Author's Note:
This is another Link Patrol Unit chapter...and it's a Christmas-themed one! On Christmas Eve (and also the fifth year anniversary of this story)! Ideally, I wanted this done sometime before Christmas Eve, but Christmas stuff kept getting in the way. I'm sure you understand. A few guest characters who have appeared throughout the year will appear in this chapter, just to spruce the chapter up a bit. Enjoy! Oh, and Merry Christmas!
Episode 262: Meaning
Toon Link: In the criminal justice system, offenses outside of Smash battles are considered especially heinous. In Seattle, at the Smash Mansion, the dedicated police officers who investigate these vicious felonies are members of an elite squad known as the LPU, the Link Patrol Unit. These are their stories.
Young Link: DUN DUUUUN!
It was the day of Christmas Eve, which meant that the holiday known as Christmas was fastly approaching. Whenever there was a holiday at the mansion, Master Hand was always quick to invite everyone he possibly could to his establishment. For Thanksgiving this year, Master Hand let Cloud handle the guestlist for the Thanksgiving dinner...
...which didn't turn out the way he had hoped. While the dinner itself was fine, Master Hand couldn't help but feel that something was missing in the dining room. He even felt that the food fight during the Thanksgiving meal wasn't up to par, either. So the giant hand decided to take matters into his own hands...erm, hand, and make his own guest list for Christmas this year. Without Cloud's involvement.
The guests on the guestlist were aplenty - the Black Eagles, Blue Lions, and Golden Deer were some of the headliners. Dudes such as Steven Stone, Professor Kukui, and Vincent Valentine were also thrown into the mix. And as a request of Falco, the Doom Slayer was also invited over to the mansion for the holiday festivities.
Master Hand: It's Christmas, and whenever Christmas is around the corner, sometimes you just have to go all out. Which is exactly what I did. My goal is to keep the folks I invited around until New Year's Day, so I had Steve and Alex craft some hotels for our guests to stay in. Made them provide all the works. It wasn't much, but it was honest work...which I will proudly take credit for.
Claude: I must say, Steve and Alex really knocked it out of the park with those hotels! Water was running just fine, and we had all the essentials that we needed! Just wish everything except the food wasn't so blocky. Imagine trying to sit on a blocky sofa.
Sombra: Master Hand invited us to the Christmas party this year, and the New Year's Eve party as well. We're pretty much being held hostage until January...meaning that Master Hand got the hostage situation he's always wanted!
Reaper: *facepalming* Sombra, can you please explain to me why Master Hand invited us to the mansion?
Sombra: Silly Reaper, it wasn't Master Hand's doing...it was Samus'. She kinda did a favor for me. *smiles*
Reaper: *seething* I hate you so much, Sombra...
With there being so many people in and out of the mansion, the buddy cops were on high alert. Granted, they were already on high alert during the holidays, but this year they had more of a reason. More people meant more arrests to be made.
"Do you see the target, Hutch?" Toon Link asked Young Link, as the two buddy cops were peeking around the corner of the hallway. In the far distance was Sylvain, who was conspicuously waiting outside a bathroom.
"I see him, in plain sight..." confirmed Young Link as he was looking out through his binoculars. Sylvain was whistling a tune to himself before Professor Sonia exited from the bathroom, as Sylvain smiled.
"Ah, Professor Sonia!" Sylvain greeted the professor, who was caught off-guard by the nobleman's presence. "You must not know who I am, do you? Allow me to introduce myself..."
"Wait a minute, I think I recognize your face..." said Sonia as she got a good look at Sylvain, who was hoping that the professor got his name right. "...you must be Sylvain, from the Black Eagles! Think I saw you last year."
"Actually, I'm from the Blue Lions, but close enough. Anyway, I was thinking that maybe I could spruce up your holidays just a little."
"And how do you plan on doing that...oh!" Sonia looked up, startled to see Sylvain holding a mistletoe above his and Sonia's heads. Smooth, real smooth.
"Why not a kiss to take all your cares away? C'mon now, don't be shy!" Sylvain was ready to kiss Sonia, getting his lips puckered up, until...
"No, no, NO! You are doing it all wrong!" Lorenz of the Golden Deer frowned at Sylvain as he came marching down the hallway angrily. The nobleman slapped the mistletoe out of Sylvain's hand. "That is no way to woo a woman!"
"Sure means a lot, coming from a guy who has never even found a girlfriend yet..." With Lorenz also being a casanova, Sylvain always found himself butting heads with the nobleman when it came to women.
"All I'm saying is, your method of choice is futile. Using a mistletoe to kiss a lady is not a sufficient way of winning her heart."
"Excuse me, you two, but I have to go, like right now..." Sonia said to Sylvain and Lorenz, as she had some other matters to attend to. "...Leon and Hop are waiting for me in the gaming room!"
"If you ever wish to win over a fine lady, and prove your worth to her, you must give her a gift." Lorenz dug into his pockets, fumbling around for a gift he would use as an example. "Give me a moment, if you will..."
"NOW, HUTCH!" shouted Toon Link as he and Young Link charged not at Sylvain...but at Lorenz, sending the nobleman down to the floor. Toon Link had Lorenz pinned down, while Young Link applied the handcuffs.
"What am I being arrested for? I was just giving some pointers to Sylvain." Lorenz would fight back, but even he knew that fighting back against the buddy cops was always futile.
"Sylvain, you are under arrest, for disturbing others with your haircut!" Young Link said to the nobleman after he was done applying the handcuffs. He and Toon Link stood Lorenz up to his feet. "You need a haircut, man!"
"My exquisite haircut is fine just the way it is. You boys just have no taste!" The buddy cops would walk the handcuffed Lorenz down the hallway, leaving Sylvain and Sonia alone. And with nobody around...
"Sooooo, about that kiss..." Sylvain said to Sonia as he held out the mistletoe again, puckering his lips for a kiss. Sonia just slapped the nobleman and walked away, as Sylvain rubbed his face and smiled. "...that went better than expected."
Much like the buddy cops, Zelda and Cloud were on high alert due to how populated the mansion was. As the man of the mansion, it was Cloud's duty to ensure that everything at the mansion was relatively normal. Of course, asking for normality at the mansion was asking for a lot, but Cloud made the most of the opportunity.
"How did I get regulated to babysitting duty...?" wondered Cloud as he was watching over Riki's children, the Nonpongers, in the living room. The swordsman looked practically dead inside, as the Nonpongers were messing around on the mansion's Christmas tree.
"Weeeee!" cheered Wunwun, the chief Nonponger, as he was swinging around the top of the Christmas tree. The Nopon threw himself off the tree and landed on the floor with a thud before he teared up and started crying.
"What's going on?" inquired Shulk as he, Riki, and Melia came inside the living room, before seeing Wunwun crying his eyes out. "Oh no..."
"Wunwun crying, Wunwun clearly in pain!" observed Riki as he hustled his way over to Wunwun, to make sure that the Nopon was okay. "You are bad babysitter, Cloud! Very irresponsible adult, you are!"
"I had nothing to do with it, that was on him," retorted Cloud, only for one of the Nonpongers to smack the swordsman on the head with his staff. "Ow! What was that for!"
"Cloud bad, Cloud very bad!" the Nonponger, Fofora, scolded Cloud, before smacking him on the head with his staff a second time. Having enough of it, Cloud got up and walked away.
"Screw this...go and find someone else to babysit those Nopons, Riki. I quit." Cloud left the living room in a bitter mood, not wanting to deal with the Nonpongers anymore. Speaking of whom, the Nonpongers went back to messing around on the Christmas tree...and Shulk and company didn't pay them any mind whatsoever.
"Wait, Cloud!" Melia called out to the swordsman, who had already left the living room. "Who's going to watch over the Nonpongers now?" Soon smoke entered the kitchen, as Shulk sniffed the air.
"Crap, we left our beef stew cooking on the stove!" the Homs panicked as he, Melia, and Riki quickly ran back to the kitchen. "THE TOMATO SAUCE IS LITERALLY FLOWING OUT OF THE POT! Riki...why do you have the pot lid in your hand?"
Cloud: Tifa and Barret have yet to accept their invites to the mansion, and I kind of have a hunch as to why. I called Barret about what the hold-up was, and he said that he and Tifa are playing the "wait-and-see" approach. So if you-know-who behaves himself, and doesn't kill anyone or burn the mansion down, then Tifa and Barret will show up sooner than later. If not, then I'll be stuck dealing with...
"Cloud...what are you doing today, Cloud?" a certain one-winged angel asked the swordsman, who had just left the living room. Cloud sighed, as he felt Sephiroth standing a couple of feet behind him.
"None of your business, Sephiroth..." replied Cloud, refusing to turn his head back; it wasn't worth any effort. "...not like you would actually care."
"Oh but I do care...and why shouldn't I? We are roommates, after all." Every time he was reminded of having Sephiroth as a roommate, Cloud felt like deleting himself from existence. "We should know everything about each other."
"That's not entirely true. But why don't I flip the question on you, Sephiroth? What are you doing today?" Sephiroth would respond by cracking a smile, one that was wicked to the core.
"I won't be doing much today, but I will say this...I have been very compelled." That was a very ambiguous answer, leaving Cloud clueless as to why Sephiroth actually meant. "Compelled by everyone celebrating this holiday, known as Christmas."
"Yeah, people celebrate Christmas every year. For some, it's their definition of fun. Your definition of fun is making people miserable."
"Yes, you would know from experience, Cloud...that said, I can't help but sense that those who choose to celebrate Christmas hardly feel miserable at all. Why is that, Cloud?"
"Because Christmas is all about joy, and cheer, and making others happy." Cloud never cared for the true meaning(s) of Christmas, so he felt weird mentioning all those things to Sephiroth. "Stuff you wouldn't know about."
"But why compels people to celebrate the attributes you listed? That, Cloud, is what drives me the most...I want to know what makes Christmas such a day that people such as yourself cherish deeply."
"So you want to know the true meaning of Christmas?" Thinking that such a quest would give him the answer he was looking for, Sephiroth nodded his head. "Personally, I don't want to teach you, so I'll find you two boys who can..."
The buddy cops dragged Lorenz to their police station, before flinging the nobleman inside their jail cell. Lorenz, feeling salty over being arrested, was grabbing the prison bars as he glared down Toon Link and Young Link.
"You can't keep me in here forever!" Lorenz shouted at the buddy cops, who were tuning out the nobleman as they were eating some doughnuts. Which was part of their police protocol. "My haircut is nowhere near worthy of such a punishment like this!"
"Welcome to the club, pal..." said Wario, as Lorenz turned around and saw the fatso in the jail cell; Villager and Slippy Toad were also in the jail cell. "...if this is your first time, consider yourself lucky."
"Ah, I have some company...not the kind of company I wanted, but I'll take it. What are you all in here for?"
"Eating too many Christmas cookies," replied Villager; someone oughta teach the young lad about having self-control.
"Trying to unwrap my gifts before Christmas," replied Wario; sometimes the fatso just didn't know the meaning of patience.
"I got arrested just for merely existing!" squealed Slippy, as everyone in the jail cell found the frog's charges to be completely understandable.
Slippy: Out of everyone in the mansion, I might have been arrested the most by the buddy cops. That's a good thing, right? Do I get a medal for my accolades?
"Come to think of it, we should've arrested Sonia," Toon Link discussed with Young Link, as he finished off his pink glazed doughnut. "How are you gonna present yourself as a professor, with your navel out in the open?"
"On that note, we should arrest Byleth, too," said Young Link, as the buddy cops had their eye on the professor for some time now. "It's only a miracle that we left her run free for so long..."
"Toon Link, Young Link! I got an 'important mission' for guys," Cloud informed the buddy cops as he knocked on their door. Young Link dropped his doughnut in a snap, as he opened the door and let Cloud in.
"Lay it on us, deputy sheriff Cloud," the Hylian said to the swordsman as he gleefully let him inside the police station. "What is this important mission?"
"Need us to buy a last-minute Christmas gift?" Toon Link asked Cloud as he took out a slip of paper with numbers on it. "I stole all of Heihachi's credit card information, we should be good..."
"No, I don't need a gift..." Snapping his fingers in disgust, Toon Link placed Heihachi's credit card info back in his pocket. "...this important mission has more to do with my archenemy, Sephiroth."
"Oh, so you want us to buy a Christmas gift for Sephiroth?" A very interesting request, but one that the buddy cops would be more than happy to oblige. "Hutch and I are open to suicide missions."
"Sephiroth doesn't need a gift. Or want a gift. But what he really wants, is for someone to teach him the true meaning of Christmas, or whatever."
"Huh?" Toon Link apparently didn't know what Cloud meant, as the young Hylian raised an eyebrow. "What do you mean by 'Christmas, or whatever'?"
"I think Cloud is giving us a choice," assumed Young Link, as Toon Link thoughtfully nodded his head with a finger underneath his chin. "What kind of holiday is 'Whatever', Cloud? Is it a made-up holiday, like Festivus?"
"A Festivus, for the rest of us!" exclaimed Toon Link with a show of hands, as Cloud let out an exasperated sigh. "I wonder if this holiday of 'Whatever' comes with the Airing of Grievances and the Feats of Strength."
"We sure got a lot of grievances with the residents. Especially with Sonic, for choosing to spend his money foolishly on chili dogs rather than doughnuts..."
"Can you two let me finish?" a rather irritated Cloud asked the buddy cops, who both shut their mouths in an instant. "I need you to teach Sephiroth the meaning of Christmas since he's so curious about it, for whatever reason."
"How do you think we should go about it?" asked Toon Link, unsure of how and Young Link should go about teaching Sephiroth of all people about Christmas. "Should we hold Sephy down to a chair, and sing Christmas songs to him?"
"If that's what you wanna do, then go ahead and knock yourselves out. Just make sure to keep Sephiroth away from me, alright?"
"Pardon me, Cloud, but are you really the deputy sheriff?" Lorenz asked the swordsman, who saw the nobleman and others in the jail cell. "If so, would you be so kind to give us pardon?"
"I suppose I can...Toon Link, Young Link, get to it." So the buddy cops begrudgingly opened the jail cell door, allowing Lorenz, Wario, and Villager to leave. But when it was Slippy's turn to exit... "Oh, not you, Slippy - you stay in there until you, uh, learn your lesson."
"I can do all the learning that I need to!" cheered Slippy, stepping back as the buddy cops closed the jail cell door. Seeing Lorenz and the others leave the police station as free men made the buddy cops feel devastated.
Toon Link: Won't lie, a part of me died when Cloud made us release Lorenz from his prison. That snobby noble is gonna give people nightmares with that ugly mop on his head that he calls a "haircut". But he's not our priority right now. Sephiroth wants to get in the Christmas spirit, and Hutch and I are gonna give lonesome mama's boy all the Christmas spirit he needs! We'll need all the help we can get - Santa Claus, the ghosts of Christmas, and maybe even Frosty the Snowman. Gonna need a magical hat for that one; Hat Kid might be in town.
The buddy cops had their main objective, on Christmas Eve - to teach and show Sephiroth what the true meaning of Christmas was. Neither Toon Link nor Young Link ever imagined that Sephiroth wanted to be in the holiday spirit, but the mission had more to do with the one-winged angel's curiosity than anything. Sephiroth just wanted to know why everyone was celebrating the holidays so much!
Having searched most of the mansion, the buddy cops eventually encountered Sephiroth in the basement. It was in this basement that the Rabbids celebrating Christmas their own way, as they were gathered around an extremely frail Christmas tree. A Rabbid placed an ornament on the tree, pleasantly surprised that the tree tipped over.
"Is this basement your natural habitat?" Young Link asked Sephiroth, as the Rabbids worked together to pull the tree back up. "Do you consider the darkness your friend?"
"This is where I go to get away from everyone else," explained Sephiroth, stroking his fingers through his Masamune; the one-winged angel was seldom seen without his blade in hand. "The endless chaos of this mansion...it bothers me."
"Then that makes you a naturalized mansion resident! Congratulations!" Toon Link commended Sephiroth as he held out his hand; Sephiroth just stared at the hand like it was poison, as Toon Link awkwardly retracted his hand.
"So, uh, where do you want to start first, Sephiroth?" Young Link asked the one-winged angel, not sure of where to start himself. "The floor is yours, man..."
"All I want to know is why Christmas is celebrated so much," replied Sephiroth, not giving the buddy cops much to work with. "The decorations, the gift buying, the fascination with...'Santa Claus;..."
"Santa Claus! We can always start with Santa Claus. Fortunately, we have a Santa Claus of our own!"
The buddy cops took Sephiroth to the gaming room, where Doc Louis was doing his Santa Claus schtick. Due to the events that transpired two episodes ago, Doc Louis had a sign next to him that said, "No Frogs Allowed".
"What do you want for Christmas, little girl?" Doc Louis asked the person sitting on his lap. Who was it, you ask? Tiny Tina. The Vault Hunters - Lilith, Brick, and Mordecai - were standing around, acting as chaperones.
"I am NOT a little girl!" Tina shouted at Doc Louis, resisting the urge to punch the boxing trainer in his throat. "And what I want for Christmas is a rocket launcher, that can go KA-BOOM!"
"You're not getting a rocket launcher for Christmas," Lilith said to Tina, speaking to her like how a mother would, as Tiny threw a small temper tantrum. "You wouldn't know how to handle it."
"Lilith's right, you should ask for those cute little princess unicorn dolls instead!" suggested Brick, speaking in a slightly cutesy voice, as his pals gave him weird looks. "Uh, you know, because they're cute, like Tina..."
"Hold up, did you just call Tina 'cute'?" Mordecai questioned Brick, who looked nervously to the side while twiddling with his fingers. "You must have some pretty low standards, my guy."
"I WANT A ROCKET LAUNCHER FOR CHRISTMAS!" Tina cried out as she banged her fists on Doc Louis, slightly hurting the boxing trainer. "Then, I can use it to blow every baby to smithereens! I CURSE THE VERY EARTH THEY CRAWL UPON!"
"...thank you, kind sir, have a good day!" Brick thanked Doc Louis as he grabbed Tina; Tina held onto Doc Louis' Santa costume for dear life, until Brick eventually pried her off.
Leon Powalski: Had a chance encounter with Tiny Tina - asked her how she made her explosives. I still wanted to learn more, so I asked Master Hand to formally invite Tina over for Christmas (...and New Year's, I guess). Oh, and those friends of hers, she just dragged them along. The redhead looks like a real snack... *smiles*
"That is just a man in a costume," stated Sephiroth, as the Vault Hunters did their best to hold Tina back from Doc Louis. "What fun is it to dress up as a make-believe character?"
"Some folks just need a coping device during Christmas time," replied Toon Link, while Doc Louis waited patiently for someone to sit in his lap. "Why don't you give it a try?"
"I am not sitting on a grown man's lap..." That didn't stop the buddy cops from grabbing Sephiroth and dragging the one-winged angel over to Doc Louis. "...let go of me this instant!"
"Ho, ho ho! If it isn't Sephiroth!" exclaimed Doc Louis, disturbing Sephiroth greatly with his Santa Claus impersonation. "You are a quell surprise. Why don't you have a seat on my lap?"
"I am not interested..." Using an extra amount of force, the buddy cops forced Sephiroth on Doc Louis' lap, making the one-winged angel feel uncomfortable.
"So, Sephiroth, what do you want for Christmas?" Sephiroth gave Doc Louis a death glare - the sooner he got this over with, the better.
"I want the whole world to burn in flames, and for everyone to feel despair." Not sure of what to make of Sephiroth's answer, Doc Louis simply nodded his head, smiling gently.
"An oddly specific gift you got there, sonny! But do you wish for anything material?" Sephiroth could only smirk in response.
"I do not care about material items. What I do care about is causing despair..." Doc Louis was gonna kick Sephiroth off his lap if he didn't shut up about despair anytime soon.
"MERRY CHRISTMAS!" bellowed Bowser as he came inside the gaming room, dressed up as Santa Claus and carrying a bunch of presents. "Ho, ho, ho, pimp!" The Koopa King then pointed at Lilith, Tiny Tina, Sephiroth, and Mordecai, in that order.
"Did he refer to the guy with the long sword as a woman?" frowned Mordecai, as Lilith and Brick were giggling. Unwritten Rule #91: Never, ever giggle at Sephiroth's expense. "I know he loves to play with fire, literally, but..."
"I WILL KILL YOU!" Tina screamed at Lilith, incensed as she leaped at the Koopa King. The teenager tried to pull off Bowser's beard, as the Vault Hunters tried to pull her away. "I am NOT a prostitute!"
"Leave the man alone, Tina, he was just saying the truth!" Brick scolded the teenager, as Lilith stopped what she was doing and frowned at Brick. "Not saying that you're a prostitute yourself, Lilith..."
"Why are there multiple Santas?" Sephiroth asked the buddy cops, watching the tussle between the Vault Hunters, Tina, and Bowser. "Is one Santa enough?"
"You can never really go wrong with two many Santas," replied Young Link, as Tina successfully ripped Bowser's Santa beard off his face. Bowser would wince in pain. "Gotta spread the wealth around."
"Get off, you're getting too heavy for Santa..." Doc Louis said to Sephiroth, who got off of the boxing trainer without any hesitation. "...Santa's more used to little boys and girls."
"Just an FYI, certain guys dressed up as Santa might be pedophiles," Toon Link whispered to Sephiroth, as Doc Louis let out a sigh of relief. "Doc Louis likes Little Mac very much, so the jury's still out on him."
"I am certain it is," remarked Sephiroth before he saw Rodin approaching him; he, too, was dressed up as Santa. "Why are you a part of the fad?"
"Look man, it's not like I have much of a choice..." Rodin told Sephiroth before seeing Bowser dressed as Santa - but with no beard to show for it. "...Bowser, whatever happened to your beard?"
"Ask her..." grumbled Bowser as he pointed at Tina, who was gnawing away at the Koopa King's white beard on the floor. Rodin couldn't help but laugh.
While having Sephiroth sit on the lap of Santa Claus was nice and all (although it made Sephiroth feel uncomfortable), the buddy cops felt like those efforts weren't enough to show Sephiroth the true meaning of Christmas. Did the true meaning of Christmas have anything to do with Santa? Not by any means.
Moving on to the next step of their "Christmas Education" process, the buddy cops decided to play some Christmas songs for Sephiroth. They took the one-winged angel to the Star Records room, where they had Yashiro whip out his karaoke machine.
"As a reminder, this karaoke machine can only play instrumental songs," Yashiro explained to Toon Link and Young Link as if they were both five years old. "No singing - just music!"
"That's cool - we can have Fox and Falco sing the songs for us," said Toon Link; Fox and Falco, who were both chilling together in the back of the room, gave the Hylian looks of great concern.
"We do have talented idol singers..." Fox said to Toon Link and Young Link, who were both eyeing Fox and Falco very intently. "Eleonora's a fine choice..."
"Yeah, we don't want the idols wasting their talents," replied Young Link, as Knuckles came inside the Star Records room drinking a cup of coffee. "Which is why we need you and Falco to sing some karaoke..."
"Oh snap, are we doing Christmas karaoke?" inquired Knuckles, ready to show off some of his singing chops. "You have no idea how long I've waited for this moment..."
Knuckles: Karaoke is one of the best things ever invented. You get to sing to your heart out, and if you sing poorly, everyone listening is forced to take it. It's the most fun version of psychological torture there is.
"Thank you, Knuckles, you're a lifesaver..." Falco thanked the echidna, who giddily grabbed the microphone that was connected to the karaoke machine. Knuckles was all excited, totally in the mood for singing some classic Christmas tunes.
"You will be singing Christmas songs for Sephiroth," Toon Link explained to Knuckles, whose excitement vanished away in a snap. Knuckles gulped nervously as he looked up at Sephiroth, who was staring deep into his soul.
"Do I get a bigger audience?" asked Knuckles, as he felt unnerved singing in front of Sephiroth. He feared that a poor singing performance would get him beheaded by the Masamune.
"Tonight, maybe, but Sephiroth wants to know the true meaning of Christmas. So you'll be educating him through song."
"I don't expect much...but don't bore me," Sephiroth said to Knuckles, almost as if he was giving out a threat. Knuckles gulped nervously once more.
"Yashiro, can you select that Temptations song for me?" Knuckles asked the idol singer, who searched for the song on the karaoke machine...with no results.
"Sorry, Knuckles, there's no Temptations on the karaoke machine," Yashiro apologized to the echidna, who felt even more nervous. "Do you have another song in mind?"
"Um...let's go with...that song by Faith Hill!" Knuckles saw Sephiroth peering down at him, and was nearly shaking to the core. "'Where are you, Christmas!'"
"The original - not the trap version," Toon Link affirmed to Yashiro, who waved off the Hylian as he searched for the Faith Hill song. Again, no results.
"No Faith Hill...thought I had that one," Yashiro furrowed his brow, deciding to look through the list of Christmas songs available on his karaoke machine. "What about the Jackson 5? 'I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus'?"
"No way, that song blatantly promotes infidelity, and we don't stand for that," stated Young Link, in an attempt to show how morally superior and virtuous he and Toon Link were. "That song also confirms Michael Jackson as a snitch, which we also don't stand for."
"We need a song that shows Sephiroth what Christmas is all about," Toon Link explained to Yashiro, who searched for a song that fitted the criteria. "Nothing about drummer boys, or grandmas getting run over by reindeer."
"Ah, here's a good one - A Holly Jolly Christmas!" exclaimed Yashiro when he found the perfect Christmas for Knuckles to sing to Sephiroth. "Knuckles, you know the words to the song, don't you?"
"I barely even knew that song existed," confessed Knuckles, as Yashiro facepalmed at the echidna. C'mon Knuckles, that song was an absolute classic! "I only listen to stuff like 'Christmas in Follies', okay?!"
"A giant screen sure would come in handy right now..." Since Yashiro didn't have a screen to work with, he went forth with another option. "...how about you just read the lyrics off your phone?"
"Lord, give me all the strength..." So Knuckles pulled up the song lyrics on his phone, hoping that Sephiroth would give him a chance. Fox and Falco, watching from afar, were lowkey expecting Knuckles to fail as they snickered.
Falco: Sometimes it sucks being intimidated by a guy like Sephiroth, and fearing for your own safety...but when it's somebody else on the receiving end, it's pretty funny! Funny unless that person gets killed, that is.
Knuckles gave Yashiro a thumbs up, as Yashiro pressed the play button on the karaoke machine. The instrumental started to play, as Knuckles cleared his throat and was ready to sing.
"'Have a holly, jolly Christmas, it's the best time of the year...'" Knuckles sang, albeit nervously, with the sweat pouring down his face. "'I don't know if there'll be snow, but have a cup of cheer'..."
"This song is starting to bore me," remarked Sephiroth, having a bigger issue with the song itself and the nature of it than with Knuckles' singing. The one-winged angel's remark only increased Knuckles' nervousness by tenfold.
"'Ho, ho, the mistletoe, hung where you can see...'" Knuckles was so nervous, that he completely skipped the rest of the chorus. Fox and Falco were doing their best to stifle their laughter. "'Somebody waits for you, kiss her once for me...'"
"I've had enough of this..." Grown tired of the song, Sephiroth took out his Masamune and was about to do some damage. Yashiro shrieked as he jumped in between Sephiroth and his karaoke machine.
"Wait, Sephiroth, wait!" the idol singer said to the one-winged angel, just before he was about to strike. "Why don't we have Knuckles sing another Christmas song for you?"
"If all the other songs are just like that drivel, then I'm not interested." Sephiroth put his Masamune away, as Yashiro hurriedly pressed the stop button on his karaoke machine.
"Would 'Carol of the Bells' work on Sephiroth?" Young Link asked Toon Link, as a now relieved Knuckles faint unto the floor. All the nervousness must have gone to his head.
"That song has no lyrics...wouldn't teach Sephiroth much about the spirit of Christmas," replied Toon Link, as Jigglypuff conspicuously came inside the Star Records room. She saw Knuckles lying on the floor, and drew on his face in black marker immediately. "Time for us to move on..."
The buddy cops believed that the best way to show Sephiroth the true meaning of Christmas was to show the one-winged angel some Christmas camaraderie. Even though Sephiroth was never the one to cherish camaraderie, he was willing to be an open book...just this once.
"This is where most of the Christmas magic happens," Toon Link explained to Sephiroth, as the buddy cops led the one-winged angel to the kitchen. Inside the kitchen, Sombra was frying some dough on a frying pan, with Cilan supervising her. Reaper was chilling in front of the freezer, with his arms folded.
"Can you please open the freezer already?" a certain mage begged to Reaper, as he was holding a tray of coconut balls; it was Schezo, the mage whom the three swordsmen helped in episode 243. "I NEED TO FREEZE MY BALLS!"
"Sounds like a personal problem, buddy..." replied the uncaring Reaper, not even moving a muscle. Soon Cilan entered the kitchen, wearing a Christmas hat, as he returned from the dining room. His presence caught Schezo's attention.
"Cilan, good sir, this gentleman refuses to let me freeze my balls." With an innuendo like that, Cilan just had to smile. "Can you please ask him to move, before I have my way with him?"
"Reaper, Schezo here wants you to move," Cilan said to the mercenary, before winking and wagging his finger at him. "Don't make me ask nicely!"
"Fine, I'll move..." grumbled Reaper, moving out of the way as he allowed Schezo to open the freezer and put his coconut balls inside. "...stupid coconut balls, nobody wants 'em anyways."
Schezo: There will be a Christmas party later tonight, and I asked Cilan if I could make my world-class coconut balls for the festivities! The partygoers can do whatever they want to the balls that I've crafted - why, they can even rub them as much as they want!...What's so funny about that?
"How are the bunuelos coming along, Sombra?" Cilan asked the hacker as he opened the oven to check on the ham he was cooking. The connoisseur was cooking the ham for the Christmas dinner tomorrow.
"They are coming along very nicely," smiled Sombra, flipping the dough on the frying pan as Pit entered the kitchen. Pit saw Sombra and Reaper in the kitchen and smiled as he shook his head proudly.
"Pleases me to know that Hispanic people celebrate Christmas!" the angel remarked proudly, as Sombra snickered quietly at Pit's profound ignorance. "Hispanic people are much more multicultured than I give them credit for."
"What other holiday do you think we celebrate around this time, chico? Us Latinos aren't foreigners from a faraway planet, you know..."
"Eh, I just assumed that Hispanics celebrated the holiday of Feliz Navidad instead." The more that he heard Pit talk, the more Reaper wanted to shoot himself in the head. "I only hear about that holiday around Christmastime. Just like Hannukah!"
"Feliz Navidad is Spanish for Merry Christmas, you dolt..." Reaper clarified for Pit as he facepalmed, unable to take Pit's ignorance any more. The urge to kill himself was pretty high.
"Speaking of Spanish...how exactly do you say 'Merry Christmas' in that language?" Reaper was on his last nerve, as he punched a nearby wall. Good thing he didn't leave a hole behind.
"I am so done with this kid..." Distancing himself from Pit, Reaper retreated to the dining room, opting to chill in there until Sombra was done frying.
"So, Sephiroth, what do you think?" Toon Link asked the one-winged angel, who had kept to himself as he witnessed everything in the kitchen. "Did it put a smile on your face, seeing people of different creeds be filled with the Christmas spirit?"
"Not particularly," replied Sephiroth; the only stuff he usually smiled at was people suffering or being in pain. "I don't think I'm convinced enough..."
"Then it's time for us to move on to the next phase," Young Link said to Sephiroth, as the buddy cops guided the one-winged angel away from the kitchen. "You'll be a Christmas believer, Sephiroth, just you wait!"
The buddy cops took Sephiroth outside, wanting the one-winged angel to get a load of the Christmas lights. These lights might not reveal the true meaning of Christmas to Sephiroth, but at least he could see a great Christmas display!
"Alright, Pikachu, Pichu...these lights have been flickering on and off," Link said to the two mouse Pokemon, who were situated outside the front of the mansion. Sephiroth was standing with the buddy cops, on the side. "You got plenty of electricity, right?"
"Pika pika!" exclaimed Pikachu, giving Link a strong word of confirmation. And that was all Link needed to hear.
"Good! In that case, I'll let you do your thing. Do your worst!" So Pikachu and Pichu charged up the electricity in their cheeks, before unleashing a wicked Thunderbolt...on Link, electrocuting them. "DO IT ON THE LIGHTS, YOU STUPID POKEMON!"
"Master Hand must enjoy being a showman," remarked Sephiroth, as Pikachu and Pichu used their electricity to power the Christmas lights. The lights were shining bright on the mansion yet again. "Is he the only one like this?"
"Take a look around...see for yourself," replied Young Link, as Sephiroth turned around...and saw Mario and the neighbors' houses, decked from head to toe with Christmas lights and decorations. The sight of which made Sephiroth cringe.
"So Christmas is the season of giving...and extreme vanity." There was one decoration in particular that caught Sephiroth's eye - the Christmas carousel in Fox and Krystal's front yard. "Is that a carousel?"
"Fox spent a fortune on it online," explained Toon Link, as Sephiroth headed to Fox's house to get a good look at the carousel. "Fox's wife Krystal hates it since he's a hater of fun."
"Fox McCloud is married? Why don't I visit his wife..." Sephiroth advanced to the front door of Fox's house; the buddy cops, fearing that Sephiroth might do something he shouldn't, stepped in the way of the one-winged angel.
"No, Sephiroth, you can't go in there!" Young Link said to the Sephiroth, having to come up with a good enough reason to dispel the one-winged angel. "Krystal can't have any visitors because...because...she's pregnant!"
"If it's an early pregnancy, then it's none of my concern." Sephiroth rang the doorbell (surprising that he didn't just slice the front door down), as the buddy cops looked on with bated breath. Soon, Krystal answered the door, as the buddy cops grew nervous.
"Oh...hello, Sephiroth," Krystal greeted the one-winged angel, startled to see him standing on the doorstep. "You are a very...a very swell surprise."
"Mrs. McCloud...Merry Christmas." Krystal was beyond shocked to hear those words from Sephiroth, believing that it was too out-of-character for him.
"You came here to wish me Merry Christmas?" To say that Krystal was shocked would be the biggest understatement of Christmas so far. "I did not expect to hear that from you!"
"And also, happy holidays. Not sure if that carries a similar meaning..." Technically, it did, but Krystal still took the time to show Sephiroth her gratitude.
"I still appreciate the gesture. Merry Christmas to you too, Sephiroth." With a big smile on her face, Krystal closed the door, while slightly hoping that Sephiroth had no ulterior motive to kill her or anything.
Krystal: Sephiroth wished me Merry Christmas! That was awfully sweet of him. Very weird and unlike him, yes, but still very sweet. Sadly, I can't tell what Sephiroth did to Fox; I might have him worried that Sephiroth secretly has a crush on me!
Kanji: A crush? As in like, a Crush soda? *laughs to himself*
Krystal: Is it just me, or do I hear Naoto calling in the distance?
Kanji: N-Naoto?! Where?! *looks around, before running away* Where are you, Naoto?!
"Why are you looking at me like that?" Sephiroth asked the buddy cops as he turned around, seeing how shocked the young Hylians were. "Did I do something wrong?"
"You seriously wished Krystal Merry Christmas?!" an astonished Toon Link said to Sephiroth, who could only laugh in a way that was fitting for him. "Have you gone mad, my guy?"
"I have seen others wish strangers Merry Christmas. Is that not part of being a good Samaritan?" Sephiroth was far removed from being a good Samaritan, which was why the buddy cops were so shocked by what the one-winged angel had done.
"Yoo-hoo, buddy cops!" Peach called out to the buddy cops from her driveway, as she was pulling some stuff out of the trunk of Mario's car. "You mind helping me carry these items into the house?"
"All she's got are plastic cups and plates..." grumbled Young Link, as he and Toon Link went over to Mario's driveway. "...not the kind of heavy lifting we're looking for." Sephiroth followed after the buddy cops, in a curious state of mind.
Sephiroth was now inside Mario's house with the buddy cops, as three guests were present in the living room - Impa, Lana, and Linkle. As one might imagine, Mario invited the ladies of Hyrule over for Christmas (and maybe New Year's, if Master Hand forced him to). With Peony and Peonia already occupying space, Impa and company had to stay in one of the hotels crafted by Steve and Alex.
"Since I could not give my red diamond to Princess Kairi, I shall give it to you," Steve said to Impa as he offered the Sheikah a red diamond. Lana and Linkle were standing by, snickering quietly to themselves. "For you shine bright like a diamond..."
"Lana, Linkle, please tell this blockhead idiot to leave me alone, before I have to punch him," Impa said to Lana to Linkle, who were both enjoying themselves too much to intervene. Meanwhile, Mario was sitting at a computer doing a Zoom call with an old friend - Professor Herschel Layton.
"How's Christmas on the other side-a of the pond, professor?" Mario asked Layton, who was on the screen eating some Christmas cookies. Knowing how much of an ace Layton was, he probably baked the cookies himself.
"A little more quiet than usual, but still very homely," replied Layton - sounded like the perfect kind of Christmas for the British professor. "Luke is keeping me company, and Inspector Grosky pays me a visit now and then."
"That's good! So what do you do in your spare-a time, at home? Sing Christmas songs, bake-a Christmas cookies?"
"I've been watching some movies. Saw several films that I've never seen before. They were quite delightful, I'll say!"
"Watching movies, eh? I should send-a you a copy of my movie - Threat Level: Twilight. It's a real classic, a real-a adventure. 'I love adventure, nothing's greater to me...'"
"Merry Christmas, Jumpman!" Peony said to Mario, appearing from behind as he put Mario in a playful chokehold. Hunter and Peonia were standing behind Peony, the former armed with his notepad and the latter feeling embarrassed.
"No way. Oh, you're kidding me. Peony! Say hello to Peony, Layton!" Layton gave Peony a smile and a wave, as Peony returned the favor.
"Happy holidays to ya, buddy! Merry Christmas!" Peony said to Layton, as Hunter was left stunned; the cheetah had his mouth agape, as he dropped his pen and notepad on the floor. Spyro walked by, chuckling at Hunter.
"So much for 'Petunia' being an 'atheist'," the purple dragon joked, as Hunter quickly picked up his pen and notepad to scratch off an item on his list.
Peony: Of course I celebrate Christmas! Just because I'm busy all the time Adven-Touring doesn't mean I don't have the holiday spirit. Besides, Christmas is awesome! First off, you get to spend time with people you love. Secondly, you can get wasted and no one can say anything. Third, you give presents. What's better than giving presents? And fourth, getting presents. So, four things. Not bad for one day. It's really the greatest day of all time.
"I'll be in my room if anyone needs me..." Peonia announced to nobody in particular as she retreated to her room. Sephiroth kept to himself in the living room, as he gave Mario and Peony a judging look.
"Tried to warn him..." said Impa as she looked down at Steve, who was lying on the floor after the Sheikah punched him. Impa then walked over to Sephiroth. "...I see you're no social butterfly," she said to the one-winged angel.
"It was the curiosity of my mind that led me here," responded Sephiroth, as he saw Mario and Peony now playfighting with each other. Good thing that Peonia had already left. "Mario is a bigger buffoon than I thought..."
"I'll say...I had to spend several months with him. It was mostly to fend off an evil force...two evil forces, but Mario learned over time. Slowly."
"You lived with Mario? My deepest condolences..." Soon the buddy cops came over to Sephiroth, having finished helping with Peach in the kitchen.
"Have you learned the true meaning of Christmas yet, Sephiroth?" Toon Link asked the one-winged angel, eagerly awaiting a response. "Did all the togetherness inside Mario's household show you a new light?"
"Those two must be a handful," Impa smirked at Sephiroth, seeing how the buddy cops were standing around Sephiroth like puppies desiring a treat. "Been entertaining them the entire day, haven't you?"
"I have made the most of it," replied Sephiroth as he glanced at Impa, before turning his attention back to the buddy cops. "Why don't we head back to the mansion? I must get away from Mario at once..."
"Uncle, uncle!" shouted Mario, tapping out as Peony had him pinned down to the floor in a submission move. One might think that Peonia tuned out Mario's cries for help.
The buddy cops brought Sephiroth back to the mansion, taking the one-winged angel to the living room. In addition to the Christmas tree - which was mostly a mess, thanks to the Nonpongers - there was also a nativity set present.
"As you can see, this represents the very moment that Jesus was born," Young Link explained to Sephiroth, as Simon was tidying up the nativity set. "Since Jesus was born on December 25th."
"Allegedly," stated Toon Link, as Sephiroth observed all of the nativity set's decorations and elements. "That's what the mainstream media and big-name corporations claim."
"Let's see if it is true..." said Sephiroth as he turned his attention to Simon, who was done tidying the nativity set. "...Simon Belmont, I have a favor to ask."
"Sure, Sephiroth, I have a moment to spare," responded Simon; with Sephiroth being a one-winged angel, Simon had no qualms about killing him.
"Show me in the bible where Jesus Christ was born..." Up for the challenge, Simon readily pulled out a bible, as he was flipping through the pages. "...born on December 25th."
"December 25th? Um...let's see..." Simon kept on flipping through his bible, before reaching the book of Matthew. "If you look here in the first chapter of Matthew, in the last verse..."
"But does this verse explicitly state December 25th? Does it say December 25th in Mark, or Luke, or John?" Simon was getting flustered, and he couldn't afford to let himself look weak in front of Sephiroth.
"Excuse me for a moment...I need some backup..." Simon put his bible away and hurried out of the living room; the last thing he wanted was to dig himself into a hole he had no chance of getting out of.
Richter: Simon loves to educate people about the bible. If anyone ever asks him a question, he'll drop everything and tell you everything that you need to know. But if you ask him a question he can't answer, and he feels cornered...
Simon: *from afar* Richter! Where are you? I need you!
Richter:...he always comes running to me. *sighs* Every time... *leaves*
"Why did they pick December 25th as Jesus' birthday?" Sephiroth asked the buddy cops - not that he believed they had the answer. He just wanted to see them use their brainpower and intellect.
"Well, it's the end of the year...gotta end every year with a bang," shrugged Toon Link, as Young Link nodded his head in agreement. Soon Sonic entered the living room, grabbing one of the many Christmas presents under the Christmas tree.
"Don't mind me, dudes - just wanted to get this done before Christmas," the hedgehog said to Sephiroth and company before he quickly left the living room with the gift in hand. The way Sonic left the living room strongly drew the buddy cops' attention.
"Jumping the gun now, are we?" said Young Link, wondering what Sonic was up to as he scratched his chin. "This calls for a mini-investigation..."
Sonic brought the gift with him to the foyer, where he was speaking with Zelda. The buddy cops were peeking around the corner, eavesdropping.
"I just wanted to give my Secret Santa present to Crash, if it's not too much trouble," Sonic said to Zelda, hoping that the princess would give him the green light. She seemed kind enough.
"We do a lot of gift exchanging every Christmas..." replied Zelda as she thought over Sonic's request, with Sonic eagerly waiting for approval. "...we could afford to save some time. You can go ahead and give Crash his gift."
"Awesome! Thanks, Princess Zelda!" Sonic ran out of the foyer, as Zelda went on her merry way. The buddy cops appeared out from the corner, with Sephiroth accompanying them.
"Got a bad feeling about this, Hutch," Toon Link said to Young Link, fearing that Sonic had an evil plot up his sleeve. "What if the Secret Santa gift that Sonic wants to give to Crash...is a bomb that kills him?!"
"That would be plausible...if that wasn't Sonic at all!" replied Young Link, as Toon Link gasped in horror at the very thought. "Could be someone disguised as Sonic, looking to kill Crash. Could be an evil scientist guy with a funny name."
"And who do you blokes think that could be? Dr. Cortex? Dr. Brio? That doesn't sound like anything they would do..."
The buddy cops and Sephiroth were suddenly joined by Dingodile - one of Cortex's minions, who was sticking around in Seattle. Was operating a diner, but had said diner be shut down thanks to Tiny.
"I reckon that hedgehog is giving Crash that gift for a specific reason," Dingodile said to the buddy cops, calling it how he saw it. "Why else would he give a gift on early notice?"
"You mean to tell us nobody disguised themselves as Sonic, to kill Crash?" Toon Link asked Dingodile, who shook his head no - while at the same time questioning the buddy cops' sanity.
"I don't know about you, Sephiroth...but maybe Sonic can show you the true meaning of Christmas!" Young Link suggested to the one-winged angel, who found himself quite skeptical. "Maybe if you see for yourself..."
"I don't need to see anything," replied Sephiroth, only for the buddy cops to grab his hands and lead him away. "Let go of me this instant!" Dingodile watched as the buddy cops took Sephiroth away, smiling to himself.
"That bloke sure could use a little Christmas cheer..." Dingodile had this to say about Sephiroth before an imaginary light bulb flashed above his head. "...think I know just the trick!"
Being the champion of Galar, Leon loved a good competition. And going up against a worthy competitor made it all the more fun for him. Leon seemingly found one in Crash, with whom he was playing arcade games in the arcade room. Hop was rooting on for his older brother, while Aku gave Crash his moral support
"Go, Lee, kick his bandicoot butt!" Hop cheered on for Leon, giving his brother all the support he needed. Hop's cheering seemed to work, as Leon was able to beat Crash swiftly in Galaga. "YES!"
"Another day, another win!" rejoiced Leon, relishing in the splendors of victory as Crash stomped his foot in bitter defeat. Sonic came inside the arcade room with his gift, as Leon was celebrating his victory with Hop.
"You really showed Crash who's boss. And you know what, Lee? I'm gonna beat him down even harder than you did! It won't even be close!"
"Not so fast, Hopster," said Sonic, garnering the attention of Leon, Hop, and Crash. Upon seeing Sonic, Crash furrowed his brow. "Got a Christmas gift that I wanna give to Crash..."
"Is that so?" grinned Leon as he folded his arms; the buddy cops and Sephiroth showed up at the arcade, standing at the doorway. "I gotta see this!"
"Now, Crash, I know you have been giving me the cold shoulder for a few weeks now..." Sonic walked over to Crash, who looked away and turned his head. "...but I'm your Secret Santa this year, and so...I got you this."
Sonic held out his gift to Crash, expecting the bandicoot to accept it. Very slowly, Crash lifted his eyelid as he peeked at the gift, before eventually turning his head to see the gift in full view.
"It's a little gift to make up for what I did with you and your siblings," Sonic explained to Crash, who took the gift and looked at it all over. "I paid my debts to the Keyblade Hero 3...now it's your turn."
"What could it be, Crash?" Aku asked the bandicoot, who was in no hurry to unwrap the Christmas present. When Crash tore the lid off the box, he reached inside...and pulled out three bazookas!
"Three bazookas, wow!" exclaimed Hop, as Crash was now a happy camper. He even licked one of the bazookas, claiming it all for himself. "All of them for Crash, too!"
"Two of those are for Coco and Crunch, actually," clarified Sonic, feeling vindicated from seeing Crash so happy. "So the gift's a three-in-one. Sorry for putting you and your siblings through the..." The hedgehog would be interrupted when Crash ran up to him and gave him a hug. "...oh yeah. That's the stuff."
"Looks like Crash has accepted your apology, Sonic," Aku said to the hedgehog, who was being held so tight by Crash that he couldn't move his arms.
"Yeah, what a way to be a great friend!" Leon commended Sonic as he gave the hedgehog a thumbs up seal of approval. Nothing better than getting a thumbs up from the champion of Galar himself.
Sonic: I had broken Crash and Coco's bazookas and tried to blame it on Sora, so to make it up to them I bought 'em both some new bazookas! Crunch never had a bazooka himself, but I still got him one anyway. Can't just go around punching people forever!
Brick: *from afar* WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY THAT?!
"Hey, Sonic!" Sora called out to the hedgehog as he entered the arcade room, as Crash ended the hug. "Just wanted to say thank you again, for those Christmas cookies. Did you bake those yourself?"
"I had some help in the kitchen..." confessed Sonic, as Sora gave the hedgehog a skeptical look. "...but it wasn't Palutena, mind you. Dunban came through." Just like that, Sora was relieved.
"Ah, should have known! Riku and Kairi really loved those cookies. If you got any more, we'll be waiting!" After giving his message to Sonic, Sora was about to leave the arcade room - only to encounter Sephiroth.
"Sora..." Sephiroth said to the Keyblade wielder, acknowledging his presence. Sora just nodded his head at the one-winged angel, as he left.
Sora: I wonder - is this universe's Sephiroth stronger than the one from our universe? I bet he's probably weaker.
Riku: Even if he was, he could still wipe the floor with you. Anyone from this universe can kick your butt.
Sora: Oh yeah? Give me some names, then!
Riku: Let's see...Jigglypuff, Isabelle, that weird mailman guy that delivers Link's mail... the list goes on and on.
"Pardon me, mate," Dingodile said to Sephiroth as he entered the arcade room, handing a gift to the one-winged angel. "Mind handing out this gift to Banjo?"
"You mean the idiotic bear?" inquired Sephiroth, who still felt pretty insulted after his encounter with Banjo last week. "Who is this gift from?"
"It's from...let's just say it's from you." Sephiroth furrowed his brow, as the buddy cops were silently cooing. "Would say it's from me, but Banjo barely even knows who I am, so..."
"If that is the case, then why even bother buying him a gift?" Dingodile remained steadfast, refusing to leave until Sephiroth agreed to give Banjo his present.
"You saw the magic that was created when Sonic gave his Secret Santa gift to Crash," Toon Link said to Sephiroth, who looked over and saw Sonic and Crash being best buddies again. "You can create that magic yourself - and learned the true meaning of Christmas in the process!"
"Fine then, I suppose..." So Sephiroth accepted the gift from Dingodile, hoping to give the gift as soon as possible. "...but where and when do I give this gift?"
The perfect occasion for Sephiroth was the Christmas party, which was taking place in the gaming room. Several guests were invited - the Champions of Hyrule, the Three House lords, and Rayman and friends to name a few. Even Teensy was present, as Cloud came through for the little fella.
"Enjoying the party, you two?" Revali asked Enderman and the Doomer Slayer, who were chilling in the back away from all the fun. The Rito walked away when he was met with no response. "This is what I get for starting small talk..."
"Boxers for briefs, my ma?" Professor Kukui asked Vault Boy, drinking from a cup of fruit punch; Vault Boy just gave the professor a thumbs up and a wink. "I'll take that as a yes!"
"Does anyone want to try out my coconut balls?" Schezo asked the partygoers, as he was holding a plate of coconut balls. Globox ran past the mage, accidentally knocking his plate unto the floor. "OH NO, MY BALLS!"
"So...this is the Christmas party," Sephiroth said to the buddy cops as he arrived at the gaming room, observing the party scene. "Where is the bear?"
"Right over there," Young Link pointed, as he saw Banjo and Kazooie speaking with Booker DeWitt and his lady friend, Elizabeth. Sephiroth advanced towards Banjo, being mindful of anyone in his way.
"How long have you two been dating?" Banjo asked Booker and Elizabeth, with the former being very much annoyed by the question. Elizabeth smiled, as he saw Booker tightening his fists.
"We are only good friends," replied Booker, before leaning in close to Elizabeth and whispering, "I knew we should've turned down Lucario's invite...too many instigators at this party."
"Leave the talking bear alone, he just doesn't know," Elizabeth whispered back, as Sephiroth finally caught up to Banjo. Sephiroth tapped Banjo on the shoulder, as the bear turned around to see the one-winged angel.
"Hope I am not intruding upon your conversation," Sephiroth said to Banjo, who was pretty excited to be speaking the one-winged angel again. "This might not mean much, but I have come to offer you...a gift."
Sephiroth presented his Christmas gift to Banjo, as the Christmas party came to a halt. K.K. Slider, the party DJ, immediately stopped the music as everyone focused their attention on Sephiroth.
"Sephiroth is giving someone a Christmas gift?" said an amazed Cloud, wondering if the buddy cops made the one-winged angel come around. "This should be pretty interesting."
"A Christmas gift, for me?" squealed Banjo as he accepted the gift, before taking a gander at the name tag on it. Which Sephiroth had overlooked. "'To Banjo.' Aw, how nice!"
"Just open it..." commanded Sephiroth, wanting to get things over with. So Banjo unwrapped his present, which turned out to be...a Kenny Omega t-shirt. One that was fit for him. Banjo's eyes nearly came out of their sockets.
"Golly! Kenny Omega himself gave me one of his merchandise as a Christmas gift!" Banjo hugged the shirt real tight, as Kazooie facepalmed. "Thank you, Mr. Omega! You're the best wrestler there is!"
"Banjo for the last time, Sephiroth isn't..." Kazooie was about to clarify for Banjo, but instead sighed and threw her arms up in defeat. "...I give up."
"Sephiroth actually did something nice for somebody, on Christmas..." marveled Captain Falcon, as Sephiroth suddenly realized that he had the attention of everyone in the gaming room. "...that deserves a round of applause!" Everyone was clapping for Sephiroth, who took it all with stride. Interestingly enough, Pit was the only one who wasn't clapping...and he was a wrestling fan!
Pit: I would applaud Sephiroth, for giving Banjo that Kenny Omega shirt...but Kenny is from AEW! Me, I'm strictly a WWE guy - I'm supposed to shun every other wrestling promotion in existence. And as a WWE guy, it is my civic duty to support the company through thick and thin. WWE could literally carry out a terrorist attack in the Middle East, and I would still give them all the benefit of the doubt.
Dingodile: It was actually Kazooie who got that Kenny Omega - with some help from that Wario bloke. For whatever reason, she couldn't bring herself to give it to Banjo, so she asked me in secret to do the honors. Turns out she asked the right guy...
"Well, Sephiroth? Did you learn the true meaning of Christmas?" asked Toon Link as he and Young Link came over to the one-winged angel. Sephiroth looked over at Banjo, seeing how delighted the bear was.
"I see now..." replied Sephiroth, as the Christmas party quickly picked up right where it left off. "...the ability to give up your own self, and to think of others and bring them happiness...that must be the true meaning of Christmas. That must be why so many people cherish it so."
"DING, DING, DING! You got it!" exclaimed Young Link as Cloud, observing from a distance, took out his phone to call someone. "Bet you feel like a million bucks right now." Sephiroth only had a neutral feeling, in all honesty.
"Hello? Barret?" Cloud spoke into his phone after Barret answered the call. "Yeah, it's about Sephiroth...I think he's slowly starting to come around now."
Toon Link: Thank Hylia that it took Sephiroth forever to understand the true meaning of Christmas. Could you imagine if he found out earlier?
Young Link: We could've robbed the documentary crew of a potential episode of Smash Life. But it's not like they enjoy working on Christmas Eve, anyway. Alas, we have to...
Toon Link: I'm afraid you're right, Hutch...justice never sleeps. Now Hutch...
Young Link: Theme music?
Toon Link: No...not this time. Let's go with a Christmas song. What about...Jingle Bells?
Young Link: You got it! *hums Jingle Bells*
