Author's Note:

Is this the fourth Saturday update this year? I've lost count. So, in case you somehow forgot, or somehow didn't know, this is the second part of the wedding chapter. This part was a lot bigger than I intended and was a struggle to write for the most part. A frustrating struggle. Some parts had to be cut out, while some scenes I had in mind didn't make the cut. Since it's late...MUCH later than I anticipated, I won't answer any reviews this week. Which will mean that next week's author's note might be potentially big...hoo boy. All in all, I'm happy that this chapter is done, so...enjoy.


Episode 305: Hyrule Part 2

The mansion was empty. Save for the pets, and the Rabbids in the basement, the mansion was for the most part unoccupied. All the mansion residents were at Hyrule for the wedding, and the same went for the tower denizens. As well as Mario and his neighbors.

However, not everyone was permitted to join the trip to Hyrule. While the Turks were allowed to come along to Hyrule, one person had to stay behind - and that person was Gex. Due to his combative personality (hint, hint, his wise-cracking jokes), Gex was asked to stay behind and "hold it down" until everyone made it back.

So until the wedding was done, and Link and Zelda made their vows and tied the knot, Gex decided to chill in the UFO spaceship. He would've gotten himself some food and drink from the mansion, but the building was locked from the inside. And the lizard was too lazy to order some grub from Uber Eats or something of that nature.

"Aw yeah, Gex...this is the life," Gex sighed in happiness, resting on top of the UFO while looking up at the sky. "This is like Aubrey Hepburn chilling in a pool at John DiMaggio's house." Some bird poop fell on his face, and Gex grumbled as he wiped it away. "Birds sure love to kill the mood..."

"Hey, you! Did the others leave yet?" someone called out to Gex, before throwing a random coconut at the lizard. That put Gex in a sour mood, as he quickly got up looking to throw some hands.

"Alright, who was the wise guy who threw that? I want names, and I want the street address too, just for good measure." Gex soon turned his attention to Cranky Kong, who approached the UFO with his cane.

"Were you the only one who stayed behind? Sorry for bothering you, but I was supposed to be on time for Link and Zelda's wedding. My silly son of mine forgot to remind me."

Cranky Kong: The others may not know it yet, but I am supposed to be at the wedding. I'm one of the invited guests. Either Link and Zelda forgot to put my name down, or the author himself had forgotten.

"I'm just here to maintain the peace," Gex explained to Cranky as he hopped down from the UFO, his incensed temper fading fast. "Better than that schmuck John Cena ever could."

"I was meant to be at the wedding, but everyone left me behind," stated Cranky, making a mental note in his head to beat Link and Zelda repeatedly on the head with his cane. "Those nimrods!"

"Hey, they left me behind because I would be a 'nuisance'. I think they were just worried about me stealing the show. Perfectly understandable."

"Let's see if there's anyone inside." So Cranky and Gex walked up the porch steps of the mansion, before reaching the front door. Gex knocked on the door, and Geo Stelar answered it.

"Sup fellas!" Geo excitedly greeted Gex and Cranky, while wearing a bath towel around his waist. Omega-Xis was with him. "Going to the wedding, too?"

"I'm going to the wedding - don't know about him." Cranky veered over at Gex, who was spraying some breath freshener into his mouth. "Shouldn't you have been there already?"

"Yes, but this fool wanted to take a pre-wedding nap," explained Omega-Xis, as Geo took the time to properly adjust his towel now that he was in the presence of others. "No one even bothered to wake him up."

Mega Man: No, we didn't forget to wake up Geo from his nap. We left him behind. On purpose.

"It's all good, I needed to shampoo my hair anyway," stated Geo, as he ran his fingers through his now clean hair. "That's why I took a shower."

"Can you take us to the wedding?" requested Cranky, as Geo was more than happy to grant the elderly Kong's wishes. "I wouldn't miss it for the world.

"Sure, I can take you guys there!" replied Geo, before running away - while holding unto his towel for dear life. "Let me get situated first."


Zelda had a dire situation on her hands. One of her wedding guests, Dr. Cortex, injured himself after performing a split at his party. The split left the evil genius in excruciating pain, which Uka thoroughly enjoyed. Almost too much, in fact.

Left in aching pain, Cortex was sitting on Zelda's bed while holding an ice bag over his crotch. Zelda and Ken kept Cortex company, as Zelda was using Ken's phone to contact someone.

"You never fail to embarrass yourself, Dr. Cortex," Uka said to the evil genius, who left moaning in pain. Uka would've felt second-hand embarrassment if it wasn't too busy being amused by Cortex's misfortune.

"Cortex, I am getting married in eight hours," Zelda reminded the evil genius, letting him know that his predicament was holding her and Link up.

"Some of the others might be too drunk," stated Cortex, as the pain between his legs was simply too hard to overcome. "Just don't let me die here!"

"Try calling Little Mac, he might be hanging out with Leia," Ken suggested to Zelda, who went to Ken's contact list and searched for Little Mac's name. "Phone service here should hold up..."

"Hello? Little Mac?" Zelda spoke into the phone, after finding Little Mac's name and making the call. "Where are you? Where's Leia? Can she come over and heal Cortex?"

"What?" Little Mac asked over the phone, seemingly unable to understand Zelda's question.

"He tore his scrotum dancing."

"What?" Little Mac asked over the phone, as he was starting to get on Zelda's nerves.

"He is in my room icing his balls."

"What?" Little Mac asked over the phone - where was Stone Cold Steve Austin when you need him?!

"Please stop saying what. Can Leia take him?"

"Look, she would so take him in any other circumstance, but I'm pretty certain she's completely wasted."

"You and Doc Louis took her out drinking, didn't you?"

"Uh...it was mostly Link's idea. Link, you wanna explain yourself?"

"Look, Zelda, I can explain!" Link was heard on the call, in a very defensive mood. "It was the Hyrulian rum. That stuff is kicking."

"Is that Zelda?" Mario asked over the phone, sounding like he butted Link and maybe Little Mac over. "Hey, have her come-a out! Have her come out! It would be like-a Coyote Ugly."

"You're out with Mario?" asked Zelda, wondering how many folks had come along with Link and got drunk.

"And King Dedede," replied Link, as he sounded rather disappointed. King Dedede must not be the best company to have.

"Hey-O!" King Dedede exclaimed over the phone, making his presence felt as Link and the others let out audible groans.

"Zelda, it just happened," Link informed the princess, who was now left with no other choice in mind.

"Okay, fine, I'll take him to Mercy or something," said Zelda; given that Mercy would revive people like it was nothing, Cortex would be A-OK in no time.

"I love you," Link said to Zelda, who felt too bothered now to say "I love you" back. "Okay, I gotta - I gotta go!"

"I love-a you!" Mario said to Zelda, before laughing his butt off. Zelda was not amused in the slightest.

"Are you pushing me off the phone?" Zelda asked Link, with suspicions that her fiance was trying to cut her loose.

"No, let's talk for a long time," replied Link, and yet Zelda was not convinced.

"Goodbye." Zelda ended the call, before handing Ken back his phone.


Link was at the bar, chilling with Mario, Little Mac, Doc Louis, and King Dedede. Mario looked at the time on his watch, both of his eyebrows raising when he saw what time it was.

"Mmm! It's after midnight," the plumber stated, before pointing at Link. Link looked around, confused as to why all the attention was on him.

"You're married," Mario, Little Mac, Doc Louis, and King Dedede all said to Link, before giving the Hylian a group hug. "He's married!"

"Congratulations," King Dedede congratulated Link, and after a few seconds passed, the group hug came to an end.

"That's not how that works," stated Link, as Mario and the others were appalled by the Hylian's response and lack of enthusiasm.

"Oh my goodness..." Doc Louis shook his head at Link, disgusted with the Hylian's behavior. "...you're not going to be able to talk back."

"You'll have Pam to answer to," added Little Mac, letting Link know who was taking command of the relationship. In some ways, he was right on the money.

"She'll be sitting at-a home saying, "Link...take the baby to the zoo cause I want to sit at home and eat bonbons,'" said Mario, as Little Mac and the others were laughing in response. Link was not amused. "'And...and clip my toenails.'"

"'Link, why don't you braid my hair?'" King Dedede took a crack at doing a Zelda limitation, although his voice wasn't up to par. "I want to watch TV."

"Now you sound like Kermit," Little Mac offered his critique to King Dedede, as Link wondered how much nonsense he could take.


Once Geo dried himself off and threw some clothes on, he went to the teleportation room to get the teleportation device booted up. Compared to Mega Man and the boys, Geo proficiency of the device...wasn't the best. But Gex and Cranky had high hopes in the young lad, as they waited outside the room.

"I can't wait to give Zelda a big hug," Cranky discussed with Gex, as he was dying to give the princess of Hyrule his congratulations. "And to slap Link for waiting so long."

"Better late than never, as I always say," responded Gex, before taking a sip from a glass of apple juice. Wasn't some bubbly, which he really wanted, but at least he found a beverage.

"Right on. I think Link and Zelda will be more than happy to see me. Or they'll consider themselves stupid for leaving me behind."

"No matter what reaction those two have, their wedding will be much improved when you're in attendance."

"I was just about to say something similar! Golly, Gex, you really are a smart cookie. I fail to see why anyone would..."

"Some bad news, you guys - I put on the wrong pair of shoes," Geo informed Gex and Cranky as he poked his head outside the teleportation room. "Since I gotta change 'em out, we might be running late."

"Take your time," Omega-Xis said to Geo, who ran down the hallway to his room. After Geo left, Omega-Xis facepalmed. "We're doomed..."


With Leia unable to heal Cortex, Zelda and Ken were forced to find another nurse to heal the evil genius. Fortunately, there was one other nurse who was invited to the wedding, and was available - and that was Mercy. According to Wario, Mercy was with her friends at some tavern, and since there were no vehicles in Hyrule, Zelda and Ken had to take Cortex on horseback.

"Are you sure we're going the right way?" Ken asked Zelda, as the two were riding in a horse carriage. Cortex was sitting in the back, still applying pressure from the ice pack to his crotch.

"No - I, like you, have never been to this tavern before," replied Zelda, hoping that the Overwatch gang hadn't left the tavern yet. Mercy was her only hope at the moment.

"Well, can you at least ask the person riding to slow down a little bit?" requested Cortex, who was so far having a very unpleasant experience. Seemed very on par for him. "Because every little bump in the road is a major pain on...my scrotum."

"Look, I'm not the one who asked you to do a split when you've never done one before."

"I was trying to liven things up a little bit. I was kinda doing your job so..."

"My job? My job is to get married in the morning. That's my job."

"Well it's also to make sure that we have a great time at your stupid wedding, so..." The carriage suddenly swerved back and forth on the road, causing much pain and discomfort to Cortex. "...ow, ow!"

"That's what you get," Uka grinned at Cortex, as he loved nothing more than to see the evil genius in pain.

Cortex: *snickers* I spent the night with the bride the night before the wedding. She stepped on my hand on her way to the bathroom.
Zelda: Cortex, did I dream that you were crying through the night?
Cortex: No. No that was real.


Although he had lost a lot of funds paying customers back, Popo still had some funds from his ice cream ventures. The Ice Climber took it upon himself to spend his money around Hyrule Town...although it wasn't as successful as he envisioned.

"We don't accept that kind of currency around here," a Goron running an outdoors shop kindly said to Popo, who had thrown a few Benjamins on the table. "Only rupees."

"But they're Benjamins, for crying out loud!" stated Popo, as he picked up a hundred dollar bill and showed it to the Goron shopkeeper. "Have you ever heard of Benjamin Franklin?"

"First time hearing that name." Disgusted by the Goron shopkeeper's ignorance, Popo grumbled and pouted. "Is that the funny-looking human on the piece of paper you're holding?"

"Forget about it..." Popo gathered his money from the table and walked away, wondering if the Goron shopkeeper was born yesterday. "...there's gotta be one shop in town that can do currency exchange."

"Popo, check out this free balloon I got!" Sonic ran over to the Ice Climber, showing off a blue balloon. With him was Amy, who had herself a pink balloon. "Got it by winning some mini-game thingamajig."

"Good for you." Popo would soon furrow his brow, as he got a good look at Sonic's wedding attire. "Sonic, what is that you're wearing? Are you going to a fish fry in town or something?"

"Ugh! Tails said the same thing. This is what happens when your pals have no fashion sense, Amy." Sonic expected Amy to be on his side, but instead...

"I seriously think you should stop wearing clothes to weddings," Amy suggested to Sonic, who was shocked and appalled by the pink hedgehog. "You're only embarrassing yourself."

Sonic: Everyone is trying to look all dressy with their suits and tuxedos and dresses...and then I come along wearing some casual wear, and people act like I'm the second coming of Ted Bundy. Whatever happened to being unique?

"Inklings, be honest...how does my wedding attire look?" Sonic asked the Inklings, who both passed by. The Inklings stopped and got a look at Sonic's fit, struggling to think of a positive comment.

"It fits you well; we can only say that much," replied the female Inkling, and it was an answer that Sonic sound some satisfaction with. "But we can't stay around and chat - we gotta go."

"Gotta go where?" Sonic confronted the Inklings, standing in their way so they wouldn't get past him. "You're too scared to say how you truly feel, isn't it?"

"We were just about to deliver some news to Master Hand. Just saw Falco and Pac-Man doing some shady stuff outside the town."

"Pac-Man, being shady?" Sonic almost wanted to burst out laughing when he heard that. "I don't believe you. How about you show it to us?"

"I mean, he and Falco might've already stopped by now, but..." The female Inkling wanted to get a move on, but Sonic was standing on her toes. "...eh, what the heck."


As with most other hotels, the hotel in Hyrule Town had a separate room for an ice machine. One hotel employee holding an ice bucket entered the room with the ice machine was, and saw an unwelcome sight - Cilan, folding his pants on top of the ice machine, with his boxers exposed. Cilan turned around and saw the man, frowning.

"Why don't you take a picture, it'll last longer," Cilan suggested to the man, who exited the ice machine room rather disturbed. Should've locked the door. "Can't I get a little privacy?"

"I know, right?" someone said, as Cilan looked up and screamed when he saw Iris, sitting atop the ice machine. Kinda ironic for Iris. "People just don't know how to value privacy these days!"

"I-Iris? How long were you sitting up there?" Cilan felt heavily violated, especially now that Iris had seen him without his pants on.

"I dunno, kinda lost track of time. Thought it would've taken forever until you noticed." Iris saw Cilan feeling lightheaded, with the connoisseur struggling to keep his balance.

"Nowhere in this hotel is safe...couldn't even handle my business in my own room!" Collecting his dignity and pride, Cilan snatched his pants and quickly put them on. "Waluigi is such a horrible roommate."

"Dr. Eggman, I cannot thank you enough for bailing me out on this one," Ganondorf was heard speaking, as Cilan and Iris's ears perked up. The two trainers from Unova looked out of the room and saw Eggman and Ganondorf in the lobby.

"Believe me, Ganon, Link and Zelda will be thanking me even more," Eggman assured the demon lord, placing a hand on his shoulder. "I am sure of it!"

"Still, Link was a stupid idiot for giving me a chance. The nerve of him..." Having heard enough, Cilan and Iris pulled themselves back inside the ice machine room to discuss.

"What were those two going on about?" Cilan asked Iris as he closed the door behind him. "And why on earth would Link and Zelda need to 'thank' Eggman?"

"I personally wouldn't thank Dr. Eggman even if he saved my Haxorus from a Guzzlord," admitted Iris - what a very specific example to use. "Sounds like an investigation is in order!"

"Layton and Luke sure would come in handy right now." Stepping up to the task, Cilan smiled and adjusted his bowtie. "I'll just have to step in their shoes!"

Cilan: Some suspicious stuff is obviously going on. I just hope that I didn't accidentally speak some mayhem into existence!


The Inklings brought Sonic, Amy, and Popo to an open field in Hyrule - and to their joy, Falco and Pac-Man were still at the same spot they saw them. Falco and Pac-Man were seen speaking with Zant, who had some hooded fellow next to him.

"Is that Zant?" inquired Sonic, as he made out the king of twilight from the distance. "Still wearing that ugly helmet, I see...his face must be even uglier!"

"I bet - I can't see him finding a soulmate anytime soon," remarked Popo, not taking the situation seriously as the Inklings were both frowning.

"Did you two forget about what Zant did?" the male Inkling asked Sonic and Popo as if the two had long-term memory loss. "He was the driving force behind that whole truce with the manor!"

"Yes, and the manor made peace with us two years ago," stated Sonic, wishing that he was around to see Mario and Nathan Drake shake formally hands. "Zant is probably doing the same thing here."

"But shouldn't he do that with Mario or Link instead?" asked Amy, as the hooded fellow accompanying Zant gave her much anxiety. "I think we should see what they're talking about."

"Let's move a bit closer," suggested the female Inkling, as she led the group closer to Zant and company. Everyone got situated, hiding among the shrubbery.

"So as long as I do this, then the officiant role is all mine," Pac-Man said to Zant, who nodded his head. The fact Pac-Man was even trusting Zant, given his history, was a shame.

"Also, I won't be compelled to kill Link and Zelda...and everyone else," stated Zant, making sure that Pac-Man did what he asked of him. "Think about your friends and family."

"I'm not so sure about this, dude," Falco said to Pac-Man, ready to turn back while he still could. Doing it against Zant was no bueno, though.

"Turning away so easily?" the hooded man asked Falco as he approached the avian pilot. Sonic and the others made out the hooded man's face, seeing a white face with black marks over it.

"Leave it alone, Astor," Zant said to the hooded man, as he gently pushed him away from Falco. "This is Pac-Man's decision. It's for him to decide."

"You're not serious about killing everyone...are you?" Pac-Man asked Zant with a slight giggle, and Zant wasn't laughing in the slightest.

"I am as serious as I can be. But, you're more than free to decline my offer...if you wish for everyone to die sooner."

"Nope, my mind's been made up, I'll do as you say!" Pac-Man was guilt-tripped, and it worked like a charm for Zant.

"You made an excellent choice picking out this one, Zant," Astor said to the king of twilight, who opened up a twilight portal behind him. "He's so desperate!"

"He's not desperate - he's just looking for an opportunity." Before entering through the portal, Zant turned around at Falco and Pac-Man. "I'll see you two in the morning."

"Uh, you too, Zant!" responded Pac-Man, before Zant and Astor entered the twilight portal. Once the portal dispersed, Falco ran away out of fear. "Falco, where are you going?"

Falco: I'm about to get everybody killed. Just merely stating the obvious, before it actually happens.

"Still think that Zant is trying to 'make peace', Sonic?" the female Inkling asked the blue hedgehog, frowning. Everyone had their eyes on Sonic.

"Maybe he's just trying to spread the love around," Sonic assumed with a shrug, the Inklings walked away. "I'm sure this is just a nothing-burger."

"I'm not so sure, Sonic..." remarked Amy, as she too walked away from the premises. With no one else to turn to, Sonic looked over at Popo, who could only muster a shrug in response.


It was now the next morning, which only meant one thing - the day of the wedding had finally arrived! Dr. Wily, who refused to attend the wedding with his bald spot exposed, also lost his shoes apparently. The inventor ran to the front desk and rang the bell, as a hotel employee came to his aid.

"Good morning," the hotel employee greeted Wily, who was looking rather impatient. "How can I help you?"

"I left a pair of dress shoes in a bag outside my door last night to be cleaned at polished," explained Wily, who couldn't be seen without his shoes. Or his wig, if he chose to wear one. "But they haven't been returned yet."

"You must be Dr. Wily. One moment, please." The hotel employee called over the manager, and whispered to him, "Sir. It's the man with the shoes." The manager whispered something to the hotel employee, who then told Wily, "Dr. Wily, your shoes are gone?"

"They were stolen?!" Whoever stole Wily's shoes was bound to pay, and in more ways than one.

"No. Destroyed. The bag was opened by our shoeshine and the smell overcame him. I too smelled them and made the choice that they must be thrown away. Incinerated actually."

"But that was my only pair of shoes."

"It became a safety issue, sir."

"Well...well dang it." Wily slammed his fists on the front desk, faced with the possibility of attending the wedding in socks.

"I can offer you a complimentary breakfast."

"Okay..." Accepting his losses, Wily walked away from the front desk in a bitter mood.


Dante might not have landed a woman, but he was getting close as he had spent a night with the Zora princess, Ruto. The vigilante was speaking with Ruto outside of his hotel room and was getting to know her better.

"So are you sure you don't want breakfast?" Ruto asked Dante, as King Dedede was creeping up on Dante with a creepy smile. "It's the most important meal of the day!'

"It really is, but I'm not hungry," replied Dante, yawning loudly as he stretched out his arms. "I ate a whole bunch of sunflower seeds before I went to sleep. And besides, I wouldn't want to take you away from Zelda on the morning of her wedding. She needs you, Ruto."

"That's really sweet, Dante. So I'll see you at the wedding?"

"You know it." Dante flashed a smile to Ruto, as King Dedede was thoroughly enjoying what he was seeing.

"Okay, bye!" Ruto said goodbye to Dante, as she went down the hallway. Walked extra fast to make it past King Dedede.

"Hey, good morning," King Dedede greeted Ruto, who ignored the fat penguin completely. Dedede then turned his attention to Dante. "It's about time. I haven't gone to the bathroom in a day and a half..."


Zant was in Hyrule, somewhere, and the Turks were on the search for the king of twilight. Reno, Rude, and Elena lurked around Hyrule Town, expecting Zant to show up at any given minute.

"Heard about the Inklings telling Master Hand about Zant last night," Elena said to Reno and Rude, knowing that such information couldn't be withheld. "Apparently, Falco and Pac-Man were seen with him."

"Must be turncoats," assumed Reno as he let out a small laugh while looking up at the sky and seeing the clouds pass over. "Falco fits the bill way more than Pac-Man ever..."

Suddenly a bright flash of light occurred in Hyrule Town, right in front of the Turks, as it caught the attention of the townsfolk. Once the light subsided, Geo Stelar, Omega-Xis, Cranky Kong, and Gex were all standing in the middle of the town.

"Remember, kids - never brush your teeth with peanut butter," Gex offered this piece of advice to the townsfolk - or at least the little children that were present. Save for one woman who fainted to the ground, the townsfolk carried on with their business.

"Gex?! You were supposed to stay behind and guard the UFO!" Rude scolded the lizard; that UFO was the Turks' only way back home. "Why did you have to come to Hyrule?"

"Because this guy wanted to attend the wedding." Gex brought the Turks' attention to Cranky, who was happy to be in Hyrule as he inhaled and exhaled the Hyrulian air. "Can't let the elderly go unattended."

Omega-Xis: We were meant to be in Hyrule much sooner, but Geo sadly isn't the best when it comes to operating the teleportation device. The reason it took us so long was that Geo accidentally took us to some third-world country, where we got arrested simply just for existing. Gex had to bust us out of that rinky-dink prison, and it took him forever to do it.

"So, this is Hyrule..." observed Gex as he took a look around the town, seeing the townsfolk and the medieval buildings. "...a lot more elf people than I originally anticipated."

"Since you're here, Gex, why don't you do some recon work for us?" Reno asked the lizard, who was pretty much game for anything the Turks asked him. "Be on the lookout for a guy named Zant."

"It's this guy," Rude said to Gex as he showed him a picture of Zant on his phone. Gex almost did a double-take. "That's a helmet he's wearing."

"So he wasn't born looking like that...phew, good to know," Gex sighed in relief, before donning his iconic sunglasses. "Gex the Gecko takes flight!" Gex ran away, and a few seconds later, he ran in the other direction. "Going the wrong way!"

"Pardon me, but has the wedding started yet?" Cranky asked the Turks, hoping that he wasn't too late. "Link and Zelda left without me."

"The wedding won't start until an hour or two," replied Elena, who furrowed her brow when she saw two heads sticking out from behind a stationary wagon, before pulling back in. Cranky sighed in relief. "You made it just in time."


Many of the wedding guests gathered around for breakfast that morning, and Shadow was forced to share a table with Sonic, Dante, Popo, and King Dedede. Sonic was eating his breakfast like an animal, which disturbed Shadow greatly.

"How can you eat like that?" Shadow questioned Sonic, disgusted by the blue blur's table manners. He could only imagine how Sonic ate his breakfast and dinner at the mansion.

"I'm ravenous after a night of love with Amy," replied Sonic, as he stuffed himself with some eggs and waffles. Shadow almost wanted to vomit. "You?"

"Yeah, I'm hungry, but I'm not going to make a pig out of myself."

"Hey, what is she like?" Dante asked King Dedede, believing that the fat penguin had the time of his life last night with Captain Syrup. King Dedede was struggling to come up with an answer.

"She is cute and hot," King Dedede described to Dante, and he could literally spend an entire day talking up a storm about how beautiful Captain Syrup was. "She is very hot. She made love like a tiger."

"I bet she has hairy armpits," joked Sonic, eavesdropping on the conversation as he stuffed his mouth with some hash browns. Unable to take it anymore, Shadow covered his mouth as he quickly ran away from the table.

"Ruto was nice, but I hope she doesn't think this is going anywhere," stated Dante, kicking back as he folded his arms and rested his feet on the table. King Dedede, who was sipping his glass of orange juice, spat out its contents in shock.

"Wait a sec - you're not into her?" the fat penguin questioned Dante, hoping that the vigilante realized the big mistake he was making. "Are you kidding me? She's one of Zelda's friends. You guys could double date. Swap maybe?"

"Oh please. Put a gun in my mouth." Dante was not fully committed to Ruto, and it made King Dedede very disappointed.

"No...you're crazy." King Dedede almost felt like getting up and storming away out of disappointment, but he restrained himself.

"Look. She's a princess for some fish people and she's objectively one of the more attractive ones because of her gender. She's a bumpkin. Pass."

"She's...okay. Do you know how hard it is to be a princess? Or a ruler? You have to command respect. You have to thwart constant attempts of others trying to steal your crown. You have to tell kids that they'll mount up to nothing in life and make sure they're not scared when you arrive in town."

"You should ask her out." Flabbergasted by Dante's suggestion, King Dedede stood up and looked at the vigilante with heavy disdain.

"I already have my pirate girlfriend." Leaving in a huff, King Dedede walked away from the table, leaving Dante to finish his breakfast. Soon the Inklings came over to the table.

"Guys, you won't believe this," the female Inkling said to Sonic and Popo, as Dante curiously made himself part of the conversation. "The Turks...they came to Hyrule just to look for Zant."

"And? Why are you telling us this for?" questioned Sonic, failing to see what the big issue was. "Are you guys a part of their investigation?"

"Did you not see what happened last night?" the male Inkling frowned at Sonic, as Dante listened on smirking with his chin resting on his hand. "When Falco and Pac-Man were speaking with Zant and that hooded guy?"

"The Turks just asked Gex to go look for Zant," added the female Inkling, as she really had Dante's full attention. "Some stuff is clearly doing down."

"Gex is hunting down Zant?" asked Dante, finally injecting himself into the conversation as he scratched his chin. "Ooh, this is getting spicy..."

"Y'know, the Turks have been investigating for a long time..." stated Popo, as he was putting together the puzzle pieces in his head. "...remember Tokyo?"

"Might be on to something, my man. Zant might be the one those Turks have been looking for all along. Don't know why he would be in Tokyo, though."

"You seem deep in thought, Popo," Sonic said to the Ice Climber, who had a couple of gears grinding in that brain of his. "Lemme guess - you wanna investigate?"

"Took the words right out of my mouth..." replied Popo as he confidently stood on the table, nearly knocking his plate of food onto the floor. "...Dante, go and round of the gang. We're back in business!"


The Temple of Hylia, the venue of the wedding, was pretty far away from Hyrule Town. But thankfully, there was a way to get there.

"So these...Guardians, will take the guests to the temple?" Master Hand spoke with renowned Sheikah scientist, Purah, who was watching over a bunch of Guardians. The Guardians were topless, for the lack of a better word, and were transporting people left and right.

"Up to four persons per Guardian," Purah answered with a smile, proud of the work she had done with the transport Guardians. "Although some exceptions can be made."

"Aw yeah, this is what's up!" cheered King K. Rool, who had a Guardian all for himself due to his large size. The Kremling felt like the king of the world.

"King K. Rool, get back here - you're not even using the seatbelt function!" Purah chased after the Guardian King K. Rool was riding on, which was moving deceptively fast.

Purah: Making the Guardians for transport purposes was super easy. Just take the top off, rearrange the circuits, and BOOM! It's like a whole new robot. The Guardians surprisingly operate well headless - if you catch my drift. *smiles*

"Is Ganondorf still the official...officiant?" Pac-Man approached Master Hand, as he was twiddling with his fingers. "Just wanna make sure, hehe..."

"Let me ask you a better question - what were you doing with Zant?" Master Hand interrogated Pac-Man, as he put the eater of ghosts on the spot. Pac-Man was terrified in a hurry.

"M-Me? Hanging out with Zant? I haven't seen that guy in a minute!" Pac-Man was clearly lying through his teeth - if he had any - and Master Hand failed to pick up on his scent.

"You haven't? Hm, those Inklings must have lied to me again. Very well then. Carry on." So Master Hand floated away from Pac-Man, who let out a sigh of relief as he wiped away the sweat from his forehead.

"One at a time," said Skyward Zelda, as Skyward Link, Champion Link, Commander Zelda, Toon Zelda, and the buddy cops got on one of the Guardians one at a time. Just as Skyward Zelda instructed.

"Never thought that I would be riding on one of these things," remarked Champion Link, as he hoped on top of the Guardian and buckled himself in. Taking a deep breath, Pac-Man went over to the Hylians.

"How's it going, fellas and felines?" the eater of ghosts greeted the Hylians, as he caught their attention. "You may not know this, but I'm the officiant for the wedding!"

"I thought Ganondorf was the officiant. Or did he turn the job down? You're going to officiate the wedding, Pac-Man?"

"Has this been confirmed by Link and Zelda themselves?" asked Skyward Link, as sweat was running down Pac-Man's face. For a guy who apparently couldn't bleed, Pac-Man sure knew how to sweat buckets.

"...not officially, but they'll make it known real soon!" replied Pac-Man, before looking to see if there was any room for him on the traveling Guardian. "Is there any room for me?"

"Hm...you might be small enough to squeeze in," replied Commander Zelda, wondering why Pac-Man would travel with the Hylian group rather than his own family. Seemed suspicious. "If you don't mind the tight squeeze!"

"Not at all!" Jumping the gun, Pac-Man got on the Guardian, cutting the line in front of Toon Zelda. "Hurry up, everyone, let's go!"

"You're really doing this, huh..." a certain avian pilot said to Pac-Man, as Falco showed up showing some disappointment in Pac-Man. "...you're going through with this."

"Yes, Falco, I am going through with this...riding with these guys to the temple. Wink, wink." Pac-Man winked at Falco with a smile, and that made Falco feel even more disappointed.

"That was weird for him to do..." Toon Zelda whispered to the buddy cops, as Falco lost all hope and threw his arms up in defeat.

"Okay man...you made your choice," Falco said to Pac-Man, too ashamed to even look at the eater of ghosts' face. "I'm sorry for putting you through this. Just...just go, man!"

Falco: I'm such a horrible person. All I wanted was to officiate just one wedding, ONE wedding, but instead I... *sighs* ...I don't even wanna talk about it anymore.

"Falco, what's the matter with you?" Fox asked Falco, as he saw the avian pilot walking away from Pac-Man and the Hylians. "And why is Pac-Man hitching a ride with the Hylian peeps?"

"I am so sorry, Fox," Falco apologized to Fox, as he sincerely placed his hands on the pilot's shoulders. "I really let you down. I'm a terrible friend."

"...that's what got you so down? Thought you were sad because the Hylians would let you ride with them. Look, they're getting away!"

"You just don't get it, do you..." Falco sighed depressingly as he took his hands away from Fox, before plodding away with heavy regret. Fox watched solemnly as his friend walked away.


The guests were gathering in the Temple of Hylia, a temple located in the Sealed Grounds within Faron Woods, and that was the very temple where the wedding would be held. Seats were arranged ahead of time and were done in rows (because how else would the seats be done?). One of the guests not only found some tissue box shoes for the wedding, but also some hair...

"Oh my goodness..." marveled Palutena, her eyes growing wide as she saw Dr. Wily enter her row. Wily was hearing a grey hairpiece over his bald spot, and it sure looked funny on his head.

"Good morning, Lady Palutena," Wily greeted the goddess of light as he took a seat, while those sitting behind Wily were stifling their laughter.

"Are you in a lot of pain?" Tiki asked Cortex, who made extra sure to arrive at the temple early so he could secure a spot next to the Manakete. Despite his level of discomfort.

"Because of last night?" asked Cortex, before brushing off Tiki's concern as he tried to fake not being in pain. "No way. Reports have been exaggerated. Weddings make me very emotional. I, um, just have that side to me."

"Uka says you cry all the time." Feeling offended, Cortex looked up at Uka and glared at him. "He really wanted to let me know."

"Crotch injuries are the worst," remarked Cortex, who was sitting next to Tiki, as she was speaking from experience. "You don't need to tell me."

"I wasn't telling you," Cortex said to Lucina, wanting the princess to speak to Chrom instead. Lucina's dad was, quite frankly, not the best person for conversation before a wedding.

"Is there still something there? It didn't get torn off?"

"No, it didn't...nothing got torn off. Who told you that?"

Link: I may have told some people that. I'm nervous. I'm about to get married.

"If you want to sit on this..." Tiki whispered to Cortex, before handing the evil genius a wrap. The thought that counts. "...I was thinking the wood might be too hard on your damaged penis."

"It was my scrotum, but thank you," Cortex thanked Tiki as he accepted the wrap from the Manakete. Soon Simon came busting through the temple, carrying something in his hands.

Simon: I have taken it upon myself to do something a little more special. I have found this quilt of Link and Zelda a few years ago. *holds up the quilt of Link and Zelda from episode 144* And I have another one of them in the nude. But that one is for Meta Knight, it was a special request of his. He wanted me to ask Yoshi's knitting crew to make it which only shows, deep down, how truly ashamed he was.

Hammer Bro: I got them a set of turtle boiling pots, a shell hammer, and bibs. *smacks hammer into bib*


The ice cream gang was back together again - Popo, Nana, Crash, Sonic, Banjo, Kazooie, Dante, and the Inklings were all reunited and were huddled outside the temple. Oh, and Aku was there to protect Crash. Guardian duty always calls.

"I'll be in the temple, keeping my eyes peeled," Dante said to the others as he went inside the temple. "You guys handle business outside."

"He's already calling it quits, I just know it," Kazooie assumed after Dante had gone inside, expecting the vigilante to slack off on the job. "Never trust a demon hunter!"

"We trusted him with delivering ice cream," Banjo said to Kazooie, who rolled her eyes in response. "I would trust Dante with my life!"

"Yeah, and how did that go? How much of that money was legit?" Kazooie was prepared to bring up the money situation, and it got Popo's blood boiling.

"Can we please focus?" Popo shouted at Kazooie, and the outburst was unexpected as Kazooie shut her yap real quick. "You can carry on about the money another time. As for right now..."

"Huh, weird - Fox said he saw them leave on the Guardian a couple of minutes ago," Cloud spoke into the phone, as Popo and the ice cream gang curiously came over to the swordsman. "Uh, hold that thought."

"Is there a problem, Cloud?" Nana asked the swordsman, who momentarily put his phone down to give the ice cream gang his attention.

"Afraid so - Skyward Link and Skyward Zelda haven't shown up yet." Skyward Link and Skyward Zelda were needed as parents for the wedding - no time for any last-minute substitutions. "Link and Zelda don't know yet, and I'm too hesitant to..."

"Hey, Cloud, wanna play some kickball?" Link asked the swordsman as he approached him with a ball in his hands. Cloud held his tongue. "Gotta relieve some stress before the big moment."

"Give me a sec, I'm on the phone," Cloud said to Link, before turning his attention back to the ice cream gang. "If you see the 'parents', let me know." On that note, Cloud walked away and continued his phone call. Link walked away looking for someone to play with.

"Why is Skyward Zelda the 'parent'?" questioned Sonic, having many questions about Skyward Zelda's "credibility". "Bet she's not even a real Zelda! She has blonde hair!"

"Don't be a Mario," Nana said to Sonic, who decided to save his rant for another time. "So where do we start first, Popo?"


In the back of the temple, Iris was getting Zelda fitted in her wedding dress. Peach, Daisy, and Midna were around to keep the peace - and to repel anyone from sneaking their way in. Someone like Chrom, for instance.

"Is it zipping over your belly?" Daisy asked Peach, who was zipping her dress over her stomach. "Don't squish the baby."

"The baby was literally conceived last week, but thanks anyway," Peach thanked Daisy, before zipping her dress up ever so delicately."

"Did you see Wendy's stupid blonde extensions?" Midna asked Peach and Daisy, unable to take the sight of the female Kooplaing's hair out of her mind. "It's like they were made from a plastic broom!"

"Okay ladies, here she comes!" announced Iris, as she and Zelda came out from the room they were in. Zelda was adorned in her wedding dress, and she had makeup applied to her face - courtesy of Iris.

"Wow, Zelda, you look beautiful," Peach complimented the princess, getting her to smile and blush. Iris fixed Zelda up well. "Link deserves you."

"Are you sure about that?" Midna asked Peach with a hint of skepticism, before turning her attention to Zelda. "Remember you don't have to do this, Zelda."

"Midna, you're totally projecting," Daisy said to the imp, wondering why Zelda's closest confidant was being so negative on the day of the wedding. "You're being a drag."

"Hey, I'm going to go outside and talk to Cilan," Iris said to Zelda and company, as she had some last-minute obligations to fill. "And to see how the wedding officiant thing is holding up."

"Okay, great, I'll see you in a second," Zelda said to Iris, who smiled as she went out of the room. Then Zelda furrowed her brow. "Wait, what?" Zelda tried to follow Iris out of the room, but her veil got caught on the wall and tore. Hoo boy...


Outside the temple, Link was playing some kickball with Lucas and Ness to pass the time, while the guests were filling in. Cloud came over to Link, as he was on the phone with someone.

"Hey, it's for you," Cloud said to Link as he handed the phone over to the groom. "Peach just called; Zelda's on the phone."

"Hello? Link?" Zelda spoke to her fiance after Link accepted the phone from Cloud. "Can you come here, please?"

"Is this allowed?" asked Link, not wanting to break any wedding protocol. Being the groom, he had to hold himself to a high standard.

"No, but I'm allowing it. Just come here."


Dante found a seat in the temple and was seated next to Urbosa, as he chatted with the Gerudo champion. Ruto entered the temple and saw Dante, smiling as she ran over to greet the vigilante.

"Hello stranger," Ruto greeted Dante, who put his conversation on pause as he turned around the Zora princess. "How do I look?" Hard for Dante to say, considering that Ruto was unchanged from the last time he saw her.

"Uh, fine," answered Dante, before holding his hand out to Ruto. "Nice to see you. What do you want?"

"Um..." Baffled by the maneuver that Dante used, Ruto shook her head. "..nothing. Anymore." With that response in mind, Dante turned back to Urbosa.

"So, uh, tell me again the difference between a male Gerudo and a female Gerudo. Aside from the obvious ones." Ruto turned around and walked away, only to run into King Dedede.

"He's not sitting with me either," King Dedede stated to Ruto, expecting the turn the Zora's princess's smile upside down. "Where are you sitting? You need a seat buddy? I got one already, but I can use one more."

"I'm standing," responded Ruto, and King Dedede was perfectly fine standing throughout the wedding. "I'm a bridesmaid." And just like that, Dedede's hopes were crushed as Ruto walked away.

"Oh, I wish I was a bridesmaid." You sure would be a sucky one, King Dedede. "Where am I gonna go?"

"Cilan, I don't know how you did...but you did it," a proud Cilan said to himself, as he marveled at the wedding cake he worked so hard on. The connoisseur almost shed a tear.

"You're not talking about actually bringing the cake inside the temple, are you?" Villager asked Cilan, as he too was marveling at the wedding cake. "Because that was all me."

Villager: Pocket is super reliable. I held the cake in my Pocket for over 24 hours, and yet it still looked good as new when I pulled it out! Almost felt like I was carrying around air.

"Oogling over your cake again, Cilan?" Iris approached the connoisseur, effectively snapping him out of his trance. "Have you even been keeping an eye on Eggman and Ganondorf, like you said you would?"

"Of course! How would I forget?" questioned Cilan, before smacking his forehead. When he pulled his hand away, he saw Eggman speaking with Ganondorf, with Cubot and Orbot idly standing by. "There they are..."

"And you're positive that he'll make his 'grand appearance' at this temple," Ganondorf discussed quietly with Eggman, as Cilan and Iris marched over to the two villains.

"Would make a lot of sense if he did," responded a confident Eggman, as Cilan and Iris now stood in the mad scientist's presence. "Although his plans might be subject to change..."

"Dr. Eggman and Ganondorf!" Cilan shouted the villains' names as he pointed at them both. The connoisseur caused a scene, with Dante among one of those to look up. "We know your wretched secrets..."

"Alright, which one of you blokes told him about my speedo collection?" Eggman frowned at Orbot and Cubot, who were both shivering in fear. "I will say it was Cubot..."

"This has very little to do with...speedos, Dr. Eggman. This is about your pact with Ganondorf! What did you bail him out from?"

"Being nosy today, aren't we? Is that really the right attitude to have, when Link and Zelda are about to get married?"

"SILENCE!" No one ever spoke to Eggman with such authority, aside from Master Hand, and Eggman was taken back as he raised his eyebrows. "It's clear as day that you and Ganondorf got something planned. Spit it out!"

"Okay then, Mr. Tough Guy, I'll just tell you the fine print! Since you're so curious..."

Before Eggman could say a word, Cilan was ambushed when a certain lizard landed on top of him, descending from the ceiling via grappling hook. Iris gasped and moved out of the way, as Gex made his grand appearance.

"The man of the hour...has come!" announced Gex, as his presence caught everyone's attention - including Dante's. "Here's Johnny!"

"A simple warning...would've been nice..." said Cilan, writhing in pain as Gex had his feet on the connoisseur's neck. Gex was too busy relishing the moment to care.

"You should all consider yourself fortunate to see me," Gex addressed everyone looking, appreciating all the eyeballs that were on him. "It was thanks to some simpleton and his friend that I'm even here."

"Dang...he really just called you a simpleton," Geo said to Omega-Xis, sitting at the back of the temple with the AM-ian. Omega-Xis sighed and facepalmed. "Hey man, take it easy, I've been called much worse than you have!"

Mega Man: We all had our reasons for leaving Geo behind. Lloyd had wisened up lately, which made Geo our most recent resident "wedding buffoon". Guess we asked too much to have a remotely peaceful wedding.

"Gex? Are you after my speedo collection too?" Eggman asked the lizard; Gex definitely looked like the kind of guy that would gloss through a speedo catalog.

"Had it been another day, then yes," replied Gex, as he left Eggman with some wariness. "But I have come here to ask you about Zant..."

"Z-Zant?!" stammered Master Hand, hearing the conversation from afar as he floated over to Gex and company. "...is he trying to ruin the wedding?"

"Perhaps, but I did where he is hiding. Heard Eggman's name tossed around a bit, and I thought that Eggman deserved to know."

"Zant is hiding? Where is he hiding? And what is he even doing at this hiding spot of his?"

"He has several of the wedding guests held hostage. Make of it what you will." Upon hearing this, Master Hand started shaking with fear - and possible anger.

"Maybe they were right...perhaps those Inklings spoke the truth." Still shaking, Master Hand floated back to his position, as Falco cautiously left the premises to avoid Master Hand's potential wrath.

"Welp...time to make my move," remarked Dante as he got up from his seat, making his way over to Gex. "It was nice speaking with you, Urbosa."

"I reckon that the bride and groom deserve to know about this," stated Gex, as he stepped off of Cilan. Cilan sighed in so much relief. "Little do they know that they're in for a trap..."

"Show us where this Zant is," demanded Eggman, speaking on behalf of Ganondorf and himself on as he pushed his glasses up on his nose. "I've got a bone to pick with him..."

"Can I come with you?" Dante asked Gex, who was more than happy to bring as many people on board as possible. "Some pals of mine are looking for Zant."

"Is there a fairy in the Hyrule plains?" asked Gex, before laughing at his own joke as he clapped his hands together. "Go right ahead..."


During their investigation outside the temple, the ice cream gang ran into the Turks, who were having an investigation of their own. Popo wanted to work with the Turks, but Reno rejected the Ice Climber's request.

"But we're looking for Zant, too!" Popo said to Reno, and that wasn't enough to change the Turks' minds. "We both share a common goal..."

"Leave this to the grown-ups, buckaroo," Reno told Popo, daring not to question just how old the Ice Climber was. That would lead to quite the rabbit hole. "Stay in the temple just like everybody else..."

"Got some good news, you guys," Dante informed the ice cream gang as he showed up outside. "I know where Zant is hiding."

"You do? Where is he?" inquired Sonic, as the Turks were also listening in. Dante could be the Turks' big break.

"Apparently, he's at some abandoned castle with some 'hostages'. Heard it from Gex himself."

"Howdy pals!" Gex greeted the ice cream gang from afar, as he was standing with Eggman and Ganondorf. "No time to lose. Let's break a leg!"

"So how about it?" Popo asked the Turks, who were faced with the prospect of going with the ice cream gang. Reno sighed.


Link and Cloud searched around for Zelda and found the princess in a secret part of the temple where she could sulk in private. The two swordsmen found Zelda all alone with Midna and went over to speak with her.

"Wow, Zelda," Link said to the princess, taken back by simply how stunning she looked. "You look..."

"Terrible," Zelda would answer for Link, as she was almost on the verge of tears. Not the right kind of mood to be in.

"...so beautiful." Sadly Zelda thought otherwise, as she started to cry. Link, going into cheering up mode, quickly took a seat next to his future wife.

"My veil tore. I knew when we were getting married that I'm not going to be able to wear the dress that I always wanted or high heels..."

"Hey, you look just as I imagined you would." Link would take Zelda's hands, letting her know that everything would be alright. "Zelda, you're so pretty."

"Thank you," Zelda thanked Link after letting out a sigh, as a smile was slowly starting to form on her face.

"Who cares? It's a stupid veil, right?" asked Cloud, who was under the impression that Zelda planned on backing out of the wedding like Peach almost did. To him, a torn veil wasn't anything worth crying over.

"No, this was the one thing I was supposed to be able to control, was this veil and..." Zelda would stop speaking, as Link took out his Master Sword and used it to cut his tie.

"There - now we're even," stated Link, as Zelda laughed and mimed taking a picture. Then Link and Zelda kissed each other, but not long before Zelda let out another sigh.

"Everyone's driving me crazy. I know way too much about Cortex's scrotum. And Dr. Wily won't stop freaking out about his shoes being destroyed. This is supposed to be our wedding day. Why did we invite all these people?"

"Um, you guys got a minute?" asked a certain avian pilot as Link, Zelda, and Cloud saw Falco meekly stepping into the premises. "I just...wanna apologize."

Falco: I did it. I did it. I ruined Link and Zelda's wedding. I just wanted to live out my dream, but instead, I ruined Link and Zelda's big day. And it was all my fault. Why can't I use common sense? Might as well own up to my mistakes.

"Is it about those lousy attempts to be the wedding officiant," Link asked Falco, who sighed as he took a seat next to the Hylian. "Look, nobody told you to bring a gun...or a yakuza..."

"It's not about that," said Falco, mustering up the courage to tell Link and Zelda what they needed to know. "I unknowingly brought Zant into your wedding."

"You WHAT?" Link was now incensed, standing up and frowning down at Falco like he was crazy. "What, why, how..."

"Zant approached me and Pac-Man last night, while we were talking about our plans to take out Dr. Eggman so that Pac-Man could be the officiant. He said that he would take care of Eggman for us...but only if Pac-Man did a favor of his."

"What exactly was this favor?" Cloud asked Falco, who let out a sigh - this was the part that Falco had feared the most.

"The favor was...to gather up all the Link and Zelda incarnations and take them to some faraway location. Zant hoped that it would lure you guys to them, and then he could...destroy you, and all that jazz."

"And Pac-Man agreed to do this?" Cloud noticed that Pac-Man was mysteriously MIA - now it was starting to make sense.

"It wasn't his decision...I kinda put him up to do it. I knew how much he wanted to officiate a wedding, and I didn't want to crush his dreams."

"Falco, this is Zant we're talking about here," Midna stated to Falco, hoping that the avian pilot knew how much he goofed up. "Did you forget about that whole treaty thing that easily?"

"Where is Zant anyway?" Zelda asked Falco, believing that the avian pilot might have a clue about the king of twilight's whereabouts. "Is Pac-Man with him?"

"I think so; Pac-Man took the guys and gals to some castle," replied Falco, before glancing at the time on his phone. "We might be too late, though..."

"Zelda, you won't believe this!" Iris called out to the princess as she showed up with Cilan. Cilan, still feeling some pain, massaged the back of his neck. "Some of the guests are..."

"Yes, I know - Falco told me just now," responded Zelda, saving Iris from a long-winded explanation. "He knows where they're being kept."

"I doubt we can reach them in time," said Falco, who was starting to lose all hope. But Iris thought otherwise, as she took out two Poke Balls. "You're gonna make me look like an idiot, are you Iris?"


It was now a full house in the temple, as all the guests were in attendance. Everyone was waiting patiently for the wedding ceremony to begin.

"I think Zelda ran away because she knew deep down she wouldn't be a good wife," insinuated Wendy Koopa, wearing her fake hair extensions, as she was speaking with Samus. Samus, who knew Zelda much better than Bayonetta did, shook her head in disagreement.

"What are you doing?" Spyro asked Hunter, who was bouncing up and down while standing up in the middle of the aisle. Brought a lot of second-hand embarrassment to the purple dragon.

"I'm trying to decide if I have time to pee," replied Hunter, as Spyro looked around hoping that the temple had at least one working bathroom.

"How long do you take to pee?" Spyro was grateful that he was sitting in the back for the wedding, for obvious reasons.

"The peeing is fast, Spyro. It's getting my tie back on." That tie was the only thing Hunter wore to the wedding, mind you.

"Do you think they canceled the wedding?" Kairi asked Sora and Riku, as the former Keyblade wielder shrugged his shoulders. Imagine the disappointment on everyone's faces if such news broke out.

Until Link and Zelda showed up, Impa stood at the front of the temple to keep the peace. Steve snuck up on the Sheikah, who sensed the craftsman's presence as she rolled her eyes.

"Leave me alone, Steve, I'm not in the mood," Impa commanded the craftsman, resisting the urge to backhand him into next week. Steve positioned himself next to Impa, much to her chagrin.

"My weekend was bad so far," Steve told his sob story to Impa, as he expected the Sheikah to care. "I came here hoping to meet somebody. You know, as you do at weddings. End up going to sleep by the ice machine. It was loud, and also cold."

"Oh, that sounds awful." You could literally cut the sarcasm in Impa's tone with a knife.

"And...and the love of my life is dating somebody else. A cheetah. It is a terrible year for love."

"For the last time, Hunter and I were never an item. I was just cheering him up."

"I'm thinking about having my sperm frozen." Perplexed by Steve's decision, Impa took a few steps away from the craftsman, which was highly uncalled for. Someone as classy as Steve might have plenty of sperm to offer.


The ice cream gang, Turks, and everyone else arrived at the castle, the one where Zant was allegedly at. As they traversed through the castle, Aku illuminated through the darkness with a light shining from his face.

"You'd make for an excellent nightlight, buddy," Gex said to Aku, who led the gang up to the very top of the castle. Aku really came through in the clutch.

"Thanks, I don't get that quite often," responded Aku, appreciating Gex's compliment, as he heard some commotion from up ahead. "I hear noises!"

"That must mean we're pretty close," inferred Ganondorf, and he was right on the money as he saw a door up ahead. The Turks stayed behind. "Are you three coming or what?"

"Go ahead, we'll come in later," Reno told Ganondorf, who did as he was told. Ganondorf led everyone through the door...

...and arrived at a large, spacious room. To their surprise, they saw a bunch of Hylians - Skyward Link, Skyward Zelda, Toon Link, Young Link, Champion Link, and Commander Zelda - all tied up, hanging by a rope from the ceiling. There was someone holding onto the rope...and it was Pac-Man.

"Uh, hi guys!" Pac-man awkwardly waved to everyone, with a nervous smile. "There's a good explanation for this..."

"Would you look at that...someone came to save the Hylians," snarled Astor as he appeared out from the shadows, with his darb orb in his possession.

"Was expecting Link or Zelda, but they'll do for now," stated Zant as he floated down from up above to see who was present. "Well if it isn't Dr. Eggman...and Ganondorf, too."

"Let them go, Zant!" commanded Ganondorf, who could not believe that he was sticking up for a bunch of Link and Zeldas. Crazy times.

"You heard him, release them at once!" Eggman shouted at Zant, who floated down so he could get a closer look at the mad scientist.

"Give me one good reason why I should," demanded Zant, and Eggman honestly couldn't think of a good enough reason. "...I am merely helping Pac-Man realize his dream, you see."

"Pac-Man's dream is to kill a bunch of Hylians?" questioned Sonic, as Zant groaned. "I didn't know you were a mass murderer, Pac-Man!"

"No...his dream is to one day officiate a wedding. And I promised to let him realize that dream...if he brought the Hylians you see before you to me. If he did, then I would eliminate whatever officiant was in place, and happily grant his wish.

"You got what you wanted - what else are you waiting for?" the male Inkling asked Zant, only to look over and see Astor's orb glowing with dark malice.

"Bringing the Links and Zeldas to us was only part one," stated Astor, as the malice inside his orb was growing steadily. "Part two is even...bigger."

"You don't mean Calamity Ganon...do you?" Commander Zelda warily asked Astor, and the evil smirk on Astor's face told her all she needed to know.

"It's not exactly Calamity Ganon, but it's something close to it. What do you prefer, Windblight Ganon? Or does Thunderblight Ganon tickle your fancy more?"

"Pac-Man stop standing around, do something!" Dante shouted at the eater of ghosts, who was too petrified to make a move. Dante took out his gun, only for Zant to take it away with his telekinetic powers.

"We cannot afford any distractions," stated Zant, as he tossed Dante's gun out of a castle window. "Now that we have an audience, it is time for you to see..."

There was one distraction that Zant did not see coming, as a Hydreigon and Archeops came flying into the castle. The two Pokemon crashed through the castle walls, as they flew around in the air.

"What the..." frowned Astor, as he looked up and saw the two Pokemon. Cilan and Iris rode on the Hydreigon; Link and Zelda rode on the Archeops. Falco and Cloud were holding unto the Hydreigon and Acheops' legs, respectively.

Cloud: First time traveling on a Pokemon by holding onto their legs. *shakes his head* Never again...

"Astor, stop them!" Zant commanded Astor, who was too busy charging up malice to take action. With Zant momentarily distracted, Sonic did a spin dash on the king of twilight, sending him into the rope.

"Ack!" panicked Pac-Man as the rope fell out of his hands, with the Links and Zeldas descended down to the floor. The eater of ghosts grabbed the rope in the nick of time, as the Hylians were inches away from falling.

"Hold it, Pac-Man!" Cloud called out to the eater of ghosts, before leaping down from the Hydreigon. The swordsman untied the rope, freeing the Hylians. "Are you guys okay?"

"We're fine, thank you," Skyward Link thanked Cloud, grateful to be back on his feet again. Having collided against the wall, Zant slowly picked himself up.

"Oh no, you don't!" Link shouted at Zant, as he flew the Archeops towards the king of twilight. Archeops knocked Zant back into the wall with brute force, as Link snatched up Pac-Man.

"Link, I cannot tell you how glad I am that you came," Pac-Man said to the Hylian, who smiled in return. Even with Zant down, Astor was still charging up malice - and Iris couldn't let him get away with it.

"Hydreigon, use Flamethrower on that hooded guy!" commanded Iris, as Hydreigon blew a fiery breath at Astor. Astor dodged the flames but dropped his orb in the process.

"No!" panicked Astor, as the orb rolled over to Popo's feet. Popo picked up the orb full of malice, before looking up at Astor.

"You want this?" Popo asked Astor; him breaking the orb would be a worst-case scenario for Astor. "Come and get it!" The Ice Climber tossed the orb at Astor, nailing him in the head and sending him down to the floor.

"Heh, nice one," Kazooie complimented Popo, who looked at the redbird all shocked. About time Kazooie said something nice about Popo.

"Great job, everyone!" exclaimed Cilan, as Hydreigon and Archeops both landed. Falco hopped off before Hydreigon made her landing. "I think our baddies have learned a valuable lesson..."

"Look, he's trying to get away!" shouted Banjo as he pointed at Zant, who was writhing in pain and also trying to summon a Twilight portal. Falco ran over to the defeated Zant and picked him up.

"Not today, mister..." Falco said to Zant as he carried him away, as the Twilight portal slowly closed. "...somebody grab the other dude!" Ganondorf picked up Astor and carried him over to where Falco was standing.

"I got the rope," Cloud offered the rope to Falco and Ganondorf, who used it to tie up Zant and Astor. The bad guys from Hyrule were now taken care of.

"Don't think we can't get out so easily..." said Zant as he tried to break free...but to no avail. No wiggling around could get the job done. "...hm, this rope is sturdier than I thought."

"Thank you all for saving us," Skyward Link thanked everyone who was involved in the rescue mission. "Thought that we were all going to die!"

"Obviously, we can't leave a great lineage behind," smiled Zelda, happy to see that everyone was okay. Soon Midna flew inside the castle.

"Drat, I missed out on all the fun!" the imp lamented before she saw Zant and Astor both tied up. Midna was more focused on the former, meeting him face-to-face. "Zant..."

"Midna...want to come back to the realm of Twilight?" Zant offered to the imp, who passed up on the arm as she turned her hair into an arm and used it to grab Zant and Astor. Midna flung the two out of the castle, which bought her much delight.

"Meh, I didn't feel like speaking to him anyway. Would've been a waste of my time."

"Guys...I'm sorry for this mess I created," apologized Pac-Man, hoping that Skyward Link and everyone else he brought to Zant had no hard feelings whatsoever. "I wanted to do everything to be the wedding officiant..."

"Nah, it wasn't your fault - this was on me," Falco said to Pac-Man, as he still had a lot of apologizing left in him. "I was the one who dragged you into this hoopla in the first place."

"Why don't we save the apologies for later?" asked Zelda as she stepped in between Falco and Pac-Man. "We do have a wedding, you know."

"You're right...I'll get everything off my chest in the wedding reception or something."

"So...who's gonna officiate the wedding?" asked Eggman, addressing the elephant in the room as he wished for Link and Zelda to say his name. Ganondorf wasn't interested, and Falco and Pac-Man kinda ruined their chances...so who would it be?"

"The two of us had a mutual choice in mind..." smiled Zelda as she and Link exchanged knowing looks, with Eggman crossing his fingers. Gex exited the room and saw the Turks still waiting outside.

"The Zant-Man has been...flung away!" Gex informed the Turks, using some pizzazz with his intel. The Turks sadly did not appreciate it. "Shall we get going?"


"Wait a minute," said Bayonetta, as she was gathered with Roy, B.D. Joe, and Corrin near the front of the temple where the wedding gits were. "What is the etiquette on taking the gifts? Can you only take your own back or is it a 'whatever you can carry' type of thing?"

"Anyone have anything they want to trade for a toaster?" B.D. Joe asked the others as he looked around with a giant grin on his face. The taxi driver would take anything as long as it was nifty.

"Does it have slots for hot dogs?" Corrin asked B.D. Joe, who looked at the prince as if he was out of his mind. "If it doesn't, then who would want it?"

"Guys, maybe we should wait a little more time before we start grabbing boxes," suggested Roy as Hammer Bro walked over to Master Hand, who was anxiously waiting for Link and Zelda to show up.

"Master Hand, can lodge a formal complaint against Link for making us wait for over an hour?" Hammer Bro asked the giant hand, who sighed depressingly as he tried to think of happy thoughts. "This is a waste of our..."

"Go away..." commanded Master Hand, as Hammer Bro suddenly panicked when he looked over and saw a hole in his present. A turtle was on the ground, and Hammer Bro went to go rescue it.

"Come here you!" Hammer Bro picked up the turtle in the nick of time, kissing its shell repeatedly as he brought it back to the box.

Master Hand: Well, I guess this wedding's not going to happen. Stupid Zant. I wonder if this is it for them... *Link, Zelda, Cloud, and many others all walk inside the temple* ...why do I feel happiness?

As Link and the others walked inside the temple, they were soon approached by Master Hand. Master Hand's depression, however long it lasted, was no more.

"What happened? Where were you guys? Do you know how long I've been waiting here?" Master Hand pestered everyone with his barrage of questions, happy to see them alive and well.

"Well we are here now, so let's just..." started Cloud, only for Mario to jump for joy when he saw Link and Zelda in his presence. The plumber walked up to Link and Zelda, his heart jumping for joy.

"Yes! Yes! I have so much-a joy...in my heart...right now," said an almost out-of-breath Mario, feeling like a dad who was about to see his own kids marry each other. "How-a do I look?"

"You look great," Link and Zelda both said to Mario in perfect unison, before looking at one another and smiling.

"Is Ganondorf still-a the officiant? Or is it Dr. Eggman?" Mario saw that Link and Zelda were looking at him, and yet he didn't get the clue.

"Well...we were thinking that maybe YOU should officiate our wedding. Ganondorf, Eggman, Falco, and even Pac-Man...they all weren't qualified enough."

"I get to be the officiant? Mama mia..." Mario fainted onto the floor, as Link and Zelda both giggled. Eggman, who stood behind Link and Zelda with his arms folded, wasn't giggling in the slightest.

"Wrong choice..." the mad scientist muttered, making sure to send Link and Zelda a very hate-filled letter sometime after their wedding.

Mewtwo: *looks at Link's cut tie* Wear a tie much?


Somewhere in Hyrule, Zant and Astor were still tied up, bound together by rope. Neither man had a soft landing, but that was to be expected when Midna flung you away.

"Any bright ideas to get out of this one?" Astor asked Zant, who was struggling to gain control of his hand.

"Not at the moment," replied Zant, who needed his hand to summon twilight portals at free will. "We have to hope that someone will untie us."

"You called?" someone asked, as Zant and Astor saw the Turks and Gex approach them. Reno was leading the way.

"Hello, Zant...we've been meaning to speak with you for some time," Elena greeted the king of twilight, as Rude had his phone out. "Pleased to make your acquaintance..."

"We finally got him, boss..." Rude spoke into the phone, as he kept a close eye on Zant. Astor was apparently none of the Turks' concern. "...anything you want to say to him?"


With Zant and Astor no longer around, the wedding went on as planned. Skyward Link walked down the aisle with Link, and Skyward Zelda walked down the aisle with Zelda. Although Pac-Man did not officiate the wedding, he still got to perform with Iori and the wedding band. And then came the big moment...the moment everyone and their mom were waiting for.

"Link, Zelda...I now pronounce-a you man and wife," announced Mario, and Link and Zelda kissed to usher in their marriage. Everyone in the temple was cheering and applauding, as Link and Zelda were now husband and wife.

"Mario was right - it really is like seeing your kids grow up and then marry each other," remarked Pit, sitting at the front row; Impa, who was nearby, looked inquisitively at the angel.

"I agree," Master Hand sided with Pit, as he felt like a proud papa seeing Link and Zelda get married. What he once considered an impossibility for the longest time now became true.

"Please keep that to yourself..." Impa advised Master Hand and Pit, with the former wishing that he had eyes so he could cry them out.

Eggman: Still think that I should've been the officiant, but it is what it is. At least Zant got put in his place. Let it be known that I am the only villain to have successfully ruin someone's wedding day!

Mario: Never in my life-a did I imagine that I would officiate TWO weddings. How nice-a of Link and Zelda to know how much their moment meant-a to be, as much as it meant-a to them. *starts tearing up* Are there onions nearby?

Link: Everyone wanted a dance down the aisle so bad...Zelda was in no rush to nix those plans. Truth be told, the dance down the aisle thing was plan C. The Temple of Hylia was Plan B. Plan A was marrying her a long, long time ago. *smiles* Pretty much the day I met her.