the Keyblade wielder, who caught up with Riku and Kairi. Sora had known Bowser long enough to know that any "good news" from him was the complete opposite.
"Not gonna fall for it, Bowser," Sora said to the Koopa King, standing his ground as he folded his arms. "I'm not that easy to dupe!"
"No, wait, this is actually good news! You, Riku, and Kairi now have something else in common...you're all stupid idiots on the List of Bowser! Just added Riku and Kairi to the list - they both deserved it."
"So they're stupid idiots now, huh? I know someone who's the bigger stupid idiot...who's the only person in this mansion who got themselves in so much trouble, they're not allowed to leave?"
"Oh man, that's an easy one! The only person who has that distinction is..." Bowser was about to answer, but when he realized what the answer was, he froze immediately with his eyes wide open.
"Man, whoever that is must be the biggest stupid idiot around," chuckled Riku, as he found Bowser frozen in shock to be very amusing. "So Sora, what's up?"
"Cilan's got some breakfast rolls in the dining room," Sora said to Riku and Kairi, before heading down the hallway and beckoning his friends to follow him. "You guys are gonna love 'em!" So Riku and Kairi followed after Sora, leaving behind Bowser who was still frozen in place.
When it came to Thanksgiving, Cilan always went ham making food for the big feast. The connoisseur made multiple turkeys and made more than enough grub to accommodate for it. Cilan was cooking away in the kitchen, with Cloud watching his progress.
"Cilan, do you take suggestions?" Pit asked the connoisseur as he entered the kitchen with a note in his hand. "As in like, food suggestions?"
"Of course, Pit! I'm always open to suggestions," replied Cilan as he was making some gravy; Cloud was about to dissuade Cilan from entertaining Pit, but it was already too hate.
"Good! Because I was thinking that we should have some popcorn and jelly beans at the feast today." Not sure how he should feel, Cilan furrowed his brow as he kept on stirring the gravy on the stove.
"Popcorn and jelly beans sounds nice for movie night. Thanksgiving, not so much. But thanks for coming forth with some suggestions, Pit."
"Wait I'm not done! I was also thinking that maybe we should have some pretzel sticks, too. With French toast on the side."
"Pit, are you being serious right now? We're not having French toast for Thanksgiving." Cilan was being quite assertive right now, which was a very necessary skill when it came to dealing with Pit.
"I was just thinking that this year's feast should be a mix of Thanksgiving ideals! The Pilgrims believed in tradition, having turkey and pumpkin pie; Charlie Brown believed in having fun, serving popcorn and French toast instead. We should combine the two ideals, and..."
"You silly goose, it was Snoopy who served the popcorn and the toast and all that other junk! Did you not watch that Thanksgiving special?"
"Don't mind if I butt in, but I have a suggestion," Cloud spoke up, raising his hand as Cilan gave the swordsman his uninvited attention. "Pit, why don't you stop with the idiocy?"
"You see it as idiocy...I see it as a blending of cultures!" Pit defended himself to Cloud, ready to get his Uncle Sam on. "Isn't that what America's all about? Being the Great American Melting Pot?"
"Leave now..." Cloud commanded Pit as he pointed out of the kitchen entrance. Pit, choosing to save his own hide, scurried out of the kitchen as he left Cloud and Cilan alone. Cilan could go back to cooking in peace.
"Thank you for getting rid of that angel, Cloud!" Cilan thanked the swordsman, who shrugged his shoulders and let out a simple "meh". It was the very least that Cloud could do. "I would've told him off but I don't have it in me just yet..."
With his weird food suggestions turned down by Cilan, Pit wandered through the foyer, looking for something to bid his time with until it was time for the Thanksgiving meal to begin. Then the doorbell rang, meaning that a few guests for the feast had arrived.
"Sure hope they brought some popcorn!" exclaimed Pit as he answered the front door. The angel was startled to see Sombra and Reaper standing on the porch, with both Talon operatives holding two bags of dinner rolls. Copper and Booker were both fainted on the porch, likely from seeing Reaper again.
"Feliz de Acción de Gracias, chico," Sombra greeted Pit, who struggled to keep up with what the hacker said. Frankly, that was too much Spanish for the angel to fully comprehend. "We brought some panecillos!"
"And we got them for free," stated Reaper as he took out one of his pistols, showing it off to Pit. Pit was mentally strong, unlike Copper and Booker, so the pistol didn't frighten him as much. "Had those grocery workers peeing their pants..."
"Hispanic people celebrate Thanksgiving too?!" Pit asked Sombra and Reaper, apparently astonished to learn this very fact. He must've missed Meta Knight at the Thanksgiving feasts. "Or are you two outliers? If not, then the Great American Melting Pot is still doing its thing!"
"There's no way he's that dense," Reaper said to Sombra, as Pit continued to be amazed. Pit looked up at the heavens and smiled proudly, no doubt thinking of how amazing of a country the United States was.
"Trust me, you haven't seen anything yet," replied Sombra as she and Reaper went inside the mansion, with Pit still looking up at the heavens. "Now let's drop off these dinner rolls, and see what Samus is up to..."
"Can't believe she invited you over for Thanksgiving...bet she was barely even listening to you, like when you asked about that dumb Halloween party."
Reaper: That Halloween party could've gone better. I tried to be lowkey and hang in the back with Sombra, but the partygoers were giving me weird looks. Hopefully, they were just scared of my presence - would be worth it if I get similar reactions at the dinner later today. As for me being possessed by Mario's big-head friend...That was a Pokemon? They're really going off on the deep end, aren't they...
Football always went hand-in-hand with Thanksgiving, and it was always the same two teams playing every year - the Detroit Lions and the Dallas Cowboys. If the National Football League actually loved the American people, they wouldn't torture them with the same lousy football teams every Thanksgiving...but sadly, they didn't know any better.
Usually Sonic would watch football with his friends - Tails, Knuckles, and Crash. And maybe even Shadow, if Sonic implored enough. But after what happened in the previous episode, Crash chose not to hang out with Sonic, giving the blue hedgehog the cold shoulder.
"Where did it all go wrong?" asked Sonic, sitting on the couch with Tails and Knuckles and watching some football in the living room. "How did things go bad between me and Crash?"
"You know exactly what you did," Tails said to Sonic, having enough of the hedgehog's pity party. Sonic repeatedly told Tails about Crash giving him the cold shoulder, and Tails tuned out each conversation.
"I didn't expect Crash to catch on - he goes along with just about anything without a second thought! But after Coco showed him some 'evidence', he thinks that I did him dirty? C'mon!"
"That evidence was pretty damning, not gonna lie," said Knuckles as he took a bite from his breakfast roll. "Putting Sora's wallet in the vending machine, that was pretty messed up, Sonic."
"Coco showed you the security footage too?!" Even more disgusted in himself, Sonic buried his face in his hands and shook his head. "How will I ever recover from this?"
"You know, you could always apologize to Crash..." Tails suggested to Sonic; at the rate that he was going, Sonic might not have enough in him to tell Crash an apology, straight up. "...he wasn't the one trying to manufacture some fake beef and get his friend's siblings implicated."
"Hey fellas, got a quick question," asked Silver the Hedgehog, one of the guests invited over for Thanksgiving, as he entered the living room. "Don't mind if I ask, but who are the Cowboys playing this year?"
"They're playing the Washington Football Team," answered Knuckles as he finished off his breakfast roll. The echidna thought of it as the greatest breakfast roll he ever had...albeit being the only time he ever had one.
"That's right, they're playing Washington! Heard recently that they changed their name. So what are they called now?"
"...they're called the Washington Football Team." Knuckles was giving the right answer, and yet Silver still wasn't convinced.
"Yeah, I know they're a football team in Washington, I just wanted to know what their new team name is. So what is it?"
"I literally just told you what it is, the Washington Football Team! Are you that hard of hearing or something?"
"Look I get it, they're a football team and they're based in Washington, D.C. I already know that much. But what's their new team name? Is it the Redhawks, or the Red Wings? No, wait, the Red Wings are a hockey team..."
"I'm done...you can go ahead and educate him," Knuckles said to Tails, calling it quits as he left the living room. Tails looked exasperated, while Sonic had a thousand-mile stare going on.
"Man...where did it all go wrong?" Sonic asked himself, as he asked that same question almost every day.
Master Hand was going around the mansion, asking the residents if they were in the Thanksgiving spirit. The latest resident to be harassed by the giant hand was Joker, who was on his phone in the cafe minding his own business.
"You ready for the Thanksgiving feast, Joker?" Master Hand asked the young man, who was eating a doughnut; Tom Nook had bought some from Dunkin' Donuts for the residents to nibble on.
"Sure, I guess," replied Joker as he scrolled on his phone - couldn't care less about Master Hand hovering right over him. Sitting at the table across from Joker was Naoto, who was eating a doughnut as well.
"What about you, Naoto, are you 'turnt' for the Thanksgiving feast?" Master Hand eagerly asked the police detective, using some hip terminology to portray himself as a cool individual. Naoto gave Master Hand a dubious glare, meaning that Master Hand might've failed.
"If I answer yes, will you leave me alone?" Naoto asked Master Hand, perceiving that the giant hand was eagerly nodding his head. "Then yes, I'm excited about the feast...I cannot wait."
"I can't wait either, Naoto Shirogane! I guarantee you that this Thanksgiving meal will be the greatest Thanksgiving dinner ever! Mark my words!"
"I bet he makes guarantees like that every Thanksgiving," Joker murmured to Naoto, as he felt Master Hand beaming with absolute joy inside.
Master Hand: Pleases me greatly to know that Joker is still in the Halloween spirit, despite the ongoing pandemic. I've seen plenty of young people around Joker's age, using the pandemic as an excuse to not celebrate Thanksgiving this year. Using the Virus-That-Shall-Not-Be-Named as a Get Out Of Jail Free card to not see their evil, racist uncles. I don't know if Joker has any uncles, but if he does, and they're all racist, then he must love them unconditionally!
Master Hand was filled with great joy as he left the cafe, heading down the hallway. However, all that joy vanished away when he encountered Yoshi, wearing a mask...which was under his nose, apparently. Perhaps the green dinosaur couldn't find a mask that was the right size for his noggin.
"Yoshi, you're doing it all wrong," Master Hand said to the green dinosaur, who was clueless as to what he was doing wrong. "The mask is supposed to go OVER your nostrils, not underneath!"
"I know, I know, but the other masks are just too small," replied Yoshi as he adjusted the mask over his nose. It was no use - the mask was practically stuck. "This is sadly as far as it can go."
"Then you should start wearing a face shield. No, that giant nose of yours would get in the way...why not wear a Stormtrooper helmet instead?"
"Nah, a Darth Vader helmet is more of my style. Anyway, I was thinking that we should do something drastically different for Thanksgiving this year."
"Something different, eh? I'm an open book, most of the time, so I'm open to any ideas you have. As long as they're not illegal. Lay on it me, Yoshi!"
"Hear me out...this year, why don't we do...a Zoom Thanksgiving?" Yoshi did his best to sell Master Hand on the idea, exclaiming loudly with his arms out wide. Master Hand was more confused than interested.
"'Zoom Thanksgiving'? Am I hearing this right? So basically the same Thanksgiving feast, but with everybody being recorded while some neckbeard in his basement watches everyone eat on his computer screen?"
"No, no, no, that's not how it works! Zoom Thanksgiving is basically where everyone goes to a separate location, join a Zoom meeting, and eat Thanksgiving food on-camera! Requires a lot of moving bodies, but we can make it work."
"That doesn't sound like it'll work...a Zoom meeting can only have so many people. We can't just have one big, fat video meeting with over a hundred people, it would mess up the servers!"
"Then we'll just divvy it up - the Phantom Thieves will have a Zoom meeting, the Koopalings will have a Zoom meeting, The Dragon Quest heroes can have a Zoom meeting, so on and so forth. It'll be fun!"
"Well, I beg to differ...we'll just stick to the usual Thanksgiving feast. Some people around here can't be trusted with handling technology..."
"Okay then, I just wanted to throw some ideas out there. Just wanted to keep everyone in the mansion safe, for the most part."
"Keep everyone safe from what, the Virus-That-Shall-Not-Be-Named? I assume that the residents have built up enough herd immunity, assuming that someone unknowingly caught the virus. We should be good to go."
"You seem to know everything, Master Hand...so I'll take your word for it. Thanks." Yoshi walked away, and Master Hand was about to leave himself - only for Bowser to approach him.
"Can I speak with you in your room?" Bowser asked the giant hand, looking pretty insecure and unsure of himself. "It won't be long..."
Fox, Falco, Krystal, and Anna were all gathered in the dining room, having some Thanksgiving lunch. What did Thanksgiving lunch consist of, you ask? Just a turkey sandwich with tomatoes, lettuce, and cheese. Falco prepared the sandwiches himself.
"So...Thanksgiving lunch is kinda lit, isn't it?" Falco asked Fox and company, with Fox and Krystal both inclined to strongly disagree. Anna on the other hand...
"You know, it's not as bad as I thought it would be," the merchant offered her two cents, as Fox and Krystal gave her crazy looks. "Was expecting a bit more, but either way, I'm sold!"
"Clearly, you have no standards," Fox said to Anna before he heard his doorbell ring. Falco instantly perked up. "Was that the doorbell just now?"
"Sweet! The guests have arrived," exclaimed Falco, rubbing his hands together as he ran to the front door. Falco opened the front door and saw two few guests standing outside...Phoenix Wright and his adopted daughter, Trucy.
"Happy Thanksgiving, Mr. Lombardi!" Phoenix greeted Falco as Krystal looked on from the dining room with a big frown on her face. "Trucy finally got the doorbell to work."
"Phoenix! Trucy! Come right on in." Falco would let the two inside Fox's house, with Fox shaking his head at his best friend. Phoenix saw Fox and company at the dining room table, giving them a smile and a wave.
Fox: Invites Doom Slayer to my wedding, and Phoenix Wright to my Thanksgiving dinner...how does Falco keep on having so much pull? What am I doing wrong? I have to do better!
"Hope you're all having a great Thanksgiving so far," Phoenix said to Fox and company, as she and Phoenix were making themselves at home. Krystal couldn't stand seeing Phoenix and Trucy in her home but didn't have the energy to give them the boot.
"Falco, I don't mean to be rude...but why did you invite them?" Krystal asked the avian pilot, who tried to take off Phoenix's coat even though Phoenix swatted his hands away multiple times. Falco just wanted to show how hospitable he was.
"C'mon Krystal, don't be a Daisy!" replied Falco, hating that the vixen was acting like such a Debbie Downer. That was no way to act on Thanksgiving. "What Thanksgiving dinner would be complete without a guest or two?"
"I thought I was the guest," Anna said to Fox, now clueless as to what her role at the Thanksgiving dinner was. Fox just waved off the merchant.
"Phoenix and Trucy were lucky that I even reached out to them. They were wasting away on the streets...hoping, begging, pleading for someone to invite them over for Thanksgiving..."
"We were staying at a hotel in Spokane, we were doing just fine," Phoenix stated to Falco as he interrupted the avian pilot. "You gave me a call, and the rest was history."
"Shut up, I'm trying to tell a story here...point is, Phoenix and Trucy wanted to enjoy Thanksgiving, and so I took them in. Thanks to you guys." Falco looked towards Fox and Krystal, giving them all of his thanks.
"...I had nothing to do with this," stated Krystal, leaving her turkey sandwich on the dining room table as she went to her room. "Just let me know when dinner is ready, Fox..."
Mario was still in high spirits after seeing his parade float at the Thanksgiving parade. The plumber even took a picture of the parade float and was showing it around to his neighbors. He was at Marth's home, showing Marth his parade float.
"Isn't this the greatest parade-a float you've ever seen?!" Mario asked Marth in the kitchen, fully expecting the hero-king to answer yes. Marth just looked annoyed, like he wanted to punch Mario in the nose for bothering him.
"Looks the same as last year," Marth offered his two cents, as he barely even looked at the picture on Mario's phone. "I don't care about your parade float, Mario. Never have, never will."
"Lucina always said-a that you were a selfish one..." Now believing that Marth was an egregious hater, Mario moved on to Caeda who was cooking some collard greens and showed her the picture. "...what do you think-a of my parade float, Princess Caeda?"
"If you love that parade float so much, why don't you just marry it?" Caeda snapped on Mario, which was awfully uncharacteristic of her. Really showed you how much Mario was annoying her.
"I'm surrounded by haters..." Mario grumbled to himself as he left the kitchen, leaving Marth and Caeda alone. Better get used to it, Mario.
Marth: The audacity of Lucina to think of me as selfish! I would ground her, but she's not really my child, she's more of a descendant...not to mention that she's an adult...
"Marth, we're here!" someone announced from outside Marth's house, standing at the front door. With Marth and Caeda already busy in the kitchen, Mario answered the door himself...astonished to see Edelgard, Dimitri, and Claude standing by, along with everyone else from the Garreg Mach Monastery.
"Mario! It's so good to see you again," Claude greeted the plumber, with his fellow Golden Deer standing behind him. Along with the Black Eagles and the Blue Lions. It was truly a Three Houses affair. "You're not taking any cooking pointers from Marth, are you?"
"I would-a if I wasn't the superior cook," replied Mario in an almost bragging manner, as he could feel Marth rolling his eyes in response. "Marth knows that I'm-a the better cook."
"Those chocolate chip cookies you made last week would have something to say about that," remarked Marth, who had a small sample size of the cookies. Poor guy was tearing up trying to swallow it, it was that bad.
"I said better cook...not-a better baker. Get your facts straight, girly man. So, Claude, Dimitri, Edelgard...you and your friends wanna see a parade-a float?"
"A parade what now?" inquired Edelgard, before Mario showed the woman and the other two house leaders the picture of his parade float. "Oh, I see...that's nice, I guess."
"But is it the best-a thing that you've ever laid-a your eyes on? Say yes, and I'll let you in without-a any trouble." Marth and Caeda obviously weren't going to stand for that.
"Ahem...this is MY house, Mario," Marth said to the plumber, letting him know who ran the place around here. Mario backed off, not wishing to get on Marth's bad side. "You all are free to enter. Make yourselves at home."
"Aw yeah! Bring on the turkey!" exclaimed Raphael of the Golden Deer, as he and the others entered Marth's house and trampled over Mario in the process. Poor Mario was lying on the floor, flat like a pancake, as Blue Lions member Ashe came over to speak with him.
"Just for the record...you kinda did this to yourself," Ashe said to Mario, before giving the plumber a hand as he pried him off the floor. Mario literally came off the floor like sticky paper - showed you the kind of state he was in.
When Bowser approached Master Hand, he was looking very insecure - like he was undergoing some kind of existential crisis. The Koopa King was with Master Hand in the giant hand's room, telling him why he was feeling the way he was.
"I need you to lift my ban from going outside the mansion!" Bowser begged to Master Hand, literally on his knees with his hands clasped together. Master Hand looked on, unsure of whether he should be pitying Bowser or not.
"That restriction I placed on you must be driving you insane..." assumed Master Hand as he saw how pitiful Bowser was acting - and it brought him great joy. "...it's got you acting like a baby! I should've done this earlier!"
"This isn't funny, Master Hand! Because of that stupid ban, I'm technically considered a stupid idiot. That means I would have to add myself to my own list!"
"There's a first for everything, I suppose. And truth be told, I'm surprised you weren't on the list already!" Master Hand left Bowser stunned, making the Koopa King go from insecure to offended in a hurry.
"Impossible! I have done nothing that would warrant me being a stupid idiot. Everything I do is smart, thoughtful, and also..."
"So spending an entire day trying to expose a Mario imposter is smart and thoughtful?" Bowser had nothing to say about that, as he was left stumped.
"Okay, well, in my defense, I was one of the few people who didn't get the memo. But that was a set-up! Mario made me look stupid!"
"And because you want to kill Mario so bad, that's why you're still banned from going outside. Who knows if you want to kill someone else!"
"Master Hand, Enderman stole another turkey," Zelda poked her head inside the room and informed Master Hand, who groaned in response. "It's hiding up in a tree, and it refuses to come down."
"It's always the black skinny ones that cause the most trouble...I'll be there shortly, Princess Zelda. And don't look Enderman directly in the eyes!"
"I'm not Yoshi, Master Hand...I won't make that mistake. I'll be waiting." Zelda left the room, expecting Master Hand to show up outside in a minute or two.
"Give me some time, and I'll think over that ban. And remove you from consideration of being added to your...your list." Master Hand vanished away, leaving Bowser alone in the room. Bowser looked at the List of Bowser, shuddering at the thought of seeing his own name on there.
Bowser: This can't be happening! It shouldn't be happening! I'm not a stupid idiot, I'm a genius. A mastermind! No way am I gonna let that stinking Sora get the better of me! I own Thanksgiving - this day is mine! For now, the only thing I can do is absolve myself, and find someone who's a bigger stupid idiot than I am!
Sans: Silly Bowser...you can't own a holiday. *shows up, wearing a turkey costume* You should just forget about the List of Bowser - bring on some cold turkey.
Bowser: Sans, why are you wearing a turkey costume?
Sans: Because, Bowser...I'm not chicken. *laughs to himself*
Bowser:...that's it, you're going on the list.
Link really enjoyed Cilan's breakfast rolls, having enjoyed three of them. (Including a fourth additional one, when Cilan wasn't looking; three was the limit.) The Hylian was wandering through the mansion, looking for Cloud so he could ask for his opinion on the breakfast rolls.
When Link found Cloud, he saw the swordsman hanging out with Leon, the champion of Galar. Whose signature Pokemon was a Charizard, in case you weren't already aware. With Cloud and Leon was another man - a silver-haired dude sharply dressed from head to toe.
"Gotta say, these turkey legs are delicious!" exclaimed Leon as he, Cloud, and the sharply-dressed man were eating turkey legs. Cloud asked Cilan for permission, in case you might be wondering. "Cilan is always outdoing himself."
"I guess that's expected when you're the best chef around here," replied Cloud as Link made his way over to Cloud and the boys, wanting in on the conversation at hand. "Though Dunban isn't that far behind."
"Hey Cloud, hey Leon," Link greeted the swordsman and champion - the former nodding his head while the latter smiled - before turning his attention to the sharply-dressed man. "Hey...Steven Stone?"
"That would be I," smiled the sharply-dressed man, Steven Stone, as he was delighted by Link's presence. Meeting Link in person was something he could cross off his bucket list. "And you must be Link! What a nice tunic you got there."
"Wow! So you don't think it makes me look goofy or anything?" Steven would shake his head no in response to Link's question, which only made Link even happier. "Much appreciated, man. Sure got an eye for fashion."
"Let's not get ahead of ourselves..." Cloud said to Link, acting as if the Hylian having confidence wasn't permitted. Leon took out his Rotom phone, taking a glance at it. "...you gotta go, Leon?"
"Afraid so...my little bro needs me," replied Leon, before putting his phone away and waving his cape in true Leon style. Always made the ladies of Galar faint to the floor. "Hop has got a nose for trouble!"
"I should be going as well," Steven said to Cloud, unfortunately having to leave soon. He and Link were just starting to vibe. "Wallace should still be hanging out with Yusuke. It was nice meeting you, Link!"
"Likewise," replied Link as he waved to Steven, who walked away with his handsome self. Steven Stone sure carried himself like a champion. "Of all the Pokemon trainers, I never would've Master Hand to invite Steven Stone!"
"I was the one who invited him, actually," Cloud said to Link, who was caught by surprise from Cloud's revelation. "Master Hand left me in charge of the guest list this Thanksgiving."
Cloud: I kid you not, Master Hand came up to me one day and asked me to do the guestlist for Thanksgiving. Used the pandemic as an excuse. I'm gonna try and keep things modest this year if it means keeping the dining room less concentrated than usual. Maybe this year, people will have more breathing room around the table...
"That's weird, I'd imagine that Zelda would be the one doing that task..." said Link as he scratched his chin. Should be noted that Master Hand never gave Mario the responsibility of handling the Thanksgiving dinner guest list. "...guess Master Hand really likes you!"
"Apparently," responded Cloud, who found Master Hand's newfound obsession with him to be quite hard to adjust to. "Hopefully with a smaller crowd, there won't be any food fights during the feast."
"Believe me, there's going to be a food fight," assured Mewtwo as he hovered over to Cloud and Link, giving the two swordsmen a heads up. "And that's not a prediction...it's a guarantee."
"How nice of you to look ahead into the future..." Link said sarcastically to Mewtwo, not in the mood for the psychic Pokemon's forecasting. "...might as well see when Zelda and I get married with that future sight of yours."
"I didn't even have to look into the future for that one. I'm just stating the inevitable." Mewtwo was so used to food fights during Thanksgiving, he always teleported away when the first blood was drawn.
"Okay then, Mewtwo, what do you think we should do to prevent another food fight?" Cloud asked the psychic Pokemon, interested in what he had to say. "Keep on using that big brain of yours."
"I'd keep the folks at the tower away from the mansion if I were you. With Crazy Hand and Waluigi around, who knows what tricks they might pull..."
It was the first Thanksgiving at the Assist Tower with Waluigi as the de facto man of the mansion. Desiring to put his stamp on things, Waluigi took it upon himself to have the Thanksgiving meal prepared ahead of time. For the most part, it saved Chef Kawasaki a ton of work; the tower denizens couldn't feel any more grateful for Waluigi's decision.
Waluigi: All the food for our Thanksgiving meal was pre-made and brought from the grocery store. Including the turkey. We can't take any chances with Chef Kawasaki, no matter how improved his cooking might be.
"Wow, Waluigi, you've really OUTDONE yourself!" Crazy Hand said to the lanky man, who was preparing the table in the tower's dining room. The plates were set, the eating utensils were set, the napkins were set, and all the food was on display.
"Presentation is always key," Waluigi stated to Crazy Hand while flashing the "OK" hand signal. The lanky man wanted the table looking nice if he wanted to leave a lasting impression on the tower denizens. "Gotta make everything look appealing."
"I LOVE the way you think, Waluigi! Maybe one day, I might REMOVE the de facto part away from your title!" Waluigi felt invigorated by Master Hand's words, as he was filled up with confidence. Couldn't help but smile.
"Hello Waluigi, don't mean to disturb you," Tiki said to the lanky man as she came inside the dining room. The Manakate was looking worried. "I'm afraid there's an issue going on..."
"What is this issue that you speak of?" Waluigi asked Tiki, and before Tiki could answer, Waluigi gasped when he figured out what the answer might be. "I know what the problem is - you're having a tough time realizing how much you love Cortex!"
"YOU love that ugly man?!" Crazy Hand questioned Tiki, quickly under the assumption that the Manakete was either blind or high on drugs. Or both. "Why do women these days have such LOW standards?!"
"It has nothing to do with Cortex," stated Tiki, with Waluigi snapping his fingers in disgust while Crazy Hand let out a huge sigh of relief. "It has more to do with the turkey in the oven."
"Ah, yes, our already cooked turkey! Those grocery store workers worked long and hard making it excellent enough for our meal. Is it still preheating?"
"Yes, it's still preheating...and it's also burning up." The last part of Tiki's sentence made Waluigi panicky, for he knew that a ruined turkey equated to a ruined Thanksgiving meal.
"The turkey's burning up in the oven?! Waaaaaah, why did it have to be this year! Why?!"
Tiki brought Waluigi and Crazy Hand to the kitchen, to show them that she wasn't pulling their tail. Waluigi watched in horror as Chef Kawasaki carefully removed the turkey from the oven, which was slightly ablaze.
"All that hard work those grocery workers did...all gone up literally in flames," whined Waluigi as he dropped down to his knees, full of despair. Not even Tiki patting him on the shoulder could uplift his spirits.
"Verry sorry about what happened with the turkey, Waluigi," Chef Kawasaki said to the lanky man, who was too overridden with despair to even respond. "Sometimes you just hate to see it..."
"How did the turkey catch ON FIRE?" wondered Crazy Hand as Chef Kawasaki put out the small fires on the turkey, to the best of his ability. Apparently, Kawasaki was getting the job done by using paper towels. Paper towels. Chef Kawasaki was truly an enigma. "Wasn't it on 250?"
"It was at 250...but then I turned the oven up to the highest setting possible." Chef Kawasaki's confession made Waluigi angry in a snap, as the lanky man angrily stood up on his feet. "Since we had a high-quality turkey."
"YOU RUINED MY THANKSGIVING DINNER!" Waluigi yelled at Chef Kawasaki as he choked out the chef. He wasn't sure if he had his hands around Kawasaki's neck (or if Kawasaki had a neck at all), but he let his wrath be known.
"Waluigi, stop that!" Tiki scolded the lanky man as she tried to pry him off of the helpless Chef Kawasaki. But Waluigi refused to let go. "Let him go!"
"No way! This man is trying to bring Luigi's misfortune to me, and I'm not gonna stand for that! He needs to pay!"
"Yes, Waluigi, keeping choking him!" Crazy Hand encouraged the lanky man, greatly delighted by the violence taking place in front of him. Crazy Hand was always a sucker for fights, no matter what it was. "NO MERCY!"
Luigi had yet to return from his shopping trip, which meant that the Flying Man was still watching over the plumber's turkey...or so he was. Thanks to some "convincing" from Yuffie, the Flying Man ran off to who-knows-where, vowing to save turkeys from being roasted for Thanksgiving. Or something like that. With the Flying Man gone, Daisy and Yuffie were busy working some magic in the kitchen.
"Need some more garlic powder," Daisy said to Yuffie, who handed the princess a canister of garlic powder. Daisy shook the canister over the turkey sitting on the stove, as garlic rained all over the turkey. "Now, the black pepper."
"You think Luigi's gonna notice the difference when he gets back home?" Yuffie asked Daisy as she handed the princess some black pepper. Daisy shook the pepper over the turkey, making sure she got every inch.
"He's not that observant, so...it would be nice if he did!" Done with the pepper, Daisy took the turkey and placed it back in the oven. "There! Should be ready in time for dinner to start."
Daisy: Luigi thought that if he didn't season the turkey, it would lower the chances of it catching on fire. Maybe if he stopped PUTTING IT ON FIVE HUNDRED DEGREES! *sighs angrily* Every year, Luigi never learns his lesson...
After she placed the turkey back in the oven - and setting the oven on 350 degrees, which was the recommended temperature - Daisy heard her phone ring. The princess pulled out her phone and groaned when she saw Bowser on the caller ID.
"What is it?" Daisy asked Bowser after she answered the call, sounding pretty annoyed already. She could've just let the phone ring, but she decided to play nice with Bowser...for now.
"Hey Daisy, happy Thanksgiving!" Bowser greeted the princess, who rolled her eyes in response. "Got a quick question I wanted to ask ya. Did Luigi burn his turkey again? Please say yes..."
"No, I took care of it. No burnt turkey this year!" Thanks to Daisy, the yearly tradition of Luigi's turkey catching on fire finally came to an end. But that didn't sit well with Bowser.
"Dang it! Had the turkey caught on fire the fifth year in a row, that would've made Luigi a bigger stupid idiot than I am. Why did you save the turkey, Daisy?"
"Because I don't want my house to catch on fire...?" Daisy gave her answer as she eyed around the kitchen, wondering why Bowser was so upset.
"GRRRAAAAHHH! Now I'm still the biggest stupid idiot in existence. I'm gonna add you to the list, Daisy, out of spite! And for being a stupid idiot!"
"You were already the biggest stupid idiot beforehand just for coming up with the...aaaaand he hung up the phone. Good freaking riddance..."
Bowser ended his call with Daisy, as he added the princess' name to the List of Bowser. The Koopa King did this in the living room, where Sonic and Silver were watching a football game with several others.
"Wow, the Redskins' uniforms sure look different this year," remarked Silver as he saw numbers imprinted on the Washington Football Team's helmets. Little did he know that the Redskins were no longer the Redskins...
"They're not the Washington Redskins anymore...they're the Washington Football Team now," Sonic stated to Silver, still feeling pretty bummed out over Crash giving him the cold shoulder. Silver groaned in response.
"Why does everyone keep calling them the Washington Football Team?! We already know they're a football team based in Washington! Who in their right mind calls them 'Washington Football Team'?"
"'Football Team' is their team name, Silver," stated Rayman, one of the guests invited by Cloud, as he was watching the football game with Sonic and Silver. Silver slowly came around to realize this, as he furrowed his brow.
"Seriously, Silver? You've been watching this game, not knowing about Washington's new team name?" Bowser asked the silver hedgehog, as he had his black ink pen ready to go. "You just made the list!"
"Added to the list for being out of the loop...guess that means my life is over," Silver responded sarcastically as Bowser wrote down his name on the list. "Don't think I can ever recover from..."
"No! It's still not enough. Silver isn't a bigger stupid idiot than I am, not by a longshot. There's gotta be someone more worthy than I am!" Growing more disgruntled by the minute, Bowser quickly left the living room as Sonic, Silver, and Rayman exchanged astonished glances.
"Did Bowser refer to himself as a stupid idiot just now?" Sonic asked Silver, his ears unable to comprehend what they just heard. "Heh, took him long enough..."
It took her a while, but Zelda was able to acquire the stolen turkey from Enderman, who was hiding up in a tree. The princess didn't get the job done alone, as she had two proper gents lend her a hand - Leon and his little brother, Hop. The two brothers were with Zelda when she returned the turkey to Cilan in the kitchen.
"Oh, there you are, sweet precious..." Cilan said to the turkey after Zelda handed the roasted fowl to him; the connoisseur was cradling the turkey like it was a newborn baby. "...thought you could get away, didn't you?"
"This is so weird..." Hop whispered to Zelda, who was watching Cilan cradling the turkey with a forced smile. "...it's making me uncomfortable."
"This is what happens when a turkey goes missing every Thanksgiving," Zelda said to Leon and Hop as Cilan placed the turkey among the other turkeys in the kitchen when he was done cradling it. "He treats every turkey like a child."
"Uh, sorry you guys had to see that...didn't know you were still standing around. Cooking on Thanksgiving has strangely made me feel sentimental."
"We can tell," said Leon, keeping whatever thoughts he had about Cilan's mannerisms to himself as he turned his attention to Hop. "So, Hop...you and me, playing some table tennis. What do you say?"
"Just dying to get creamed by your little brother, huh?" grinned Hop as he taunted Leon; competing against his big brother always got him in a competitive state of mind. "You're on, Lee!"
"Thanks again, you two!" Zelda said to Leon and Hop, as the two brothers raced out of the kitchen to the table tennis room. Last one there was a rotten egg. "Cilan, how much longer until the feast begins?" Zelda asked the connoisseur.
"Still working on the potato casserole, and some of the desserts," replied Cilan, working hard in the kitchen as he was adding some finishing touches to the aforementioned potato casserole. "Once I'm done with that, the feast will...commence?"
Cilan trailed off when he and Zelda saw Yoshi, standing at the kitchen entrance...still wearing his mask over his nostrils. Might as well stop wearing the mask if he couldn't get it all over his face.
"Zoom Thanksgiving, Zoom Thanksgiving, Zoom Thanksgiving..." chanted Yoshi, hoping to reel in both Cilan and Zelda over to his side. Didn't seem to work, as Cilan and Zelda were giving the green dinosaur dubious stares.
"It's a little too late for that, I'm afraid," Cilan sheepishly smiled as he scratched the back of his head. "Unless you plan on doing that with your fellow Knitting Club buddies..."
"No...I'm talking about everyone in the mansion." Zoom Thanksgiving with over a hundred people was unfathomable for many...but justifiable for Yoshi. "Imagine it - everyone sitting in the comfort of their own abode, eating food on camera. Engaging with others, without bumping elbows with anyone. Sounds like an absolute dream!"
"Do you think the others would go through with that?" Zelda asked Yoshi, believing that Yoshi's Zoom Thanksgiving scenario would be met with some pushback from the residents.
"They will eventually when they realize how great it is! Can you imagine having Thanksgiving dinner without actually touching anyone?! Oh boy!"
Ashley: Yoshi, at his worst, is one of those doomsday fetishists who want to have some kind of big apocalypse that wrecks society, and everyone has to live differently forever. He wants there to be a worst-case scenario so bad...
"You keep on doing your thing, Cilan," Zelda said to the connoisseur as she took Yoshi, and walked the green dinosaur out of the kitchen. "I'm going to have a little conversation with Yoshi here..."
Thanksgiving dinner had already started at Marth's home, where Marth treated his guests - the house lords and students from the Garreg Mach Monastery - to some turkey. And other things. Out of all the students, Lorenz was the most floored.
"My goodness...this ham is simply delectable!" the nobleman squealed, brimming with excitement as he took a bite out of his ham. "The flavor is pure, its sweetness so succulent...it brings a melody to my taste buds."
"I hope you realize that no normal person speaks like that," Dorothea of the Black Eagles said to Lorenz, who responded with a glare. It was no secret that Dorothea couldn't stand certain nobles.
"Marth, I hate to break it to ya, but your turkey isn't that good," Raphael said to the hero-king, who was standing at the front of the dining room surveying everyone. Caeda at least kept her distance. "Doesn't have the pizzazz that I'm looking for!"
"To be fair, I ran out of pepper and onion powder," stated Marth, who hoped that all the other food was at least tolerable. "Had I realized I was running low, I would've made a trip to the store and..."
"Yeah, yeah, those excuses aren't gonna work on me!" Raphael got up from his seat and took his plate, raking his food in the nearby trash can. "I'm gonna go see if Fox has a turkey. It better be good!"
"You can't just go to someone else's house and ask for their turkey, Raphael," Ignatz said to his friend, wanting to stop him but not having the willpower to put him in his place. "Not unless they invited you over!"
"In that case, I'll just have to invite myself! I won't be much of a hassle." With his mind made up, Raphael left Marth's house. Ignatz let out a sigh.
"There he goes, sticking his nose in trouble..." remarked Dimitri, as Ignatz was starting to feel bad for letting Raphael get away. "...someone ought to bring Raphael back."
"I know someone who can reel Raphael back in," said Dimitri's second-in-command, Dedue, as he quickly glanced at fellow Blue Lion Ingrid. Ingrid, who was busy wiping off her mouth with a napkin, saw Dimitri and Dedue staring at her.
"Is there something on my face?" Ingrid asked Dimitri and Dedue, confused as to why the attention was on her. The noblewoman's face soured when she realized what she had to do.
Ingrid was now standing at the front door to Fox's house, looking bothered with her arms folded. The noblewoman had just rung the doorbell and was waiting for Fox or anyone else to answer.
"What's taking them so long...my hen's getting cold!" frowned Ingrid as she tapped her foot impatiently. Finally, someone answered the door, and that person was Phoenix Wright.
"Well now...not the face I expected to see," remarked Phoenix, who had to play it cool as he saw how irritated Ingrid looked. "Fox, Krystal, there's a chick from Fodlan standing at the door!"
"Really, Fox? Another person from the monastery?" Fox said to the avian pilot; Ingrid would look past Phoenix, and saw Raphael eating a turkey leg at the dining room table with Fox and the others. "Do you have any chill?"
"Bruh, for the last time, I didn't invite Raphael!" Falco defended himself to Fox, who had a hard time believing the avian pilot. "He forced his way in here! Stop making me look like the bad guy!"
"That turkey leg really hit the spot!" exclaimed Raphael as he had finished off his turkey leg; he spotted Ingrid standing at the front door afterward. "Ingrid! Do you want some of this turkey? It's so good!"
"She won't be having any turkey, I'm afraid," stated Krystal as she took the turkey and put it away in the kitchen. "We'll be saving the rest as leftovers."
Krystal: The turkey was perfect for only four people, no more than that. If Falco wants to invite guests over for Thanksgiving so bad, then he'll just have to do it at his own place. I'll give it another five years before that actually happens.
"That's fine, I was done here anyway," stated Raphael as he left the dining room, feeling satisfied. But he wasn't fully satisfied just yet. "Now it's time to see how good Pac-Man's turkey is!"
"I think one sampling of turkey is enough for you..." Ingrid said to Raphael, having to keep the commoner at bay - a task that was hard to do when Raphael had an uncontrollable appetite.
"Yeah, but Marth's turkey really got me in a sour mood. I need to give everyone else's turkey a try if I wanna be happy again!" Raphael would leave Fox's house, leaving as a man on a mission.
"Raphael, you can't do this!" Ingrid chased after Raphael, as Phoenix slowly closed the front door. "Have some self-control!"
Mario already started his Thanksgiving dinner at his home, and he had a few guests over - namely Pit, Kirby, Incineroar, and Viridi. Pit made some shocking discoveries today that he felt obligated to tell...
"As it turns out, Hispanic people celebrate Thanksgiving too!" Pit said to those sitting around the table, acting as if he discovered a new element on the periodic table or something. "Always thought they did Chinese takeout instead."
"Silly Pit, every race celebrates Thanksgiving," Peach said to the angel, who was astonished to learn this. His mind was completely blown. "No one is exempt!"
"So Samoans celebrate Thanksgiving too? They do more than just professional wrestling and tribal dances? Good to know..."
"Mario, I think I see the Flying Man at the window," Kirby said to the plumber, bringing his attention to the Flying Man lurking outside. Mario got up and went over to the window, opening it.
"You want some-a turkey, you go in through the front-a door!" Mario said to the Flying Man, who was looking pretty down in the dumps. Which was a rarity, since the Flying Man was always upbeat and positive. "Why the long-a face?"
"I failed...I have failed my own kind," replied the Flying Man, who looked too ashamed to even go back to the mansion. "...millions of turkeys have died, and there was nothing I could've done to stop it!"
"They were long dead-a before Thanksgiving..." Mario eyed around, unnerved by how the Flying Man was feeling. The visible anguish from the mythical beast was quite off-putting.
"They were?! My goodness, I was too late! When I went to all those farms and saw not one turkey, I knew then that the damage was already done..."
"I doubt you actually been-a to any farms. Also, why do you care-a so much? They're just turkeys, man."
"Not just turkeys...they're brethren! My bird brethren! Yuffie told me this when I was watching over Luigi's turkey..."
...Luigi's turkey! The Flying Man was so focused on saving turkeys, that he forgot about the turkey in the oven! The mythical beast gasped when he remembered the turkey, with his hands on his face.
"Oh no...Luigi's turkey!" the Flying Man exclaimed, knowing that there was a job he had to do. "Flying Man, away!" The mythical beast ran away - or at least next door to Luigi's house - to finish his job.
"...is he still trying to save-a turkeys?" wondered Mario after the Flying Man had left. Saving that question for another day, Mario shrugged and closed the window. The Flying Man ran to Luigi's house, hoping that the turkey was safe...
...but when he arrived, busting down the front door, he saw Luigi, Daisy, Charles, and Deanna sitting around the table, enjoying their Thanksgiving meal. The Flying Man was relieved to see that the turkey was safe - although Daisy and Yuffie were to thank for that.
"Is it just me or does-a the turkey taste...seasoned?" Luigi asked Daisy, as he stared at the piece of turkey on his fork. Daisy was hiding a smile, trying not to give away her secret. "I promised-a myself not to season the turkey..."
"Maybe putting the turkey on 500 degrees finally worked this year," replied Daisy, as Luigi looked at his wife with a baffled look...before laughing heartily. Daisy was still smiling as she took a sip from her glass of apple cider.
Daisy: Luigi literally has no clue that Yuffie and I seasoned the turkey while he and the Flying Man were gone. I'll keep it a secret from him, just for now. *smiles*
Luigi: Every store in town-a was closed for Thanksgiving, so I had to get my cran-a berry sauce from a sketchy thrift-a store. Now I'm stuck filling out-a paper surveys, like these. *holds up paper survey* Perhaps one day they'll give-a me a gift card, for real.
"I feel like this dinner is missing some-a thing," said Luigi, eyeing the candle sitting in the middle of the table as he took out a lighter. "We should light a candle, to commemorate a superb-a Thanksgiving dinner!"
"It's a little too early for that, sweetie," Daisy said to Luigi, who went ahead and decided to light the candle. The plumber turned on his lighter and reached for the candle...
...but somehow missed, as the lighter slipped out of his hand and landed on the turkey. The turkey caught on fire, as Luigi and the Flying Man both shrieked simultaneously. At least the turkey didn't catch on fire in the oven this time.
"THE TURKEY'S ON-A FIRE!" shouted Luigi, saying this for the fifth consecutive Thanksgiving. Deanna was crying, while Charles was smiling and clapping his hands at the fire; that toddler's gonna be so messed up.
"Why couldn't you just wait until it got dark?!" Daisy scolded Luigi as she scooped up Charles and Deanna, taking them away from the table. Yuffie came out to see the fire, which the Flying Man was now trying to put out.
"Woah! Is that smoke I smell?" inquired Raphael as he came inside Luigi's house, having already paid Pac-Man and Olimar a visit. By the time he arrived, the Flying Man had already put out the fire on the turkey.
"Phew...close-a call," sighed Luigi, relieved as he wiped away the sweat off his forehead. He looked at the Flying Man, grateful for his assistance. "Glad to have-a you around, Flying Man."
"You know how the saying goes, Luigi...I am your courage!" the Flying Man said to the plumber, giving him a salute. Soon Raphael approached Luigi, peering at the burnt turkey that was lying on the floor.
"If you don't want that turkey anymore...I can take it off your hands," the commoner said to Luigi, as Ingrid poked her head through the open front door spying on Raphael. Would Luigi give up the turkey?
"It's already ruined, so you can have-a it," replied Luigi as he gave Raphael the burnt turkey. Raphael giddily accepted the turkey as Ingrid frowned, pinching the crown of her nose.
"Thanks, Luigi! You've always been a real bro." Burnt turkey in hand, Raphael left Luigi's house, seeing Ingrid on his way out. "Hey, Ingrid! I'm sure you'll at least get some of this turkey."
"I don't care for any turkey, Raphael..." Ingrid said to the commoner as she followed him outside. Daisy returned to the dining room after she put Charles and Deanna away.
"Turkey caught on fire yet again..." the princess sighed, her husband's sheepish laughing not enough to quell whatever resentment she had. "...guess some things never change."
Bowser was still going all around the mansion, looking for anyone that was a bigger stupid idiot than him. His search led him to a room, where he saw Zelda and Researcher Zelda having a word with Yoshi.
"It was terrible - I was outside that morning, getting the mail," Yoshi explained to the two Zeldas, still wearing his mask improperly. The silver lining was that he could still breathe pretty well. "Then a jogger ran past me!"
"How bad was it?" asked Researcher Zelda, fearing that Yoshi was making this instance a lot bigger than it was meant to be. Bowser was listening closely to the conversation, as he held his list.
"It was terrible! The very moment it happened, I ran back inside the mansion and cried myself to sleep. It was a harrowing experience."
"Okay...and how close was the jogger to you?" asked Zelda, under the heavy assumption that Yoshi was exaggerating his story.
"Eh, he was like six or seven yards away from me. Granted, he could've turned his direction and made a beeline towards me." Yoshi adjusted his mask, pulling it up ever so slightly.
"HOLD IT, HOLD IT RIGHT THERE!" shouted Bowser, having seen the evidence as he stormed inside the room with his list. "Yoshi, why are you wearing your mask improperly like that?"
"I just couldn't find one that was the right size for me. It's my fault for being born with such a big head."
"That's beside the point How in the heck can you protect yourself and others from the virus when you're wearing your mask like that?"
"So that's why I see people in public wearing masks...it all makes sense now!" Yoshi looked up at the sky in total realization, as Bowser's mouth was left agape. The two Zeldas were equally shocked.
"Wh-Why were you even wearing that mask in the first place?" Yoshi better have a good reason, being that he likely wasted the Zeldas' time.
"Some person online said that they wear masks to not only hide their face in public and also hide their lack of self-esteem. Said that wearing masks gives them the confidence they need to mingle with other people! That's why I wore this mask, to see for myself."
Yoshi: The person online seemed legit; they wouldn't stop bragging about how they haven't left their house since March. Kept bragging about it, like it was a badge they wear on their sleeve. They seemed pretty trustworthy in my eyes.
"Yeah, Yoshi, good for you, screw self-improvement!" Bowser sarcastically clapped for the green dinosaur. Poor Yoshi didn't even know how sarcastic the clapping was. "You wanna know what happens now?"
"I get a mask that's the right fit for me?" asked Yoshi, expecting Bowser to hand him a gift or something. The click of Bowser's ink pen suggested that wouldn't be the case. "Oh no..."
"You are now the biggest stupid idiot in existence! Which means...YOU JUST MADE THE LIST!" Bowser wrote down Yoshi's name on the list, before letting out a sigh of relief once the deed was done. "Ah, that felt good..."
"There you are, Princess Zelda!" exclaimed Isabelle as she stopped by the room, spotting the princess. "Just wanted to let you know, the Thanksgiving dinner has already started."
"Okay then, thanks for letting me know," replied Zelda, as Isabelle nodded her head and left. Yoshi took off his mask, as the mask was getting too constricting on him. "Hopefully you'll start wearing that mask for its intended purpose, Yoshi..."
"In your face, Sora..." Bowser sighed in relief, allowing the relief to wash over his shoulders. Yoshi and the two Zeldas gave Bowser weird looks, as they quietly left the room.
The residents and guests were in the dining room, enjoying the Thanksgiving dinner. Link was chatting with Steven Stone, Crash was still giving Sonic the cold shoulder, and the residents treated themselves with some dinner rolls. Or panecillos, as Sombra called them.
"Not that many guests this year," Zelda said to Cloud, as the two were surveying the dining room. It was a lot less crowded, which what Cloud was gunning for when he formulated the guest list.
"I'd say that the pandemic was a good excuse," Cloud quipped with his deadpan look, as Zelda giggled. Soon Waluigi came inside the dining room, looking bitter and salty. "Your Thanksgiving dinner is over, Waluigi?"
"We finished our dinner...without any turkey!" replied Waluigi, as Cloud and Zelda looked at the lanky man shocked. Having Thanksgiving dinner without any turkey to go with it was no easy task.
"I'm very sorry to hear that, Waluigi. What happened with the turkey?" Cloud imagined that Waluigi being in charge of dinner would have driven away the tower denizens.
"It was ruined by Chef Kawasaki. Thought I could trust that guy, but no more! Now if you excuse me, I have some steam to let off..."
Waluigi marched to the dining room table, his eyes locking in on a plate of dinner rolls. Sombra, who was sitting at the end of the table with Reaper, saw Waluigi reach for the plate with the corner of her eye.
"Go ahead and help yourself," Sombra said to Waluigi, who grabbed the plate of dinner rolls off the table. "I brought enough dinner rolls to go around."
"You best believe I'm gonna help myself..." replied Waluigi as he grabbed a dinner roll. The lanky man looked around the dining room, seeing all the people gathered around the table...
...before throwing a dinner roll at Steven Stone. Steven felt the dinner roll bounce off his chest, as it landed on his lap.
"Who on earth threw this?" questioned Steven as he arose from his seat, looking around the dining room with the dinner roll in hand. He soon saw Waluigi, who was armed with the plate of dinner rolls. "Was it you, good sir? Trying to send a message?"
"Message sent..." replied Waluigi, before whistling with his fingers...as Samurai Goroh, Skull Kid, Bomberman, and a few other tower denizens entered the dining room. They showed up behind Waluigi, with Zelda and Cloud moving out of the way.
Waluigi: I asked those bummed out about the turkey if they wanted to start another food fight in the mansion, and they were happy to oblige! I didn't expect most of them to answer yes. I guess it's easier to reel people in when you have disdain for the same enemy. That enemy being Chef Kawasaki.
"FOOD FIGHT!" shouted Waluigi, as he and the tower denizens started the food fight in the dining room. As always, chaos ensued - Steve pied Ganondorf in the face with some pumpkin pie, Skull Kid was beating Alph's head in with a turkey leg, and Rayman splashed hot gravy all over Leon's cape. Enderman even stole a few turkeys and left the dining room, with everyone distracted.
"No, Enderman, get back here!" Zelda shouted at the black mob as it escaped with the turkeys. With the dining room left in disarray, Cloud looked over and saw Mewtwo shaking his head at him.
"I tried to warn you, Cloud..." Mewtwo said to the swordsman, teleporting away - and in the nick of time, too, as someone had thrown a pie in his direction.
"Yes...this is more like it!" exclaimed Reaper, getting himself in the groove as he took out his pistols. Sombra, who was throwing dinner rolls at unsuspecting people, cleared her throat at Reaper wanting him to put his guns away.
"Fight like a normal person, will ya?" the hacker said to Reaper, before tossing a dinner roll at Corrin. Reaper groaned as he put his pistols away...before a pie was thrown at his face.
"Alright, who's the wise guy that did that?! You're dead meat, you hear me?! DEAD MEAT!" Grabbing a plate of ham off the table, Reaper rushed into action as the food fight ensued.
Raphael sat outside the mansion on the porch, finishing off Luigi's burnt turkey. Ingrid, who was sitting with Raphael and monitoring the commoner, was looking on in disbelief.
"Mm, mm, mm...that really hit the spot!" smiled Raphael as he ate the last bit of the turkey. Ingrid was just staring at Raphael as if he wasn't even human. "Should've shared some with you, Ingrid - it was even better than Marth's turkey!"
"But how? It was black all over!" replied Ingrid, as Enderman came out of the mansion. The black mob tripped and fell down the porch steps, dropping the turkeys on the ground in the process.
"Oh man, turkeys from the mansion?! Come to papa!" Raphael got down on the ground and ate away at the turkeys, not caring that they were sitting on the grass and dirt. Ingrid looked disgusted.
"I know you're a commoner, but Raphael...have some standards, for crying out loud." It was impossible for Raphael to have standards when his appetite was at a high. And it seemed like his appetite was being satisfied...
"Yeah, this is the good stuff...best turkey I've had all day. C'mon Ingrid, help yourself!" At first, Ingrid was against eating any of the turkeys...but eventually the noblewoman came around.
"I suppose one nibble won't hurt..." Reluctantly, Ingrid tore a turkey leg off of one of the turkeys and ate it...and was left pretty impressed. "...mm, this turkey isn't so bad after all!"
"Ingrid! Where are you, Ingrid?" Dimitri called out to the noblewoman as he and Claude were looking outside. "Did you find...Raphael?" Dimitri and Claude soon saw Ingrid and Raphael, eating the turkey off the ground with Enderman watching over them.
"Some noble she's supposed to be..." Claude muttered to Dimitri, showing some shade at Ingrid as he returned to Marth's home. Dimitri looked at Ingrid eat the turkeys with a pained facial expression, before heading back himself.
Raphael and Ingrid should be pretty fortunate - not that many people can enjoy an excellent turkey on Thanksgiving. Better than having a turkey scorched from a fire, that's for sure.
