Author's Note:
So, as you already know, I'm a big fan of Crash Bandicoot. And with "Crash Bandicoot 4: It's About Time" being released on the Switch, I decided to write a chapter based on that game. (If anyone asks, the events from the game have already happened in Smash Life.) Arthur, who was supposed to debut as a mansion resident in this chapter, will have his debut pushed back to next week since I didn't have a spot for him. (Still wish I hadn't missed out on getting "Ghosts N Goblins Resurrection" for free.) And with that out of the way...it's guest review time!
"Will Sophia from Persona 5 Strikers show up later on? Are Rex and Nia really going to be a couple? (Presumably due to Pyra and Mythra dumping him to be in Smash). A Death end re;Quest chapter? (Since the game is getting a limited release on Switch). A nod to certain Mario stuff being discontinued like Mario 3D All Stars and the Mario Game & Watch? And finally, what are your thoughts on Idea Factory finally releasing their games to the Switch? (Physically via Limited Run Games)."
We'll see. Rex and Nia will be a potential couple I'll work around with. I may do a nod to Death end re;Quest when the game is released on the Switch. Might even do a nod for all the discontinued Mario stuff. And as for Idea Factory, they have a pretty big collection of games, so releasing them on the Switch is a good opportunity. Another anonymous review:
"Hm, what about a chapter where Zelda or peach invite all of the single fighters to a party to try and hook em up? Drama would definitely break out, one way or another."
Drama would most definitely break out. I might use that idea later on. Another anonymous review:
"BACHELOR/ BACHELORETTE PARTY! THE COUPLES AND MARRIED SMASHERS INVITE THE SINGKE ONES TO A PARTY AND PLAY MATCHMAKER AND AGHRIPELTKGJDJHWGQYUWOPFKCNCNB FJJAOS ISIALNXHAIKmdj"
...is this the same person from the last review? Eh. I like this idea more, so I'll use it. On to IDK you like GF:
"...will we see Nia in her Blade form in the future? And speaking of forms, will we see Midna in her Twili form too?"
Yes, and yes. The latter has been long overdue. Moving on:
"Well, if you want another Gravity Falls-inspired episode, I have one for you. It's "The Golf War", a golf episode with Mabel and Pacifica. I think that episode would fit perfectly for Chrom and Rex to settle their differences. And since we're getting a Mario Golf game in June, it would be a perfect episode for that."
I was gonna attempt "The Golf War" last year, but that never came to fruition. With a new Mario Golf game coming this summer, this year would be a good opportunity. Next is Cloudenstein:
"I guess that anonymous user is right. We should see more of Mini Mementos since it's been like FOREVER since we saw that place. But, yeah, that Shadow Rise thing seems TOO risky. Maybe just focus on usual enemy shadows, because that one's already scary enough."
The last time Mini Mementos was featured was...June 2019. It's been a long time. So yeah, I'll feature it again. And I'll focus on only the enemy shadows. No Shadow Rise. Moving on:
"Also, I'm still waiting for Joker and the Phantom Thieves (and the others) to intervene with Cloud's plan. Maybe have them being aided by...SEPHIROTH? Because Sephy knows a thing or two about Aerith, lmao."
Joker and friends will intervene in the next chapter. Maybe Sephiroth will join in, who knows. On to BowserFan327:
"...I noticed something. We haven't seen much lately. And I think now with the abundance of residents, he might need an assistant. Maybe a certain Ultimate Nurse from Danganronpa? I know that it's a long shot so it's okay."
Yeah, it is kinda a long shot, but I'm somewhat open to the idea. (Even though I barely know much about Danganronpa.) Our last reviewer is Ep. 78 Review, who, well, left a review for the 78th chapter...
"You know, seeing that Leo talking head, I kinda wanted to see his reaction to his own son, Forrest."
Not gonna lie, Forrest looks like the Fire Emblem version of Goldilocks. Won't say if Leo's reaction to Forrest will be featured in Smash Life, but I just wanted to get that confession off my chest.
Episode 273: TimeTravel
At the Academy of Evil, it was the best of times and the worst of times for Dr. Neo Cortex. The evil genius, in his youth, honed his villainous skills during his time at the academy, while perfecting his inventing craft. Yet at the same time, he was constantly picked on by his fellow students - mostly due to his chrome dome head. The N on his noggin didn't help matters, either.
Regardless, Cortex still made a few friends at the Academy of Evil. One of them was Doctor N. Gin, a cyborg who served as Cortex's right-hand man. He was also the biggest kiss-up in existence, so much that he would even make Dwight Schrute blush. Another friend Cortex made was Dr. Nitrius Brio, who helped Cortex with inventing the Evolvo Ray. He and Cortex had a falling out after last year's events.
But there was one companion that Cortex had, who was more of an adversary than anything. The evil genius knew this man outside of the Academy of Evil. He was highly regarded by Uka - sometimes Uka even saw more value in him than Cortex! Professor E. Gadd told Cloud all about this man in the previous episode, and Cloud was anxious to see what he was all about.
"Hey, Cloud! Just wanted to give you an update," Pit called out to the swordsman, who was on his way to the foyer. The angel caught Cloud as he was going down the stairs. "About Lloyd's delivery service."
"Lay on it me," replied Cloud as he and Pit went down the stairs and arrived at the foyer. Given how eager Pit was, Cloud expected some good news.
"We're nearing the $10,000 mark!" Close to the $10,000, in only three weeks of service - Pit and Lloyd were making some very nice progress. "We just need like several thousand dollars, and then we'll be done."
"I'm glad to hear that. You and Lloyd have really exceeded my expectations. Would say the same for Toad, but he just drives the delivery truck around, so..."
Cloud: I don't know how they did it, but Lloyd and Pit made lots of money just delivering food. Maybe I was right to trust them after all. What is the $10,000 for? I won't say what it's for just yet, it's still a secret. Just stay tuned, and maybe you'll find out.
Pit: Honestly, I have no clue what Cloud wants the $10,000 for. But I bet you it's something good. Something grand, even, like a Batmobile! Or even our very own Alfred Pennyworth! If it's anything less than that, I'll be very disappointed.
Lloyd: My delivery service is now the talk of the town! (Or so I think it is - I don't really get out that much, honestly.) My quest to be the most unique Irving in existence is slowly drawing to a close. Unless I pursue a new venture. Might pursue a career in kendo.
Inside the foyer, Cloud and Pit spotted Cortex spending some quality time with his pet goose. Cortex was feeding his goose some birdseed, as Uka looked on with a disgruntled face.
"Who's a good little goose? You're a good little goose!" Cortex said to the goose as he dug his hand through the box of birdseed. The goose pecked Cortex in his face, nabbing the evil genius's nose. "Ow! Be patient, will you?"
"Dr. Cortex, do you still have any friends?" Uka asked Cortex, hating every second that the evil genius spent with the goose. "Watching you exchange with that goose is very disheartening."
"Yes, Uka, I still have friends! Even though I don't talk to them as much as I used to. What does my pet goose have anything to do with it?"
"This is just so unlike you. What so-called evil genius spends time with some dumb pet, and forsakes devising evil plans with their evil companions? You have truly lost your way, Dr. Cortex..."
"And you're still a crabby floating mask that complains about everything, so your words have no merit. Why don't you go back to crying about Kazooie's burping problem? At least that's tolerable..."
"Mention that again and I'll rip you apart from limb to limb..." Uka got up close and personal as he made this threat to Cortex, who shivered in fear. The floating mask would back off when the doorbell rang.
"That must be him," assumed Cloud as he walked over to the front door. Cortex and Uka looked over as Cloud opened the door, seeing a tall man with blue skin standing by. Also happened to wear a time machine over his chest. Cortex and Uka both gasped out of shock.
"C-C-Could it be?!" stammered Cortex, as he and Uka couldn't believe who they were seeing. Obviously, whoever was standing on the porch was a man they knew pretty well.
"Mr. Cloud Strife...a pleasure," the man greeted Cloud, recognizing the swordsman's face right off the bat, as he bowed gracefully before him. "It is I, Dr. Nefarious Tropy..."
"Dr. N. Tropy, you came!" exclaimed Uka, floating over to the man as he just couldn't contain his excitement. Cortex was feeling very salty right now. "Finally, my prayers have been answered!"
"Uka? But if you're here at the Smash Mansion, then that would mean..." N. Tropy would look past Uka and spotted Cortex, his face falling immediately when he and Cortex locked eyes. There was some bad blood between the two.
"Why did you have to be here...?" Cortex asked N. Tropy, with a big frown on his face. Safe to say that the two evil geniuses never got along.
"Honestly I was about to ask you the same question. I see that Master Hand would just let anyone in his mansion, at this rate."
"At this rate? I'll have you know, Dr. N. Tropy, that Master Hand has let me reside at this mansion for over four years! Granted, it took a lot in him to accept me as a person, but..."
"The fact that he even accepted you, to begin with, must be a glaring sign of how far he's fallen. He must have really lost his ways..."
"Alright you two, that's enough bickering," Cloud said to Cortex and N. Tropy, wanting to stall the argument before things got out of hand. "Dr. N. Tropy, did you bring anyone with you?"
"Master Cortex, your favorite assistant is back once again!" cheered a certain cyborg, as N. Gin came running inside the mansion. He ran up to Cortex and gave him a big, fat hug. "Oh, how I missed you, Cortex!"
"I missed you too, N. Gin," replied Cortex, patting N. Gin on the back, as the feeling was hardly mutual. Cloud looked towards N. Tropy, wanting answers.
"Wanted Dr. Brio as my assistant, but he turned down the offer," N. Tropy explained to Cloud, sounding as if he had no other option left for an assistant. "Said he wasn't 'allowed' at the mansion anymore."
"Yeah, Dr. Cortex had something to do with that," stated Cloud, as he left N. Tropy thoroughly surprised. "Brio wanted to blow up the mansion or something, but Cortex stopped him in his tracks."
"Cortex actually did something...and succeeded? Did he need any help?" Cloud was about to mention Widowmaker, but N. Tropy waved him off. "Ah, no bother, we all know what the answer to that question is..."
N. Gin: Cortex and I have been away from each other for so long...we have so much catching up to do! *smiles creepily as he rubs his hands together* I just can't wait to get started with all the fun stuff...
"I don't care about what Cortex did, I'm just happy to see you again," Uka said to N. Tropy, gushing all over the evil genius, as Cortex looked on with a glare. N. Tropy couldn't help but give Cortex a smug look. "You're like my favorite son!"
"Am I not your favorite son?" Cortex asked Uka, wanting some amount of respect from the floating mask. "After all the time we've spent together?"
"Eh...you're more like my bastard son, we'll just leave it at that." Cortex held his head in shame, as N. Tropy cackled at Cortex's expense.
"STAND YOUR GROUND!" shouted Toon Link, yelling at N. Tropy as he and Young Link arrived at the foyer. Cortex perked up. "Stay right where you are!"
"Yes, you two, arrest that N. Tropy!" Cortex encouraged the buddy cops, who marched over to N. Tropy. "Send him to the...slammer." Cortex would trail off when he saw the buddy cops doing a simple pat-down on N. Tropy. Checked his pockets and his ankles.
"Okay sir, you're all good to go!" Young Link informed N. Tropy as he gave him a thumbs up. He and Toon Link looked over and saw Cortex pointing at them with heavy contempt.
"WHAT?! That is not fair!" Cortex growled at the buddy cops, feeling as if there was injustice afoot. "You let N. Tropy off the hook, but you treat me like I'm Charles Manson reincarnated! Why is that?"
"Look, Cortex, do you wanna be arrested for making a false testimony against us?" Toon Link asked the evil genius, with his hands on his hips. "Because we can throw you in jail if you want us to."
"I think you should throw him in jail," N. Tropy said to the buddy cops with a giant smirk on his face - anything to avoid dealing with Cortex during his time at the mansion. Cortex was in shambles.
"Looks like the lanky Smurf man has made the call," said Toon Link as he took out a pair of handcuffs, using them to handcuff Cortex. "Dr. Neo Cortex, you are under arrest for..."
"Oh, shut up, you...just arrest me already!" grumbled Cortex, accepting his arrest as he glared at the smiling N. Tropy and Uka. "I'll get you back for this, N. Tropy, just you wait and see!"
"No way you can do that behind bars," snickered N. Tropy, as he and Uka shared a laugh. Seeing Uka abandon him for N. Tropy really broke Cortex's heart.
"I can't afford to let Master Cortex waste away in jail alone!" wailed N. Gin as he latched unto Toon Link's heel, being dragged across the floor as the buddy cops took Cortex away. "Take me with you! Arrest me, ARREST ME!"
"Have you forgotten who you're working with?" Uka asked N. Gin, using his magical powers to pry the cyborg off of Toon Link and bring him over to him and N. Tropy. N. Gin was left crying. "You can suck up to Cortex another time."
"Yes, you have actually important things to do today," N. Tropy said to N. Gin, before directing his attention to Cloud who was awkwardly standing by. "Cloud, where will we be working at?"
"You can work in our basement, you'll have enough room to operate," replied Cloud, finally getting the chance to speak after seeing all the hoopla that had just unfolded. "Would let you work in the tower's basement, but Dr. Wily would..."
"Yes, yes, I'm well aware of Dr. Wily - he would be causing quite a ruckus if I was anywhere inside that tower. I know he's still salty about that camping trip."
N. Tropy: Dr. Wily was on the list for the camping trip, but Dr. Light talked me out of inviting him. Said that he was worried about Wily strangling him and E. Gadd in their sleep.
"Pit, don't you have somewhere to be?" Cloud asked the angel, who was still around as he was picking his nose. "Like, I don't know...delivering food?"
"Oh yeah - we're so close to reaching our $10,000 goal!" exclaimed Pit, as he suddenly remembered what was on the agenda for him and Lloyd. "Thanks for the reminder, Cloud!" Pit ran out of the foyer so he could round up Lloyd and Toad.
"Pit and Lloyd raised that much money from delivering food?" marveled Uka, as he found himself in complete astonishment. If he had a body, he'd ask N. Tropy to pinch him. But not N. Gin - he didn't trust him. "Must be a food shortage in Seattle that I don't know about."
"Before we head off to the basement, there's something that I need to do," N. Tropy said to Cloud, who was all ears. He was open for anything that N. tropy needed, and then some. "I need to compile...a list."
"What kind of list are we talking about here?" inquired Cloud, having the funny feeling that some of the residents might be involved in N. Tropy's plans.
Due to the events of the last episode, Mario now had a fear of heights after working with Daisy to help rid Luigi of his own fear. Daisy was scared of heights too but eventually overcame it thanks to Luigi's help. But Mario was still frightful as ever.
How scared was Mario, you ask? He refused to go up the stairs, fearing that he might fall from a tall height and die from blunt force. So for the entire week, Mario opted to sleep in the living room, making the couch his temporary bed.
"Dang it, the dumb television's acting up again!" frowned Peony, who was trying to watch a television show on the National Geographic channel. The television kept going in and out at random times. "Mario, is there a way you can fix the satellite?"
"No way Jose - that's-a your problem, not mine," replied Mario, who was comfortably reading a newspaper while sitting on the sofa. Peony grumbled as he left Mario's house to adjust the satellite on the roof, leaving the front door open.
"Oh dear, Lucas got his kite stuck in the tree again," said Peach, as she was looking out through a window in the living room. "You should go out there and retrieve that kite, Mario."
"Why should-a I? If you're so concerned, you should do it, princess." No matter what, Mario refused to go anywhere above ground level. Peach let out an exasperated sigh.
"Help...HELP!" Peony shouted from outside, before yelling and falling inside an open green recycling bin. The lid of the recycling lifted and closed upon impact. "Yup, shouldn't have climbed the storm drain..."
"Peony could really use a ladder right about now," Peach said to Mario, who whistled to himself as he suspiciously walked away. "Please don't tell me that you got rid of our ladder..."
"Dang it! The greatest explorer in the world, trapped inside a recycling bin. Could it get any worse?" It would, as Peony farted inside the recycling bin. Peony moaned afterward.
Peach: I can't believe it, but Mario is actually sleeping on the living room couch! Guess that shows he has all the signs of an obedient husband. But I know he's only doing it because of his newfound fear of heights. Just a few years ago, he'd be perfectly fine with jumping down from a skyscraper - and somehow survive while sticking the landing. Now, he can't even bring himself to climb a simple staircase! I wonder if he would ever use an elevator in his current state.
"I...might've sold-a it to the Yiga Clan, for a couple of rupees," Mario confessed to Peach as he went back to his sofa, grabbing the newspaper he was reading. "Master Kohga said-a they needed a ladder."
"But I thought they had one already," said Peach, under the brief assumption that the Yiga Clan already had a ladder in stock. Perhaps they were accumulating ladders as they have done with bananas.
"Hey, I heard Peony scream just now," Spyro said to Mario and Peach as he exited his room. Peony was still outside, struggling to get back on his feet. "Did he catch Peonia trying to 'run away' again?"
"I'm right here..." Peonia spoke up, as she was in the kitchen looking for a snack to munch on. "...Dad was just trying to fix the satellite on the roof."
"And he's doing it without a ladder? That man needs a ladder, Mario!" Spyro would look towards Mario, who was too reluctant to inform the purple dragon that his ladder was sold away.
"Well, you can fly and all...why don't you fix-a the satellite yourself?" Mario asked Spyro, who instantly saw what the plumber was trying to do. Spyro simply couldn't be fooled so easily.
"Oh, I see what's going on here - you're just trying to deflect yourself from doing any little thing that has to do with..."
"Hold-a that thought, got a phone-a call..." Hearing his phone ring, Mario took out his phone as Spyro held his tongue. "...hello, it's-a me, Mario!"
"Hey, Mario, I need you to come over to the mansion," Cloud spoke over the phone, knowing that Mario was always ready and willing to go. "Need you to do me a favor. I'll explain the details once you..."
"Say no more, Cloud! I'll-a be there in a jiffy." Without even asking what Cloud needed him for, Mario quickly hung up and put his newspaper away. "I gotta go - duty is always-a calling!" So Mario left his house, on his way to the mansion.
"You think that Cloud is aware of Mario's fear of heights?" Spyro asked Peach, who shrugged as Peony remained trapped in the recycling bin.
Before he and N. Gin got to work in the basement, N. Tropy had to fill out a list. As Cloud suspected, it was a list of residents, but only a few names were required. N. Tropy was speaking with Chrom and Lucina in the hallway, with N. Gin and Uka around.
"I've been told that your daughter here has traveled through time before," N. Tropy discussed with Chrom, who was fixated on the evil genius's blue skin. And the whiskers on his face. "Is this correct?"
"That is true - Lucina traveled through time to stop an evil dragon from taking over our land," replied Chrom as he proudly wrapped his arm around Lucina. Lucina gently pushed Chrom's arm away. "So proud of her..."
"Mr. Chrom, I never had the chance to tell you this, but...your daughter is super fine!" squealed N. Gin, as he made both Chrom and Lucina cringe. "Is that also correct?"
"I'm not morally obligated to answer that..." Chrom chuckled sheepishly, as N. Tropy reprimanded N. Gin by smacking the back of his head. Made sure not to rattle the rocket in N. Gin's head too much - who knows what might happen.
"Why does he always have to act like that?" Lucina whispered to Chrom, wanting to run away from N. Gin as far as possible if not for N. Tropy.
"May I ask your daughter for permission to be part of a little experiment?" N. Tropy asked Chrom, smiling and tapping his fingers together with anticipation.
"I think she should give you an answer right now," replied Chrom, grabbing Lucina against her will and pulling her in front of himself. "So, Lucina, my sweet daughter of mine, what will it be?"
"Will he be involved in this 'experiment'?" Lucina asked N. Tropy out of concern as she pointed at N. Gin. N. Tropy took a good look at N. Gin before shaking his head, leaving Lucina relieved. "In that case, I'm down."
"I can assure you that your daughter will be in perfect hands," N. Tropy assured Chrom, giving the prince enough confidence that Lucina wouldn't be harmed. "You can go ahead and run along now!"
"Go out there and make me proud, Lucina!" Chrom pointed at his daughter, making her feel embarrassed, before turning around and walking away. "So great to have a daughter who can time travel..."
Lucina: Considering the kind of man that Cortex is, I'm not surprised that two of his friends growing up include a massive pervert and a man with severe insecurity issues. Is Dr. N. Tropy another friend of Cortex's?...They're rivals? Ah, that makes sense. N. Tropy seems too refined to be Cortex's pal anyway.
"So we have Ness, Sora, Sonic, Young Link, and now Lucina being part of the experiment," stated Uka, peering at a list that N. Tropy was holding in his hand. N. Tropy added Lucina's name to the list. "This is coming along nicely!"
"Agreed, but we need a few more bodies for this experiment to work," responded N. Tropy, before turning around and seeing Cloud walking down the hallway with Mario. "Looks like Cloud came through..."
"So you're fine with using an elevator, but not going up the stairs," Cloud discussed with Mario, who informed the swordsman about his fear of heights. Something that Cloud deemed ironic, the more he thought about it.
"At least-a inside an elevator, I won't have to worry about-a looking down," Mario candidly replied - that water tower incident in the last episode really broke the plumber. Nice going, Jotaro Kujo. "You don't mind my fear of heights, do you Cloud?"
"I certainly do mind using the elevator just to reach the second floor..." Cloud and Mario would come to a stop when they reached N. Tropy and company. "...alright, doc, here's another member of your time-traveling crew."
"Ooh? Time-a travel?" Mario was suddenly interested, rubbing his hands together. N. Tropy knelt at Mario, getting a closer look at the plumber.
"Mr. Mario...at last, we finally meet," the evil genius greeted the plumber as he held out his hand. Mario shook it. "Doctor Nefarious Tropy. Cloud invited me over to the mansion for a...a little favor."
"Mama mia, such a firm-a handshake!" marveled Mario, after he and N. Tropy were done shaking hands. "Say, did-a Cloud bring you here for the..." Cloud quickly shushed Mario, not wanting to let the cat out of the bag.
"What my purpose here is none of your concern. Not for now, at least." N. Tropy stood back up, keeping his lips sealed about the Aerith Revival Project. Especially with Lucina and Uka around.
"Dr. N. Tropy, try hitting Mario's nose!" N. Gin encouraged the evil genius, who rolled his eyes at the cyborg's immaturity. "It makes a very funny sound. Come on, give it a try!"
"I highly encourage you not to do that," Lucina advised N. Tropy, effectively taking the words right out of Mario's mouth. N. Tropy kept his hands to himself, leaving N. Gin disappointed.
"Duly noted," N. Tropy said to Lucina as he gave her a nod, before directing his attention back to Mario. "Mario, I have heard that you traveled through time, with some assistance from Professor E. Gadd. Cloud informed me of your experience. That said, would you like to..."
"Say no more - Cloud already had-a me at 'time-traveling crew,'" replied Mario, who was ready to get started. N. Tropy loved the attitude. "I won't be raging against-a evil aliens, will I?"
"No, nothing of the sort. This is just an experiment to test out my new...time machine."
Dr. Wily was taking a nap in his room, sleeping comfortably on top of his bed. Then the inventor suddenly woke up, finding himself in a cold sweat. He was clutching his chest, breathing heavily.
"I sense a foul atrocity in the air..." Dr. Wily said as he looked around his room in a minor state of confusion. What could've possibly triggered the robot inventor?
Now that he had his phone bill paid off, Pit could use his phone number as the number to call for ordering food from Lloyd's Delivery Service. From Monday through Wednesday, Pit was receiving calls left and right. It was a sign of good business.
But yesterday, the number of calls that Pit received had decreased dramatically. Which meant that the list of clients to serve was shorter. Pit and Lloyd wondered what caused this trend, as Toad drove around through a neighborhood.
"We have a delivery to make at the house just up ahead," Toad informed Pit and Lloyd, who both were left deep in thought. So many questions that needed to be answered, in such little time. "Is the food ready?"
"I mean, we barely even touched much of the food today...so yeah, I guess," replied Lloyd, sounding pretty disheartened. His business was going strong, but now things were pretty stagnant.
"Alright then. I'm pulling up right now!" Toad pulled up to the house, parking the delivery truck at the curb. Pit and Lloyd each grabbed a loaf of bread, before exiting the truck and going to the front door.
"I hope that our business hasn't peaked," Pit said to Lloyd, slightly fearing for the worst, as Lloyd rang the doorbell. A middle-aged man answered the door.
"Good day, sir! How do you do?" Lloyd greeted the man, tossing his dismay aside and giving a big smile to leave a good impression on his customer. "Are you the good man who ordered some bread?"
"Why yes, that would be me!" the man happily replied, as he made Pit and Lloyd feel happy inside. But that happiness would be short-lived. "I would like to cancel my order, though."
"You want to cancel...your order?" a baffled Pit asked the man, surprised by this sudden turn of events. "Does this mean that you hate eating bread now?"
"No, of course not! I enjoy bread, all kinds! It's just that the money I planned to pay you with, I already spent at Dingo's Diner."
"Dingo's Diner?! You don't mean..." Pit watched as the man took out a brown paper bag, which had "Dingo's Diner" on it, and took a cheeseburger out of the bag before eating it. Pit and Lloyd couldn't believe it.
"Yeah, Dingo's Diner! It was shut down last year thanks to some tiger peeing in the fries, but it's back in business! Went there for the first time since it reopened yesterday."
"Say what?" Suddenly a TV ad appeared on the television in the man's living room. Pit and Lloyd took a peek through the doorway...and saw Dingodile on the television screen.
"Tired of that vile swill Papa Batfield cooks up in his filthy outhouse?" asked Dingodile, who was standing in front of what appeared to be his diner. "C'mon down to Dingo's Diner!"
"Who the heck is Papa Batfield...?" wondered Lloyd, as Dingodile gave a wink at the camera. That wink was a major selling point for the ad.
"Food served at Dingo's Diner may not meet the legal definition of 'food,'" said the narrator from the commercial, as he was giving out a disclaimer. "Consume at your own risk. Side effects of dining at Dingo's Diner may include fatigue, increased body odor, risk-seeking behavior, thinking too much about your uncle, increased hunger, decreased hunger, alienation from your friends and family..."
Pit: I don't really have an uncle - Lady Palutena is the only family that I know. And Dark Pit, too, if he counts. Also, Kirby and Incineroar have never anal probed me before. Dingodile's food shouldn't have too big of an effect on me! (If I decide to eat it, that is.)
"...skin irritation, ennui, leaky orifices, oozing orifices, glowing orifices, additional orifices, gas, wumpa cheeks, remembering that girl from high school - what she's up to? Do you think she's happy?" the narrator continued with the disclaimer, as the man sheepishly stood by while eating his cheeseburger. "And profuse vomiting. No shirts, no shoes, no bats!"
"I mean, aside from those side-effects, the food isn't that bad," the man said to Pit and Lloyd, who were both looking salty. Got the man feeling bad about himself. "Heck, I haven't even remembered that girl I had a crush on in high school!"
"Have a good day, sir..." Lloyd frowned at the man, slamming the front door on him as he and Pit marched back to the delivery truck. Neither one of them was in a happy mood.
"What happened? Did the customer not want the bread?" Toad asked Pit and Lloyd, seeing how visibly angry they were. "Did they change their mind?"
"Toad, I'm afraid that we might have some actual competition..." Pit said to the delivery truck driver, who shuddered at the thought of a competing food delivery service. "...Dingo's Diner is back in business!"
"And what does that have to do with anything? We're not just making enemies all willy-nilly, are we?" That was a very Pit thing to do.
"The man who ordered his bread chose to spend his hard-earned money at Dingo's Diner," Lloyd explained to Toad, stressing the severity of the situation as much as he could. "What a waste!"
"Who knows if Dingo's Diner had to do with our recent lack of customers," said Pit, knowing for a fact that Dingodile was responsible for the downward trend. "You know what we should do?"
"Stop making assumptions and just keep going on with our business?" Toad's answer was so basic, at least to Pit, that Pit smacked him in the face.
"No...we need to stop Dingodile from stealing our customers. Together, we're gonna take Dingo's Diner DOWN!"
"This must be just an isolated incident...you two are just overreacting! Oh boy..."
N. Tropy and Uka were down in the basement, with a group of folks recruited for N. Tropy's time-traveling mission - Mario, Sonic, Ness, Sora, Young Link, and Lucina. Inside the basement was N. Tropy's time machine, one that N. Gin carefully constructed.
"This is the Rift Generator - or at least a smaller version of it," N. Tropy explained to Mario and company, as the time machine was powered off. "With it, one can go through any space-time portal without fail."
"Nice time machine you got there, Whiskers!" Sonic said to N. Tropy as he clicked his fingers at the evil genius, who frowned in response. Having his facial hair be considered whiskers often made N. Tropy feel self-conscious.
"I will kill you..." N. Tropy threatened Sonic, putting the blue hedgehog in his place, before turning his attention to Uka. "Uka, why don't you use some of your energy to power on the Rift Generator?"
"I was hoping that you would ask!" replied Uka, who would do anything for N. Tropy. He'd gleefully paint the evil genius's toenails without the slightest hint of hesitation if he ever had the hands to do it. "The Rift Generator should be on by the time Cloud gets back."
"Precisely. Take your time - don't overindulge yourself!" So Uka faced the Rift Generator and used his energy to charge up the time machine. The floating mask was extremely focused and shaking violently, showing how much energy he was using.
"Psst, Dr. N. Tropy, I have a question about-a this Rift Generator..." Mario whispered to the evil genius, as he came over to speak with him in private. "...does its use have-a to do with the Aerith Revival Project?"
"Why do you care so much?" N. Tropy whispered back, as Sora looked over and saw Mario and N. Tropy whispering with each other. Curious, the Keyblade wielder tiptoed over to eavesdrop a bit.
"Cloud told-a me about the project two weeks ago. I promised to keep it a secret from-a the others. So, about Aerith..." Once Mario mentioned Aerith's name, Sora was all the more intrigued.
"Yes, we'll be using this Rift Generator to go back in time and seek out Aerith from the past. We'll find Aerith's dead body, and gather a DNA sample from her and return to the present."
"Aerith's dead body...?" Sora furrowed his brow with a finger underneath his chin; this was his first time learning that the Aerith from this universe was dead.
"Yup...such a shame-a that Sephiroth killed her," remarked Mario, as Sora's mind was now completely blown. "You think that bringing Aerith back would negate-a the sacrifice she made, all those years ago?"
"It was Cloud's call to want to revive Aerith; you should take it up with him." That was what Mario planned to do...and now what Sora planned to do as well.
"Dr. N. Tropy, I have a few more willing participants," Cloud notified the evil genius as he showed up at the basement, with Crash, Coco, and Aku. Crash was on Cloud's black sleeve, gnawing on it.
"Crash, for the last time, Cloud's sleeve is not a..." Aku said to the bandicoot, before stopping when he and the bandicoots spotted N. Tropy. "...N. Tropy?" Once he heard N. Tropy's name, Crash stopped the gnawing.
"Crash and Coco Bandicoot?" N. Tropy uttered the names of the two bandicoots, looking surprised at first before his astonishment faded away. "Well, Cortex apparently lives here, so I can't be that shocked..."
Cloud: Thought that N. Tropy's experimentation would feel incomplete without a few familiar faces - and that's where Crash, Coco, and Aku come in. I reckon those three don't detest N. Tropy's existence as much as they do with Cortex's, so things should go smoothly...
"Dr. N. Tropy, why are you in our basement?" Coco asked the evil genius, as Crash leaped down from Cloud's sleeve and mean-mugged N. Tropy. "And what is that machine?"
"My dear Coco, it was Mr. Strife who invited me," N. Tropy explained to the bandicoot, before showing off the Rift Generator. Uka was still using his energy to power the Rift Generator on. "This is the Rift Generator. It is a device with time-traveling capabilities..."
"Cloud, is it true that Sephiroth killed the Aerith in this universe?" Sora asked the swordsman, rudely cutting off N. Tropy. Perhaps the worst person you could interrupt. "What was the sacrifice that she made?"
"Why are you asking this now?" Ness asked Sora, as Cloud looked away; now wasn't a good time for telling long stories.
"I'm sorry, did I ask at the wrong time? You know what, I'll just save my question for later." Suddenly, Uka was heard grunting loudly, as a giant rift was starting to open in the fabric of space and time.
"Um, Uka...I think you might wanna calm-a down there," Mario advised the floating mask, who was still giving it his all. Under the assumption that something bad was about to happen, Crash rushed to action and leaped at N. Tropy, aiming at his head.
"Gah! Get off of me, you filthy marsupial!" N. Tropy shouted at Crash, who was pulling on the evil genius's helmet. Meanwhile, everyone was focused on Uka, and the giant rift that was getting bigger and bigger.
"Now would be a good time to stop, Master Uka..." N. Gin cautiously said to the floating mask, as the giant rift was growing in size. Trying to pull off N. Tropy's helmet, Crash flung himself off of N. Tropy and into the giant rift.
"Crash, no!" a panicked Coco cried out, as she jumped inside in the rift to save her brother. Aku went inside the giant rift also, but only because he really had no other choice.
"Bandicoot gone rogue, I repeat, bandicoot gone rogue!" Young Link said into his walkie-talkie, before staring down the giant rift. "Well, Hutch, duty calls..." Wanting to save the day, Young Link dived into the giant rift.
"Young-a Link! Get back here!" frowned Mario, as he too jumped into the giant rift. Sonic saw Mario enter the rift, knowing that the plumber might need some backup.
"Hold on, Mario, I'm coming too!" replied the hedgehog, as he ran inside the giant rift at the speed of sound. That left Ness and Lucina alone, as the only time-traveling crewmates remaining.
"I don't even have a good enough reason to go inside that rift..." remarked Ness, mulling his options before giving out a shrug. "...eh, I'll just head on in."
"Same here," responded Lucina, as she and Ness nonchalantly entered the giant rift. A cameraman would also enter the rift, just to see where Ness, Lucina, and the others would end up.
Eventually, Uka gave out, as the floating mask fell to the floor. The giant rift was open for only a few more seconds, before closing entirely.
"Is he dead?" wondered N. Gin as he lifted a seemingly lifeless Uka off the floor. A Rabbid came over to N. Gin, scaring the cyborg away before picking up Uka and wearing him over his face.
"He barely served his purpose," frowned N. Tropy, seeing that his Rift Generator wasn't powered on at all. "He used so much of his energy, that giant rift through space and time only lasted for a short duration. All of that energy could've been used for the generator...what a waste."
"Wait, did you say...a giant rift through space and time?" Cloud asked N. Tropy, now fearing for the safety and well-being of Mario and the others. "Is that what that big portal was?"
"I am afraid so. Those individuals will either be transported back in time, sent to the future, or wind up in an alternate universe. Or dead."
"Got my fingers crossed it's not the fourth option." Master Hand wouldn't be able to handle any of his residents dead - let alone Mario. "Is there anything we can do to save them?"
"Our only hope is to somehow get this Rift Generator powered on. If Uka had just a wee bit of energy to spare, it would be no problem. Now we have to find a new source..."
Having jumped through the giant rift through space and time, Mario was now lying on the ground, his eyes closed, as he appeared to be unconscious. He was lying with his face on some green grass, and his hat wasn't on his head.
"Mario...Mario...wake up!" a voice called out to Mario, who slowly opened his eyes and saw Cappy in front of him. Barely recognizing Cappy, Mario was spooked as he jumped up and screamed.
"Mama mia!" the plumber shrieked as he got back on his feet, only to take a deep breath when he got a good look at Cappy. "Cappy, why did you have to scare-a me like that?"
"You're lucky I didn't slap you. Only decided against it because I knew it would make you angrier."
"Mario! About time you woke up from your thirty-second power nap," a certain hedgehog called out to the plumber, who looked turned around and saw Sonic. Gathered around Sonic was everyone that went through the giant rift.
"Ah, I see you all made-a it here safe and sound." Mario walked over to the group, as Cappy returned to the plumber's head. "Do any of you have any idea where-a we're at?"
"Check this out..." Ness said to Mario, as he pointed out in the distance. Mario looked over and gasped deeply at what he saw...
...it was a wedding! But not just any wedding - it was the wedding of Luigi and Daisy. Mario and the others watched as several folks danced down the aisle, while Chris Brown's "Forever" played over the speakers. Luigi was standing at the altar.
"What is that dancing...?" Coco cringed, as she saw Little Mac and Isabelle dance down the aisle, followed by Shulk and Dunban. "They all look like a bunch of dorks. Wait a minute..."
"Mama mia...have we gone-a BACK IN TIME?!" panicked Mario, unleashing his inner Kevin McCallister with his hands on his face. The others would share Mario's panic, with Young Link taking out his walkie-talkie.
"Starsky, earth to Starsky, we have a dilemma..." Young Link spoke into his walkie-talkie, sounding like he wanted his mom to come and save him. "Me and a few others went back in time, and now we're stuck, so with that in mind...please save my box of doughnuts for me!"
"Really? That's your biggest concern right now?" Lucina scolded Young Link, who took a deep breath as put his walkie-talkie away. Doesn't look like a portal will be opening up soon for our time-traveling crew anytime...
Young Link tried to relay his message to Toon Link, who only got static on his end. A bunch of static sounds came out from Toon Link's walkie-talkie, as Toon Link banged his communication device on the table in the buddy cops' police station.
"C'mon you stupid walkie-talkie, work already!" Toon Link shouted at his walkie-talkie, before ultimately giving up as he put his device away. "This is what happens when Hutch gets to travel through time without me...this oughta teach him to not leave me behind."
Toon Link: Hutch was chosen over me because according to deputy sheriff Cloud, Hutch had more time-traveling experience between us two. Which to me, sounds disingenuous. That was just Cloud's own discreet way of saying that he secretly preferred Hutch.
"I'm hungry - mind feeding me one of those doughnuts?" Cortex, stuck in his jail cell, asked Toon Link as he pointed at a box of doughnuts sitting on the buddy cops' table. The same box of doughnuts that Young Link was trying to contact Toon Link about.
"No can do - as a prisoner, you're supposed to starve," replied Toon Link, as he grabbed the box of doughnuts and moved them out of sight. "Prison protocol."
"But my stomach won't stop growling! Surely you can spare just ONE doughnut." But Toon Link refused, as he hid the box of doughnuts in a place where only he and Young Link would find it.
"If you're so hungry, just eat your toenails instead." Toon Link left the police station, taking his walkie-talkie out. "Maybe this thing will work better outside..."
"Sadly it looks like I have no other choice..." Heaving a heavy sigh, Cortex sat down and took off his shoe...and started gnawing at his toe, trying to bite off his toenail. Link and Rex happened to walk by the police station when Rex heard Cortex making some strange noises.
"Hey Link, check that out..." the swordsman whispered to the Hylian, as he pointed inside the police station. Link and Rex took a peek inside and saw Cortex gnawing on his toe.
"Dr. Cortex, what in Hylia's name are you doing?" Link asked the evil genius out of great concern, as Cortex stopped when he saw that he had company.
"Oh, nothing - just trying to eat my toenails," Cortex sheepishly replied as he put his shoe back on his foot and stood up. "Toon Link wanted me to starve..."
"We can get you some of Min Min's noodles if you like." With no buddy cops around, Link feeding the "prisoner" some food should go well.
"That would be nice, but I just want to get out of here. Those buddy cops have arrested me so many times that I've lost count!"
"You do realize that you have a ray gun, right?" Rex asked Cortex, who dug into his pocket and pulled out the ray gun in question. "Just use that to blast down the prison bars, and free yourself!"
"I would, but the buddy cops fortified the prison door so I can't escape!" Having learned this, Link walked up to the prison door, digging his hand in his pocket. "They sure know how to think ahead."
"And unfortunately for them...so do I," replied Link as he pulled out a key from his pocket - and used the key to unlock the prison door. Cortex was amazed, as Link opened the prison door and granted Cortex his freedom.
"You have a key to unlock this prison door?!" Unable to hide a smirk, Link put the prison door key back in his pocket. "But...but how?"
"Got the key from Cloud. Guess you could say it was a courtesy gift..." Link watched as Cortex stepped out from the jail cell, happy to be free.
Link: Cloud handed me that key to the prison door the very day that he got it from the buddy cops. That should show you how much he actually values his duties as a deputy sheriff.
"Yes, now that I'm free, I can seek my revenge upon N. Tropy!" exclaimed Cortex, before he had an evil laugh. Link and Rex looked at him like he was crazy. "I'll kick him out of this mansion, lickity-split!"
"Why do I feel like this N. Tropy guy is here just to spite Cortex?" Rex whispered to Link, hoping that N. Tropy wouldn't be a repeat of Brio.
"Nah, N. Tropy wouldn't stoop that low to do that," Link whispered back, pretty aware of N. Tropy and what he was about. "And I seriously doubt he'd want full control of the mansion."
"I need you two to help me take down N. Tropy," Cortex said to Link and Rex, as he wanted nothing more than to bring his rival down. "I know you're both busy with wedding planning and all..."
"Yes, we are busy," thank you very much," affirmed Link, who didn't want to waste his day with Cortex. "Rex and I are looking for a wedding venue."
"Well, you two can take a break! Maybe I'll throw in a little something for your efforts...like a romantic gift for your significant others, perhaps."
"I'm sold!" exclaimed Rex, as a baffled Link looked at the swordsman - sounded like Rex wanted to get a gift for Nia, to show his love.
"Excellent! As long as everything goes well, N. Tropy should be outta here in no time. He's going to wish he never came here..."
After Uka caused the giant rift to open down in the basement, another rift was opened in the Star Records room, this one on the smaller side. Fox and Falco were both staring at his rift, drinking coffee.
"Got a hundred bucks this is a portal to Subspace," Falco said to Fox, despite having no actual evidence to back up his claim. "Or to the end of the universe."
"The 'end of the universe' doesn't exist, you know," Fox informed Falco, before taking a sip from his cup of coffee. "It's just a fad used by science fiction writers to spruce up their science fiction novels."
"How do you know, you traveled through space." Fox had nothing to say about that, as he kept his lips pursed. "Who's to say that either one of us passed by the end of the universe?"
"If either one of us did, then we should've died. And for that reason, the end of the universe isn't real." Falco rolled his eyes at Fox, as Itsuki entered the Star Records and saw the rift through space and time.
"What's that hole doing there?" Itsuki asked Fox and Falco, as he observed the rift with a peculiar look on his face. "Should we...should we be concerned?"
"I mean, if you want to be concerned, go right on ahead," replied Fox, as Itsuki was about to stick his hand through the rift but quickly decided against it. "Personally, Falco and I couldn't be bothered with..."
Fox would be interrupted when a bandicoot jumped out from the rift with a flying kick. The bandicoot sent Fox down to the floor before she got in a fighting stance.
"Alright, which one of you stole the treasure?" the bandicoot - who was much taller than Crash and Coco - asked Falco and Itsuki, ready to square them up. She would cool off when she saw that she was in unfamiliar territory. "Woah...where am I?"
"I think the better question is...who the heck are you?" Fox asked the bandicoot, rubbing his head as Falco helped the pilot back on his feet. "Are you supposed to be some kind of bandicoot?"
"That's right, I'm a bandicoot - Tawna Bandicoot's the name!" The bandicoot grinned as she clicked her fingers at Fox, Falco, and Itsuki. Her name sounded very familiar to the three.
"Tawna Bandicoot? So you must be Crash's girlfriend!" Falco said to Tawna, who appeared mildly confused for a second. "Though you look a little more...punk than I expected."
"Yeah...Crash wasn't really my boyfriend." The fact that Tawna referred to Crash in the past tense was awfully suspect. "Could've been my boyfriend, probably, but he died at the hands of..."
"Crash is still alive," Itsuki informed Tawna, whose eyes went wide. It was a pretty big revelation to her. "In fact, he's living with us in this mansion!"
"He's still alive? If that's the case..." Tawna thought to herself for a moment, before laughing when she found the answer. "...I'm in a different universe! Ah, I should've known."
"Any Heartless or Nobodies from where you're from?" Falco asked Tawna, who furrowed her brow in confusion as Fox and Itsuki gave the avian pilot very dubious looks. "Sorry for asking...got PTSD. You wouldn't understand."
Falco: Thanks to Organization XIII, I've been conditioned to believe that anyone from an alternate universe is evil, and out to get me. Alternate universe Tawna looks fine so far, but if she turns into some giant Heartless and eats me alive, I'm taking my complaints to Dr. Wily. Or E. Gadd. Or whoever was responsible for bringing Aerith into this universe. Might even complain to one of the Pokemon professors.
The small rift in the Star Records room was open for a few more seconds, and then it closed and vanished away. If Tawna had planned on heading back home, she definitely missed her window of opportunity.
"Guess I'm stuck here for now," sighed Tawna as she cracked her knuckles. "I suppose that I could wind down for a bit. So, Crash lives here, huh?"
"And so does Coco and Dr. Cortex," replied Fox, as Tawna was startled to hear the latter name. She couldn't see the bandicoots and Cortex getting along under the same roof. "And Aku and Uka, if you wanna include them..."
"I bet Dr. N. Tropy lives here too, huh? Let's just say that I have a personal vendetta against that doctor..."
At Pit's discretion, Toad drove the food truck to Dingo's Diner, which was very busy today. There were a whole bunch of cars in the drive-in, as Pit, Lloyd, and Toad were spying on the diner from behind the parked food truck.
"Look at that - Dingodile shouldn't be reeling in that many customers!" frowned Lloyd, wondering if those in the drive-in listened to the disclaimer in that Dingo's Diner television ad. Or even saw the ad, for that matter. "We need to find a way to shut his diner down."
"I got it...let's throw a flaming bag of poop in the window!" suggested Pit, thinking that he came up with a brilliant plan. Toad thought otherwise, as he gave the angel a funny look.
"A flaming bag of poop? Why?" asked Toad, feeling disgusted - how would the bag of poop even be made? Who would make it? Why even set it on fire?!
"Because then the customers inside will stamp it out, and everyone will get poop on their shoes! Then some health inspector will stop by, and..."
"Okay, but what exactly is that supposed to accomplish?" Toad wanted Lloyd to talk Pit out of his idea, but Lloyd was giving the idea some consideration.
"Poop on the shoes, Toad! They're shoes! It's not a foreign concept, you know..." Pit found himself in complete awe of how ignorant Toad was.
"Pit, are you a stupid person?" Took you long enough to realize that, Toad. Better late than never. Further disgusted by Toad's ignorance, Pit grunted.
"You know what...I dig it," said Lloyd, after giving much thought to the "poop on the shoes" idea, as he and Pit exchanged a high five. Toad was at a complete loss for words. "Let's do this!"
"How are we going to acquire the poop?" Pit and Lloyd were glad Toad asked, as they looked at him with devious smiles. "Wh-Why are you two looking at me like that?"
"Ahoy, mates! What are you three doing here outside? Come on in and help yourself with some grub - got some fried shrimp on the barbie!"
Before Pit, Lloyd, and Toad could enact their plan, they saw Dingodile coming towards them. Dingodile looked very friendly, but to Pit and Lloyd, the mutant was their mortal enemy. Just for today.
"Hi, Dingodile - very nice turnout!" Toad said to the mutant, who was being glared down intensely by Pit and Toad. "Great to be back in business, huh?"
"Everything has been pushing up daisies, mate," replied Dingodile, proudly smiling at the line of cars in the drive-in. "Look at all those cars lined up out there...almost brings a tear to my eye."
Pit: Toad chose to engage with the enemy...must've been trying to fool Dingodile, and get under his skin. Otherwise, he's a secret agent!
"Have any of your customers suffered from skin irritation?" Lloyd asked Dingodile as he raised his eyebrow at him, trying to make the mutant feel guilty. "What about increased body odor?"
"Nope, haven't received a single complaint!" replied Dingodile, although Pit and Lloyd both remained skeptical. Toad thought that the two were crazy. "Otherwise, my diner would be out of business again."
"Well, I'm happy to see that your diner is up and running again," Toad said to Dingodile, unnerving Pit and Lloyd with his friendliness. Even though Toad was friendly with just about every person on earth. "Should have more success the second time around!"
"You can say that again, mate! Better yet, no stinking Tiny Tiger to urinate on the food. Found me some competent blokes to work the diner this time around."
"Dingodile, you have to come quick!" one of the workers ran out of the diner to alert the mutant. "Darell's trying to upsell another customer outside! This time with the steak fries!"
"Told that Darell good and well not to bother the steak fries..." Dingodile grumbled as he walked back to the diner, before turning around at Pit and company. "...well, I'll see you mates around, or another time. Whichever comes first. Hope to see you eating at the diner real soon!"
"Keep up the good work, Dingodile!" Toad said to the mutant as he smiled and waved to him. Pit and Lloyd couldn't be any more disappointed.
"Screw the 'poop on the shoes' idea...we need to fight fire with fire," Lloyd said to Pit and Toad, as he pounded his fist on the palm of his hand. "Fight Dingodile's business with another business!"
"You think we should take the food truck, and drive it into the diner?" asked Pit - his suggestion was a bit too violent, as Lloyd shook his head in disagreement. "Okay, what about the cars lined up at the drive-in?"
"No, we need to fight back with sound business acumen. None of us have the acumen, even if the three of us combined our expertise."
"Anna the merchant has sound business acumen," stated Toad, before gasping and covering his mouth. It was too late, as Lloyd had a smirk on his face. "What have I done..."
"Toad, you are a GENIUS!" Lloyd commended the food truck driver, who wished that he hadn't spoken in the first place. "We'll just ask Anna to devise a brilliant plan that will ultimately get Dingo's Diner closed down. And then people will start buying our food again!"
"Any other time I wouldn't trust Anna, but she sure has my confidence now!" exclaimed Pit, who oftentimes shared Master Hand's disdain for capitalism and those who practiced it. Toad lowered his head in shame and regret. "Toad, take us back to the mansion!"
"As you wish..." Toad sighed as he, Pit, and Lloyd went back inside the food truck. Poor Toad felt powerless trying to stop Pit and Lloyd.
Mario and the gang were still stuck in the past, having arrived at the time where Luigi and Daisy got married. Mario brought everyone to the art museum of Olympic Sculpture Park, where they peeked inside and saw Luigi, Daisy, and all the wedding guests eating steak.
"Didn't even ask for this shirt..." frowned Azura as she walked by holding a "#KnittingClub" shirt. "...at least I made Yoshi and the others happy." Mario and the others pulled back so that Azura wouldn't see them.
"How long are we gonna be stuck here?" Sora whispered to Mario, who brought the group around the art museum to another hiding spot. "What if we accidentally cause a time paradox?"
"That's what I'm-a trying to avoid," Mario whispered back before he spotted a clearing up ahead. Not only that, but he also saw a giant rift in the clearing. Toadsworth and Shulk's friend, Reyn, were looking at it.
"A very interesting find you made, old sport!" Toadsworth said to Reyn as he adjusted his glasses to get a better look at the rift. "How did you discover this?"
"I was just trying to get away from Sonic when I saw this weird portal outside," explained Reyn, as Mario and the others looked at Sonic dubiously. What did Sonic do to make Reyn leave the wedding reception? "Sonic wouldn't stop annoying me about my 'horrible' taste in music."
Sonic: *shrugs* I was just trying to educate Reyn, and teach him that "City Escape" is one of the best songs out there. Why is it such a bad thing to make people feel cultured?
"That rift seems big enough for all of us to go through," observed Aku, not anticipating when the giant rift would close. "But we will need a distraction..."
"Say no more...I got the perfect one," said Young Link as he pulled out his trusty ocarina, and played into it. He played it lough enough to accrue the attention of Toadsworth and Reyn, who looked around.
"What was that noise?" wondered Toadsworth, as Mario and company made a mad dash towards the giant rift. The cameraman followed after them.
"CITY ESCAPE IS STILL THE BEST!" Sonic shouted at Reyn, sending a message to the Homs as he entered through the giant rift which closed within seconds.
The giant rift would open up, spitting Mario and company out. Once he got a good sense of his surroundings, Mario realized that the group went further back in the past, as evidenced by all the 18th-century castles around.
"We must-a be Romania - in the past, that is," observed the plumber, seeing how dark and..."Classical" the aesthetic was. "We're in the Belmonts' home-a land now."
"So when are we going to work, Juste?" asked a certain someone, catching the attention of Sora. Sora peeked around the corner of a nearby castle and saw two vampire hunters having a private discussion.
"Only in due time, Maxim," replied one of the vampire hunters, Juste, as Sora stared down him and Maxim. "We shall wait until night - that's when the vampires will appear."
"Vampires, huh? They must be up to no good!" assumed Sora as he took out his Keyblade. He was about to charge towards Juste and Maxim, but Lucina grabbed the Keyblade wielder and pulled him back.
"Sora, what on earth are you doing?!" Lucina whispered to the Keyblade wielder with a frown, as the others looked disappointed with Sora's act of impulse. "We're trying not to be seen..."
"Sorry, Lucina, I just assumed that those guys were up to no good and..." Sora would stop speaking when he felt someone standing behind him. "... someone is standing behind me, isn't there?"
"You are correct," someone replied, as Sora turned around and spotted Juste. Sora and the others drew back, as Maxim showed up next to Juste. "Should've known better than to sneak up on a Belmont."
"Uh...I can explain." Sora didn't want to fight - like everyone else, he just wanted to get back home. But Juste and Maxim wouldn't allow it, as they both took out their weapons.
"Look, do we really have to teach you a lesson?" Maxim asked Sora, as Coco and Aku looked out and saw a giant rift up ahead, just a few yards past Juste and Maxim. "Can't let some spiky-haired man with a giant key get in our way!"
"Psst, Mario, look at that..." Coco whispered to the plumber as she pointed at the giant rift. Maxim spotted the bandicoot whispering, as he made a frown.
"Hey I'm talking here!" the vampire hunter barked at Coco, taking out his whip and ready to use it. "I ought to shut you up for good!" Crash, thinking ahead, grabbed Aku and jumped in front of Coco while using Aku as a shield. Maxim whipped Aku.
"Ow, ow, ow! His whip hurts even more than Simon's" wondered Aku, taking on the brunt of the pain. Simon whipped Aku? For what? "Go on ahead, get to that rift!"
"Rift? What rift?" questioned Juste, who turned around and saw Mario and the others entering through the rift. Maxim repeatedly whipped away at Aku, who winced with every lashing.
"Now, Crash, before the rift closes!" Aku shouted to Crash, just as Maxim was out of breath. Crash spun Juste and Maxim out of the way as he and Aku - and the cameraman - made it through the giant rift before it closed.
Mario and the gang made it through the giant rift safe and sound, and found themselves in another location...this one not being Seattle. Instead, they found themselves in a foreign country and one that looked very old-fashioned.
"We're definitely not in Kansas anymore..." remarked Young Link as he took a look around his new surroundings, before letting out a short laugh. "...hehe, I've always wanted to say that."
"Is it just me, or are we standing on top of a building?" wondered Sonic, seeing a flock of birds flying past the others. Mario gulped nervously when he heard this, as Sonic walked over...to the edge of a building.
"We might've gone even further back in time," said Ness as he joined Sonic at the building's edge, looking down and seeing some townsfolk dressed in old-fashioned clothes. "Where do you think we ended up?"
"Going by how the other buildings look...we must be in 15th century Spain," said Coco as she saw the other buildings. Mario, looking over the edge of the building and feeling light-headed from his fear of heights, was acting very tipsy. "Mario, are you okay?"
"Captain, I think the ship-a has sailed..." responded Mario, before fainting unto the roof of the building. Everyone just stared at Mario, including Cappy who got a good look at the plumber.
"Shucks...I knew this was bound to happen," sighed Cappy, seeing that Mario had been overwhelmed by his newfound fear. Cappy was about to wake up Mario until a robed assassin jumped on top of the roof.
"Hope that I threw Rodrigo Borgia's soldiers off their...scent," the assassin remarked, before spotting the time-traveling crew standing on top of the building. "Well now, this is some very peculiar company."
"Altaïr, is that you?" Young Link asked the assassin, thinking that he was Altaïr. Even wore the type of clothing that Altaïr wore around the mansion.
"I am not this Altaïr that you speak of. I am Ezio Auditore da Firenze, a member of the Thieves Guild. And you are some of the strangest beings that I have ever seen..."
"He's referring to you the most," Sonic whispered to Lucina, who waved off the blue hedgehog; if anything, Ezio should be weirded out by Crash and Coco both wearing human clothes.
"If I may, I can take you all somewhere safe in this city, and then we can all be acquainted." Ezio looked down below, making sure that Rodrigo Borgia and his men weren't around in the vicinity. "I have a very...interesting way of maneuvering around, so we shall take the long way."
As Uka remained fainted on the basement floor, Tropy was working tirelessly to power on his Rift Generator. He hoped once his Rift Generator was up and running, he could use it to save Mario and the others.
"Should I use my Flash Stopper or my Time Stopper?" Mega Man asked N. Tropy, as he was brought down to the basement by Cloud to help the evil genius with his Rift Generator. He was the only company allowed at the time.
"Show me how this 'Flash Stopper' works," N. Tropy asked of Mega Man, who performed a bit of a demonstration as emitted a bright flash of light around him. N. Tropy grunted in pain as he, Cloud, N. Gin, and the Rabbids were temporarily blinded.
"OW, MY EYES! IT BURNS!" wailed N. Gin as he backed himself into a wall. "THANK YOU, MEGA MAN, FOR BLESSING ME WITH THIS WONDERFUL PAIN!"
N. Gin: With Uka down for the count, I took some personal liberty and drew on his face... *holds up Uka* ...look, I drew a mustache on his face! And a beard! *looks at Uka* Come to think of it, he already has facial hair...well, look at his eyebrows I drew on him! *looks at Uka again* Dang it, he already has eyebrows, too! Why does he have to look so simple? Eh, the least I can do is give him a unibrow. The magic marker should wear off by the time he wakes up...
"Sorry about that," Mega Man sheepishly apologized, as N. Tropy and company quickly recovered from their temporary blindness. "How about I show off my Time Stopper? That oughta help with fixing your time machine."
"Mega Man, I don't think that you should..." Cloud started, only for Mega Man to use his Time Stopper and freeze everyone around him in time. Which was a slightly unintended effect.
"Whoops...I don't think that was supposed to happen either!" Suddenly Mega Man heard a knock on the basement door, and it was some very desperate knocking at that. "Who's there?" Mega Man called out.
"Mega Man, you must let me in at once!" Dr. Wily called out to the robot from behind the basement door, making his message extremely urgent. "I must speak with whoever's inside!"
"It's just me, Cloud, Dr. N. Gin, and Dr. N. Tropy." The moment that he heard N. Tropy's name, Dr. Wily wailed, leading Mega Man to assume that the robot inventor had some issues. "And those Rabbids, can't forget about 'em."
"No, no, no! Of all the people...gah! I should have known. Please, Mega Man, you must let me in the basement, before..."
"Dr. Wily, why are you so distressed?" Aerith asked the robot inventor, seeing him down on his knees while pulling on his hair. Dr. Wily recollected himself as he stood back up to dash any of Aerith's worry away.
"Oh, don't mind me...I was just practicing for The Maury Show," replied Dr. Wily, as Aerith frowned; Dr. Wily smacked himself on the forehead. "There I go again, using the wrong excuse for the wrong situation..."
Soon Cortex showed up, bringing Link and Rex along with him. Ignoring Dr. Wily, Cortex walked up to the basement door and knocked on the door.
"I know you're in there, N. Tropy, now open up!" the evil genius called out to his rival, before knocking on the door a second time. "Don't make me kick this door down!"
"They're not letting you in, Cortex," Rex informed the evil genius, who refused to believe the swordsman. Cortex knocked on the door a third time. "If you want to get in, why not use your..."
"Shut up, you!" Cortex angrily pointed at Rex, before redirecting his attention back to the basement door. "I'm not going to ask you again, N. Tropy - let me inside! Or else I'll share those embarrassing baby photos of you online!"
"Think again, Cortex, I already deleted them from existence," responded N. Tropy, as time was now unfrozen in the basement. "Nice try - close, but no cigar."
"Cortex, I thought you were supposed to be in jail or something," Cloud called out to the evil genius, not caring that much about him being a free man. "How did you get out?"
"Yeah, how did he get out..." wondered Link, before whistling an innocent tune to himself. Seeing that nobody in the basement would let him in, Cortex growled furiously as he tightened his fist.
"This is all your fault, Link!" the evil genius turned around and pointed accusingly at Link, the contempt sipping through his clenched teeth. "If you hadn't stopped to speak with Zelda and discuss your precious 'wedding planning'..."
"Well excuse me for caring about things that are actually important, and not your...revenge tour, or whatever." Link wasn't even sure if Cortex was seeking revenge against N. Tropy, or if the evil genius was just wasting his time.
"Before I was interrupted, why not use your ray gun to blast the door down, Cortex?" Rex asked the evil genius, who looked down at the ray gun in his pocket.
"Apparently, they fortified the basement door so it would be invulnerable to any blast from my ray gun. It's a bit of a long story..."
Having spoken with Link about the wedding, Zelda was now outside in the front yard, speaking with Tawna, Fox, and Falco. Tawna was on the hunt for N. Tropy, having scoured the mansion for his whereabouts, and had taken her search outside.
"No, Dr. N. Tropy doesn't live here," Zelda informed Tawna, who snapped her fingers in disgust. "Just Dr. Cortex and Uka. Uka is much more pleasant than Cortex is. Sometimes."
"These boys tried to convince me," remarked Tawna as she looked back at Fox and Falco, who were slowly losing their favor in the bandicoot. "Perhaps I should've listened to them!"
"Yeah, perhaps you should've..." Fox muttered under his breath as he looked away, already having grown tired of Tawna.
Fox: Tawna Bandicoot - alternate universe Tawna Bandicoot, I should say - is a very adventurous chick. For that reason, she has a very urgent need to punch and kick everything and everyone in sight. She's left quite the mess during her search for N. Tropy.
Arcade Bunny: *sighs while standing in front of a broken arcade machine* I literally just got this new arcade game a week ago...some blonde bandicoot had to roundhouse kick it for no reason. Maybe she was trying to send a message - don't put crappy arcade games in the arcade room. At least the Shaq Fu arcade game lived a good life.
Meta Knight: Want to know what my room looks like? *opens his bedroom door, revealing his room in a disheveled mess* It was ransacked thanks to some bandicoot claiming to look for "entropy". Now tell me, what's a pirate-looking bandicoot doing looking for some scientific theory?
"I can see where N. Tropy might be if you like," Zelda offered to Tawna, who wanted nothing more than to give N. Tropy a piece of her mind. "I know a robot that can track down his whereabouts."
"Where is this robot guy? I wanna see for myself," replied Tawna, as Zelda led the bandicoot to the mansion. Tawna went up the porch steps, before turning around and looking at Fox and Falco. "I know you boys aren't standing around here outside!"
"Totally should've let Ituski go in our place..." Falco grumbled to Fox, who nodded in agreement as the pilots followed Tawna into the mansion. They couldn't wait until Tawna returned to her universe.
Elsewhere outside in the front yard, Pit, Lloyd, and Toad were having a word with Anna, who was running her shop. Pit and Lloyd were telling Anna about how Dingo's Diner had reopened and was potentially stealing some of their customers.
"Come to think of it, I have seen a decrease in customers lately..." remarked Anna, thinking over how slow business has been over the past few days. "...Dingodile reopening his diner must have something to do with it!"
"Than that means we all share a common goal," affirmed Lloyd, feeling united and stuff as Toad looked away in shame. "To put Dingodile out of business! Anna, how would you like to help us put an end to Dingo's Diner?"
"If it means getting a few of my customers back, then I'm all in! But first, we need to have a plan. Anyone got ideas?"
"Well, there was that one commercial we saw on television, about the diner..." replied Lloyd, as he got his brain juices flowing.
Ezio had taken the time-traveling crew somewhere in the Spanish city where they could be safe, and that place was an abandoned building. Mario was still unconscious, and Cappy desperately wanted to wake the plumber up.
"I think I oughta give him a good slap," Cappy said to the others gathered around, as the talking hat got his hand ready. "Mario will be very angry with me afterward, but he'll be..."
"Save your energy - I have a better solution," Ezio said to Cappy, before digging into his pocket and pulling out some smelling salts. "This will do the trick." Ezio held the smelling salts up to Mario's nose, and in a matter of seconds...Mario woke up.
"I BENCH-A PRESS MY WIFE, DAILY!" was the very first thing that the plumber blurted out upon waking up. Everyone standing around gave Mario some very weird looks. "Sorry for saying that out-a loud..."
Mario: Seriously though, I do bench-a press Princess Peach. But only when she's asleep. That's the only time-a she doesn't complain.
"Glad to see that you're okay, Mario!" Sonic gave a thumbs up to the plumber, knowing that the time-traveling crew wouldn't get anywhere without their faithful leader.
"Much-a appreciated, Sonic," Mario smiled in response, before turning his attention to Ezio. "Thanks-a for waking me up...Altaïr?"
"No, I am Ezio, a member of the Thieves Guild," Ezio introduced himself to Mario, who in the back of his mind assumed that Ezio was a descendant of Altaïr. "You and your friends have mysteriously shown up on top of a building, here in Barcelona."
"Yeah, about that...we're actually from the future," Coco explained to Ezio, choosing not to go into all the unnecessary details. "Long story short, we've been hopping through giant rifts in time and space."
"A giant rift? As in, a portal?" Ezio thought to himself for a moment, recalling anywhere in Barcelona that he saw a giant rift. "I might have seen one somewhere in this city."
"Awesome! Do you mind taking us there? It might close at a random time, so we have to move fast."
"Then you are in luck - moving fast is kind of my thing. Just follow me, and you'll find your way back home."
Pit, Lloyd, and Toad were back at Dingo's Diner, this time bringing Anna along with them. Taking charge, Anna led the three amigos inside the diner, where there were a couple of folks eating in.
"Stand back, boys...let me handle this," Anna said to Pit and company, before spotting Dingodile speaking with someone. Once that person walked away, Anna and the boys approached Dingodile, who looked over.
"Ah, you three are back!" Dingodile gleamed when he saw Pit, Lloyd, and Toad, thinking that the three were here to dine in. "And I see that you brought the nice merchant lady along, too."
"G'day mate...but we're not here to dine in," Anna said to Dingodile while speaking in an authentic Australian accent. Dingodile was mildly confused, as a few workers and those sitting at the counter looked over.
"Hold on for just a second. Why are you speaking with an Australian accent? Is this some kind of prank?" Dingodile would ask Pit for answers, but he knew that would just lead to more questions.
"Cozy diner you got here! Word has it that you and your chumps have got your mitts in some moolah, and we want a piece of that pie."
Dingo's Diner Worker: I have no idea what that merchant lady said. But her Australian accent was kinda cute!
"You blokes are after my money, aren't ya?" Dingodile asked Anna and company, backing himself into the counter. Anna had a wicked smirk on her face as she approached Dingodile.
"Showing your real feelings, aren't ya?" the merchant asked Dingodile, as she saw nervous drops of sweat run down the mutant's face. "It takes a real man to not be afraid to show their real feelings."
"If it's the money you want, just know that I'm not gonna give any of it up! I made my own money, fair and square, and there's not a thing you can do to..."
"Dingo's Diner has a disclaimer, doesn't it? These boys told me about it after they saw one of your ads on television." Dingodile would look at Pit, Lloyd, and Toad, glaring down the three.
"Thought I had that stupid ad scrubbed from television...but that's the only one with a disclaimer. To my knowledge, at least."
"Unfortunately for you, mate, I have done so...research." Anna pulled out a cellphone, which belonged to Pit, and pulled up a video. "I looked up the ad online, and then I found another ad about your diner...with another disclaimer."
"Another disclaimer...?" So Anna held the phone up to Dingodile, as those at the counter leaned in close to see the ad. Anna tapped her finger on the phone screen to play the video.
"The Seattle & King Country Public Health Department do not in any way endorse eating at Dingodile's Diner," the narrator in the ad spoke, as Dingodile's mouth went agape. How was this ad even made? "Which has been known to cause transdimensional discharge, intestinal rifts, wumpa whooping cough, parasitic slime boil, random teleportation to darker timelines, and uncontrollable mewing like a kitty-cat during important business meetings."
"Wait a minute...I had a friend who suffered from transdimensional discharge," a person sitting at the counter realized, making Dingodile very nervous. "And it was after he ate at this diner!"
"Yeah, my girlfriend wouldn't stop complaining about a nasty cough after she ate food from this place," said another person, as the pressure on Dingodile was starting to mount. "Also said she couldn't stop mewing during a Zoom business call."
"My uncle ordered takeout from Dingo's Diner yesterday, and said he had skin irritation and loss of appetite," said a third person, with Dingodile now fearing for the worst. "I doubt those are the side effects from..."
"Oh, but they are!" said Anna, before pulling up another ad - the one Pit and company saw on television. She showed it to those eating at the counter, making sure they all heard the disclaimer.
"Yo, I know a few folks at work who experienced all those symptoms!" a person seated at the counter frowned, angrily standing up and pointed at the screen. "That was your doing, Dingodile!" The man then pointed at Dingodile.
"Easy now, mate, I bet good money that my food had nothing to do with your co-workers getting sick," Dingodile said to the man, who saw that those seated in the diner were now agitated with him. "So if you just calm down..."
"My friend missed her daughter's piano recital, and it was all because of YOU!" an angry man shouted at Dingodile, as all the customers inside the diner were throwing their complaints at the mutant. Anna, Pit, and Lloyd couldn't have been any happier.
"What, do you blokes want your money back or something?" That was exactly what was on the customers' minds, as they ganged up on Dingodile. "Okay, you're all getting a little close..."
The customers made their feelings known to Dingodile, as they beat the living daylights out of them. The workers at the diner retreated, as the angry customers grabbed their money from the cash registers and stormed out.
"So much for keeping your money," Anna said to the battered mutant, speaking normally, as Dingodile was lying on the floor. "I wonder, is there any money left in those cash registers..."
"Bleh, you can go ahead and take it," grumbled Dingodile, as Pit and Lloyd happily exchanged a high five. "I'll just have to start all over again...but this time with actually healthy food."
Pit: Really wanted to throw a flaming bag of poop through the window, but letting Anna take the lead worked out just fine. Major props to whoever broadcasted that ad on television, though.
Public Health Official: Dingodile thought that he could get away with advertising his diner without delving into the symptoms of eating his food. So, we added a disclaimer to his commercials to warn the people of Seattle about any potential dangers from eating Dingodile's food. We have received word that those who dined have asked for their refund, en masse. Expect those numbers to go up...
When Zelda asked X to help Tawna find N. Tropy, the pacifist robot was in the middle of updating his tracking device. But now he was done, and he was leading Tawna, Fox, and Falco around the mansion for N. Tropy's whereabouts with his tracking device in hand.
"So according to my tracker, Dr. N. Tropy is...in the basement," X said to Tawna and the pilots, leading them down the hallway to the basement door. Cortex and Dr. Wily were around the basement door, with Link and Rex looking on.
"It's a shame that Cortex won't even let us leave," Link said to Rex, as Cortex was banging on the basement door begging someone to let him in. "Guess he needs us as his crutch..."
"Dr. Cortex!" Tawna shouted at the evil genius as she pointed at him. Cortex stopped knocking and turned his head, shrieking when he saw Tawna.
"Oh no, it's Tawna Bandicoot...from an alternate universe!" Cortex panicked, as Rex gave Link a confused look. Link shrugged in response. "Why couldn't it have been regular Tawna?"
"We all can't be choosers, can we? Looks like you're doing some typical villain stuff, so...I'll just put you out of your misery."
"No, wait, I can explain!" Poor Cortex wouldn't have a chance to explain, as Tawna ran up to him and kicked him below the belt. "My crystals..."
"And that's how it's done..." Tawna dusted her hands off, watching as Cortex wheezed in pain and slumped down to the floor. Fox and Falco came over to Tawna, both having rare sympathy for Cortex.
"Er, excuse me ma'am, but is there a way that you could kick down that basement door for me?" Dr. Wily asked Tawna, hoping that the bandicoot wouldn't kick him in the groin. "It's locked from the inside..."
"Locked, huh? Not a problem." Flexing her fingers, Tawna stared down the basement door...
...before kicking it right off its hinges, sending it down the basement steps. Cloud, N. Tropy, N. Gin, and Mega Man looked up and saw Tawna enter the basement with Dr. Wily.
"Oh no, it's Tawna Bandicoot..." N. Tropy frowned when he saw Tawna; his eyes soon darted over to Dr. Wily, as he furrowed his brow. "...and Dr. Wily? Why are you here? Are you still salty because I never invited you to that camping trip?"
"No, I've gotten over it - most of it," replied Dr. Wily as he made his way down the basement steps. "I'm just here to discourage you from..."
"I know what you're up to, N. Tropy!" Tawna said to the evil genius as she kicked Dr. Wily down the stairs. "You're trying to build a machine just so you could take over the world!"
"Me? Take over the world with this machine?" N. Tropy chortled at Tawna, as Fox and Falco entered the basement and saw N. Tropy. "Preposterous! I was invited to this lovely mansion by Cloud Strife to help with...some matters of his."
"Wow, he's even bluer in person," Fox whispered to Falco, as he and the avian pilot got a first-hand look at N. Tropy. "And his whiskers are on point."
Fox: So Dr. N. Tropy's skin turned blue from constant time traveling? You sure he didn't suffer from extreme hypothermia? What about being a secret relative of the Fugates? I think you guys should do some more research.
"Back off, Tawna - N. Tropy is my target, not yours!" said a recovered Cortex as he entered the basement, armed with his ray gun. "Now is my time to..."
"Seriously, Cortex, aren't you supposed to be in jail?" Cloud asked the evil genius, as Link and Rex entered the basement. "Link, why is Cortex here?"
"I might've freed him from his jail cell..." Link confessed, as he dug into his pocket and pulled out the key Cloud had given him. "...with this key. He looked miserable in there, okay?"
"Dr. N. Tropy, is this your time machine?" Dr. Wily asked as he got up and saw the Rift Generator. "I highly advise you not to use it..."
"Too bad, because I'm powering it on," replied N. Tropy, bringing Dr. Wily's attention to Mega Man who was charging up the Rift Generator. "Not a thing you can do about it."
"Egad! Why are you doing this? Do you know how dangerous time traveling is? Why are you going through with this machine?!"
"If you wish to know one of the answers...Mario and seven others are somewhere lost in time and space, and this machine will help retrieve them."
"Mario is lost in time in space?! This is what I'm talking about! Time traveling is dangerous, even for you! Look at what happened to your skin!"
"Enough talking, boys...I'm here to kick some butt!" said Tawna as she got in a fighting stance, sizing up N. Tropy. "Better start saying your prayers. N. Tropy!"
"Everyone, hold it...I think something's happening!" Mega Man alerted everyone in the basement, as the Rift Generator was powering on. N. Tropy couldn't be any happier. ". see a portal generating..."
Ezio led Mario and company through Barcelona, hoping to reach the giant rift in time. Instead of traveling on foot like normal people, everyone was climbing across buildings, which made Mario feel uneasy.
"In case you aren't aware, this is my preferred method of getting around the city," Ezio said to the others, jumping from building to building. Folks like Sonic found maneuvering to be quite easy, but for Mario? Not so much.
"I think we can already tell..." replied Lucina, as she noticed that Mario was the only person struggling to keep up. Mario was falling behind, as his fear of heights was holding him back.
"Keep up the pace, Mario, or we won't make it in time," Ness said to the plumber, clearly seeing how nervous he was. It alarmed Ness seeing Mario so nervous about jumping from building to building.
"I know, I know..." responded Mario, trying not to wear too much worry on his face. Fortunately for the plumber, Ezio commanded everyone to stop, as he halted at the edge of a building.
"I have found it," announced Ezio, as everyone looked over the edge of the building and saw a giant rift down below. Mario gulped very nervously. "It's all the way down there."
"Alright, you guys, it's now or never!" Sora said to the others, trying to get everybody pumped up. "We can make this big jump! Right, Mario?"
"Right..." Mario nervously replied, not inspiring much confidence - especially since he was supposed to lead his friends back home.
"We have found you!" a voice called out to Ezio, who turned around and saw a bunch of Spanish soldiers staring him down. "Thought you could land on our watchtower without making the smallest sound? Turn yourself in, assassin!"
"Those are Rodrigo Borgio's men..." Ezio informed Mario and company, drawing out his weapon as Borgio's soldiers did the same. "...I will hold them off. All of you jump through that portal!"
"Don't have to tell us that twice," said Coco, as she and Crash were the first to leap down while Ezio did battle with Borgio's soldiers. Aku, Young Link, Ness, Sora, and Lucina followed after the bandicoot's lead.
"Just so you know, we can't leave you behind!" Sonic told Mario - who was having some very strong second doubts - before the hedgehog jumped off the building and fell below. Mario shivered as he stood over the edge, peering at the giant rift down below.
"C'mon Mario, let's make a move already!" Cappy encouraged the plumber, refusing to be stuck in 15th century Spain forever. Imagine the weird looks Mario would get from the Spaniards.
"I'm not gonna do it," said Mario, standing his ground as he let his fear get the better of him. He and the cameraman were the only ones remaining.
"Think about Peach, man! Would she want her husband stuck in the past, all because he was a scaredy-cat? And what about your daughter - what would she think of her dad? Does she want her dad to be brave, or deathly afraid?"
"Brave...I've gotta be brave..." Cappy's encouraging words lit a fire under Mario's behind. Which, in a way, would be very chaotic if it literally happened. "...I've gotta be brave!"
"Go, hurry!" Ezio called out to Mario, as Borgio's soldiers were getting the best of him. Mario better act first, or he would be the soldiers' next target!
"Here-a goes nothing..." Without doing a running start, Mario (and the cameraman) jumped off the building, falling below. Mario screamed as he made his descent, as he (and the cameraman) made through the giant rift...right before it closed.
Where did Mario end up next? At least the plumber made it through the rift alive. Wherever he was, he was lying on the floor, with his talking hat just a few inches away from his face.
"Wake up, Mario!" Cappy said to the plumber, slapping him in the face. Mario opened his eyes, as he got real angry at Cappy.
"Alright, Cappy, that's-a it!" boomed Mario as he pulled himself off off the ground. "I'm gonna..." The plumber would stop speaking when he saw that he was now in the basement. With Cloud, Mega Man, Tawna, the doctors, and those he traveled through time with. Including the cameraman.
"Welcome back to the present, Mario," Link greeted the plumber, standing at the basement entrance with Rex, Fox, and Falco. Mario was flabbergasted, touching all over himself.
"I...I'm alive..." Mario then started touching everyone in sight, just to make sure that he wasn't a ghost. "...I really am alive! I did it, you guys - I conquered-a my fear of heights!"
"You had a fear of heights?" Sonic asked Mario, who was doing a happy dance - one that was similar to Luigi's. "Please tell me you're joking..."
"No, I think he had an actual fear," replied Coco as Mario tried to do his happy dance with Cloud, only for Cloud to back away. "Maybe he had a really bad nightmare or something."
Luigi: Mario got over his fear of heights? Darn it! All-a of my bragging rights, gone in one-a week! Tell me who helped-a Mario get over his fear, so I can send-a them some hate mail...
"Sheesh...you've got to be the shortest human I've ever seen," Tawna said to Mario, who shrieked as he jumped back. "Didn't mean to scare you like that..."
"Chill out Mario, it's just Tawna Bandicoot from an alternate universe," stated Cloud, as Tawna smiled and clicked her fingers at Mario. "That's what Dr. N. Tropy told me."
"She's certified butt-kicker, I can say that..." remarked N. Tropy, nursing a black eye; Tawna gave him one while the Rift Generator powered up. Speaking of which, the Rift Generator powered on thanks to Mega Man, as the rift that Mario and company went through was still present.
"Got the Rift Generator up and running for you, Dr. N. Tropy!" Mega Man notified the evil genius, before closing the rift. "What should we do now?"
"That's all there needs to be done, Mega Man," replied N. Tropy, who was satisfied with how his machine worked. "I'll just leave it here for Cloud to use..."
"Um, I don't think so," interjected Dr. Wily, who was scared of the Rift Generator's full capabilities. "Time travel is a huge risk!"
"The Rift Generator is staying put here," affirmed Cloud, laying down the law. That's what any man of the mansion would do. "Not like N. Tropy can just take it anywhere."
"Are you crazy?" Tawna asked Cloud as she pointed at N. Tropy, knowing what the evil genius was all about. "That man is evil! And you want to keep a machine he built in this basement?"
"I trusted N. Tropy enough to let him come to the mansion and build his machine here. Which is why I'm keeping the Rift Generator in this basement."
"Fine, go ahead, do whatever you want..." Tawna walked away from Cloud, throwing her arms up in defeat. "Trust the evil time lord, why don't you...guess I'll just go back home, then."
"Going home so soon?" Aku asked Tawna, who looked over and smiled when she saw Crash and Coco standing by. Tawna spoke with the bandicoots while Mario was "unconscious" earlier.
"You know what...maybe I can hang around for just a bit. Got a lot of catching up to do..."
Even though the Rift Generator was now working, Uka was still unconscious. Cortex brought Uka to his room, holding the mask in his hands while sitting on his bed.
"Hope he's not dead," Cortex said to his pet goose, who was pecking at the lifeless Uka; Cortex brushed the goose away. "I mean, I wouldn't complain, but things wouldn't be the same without Uka..."
"He will be conscious eventually," said a certain evil genius, as Cortex looked up and saw N. Tropy standing at the doorway with N. Gin. "Just give him some time to gather up his energy."
"Yeah, like I should listen to you...you may have won Cloud's trust with your Rift Generator, N. Tropy, but mark my words..."
"If you're trying to one-up me, don't think about it. I will always be better than you." Cortex stomped his foot angrily, as N. Tropy walked away. N. Gin stayed behind, still wanting to catch up with Cortex.
"Can we braid each other's hair, Master Cortex?" N. Gin asked the evil genius, who angrily took off his shoe and threw it at N. Gin, making him run away.
After spending most of his day in the basement, Cloud went to the gaming room to unwind. Pit would find Cloud in the gaming room, having some very good news to share.
"Lemme guess, it's about the delivery service," Cloud said to Pit, watching as the angel came over. Pit was all smiles, as he sat on the couch next to Cloud.
"We reached the $10,000 mark!" announced Pit, as Cloud was pleased to hear the news. He knew that Pit and Lloyd's hard work would pay off. "Or, did we pass the $10,000 mark? Eh, either or."
"Good to hear. Sounds like Lloyd delivering healthy food to people in Seattle was a success."
"It kinda was. Though, we got a little 'assist' to reach our big goal."
Dingodile: It's official...I'm going to be cooking healthy food from now on. If it means avoiding a second shutdown. I let Pit and Anna take the remaining funds, so I can start over from scratch. What does Pit even need the money for, I wonder...?
Toad: I felt bad for what happened to Dingodile. I showed him a little sympathy, and Pit and Lloyd shook their heads at me. What's so wrong with having empathy?
"So, Cloud, what's with that machine in the basement?" Aerith asked the swordsman as she came over; Cloud gulped nervously. "Saw a peek of it since the basement door was kicked down."
"It's a time machine," replied Cloud, and that was as much as he would allow Aerith to hear. "Thought that the mansion could use one."
"The teleportation device isn't enough, huh?" Aerith smiled, as Cloud let out a small sigh of relief. "Guess that explains why you were always in the basement."
"Yeah, I was checking to see how much space we had available. I like to plan ahead of time..."
With Peach having the master bedroom all for herself, nights have been pretty lonely. The princess fluffed the pillows in her bedroom, thinking how lonely his nights were, only to hear footsteps up the stairs.
"Oh, Princess-a Peach..." said Mario, before entering his bedroom after ascending the stairs. Peach gasped happily as she dropped her pillow. "...I'm back!"
"Mario!" Peach squealed with delight, as she ran up to Mario and gave him a big hug. "You're finally climbing the stairs again!"
"That's right - an assassin from-a 15th-century Spain helped me conquer my fear." Peach stopped hugging Mario, looking at the plumber weirdly. "I traveled-a through time. You like long-a stories?"
Tawna had spent the rest of her day with Crash and Coco (but not Crunch, who was busy), and was now ready to head back home. The bandicoot was ready to say her goodbyes, standing on the porch with Crash and Coco.
"Sure you don't wanna head back to your universe?" Coco asked Tawna, who was more than ready to leave. "Dr. Wily can send you back home!"
"Nah...think I'm gonna stick around for a while," replied Tawna, brushing her hand through her hair. "Travel around the world or something. Maybe I'll see you guys again!"
"We sure hope so. If you find any treasure, you can share some with us...but hey, that's just a suggestion."
"Ha! I'll think about it." Tawna took out a hookshot, holding it towards a tree behind her. "You two stay safe!"
Tawna fired her hookshot at the tree, using it to swing away from mansion premises. Fox, Falco, and Link stepped outside, joining Crash and Coco out on the porch.
"She has a hookshot...?" Link frowned, watching as Tawna used her hookshot to maneuver away from the mansion. He would be feeling very jealous if he didn't have a hookshot himself.
"You wouldn't believe the things she used it on," Fox said to Link, as he and Falco were happy that Tawna was gone. "Girl was quite the handful..."
While Tawna left the mansion, N. Tropy returned to the establishment, for he had something to share with Cloud. The evil genius would spot Cloud in the hallway, as the swordsman exited the bathroom.
"Dr. N. Tropy," said Cloud, startled to see the evil genius standing by as he closed the bathroom door. "You almost scared me..."
"That must mean I did something right," replied N. Tropy, before looking around to see if anyone was nearby. "Jokes aside, I've returned to tell you a tidbit about the Rift Generator."
"I'm all ears. So what's up?" Before he could speak, N. Tropy looked around the hallway a second time.
"Not only can the generator access events from the past...but it can also access alternate timelines."
"Alternate timelines, huh? What good would that be for the project?"
"If for any reason the project is a failure...you can just pull out an Aerith from a different timeline."
"An Aerith from a different...wouldn't that disrupt the time parameters?"
"There may be some shenanigans - as expected when it comes to matters of time - but this should ONLY be a failsafe option."
"So only do it if the original plan fails. Got it. Thanks for the tip, doctor." An alternate timeline Aerith...now that would be something.
Dr. Wily: The Rift Generator...has me worried, I won't lie. My biggest hope is that it will be used in the right hands, not the wrong hands. Time travel can get pretty messy. And when I say the wrong hands...I'm putting Cloud in that category.
