Author's Note:
Hello! Do you like dungeon crawler video games? Especially roguelike ones with a Greek mythology theme to them? If you answered yes to both of those questions, then you've probably heard of the highly-acclaimed video game, Hades. Which features Zagreus, who you might recognize as the main character. Zagreus never appeared in Smash Life when Hades was released on the Switch (since I was still doing some catching up after my return from hiatus), but with the game coming to the PS5 and Xbox One, Zagreus can make his long-awaited debut. Better late than never. Kinda like last week's chapter. Now to the guest reviews - there's one review, from Romance enjoyed, that I sadly overlooked:
"I can't help but remind you about a girl Dedede likes in Episode 240, I think. Do we know who the mysterious girl is? I hope we'll found out sooner."
I could've revealed the identity of that girl, but I couldn't think of one. With King Dedede showing Steve how to be a "model boyfriend", the mystery girl may reappear and you will know her identity. The Reader has a question about the previous chapter:
"Is [the last] chapter set before or after [the USA men's basketball team] gold medal match?"
It was set before the match took place. Had Team USA lost, it would've made writing much of this chapter...awkward. On to David:
"Will you do a Super Robot Wars 30th anniversary chapter when the game comes out this year? (Best use the Original Generation characters for that one). Do you think Cloud, Lightning, or Noctis is the Roman Reigns of the Final Fantasy series? (Weird question I know). Will the main universe Tawna Bandicoot show up and meet her alternate self? A Fatal Frame chapter? (Since the Wii U game is getting a Switch port). And finally, what are your thoughts on the WWE's mass firings going on lately? (NXT being hit the hardest)."
Another series with a 30th anniversary?! Yeah, I might be able to squeeze in a Super Robot Wars chapter. I'd like to think of Cloud as the Roman Reigns of the Final Fantasy universe. Main universe Tawna might meet with her alternate self one day. There will be a Fatal Frame chapter later this year. And I wasn't too shocked by the recent mass firings from WWE - most of the guys and gals released were either old or weren't doing that much on NXT. Speaking of NXT, I've seen rumors about changing up the show, so it'll be interesting what changes will be made, if any. A JRPG enjoyer has a question about Nah:
"If Nah is doing well, where is she during the beach relaxation last week? Is Nowi hanging out too much with Captain Falcon, causing Nah to stay with her mom?"
Guess you could say that Nah wasn't at the beach since she was with her mom, Nowi. Who was probably hanging out with Captain Falcon. I have a hard time visualizing Nah away from Nowi...is that weird? Last is Bowser327, with a Jojo-themed chapter idea:
"As a distraction to Master Hand's investigation, he has Larry do a Jojo's Bizarre Adventure All-Stars play for all of the Mansion and Tower residents!"
This play won't be a distraction to the investigation, but it could happen later down the road. I've gone over the cast in your review, some very solid choices...Dio might be the hardest character to cast, all things considered.
Episode 295: Zagreus
Only one fighter left to be revealed in Smash. It was a mystery who it could be. For many weeks, folks have speculated who the last fighter could be. Unfortunately, some hopefuls had their dreams dashed.
Waluigi? Forever destined to be an assist trophy. Rex? Had to watch his friends Pyra and Mythra make it into Smash over him. Rayman? Never came close to making the final cut. Dante? He got a Mii costume, but that was about it. Some big names were still in the running - Phoenix Wright and Crash Bandicoot, among others - but the identity of the final character was still a mystery.
Master Hand, who was usually responsible for adding new folks to the Smash fray, couldn't be bothered with extending an invitation to the final character. Or at least for today. The giant hand invited the USA men's basketball team from the Olympics (and their coach) to Seattle, calling for a celebration for the team winning the gold at the Tokyo Summer Olympics. He had the team travel to Seattle on a bus, just so they could enjoy whatever he had planned for them. Now, someone might argue that Master Hand appreciated the basketball team a bit too much...
"There he is, Master Hand, I saw him out in the open!" Shulk said to the giant hand, bringing him outside to the team bus that was parked in the driveway. Kneeling at the side of the bus was Cuphead, who was puncturing a hole in the bus wheels.
"Huh? What?" said Cuphead as he dropped his tools to the ground - a sharp knife and some nails. "Saw me in broad daylight doing what?"
"Cuphead, how could you?!" Master Hand scolded the talking cup, in complete and utter disbelief that one of his residents would even dare to commit such a despicable act. "How could you be so sadistic?"
"You asked me specifically to pop the tires in the bus..." Cuphead eyed around the front yard, wondering why Master Hand was putting him on blast.
"Do you want the basketball team to stay with us forever? I understand if you like certain players, but they have lives to live, man. Families to get back to! You can't force them to stay in Seattle forever."
"Well, that wasn't what you told me before you asked me to..." Cuphead refused to argue with Master Hand, as he picked up his tools and left. "...forget about it, this isn't my problem anymore."
"I feel like I must apologize for Cuphead's behavior," Master Hand said to Shulk as Cuphead went back inside the mansion. "This type of behavior should not be tolerated on mansion grounds."
Shulk: Can't help but feel that Master Hand has been acting very weird the past couple of weeks. First, he went to Tokyo just to have a "honeymoon" with a Gold Mario statue. Then he got a scientist from Talon to move the mansion to Tokyo for the Olympics. Almost gave the man an aneurysm, he could've killed him! Thankfully the scientist guy was able to bring us back to Tokyo; he was still recovering from his brain trauma in the hospital by the time Master Hand approached him.
Tom Nook: Been back in Seattle since the Olympics ended, thank goodness...but I'm still suffering from some form of jet lag. Those sleeping pills would've come in handy right now. But I still have my eyes on Master Hand. He might've been MIA in Tokyo, but I won't let him leave my sight now that I'm back home.
Master Hand: You're asking me if I vanished? From the mansion, yeah, but not from Tokyo. I spoke with the International Olympic Committee and asked them to release the athletes into Tokyo - but they just ignored me! Those were some very brave souls in that conference room - did they have any idea who they were talking to?
"Mama mia! What-a happened to the tires?" Mario asked Master Hand and Shulk as he came over, seeing the flattened tires on the bus. The plumber knew that the players would not be pleased, especially Wayne.
"That numskull Cuphead did it!" replied Master Hand as he put all the blame on Cuphead, while also deflecting any amount of blame from himself. "That miscreant woke up and chose violence, for some reason."
"That is so unlike-a Cuphead...but don't worry. I have an air pump at my house; I can pump-a some air into the wheels." So Mario went to his house, as he went to go retrieve his air pump.
"Stay right here until Mario returns, Shulk," Master Hand commanded the Homs before he floated away. "Make sure no one scratches on the bus or something. Or pee on the bus. Or defecate on the...you know." A second later, Master Hand vanished.
Remaining at the driveway, Shulk whistled a happy tune to himself as he waited for Mario to return with the air pump. The Homs wouldn't be alone for long, as a pale man with black hair and different-colored eyes walked to the mansion. He looked like a Greek god...in fact, he was a Greek god.
"Ah, the Smash Mansion...what a glorious establishment," the Greek god admired as he looked up at the mansion, analyzing it from top to bottom. Shulk stopped whistling his happy tune as he looked over at the visitor.
"Hey there buddy!" the Homs greeted the Greek god as he waved to him; the Greek god was taken aback by Shulk's friendliness. "You new around here? The name's Shulk!"
"It is a fine pleasure to meet you Shulk. My name is Zagreus; I am the son of Hades." Immediately thinking of Hades of Kid Icarus fame, Shulk jumped back in sudden fear.
"Y-You're Hades' son?!" Shulk was backed up against the bus, fearing that Zagreus might impale him with the sword he held over his shoulder. "Why didn't anyone tell me that he had a son?"
"You know my father? Tell me, has he left the Underworld?" Zagreus was in a curious state of mind, as he wanted some answers from Shulk. But Shulk was too afraid to comply.
"Man, I really should stop-a leaving this air pump behind the toilet..." remarked Mario as he walked to the bus, only to stop when he saw Zagreus a few feet away from him. "...Shulk, who's-a that?"
"Th-That's Hades' son!" Shulk replied with a stammer, as Zagreus turned around and saw Mario. Couldn't believe how short the plumber was. "Said that his name was Zagreus!"
"Okay, but why is his feet-a on fire?" Mario looked down at Zagreus' feet, seeing that the blazing flames on them were burning the grass. "What's your big-a deal, buddy?"
"You must be the famous Mario I've heard stories about," Zagreus said to Mario, before approaching the plumber and bowing down on one knee in respect. Mario felt both honored and confused at the same time. "Truly an honor to see you in the flesh."
"Someone's been telling stories about-a me? Oh ho ho..." Mario felt extremely flattered, smiling to himself as Shulk slowly began to ease up on Zagreus.
"Not just you - Link, Donkey Kong, Pikachu, I've heard stories about them as well. And now, I'm here to see if such stories are true."
Zagreus: Spent much of my time trying to escape from my father and the Underworld...and by gods, I've somehow found a way. Through my entrance into the Overworld, I met a demon hunter who spoke of the Smash Mansion. Also spoke highly of the so-called legendary fighters that lived there. I've been looking for a place of residence for some time now...and the Smash Mansion just might be my home.
"I ask of you, Mario, is there I way that I can gain residency in the mansion?" Zagreus asked the plumber, as he wanted nothing more than to be a mansion resident. Master Hand would be most pleased by Zagreus' desire.
"I think you're asking the wrong guy, buddy," Shulk said to Zagreus, no longer afraid of the Greek god as he stepped away from the bus. "You should speak with Master Hand - he usually runs the mansion."
"Silly Shulk, I highly doubt-a that Master Hand would..." Mario replied before he paused, as an interesting thought crept into his head. "...actually, I think that Master Hand would give-a you a chance, Zagreus!"
"Really? You really think so?" asked Zagreus, getting all excited as he stood back up. He was getting one step closer to achieving his goal. "Is there any chance that Master Hand could make me a fighter in Smash?"
"Well, there's only one-a fighter left..." The probability of Master Hand making Zagreus the final fighter, especially on such late notice, was extremely low. "...but if you made a convincing enough-a case, you might win him over."
"Then win him over I shall!" Zagreus clenched his fist, with his eyes on the prize - as Mario was now afraid that he might've set Zagreus up for failure. "I shall plead my case to Master Hand, and achieve mansion residency. And Smash status!"
"Right...let me pump-a these wheels first, then we'll talk with-a Master Hand." So Mario went over to the bus with his air pump and starting pumping away, while Zagreus fantasized about being in Smash. "What have I done...?"
As stated earlier, the men's basketball team was at the mansion, and the players were around the mansion doing their own thing. The best player on the team, Wayne, was even a special guest on Microwave Idol Mamorin! What was on the menu, you ask? Snake. And no, it wasn't Metal Gear Solid Snake. Have some common sense.
"So just to be clear, this isn't your first time eating a fried snake," Ashley said to Wayne, as Mamori had a fried snake presented on a plate. By far the strangest thing Mamori and friends prepared on their show.
"I've had it before, but on a different web show," replied Wayne, as Mamori, Ashley, and Asuka all looked at the basketball player with haughty eyes. "Why are y'all looking at me like that?"
"This web show...wasn't better than our show, was it?" Mamori asked Wayne, as some self-consciousness about Microwave Idol Mamorin's success was slowly creeping in into her. Wayne had to choose his words carefully.
"It was the best web show that I was on...until this one." And just like that, Mamori and Asuka sighed in relief; Ashley had very little reaction. "You three are a complete package."
"Keep it up, snake," quipped one of Wayne's teammates, Armani, standing at the kitchen entrance as he watched Wayne on Microwave Idol Mamorin with an amused smile. Armani turned around and was startled to see Snake standing behind him.
"Just so we're clear...I'm the original Snake around here," Snake said to Armani, letting the basketball player know what was up, before looking past him as he took a peek inside the kitchen. "Is that seriously a fried snake?"
Wayne: That brown-haired girl with the pigtails and her friends have tried to get me on their show the past two times I was at the mansion. *sighs* They finally got me.
"MINOR INTERRUPTION, I REPEAT, MINOR INTERRUPTION!" shouted Champion Link, entering the kitchen as he appeared on camera waving his arms. "This episode of Microwave Idol Mamorin has been..."
"How can you call it a 'minor interruption' if you were screaming at the top of your lungs?" questioned Ashley, as Mamori did not appreciate her episode being put on pause. "Shouldn't you have whispered instead?"
"Not talking to you..." Champion Link muttered at Ashley with a frown, before turning his attention to Wayne. Wayne could just sense that something bad was afoot - and it had to do with him. "...Link wants to see you at the computer room."
"How long do you need him for?" Asuka asked Champion Link, as Wayne wasn't nearly opposed to leaving Microwave Idol Mamorin. He felt that he was too manly to be on the show anyway. "We're almost done with our episode."
"He'll be gone just for a hot minute." With Mamori and Asuka hoping that Champion Link was speaking the truth (and Ashley not caring that much), Champion Link turned his attention back to Wayne. "Let's go."
"Hope it's not Master Hand-related..." muttered Wayne as he followed Champion Link out of the kitchen through the kitchen entrance, past Snake and Armani. Armani, feeling oddly intrigued, followed after the two.
Champion Link took Wayne to the computer room, where Link was sitting in front of a computer with many folks gathered around behind him. Among the folk were two of Wayne's teammates, Jamal and Lindy, and both looked distressed. Lindy was even facepalming.
"There they are, right there," said Peppy as he pointed at the screen, as Link clicked on the mouse to zoom in. A few gasps were heard. "In broad daylight!"
"Hey, Link, I got him," Champion Link notified the fellow Hylian, who looked over and saw Wayne. Everyone else was looking at Wayne, making him feel like some kind of villain.
"What, did I do something bad?" inquired Wayne, before taking a brief moment to look around for any signs of Master Hand. "Did someone leak my mixtape online? Thought I deleted it forever..."
"There's some incriminating footage of you online," Link explained to Wayne, who hustled his way over to the computer to take a look for himself. "Footage of you wandering around in Tokyo, outside the Olympic Village."
"You don't mean..." Wayne's fears were soon realized, as he saw video footage of Lindy, Jamal, Genevieve, Remel, and himself lurking around a temple in Tokyo with Joker and Pit. "...no way, this can't be right."
"Looks like you and the others have been caught, boss," Polar Bear said to Wayne, who couldn't believe what he was watching. Also couldn't believe how high-quality the footage was. Japan sure had some high standards for security footage.
"Sup fellas, what's going on?" asked Armani as he finally showed up at the computer room. He saw everyone gathered around the computer, and knew that some controversy was afoot.
"These three got caught outside the village," Junpei explained to Armani, as he pointed at Wayne, Jamal, and Lindy; Armani tried not to feel guilty, for he was playing basketball in downtown Japan. "Got caught in 4K!"
"That's weird, I don't see them swimming in karat gold," stated Slippy, as Peppy resisted the urge to backhand the frog silly for his foolishness. "The title of the video lied! Fake news at its finest!"
Slippy: Yes, I know what 4K means. Why wouldn't I, I'm a tech genius! And besides, Peppy did promise that he would buy a 4K television set for our room. He did buy a new TV, but we're still waiting on the gold one. Maybe it was just out of Peppy's price range.
Peppy: I keep telling Slippy that our new TV is in 4K...he just won't listen.
"Me and the fellas were playing on some basketball court in Tokyo," Armani admitted to Wayne, Jamal, and Lindy, trying to make his Olympic teammates feel somewhat better. "Played against Mario and his squad. It was only just a couple of us, though."
"Did you at least beat Mario?" Bowser asked Armani, who looked to the side as he awkwardly scratched the back of his head. Bowser was so disappointed. "You should never pick up a basketball again!"
"That means there must be footage of us as well..." Link said to Armani, feeling some guilt as he buried his face in his hands. It looked like three-fourths of the men's basketball team was in hot water.
"Look, going on that tour really wasn't our fault," stated Jamal, as he knew just what individual was deserving of blame. "It was enforced by Master Hand. You guys already know how he can be."
"Master Hand was very gung-ho about letting the Olympic athletes explore Tokyo," remarked Peppy as he reflected on a few conversations involving Master Hand that she eavesdropped upon. "Would explain why he had the mansion moved close to the village."
"Either way, we can't let these guys get in trouble," said Link, only to realize that there were two other Olympians that needed their names cleared. "What about those two swimmers?"
"I could bring them over with the teleportation device," volunteered Mega Man, who knew the necessary coordinates to bring Genevieve and Remel back to the mansion. "Should be a piece of cake."
So with all this hoopla surrounding Wayne and the other Olympians going on a tour around Tokyo...how did the tour guide (Joker) and his plucky assistant (Pit) feel about it? As of now, both Pit and Joker were out of the loop about being caught on camera, as they were operating Cafe Leblanc. While Joker had no qualms about doing the tour - even if he felt uncomfortable at certain points - he had a lingering question in the back of his head.
"Why do you think those Turks were in Tokyo?" Joker asked Pit, while he cleaned off the counter with a white tablecloth. The young man would've asked Pit sooner, but he would've preferred to ask someone smarter.
"To proudly represent their country of Turkey, you silly goose!" Pit heartily replied, giving out the kind of answer that Joker honestly expected. Pit was no different from how Don acted in the previous episode.
"No, I'm not talking about the Turkish athletes...I meant the Turks. You know, those guys in the black suits. Why do you think that the guys delivering ice cream were chasing them down?"
"Maybe Popo wanted to upsell Turks with some ice cream, but the Turks were stubborn about it. Unstoppable force meets immovable object...or something like the lines of that."
"sounds like those turks were acting like a bunch of turkeys," joked Sans, attempting to brighten the mood with his light-hearted joke. Needless to say his effort, just like most of the other times, didn't work.
"Save the turkey jokes for Thanksgiving, Sans..." Joker advised the skeleton before he saw Tom Nook enter the cafe. Tom Nook was a frequent visitor at Cafe Leblanc, and Joker and Pit were always happy to serve him. "...hello, Tom Nook! What can I do for you?"
"I heard you boys speaking about the Turks," Tom Nook said to Pit and Joker as he hopped on one of the barstools near the counter. "I take it that you saw them in Tokyo, yes?"
"I chased one of them down!" exclaimed Pit, as he was more than happy to tell Tom Nook about his efforts in chasing Rude. "But then I got distracted. Stupid clothing store putting up items on layaway!"
"Wait...Pit, are you implying that you stole from a store? As a foreigner?" The mansion was bound to be in a lot of trouble from Pit shoplifting - aside from the whole tour fiasco.
"Stole? No way. That stuff was out there for free! Surprised that none of the shoppers grabbed any free stuff." Now would've been a perfect time for Pit to show off his Pikachu onesie...which he stole.
"...about the Turks, we saw them go up inside some spaceship," Joker explained to Tom Nook, who tried to imagine the Turks going into any sort of UFO. "Admittedly, it was strange to see in person, but it happened."
"The Turks did capture an alien a few weeks ago, did they not?" asked Tom Nook, one of the few residents to acknowledge that alien activity took place on mansion grounds. "He must be their own personal chauffeur."
"an alien chauffeur? that's out of this world," remarked Sans, as he absolutely had to make a joke. Tom Nook wanted to reprimand the skeleton but just didn't have the energy to do it.
"Mario and I are currently running an investigation to see if Master Hand was involved in terrorist funding," Tom Nook discussed with Joker and Pit, as the thought of Master Hand being a terrorist intrigued the cafe baristas. "I suspect that the Turks might have similar suspicions..."
"What institution would Master Hand even want to terrorize...?" wondered Joker, and soon enough the only viable building came to mind. "You think he tried to target the All-Star Manor?"
"In the past, yes. I assume that his ambitions are long gone now, but his bank account is frozen, which has to mean something. I just wonder where Master Hand gets his money from!"
"Funny, I wonder the same thing myself...it is quite a mystery." Surely other residents aside from Joker and Tom Nook had their own doubts about how Master Hand got bread. "How about we keep in touch?"
"Duly noted. If anything major arises, I'll make sure to let you and Pit know. Now before I go...how about some coffee?"
In the last episode, Falco had a chance encounter with Lamonte at Rodin's maid cafe and gave the basketball player a Star Records business card. Falco expected Lamonte to stop by the Star Records room with the men's basketball team in town. While Falco was anxious to see Lamonte, Fox, on the other hand, was not - he was still reeling from the Gex fallout.
"Man, I can't believe that you almost dragged your marriage through the mud for Gex," Falco said to Fox, who was sitting at the Star Records desk brooding to himself. Falco had seemingly got over Gex. "I wouldn't know - I've barely even come close to proposing to my girl."
"Ten years later when you're still single, we'll find out what went wrong between you and Katt," responded Fox, as Falco wanted to fire back with a rebuttal but was cut in too deep to respond. Just mention Katt around Falco, and you could shut that pilot up real quick.
"Fox, Falco, we have a visitor," Itsuki informed the pilots as he stepped inside the Star Records room; both Fox and Falco perked up. "Come in," Itsuki called out as he looked outside the room, and soon Lamonte followed the young man inside.
"So this is where business is done..." remarked Lamonte as he took a brief look around the Star Records room, noticing the posters of the idol singers plastered on the walls. "...don't know why you guys don't have your own building, but I can respect it."
"Ay, you made it!" exclaimed Falco as he excitedly went over to Lamonte and gave the basketball player some dap. Fox looked amazed, perplexed as to how Falco managed to reel in Lamonte.
Itsuki: After what went down with Gex, we promised not to sign new talent until further notice...frankly, Falco didn't get the memo. But at least the man he picked out has some respectable talent. The jury will forever remain out on Gex.
"Come here, have a seat," Falco invited Lamonte over as he had him take a seat at the Star Records desk. Lamonte was face-to-face with Fox, whose mood was starting to brighten. "You know who that is, sitting in front of you?"
"Fox McCloud, nice to meet you," Fox introduced himself to Lamonte as he eagerly shook hands with the basketball player. Falco dropped his jaw, as he couldn't believe what his friend had just done.
"Dang it Fox, you spoiled the answer for him!" Appalled by Fox's friendly business candor, Falco groaned. "This is why you're never really fun at parties. Most parties, that is."
"I hear that you're a really good rapper," Itsuki said to Lamonte, trying to spark a conversation with him. "For a basketball player, that is." Taking Itsuki's remark personally, Lamonte stood up from his chair and confronted the young man.
"What do you mean by that, fool?" Lamonte asked Itsuki, who was nervously backing away; Itsuki nearly picked a fight with the wrong guy.
"It was...a joke! Yes, just a joke..." Save himself from some trouble and harm, Itsuki walked over to a window as he kept his distance from Lamonte. "...Falco wanted you over, so how about you speak with him and Fox."
"Hmph..." Continuing to have a close eye on Itsuki, Lamonte sat back down in his seat. Itsuki was still feeling nervous, as he gulped loudly.
"Not that often that we have A-listers over at the mansion," Fox said to Lamonte, as he wanted to classify Gex as an A-lister. But things were different now. "Thought we were on the verge of signing one..."
"Oh really? Y'all want an A-lister?" Lamonte scratched his chin, having a deal that he knew the pilots wouldn't refuse. "What if I sign with Star Records?"
"You would do that?!" Fox asked Lamonte as he nearly fell over the Star Records desk. Falco nearly fell out of his seat. "You would sign with us?"
"Sure, why not? We can have some contract negotiations, discuss some important details. You wanna have negotiations here, or..."
"Lloyd is opening up his sauna today, supposedly..." stated Falco as he stroked his beak; the thought of being at a sauna intrigued Lamonte. "...we could have negotiations there. Relax and unwind."
"Okay, I can play by your terms. We'll get some steam and talk about Star Records' future. Fine by me."
Done with his coffee break, Tom Nook headed down to the foyer as he was on his way to speak with Mario. He would conveniently find the plumber in the foyer, with Zagreus and Mr. Game and Watch.
"So this is another one of the legendary fighters?" Zagreus asked Mario as he took a very long look at Mr. Game and Watch, who was about to start his groundskeeping duties. "I can't help but feel that he's too...flat."
"Is there a way that you could turn off the flames on your feet?" Mr. Game and Watch asked Zagreus as he was staring down at the Greek god's blazing feet. "Might be a potential fire hazard."
"At least this mansion has hard-a wood flooring," responded Mario with a casual shrug, not thinking much about Zagreus' feet. Soon Tom Nook came over to Mario, greatly intrigued by Zagreus' presence.
"Mario, who is this?" the tanuki asked the plumber as he pointed at Zagreus. Zagreus looked at Tom Nook, not seeing very much "legendary fighter" potential in him.
"Oh, that is Zagreus - he's a Greek-a god from the Underworld." That made Tom Nook a little wary at first, but he could see that Zagreus was very friendly on the surface. "He wants-a to stay at the mansion."
"I would love nothing more than to be a part of this wonderful establishment," stated Zagreus - been a while since an outsider spoke so positively about the mansion. "And to be a fighter in Smash, as well."
"A fighter in Smash, this guy?" questioned Mr. Game and Watch, as he wondered how the others would vibe with Zagreus. "Would Master Hand even allow that?"
"I hate to be the bearer of bad news, Zagreus, but the final Smash fighter has already been..." Tom Nook was about to inform Zagreus before Mario grabbed the tanuki and pulled him over. Just so he could speak with him in private.
"Alright, hear-a me out, Tom Nook..." Mario whispered to the tanuki as he looked back at Zagreus, who was momentarily alone as Mr. Game and Watch left the foyer. "...we could use Zagreus to get Master Hand-a to speak."
"Speak how? We just use Zagreus to physically threaten Master Hand?" That was exactly what Mario had in mind, as the plumber nodded his head.
"Exactly! We'll tell-a Master Hand that Zagreus is a killing machine, working under our command, and the only way he would-a be spared is if he tells-a us about any terrorist-a ties. Or at least inform-a us about his bank account. Either or."
"Sounds very mean-spirited...but Zagreus is a god, like you said, so it could work. Master Hand is rarely afraid of mortal threats."
"Bingo. In regards-a to Zagreus being a resident, he'll just have-a to handle that himself." After their private conversation, Mario and Tom Nook returned to Zagreus, and they saw Mr. Game and Watch armed with a fire extinguisher as he tried to extinguish the flames on Zagreus' feet.
"There, that should do it," remarked Mr. Game and Watch, thinking that he got the job done as he took out the flames...only for said flames to come back with a roaring vengeance. "Dang it!"
"Those flames are forever intact, I'm afraid," Zagreus informed Mr. Game and Watch, before looking over and seeing Mario and Tom Nook gathered around. "Ah, Mario, you're back!"
"I was having a private-a discussion with Tom Nook," Mario said to Zagreus, as Mr. Game and Watch threw in the towel and tossed away his fire extinguisher. "Before we help-a you try and set up your mansion residency...how about-a you do us a little favor?"
"A favor, you say? If it means being one step closer to becoming a mansion resident...then so be it. I'll do whatever you ask of me."
Mega Man was in the teleportation room, having spent most of his time getting the teleportation device up and running. Once he got the device running, Mega Man put in the right coordinates to bring Genevieve and Remel back to the mansion.
"To think that this could've been easily avoided..." Mega Man muttered under his breath, and once the teleportation device was done doing its thing, one of the Olympics swimmers, Genevieve, was standing alone on the teleportation pad.
"Wait, is this..." said Genevieve as she got a good look at her surroundings, before seeing Remel sitting against a wall in the back of the room with his face buried in his hands. Mega Man's presence alone was the dead giveaway. "...oh no."
Mega Man: Bringing the swimmers back was easy since I apparently know where they live at. Master Hand likes to keep the personal info of all the Olympians he adores, and that includes pretty much every American and Japanese athlete that has ever been in the Olympics. Calling it creepy wouldn't do it nearly enough justice.
"Master Hand has got some serious issues..." groaned Remel, running his hands down his face as he dreaded being face-to-face with Master Hand again. He knew that it was inevitable.
"Yeah, I guess this is the part where I welcome you back to the mansion," Mega Man said to Genevieve, who saw how distressed Remel was and had some sympathy for him. "Sorry if you were busy."
"No, it's fine - hope I won't stick around for too long," Genevieve replied, trying to force a smile, and a few seconds later Master Hand appeared. The nightmare was about to begin...
"Mega Man! You brought back my two favorite people!" exclaimed Master Hand, as he felt like giving Mega Man the biggest bro hug ever. "Much appreciated - I was just thinking about starting the Master Hand Fan Club."
"Master Hand...Fan Club?" frowned Remel, who was beginning to fear for the worst; he couldn't be back at home any sooner. "Why are you starting a fan club...?"
"What I think you meant to say was, why are we starting a fan club." Master Hand must be fancying adding Remel and Genevieve to his exclusive fan club, and neither swimmer wanted any part of it. "I'm looking for new members as I speak."
"He already asked me, but I turned down the invite," Mega Man whispered to Genevieve; he was one of the first residents that Master Hand approached. "This is him in desperation mode."
"So, you two, how would you like to join the Master Hand Fan Club?" Master Hand extended an invitation to Genevieve and Remel, who were both more than extremely likely to say no. "You'll get free food! If I can afford it, that is."
"They're not here to join your stupid fan club, Master Hand," Mega Man told the giant hand, who gasped in shock as he did not appreciate Mega Man's word choice. "They both got caught touring outside the Olympic Village in Tokyo, so Link's gonna help them clear their name."
"I'm in danger of having my accreditation revoked..." Genevieve stated to Master Hand, as she lowered her head in sadness. Losing accreditation seemed like a very big deal to Genevieve...but it didn't look like that Master Hand cared.
"Yeah, same here," said Remel, standing up so he could give Master Hand a piece of his mind. "You forced us on that tour, Master Hand, and you screwed us over!"
"Accreditation? Are you two trying to reapply to college or something?" Master Hand asked Genevieve and Remel, being very insensitive to the problems that they were facing. "You don't need a college degree - you have gold medals!"
"They're talking about Olympic accreditation, Master Hand," Mega Man clarified to the giant hand, who was still out of the loop. Mega Man knew it too, as he sighed. "If they have their accreditation revoked, they might not be able to perform at the Paris Olympics!"
"Not able to perform at the Paris Olympics?!" And just like that, Master Hand suddenly cared. No way did he want to be responsible for messing over two of his favorite Olympians. "What do we do, what do we do?"
"Link said he's got it all covered." Link, obviously being the man of the mansion, gave Master Hand enough confidence that the situation would be handled carefully and resolved soon.
"Okay then, I'll take your word for it. How about you take our two guests somewhere where they won't be bothered?"
"Hopefully it's someplace outside of this mansion..." grumbled Remel, who had the same attitude as Wayne did - the further away he was from Master Hand, the better he would feel.
The ice cream gang was doing their usual business, going around in their van as they delivered ice instead of Seattle, the group took their business to nearby Renton...only because one of the players from the men's basketball team happened to be from Renton. That player being Tom.
"I, uh, have a gold medal," Tom showed off his gold medal to a man standing at his front door, with the Inklings behind him with some ice cream. "I'll let you touch it, but only if you buy some ice cream?"
"I'll take as many as you got!" the man happily exclaimed as he took out his wallet. He gave Tom some cash, and the Inklings gave him all the ice cream they had in their possession.
"Here you go, dude." Just as he promised, Tom handed over his gold medal to the man...and the man was biting on the medal, like it was a piece of French toast. Tom obviously didn't appreciate it one bit. "Hey, hey! Only I'm allowed to bite my medal like that..."
Tom: Love being back in Renton - it's my hometown and the place where I developed my love for basketball. I would like to see my folks back home, but Popo's holding me up by making me deliver ice cream. Which, honestly, isn't that bad! The ice cream, I mean. As for delivering the ice cream...hopefully, Popo thinks that I'm doing a decent job.
Popo: Meh...he's not using fear to make profits, but his presence alone is raking in the cash. At least he has that going on for him.
After getting his gold medal back from the man, Tom and the Inklings returned to the van where Popo and the others waited. Popo tried to hide his excitement as he saw the money in Tom's hands.
"Show me the moolah!" Popo said to Tom, who handed the Ice Climber the money. Popo was acting a lot like Ted DiBiase, stroking the money as if it was his boo thang.
"He usually acts like this with money," the female Inkling whispered to Tom about Popo, who was happily sniffing the money despite having no nose. It was hard for Nana to not judge Popo, while at the same time holding in her laughter.
"Alright, Popo, you can stop now," Sonic said to the Ice Climber, who finally ended his charade as he put the money away. Popo might sniff that money again later. "Now's not the time for you to embarrass yourself in public!"
"So...where are we off to next, Banjo?" Dante asked Banjo as he rubbed his in anticipation; Banjo took out a map of Renton, as he and Kazooie looked at it together.
"Uptown Renton doesn't seem too far from where we are..." replied Banjo, tracing his finger through the map. Crash, who was standing outside the van with Sonic and Aku, looked up at the sky and saw a UFO.
"Woah!" the bandicoot shouted as he pointed at the UFO; Sonic and Aku both looked up and saw the alien spacecraft in plain sight.
"Hey, it's the UFO we saw back in Tokyo," alerted Sonic as he brought everyone's attention to the UFO that was soaring across the sky. "The one that took the Turks away!"
"Yeah, I same that same UFO in that video one of my teammates showed me," remarked Tom, who saw raw footage of the UFO courtesy of Lindy. "The whole time I thought it was fake..."
"Believe it or not, Ripley...it's real," Dante said to Tom, watching as the UFO flew away; the vigilante couldn't let the spaceship get away. "You guys keep on delivering the ice cream - Sonic, Crash, and I will chase that UFO down. Those Turks must be in there."
"Why do Crash and I have to be UFO chasers?" whined Sonic, only for Dante to run down the street heading in the UFO's direction. Sonic sighed, as he and Crash walked away with Aku trailing behind them. "Totally didn't sign up for this..."
"Welp...looks like we're down a few men," stated Popo, with Nana hoping that delivering ice cream would be put on pause. Or, better yet, done for today. "But no matter - we can still reach today's quota without them." And just like that, Nana was met with bitter disappointment.
For weeks, months even, Lloyd promised the residents that he would build a sauna in the mansion with the money he accrued from his food delivery service. After sneaking out of the mansion into Tokyo, the swordsman visited a sauna, acquiring the vision of how he wanted his own sauna to look.
Thanks to the efforts of Mutoh and the Carpenters, Lloyd finally got his sauna built, and it was now time for the grand opening. Several male residents were standing outside near the beauty salon, waiting for the sauna to open. Three members of the men's basketball team were also present, in Edrice, Christopher, and Wilder, as their head coach joined them. We shall call coach their coach...Pop. Because he was an old man.
"Woah, what a decent crowd!" remarked Pop, feeling a little manly as he saw the male residents (and his players) gathered in the hallway. "You boys working together to get inside that sexist beauty salon?"
"Sup coach? We're just waiting for the sauna to open," Christopher said to Pop, as he and his teammates were noodling around on their phones to pass the time. "Some Lloyd Irving kid asked us to be the first to try it out."
"Lloyd asked all of us," Robin explained to Pop as he waited around with Chrom, who had quite the bone to pick with Lucina. "Fortunately for him, I didn't have anything better to do with my time...which was quite unfortunate for me."
"You know, Cloud, it was always a dream of mine to be in a sauna with you," Sora said to the swordsman, as he wrapped his arm around him; Cloud pushed Sora's arm away, and he was NOT gentle about it.
"Personally, I would've kept that to myself..." Cloud mumbled in response as he folded his arms; the swordsman was sure to keep his distance from Sora.
"Everybody quiet...here he is!" Little Mac shushed everyone, as Lloyd made his grand appearance. Lloyd was looking all proud and accomplished, as Colette accompanied him.
"Gentlemen...basketball players...creepy old man..." Lloyd greeted the residents, the basketball players, and Pop in that order; Pop gave the swordsman an angry scowl. "...I would first like to thank you all for coming today."
"Get on with it already," Kazuya rushed Lloyd, as he was already starting to lose his patience. "We don't have all day for your meaningless speech."
"I'm getting there, don't rush me! This sauna took a lot of blood, sweat, and tears...that mostly came from the Carpenters. I just financed the whole project. So, are you guys ready to see the new sauna?!"
"Yeah! Bring it on!" exclaimed Wario, as some of the other men were cheering. Others were chill, though you could assume who the usual suspects were.
"We're just in time," Fox said to Falco and Lamonte, showing up with his pals as Lloyd was about to open the sauna up for business. Lloyd had his hand on the door handle.
"Everyone on the count of three! Three..." Lloyd started the countdown, only to look disappointed when no one joined in. "I said three..." Lloyd tried a second time, and still no response from the crowd. "...bunch of party poopers. Three, two, one...OPEN SESAME!"
Lloyd opened the door, and everyone took a peek inside the sauna. The sauna for the most part looked legit - and it was even spacious enough to have multiple people at once. Everyone was impressed, even including dudes like Cloud and Pop.
Lloyd: Frankly, the money didn't really go into the building of the sauna; it was more or less used to pay the Carpenters as a reward for their efforts. Mutoh claimed that Master Hand shortchanged him and the boys after they built some of the neighboring houses. That ten grand kinda covered things for them.
"It's...it's beautiful," Dovahkiin was the first to give his two cents on the sauna, smile as he proudly shed a tear. The vanquisher wiped away his tear, as Edrice gave him a judging look.
"It's just a sauna, it's not that serious..." Edrice said to Dovahkiin, who took off his shirt as he entered the sauna. Dovahkiin took a seat, and exhaled deeply as he felt the steam eased his cares and burdens away.
"Come on in, the lot of you - there's plenty of steam to go around!" Taking Dovahkiin's word for it, the other men entered the sauna, as they took off their shirts - or maybe in Wario's case, they took off all their clothes.
"Wario, no one wants to see that," Chrom warned the fatso, who was wearing a speedo; the bulking fat that was around Wario's waistline didn't make the sight any more pleasant.
"You're just jealous that you can't rock a speedo like me," retorted Wario, as he found just the right spot in the sauna to relax in. "Oh yeah, this really hits the spot..."
"This sauna is making me feel like a young man again!" Pop squealed, sitting next to his players with his bare chest exposed. He looked over and saw Christopher, Edrice, and Wilder giving him questionable stares. "Why are you all looking at me like that?"
"We'd greatly appreciate it if you put your shirt back on..." replied Wilder, as he now had some mental images about Pop that he wished he could get out of his head.
"Well, isn't this nice?" Falco asked Lamonte, who was chilling with the Star Fox pilots in the sauna and taking it easy. Lamonte felt like he was at ease - like he was on cloud nine. "Told ya this sauna would be legit."
"I'ma have to take your word for it," replied Lamonte, only to look disturbed when he saw Wario walk past by in his purple speedo. Wario's speedo and Pop's bare chest...two ghastly sights that Lamonte was subjected to. "Uh, are there any towels around here?"
"Should be some towels at the front, I believe. But before you grab some...how about we start with the negotiations?"
"You were right, Lloyd, they really do enjoy your sauna!" Colette said to her boyfriend, who was observing things from the sauna entrance. Lloyd had never seen so much manly unity before.
"Yup, now it's time for me to hop in on the fun..." replied Lloyd, as he stepped inside the sauna; Colette tried to follow Lloyd inside, only for Lloyd to gently push her away. "...hey, what do you think you're doing, Colette?"
"Going inside the sauna with you? I am allowed to be in there, right?" It might appear that Colette was aware of who was allowed inside the sauna...and who wasn't.
"Ha, what a silly question! No, Colette, no girls are allowed in the sauna. Only men. Go and have fun with the other ladies in the beauty salon and get your fingernails painted, or something."
"But I want to experience the sauna too!" Sadly, Lloyd wouldn't extend that privilege to Colette, as he closed the door on his girlfriend. But only gently, because of boyfriend-girlfriend protocol. Colette lowered her head, as Samus walked by and noticed Colette's sadness.
"Lloyd kicked you out?" Samus asked Colette, who meekly turned around at the bounty hunter and nodded her head. That nod gave Samus all the more motivation to spite Lloyd. "I'm gonna assume that Lloyd finally opened up his lousy sauna."
"Yes he did...and he wouldn't let me inside. Said that only men can enter." The whole "sauna is for guys only" directive was awfully familiar to Samus, who wanted nothing more than to put an end to the directive for good.
"He has said that before. Pretty stupid rule if you ask me. But it's okay...I'll have to be the one to burst that little bubble of his."
Master Hand was in bad spirits. Two of his favorite Olympians, Genevieve and Remel, were both in danger of having their accreditation revoked after they were forced to go on a tour around Tokyo. That meant neither swimmer could participate in the 2024 Summer Olympics - and that would be a huge loss for America.
Lamenting over what he had done, Master Hand was in his room reflecting upon his actions as Isabelle was there to comfort him. The giant hand felt like he single-handedly ruined the next Summer Olympics, with the damage seemingly irreversible.
"This is all my fault, Isabelle...I really screwed over America," Master Hand said to the Shih Tzu as if Genevieve and Remel were the only athletes that mattered. Plenty of other spectacular American Olympians to go around. "I've done this country in!"
"It's okay, Master Hand, you were just doing the right thing," Isabelle assured the giant hand as she patted him on his back...the back of his hand. "Even if it had teensy weensy consequences..."
"That whole time I was in Japan, I was trying to convince that Olympic Committee to free the athletes. But did they listen? No! It was clear as day that they all hate fun."
"Well, to be fair, there was a state of emergency in Japan...maybe the committee just wanted the athletes to be healthy and safe."
"Bump that, that's not a good excuse. But who am I kidding! I was just following my heart, and that was a foolish thing to do. Look at where it got Cloud!"
As Master Hand continued to lament, Mario and Tom Nook entered the giant hand's room along with Zagreus. The duo could tell that Master Hand was looking pretty sad, but that didn't matter to them either way - since they knew just the thing to cheer them up.
"Oh, Master Hand! We have a visitor!" Mario called out to the giant hand, who suddenly perked up as he and Isabelle gave Mario their uninvited attention. "Meet-a Zagreus."
"Master Hand...it is an honor," Zagreus greeted the giant hand as he got down on one knee; Master Hand took the greeting as a sign of respect, which he obviously liked.
"Zagreus...Zagreus...you must be that Greek god from the Underworld," said Master Hand as he took the time to recall whatever familiarity he had. "Dante might've told me about you..."
"Yes! Dante. That's the demon hunter I met when I first escaped from the Underworld. It was when he was doing one of his excursions outside of this city."
"Yeah, he likes to ride around on his motorcycle a lot. Tried asking him for a few tips, but he would never budge for some reason. So, did Dante entice you to join the mansion?"
"He did do his best to entice me, that I can guarantee you. But before we can have any residency discussions..."
Zagreus would soon have Master Hand's full attention, as he took out his weapon - the Stygian Blade - and pointed it at Master Hand. Master Hand was intrigued by the sword, but the fact that Zagreus had it pointed at him made him very uneasy.
"...tell me your deepest, darkest secret," Zagreus commanded of Master Hand, knowing that he had plenty of secrets to share. Master Hand was shaken to the core, taken back by the power move that Zagreus just used.
"M-My deepest, darkest secret?" stammered Master Hand, easily the most afraid that he has ever been. Neither one of Mario, Tom Nook, or even Isabelle had seen Master Hand so frightened before.
"Better give him what he wants," Tom Nook encouraged Master Hand, who did not like the position that he was in. It wasn't often that a mansion guest backed the giant hand into a corner. "He is the Prince of the Underworld, after all..."
"Okay, fine, I'll tell you my deepest, darkest secret!" Not wishing to meet his end at the hands of a literal Greek god, Master Hand was ready to admit his biggest secret. Mario and Tom Nook were both all ears. "I...I...I like to sniff the female residents' laundry. But only at nighttime, when everyone's asleep."
"You WHAT?" an astonished Isabelle asked Master Hand, greatly concerned that the giant hand might've messed around with her clothes. Imagine how the other ladies might feel about Master Hand's big secret.. "Master Hand, you don't even have a nose!"
"I don't have eyes either...so how can I see? Explain that, Isabelle." Just as Master Hand expected, Isabelle had no rebuttal as she kept her mouth shut.
Master Hand: Do I sniff the male residents' laundry? Gross! What kind of sick, twisted question is that?! You can never trust the men, some of them rarely use deodorant let alone wash regularly. The Smash community has better hygiene than those miscreants, which is a very bad look. Makes me ashamed to represent them.
"Uh...that wasn't the kind of secret that we were looking for," remarked Mario, as he had no idea how to react to Master Hand's shocking confession. Zagreus himself even felt uncomfortable.
"What, do you want me to admit another big secret of mine?" inquired Master Hand, who had plenty of more embarrassing secrets to tell. Some of which may be too inappropriate to share out loud. "What if I told you that I unironically like those Kidz Bop CDs?"
"No, it's nothing of that sort," replied Tom Nook, as Master Hand let out a huge sigh of relief. "We were hoping that you would say something about your frozen bank account." The mention of the bank account suddenly had Master Hand curious.
"Frozen bank account? Is that what you boys wanted to hear about? Mario, have you been telling Tom Nook things that he shouldn't hear?"
"He was just curious-a about how you gained your wealth," Mario explained to Master Hand, who eased off a bit; Master Hand was still wary about how much Tom Nook desired to know.
"They believed that your account was frozen due to some...terrorist activity," added Zagreus, as a slight giggle was heard from Master Hand. What did Master Han find funny? "One theory they had in mind was that you funded terrorists..."
"YOU THOUGHT THAT I WAS INVOLVED IN TERRORIST ACTIVITY?!" cackled Master Hand, wheezing as he fell onto the floor. The giant hand was laughing his butt off, while everyone stood around pretty perplexed. "Woo, child..."
"Wait, so you didn't fund a bunch of terrorists to have the All-Star Manor attacked?" Tom Nook asked Master Hand, causing the giant hand to laugh harder. Master Hand simply couldn't believe the things that he was hearing.
"Master Hand, we sure could use an explanation right now!" Isabelle said to the giant hand, who finally simmered down as he ceased his laughing. Master Hand picked himself up off the floor, clearing his throat as he was about to address everyone in a dignified manner.
"Let me make this one thing clear...I am NOT a terrorist," stated Master Hand, hoping that he had stressed this point enough. He didn't want to stress it any further than he had to. "Nor have I funded any terrorist group of any sort."
"So you never had any ambition to blow up the manor or anything like that?" Mario asked Master Hand, who couldn't help but laugh at the question. Master Hand clearly still thought that the manor was beneath him.
"Ha! I wouldn't waste any sort of effort terrorizing those fools. I'd much rather terrorize E. Gadd or B.D. Joe over Polygon Man and his army of posers."
"Then in that case, how did your bank account get frozen?" asked Tom Nook; Master Hand saw how adamant Mario and Tom Nook were, and knew that they wouldn't rest until they got the answer they sought for.
"Are you that incessant on knowing? Fine, guess I'll budge...but just this one time. All of you, follow me. And that includes you too, Isabelle."
Mega Man took Genevieve and Remel somewhere in the mansion where they wouldn't be bothered and could feel at peace, and that place...was Cafe Leblanc. Which was, coincidentally, where Tokyo tour guide Joker worked at. Remel would've much preferred to be outside the mansion, but he was fine with the choice.
"Sorry for taking you guys out on that tour, and getting you in trouble," Joker apologized to Genevieve and Remel as he felt the need to apologize - since he figured that Master Hand wouldn't do it himself. "If only Pit here hadn't volunteered me..."
"Nah, man, you're good," Remel assured Joker, letting the young man know that he had absolutely nothing to worry about. "Master Hand would've had a fit if any of us told him no."
"Made you both some apology curry," Pit said to Genevieve and Remel as he offered the two swimmers some curry. Genevieve and Remel both looked at the curry, and they were not huge fans of its composition. "Has some of my tears in it, so...it might taste a little salty."
"...I think we're good." As Remel gently pushed his bowl of curry away from him, Link entered the cafe with two members from the men's basketball team - Wayne and Khash.
"The stuff they offer at this cafe isn't that bad," Link tried to convince Wayne and Khash, who were both looking highly skeptical. "Just give it a chance!"
"You said that Pit worked here, right?" Wayne asked Link, as he and Khash reluctantly took a seat at the counter. "I have every right to doubt this place for that reason."
"Psst, Link!" Mega Man whispered to the Hylian, who came over to speak with the blue robot in private as he pulled his head closer to his. "How's it coming along, with the video and all?"
"Coco told me that she's got it covered," replied Link, hedging all his bets on the smartest bandicoot in the Crash clan to save the day. "She'll clear the Olympians' names in no time."
"nice, some basketball players," Sans grinned at Wayne and Khash, gleefully rubbing his hands together as he felt a joke coming on. "you guys remind me of the dude I saw walking through the airport holding a basketball."
"Please don't tell me he's about to make a basketball joke..." fretted Khash; Wayne would give his teammate a heads up about Sans, but he decided to hold his tongue.
"if you ask me, I think that man was traveling. also, the last time I played basketball was with a bunch of pigs. they wouldn't stop hogging the ball."
"Does this skeleton come here very often?" Khash asked Joker, who didn't have it in him to answer yes; he didn't want to lower Khash's already low opinion in Cafe Leblanc.
Link: Really trusting Coco to remedy this whole tour situation. Pit and Joker never should've taken those athletes into the city, even if Master Hand coerced them into it. Sure, I was in the city myself...but it was for a purpose, I think. Also, I'd much rather let Mario boss me around than Master Hand. At least he's more considerate.
But fortunately for Joker, he wouldn't have to worry about answering Khash's question for he heard his phone ringing. Seeing that Tom Nook was calling him, Joker answered the call.
"Hello, Tom Nook," Joker greeted the tanuki as he spoke into the phone. "Any updates about Master Hand possibly being a terrorist?" The moment that Wayne heard that, he looked completely shocked.
"Master Hand's a terrorist?!" the basketball player shouted as he furrowed his brow, only for his shock to later subside. "Wait, what am I acting so surprised for...?"
"Master Hand admitted that he's never been involved in any sort of terrorist activity," Tom Nook informed Joker, who wasn't sure if he could trust the tanuki or not. "He's going to reveal how his bank account got frozen - and also where he gets his money from."
"Cool. So you'll keep me posted, right?" Feeling left out, Pit slowly turned his head towards Joker, who noticed right away. "I mean, keep us posted."
"Yes, yes. Just give me some time. I'll tell you boys what you need to know soon."
As you might recall from episode 238, there was a safe that all of the mansion's money was stored. Said safe also contained some financial information, including financial documents. Master Hand brought Mario and company to this safe and opened it, and had Mario and Tom Nook read a news clipping that he thought the two should read...
"'All-Star Manor's Own Polygon Man Accuses Master Hand of Money Laundering?'" Mario read the headline on the news clipping, as Zagreus towered over them reading the clipping out of his own curiosity. Mario was surprised that he had never heard anything like this before.
"Supposedly, I owed Polygon Man some money, but I never obliged," explained Master Hand; he wouldn't even give Polygon Man a kidney if he ever needed one. Provided that he had a body, of course. "Only because I knew he didn't deserve it."
"Did he accuse you of an unpaid debt afterward?" Tom Nook asked Master Hand; unpaid debts were one of the reasons for any bank account to go frozen.
"Yes he did, in fact - and my bank account's been frozen ever since! That good for nothing..." Master Hand had a few choice words that he wished to say about Polygon Man, but he held in his fury for now.
"Have you at least tried to speak with your bank about unfreezing your account? You can't just let it stay frozen forever, you know."
"I spoke with the bank, but no matter the efforts, there's nothing I can do to unfreeze it. Now you know the reason why I despise Polygon Man...well, one of the reasons."
"Glad we got that cleared-a up," remarked Mario, as his and Tom Nook's investigation regarding Master Hand had finally come to a close. "When we were in Tokyo last-a week, Tom Nook and I thought you were meeting with-a some Japanese terrorists!"
"Master Hand was actually meeting with the Olympic Committee, trying to convince them to 'free' the athletes from the Olympic Village," Isabelle explained to Mario and Tom Nook, grateful that she hadn't been dragged into the meetings. "He had some good intentions about it..."
"This still doesn't answer my question of how you get your wealth, Master Hand," Tom Nook said to the giant hand, as he had one pressing matter on his mind. One that must be resolved right away. "Just where do you keep your money?"
"Since you're just dying to know, I'll fill you boys in," replied Master Hand, prepared to share another one of his biggest secrets - just one that wasn't embarrassing. "I use two separate bank accounts; one is Little Mac's, and I use it for credit card purchases. Doc Louis was a fool for bragging about his protege's career earnings - made the account ripe for the taking!"
"Any explanation for why you changed-a the name on Little Mac's credit card?" Mario asked Master Hand, "who had no good reason for explaining his actions. That's pretty messed-a up."
"Meh, wasn't like Little Mac used it much anyway...but now here's the real bombshell. The other account I use...the one I use for paying bills and all that jazz...belongs to Isabelle's!"
"Really? That's very unfortunate," remarked Isabelle - and once Master Hand's bombshell announcement was registered in her mind, the Shih Tzu was extremely shocked. "Wait, what?!"
"Yes! You have nineteen flipping engineering degrees, woman, there's good money to be had right there! And you held how many engineering jobs?" Obviously, Master Hand couldn't afford to let all that money go to waste. "I had to put it to use somehow."
"B-But why did you have to use my account?" Isabelle felt betrayed by Master Hand, violated even, as she didn't know what to think anymore. The Shih Tzu was on the verge of whiting out.
"You're super scatterbrained, you probably never knew that you had an account. It was easy pickings, just like Little Mac's." At that moment, Isabelle had heard enough as she fainted on the floor.
Isabelle: Master Hand took control of my bank account AND sniffed through my laundry numerous times...it's probably a given that he also read the mean things I wrote about him in my diary. Hope he didn't take it personally that I called him a giant two-faced good-for-nothing turd that will never be loved for as long as he exists. And that was the least mean thing I said!
"Happy to see this whole matter resolved," commented Zagreus, with Mario putting the news clipping away in the safe before closing the safe door. "But we have more important matters to go to...concerning me!"
"Ah, yes, Zagreus!" Master Hand addressed the Greek god as he hovered closer to him, focusing all of his attention on him. "We haven't even discussed your mansion residency."
"I would love to be here at this mansion, and call this place home. But I want much more than that...I wish to be a part of Smash." The bravado exuded from Zagreus was a positive sign to Master Hand...who had some bad news for the Greek god.
"That's nice and all, but...I've already decided who the final fighter in Smash will be. I am so sorry, Zagreus." Pained Master Hand to say that. Zagreus looked disappointed, as Mario and Tom Nook comforted him.
"Well, in that case...is there anything in my power that I can do to possibly be a part of Smash?" It pained Master Hand much more to see Zagreus so downtrodden, so he wanted to make it up to him somehow.
"There's one thing you can do...you could fight the final Smash fighter to the death, and take his spot if you prevail. I reckon that he's even in the mansion as we speak!"
"He is?!" questioned Mario, as his and Tom Nook's eyes went wide; if the final fighter was allegedly in the mansion, then who could it possibly be?
"Very well then..." said Zagreus, taking upon the challenge as he took out his Stygian Blade. The Greek god was looking for a fight. "...who is it that I must fight? Is it a mortal?"
"It is indeed a mortal; you should have no problem with them," replied Master Hand, having full confidence that Zagreus would come out victorious. They didn't call him the Prince of the Underworld for nothing. "The person that you must beat up, to earn a spot in Smash, is..."
Being that he hadn't been at the mansion since 2016, Jamal had missed out on a lot of stuff. More importantly, he wasn't used to some of the newer residents or the newest Smash fighters for that matter.
The basketball player encountered two Smash fighters in particular in the hallway, in Byleth and Beleth. The professors were speaking with Sothis, having a thought-provoking conversation with her...although, to Jamal, it looked like they were speaking with an imaginary friend of theirs.
"Weirdos," snorted Jamal, shaking his head and grinning as he kept on walking. Later on, he accidentally bumped into someone, and it was the last person that he could bump into...Sephiroth.
"Why hello there..." Sephiroth greeted Jamal as he turned around, leaving the basketball player alone shook with just his mere menacing presence. "Do you know the meaning of...despair?"
"Hey man, it was an accident, I didn't mean it..." Jamal was looking to spare himself, as he raised his hands in innocence. Soon Min Min appeared at Sephiroth's side, holding a bowl of piping hot noodles.
"Do you want some ramen noodles?" Min Min asked Jamal as she presented the bowl of noodles, as a drop of sweat ran down Jamal's face. "You ignored me a few hours ago. Not cool."
"Ignoring people, aren't we?" Sephiroth asked Jamal, as he and Min Min inched closer to Jamal. Jamal slowly backed away, with Sephiroth and Min Min hot on his heels. "Are you going to ignore me too?"
"No way, why would I do that?" Jamal chuckled nervously as precipitation was forming on his face. As the basketball player continued backing away, he accidentally backed into Terry.
"Ouch! You stepped on my foot!" Terry shouted at Jamal, wincing in pain as his left toe was in a world of pain. "Are you okay?!" Now Terry joined Sephiroth and Min Min in chasing after Jamal.
"Yeah man, I'm okay! I'm straight! Back off, bro!" Jamal soon backed into another person, as he turned around and saw Steve adorned in a blue tuxedo. The craftsman dressed to impress.
"I have chosen to wear this blue tuxedo for Impa," Steve informed Jamal as if the basketball player even cared; King Dedede told Steve that blue was Impa's favorite color. "Do I like nice wearing it?"
"I dunno, man, ask someone else..." Jamal kept on backing away, as Sephiroth, Min Min, Terry, AND Steve were following him. And it wouldn't be long until Jamal bumped into Byleth and Beleth.
"Um, can we help you?" Byleth asked Jamal, as she and Beleth frowned at the basketball player. Jamal found himself surrounded, with little to no room for escape.
"Look, I don't mean any trouble..." Jamal tried to plead his case to everyone, as the pressure was starting to mount. He was rarely this sweaty outside of a typical basketball game. "...just leave me alone, aight?"
"Aha! I found you!" a voice called out to Jamal, who turned his head as he saw his guardian angel coming in to rescue him. It was Coco, who was able to make out Jamal from the crowd given his height.
"No, go away!" Sephiroth commanded Coco, who ran down the hallway to retrieve Jamal. "We're not done with him." Ignoring the command, Coco grabbed Jamal's hand and took him away.
"Yeah, yeah, maybe another time Sephiroth..." Coco would take Jamal down the hallway, having some use for him. "...I know a way to get you out of trouble with that video. I just need a little compliance..."
"I'll do anything you need me to do!" Jamal said to Coco, before turning around and seeing Sephiroth and company staring at him. "Just as long as it's away from those guys..."
Sonic, Crash, and Dante stopped delivering ice cream in Renton, as they were on the hunt for the UFO. After the trio spent much time searching, Aku would ultimately find the UFO parked at a parking lot of an abandoned building.
"So what's your method of attack?" Aku asked Sonic, Crash, and Dante, who were hiding behind some shrubbery as they saw the UFO in plain view. The Turks could be inside, along with Crypto.
"We're attacking the UFO or something?" Sonic questioned Aku, not exactly sure what the floating mask meant. Aku himself didn't know either! "We're just seeing who's inside."
"Remember, boys, just like we practiced," Dante said to Sonic and Crash, standing up as he crept towards the UFO in the stealthiest way possible. "Slow and steady wins the race..."
"Uh, we never practiced...but sure." Following Dante's lead, Sonic and Crash crept towards the UFO while making as little noise as possible. Soon as he was mere feet away from the UFO...
...Crash sneezed, and it was the biggest sneeze ever. Dante and Sonic went into panic mode, as the hatch of the UFO slowly opened up. And you wouldn't believe who was inside...
"Sweet Mr. Sinitra! Who interrupted my beauty sleep?" questioned the lizard inside the UFO, who apparently seemed to pilot the alien spacecraft. It was Gex, wearing his classic tuxedo and sunglasses.
"Gex? You were piloting the UFO this whole time?!" Sonic asked the lizard, hoping that some sort of elaborate prank was going on. Some things just weren't adding up.
"Oh, you saw me piloting this bad boy? You gotta admit, I'm one handy UFO pilot!" Gex proudly patted the UFO as if he owned it, as he flashed a cocky smirk. "One of a kind."
"This UFO belonged to that ugly-looking alien..." Dante furrowed his brow, his hand on his chin as he attempted to piece all the puzzle pieces together. "It should be in the Turks' possession..."
Gex: How did I acquire rights to the UFO? Well, let's just say that I was presented an opportunity of a lifetime after I got kicked to the curb. Phoenix may have thought that my big break was done after he exposed me, but oh ho ho...it's only beginning, folks.
"Yo, is that...Gex?" someone asked, as Tom was seen at the parking lot; Dante's van was there, having pulled up into the parking lot, as Popo got out.
"Is there a gold mine in California?" asked Gex as he gave Tom a smile and a wink. Gex's ego was restored - if it had been crushed two weeks ago. "Ah, feels nice to have fans..."
"Know what, screw you guys - I'm taking a ride in that UFO." Tom walked towards the UFO, hoping to go on a joyride with Gex...only for Dante to grab him by the ear and drag him away. "Ow! Stop that!"
"Nope, lizard man can't be trusted," Dante said to Tom, before tossing the basketball player inside the van and looking towards Popo. "You done for today, Popo?"
"We reached our daily quota, so yes, we're done," replied Popo, as Dante nodded his head and went inside the van. Popo was now waiting on Sonic and Crash.
"Look boys, I'd love to stick around and chat...but, duty calls," Gex said to Sonic and Crash, donning his sunglasses over his eyes as he pressed the button to close the hatch. "Catch you two on the flippity flip!"
"Okay, see ya I guess," responded Sonic, watching as the UFO floated up in the sky before taking off. Sonic and Crash walked to the van, with pressing questions on Sonic's mind. "There's no way that he's with them..."
Olympian basketball star Christopher was at the sauna, chilling with his head coach Pop and just having a fun time overall. Or at least he was having a fun time until Chrom approached him.
"H-Hey man, what's good with you?" Christopher asked Chrom, as he was very wary of the prince. Chrom took a seat next to Christopher, as he had a serious, thought-provoking question to ask him.
"Are you a dad?" Chrom asked Christopher; such a dubious question like that gave Christopher all the more reason to doubt Chrom's intentions. "Not asking for a friend or anything."
"Yeah, I'm a dad..." Christopher eyed around the sauna, wondering why Chrom was asking him of all people about fatherhood. "...why are you asking?"
"It's about my daughter, Lucina. I feel like I can't trust her anymore, especially after she went on a trip to Tokyo for the Olympics, and didn't invite me. We've been at odds ever since."
"Your daughter went to Tokyo?" Pop asked Chrom, as he was listening in on the conversation; Pop himself was a dad, so he was more than qualified to chime in. "I thought that traveling to Tokyo was forbidden for the time being."
"That's what I was thinking! I assume that my daughter and her friends must've gotten VIP access, somehow." Judging from Chrom's responses, Lucina had yet to tell her dad the truth.
"There's no such thing as VIP access to Tokyo," Christopher informed Chrom; if such access existed, Christopher would've brought his friends and family to Tokyo from the jump. "Maybe your daughter was just trying to avoid you."
"Weird, that's what that nasally-voiced tough guy told me..." That tough guy being Susukichi, as you might recall. Sure had some drip, though. "...but why would she do that?"
"Have you at least tried speaking with her?" Pop suggested to Chrom, knowing that it wasn't wise for any loving dad to sit on his hands when it came to understanding his children. "Expecting her to approach you won't solve anything! Take initative!"
"Take initiave...yes, you're right!" Knowing what he must do now, Chrom stood up. "Thank you for your time, you two." The prince walked away and left Christopher and Pop alone, much to the former's relief.
Elsewhere in the sauna, Lloyd was standing proudly by himself, smiling as he saw the men enjoying themselves. The swordsman's smile would turn upside down, however, when he saw Samus enter the sauna with nothing but a towel around her waist.
"Hold it, Samus!" shouted Lloyd as he ran over to the bounty hunter, who took a seat in the sauna away from the others. "This sauna is for males only."
"Well, I just so happen to be fe-MALE," responded Samus, utilizing some clever wordplay against Lloyd. Lloyd had no idea how to respond, as he looked around angrily.
"Samus, I'm being serious right now. Made it clear about this sauna being a men-only resource. You already have the beauty salon!"
"That's nice, but I need more than just some measly salon. So thanks for building this sauna, Lloyd. We sure do appreciate it."
"That man Lloyd better act nice," Lamonte said to Fox and Falco, watching as Lloyd's face was turning red. Lloyd should've known that Samus would pull her stunt. "One wrong move, and Samus would have his butt for sure!"
"Wouldn't be the first time that happened," remarked Fox, who had witnessed Lloyd getting his butt kicked by Samus (and several other women) multiple times before. "So, have you made your decision yet? Wanna sign with Star Records?"
"Not yet...just give me some more time. The steam in this sauna is making me too relaxed..."
Although the sauna was a mansion attraction, the tower denizens were also welcome to come. One of those denizens was Waluigi, who was hanging out with Rex.
"Isn't this the life, Rex?" Waluigi asked the swordsman, letting everyone in the sauna see his bird chest. Talk about an unwelcome sight. "This sauna should've been a thing years ago!"
"Agreed - I've never felt this relaxed before!" replied Rex, wishing that his lady friends could be here. The swordsman saw someone enter the sauna, and began fearing for the worst as they headed in his direction.
"Why, I should've asked Crazy Hand to build a sauna at the tower..." Waluigi would stop speaking, as he felt a tall shadow fall over him. Gulping nervously, the lanky man looked up...
...and saw Zagreus, Prince of the Underworld, standing over him. The sauna was perhaps the only place where Zagreus' feet being on fire didn't matter.
"Greetings - you must be Waluigi," Zagreus said to the lanky man, who was even more nervous as the Greek god towered over him. "Such an honor to meet the final fighter in Smash..."
Master Hand: No, Waluigi is NOT the final person joining Smash. No matter how hard his biggest fans will it into existence. I was just in the mood of seeing his keester whooped by a real alpha male. Hope there's video footage.
Mario: I tried talking Zagreus out-a of it...it didn't work.
"Nice game you had," Cloud complimented Edrice for his performance in the basketball scrimmage last week, before looking over at Zagreus. Edrice looked over as well, as Waluigi was feeling intimidated...and confused.
"I'm the last fighter in Smash? Me?" Waluigi asked Zagreus, assuming that the Greek god was just pulling his tail. Such news would've meant more out of Master Hand's mouth.
"That's what I've been told," answered Zagreus, looking for a fight as he took out his Stygian Blade. That blade was enough to make Waluigi wet his overalls...erm, towel. "I was also told that if I beat you in a fight, I can take your spot."
"Please, no, I can barely fight!" Waluigi was shuddering in fear, his head turned away as he held his hands in front of his face. "Spare me!"
"Somebody better do something," Edrice said to Cloud, seeing that Rex was too reluctant to intervene and keep Zagreus away. "Waluigi looks like he can barely defend himself!"
"Guess that somebody has to be me..." Cloud grumbled as he walked over to Waluigi and Zagreus. The swordsman stood in-between the Greek god and the lanky man, looking annoyed while doing it.
"Wait a minute...blonde, spiky hair...blue eyes..." Zagreus observed Cloud as he pointed out the swordsman's physical features. Soon the name came to him. "...ah, you must be Cloud Strife."
"You know who I am, huh? I'm so flattered..." Cloud saw the Stygian Blade, but he wasn't afraid in the slightest; that sword was nothing to him, compared to Sephiroth's Masamune. "...how about you love Waluigi alone, and leave?"
"Yeah, you teach him a lesson, Cloud!" Sora cheered on for the swordsman, as everyone was looking at the inevitable showdown between Cloud and Zagreus. Too bad the former didn't have his Buster Sword with him.
"I believe that it is I who will be teaching a lesson around here," stated Zagreus, figuring that he would have his way with an unarmed Cloud. A very easy fight for him. "Better start saying your prayers, Cloud..."
Coco got the compliance she required from Jamal, as she needed the basketball player to help her with making her video. The bandicoot also asked everyone else that was a part of the Tokyo tour to participate and brought them to the computer room so they could see her finished product.
"Now watch very closely..." Coco said to those watching the video, which was playing on the blonde bandicoot's laptop. Pit and Joker were shown in the video, walking around Tokyo...and then the two turned into Zoroarks. Which caught the others off-guard.
"Woah! That was crazy!" said Lindy, as the amount of surprise he had got Coco feeling proud of herself. Proud, but not entirely smug. "How did you do that?"
"It was simple - just had those Zoroarks meander as you guys. Edited their movements over that video, and voila! What you have is this masterpiece right here."
"Is that why asked us to 'participate', so those Zoroarks could copy our looks?" Joker asked Coco, who nodded her head in confirmation. That was the easy part of the video's production.
"Luckily, we had the right number of Zoroarks in the sanctuary. I'll put this video up on the Internet; the Olympic Committee should give you guys a pardon after they see it."
"Hopefully that means our accreditation won't get revoked," remarked Genevieve, who now had plenty of thank yous to dish out to Coco. "Thank goodness..."
Coco: Making the video wasn't so bad - only took me less than an hour to insert all the moving parts. Video editing works in such magnificent ways...
The men's basketball team's day at the mansion wasn't done yet, for they still had to attend the gold medal celebration held by Master Hand. The celebration took place in the dining room, where the entire team was present. Oh, and the swimmers, Genevieve and Remel were there, as well.
"This place is a total clown show..." Pop murmured to Wilder, looking around the dining room table as he was feeling uncomfortable. "...too many freaks. I think that a purge is in order."
"So how did it go with delivering ice cream, cool cat?" K.K. Slider asked Tom, inquiring about his work with the ice cream gang today. Kazuya paid an attentive ear, expecting Tom to be super critical of Popo.
"Popo almost choked an old lady out just to make her buy ice cream, but other than that it was fun," replied Tom, as Kazuya shook his head while having sympathy for Tom. Suddenly, Kazuya wasn't feeling hungry anymore.
"Hmph...what fun," the businessman snorted as he gently pushed his plate of food away from him, with Tom's critique leaving a bad taste in his mouth.
Kazuya: Had Popo choked out the old woman just for fun, I wouldn't have minded. But doing it just for profit?! That's why I do not doubt in my mind that his business will flop spectacularly.
"Alright man...we've had our negotiations, and we bonded together in the sauna," Fox said to Lamonte, as he and Falco were seated with the basketball player in the hopes of potentially winning him over. "So, are you with Star Records or not?"
"You know what, I've made my decision a long time ago," replied Lamonte, having Fox and Falco's full attention as the pilots were seated at the edge of their seats. "My decision is...I won't be signing with y'all."
"...you're joking, right?" Falco asked Lamonte, as he was the more devastated of the two pilots. Fox wasn't nearly as devastated, but he still felt pretty hurt.
"I'm dead serious. Besides, I already have my own record label! Owned it for five years. So I'm a boss, too."
"But we literally spent a whole day getting to know you. man...and you do us just like that? That's not right."
"I was just trying to teach y'all a lesson. Never trust snakes in the grass. They might act friendly at first, but they'll just waste your time - and backstab you in the end."
"Snakes in the grass, huh...if only Falco and I knew about that," remarked Fox, as Lamonte smirked knowing that he did his job. "I think we both learned a valuable lesson today..."
"Really, that's why I usually hold off on paying bills," Master Hand discussed with Wayne and company, telling them about how he used Isabelle's bank account. "Knowing that I use Isabelle's money sometimes gives me pause."
"Master Hand, have you seen Cloud?" Zelda asked as she approached the giant hand, wondering where the swordsman was. "Is he still..."
"Right here, princess..." Cloud announced to Zelda as he arrived at the dining room - albeit with a few scars and bruises. Aerith hastily got up out of her seat, as she walked Cloud to the table.
"Are you alright? Did he rough you up too bad?" Aerith asked Cloud these questions, before sitting the swordsman down in a seat next to hers. "Please tell me you're okay..."
"Yeah, I'm fine...just happy to be alive, I guess." After Cloud sat down, Zagreus entered the dining room, with Waluigi hoisted over his shoulder. The Greek god walked over to Master Hand, acting like he had caught the biggest prey in the land.
"I've done it, Master Hand...I've defeated the final fighter in Smash," Zagreus informed the giant hand, dropping the unconscious Waluigi on the floor. A bunch of onlookers looked at Waluigi, amazed to see the lanky man in his current state.
"No, you got it all wrong!" Cortex shouted at Zagreus, letting the Greek god know what was up. "If anyone is deserving of being the final fighter, it's me!" Must suck to be so delusional.
"No offense, but Master Hand wouldn't pick you even if everyone else on this planet was dead," Lucario told Cortex, who whimpered and sucked up his pride as he sat back down in his chair. "Yeah, sit your butt back down..."
"Excellent work, Zagreus!" Master Hand commended the Greek god, who expected the giant hand to hand him the final Smash spot. Now here comes the disappointment. "Sadly, you still won't be joining Smash."
"But I defeated the man you claimed to be the last fighter. Nearly had him on his dying breath, before I showed him mercy! And yet you wish to deny me?"
"Yeah, well, I made it all up. Waluigi isn't the last fighter." With his efforts completely wasted, Zagreus looked down at Waluigi, who was slowly waking up. "The identity of this fighter hasn't been revealed just yet."
"In that case...may I still live at the mansion?" Zagreus was still looking for a home, and he wanted that home to be the Smash Mansion. But Wayne, seated a few feet away from Zagreus, knew that the Greek god was making a huge mistake.
"Don't do it, bro," the basketball player gave this warning to Zagreus, doing his best to change his mind. "That stunt Master Hand pulled on you? It could happen on the regular."
"Please disregard him, he's just a guest," Master Hand told Zagreus, who considered Wayne's warning and the senseless beatdown he gave to Waluigi. "He's not that experienced."
"Maybe he has a point..." said Zagreus, mulling his options, as Master Hand gasped out of shock. "...also, why should I bother living under a giant hand who uses the finances from his constituents, without their permission?"
"Aw snap!" exclaimed Doc Louis, getting all riled up as everyone had their eyes on the now quivering Master Hand. "You tell him!"
"Or even worse, a giant hand who acts mighty, yet delights himself in listening to children's songs." Zagreus had Master Hand on the ropes for the second time today, which was unsaid for any guest in the past.
"Woah, he's really going in on him," remarked one of the basketball players, Houston, as Master Hand was left speechless. "I don't think he's letting up..."
"But you know what the worst thing is about you, Master Hand? You admitted to sniffing women's laundry!" That was the real deep cut, as every single woman in the dining room was incensed.
"You sniff our laundry, Master Hand?" Rosalina frowned at the giant hand, who was worried about the female residents ganging up on him at once. "What in the world is wrong with you...?"
"You're really that sick, huh?" Leaf questioned Master Hand, who was backing away from everyone; it was the most shook that Master Hand has ever been.
"Well, Master Hand? Got any more secrets you want to admit?" Zelda interrogated the giant hand, frowning with her hands on her hips. If Master Hand could sweat, every inch of him would be drenched.
"Would you look at that...the Olympic Committee's calling on my phone!" exclaimed Master Hand, making his getaway as he vanished from the dining room. The giant hand was embarrassed in front of the residents AND the Olympians...and it was all Zagreus' doing.
"I've rested my case," remarked Zagreus, after everything was said and done, as he made his way to the dining room exit. "You all have a fine evening." The Greek god made his farewell as he left, giving a small wave.
"Peace," Wayne responded to Zagreus, feeling like he just did the Greek god a huge favor. Seconds after Zagreus left, Link showed up, needing to speak with Wayne, Genevieve, and Remel.
"Hey, how did the video come along?" the Hylian asked the three Olympians - when he just could've asked, you know, the bandicoot who made the video.
"It was a success," replied Remel, as he expected his Olympic accreditation to no longer be in danger when the next Summer Games come around. "That bandicoot saved our butts!"
"Okay, that's good." Even though Coco saved the day, there was another pressing issue on Link's mind. "Oh man, I hope I wasn't caught too..."
"You're talking about that basketball game?" a certain bandicoot asked, as Link across the dining room table at Coco. "Lakitu showed me some footage - edited it the best I could. Saved your guys' butts too."
"That's encouraging to hear. Because I would hate to be on the Olympic Committee's bad side..."
Coco: Link looked surprisingly decent at basketball, judging from that footage Lakitu gave me...wouldn't say that he was Larry Bird out there, but it was a solid performance.
Zagreus stood outside the mansion, taking some time to reflect over things as the flames on his feet burned away. A member of the basketball team, Randall, led Mario and Dante outside the mansion.
"There he is, all by himself," Randall said to Mario and Dante, standing from the porch as he pointed at the lonesome Zagreus. "I think you oughta speak with him before he goes."
"Right," said Mario, as he and Dante went over to Zagreus. Randall followed after the plumber and vigilante, as Zagreus turned around and saw that he had some company.
"Well, if it isn't Mario," Zagreus smiled at the plumber before he noticed the much taller man standing next to him. "And Dante! The first man I met since escaping from the Underworld."
"That's right," said Dante as he cracked a cocky grin, feeling a little appreciated. Not often that you feel that way from the Prince of the Underworld. "Did ya a huge favor with your grand escape, huh?"
"Sorry that you couldn't be a mansion resident," Mario apologized to the Zagreus - who knew that an ordinary plumber and the Prince of the Underworld would've gotten along so well today? "Perhaps-a it was for the best..."
"It wasn't meant to be," responded Zagreus, before looking up at the darkening sky as he spotted the moon in the distance. "But who knows? My home might be elsewhere! Or maybe I should just live with my mother."
"Well, you know where you have-a to go. You should be on-a your way then!" No point in thinking over living options while in the mansion's front yard.
"Yes, I might as well leave." Zagreus looked back at Mario and Dante, with Randall awkwardly standing around as the third wheel. "I must thank you, for having me over."
"Make sure you come back soon," Dante encouraged Zagreus, as he would love nothing more than to have a bro day with the Greek god. "And try not to humiliate Master Hand too much when you show up!"
"Ha. I'll do my best to hold my tongue. Well, I'm off now...farewell." Zagreus turned around and walked away, as he left the mansion premises. He left a burn mark on the grass with every step that he took.
Mr. Game and Watch: Kinda glad that Zagreus is gone; his feet were a literal fire hazard. Now I have to tidy up the grass that his feet stepped on, the grass I worked so hard to keep healthy and green. Curse you, Zagreus!
"Psst, Mario..." Randall whispered to the plumber, pointing at three individuals searching around the mansion in suits. It was the Turks. "...know those guys?"
"They're just the guys I needed to speak-a with..." replied Mario as he walked over to the Turks. Dante, also seeing the Turks, followed Mario's lead as Randall shrugged and followed after Mario and Dante.
"Hey, look who it is! Mario and Dante!" shouted Reno, as he and the Turks ceased their searching when Mario and company showed up. "And some random...basketball dude. Wait..."
"Good evening, Turks," Dante greeted the three agents, acting all friendly as he clicked both of his fingers at them. "Doing some recon work, I assume?"
"If you wish to call it that, then yes," replied Elena, sounding like she and the boys were starting to wrap things up. "Boss's orders."
"I feel ya, gotta do what your boss says...there isn't by any chance that your recon work involves Master Hand, does it?"
"Yes...or no. We're not really allowed to say what our work involves. But what about Master Hand?"
"Oh, nothing, nothing major. Unless I was insinuating that Master Hand was some kind of terrorist..."
"...which-a he isn't," interjected Dante, as Mario looked at the plumber funny. Mario made the vigilante look bad in front of the Turks. "Could-a have been a possibility, but it was just an understanding."
"Just an understanding?" Dante frowned at Mario, under the assumption that the plumber was making up stuff. "But you and Tom Nook said that Master Hand got his bank account frozen!"
"The account is indeed-a frozen...because Master Hand was accused-a by Polygon Man concerning an unpaid debt. He's been unable to unfreeze the account since-a then."
"Master Hand having a frozen bank account...interesting," commented Rude, holding a finger underneath his chin, as Dante threw his arms up in defeat.
"Whatever, I'm going back inside." Dante marched away in retreat, still hesitant to believe a single word that came out of Mario's mouth. "Gonna finish the rest of my stinking food..."
"Yeah, if we knew that Master Hand was some kind of terrorist, we'd have intel about it," Reno informed Mario, as he twirled his nightstick in his hand. "So I'm happy that you got things cleared up."
"Dante himself doesn't seem-a that happy..." remarked Mario, before letting out a small shrug. "...but he'll get over it. I'll leave-a you three alone - enjoy the rest-a of your evening!"
"Y'all take care," Randall said to the Turks, as he and Mario returned to the mansion. Once Mario and Randall were gone, and the coast was all clear, Reno whistled into his fingers.
Right on command, a UFO descended, and it was the same one that the ice cream gang saw. Once the UFO got close enough to the ground, the hatch was opened up by Gex.
"This is like catching up with the Rolling Stones at Jimi Hendrix's house," said Gex, as Elena rolled her eyes at the lizard. "Thanks for taking me under your wing, you guys."
"You've thanked us enough times already," Rude said to Geno as he and Turks positioned themselves under the UFO. "Just beam us up..."
"Was 'recruiting' this lizard creep after he got booted from the mansion such a good idea?" Elena whispered to Reno; a part of her wished that the Turks' encounter with Gex had never transpired.
"I mean, someone had to pilot that UFO," Reno whispered back, as he and Rude found some value in keeping Gex around. "Crypto is a feisty little fella - that's why he's still held captive."
"Hmph, seems fair. You did say that traveling in a UFO would make our work confidential...so I guess I won't complain."
Once he was ready, Gex beamed up the Turks and closed the hatch, before taking off in the UFO. Gex was now on the Turks' side...who saw that one coming?
