Author's Note:
This chapter features characters from a game that's about to be released soon: Atelier Ryza 2: Lost Legends & the Secret Fairy. I'll be honest with you, I didn't know much about Atelier Ryza, perhaps aside from the main character herself. But I did my best with this chapter. Only one review to answer:
"Is Kadaj and his gang from Advent Children going to show up and cause trouble? Will an Azure Lane chapter happen? A Megadimension Neptunia VII chapter (since it got a limited physical release on Switch). A reference to past shows like X-Play? And finally, will you do a Genshin Impact chapter when the Switch version comes out?"
Doubt it. Next month, perhaps. I did mention doing a Neptunia chapter some time ago, so we'll see. I can do a reference to X-Play (loved that show). And I don't know about doing a Genshin Impact chapter...I don't really care for Genshin Impact that much. Fight me...
Episode 266: Alchemist
Being that he was gone away from the mansion at the time, Cortex never really had the chance to vibe with the Minecraft gang - Steve, Alex, Zombie, and Enderman. Of course, it would be hard for the evil genius to get along with Zombie and Enderman, given that they never spoke (if ever), but Steve and Alex...they were a different story.
Between the two craftsmen, Steve yearned to be Cortex's friend the most. Seeing how Cortex loved to build things, Steve believed that he and the evil genius had a lot in common. And when you have a lot in common, that made being one's friend much easier.
So Steve decided to become Cortex's friend, wanting to get to know the evil genius better. The craftsman would find Cortex in the kitchen, preparing himself some lunch.
"No evil mastermind continues his day on an empty stomach," Cortex said the Uka, who was watching the evil genius put together a ham and cheese sandwich. With an extra helping of mayonnaise. "Nothing like a great ham and cheese sandwich to make your stomach right!"
"A great ham and cheese sandwich...that's laughable, Dr. Cortex," remarked Uka as Steve watched Cortex do his thing from the kitchen entrance. "You can't even fix a bowl of cereal right."
"Excuse me for pouring in the milk first! Not like that makes me some kind of sociopath." Plenty of people would think that way of Cortex, though. "All I have to do now is apply the mayonnaise to both slices of bread...and we're done!"
"What are you doing now?" Uka watched warily as Cortex grabbed his ham and cheese sandwich and placed it in the nearby toaster oven. Uka was now scared of the possibility of Cortex burning the mansion down.
"What does it look like? I'm toasting my sandwich! Sometimes, this toaster oven cooks too slow, so to speed things up..." Cortex took out his trusty ray gun and pointed it at the toaster oven, before firing a plasma shot at it. Only one problem though...
...Cortex had his ray gun on the wrong setting! So when the plasma shot hit the toaster oven, the oven quickly caught on fire. Cortex screamed out of panic and fear, whereas Uka was holding in his laughter.
"Crap, I had that ray gun on the 'set on fire' setting!" panicked Cortex as smoke slowly started to build up in the kitchen. The smoke detectors might be going off soon. "I only use that setting for lighting birthday candles and burning incriminating documents!"
"Where can I find these...incriminating documents?" inquired Uka, hoping to get Cortex busted and sent to prison. Soon Palutena ran inside the kitchen, seeing the toaster oven on fire.
"Not again..." the goddess of light frowned - apparently, stopping small fires in the kitchen wasn't her first rodeo. Palutena quickly grabbed the fire extinguisher and used it to extinguish the fire with ease.
"Dang it, Lady Palutena, why did you have to put out the fire so soon?" Uka frowned at the goddess of light, who let out a sigh of relief as she placed the fire extinguisher back where it was. "I was just about to snitch on Dr. Cortex. There goes some of my evidence..."
Uka: Dr. Cortex makes for an excellent fall guy sometimes. And I'm not the only one around here who knows that - I passed that knowledge on to some of the other folks in the mansion. And even the tower. It's very useful info that can come in handy at times.
Knuckles: Uka told me to blame Cortex for stuff I typically get in trouble for. Ever since I started using Cortex as a designated fall guy, my quality of life has seemingly increased. Finally, I can defecate outside in peace!
"Dr. Cortex, you really need to stop using that ray gun in the kitchen," Palutena advised the evil genius, not wanting to put out another fire. "Don't you remember the last time you used that gun of yours?"
"First off, that 'last time' wasn't even my fault," replied Cortex as he stated his innocence, while Palutena and Uka both scoffed at the same time. "Diddy Kong just got in the way of my English muffin! Was kinda funny seeing his head so gigantic, though. Secondly, my ray gun was on the wrong setting!"
"That's the same excuse you used last time," Uka said to Cortex, who angrily turned around at the floating mask and pointed his finger at him. Cortex was about to say something in retort, but his anger eventually got the better of him.
"Took the words right out of my mouth..." Palutena said with a smirk, as she left the kitchen so she could resume her previous activity. "...just so you're aware, I won't be saving your butt next time."
"No worries, Lady Palutena, I can assure you that I'll have my ray gun...on the right setting...next time..." Cortex lowered his head as he said this, knowing that he would screw things up again in the future. "...oh, what's the point?"
"Hello, Dr. Neo Cortex, my name is Steve," Steve said to the evil genius, ready to make his move as he entered the kitchen. "What are you building today?"
"Steve, I already know who you are, you've introduced yourself for the millionth time now...as for what I'm working on, let's just say I'm taking the day off."
"Very good. Right now, I am building a new house for a family of Waddle Dees outside. Do you care to see my progress?"
"Should I even trust this man?" Cortex whispered to Uka as he looked at Steve, who just stood there with obviously zero emotion. "He's creeping me out, the way he's just...standing there...staring at me..."
"You must be a gigantic wimp if that really scares you," Uka whispered back, always commenting on Cortex's wimpiness whenever the opportunity arose. "That said, I think you should blow that house of his to smithereens. Get your villain mojo back!"
"That does sound villainous - and quite funny at the same time! Good idea!" So Cortex broke away from Uka and reverted his attention to Steve, who may or may not have heard every word spoken by Cortex and Uka. "Sure, Steve, I'll take a good look at your house..."
"Superb! I will start working on it in a few," stated Steve, as he took out his trusty pickaxe. He could never be seen anywhere without it. That, and his sword. "You can come to take a peek whenever you like."
"Oh, I'll be taking a peek, alright..." Cortex rubbed his hands together evilly, as Steve - perfectly oblivious to Cortex's evil scheming - moonwalked his way out of the kitchen. Somewhere, Master Hand was laughing his nonexistent butt off.
Word has it that Cloud was apparently expecting a guest or two to stop by the mansion today. Nobody knew who this guest was - it was a person who had never stepped foot on mansion grounds, nor has ever met anyone from the mansion. Which had everybody guessing.
As everyone waited for this guest to show up, Mario was outside his house doing something he meant to do since Christmas...move out his Christmas tree. Peach stood outside on the backyard patio, holding Jennifer and cheering on for her husband.
"Come on, Mario, you can do it!" Peach cheered on for Mario, who apparently was shedding tears as he dragged his beloved Christmas tree down the steps to the patio. The tears came down even harder as Mario dragged the tree across the patio, to the nearby grass.
"That's it, I can't-a do it no more..." Mario conceded, letting go of the Christmas tree which was only a few centimeters off the patio. Cappy would come off of Mario's head and slapped Mario silly.
"Who the heck cries over a Christmas tree, man?" Cappy questioned Mario, chiding the plumber over being so emotional about some Christmas tree. "Princess Peach has no problem removing the tree, so what's your deal?"
"I dunno...this Christmas tree is like a friend-a to me." A friend that you purchased from Walmart when it was on a discount, perhaps. "Real friends don't let their pals-a go to waste!"
"Mario, if you don't get that Christmas tree off the patio...I'll cancel all your sports subscriptions," Peach said to the plumber, threatening him in the nicest way possible. That struck a chord with Mario, who quickly tossed the Christmas tree off the patio like it was hot trash.
"Phew, glad I got that taken-a care of." No longer caring about the tree, Mario dusted off his hands. "Don't know why I got so emotional..."
Suddenly some loud screaming was heard, as Peony popped out of nowhere with an ax. The explorer was screaming at the top of his lungs as he ran to the Christmas tree and chopped it to pieces, with Mario looking on in horror.
"Peony, what are you doing?!" Mario shouted at the explorer, pulling on his hair as Peony chopped away at the Christmas tree. "This is uncalled-a for!"
"I've been waiting since Christmas to do this!" shouted Peony, showing absolutely no mercy to the Christmas tree. He was chopping away like there was no tomorrow. "Gonna have plenty of firewood soon, Mario!"
Peony: Been trying to prove my worth to Mario, and my precious Nia as well. If I really want to impress Nia, I should present myself more as a leader of men. I might look into having some of those Yiga Clan guys as my underlings; they do seem to enjoy being very submissive.
"Here you are, Mario - plenty of firewood at your disposal!" Peony said to the plumber after he was done murdering the Christmas tree. Mario was still looking on in complete horror. "Might wanna remove the leaves, though."
"How am I gonna make-a firewood out of a Christmas tree?" Mario questioned Peony, who apparently did not think things through. Peony was more concerned about doing Mario a solid. "And I have plenty of firewood-a in the garage already. You just brutalized-a that poor tree all for nothing!"
"Pardon me, but is Cloud Strife at the mansion? I would hate to go inside the mansion, and he's not even there..."
Mario and company were suddenly greeted by a girl, who appeared to be from a foreign land. The staff she was holding, as well as her attire, seemed to suggest as such.
"Oh, sorry for not introducing myself - my name is Reisalin Stout," the girl introduced herself to Mario and company. "But you can just call me Ryza! I'm an alchemist from Kurken Island."
"An alchemist, eh?" said Mario, finding himself lightly intrigued by Ryza as he stroked his mustache. "And you're here to speak-a with Cloud?" Ryza pulled out a letter, which appeared to have Cloud's name on it.
"Yes, he sent me this letter a week ago. Said he wanted to speak with me at the Smash Mansion. Never met him before, but I'm sure he sounds pretty cool!"
"She's gonna be let down real soon..." Cappy whispered to Mario, personally believing that Cloud wasn't as awesome as everyone made him out to be. And Cloud might agree with most of Cappy's sentiments.
"If you want, I can escort-a you to the mansion," Mario offered to Ryza, being the good Samaritan that he was. "The last thing I'd want is for you to deal-a with a bunch of crazies...and trust me, that mansion has plenty."
"Fine with me!" responded Ryza, very eager to meet up with Cloud. Cloud clearly wanted Ryza for her alchemy, but for what reason remained a question. "I've dealt with plenty of eccentrics back home, so the mansion should be nothing for me."
"Oh, you haven't seen-a anything yet..." Mario let out a slight chuckle, before turning his head to Peony and seeing the explorer setting the pieces of the Christmas tree on fire with a lighter. "...Peony?!"
"I was just testing to see how flammable this wood is," explained Peony, hoping that he wouldn't start a wildfire in Mario's backyard. "This is some mighty fine quality right here!"
"Ah, forget it...let's-a go, Ryza, before Peony here turns-a my kitchen sink into a soda dispenser or something." Mario walked away, leading Ryza to the mansion, as a suddenly thoughtful Peony stroked his chin.
"Turning the kitchen sink into a soda dispenser...yeah, I think I can work with that! Gonna need a whole bunch of tools first."
Pit had his small business seminar last week, and Lloyd was the only person in attendance to "purchase" a small business package from the angel. Quite frankly, Pit didn't have a business package to give to Lloyd (said he was still looking for one in physical form), but Lloyd still wanted to follow through with a small business plan. Having spent most of the week brainstorming, Lloyd was ready to pitch his head to Pit.
"Hey Pit, you busy?" Lloyd asked the angel as he came inside the lounge; Pit, Kirby, and Incineroar were all gathered around, playing with a Jenga tower. "Just wanna talk about small business, you know."
"Give me a moment..." replied Pit, as he slowly and delicately pulled a Jenga piece out of the tower. Once the angel piece out the Jenga tower...the Jenga remained where it was! Pit would celebrate by pumping his fist...and his fist hit the Jenga tower and caused it to tumble.
"Aaaaand he did it again," sighed Kirby, watching as all the Jenga pieces fell all over the table, with some landing on the floor. "Pit, can you not pump your fist every time you pull out a Jenga piece?"
"Well, how else am I supposed to do to express my excitement? Do some kind of Riverdance? Or a jig? You and Incineroar would just laugh at me!"
"We have laughed at you enough times already, Pit; we don't have the energy anymore. But you only did it to yourself."
"Yeah, whatever..." As Incineroar put the Jenga tower back together again, Pit turned his attention to Lloyd. "...so what did you wanna talk about, Lloyd?" the angel asked the swordsman.
"That small business package you promised to give me," replied Lloyd, causing Pit to perk up; Pit still had yet to find a small business package, but he was still open to whatever business idea Lloyd had in mind. "I have a business idea that might blow your socks off!"
"Weird, I'm not wearing any socks right now." Pit looked down at his feet and looked at his sandals as if he was expecting some socks to magically appear. "But you can go ahead and blow my sandals off...if it works, that is."
"Cool. So I was watching television on Tuesday, and there was some commercial that I kept seeing almost every other commercial break. It's the one with all those pregnant people dancing."
"Pregnant people dancing...oh yeah, I know the one you're referring to! That commercial's pretty hard to watch, not gonna lie."
"Gotta agree with you on that one. But that commercial, as vomit-inducing as it was, gave me an idea...what if we start our own food delivery service?"
"A food delivery service?" Pit stroked his chin, taking a moment to come around with Lloyd's suggestion. "That sounds very promising, Lloyd!"
"But there's a twist...instead of delivering junk food, like how Grubhub does, we'll only deliver healthy food instead! We'll promote healthy habits, while Grubhub will forever promote obesity instead."
"Grubhub sure does love obesity...would explain why the folks in their commercials are always so fat. And pregnant. Who knew they were that immoral?"
"Lloyd, I can't believe I might be saying this..." Kirby said to the swordsman, finally having a few words he wanted to say. "...but that might be the best idea you ever came up with, ever since I've known you. Bravo."
Kirby: Never would've imagined that Lloyd of all people would suggest doing a food delivery service - a healthy food delivery service, at that. I was pretty skeptical when Pit told me that Lloyd bought that small business package, but maybe I might put that skepticism to the side...
Lloyd: I'm doing this food delivery service to gain the respect I've always wanted from my peers. Nobody's gonna call me stupid, dumb, and silly ever again! Also, I want to be known as the most unique Irving around. That one Irving in the NBA is providing some pretty good competition.
"Thanks, Kirby! Really means a lot coming from you," Lloyd said to the pink puffball, who was optimistic that Lloyd's food delivery service would be a success. Provided that the swordsman didn't act out of line, of course.
"Well, Lloyd, we can get rolling whenever you're ready," Pit said to the swordsman, as he wrapped his arm around him. "Got any idea where to start?"
"I asked Anna for some pointers. She recommended that I start up my own individual food pantry, for like storage and stuff. We might need a warehouse..."
Master Hand: Lloyd had gone to Anna asking her for some advice on starting a small business. He thinks he's getting some valuable info, but little does he know that Anna is secretly trying to bring him down! Capitalists like Anna never want any competitors; all they care about is bringing anyone opposing them to the ground, and crushing them underneath their feet. Lloyd will learn real soon.
"Question: where are going to find the food for the pantry?" asked Kirby; finding a good enough food source was a priority to take care of.
"Easy, we can just get the Yiga clansmen to steal food for us," replied Lloyd, as Kirby found himself very hesitant with the idea. "They already steal bananas without ever getting in trouble with the law."
"That's because they only steal bananas from us. And Master Hand, for whatever reason, allows it. He is such a pushover."
"Uka did tell me one day to use Cortex as our fall guy," commented Pit, who was willing to throw poor Cortex under the bus if the moment called for it. "So if anyone from the Yiga Clan gets busted...just blame Cortex!"
"Right! And the Seattle police would still arrest Cortex anyways, villainy aside," stated Lloyd, seeing that his master plan was slowly coming together. "It all works out perfectly!"
"How about we just find a place to store our food first?" suggested Kirby, not wanting any food to be stolen from anywhere. "Can't afford any trouble..."
Fox and Falco's trip to Edge was interesting, to say the least. Obviously, it was their first time being in the city, but the city's vibe stuck with the pilots for many days. There was something about Edge that they just couldn't shake off...something that they couldn't remain silent about forever.
The trip to Edge gave Fox and Falco some conviction...the conviction to go around Seattle, donating money to random city folk. Using the very money that Pit tried to steal from Star Records. The pilots informed Itsuki and Ayaha, as well as their clients, that they were going around Seattle doing their donations - and gave them a stern warning not to contact them. Yes, they were that serious.
Fox: Walking around in Edge with Cloud was a real eye-opener...gave me and Falco the perspective of what being poor was like. Riding around in a regular truck throughout the city really hit different when everyone looking so depressed. I kid you not, they make the people living in Seattle look like a bunch of happy little Smurfs. Maybe I'm just exaggerating, but our experience in Edge gave us some motivation to make a difference in our communities. *holds up a stack of cash* Dolla dolla bills, y'all.
Fox and Falco went to their first house, with Fox knocking on the screen door. The front door was opened by a middle-aged man, who didn't know whether to feel disgruntled by some unwanted company or worried that a fox and a bird were standing on his doorstep wearing clothes.
"Good evening, kind sir!" Fox greeted the man, who was already done with the pilot - and done with life, on top of that. "My friend and I just wanted to stop by and..." The man slowly closed the door, not wanting to hear another word from Fox. "...no, wait, give us a chance!"
"Why should I?" asked the man as he begrudgingly opened his door back. Fox dug into his pockets and pulled out some money, showing it to the man. "Should I even be enticed by that?"
"Bruh, he's literally offering you free money," Falco said to the man, as Fox was holding out the money. All the man had to do was open the screen door and take the money...yet he remained disgruntled.
"I don't want any of your money, okay? I'm trying to homeschool my kids. My wife would do it herself, but the kids left her infuriated."
"Sooooo you don't want the money because you'd rather homeschool your kids?" inquired Fox, angering the man to the point where his face was turning red. "And because your wife has zero patience? Thank goodness she's not a schoolteacher!"
"She runs a daycare, thank you very much...now leave me alone, please, so I can go back to teaching my kids about astronomy."
"You could use that money to get your kids in college," Falco suggested to the man, who was still showing no signs of giving in. "Maybe one day they can pursue an astronomy degree!"
"Thanks, but no thanks. I gotta go now...I can hear my wife calling for me. That nagging woman..." So the man slammed the front door on Fox and Falco, turning down the money. A thousand dollars rejected...
"Must not want his kids to even go to college...he must be one of those parents that don't want their kids indoctrinated. Can't say I blame them. Would explain why his kids are homeschooled."
Mario brought Ryza to the mansion, and to the plumber's dismay, Cloud was nowhere to be found. Rather than wasting time searching for Cloud, Mario kept Ryza in the gaming room.
"Sorry that Cloud refused-a to be here," Mario apologized to Ryza, believing that Cloud was setting a very bad example for others with his assumed absence. "That man sure sucks-a at commitment...don't tell him I said-a that."
"If that's the case, then I sure feel bad for his girlfriend!" remarked Ryza, as she was taking in all the sights and sounds of the gaming room. "If he even has one, of course. Is he dating?"
"There's this one-a lady, Aerith, that he secretly has the hots-a for. But he won't ever admit it in-a public. Shows you just how non-committal he really is!"
"Hey, Mario, who's that girl sitting next to you?" Ness asked the plumber as he and his friends, Paula and Poo, approached Mario and Ryza. "Did she get lost somewhere in town?"
"No, she was supposed-a to meet with Cloud today. Frankly, we haven't seen-a him yet. Ryza, why don't-a you say hello to Ness, Paula, and Poo here?"
"A pleasure meeting you all!" Ryza greeted Ness and company, standing up from the couch as she gave the trio of friends a smile. Poo's eyes were deadlocked on Ryza...but more specifically her lower body.
"You have on some pretty short shorts," Poo said to Ryza, hoping that his comments didn't creep out the alchemist too much. "Not that I'm complaining, I-I mean, I certainly don't mind..."
Poo: I'm not that much into romance yet, but if you were to ask me, I prefer my ideal woman to be extra thick. Sadly, I can't ever admit that out loud, out of the fear of being judged. Why do men have it so bad compared to our obviously better female counterparts? *pauses* Did I just say better?
"Keep that to yourself, Poo," Mario sternly told the kung fu artist, who was still staring at Ryza's lower body. Poo just couldn't look away from Ryza's thighs. "I'm sure Ryza's shorts-a are acceptable, from wherever she's-a from."
"I love thick thighs," Poo randomly confessed out of the blue; if Ryza wasn't creeped out already, she definitely had the right to be now. "I love them thick, like a milkshake...I love all thick thighs, of different kinds."
"Stop that!" Paula scolded Poo as she quickly put her hand over the kung fu artist's mouth, silencing him for good. "Terribly sorry about that, Ryza. As you can see, Poo doesn't really get out as much..."
"I don't get out as much either, except maybe for playing baseball out in the front yard," stated Ness, speaking when Paula clearly didn't want him to. "Doesn't affect me any!"
"You're not helping..." Paula frowned at Ness, whispering to the PSI whiz through clenched teeth. The southern belle uncovered Poo's mouth, as she reverted her attention to Ryza. "...so, Ryza, do you have any special talents?"
"I'm an alchemist," replied Ryza, demonstrating as she dug into her pouch and pulled out a potion. "I can demonstrate for you if you like!"
"She came to the mansion to speak-a with Cloud Strife," Mario explained to Ness and company, who recalled Cloud requesting for a visitor to stop by today. "We haven't found-a him yet."
"Why don't we get this spell a try?" Ryza looked around the gaming room, looking for someone to test her spell on when she spotted Mewtwo hovering by. The alchemist doused the potion on the psychic Pokemon, who came to a sudden stop.
"What the..." frowned Mewtwo, as he saw the potion running down his body...suddenly, a bunch of sparkles started sparking off of Mewtwo's body, which was slowly engulfed in flames. "..what is this madness?!"
"wow mewtwo, you really must be feeling the burn," Sans said to the psychic Pokemon, as Mewtwo being on fire caught the attention of everyone in the gaming room. Mario, doing Mewtwo a solid, took out his FLLUD and used it to douse water on the psychic Pokemon.
"You okay, Mewtwo?" Mario asked the psychic Pokemon, who was now soaking wet. Ryza, seeing the damage she had caused, placed her empty potion bottle back in her pouch. "Good-a thing you weren't wearing any clothes!"
"Silence, Mario; I do not need your unnecessary banter," Mewtwo snapped at the plumber before he soon spotted Ryza. The nervousness on Ryza's face told Mewtwo all he needed to know. "Was it you who did that to me?" Mewtwo interrogated Ryza, hovering over to the alchemist.
"Um...it was an accident!" Ryza expressed her innocence to Mewtwo, who wished to make an example out of the alchemist. "I didn't mean to..."
"Stop it right there!" shouted Poo as he stood in between Mewtwo and Ryza, his arms out to the wide. Mewtwo stared down at Poo, wondering if the kung fu artist knew what he was getting himself into. "You leave Ryza and her thick self alone!"
"I have never heard you call any female human thick, ever. And she's not even that thick. She's hardly curvaceous."
"Why must he be like this...?" Paula sighed to herself, facepalming as Ness shook his head in dismay. Wouldn't be such a facepalm-worthy moment had Poo not address Ryza as being thick.
"Better back off of Ryza, or else!" Poo commanded Mewtwo as he quickly got in a fighting stance. Ryza felt appreciative towards Poo for defending her - although there would be full appreciation if not for Poo's comments.
"Or else what? You'll cut my tail off with a feeble karate chop?" Mewtwo asked Poo, not fearing the kung fu artist in the slightest. "Give me one good reason why I should fear you."
"YOU ASKED FOR IT!" Shouting at the top of his lungs with his defiant battle cry, Poo took his hand and delivered a karate chop to Mewtwo's stomach. Mewtwo just stood there, taking the mostly weak karate chop like a man.
"I have no time for this foolishness..." Mewtwo would leave the premises, having enough of Poo's shenanigans. Poo saw this as a sign of weakness from the psychic Pokemon, giving himself a victory.
"Yes, I did it, I singlehandedly defeated Mewtwo by myself!" cheered Poo as he raised his fists, wanting to pat himself on the back for a job well done. "He was obviously no match for my skill."
"Yeah, you really showed that Mewtwo who was boss," Ness said to Poo, before looking at Paula and circling his finger around his ear to indicate that Poo has gone mad. Paula giggled quietly in response.
Mewtwo: That poor, pathetic Poo thinks he prevailed over me. To defend the "honor" of that girl. Who is going then to ditch Poo sooner or later, eventually that is. Poo will soon learn the hard truth about women, hopefully.
"I think you should-a lay off on those potions of yours," Mario advised Ryza, who promised herself not to fiddle with her pouch again. "At least until Cloud Strife-a decides to show up."
"That's fine with me," replied Ryza, who was now ready to move out of the gaming room. "I would love to look around the mansion until Cloud's here!"
"I shall accompany you, wherever you go," Poo said to Ryza, hoping that the alchemist appreciated the gesture. Ryza did, but she was starting to find Poo's behavior, while kind, to be slightly perverted. "Your thick thighs will be safe with me..."
"Guess that means we're playing tag-along," Paula remarked with a sigh, as Mario led Ryza out of the gaming room with Ness and company tagging along. Poo was being super protective of Ryza, walking in front of the alchemist.
"Hey Mario, is that the girl Cloud wanted to see?" Yoshi called out to the plumber, only for Poo to give Yoshi a death stare that nearly shook the green dinosaur to his core. "Am I not allowed to ask questions around here anymore?!"
If you might recall, there was a family of Waddle Dees that King Dedede sought to find a home for, in episodes 17 and 18. Eventually, Dededede found the Waddle Dees a home, and they stayed in said home...until now.
Because he felt like being a good Samaritan, Steve built a new house for the Waddle Dee family, which was right next to the mansion. Cortex was asked to watch Steve's progress on the house, and so the evil genius was outside watching Steve build the house, with Uka...and King Dedede.
"They grow up so fast..." smiled King Dedede, feeling like a proud papa as he proudly shed a tear. The fat penguin wiped away the tear from his eye, as Cortex looked at him inquisitively before rolling his eyes.
"They practically look the same when I first saw them," stated Cortex, forcing himself to watch Steve put the finishing touches on the Waddle Dee's house with his trusty pickax. "Waddle Dees can't even grow, can they?"
"Bet they grow much faster than you can. You're gonna be stuck as an ugly midget for the rest of your life!" King Dedede pointed and laughed at Cortex, who waved off the fat penguin.
"There. All done!" announced Steve, wiping off the nonexistent sweat from his forehead as the Waddle Dee family's new house was completed. "Steve, would you like to take a picture of the Waddle Dees, with their new house?"
"Don't have to ask me twice!" King Dedede squealed as he rushed inside the mansion to fetch his camera. With King Dedede gone momentarily, Uka hovered over to Cortex to ask the evil genius a question in secret.
"Still thinking about destroying that wretched house?" whispered Uka, seeing that the Waddle Dees' new house was made out of Minecraft blocks. Perfect for any kind of destruction. "It's never too late..."
"Yes, I've been thinking about it," replied Cortex, and the fact that he was thinking about it upset Uka greatly. Soon King Dedede came speeding out of the mansion with his digital camera.
"Waddle Dees...ASSEMBLE!" King Dedede shouted at the family of Waddle Dees, unleashing his inner Tony Stark. Or Captain America. The Waddle Dees, doing as they were told, assembled right in front of their new house.
"Now, Dr. Cortex, destroy the house with your ray gun!" Uka commanded the evil genius, as King Dedede got himself in a picture-taking position. "You know what they say...most people look cool with an explosion behind them!"
"I dunno, Uka, this is too wholesome of a moment to ruin," replied Cortex, opting not to use his ray gun, as Uka gave the evil genius a double-take.
"Say cheese...BLAM!" said King Dedede, before shouting as he snapped the picture. The fat penguin didn't even let the Waddle Dees see the picture, as he quickly stashed the camera away. "That's definitely going on someone's social media page! Hehe!"
King Dedede: Yeah, yeah, I know I took that photo on a digital camera. But I'm gonna find a way to put that sucker on social media, and ride on the coattails of someone else's social media account! I'll find a way...King Dedede always finds a way. *groans* There I go, speaking in the first person again...
Because he was feeling generous, King Dedede whipped his camera back out and took several more pictures of the Waddle Dee family in front of their house. Meanwhile, three individuals showed up at the mansion - a muscular guy, a young woman with blonde hair, and a bookworm with glasses.
"It appears that we have some company," announced Steve, just when King Dedede took the last picture of the Waddle Dees. King Dedede, Cortex and Uka looked over and saw the three individuals standing by.
"Is this the Smash Mansion?" the blonde asked Steve and company, seemingly designating herself as the leader of the trio. "We're looking for our friend, Ryza Stout...we are her friends."
"That lousy Ryza took off for the mansion when we least expected it!" frowned the muscular guy, wanting to give Ryza a piece of his mind. "She even left her staff behind. What a gal!"
"That wasn't the only thing she forgot, Lent," the bookworm said to the muscular guy, as a mysterious creature appeared from behind him. "Left this Fi behind, too. She was in quite a rush."
"Oh dear, they have one of those mystical creature things..." Cortex fretted when he saw the mysterious creature, the Fi. "...these people must be like those magic nerds that try to impress people with their crappy spells."
"They can still kick your butt regardless," Uka murmured to Cortex, as the Fi sat on the shoulder of the blonde woman. Soon the blonde woman led her friends closer to Steve and company.
"I'm Klaudia Valentz, and these are my friends - Lent Marslink and Tao Mongarten," the blonde introduced herself and her friends, as the muscular guy and the bookworm, respectively, acknowledge Steve and company's presence. "We apologize if we came at the wrong time..."
"No, you came at the right time!" exclaimed King Dedede, as he presented the Waddle Dee's new house to Klaudia and friends. "Get a load of this house! The best house you have ever seen, amirite?!"
"It's literally just a bunch of blocks," Tao offered his critique on the house, leading King Dedede to give the bookworm a death glare. "I mean, what a lovely house! Truly dream house material right there."
"Dang straight! My thoughts exactly!" As King Dedede proudly smirked and folded his arms, the man of the mansion, Cloud, arrived at the mansion on his motorcycle. After pulling his motorcycle up into the driveway, Cloud got off and saw Klaudia and friends.
"I hope those aren't her friends..." the swordsman muttered to himself as he walked to the front yard of the mansion. "...hey, you three! Any of you know Ryza Stout?" Cloud called out to Klaudia and friends, garnering their attention.
"Yeah, we do; we're friends of hers," replied Lent, as Cloud held in a deep sigh. Should've told Ryza in that letter to discourage her friends from coming. "Ryza just took off and left us behind at Kurken Island!"
"Very sorry to hear that." Cloud obviously wasn't that sorry; he would tell Klaudia and friends to head back home to Kurken Island, but he knew that it had taken them in insurmountable effort to reach the mansion. "I'd love to stay around and chat, but I got some important business to do, so..."
"Why don't you three just chill out in the mansion?" Cortex suggested to Klaudia and friends, effectively taking the words right out of Cloud's mouth. "I bet that friend of yours is in there somewhere!"
"Yeah, what he said. Ryza might be in the mansion already. I'll need her for later, so make sure she doesn't leave or anything."
Cloud: Ryza's friends are here...just what I need. Hopefully, when Ryza does her alchemy, her friends won't be in the way. Can't really afford any distractions.
Cortex: I'd like to think that I have some credibility, after my experience as a candidate for man of the mansion. A few times I have helped out Cloud, even though he rarely thanks me. And I still have the utmost respect from my fellow residents! Like when Kumatora gave me her leftovers after dinner - it shows that she truly loves and respects me! Beforehand, she would do that with the Duck Hunt Dog...perhaps he is just as loved equally! If only she would stop giving me Lady Palutena's food, though.
"I reckon that she's enjoying herself in there," remarked Klaudia as she looked towards the mansion before she and her friends made their move. "She better save some of her enjoyment for us!"
"Make sure you three don't break anything in there," Cloud gave this warning to Klaudia and friends as they arrived at the porch, only to be interrogated by the guard dogs Copper and Booker. Cloud then turned his attention to Steve, King Dedede, and Cortex, wanting to give them a message. "You three make sure that Ryza stays in the mansion, got it? I'll be right back."
"I've been meaning to ask...just who the heck is Ryza?!" King Dedede asked Steve and Cortex, shortly after Cloud had left. Both Steve and Cortex didn't know who Ryza was, as they shook their heads.
Fox and Falco were still going around Seattle, giving out money...but the thing was, the pilots had yet to give out a single dollar! They hoped to change their fortunes when they arrived in a different neighborhood.
"Let's try that house over there," Falco suggested to Fox as he pointed at a house in the distance. The pilots went to said house and rang the doorbell, as a young woman opened the door a few seconds later.
"Good afternoon, ma'am!" Fox greeted the young woman, who was hoping that the pilot and Falco weren't a door-to-door salesman duo. Even though they barely even looked the part. "Would you care for some free money?"
"Free money?" the young woman giggled, thinking that Fox was pulling her tail. She was looking around in utter disbelief. "Is this some kind of prank?"
"Does this look like a prank to you?" Fox showed the stack of cash to the young woman, before shaking it in front of her. "Do you want these Benjamins, or do you wanna stay broke forever?"
"I'm not broke...I'm actually working a cozy work-from-home job. I get paid pretty well. So you can keep that money to yourself." Fox scoffed at the young woman, certain that she was half-lying.
"Look at that, Falco, this woman thinks she's too privileged to accept our kind generosity," Fox said to the avian pilot, who shook his head in dismay at the young woman. "Talking about her 'cozy' work-from-home job."
"This girl is capping, straight up," said Falco, having the same amount of skepticism for the young woman that Fox did. "If she got paid as well as she thinks she does, she should be living large right now."
"Why are you still living in this rinky-dink neighborhood?" Fox questioned the young woman, ready to call her out on her bluff. "Shouldn't you be living in some upper-class house, with your front yard gated off?"
"If you don't wanna believe me, then that's fine," the young woman said to Fox and Falco, as she threw her arms up in defeat. "But I'm not gonna accept your money, okay? Just leave me alone. And good riddance." The young woman closed the door on Fox and Falco.
"Too privileged to even accept our money..." Falco shook his head yet again, thinking that the young woman was crazy. "...there must be something seriously wrong with that woman."
"Her parents must not have raised her that well," assumed Fox, as he and Falco walked off the doorstep and down the walkway, heading to the next house. "Some people don't even deserve children."
Klaudia, Lent, and Tao were all in the mansion, hoping to find their friend Ryza soon. The three friends went to the living room, where they met Link and Champion Link
"So, uh, what kind of creature is this guy?" Champion Link asked Klaudia and friends, as he was focusing his attention on the Fi that soared around the living room at free will. "Hope it's not one of those annoying critters."
"He's pretty tame, for the most part," stated Klaudia, as the Fi stopped flying and sat atop Klaudia's shoulder. Klaudia couldn't help but smile in response. "But to tell you the truth, we don't exactly know what he is."
"Heck, this fella doesn't even have a name!" added Lent, before he felt the sudden need to correct himself. "Or is Fi a girl? Sometimes I can't even tell!"
"Like you have any room to talk, Lent? Must we count the number of times you addressed any long-haired man as a woman? Don't make me bring up that shopkeeper incident."
"Hey, I can't help the fact that they don't want to be masculine! They should be following my example, but, I guess they wanna do their own thing..."
Sonic: Cloud is bringing a guest to the mansion, and from what I've gathered from Tails, it's a new face. I know for a fact that Cloud isn't inviting anyone over just to be their friend, that's not him! He won't befriend anyone unless Aerith forces him to. How sad is that?
Sonic, Crash, and Aku came to the living room, where they saw the two Links speaking with Klaudia and friends. Sonic stopped in place, as he gave an attentive ear to the ongoing conversation.
"So you go to college, Tao?" Link asked the bookworm, who nodded his head gleefully. No sane person would ever be remotely happy about attending college, all things considered. "Do you have to pay student loans? Or loans in general?"
"Most of it is pretty free," replied Tao, as the Links thought of the bookworm as one of the luckiest men in existence. Sonic felt pretty skeptical about Tao's claim, thinking that it was too good to be true.
"Pretty free? You guys must have it good from where you came from. Here in this country, anyone who goes to college is always living in..."
"Hold it right there, mister!" shouted Sonic, ready to make his presence known as he pointed at Tao. Almost had the bookworm shook. "You go to college, huh? What's the name of the college you go to?"
"I...I'd rather not say," Tao meekly replied, not wanting to give Sonic any vital information. That only made Sonic even more skeptical of him.
"Rather not say, huh? Then I guess that means you're just making up stories." Sonic then turned his attention to Klaudia, whom he saw holding a flute. "And I bet you can't even play that flute!"
"Um, yes I can...I'm pretty good at it," Klaudia defended herself; she would give Sonic a flute solo, but she had no time for it. "Playing it has gotten me out of trouble plenty of times."
"Oh really? Do you play that flute during a bar fight somewhere, and hope that it makes all the drunk guys just walk away? Not buying it!"
"Alright, hedgehog, I think that's enough out of you," Lent said to Sonic, having enough of his crap as he confronted the hedgehog. Sonic, intimidated by Lent's overpowering size, slowly backed away.
"Wow there! Ease up, buddy, I didn't mean any harm! I was just wisecracking a little, that's all. Isn't that right, Crash? Crash...?"
"Can you let go of my flute, please?" Klaudia implored Crash, finding herself in a tug-of-war battle over her own flute. Crash would win the battle, as he pulled the flute out of Klaudia's hands.
"Crash, give Klaudia back her flute this instant!" Link commanded the bandicoot, who instead started playing the flute. Albeit very horribly. "Don't make me say it twice!"
"Stop playing that flute, Crash!" Aku commanded the bandicoot, who immediately did as he was told as he stopped playing. "Now give it back to the young lady. Be nice!"
"Sure, go ahead and listen to the floating mask instead..." mumbled Link, as Crash returned the flute to Klaudia. There was spit all over the mouthpiece.
"A lot of saliva on it, but thanks anyway," Klaudia thanked Crash, with a smile that was terribly forced. "Maybe Ryza might know how to disinfect this flute..."
"Ryza? Why does that name sound familiar..." wondered Champion Link, stroking his chin as Klaudia and friends immediately perked up. "...isn't that the alchemist that Mario was telling us about?" Champion Link asked Link.
"That would be her," replied Link, making Klaudia and friends all giddy. Fi was happy, too. "She might still be with Mario and Ness' friends."
"Sounds like Ryza is really getting around in the mansion," remarked Lent, who wasn't that surprised - Ryza was the kind of gal anyone could get along with. "You two mind taking us to wherever this Mario person is?"
"Sure thing; Champ and I will lead the way." So Link and Champion Link led Klaudia and friends out of the living room, as Sonic, Crash, and Aku looked on.
"That kid with the glasses looks too young to even be in college," Sonic had this to say about Tao, still believing that the bookworm was making up tall tales. "His parents must've paid really big bucks for him!"
"He could be a prodigy, for all we know," assumed Aku, as Sonic found that to be just as true as Tao's claim about attending college. Suddenly Fi, the mysterious creature that accompanied Klaudia and friends, soared over to Sonic.
"Woah! Hey there, little guy!" Sonic was startled by Fi, taking a few steps back. "Aren't you supposed to be with your pals?" The Fi sat atop Sonic's head, before lying down in a napping position.
"I think he...or she...wants to be your friend." That appeared to be the case, much to Sonic's slight chagrin. Sonic looked at Crash, who smiled at the idea of Fi being Sonic's buddy.
"Just what I needed...some cutesy fantasy creature wanting to be my friend." Sonic sighed, as he had no choice but to keep Fi around. "...if this thing turns into a monster and swallows me alive, I'm blaming you guys."
Pit and Lloyd were in the storage room, looking for any kind of space in the mansion for a food pantry. Accompanying them were Kirby and Incineroar, who were both interested in seeing how Lloyd would get his business idea off the ground.
"During my brainstorming, I was thinking of a way to promote the food delivery service around town," Lloyd discussed with Pit as he and the angel were moving stuff around in the storage room. "You got any good suggestions?"
"Why not a local commercial campaign?" suggested Pit, as Lloyd was relatively open to the idea. "Just kidnap the guy who does the Geico commercials, and then just go from there!"
"Pit has mostly suggested either thievery or kidnapping..." Kirby whispered to Incineroar, daring not to question Pit's thought process. "...would be tragic if he became Lloyd's downfall. Huh, never thought I would say that."
Pit: If there's one thing certain in life, it's that Geico rarely misses with their TV advertisements. Haven't missed since they first started the company, I bet. Whoever's in charge of their advertising campaign must be the richest person on earth. And the luckiest!
"But Geico does insurance - we're strictly about food," stated Lloyd, after taking a few seconds to really mull over Pit's suggestion. "Whoever we get would be completely out of their league!"
"True, but Geico has an excellent track record on television," said Pit, as Sora and Kairi curiously entered the storage room, looking around. "Their magic can work for small businesses, too."
"What's going on around here?" Sora asked Pit and Lloyd, as he and Kairi see how different things looked in the storage room. It was perhaps the neatest that Sora had ever seen it. "A little too early for spring cleaning, don't you think?"
"We're just making some room for a potential food pantry," replied Pit, confusing Sora and Kairi since they knew about the food pantry near the kitchen. "One for Lloyd's food delivery service!"
"You're starting a food delivery service, Lloyd?" Kairi asked the swordsman, who proudly smirked and nodded his head. "That's great! But, um...what exactly is a food delivery service?"
"Yikes, Bowser was right, you really are that sheltered...a food delivery service is this thing, where you deliver food to people. Most of the time, it's because people are lazy."
"Or because they despise dealing with other people...lousy cowards," added Lloyd, doing his best not to throw any shade. "But unlike all those posers out there, my food delivery service will be giving out healthy stuff!"
"Then how are you gonna make money?" Sora asked out of curiosity, and Lloyd took that as a slight insult. "From what I've seen, personally, people only spend their money on junk food."
"That's because they're stupid. And insane. But once my food delivery service gets rolling, those stupid people will finally see the light!"
"Okay Lloyd, it's not that serious. I was just asking a question...you don't have to make this a thing about good versus evil."
"My food delivery service will be a light, that pierces through the darkness that is mankind's stupidity. Once everyone get a taste of my healthy snacks, they will see that..."
"Lloyd, we get it...you really want to make a difference," Kairi said to the swordsman, making him shut his mouth for good. "You can save that speech for another time."
Master Hand: I have zero faith in Lloyd's food delivery service, and for three reasons. One, it's Lloyd. Two, Lloyd asked Anna of all people for small business advice - he's literally asking to be sabotaged. And three, most people in this city can't eat healthy to save their lives. We're 97th in the country in terms of obesity! 97th! That's pathetic!
Pigma: *appears from behind Master Hand* Soon to be 96th. *points at camera* We're coming for ya, Portland!
"Pit, don't you still have that food truck from three years ago?" Sora asked the angel, as he was jogging his memory. "The same one that you and Meta Knight used to sell those cheesesteaks?"
"You mean those Pikachu Cheesesteaks? Yeah, I remember!" exclaimed Pit, who had some pretty fond memories of selling Pikachu Cheesesteaks at the front of the mansion. Meta Knight had no fond memories to speak of. "But we can't sell those, the fad's over with."
"No, I was thinking that you can use that food truck for Lloyd's delivery service! Being that you don't have a vehicle as of yet..."
"Hmm...that could work. Might have to do a little redecorating here and there, but we can make it work! Should be somewhere nearby - Toad might know its location."
"You should drive the truck, Sora," Kirby said to the Keyblade wielder, as he couldn't trust Pit or Lloyd to drive the food truck around Seattle. "You have driven a car before, haven't you?"
"Can't say that I have..." replied Sora, who didn't have much experience to speak of. "...I usually fought against cars more than I did actually driving them." Such was the case when it came to slaying Heartless.
"But you have operated a vehicle before, right?" Sora thought to himself, thinking over the many adventures he's been on. A lot to process in his mind.
"I did operate a giant robot once..." Technically, it was a giant toy robot, but Sora left that detail out for obvious reasons.
"You don't want Sora to drive the truck around," Kairi said to Kirby, who knew better than anyone about Sora's driving experience. Which was incredibly lacking, but understandable for a boy raised on an island. "Unless you want the truck in a car accident."
"C'mon Kairi! You don't have any faith in me, do you?" The assuring smile that Kairi gave to Sora seemed to suggest so. But sure, screw Kairi for looking out for her longtime childhood friend...
"We can help you secure the food truck if you want," Kairi offered to Lloyd, as she was willing to help the swordsman as much as she could. "Just carry on with your planning...and leave the food truck to us!"
"Yeah!" exclaimed Sora, having no idea what he agreed to as he triumphantly pumped his fist. A few seconds later, the Keyblade wielder furrowed his brow as he looked at Kairi. "What, what did you say about the food truck?"
Mario brought Ryza to the arcade room, introducing her to the world of arcade games, and Ness and company were there (mainly because of Poo). Ryza was playing the Space Invaders game...how well was she doing?
"Is this a good score?" Ryza asked Mario, bringing the plumber's attention to the score on the screen...a paltry 200. Mario had to be as nice as possible.
"I'd say that's one of the best-a scores in this mansion!" Mario replied through a relatively forced smile, doing his best not to hurt Ryza's feelings. "Not many people can say that they scored-a 200 points, on their first-a try."
"Really? I must be a natural, then!" Way to give out false hope, Mario...as Ryza was about to start a new game, Knuckles walked back and spotted the alchemist, who happened to catch his eye.
"Nice legs," the echidna said to Ryza, complimenting the alchemist's looks, only to encounter Poo who was angrily glaring at him. "Poo, you tell Rouge what I said, and you're a dead man. I was just being nice!"
"You're a dead man already..." Poo said to Knuckles in a threatening tone, as he got himself in a fighting stance. Knuckles didn't want to fight Poo; he knew that he would cream the kung fu fighter easily.
"Mario and Ryza should be in this room," Link said to Klaudia and friends, as he and Champion Link led them inside the arcade room. To the Hylian's surprise, Mario and Ryza were present. "What do you know...I was actually right, for once."
"Ryza! You're okay!" exclaimed Klaudia as she ran up to the alchemist and hugged her - trampling over Knuckles in the process. The blonde was acting like she hadn't seen Ryza in ages. "Oh, thank goodness you're okay!"
"Of course I'm okay..." Ryza said to Klaudia, as she gently pushed her friend away from her. "...Mario here kept me out of trouble. Saved my butt a few times, here and there."
"So the girl has friends..." Poo muttered to himself, unsure of whether or not he should be delighted or disgruntled by the wholesomeness playing out in front of him. It wasn't until Lent and Tao started embracing Ryza that Poo's disgruntlement increased tenfold.
Poo: I'm not too worried about Ryza's male friends. The muscular one looks like a meathead. And the boy with glasses appears shy - too shy to even stand within ten feet of his crush, I bet. That said, those two will get in my way. They make one funny move... *holds out hand* ...and they'll wish they never crossed with me.
"Oh wow, you guys left Kurken Island just to find me?" Ryza asked Klaudia and friends, never knowing that her pals cared about her well-being that much. "Hope I didn't have you too worried!"
"You practically left the island without warning," Tao said to Ryza, oblivious to Poo sizing him up from the distance. Ness had to pull Poo away. "We had every reason to be worried!"
"You should never leave home without leaving your best friends behind," Lent said to Ryza, hoping that the alchemist learned her lesson. "Best friends always stick together! Pull each other up when they're down!"
"You've always been the motivational type, Lent..." remarked Ryza, as she shared a laugh with her friends. Her laughing would cease, as she realized that something was amiss. "Did Fi come along with you to the mansion?"
"Yes, he...I mean, she...er, he..." While he was confused on which pronoun to use, Lent looked around for Fi's whereabouts. "...huh, where is Fi?"
"Don't tell me you two left Fi behind in the living room," Klaudia frowned at Lent and Tao, who were both too reluctant to answer. Klaudia facepalmed. "Third time today that Fi's been left behind..."
"But Fi is still inside the mansion, right?" asked Ryza, who was growing increasingly panicky; it would suck to lose a cute companion like Fi, especially at a location far away from home. "Mario, is there a way that you can find out where Fi is?"
"We do have a tracking device..." replied Mario as he stroked his chin, thinking that X could be a major help. "...I know a robot friend that can-a be of great assistance."
"No, Mario...let me friend Fi," volunteered Poo, desiring to prove his worth to Ryza and her friends. But mainly Ryza. "This is a noble task worthy for a man of dignity, like myself..."
"Do you even know what Fi looks like, or what he is?" Lent asked Poo, before feeling the need to immediately correct himself. "I mean, what she is? Dang it..."
"I may not know what Fi looks like, or what gender they are...but know this, I can do just about everything, especially if it's for..." Ness and Paula would save the day, grabbing Poo from behind and pulling him away as Ness muffled Poo's mouth.
"Now would be a good time for you to speak with X, Mario," Ness said to the plumber, with Poo fighting out of his and Paula's grasp. "Hurry up and do it, before Poo breaks free..."
Cloud was outside in the front yard, back from...whatever he was doing, and he was making an important phone call. After several minutes of waiting, the swordsman's call was finally answered.
"Vincent Valentine...about time you answered the phone," Cloud said into the phone, sounding mildly ticked off. He could never trust Vincent to answer calls at the most convenient time. "How's it coming along?"
"Marlene Barret is now within the city confides," replied Vincent - seemed like Marlene was finally on her way to the mansion. Too bad Master Hand prevented her from coming before today. "We are on our way to the mansion."
"Great. You brought the personal records just in case, didn't you?" Cloud was soon met by silence on the phone after he asked his question. "Vincent?"
"My apologies, Cloud...apparently this taxi ran out of gas, somehow. The taxi driver wants my help with...whatever it is, so I'll have to put you on hold."
"Fine with me. Take your time." So Cloud was put on hold, and during his wait, the swordsman observed the Waddle Dee family's new house, built by Steve. "Pretty nice house...figured they would get an upgrade."
"Alright, Uka, I'm going to destroy the house!" Cortex said to Uka, garnering the attention of Cloud who immediately furrowed his brow. Cloud saw Cortex and Uka approach the Waddle Dees' house, the former armed with his ray gun.
"Yes Dr. Cortex, do it, DO IT!" Uka enticed the evil genius, wanting nothing more than to see the Waddle Dees' house go up in flames. "Show those cute little critters what you're made of! Why did I say 'cute'?"
Uka: Cortex needs to destroy that house. I need Cortex to destroy that house. My image around the mansion depends on it! Mostly.
"But Uka, I can't - those precious Waddle Dees are in their house!" Cortex said to the floating mask, showing some early signs of reluctance. Uka looked up at the heavens and sighed, wondering when Cortex got so soft.
"Why do I have to do everything myself..." grumbled Uka as he floated inside the house, and scared the Waddle Dees out of their home. The poor Waddle Dees were left shaking in fear, as Uka floated out of their house. "There, now you can destroy their putrid house."
"Here goes nothing..." Very reluctantly, Cortex held up his ray gun and pointed at the house, before he realized something. "...oh my, I forgot to charge my ray gun! I can't destroy the house on low ammo."
"I literally saw you fully charging your ray gun a few minutes ago." You can't really tell falsehoods with Uka mostly following you around. "Enough with the excuses, destroy that house!"
"Now hold on right there..." said Cloud, having heard enough as he made his way over to Cortex and Uka...only for King Dedede to run by and push the swordsman to the side. Judging by the look on his face, King Dedede was very angry.
"What's this I hear about destroyin' houses?!" the fat penguin frowned as he marched over to Cortex, pulling the evil genius up by his collar with both hands. "Tell me I wasn't just hearing things!"
"I-It was his idea!" said Cortex as he pointed at Uka...who was nowhere to be found. Cortex looked around, panicked as ever, as King Dedede grew angry. "It was...Uka's idea..."
"I'm not buying it! You're gonna get what's coming to ya, doc!" Letting out a scream of rage, King Dedede twirled Cortex around multiple times, before tossing the evil genius over Cloud's head and into the nearby lake. Cortex landed right on the water surface, before sinking into the lake.
"Oof...that's gotta hurt," remarked Cloud, having some sympathy for Cortex as King Dedede proudly dusted off his hands. As King Dedede checked to see if the Waddle Dee family was okay, Cloud heard something from his phone.
"Cloud, I'm back...we're back on the road again," Vincent said to the swordsman, who was now relieved. "We should be arriving pretty soon."
"Okay then, I'll be on the lookout. Thanks for everything, Vincent." Marlene was set to join the mansion, albeit much older than what many residents were used to. The reactions might be amusing...
Fox and Falco were in a different neighborhood, still waiting for anyone to accept their money. The pilots walked up to a house, with Falco ringing the doorbell.
"Got a really good feeling about this one," Falco said to Fox, as the front door was opened by an old man. Should be an easy one. "Hello sir - may I interest you with some cash?" Falco asked the old man.
"What was that? I can't hear you," the old man shouted, spit particles flying out of his mouth as he adjusted his hearing aid. "My hearing aid's been on-and-off today."
"You have got to be kidding me right now..." Falco said to himself, mustering all the strength to deal with the old man cordially. "...do you want some money?"
"Honey? You're asking me if I want some honey? I already have plenty in the cabinet." Falco was so incensed with the old man that he wanted to pull his feathers out. "But I could use some cinnamon, though."
"Take it easy, dude - respect your elders," Fox said to Falco in a calming manner, as the old man adjusted his hearing aid yet again. "This guy might be a grandpa. Do you really want to throw hands with somebody's grandpa?"
"Wouldn't be my first rodeo..." replied Falco, letting all of his anger vanish away as he was ready to speak with the old man again. "Good sir, how would you like to be rich? Erm...slightly rich?"
"What did you call my wife just now?!" the old man questioned Falco, as he angrily put up his dukes. The only thing standing between him and Falco was the screen door. "Come in here, and fight me like a man!"
"Yeah...now isn't a great time for fighting grandpas, let's scram." So Falco ran away from the front door, with Fox following his head. The pilots definitely messed with the wrong old guy.
"Get back here, I haven't even got a single lick on ya!" The old man was now throwing out punches, left and right. "Come on!"
Ryza and her friends were with Mario in X's room, with X tracking Fi on his tracking device and doing the best he could. Also around were Ness and company, with Ness and Paula having to keep watch of Poo.
"It's okay, Ryza - I'll be there for you," Poo assured the alchemist, thinking that she was all depressed over Fi...when in actuality, she was just more worried than anything. "If you need a hand to hold, or a shoulder to cry on...I'm your man."
"Back off...now," Klaudia said menacingly to Poo, who did as he was told as he backed away. Poo was still fixated on Ryza, though.
Ness: Paula and I tried our best to keep Poo away from Ryza, but we couldn't do anything to stop him. Guess there's no way to step in between a man and his love for a woman. Or in this case, a woman's thighs.
"I think I might've found Fi," announced X as he saw a bright red blinking dot on the radar of his tracking device. Ryza instantly perked up, as she looked over X's shoulder. "Apparently he's in Sonic's room."
"So Fi is still within the mansion? Oh, thank goodness..." responded Ryza as she let out a sigh of relief. She no longer had a reason to worry anymore. "...but who exactly is Sonic?"
"He's just a blue hedgehog that likes to go fast," replied Ness, as the description that the PSI whiz gave was familiar to Klaudia, Lent, and Tao. "He also has an obsession with chili dogs. It's kinda weird."
"It couldn't be that rude hedgehog we were talking to in the living room earlier?" Klaudia discussed with Lent and Tao, as both Mario, X, and even Poo gave the three an attentive ear. "What if he kidnapped Fi when we left?"
"If he did, then he's just asking for trouble," replied X, ready to march down to Sonic's room and set Sonic straight. "He had better be keeping watch of Fi..."
Sonic didn't actually kidnap Fi - he was just keeping the creature around until its presumed owner (Ryza) came to pick it up. For the time being, Sonic kept Fi in the confines of his room, where he had Tails doing some research.
"Found anything about this little guy?" Sonic asked Tails, as he was watching his pet Shaymin play with Fi. Tails was tapping away on his laptop. "While you do that, I'll give him a name...how does Mr. Fluffles sound?"
"You can't just give it a name when we don't even know what its species is," replied Tails, who was hard-pressed to find any info about Fi on the internet. "Or its gender, for that matter!"
"Well, I think it's pretty insensitive to call Mr. Fluffles an 'it'. Way to make him feel valued!" Suddenly there was a knock at the bedroom door. "Come in!"
Entering Sonic and Tails' room was X, accompanied by Ryza, Mario, and Poo. Sonic, having no clue what was going on, looked around confused.
"Sup guys...and some curvy chick that I've never seen before," greeted Sonic, doing his best not to be distracted by Ryza's thighs. "You came to get a look at my new pet? Everyone, meet Mr. Fluffles!"
"Its name is Fi, and it's-a not a pet," Mario said to Sonic, who clutched his pearls when the plumber didn't use the right pronoun. "It's a companion of this fine young lady right here, Ryza."
"You didn't kidnap Fi, did you?" Ryza asked Sonic, who felt like bursting into a laughing fit. The look of concern on Ryza's face made it even harder for Sonic to resist laughing.
"Kidnap him? Why would I kidnap him?" questioned Sonic, as Fi landed on top of the hedgehog's head and lied down. "This guy has been attached to me, and I've been babysitting him ever since. I gotta ask...will he turn into a monster and eat me?"
"You have to give up Fi, Sonic, Ryza wants it back," X advised Sonic; had Sonic been asked to forfeit Fi earlier, he would, but now he was becoming too attached to the creature. "It's not yours."
"But I already named him Mr. Fluffles! Also, Shaymin deserves a friend. Isn't that right, Shaymin?" Sonic looked towards the gratitude Pokemon, startled to see that she was siding with X.
"I mean...it's not like Mr. Fluffles belongs here," Shaymin offered her two cents on the situation, with Sonic disgruntled that the gratitude Pokemon wasn't sticking up for her owner. "Not to mention that he has a friend already."
"Our thoughts-a exactly, Shaymin," Mario said to the gratitude Pokemon before turning his attention to Sonic. Sonic became possessive of Fi, grabbing the creature off from his head and holding it real tight. "Give up Fi, Sonic!"
"That's Mr. Fluffles to you!" Sonic shouted at Mario, only for Poo to confront the hedgehog. "And why do you care?" Sonic asked Poo, who was staring down the hedgehog looking for a fight.
"Either you let go of Fi...or I'll have to do it myself!" Poo commanded Sonic as he got in a fighting stance. Sonic couldn't help but laugh in response. "Let go of Fi...do it for Ryza!"
"Pfft, amateur...are you trying to impress that chick or something? She's a little out of your league." Sonic's words only made Poo angrier...
Pit and Lloyd shuffled a whole bunch of stuff around in the storage room, only to realize that they wouldn't have enough room for a potential pantry. Left with no other viable option, Pit and Lloyd spoke with Palutena about using the pantry already in place for Lloyd's food delivery service...and Palutena obliged!
"Of course, you can use the pantry, Pit!" Palutena said to Pit, sort of wishing that Pit and Lloyd had asked her sooner. "Cilan and I will just separate the food for the mansion, and for whatever Lloyd's got planned. No biggie!"
"Thanks, Lady Palutena, you're the best!" Pit thanked the goddess of light, who smiled in response; Pit could always rely upon Palutena to come through whenever he needed her the most.
"We should start with donating the food items already in the pantry before you get a chance to ruin them," Lloyd said to Palutena, as he quickly drew the ire of the goddess of light. "Um, I mean...ruin them in a good way! Pit, help me out..."
"I would say that you were joking, but I don't think Lady Palutena would buy it. Sorry, Lloyd."
Pit: I'm surprised that we have been eating Lady Palutena's food for as long as we have, and not a single person has gotten food poisoning. Or even died. Which kinda proves my theory that we're all immortal. But I'm an angel, so...I'm immortal already. Ha!
"Pit, Lloyd, Lady Palutena...I got some good news for y'all!" announced Barret as he came down the hallway, with a ginormous grin on his face. "The lady of the hour is finally here!"
"Oh really?" Palutena perked up, as she instantly forgot why she was so angry with Lloyd for. Barret had everyone's full attention. "Why don't you let us see who this lady is?"
"Glad you asked!" Barret, still grinning, looked down the hallway and beckoned to someone far away. "Alright, Marlene, come and make your way down!"
Soon a woman - one who appeared to be in her mid-twenties - came walking down the hallway, as she soon came to a stop when she reached Barret. Pit, Lloyd, and even Palutena were in awe, amazed by the young woman's beauty.
"Pit, Lloyd, Lady Palutena...say hello to my baby girl!" Barret said to the three, as the young woman smiled and waved. Out of the three individuals, Pit was in awe the most.
"Oh wow! I didn't know you had another adopted daughter, Barret," Pit said to the terrorist, before coming to his senses as he recognized the young woman. "Wait a minute, is that...Marlene?"
"Yup, it's here! Kinda hard to believe, but she has grown a lot since she was last at the mansion. Not that I'm complaining. Still wish she was my sweet little girl, though!"
"Nice seeing you again," Marlene smiled at Pit and company, grateful that none of them reacted negatively to how much she had grown. Pit was lowkey checking out Marlene, which Barret didn't appreciate.
"I have to say, Marlene, you filled out nicely!" Pit said to the young woman, admiring how grown she was, only for Barret to frown at him. "Am I not allowed to compliment your daughter, Barret?"
"First off, Marlene isn't doesn't even have a round figure!" replied Barret, as Pit had no idea what having a round figure meant. "Secondly, that compliment would've been more acceptable if you were Marlene's embarrassing uncle! Are you her uncle, Pit?"
"Well, no...but you aren't even Marlene's father...biologically speaking, that is, so..." Barret got even angrier with Pit, as he angrily confronted the angel. Luckily, Palutena stepped in-between Pit and Barret.
"Pit, why don't you and Lloyd go look for a vehicle or something?" Palutena asked the angel, with a smile that was telling Pit to run away while he still could. "For Lloyd's, erm, food delivery service..."
"Oh yeah - Sora and Kairi have to find us that food truck!" Pit ran down the hallway, with Lloyd following after the angel. "Thanks for reminding us, Lady Palutena!"
"Don't worry about Pit, Barret...I'll make sure that he stays in line," Palutena told the terrorist, letting out a sigh of relief as Pit and Lloyd left.
"Much appreciated, Lady Palutena!" smiled Barret, who wondered how Palutena could even deal with Pit without losing her marbles. "I know he's got a girlfriend already, so I better not see him sniffing around my Marlene!"
"You worry too much, dad..." Marlene said to Barret as she, Barret, and Palutena shared a light-hearted laugh together.
With Marlene now at the mansion, Cloud was up on the sixth floor of the mansion getting Marlene's room nice and tidy. Marlene happened to share the room with Aerith, who was watching Cloud fluff some pillows.
"You're a pretty good fluffer, Cloud," Aerith complimented the swordsman, who was unsure of what to make of those comments as he kept fluffing away. "Must be a natural!"
"It's really not that hard to do," replied Cloud, being humble as he ever was as he tossed the pillow on Marlene's bed. "It's not really anything that requires a whole lot of practice."
"Uh, Cloud, you busy?" Sonic asked the swordsman, standing in the doorway of the room. Cloud and Aerith looked up at Sonic, with the latter gasping when she saw a few bandages all over the hedgehog's body. "That guest of yours is..."
"My goodness, Sonic, what happened to you?" Aerith asked the hedgehog, who was feeling some slight pain in his arms and legs. "You look pretty beat up."
"Poo kicked my butt...all because I was apparently holding some alchemist's companion 'hostage'. Also, I might've heard the alchemist say that she wanted to speak with you, Cloud?"
"You must be talking about Ryza Stout," said Cloud; he was fearing Aerith asking him if he invited Ryza to the mansion just to befriend her. "Tell her I'll meet her in the lounge."
Sonic: Sorry you couldn't have Mr. Fluffles as your new best friend, Shaymin. Maybe next time, amirite?
Shaymin: I kinda like his original name more, Fi. It kinda fitted him more.
Sonic: *frowns* Just like the others, you have poor taste...
Fox and Falco made it back to the mansion, and the pilots were feeling pretty accomplished. Did they actually give away ten thousand dollars, as they promised they would? Only one way to find out...
"What are you boys so happy about?" Bayonetta asked Fox and Falco, whom she saw in the foyer. Fox and Falco looked like they were celebrating, giving each other dap a few times.
"Falco and I just gave away ten thousand dollars," Fox bragged to Bayonetta, who had every right to be skeptical of the pilots. "Ten thousand big ones, given away to the lovely people of Seattle!"
"Might I ask who in particular you gave this money to?" Fox was too reluctant to answer this question, but he decided to answer it anyway.
"We wanted to give the money to some middle-class folk, but they wouldn't accept our money for some weird reason. So we gave the money away...to the homeless people living in the Jungle."
"The Jungle, you know, that place near Interstate 5," Falco clarified for Bayonetta, who found herself laughing. Which bewildered Falco. "What's so funny?"
"You realize how many crackheads reside in that trash heap? You just gave those homeless people money to buy more drugs! Fools!" Bayonetta cackled as she walked away, as Fox and Falco slowly realized the damage they had done.
"Well, Falco, today was a Pyrrhic effort..." Fox said to the avian pilot, feeling accomplished and defeated at the same time. "...told you we should've given out the money at Edge. Those folks would've appreciated it more."
Master Hand was eager to see the older Marlene, and the giant hand finally got his wish when Barret brought his daughter to Master Hand's room. Master Hand was inspecting Marlene all over, as Marlene did her best to remain still.
"She looks good..." commented Master Hand, before bringing himself closer to Marlene. Some sniffing sounds were heard, and neither Barret nor Marlene knew where they came from. "...and she smells good as well. This is definitely Marlene!"
"You know how I smell?" questioned Marlene - something she totally didn't think was creepy at all. Master Hand likely had a scent for every mansion resident. "That is...so like you, Master Hand."
"Much agreed!" Master Hand floated over to Barret, having something to say to the terrorist. "Mr. Wallace, you have done a swell job raising your daughter. The other dads could learn a lot from you."
"I must be some kind of model parent, huh?" smiled Barret, happy to know that he was potentially setting an example for others to follow. "Looks like I've already made my mark!"
"That's more than what most people around here can say...but, we won't speak of such individuals. Now tell me, where's Cloud?"
Cloud was in the lounge, handling some business with Ryza - who was rejoined by her companion, Fi. Klaudia, Lent, and Tao were in the lounge, watching Ryza do her alchemy thing.
"Next, we'll take the spirinite, and the quartz necklace, and mix those two together," demonstrated Ryza as she took the two materials, and used a bunch of alchemy magic to fuse them together. "And...ta-da! We got amberlite."
"Excellent. Put it here in the sack," Cloud said to Ryza, who dropped the amberlite in a sack held open by Cloud. The sack contained a whole bunch of materials that Ryza made through her alchemy. "Think I'm gonna need one more piece of material..."
"I can get you a marblestone! That one requires a royal tilestone and a meltstone. Let me get those two stones out, give me a second..."
Cortex was shivering and soaking wet after King Dedede had tossed him into the mansion lake. The evil genius was stuck at the bottom of the lake until Red the Pokemon Trainer pulled him out from the water. With his fishing rod. Purely by accident.
"Better get inside, and eat some chicken noodle soup," Red advised Cortex, who was walking away wet and shivering from head to toe. Red went back to fishing, as Cortex was soon rejoined by Uka.
Cortex: Why was I such a chicken? I blame those Waddle Dees, their cuteness prevented me from destroying their new house. Why do most of King Dedede's minions have to be so adorable?!
Uka: To tell you the truth, Dr. Cortex, I didn't care if you destroyed that house or not. I mostly came up with that evil plan on the fly, just to see if you would fail.
Cortex: Uka...oh how I could just tear you apart...
Red the Pokemon Trainer: My new fishing rod has some pretty good range! A huge upgrade over my old one, for sure. But if I still keep catching those lousy Finneon, I'm taking the fishing rod back. Those Lumineon aren't any better, either.
The shivering Cortex walked past Pit and Lloyd, who were standing around with Sora and Kairi in the driveway. Parked in the driveway was the food truck that Pit and friends used to sell Pikachu Cheesesteaks.
"Turns out that Toad had that truck parked behind some trees," Sora explained to Pit, as he patted the food truck. "Said he was going to decorate it, too, so it can look all nice and spiffy. Nobody would know the difference!"
"Good work, you two!" Pit said to Sora and Kairi, commending them for their efforts, before looking at Lloyd. "We're making strides, Lloyd!"
"This is gonna be my one chance to prove myself..." remarked Lloyd as he rubbed his hands together in excitement over his food delivery service. "...to prove the others wrong! The world better be ready for the new Lloyd Irving..."
"'The New Lloyd Irving'? That's gotta be a branding thing, right?" Lloyd mulled over Pit's question, before shrugging his shoulders. "We'll save that for later."
Ryza was done synthesizing items for Cloud, as she had finished making the marblestone that Cloud needed. The alchemist placed the marblestone in Cloud's sack, as she was finished with her task.
"That's all the materials I will need," affirmed Cloud, closing the sack and tying it in a knot. The swordsman held the sack over his shoulder, as Ryza gathered up all her alchemy materials. "Thanks for coming over and doing this, Ryza."
"Glad I could be of assistance!" smiled Ryza, as Fi curled up beside her in the air. Ryza couldn't leave, without asking one important question she had in mind. "What do you need these materials for again?"
"It's for...something special that I have planned for later." It was so special, Cloud refused to share any sort of details about it. "Maybe one day, you'll see the result. If you ever return, that is."
"We'll just have to see about that." Having asked her question, Ryza turned her attention to her friends. "You guys ready to head back?"
"We've been waiting for you to say those very words!" replied a relieved Lent as he, Klaudia, and Tao got off of the couch they were sitting on. "Let's go - I'm missing out on my Knight Errand duties!"
"Yeah, and I have some college work to catch up on," added Tao, closing the book that he was reading to pass the time. "Can't turn in anything late!"
"You four have a safe trip back home," Cloud said to Ryza and her friends, watching as they left the lounge. Upon leaving the lounge...guess who was the first person that Ryza encountered?
Poo. The kung fu artist stood in front of Ryza, likely having some parting words that he wanted to say. But Ryza couldn't entertain Poo; she and her friends were in a bit of a rush.
"Look, I can tell that you're about to leave," Poo said to Ryza, who was slowly inching away from the kung fu artist. "But hear me out, just this once! All I want to say is, there has been no lady that has allured me like you have. With your good looks and your curves, but most importantly, your..."
"Okay, thank you, goodbye!" Ryza said quickly to Poo as she and her friends hightailed down the hallway. Poo saw Ryza making her leave, as he sighed.
"She would leave right when I was about to mention her most significant feature...some ladies can't handle the truth, I suppose."
"That girl was out of your league anyway," Mewtwo said to Poo as he passed by the kung fu artist, believing that he was proven right today. "You wouldn't even stand a chance..."
Cloud: Ryza sure came through with those materials that I needed. Gonna keep them around in my room until I need them. What will I need them for? You'll just have to wait and see...
