Author's Note:

WOOOO! Going to my first first-ever Monday Night RAW event, in Columbia, South Carolina! Should be loads of fun, really looking forward to it. Um...yeah, so this chapter has much to do with Assassin's Creed, a series that has arrived unto the Switch. Meaning that a famous assassin you might know will be featured quite a bit. With the 2022 Winter Olympics still taking place, I threw in a little stuff about that in this chapter. Assassin's Creed prevented me from doing a full-fledged chapter on the Olympics, but I'm not complaining. First review, from David:

"Pit and Ryuji are not gonna end up having a Hell in a Cell match like the one between Undertaker and Mankind? Is Hisuian Zoroark gonna cause more problems for the residents? A Ruthless Aggression Era 20th anniversary chapter? A scene of Corrin playing or reacting to Star Wars: The Force Unleashed? And finally, since Portal is getting a Switch port do you hope that the Half Life games and Team Fortress 2 get Switch ports?"

Eh, probably not. Hisuian Zoroark will cause more mischief in future chapters. No 20th-anniversary chapter. I'll to that scene when Star Wars: The Force Unleashed (love that game) is released. And yes, I do hope that both of those games get Switch ports. Half-Life on the Switch would be HUGE. Other review coming from BowserFan327:

"The final chapter in the Jurassic franchise (as they make it seem), Jurassic World: Dominion will be coming out the same day as the Mario Strikers Battle League release date of June 10th! Will we see a return to the Mini-Mementos theater during that chapter?"

Ooh! That would be a spectacular time to feature the Mini-Mementos theater. Nothing better than to spend your Friday watching a Jurassic Park film starring Chris Prat (he's so cool!).


Episode 322: Assassin

It was no secret that Dr. Wily hated time travel. He hated it with a passion. He hated it when Cloud used it to retrieve DNA from a past Aerith, and he hated it when a few Pokemon professors sent the Mario Bros back in time to Hisui.

There have been two instances in total where a time machine was built in the mansion's basement. The first one was built by Dr. N Tropy during the Aerith Revival Project, and it was later dismantled after Cloud started going haywire. The second was built by Professor Burnet a few weeks ago when the Pokemon professors sent the Mario Bros (and Dawn and Barry) to retrieve some Hisuian Pokemon. Of course, there was that instance of alpha Pokemon finding their way to present times, but that was shortly taken care of.

Burnet's time machine remained in the basement, and neither one of Master Hand, Link, or Zelda sent out any decree to have it taken apart. But if there was one person that would dismantle the machine itself...it was Wily. And he was determined to get the job done, full of confidence that no one or nothing would stand in his way.

"Sledgehammer? Check! Wrench? Check!" said Wily, who was in his room as he was going through his inventory of time machine-dismantling tools, placing them in a duffel bag. "Grilled cheese sandwich? Aha! At last, I've finally found you!"

"What are you up to, Dr. Wily?" asked Serena, Crazy Hand's right-hand gal, as the Keeper stepped inside Wily's room. She saw Wily happily taking a bite out of his grilled cheese sandwich, smiling with delight.

"You might be six weeks stale, but you're three weeks fresh to me..." Wily finished off the rest of his sandwich, licking his fingers as he dusted off the bread crumbs from his mouth. "...good thing cheese lasts beyond its expiration date."

Wily: The time machine in the mansion? It has to be dismantled. It's an absolute must. If used in the wrong hands, it can lead to some very disastrous results! It could even change the course of history for the worse - just imagine if someone went back in time and prevent John F. Kennedy's assassination. You could say that it would be a good thing, but then there will be no valuable history lesson for little schoolkids to learn from. That history lesson? Um...never shoot a president from the grassy knoll? Let me get back to you on that one.

"Dr. Wily, you left this in the dining room," Hammer Bro said to the robot inventor, as he stopped by his room holding a baseball bat. Wily gleamed when he saw the bat in Hammer Bro's hands.

"There's my baseball bat!" exclaimed Wily as he took the bat away from Hammer Bro. The robot inventor placed the baseball bat in his duffel bag, before zipping the bag up.

"Why do you need a baseball bat?" Serena asked Wily, who grabbed his duffel bag and hoisted it over his shoulders. "Where are you even going?"

"Where I'm going, Selena, is none of your concern," replied Wily, as Selena stood around looking at Wily as if she was quietly demanding an answer. Wily sighed, as he was forced to come clean. "I'm going to the mansion to handle some business."

"Dr. Wily, I secured some bomb arrows from the Yiga Clan," Shadow informed the robot inventor, showing up at the room with a few bomb arrows. "Operation Destroy Time Machine is now a go."

"'Operation Destroy Time Machine'?" Selena crinkled her nose, watching as Wily exited the room with his duffel bag. Whatever Wily had up his sleeve, it obviously wasn't good. "Dr. Wily, what is the meaning of..."

"At ease, Selena, at ease - you will all thank me later," Wily said to the keeper, as he followed Shadow and Hammer Bro down the hallway. Wily and Shadow working together could lead to some very explosive results...Hammer Bro? Eh.

"Master Hand will rue the day that he let another time machine be built in his basement," Wily vowed to Shadow and Hammer Bro, as Selena watched the three denizens walk away. "That time machine will be history..."

"That Dr. Wily sure picks the strangest hills to die on," remarked Selena, shaking her head as she walked away...only to run into Gray Fox, who revealed himself via camouflage. "Oh! Hello, Gray Fox. How are you?"

"Save the foolish questions for later," responded Gray Fox, looking past Selena as he saw Wily and his boys heading down the hallway. "Did I hear Wily mention something about a time machine?"


Wily and his accomplices went to the mansion, and whoever let them inside didn't bother to inquire about the tools they had. The trio went to the basement, which first had to be unlocked by either one of Link or Zelda.

"I'm bringing an old friend of mine from the past," Wily explained to Link, who was standing at the basement door fumbling around in his pocket for his keys. "Should be quite the reunion."

"Why are Shadow and Hammer Bro with you?" Link asked Wily, who didn't have a readily available answer for that one. "And also, what's with the duffel bag?"

"I'll do you one better...why are you asking so many questions?" Shadow questioned Link as he took his gun out, pointing it at the Hylian. Link saw the gun in Shadow's face, with a drop of sweat running down his face.

"Uh, sorry, got a little carried away there!" The fear that Link had motivated him to find the keys quicker, as he hurriedly took them out and unlocked the basement door. "There you go!"

Much thanks, Link," Wily thanked the Hylian, who hightailed away from the robot inventor - or more specifically, Shadow. Speaking of Shadow, he still had his gun out. "You can put your gun away now, Shadow."

"Your loss," Shadow said to Wily as he put his gun away, seeing that the basement door was now open. Operation Destroy Time Machine was now a go.

"Remember, boys, slow and steady steps," Wily said to Shadow and Hammer Bro, as he slowly walked down the basement stairs. "We don't want to..." Eventually, Hammer Bro tripped and fell down the stairs, making loud noises along the way. "...bring any attention to ourselves."

"Sorry, I slipped on a banana peel," Hammer Bro apologized to Wily and Shadow, who looked down at the stairs and saw no banana peel in their sight. "An imaginary banana peel."

"Look...the basement door on the other side is cracked open," Shadow informed Wily as he pointed at the basement door that led from inside, which had some light coming through. "We might have some company..."

"So you say that you didn't want to bring any attention yourselves..." a voice called out to Wily and company, who were all looking around to see where this mysterious voice came from. "...but you have certainly caught my attention."

"W-Who goes there?!" shouted Wily, only for Gray Fox to reveal himself after deactivating his stealth camouflage. He was right in front of Hammer Bro, who shrieked out of fright. "Gray Fox! I should've known."

"How did you get inside?" Hammer Bro asked Gray Fox, as he carefully backed a few feet away from the cyborg ninja. Gray Fox had his ninja sword out, before putting it away.

"What do you think, I used my sword to cut my way inside," replied Gray Fox, looking around for a light switch before finding it and turning it on. "Asking nicely to be let in simply wasn't my style."

Mr. Game and Watch: What do you mean I have to repair the outside basement door? I just had it fixed a few weeks ago! *groans* Why is mansion property always being damaged? Must be that time of the year again.

"I heard that you boys are taking apart this time machine," Gray Fox said to Wily and company, as he saw the time machine in question. The Rabbids were all over the machine - licking it, rubbing it, humping it, etc.

"Not just taking apart the time machine...we're destroying it!" clarified Wily, who wanted nothing more than for the time machine to be reduced to ashes and rubble. That was why he brought Shadow onboard. "It'll be toast once we're through."

"Like French toast, or what?" asked Hammer Bro, comically missing the point as Shadow smacked his forehead and shook his head. "What kind of toast are we talking about here?"

"Before you destroy this time machine...mind if I take a gander at it first?" Gray Fox asked Wily as he looked at the time machine; he was touching it and everything, seeing it for the first time.

"Uh, go ahead, take your time," replied Wily, letting Gray Fox inspect the time machine; in a way, Gray Fox was deeply interested in the device. "Why do you care so much about it?"

"I've done some stealth in my spare time...I've been keeping tabs on Snake and Hal." Just what Snake and Hal wanted - another person sticking their nose in their business. And this one being a guy that they knew too well.

"...so what do Snake and Hal have to do with the time machine?" Shadow asked Gray Fox, who was checking out the hardware that was connected to the time machine. The same hardware that Hal used back in episode 319.

"It was brought to my attention that Hal used this machine once." Gray Fox was messing around on the hardware, as he was running his fingers on the keyboard below the screen. "Who knows if they'll use this later for..."

As he messed around on the keyboard, Gray Fox accidentally pressed a key that caused the time machine to activate. The Rabbids that were all up on the time machine jumped away, marveling at the time machine did its thing.

"Dang it, Gray Fox, now you've done it!" Wily scolded the cyborg ninja, who didn't have it in him to hold himself accountable for his actions. "This is the exact opposite of what we wanted to do."

"I'm dead serious, Zelda, he literally had the gun in my face," Link said to Zelda, as he led his wife inside the basement. He was holding her by the hand as he led her down the stairs. "You should put him in his place."

"Can't you just do it yourself?" Zelda asked with a crown, only for her and Link to stop when they saw the time machine doing its thing. "Uh oh..."

"It's okay - Wily's just using the time machine to retrieve an old friend of his," Link informed Zelda, who furrowed her brow and looked at her husband like he was crazy. "Hey, that's what he told me!"

Once the time machine was done, a great flash occurred in the basement, nearly blinding everyone. (Except for the Rabbids, who didn't shield their eyes and happily let the bright light blind them.) After the light went away, standing in the basement was a man who looked an awful lot like Altaïr.

"No way...it's Altaïr's long-lost brother!" exclaimed Hammer Bro, getting all hyped up for no reason as he hopped on his feet. "Or maybe he's an ancestor. Or descendant. Or even his cousin! Or..."

"Enough," Gray Fox commanded Hammer Bro, intimidating the Koopa as he hand his hand on his sword. Hammer Bro kept his mouth shut, as Gray Fox approached the assassin fellow.

"Stand back, Gray Fox...let us handle this," Link called out to Gray Fox, who saw Link and Zelda in his midst and stepped out of the way. Wily and Shadow moved out of the way as well, opening up a clear path for Link and Zelda.

"Where...am I?" the assassin wondered as he got used to his new surroundings before he saw Link and Zelda approach. "Who on earth are you people?"

"Welcome to the Smash Mansion," Link greeted the assassin as he held out his hand for a handshake. Probably not the wisest move to make. "You can call me Link - what's your name?"

"I am Ezio Auditore da Firenze - a member of the Assassin Brotherhood," the assassin replied as he shook Link's hand...and once he earned Link's trust, the assassin kneed Link in the gut. Zelda gasped, and Link yelped in pain as he collapsed to the floor.

"Yup...definitely should've seen that one coming," wheezed Link, clutching his stomach as Ezio pickpocketed the Hylian. Stole a few rupees out of his wallet.

Link: Rule number one? Never trust an assassin. Rule number two? Always make sure you have enough money in your wallet, so that whoever robs you won't judge you too much. Now when is Wolf going to pay me back? Getting tired of waiting...

"Any chance that you know Altaïr, Mr. Auditore?" Zelda asked Ezio, as Link continued to wheeze in pain. Zelda seemed hardly interested in helping her man back up to his feet.

"Heard the name many times before, but no, I have never met him," answered Ezio, who was led to wonder how Zelda knew about the legend of Altaïr. "He is a man far ahead of my time."

"Cool, because he happens to live at this..." Hammer Bro was about to tell Ezio, only for Zelda to run up behind the Koopa and cover his mouth. Hammer Bro's voice was muffled, as Ezio appeared confused.

"Can you give us a minute?" Zelda asked Ezio, before dragging Hammer Bro towards Wily and Shadow. Seemed like the princess wanted to speak with the three denizens in private.

"What was that all about?" Hammer Bro angrily whispered to Zelda, after the princess took her hands away from his mouth. "I was just about to blow his mind, and you ruined it!"

"We can't let him know that Altaïr lives here." Zelda looked back at Ezio, seeing that the assassin was looking at her, before turning back around. "It would perhaps be for the best if he found out for himself."

"And? Not like it would be the end of the world," said Shadow as he folded his arms; he wouldn't mind Altaïr and Ezio pairing up, especially if it meant assassinating the folks he didn't like. "And you're telling us this because...?"

"I just want you to keep a close eye on him, for the time being. Link and I already have enough on our hands today, so I would appreciate..."

"NO!" Wily shouted at the top of his lungs, causing Zelda to retract her head in shock. Realizing that he was a little too loud, Wily lowered his voice. "Why do we have to babysit the assassin guy?"

"I didn't say you had to babysit him. Just make sure he doesn't get in trouble. Altaïr might get the wrong idea if he sees him."

"That's good and all, but what about the time machine?" Wily refused to do any assassin-watching as long as the time machine remained intact. "Who will be there to destroy it?"

"Whoever said that it was going to be destroyed?" Soon Zelda heard Ezio quietly speaking with someone, as the princess turned around and saw the assassin chatting it up with Gray Fox.

"He shares a room with a talking cup, I kid you not," Gray Fox said to Ezio, as he was giving away all the juicy (and not so juicy) details about Altaïr. Zelda sighed as she pinched the crown of her nose.

"Why do I feel like you're lying?" Ezio asked Gray Fox, hoping that he wasn't hallucinating or having some kind of weird dream. "Can you please explain to me my current situation?"

"Thanks to my own curiosity, I accidentally transported you to his mansion with this time machine." Fearing that he might've said too much, Gray Fox looked towards Zelda who was still pinching her nose. "Did I say too much, princess?"

"You've said quite enough, Gray Fox..." replied Zelda, as Link crawled his way over to the princess's feet. The pain was subsiding for Link, but the Hylian had yet to find the strength to get back on his own feet. And Zelda still didn't care.

"You're a princess? Should've known," Ezio said to Zelda, feeling deeply honored to be meeting royalty many hundred years into the future. "If you ask me, I love a princess who's a damsel in distress."

"Hey man, back off...she's mine," Link shouted at Ezio, shutting the assassin down as he magically found the strength to stand back up. The power of love works in mysterious ways.

"Based on your attire alone, I can say that she should've done better." Ezio's comment had Link looking down at his threads, as Wily and the others laughed. Zelda even had an amused smile on her face.

"Yeah, I make questionable fashion choices...but at least I don't wear dirty overalls like how Mario does." The very mention of Mario awoke something in Ezio, like a happy memory of some kind.

"Mario? As in, Uncle Mario?" Apparently convinced that a relative of his was somehow living in Seattle, Ezio walked up to Link and grabbed his shoulders. "Show me where he is!"

"I can't really do that because..." Link saw the determined look in Ezio's eyes and feared getting kneed again if he didn't heed Ezio's request. "...we can go see if he's home."

"Then what are we waiting for? Let's go!" So Ezio grabbed Link's hand and ran to the door that led to the outside - only to see that something was amiss. "Shouldn't this door have a doorknob?"

"...perhaps," replied Gray Fox, only keeping himself silent to avoid any suspicion. Ezio went through the door anyway, opening it and heading outside.

"Well, you gentlemen are off the hook...for now, at least," Zelda said to Wily and company, giving them free rein to destroy the time machine as they pleased. But before the princess could depart. "Let me first speak with Master Hand about destroying the..."

"You don't have to tell him a thing," Wily said to Zelda as he prevent the princess from leaving; he put his hand on her to stop her in place. "Why can't we just, I don't know, surprise him?"

"A destroyed time machine isn't a surprise-worthy event. Also, he deserves to be in the know." Zelda took Wily's hand away, as she went up the stairs and left the basement. Wily sighed with many worries.

Shadow: Didn't take that long for Wily's plan to be in potential jeopardy. Can't say that I'm surprised.


The idol singers' contracts with Star Records were set to expire next month, and Fox and Falco hoped to renew the contracts soon with some financial assistance from Master Hand. Given how much of an asset the idol singers were, the pilots couldn't afford to lose their talent.

"If these numbers are correct, we're only one-fourth away from reaching our goal," Fox discussed with Falco, glancing at a document in his hands as he and Falco were walking through a park. Falco soon came to a stop when he saw something that caught his attention.

"Bruh, check that out..." the avian pilot said to Fox, grabbing his friend as he pointed at Crash and Aku...who were with Cortex. It looked as if Cortex was hashing it out with Crash like he had a change of heart.

"Why does Cortex look sad?" Fox was left in wonder, as Crash held his arms out for a hug - and Cortex hugged him in response. "And why are they hugging?"

"Beats me, but this makes for some sweet meme material..." Falco took out his phone and snapped a pic of Crash and Cortex, taking advantage of the opportune moment. "...maybe Tiki disowned Cortex after that party or something."

"Would be the greatest life decision she ever made." As Crash and Cortex continued to hug, Fox and Falco kept on walking. "How about a fun run to raise some money?"


Ryuji did it...he fought Pit on Super Bowl Sunday and came out of the fight victorious. His long-standing beef with the angel finally came to an end, as he was the one who came out on top. The documentary crew (and to a lesser extent, Master Hand) was salty that the fight couldn't be documented on camera, but either way, Ryuji had the feud won.

To celebrate, the delinquent spent most of the week bragging about his win over Pit to the other residents, much to their chagrin. Most of his bragging was done at Cafe Leblanc.

"You should've been there, Joker!" Ryuji said to his friend, who was working behind the counter with the other baristas. Pit was noticeably absent - probably too ashamed to show his face around anymore. "Had Pit on the ropes the whole time."

"I've heard about your fight enough times already," Joker said to Ryuji, as he and his fellow Phantom Thieves had to hear about the fight the most out of everyone else. "I'm honestly quite tired of it."

"And so are we," said Lucario, who was seated at the counter speaking on behalf of dang near everyone in the mansion. "I mean honestly, what is that to brag about, Ryuji?"

"Bragging about beating Pit in anything is like bragging about putting bread in a toaster," said Meta Knight, as Viridi did not appreciate the Pit slander from the star warrior. "Anyone could do it with very little effort."

"Yeah, well...I had Pit crying uncle the whole time!" said Ryuji, trying his hardest to hype up his victory over Pit. "He was all like, 'you're right, Ryuji, AEW is better than WWE'!"

"Now you're just making up stuff," remarked Joker, wondering how long Ryuji would keep up with his constant posturing. The young man was already losing brain cells by the minute.

Ryuji: Pit and I never had our fight. Pit could barely even throw a simple punch! There would've been no satisfaction in me winning if the fight was gonna be that extremely one-sided, so we agreed to call off our fight and call it a night. But in the end, I managed to sucker Pit into letting me have the victory, so...who's the loser now?

"I reckon you dominated Pit so much, you made him run away from the mansion," Tom Nook said to Ryuji before he took a sip from his coffee; did Ryuji also sucker Pit into leaving the mansion?

"That's right! Pit left the mansion out of shame, all because of me," gleamed Ryuji, who hadn't seen Pit ever since the Super Bowl - and the same went for everyone else. Little did Ryuji know that the "fight" had little to do with Pit's absence...


In his phone call with Mei Ling last week, Hal promised the data analyst that he would see her in China soon. Hal was in China right now, as he and Snake planned on speaking with Mei. The two friends have been in China since Monday; they sneaked away to the country when everyone least expected it.

As secretive as Snake and Hal were, Master Hand sensed that the duo was in China doing who-knows-what. So he sent three individuals who were on to Snake the most - Villager, Bayonetta, and the Luminary - to do a little spying in China. Oh, and there was also a fourth person involved.

"After we're done, can we check out the snowboarding events?" Pit asked Bayonetta and company, as they were traversing through Beijing - the city where Snake and Hal were believed to be located. "Pretty please?"

"The snowboarding events are over with," the leader of the mission, Bayonetta, informed Pit as she brought much disappointment to the angel. "Also, we're not here for the Winter Olympics."

"So why are we in China again? The Winter Paralympics?" Pit was a huge bother for Bayonetta and company - has been that way ever since he stepped foot in Beijing. The Luminary smacked his forehead in response to Pit's question.

Tom Nook: Master Hand is still very suspicious about Snake, so he sent three individuals to China just to spy on him. I was the one who brought the group to China with the Nook Airline Services. All of us could've been in China for the Olympics, but Master Hand secretly fears the China government...good to know that there's at least one man-made institution that he's afraid of.

Master Hand: Pit has no skin in the game, in regards to Snake and Hal - I only sent him to China so he could do some aerial reconnaissance. Should he spend most of his time on foot, it'll be a waste.

"Funnily enough, I haven't been in the air at all since we arrived," Pit confessed to the others, who were doing some snooping around a food market. "Is that a good thing or a bad thing?"

"It's a bad thing for our sanity," replied the Luminary, as he kept his eyes peeled for either one of Snake or Hal. "How about you make yourself useful and..."

"Aw, who's a good boy?" Pit found himself distracted, as he saw a dog in a dog cage with several other canine companions. The angel foolishly unlocked the cage, releasing the dogs and sending them into the market.

"How much longer until Pit gets us all in trouble?" Villager asked Bayonetta and the Luminary, as the dogs ran amok throughout the market. Bayonetta groaned, fearing that a ban from entering China was on the horizon.


Amy wasn't a happy camper, for she was unable to display her romantic video of her and Sonic at either one of the mansion's Valentine's Day parties. The pink hedgehog sent the video to Sonic, and Sonic was playing the video to Mario right now at the plumber's home.

"I personally see nothing wrong-a with this," Mario offered his two cents to Sonic about the video, which was played on his computer. Pictures of Sonic and Amy flashed on the screen in slideshow format.

"So having 'Lovefool' as background music isn't a problem?" questioned Sonic, as The Cardigans' hit single played from the speakers. "The song choice makes Amy look super clingy." The only other sound heard was some knocking on the front door, which Mario and Sonic were oblivious to.

"Guess-a you don't know your girlfriend that well." As Sonic glared at Mario, the knocking on the front door grew louder. It was enough to make Spyro come out of his room, as he had heard it far too long.

"Not sure if you're aware, but there's someone at the door," Spyro said to Mario and Sonic, who both came to their senses as they heard the knocking. Pausing the video, Mario hopped out of his chair as he answered the door.

"It's about time you answered..." grumbled the man standing on the doorstep, Link, who was accompanied by Ezio. Before the Hylian could even introduce Ezio, Ezio stepped inside the house, marveling at Mario.

"Uncle Mario, you're alive...and you've shrunk!" the assassin said to Mario, who was understandably confused as he scratched his head. "And your clothing is far different from before."

"Mario, is that one of Altaïr's relatives?" Spyro asked the plumber, who was being hugged by Ezio and lifted off of his feet. Ezio was closer to finding out the truth as he placed Mario back on the floor and got a second look at him.

"What a minute, you're not my Uncle Mario..." Ezio instantly recognized Mario, taking note of his iconic mustache and trademark hat. It was all coming back to the assassin. "...you're one of those folks that magically appeared in Spain."

"How nice-a of you to recognize me," Mario said to Ezio as he dusted himself off, feeling some very slight pain in his abdomen. "Also, you crushed-a my pancreas a little..."

"Yo, Ezio, what up!" Sonic greeted the assassin from where he was sitting, smiling and pointing his fingers at him. "Great to see you, man!"

"Ah, I see that the blue hedgehog is with you," Ezio said to Mario, as he was slowly getting acclimated to his new surroundings. Mario and Sonic made him realize something. "Come to think of it...did I travel forward through time?"

"Finally cracked the code..." Link said to Ezio, a bit salty that the assassin had to find out sooner. He would've loved to see Ezio refer to Mario as his uncle for an entire day.

Link: Dang it! I wanted Ezio to have a bigger reaction to finding out that he's in the future. Also wanted him to genuinely believe that Mario was his uncle. Am I selfish for that?

"Mario, I think we're all out of band-aids," Peach said to her husband as she entered the living room, seeing Mario standing with Ezio. She and Ezio instantly locked eyes. "Ooh! Is that another assassin? Altaïr's brother, I assume?"

"Is that your wife?" Ezio asked Mario, taking note of Peach's blue eyes and blonde hair - but most especially her blonde hair. "She looks too blonde to be a full-blooded Italian..."

"What are you trying to say?" Mario questioned Ezio, unsure of what the assassin was trying to insinuate. Switching gears, Ezio quickly changed the subject.

"Erm, nothing. Now tell me, Mario...do you know Altaïr personally?"

"Mario has known Altaïr personally for about two years now," Link informed Ezio, answering for Mario as Ezio was left in amazement. "Those two go back."

"In that case, I would like for you to introduce me to Altaïr, Mario." Ezio getting to meet the legendary Altaïr Ibn-La'Ahad would be a dream come true for him. "That is my one and only request."

"Do it, Mario - do it for your nephew!" Spyro called out to the plumber, as he was teasing the plumber. That remark earned the purple dragon a death glare from Mario.

"Let me go trim my mustache-a first..." the plumber said to Ezio as he went to his room. Sonic watched as Mario passed by, smirking to himself as he folded his arms.

"I gotta see this for myself," the hedgehog remarked quietly, interested in seeing how a meeting with Ezio and Altaïr would go down. Would be one for the record books - and the memories.


Cloud was outside with Barret, who was fixing the swordsman's motorcycle in the driveway. As Barret worked tirelessly on the motorcycle, a Boo floated his way down to where Cloud and Barret were.

"Pardon me, gentlemen," Boo said to Cloud and Barret as it garnered their attention. Wasn't often that a regular Boo showed up on the mansion premises. "But is this the Smash Mansion?"

"You came to the right place," answered Cloud, as Boo floated away - who knows what kind of business he had in Seattle. "Don't bother the ribs in the kitchen - that's our dinner."

"Man, that Boo sure looked suspicious..." Barret said to Cloud after Boo left, as he resumed tinkering with Cloud's motorcycle. "...his mouth was barely even movin'!"

"A Boo's mouth never moves when it speaks." Cloud made Barret feel like an idiot, as he had the terrorist look up at the sky in realization. "But I will admit though that a random Boo wanting to visit the mansion is kinda weird."


Fox and Falco were still at the park, and the pilots stopped their stroll to grab a bite. Fortunately for them, there was a hot dog truck nearby, offering hot dogs for five bucks each. Also offered chili dogs - Sonic would be a huge fan.

"Dolphins are by far the tastiest fish, hands down," commented Falco as he and Fox were eating their hot dogs; Fox gave the avian pilot an amused stare.

"Tastiest sea mammal, you mean," Fox corrected Falco, who stood by what he said as he devoured the rest of his hot dog - only to chock seconds later. Fox quickly applied the Heimlich maneuver to Falco.

"It's terrible...my own minions refuse to accept me!" Cortex was heard lamenting, as Fox looked over and saw the evil genius speaking with Crash and Aku. Cortex must be down bad.

"What? This I gotta hear." Completely forgetting about Falco, Fox dropped his friend to the ground and left him to choke as he went over to Crash and Cortex. Eventually, Falco spat out a piece of hot dog, finding relief afterward.

"Thanks for nothing, dude..." Falco seethed at Fox, whom he saw eavesdropping on Crash and Cortex. The avian pilot let his anger subside as he got up and ran over to Fox.

"It's bad enough that Uka possibly wants nothing to do with me anymore," Cortex continued to lament, as Crash smiled and comfortingly patted the evil genius on his back. "I'm a lone wolf..."

"A lone wolf? Can someone explain what's going on?" asked Fox, as he made his and Falco's presence known. Cortex sighed, too down in the dumps to tell the pilots his story.

"Dr. Cortex apparently has nowhere to live," explained Aku - life after jail time was hitting Cortex harder than it did Knuckles. "His minions took over his castle, and won't welcome him back."

Dingodile: Morale at Cortex Castle is surprisingly high, or so I've heard. I imagine that it has to do with Cortex not being there, so I told the minions not to welcome their master back after I informed them about his current living situation. Everyone was game...except for Dr. N. Gin, predictably. I should know; he sent me an angry letter in the mail, ripe with made-up profanity words.

"I mean, can you blame them?" asked Falco, as Fox nudged the avian pilot; now wasn't the time for hurting Cortex's feelings. Maybe another time.

"I have no clue where to settle down," Cortex told the pilots, fearing that his living options were limited at the moment - and for the foreseeable future. "Nobody will take me in."

"Well, the mansion's clearly out of the question," stated Fox; Cortex had an equally zero chance of being welcomed by the tower, for obvious reasons. "But I know a guy who has room for you. He's lives over in Bellevue."

"Then take me to him!" requested Cortex as he took out his ray gun, charging it up as a slight precaution. "He better welcome with open arms, or I'll have to do a little...convincing."


Zelda wished to inform Master Hand about Wily wanting to demolish the time machine, but the princess was told to wait outside the teleportation room. Seemed like Master Hand was bringing a special guest or two to Seattle for the second week in a row.

"And...we're done!" confirmed Mega Man after he was done using the teleportation device. At the same time, Zelda's long wait drew to an end.

"Alright princess, you can come on in!" Master Hand called out to Zelda from the teleportation room, as a wary Zelda stepped inside. In the teleportation room, Zelda saw a white guy standing on the teleportation pad.

"Is this what I think this is?" asked the white guy, who had luscious ginger hair; it was Roger, the winter Olympian that Master Hand met back in episode 114. He was very much overwhelmed by deja vu.

"Welcome back to the Smash Mansion!" Master Hand greeted Roger, who was suddenly spooked by the giant hand's presence. "I brought you back here as a recommendation of my good friend, Anna."

"Don't know who this Anna is, but uh, good for her." It hadn't even been a full minute yet, and Roger was already homesick. "How long do you plan on keeping me?"

"Is this really how you wanna act? I'm literally trying to save you from China, and this is the kind of treatment that I get?"

"Hate to burst your bubble, but...I'm not in China anymore. Made it back home from the Olympics." Being that Roger already completed his Olympic events, he happily returned home to the USA.

"Erm, excuse me...almost got into my old habits there." Brushing off his behavior, Master Hand quickly regained his composure. "Say, have you ever met our dear Princess Zelda?"

"Hello," Zelda greeted Roger, keeping her greeting short, sweet, and to the point as she shook the Olympian's hand. "Um, Master Hand, Dr. Wily wishes to destroy the time machine..."

"Can you entertain our guest for a bit, Princess Zelda?" interjected Master Hand, as Zelda was in no mood for keeping some guest company. "Got a special gift for him later."

"And I'm already concerned..." Roger muttered under his breath, with the awareness to know that whatever Master Hand had in store for him couldn't possibly be any good. "...let's get this over with."

"Agreed," said Zelda, as she led Roger out of the teleportation room. The news that she wished to share with Master Hand sadly had to wait until later.

"Anna was the one who bought the gift," Master Hand told Mega Man, who figured as such as he powered down the teleportation device. "It's not exactly gold, but...it gets the job done."


The Boo that was visiting the mansion was floating around, with no clear indication of why it was visiting in the first place. It was floating through the hallways, mostly unseen, with the cameramen keeping up with the ghost's exploits.

"Hm, a lot of nifty clothes in this closet," Boo remarked, as he was going through a hallway closet tossing clothing items onto the floor. Jigglypuff caught Boo in the act.

"Jigglypuff Jigglypuff?" the balloon Pokemon questioned as she cocked her head to the side; Boo apparently found what he wanted, as he pulled out two hooded cloaks from the closet.

"Wouldn't hurt to have two of these." Boo threw the hooded cloaks over his shoulder (if he even had one) as he floated away - not even bothering to clean up his mess. Jigglypuff walked over to the clothes lying on the floor, doing some clean-up duty as she picked up a straw hat. Or so it looked like she was doing some cleaning...

"Jigglypuff!" Jigglypuff placed the straw hat, adorning the red ribbon on it as she casually walked off. Mr. Game and Watch came down the hallway, seeing the mess in front of him, and groaned.

"How many times, man...how many times?" the 2-D man grumbled as he immediately went to work and gathered up all the clothes.


Mario brought Ezio to the mansion, and Sonic and Spyro came along just so they could witness history in the making. It didn't take long for Ezio to become a flirt with the ladies - or at least attempt to be one.

"Who are you supposed to be?" Samus asked Ezio, as she was passing through the foyer only to see the assassin in her midst.

"Only the most interesting man in your life," replied Ezio, as he tried to present himself as charming to Samus. Needless to say, it didn't work, as Samus looked unimpressed.

"Go bury your head..." Samus walked away from Ezio, leading the assassin to grunt in failure. But it wasn't all bad - you miss all the shots you don't take.

Samus: I have to admit, the assassin guy looked pretty handsome underneath his hood... *smiles, then immediately frowns* ...but that's all he has going for him. Still would take him over those fake bachelors that Master Hand brought out.

"This-a way, Ezio," Mario said to the assassin, as he and the boys led Ezio down the hallway. They would see Wily, Shadow, and Hammer Bro outside the basement, sitting on the floor playing cards.

"Remember boys, we can't do anything until Zelda says so," Wily reminded Shadow and Hammer Bro, as he placed a spade on a stack of cards. "She and Link are the authority."

"Screw the authority - we don't have to listen to her," replied Shadow, who just wanted to destroy stuff as opposed to defying Zelda. The hedgehog woke up every day in a destructive mood.

"Have you boys seen-a Altaïr today?" Mario asked Wily and company, who saw Ezio standing with the plumber. Wily and Hammer Bro were intimidated by Ezio's presence - Shadow, not so much.

"Can't say we have; we haven't left this spot all day," answered Wily, leading Mario to further lead his gang down the hallway. Wily and his boys resumed their card game. "Today was a good day to not bring my wallet..."


Boo was now in the Pokemon sanctuary, where he saw all different kinds of Pokemon. Not only that, but he also saw Team Rocket - Jessie, James, Meowth, and even Wobuffet - practicing their famous motto. Or in this case, remixing it.

"Prepare for trouble!" shouted Jessie, as she struck a pose.

"And make it double!" shouted James, as he struck a pose as well.

"Bringing chaos at a breakneck pace..."

"Dashing hope, putting fear in its place..."

"A rose by any other just as sweet..."

"WOOOOBUFFET!" cried Wobuffet, interrupting the motto as he just made to make his presence known. Jessie angrily backhanded the patient Pokemon.

"Darn it Wobuffet, you came in too early!" Jessie scolded her Pokemon, who felt ashamed of what he had done as he lowered his head. "You always jump in at the wrong time."

"Even worse, you always do it right before I could say my line!" James also scolded Wobuffet, only to receive a backhand from Jessie. James yelped in pain, massaging the back of his head.

"Shut up James, it's not about you!" Jessie was completely beside herself, as she walked to a far corner so that could compose herself. "Give me a moment..."

"Man, I really wish that Giovanni could see our recitals," remarked Meowth, who hadn't seen Giovanni in years. He, Jessie, and James missed the guy. "Too bad he's probably still in jail."

"Hm...good to know," Boo said quietly, having eavesdropped enough as he floated out of the sanctuary. Where he was off to next, who knows.


Thanks to Pit's shenanigans at the food market, the mansion spies now had a Chinese police officer monitor their every movement in Beijing. It made them feel uncomfortable with an officer walking behind them.

"Sir, do I have to ask for permission to go potty?" Pit asked the police officer, who was stone-faced the entire time he was following the group. "Because I really have to go!"

"Is it an emergency?" the police officer asked Pit, who was shuffling his feet around a bit as he walked. That was a clear sign that Pit was about to burst.

"Can you not be an embarrassment for one second, you stupid little boy?" Bayonetta asked the Pit, strongly feeling second-hand embarrassment from the angel's behavior. The Luminary, who was keeping his eyes peeled as he walked through the streets of Beijing, spotted a familiar face.

"Hal Emmerich spotted at three o'clock," the mage alerted as he and the others came to a stop; Hal was seen standing by himself, calm and composed as he stood near a crossing light.

"And there goes Snake," said Villager, as Snake joined Hal at the crossing light. Snake brought Hal further away from the Bejing citizens so that he could speak with the hacker in private.

"SNAKE, HAL, GUESS WHO CAME TO BEIJING TO..." Pit shouted at the two friends, as Bayonetta muffled the angel's mouth and ducked behind a car. Villager and the Luminary hid behind the car themselves, as the police officer looked confused.

"Keep it down, you could've blown our cover..." Bayonetta commanded Pit, who instantly learned his lesson as he kept his mouth shut. The Umbra Witch peeked from behind the car, seeing that Snake and Hal had already left. "...great, you must've made them go away."

"This behavior that you're exhibiting is quite peculiar," the police officer approached Bayonetta and company, who got from behind the car now that the coast was clear. "Any reason as to why you're acting this way?"

"Saw those two men at the crossing light?" the Luminary asked the officer, as Bayonetta took her hands away from Pit's mouth. "We followed them to China because they've been suspicious as of late."

"I see. And was releasing the dogs at the food market part of your mission?" Fortunately - and unfortunately - the released dogs were rescued and brought back to their cage.

"No - that was just Pit being a buffoon. His behavior is inexcusable, no matter what country or state of mind he's in."

"Ain't that the truth," confirmed Pit, nodding his head with pride as he owned up to his past mishaps. Taking the Luminary's words into consideration, the police officer took out a notepad and a pen.

"If these men are suspicious as you claim, maybe I can help you track them down," the officer offered to the Luminary and company, who were more than fine with the offer. "How does that sound?"


The pilots flew Crash and Cortex to Bellevue, where they knew a guy that could let Cortex stay at his place. That man happened to own a house that he purchased with the money he raised from his taxi service...and it was none other than B.D. Joe.

Fox, Falco, Crash, Cortex, and Aku were at the doorstep of B.D. Joe's home, asking B.D. Joe if he could let Cortex crash at his place. They had high hopes that the taxi driver would accept the offer, but unfortunately...

"Sorry, man, but I can't let you stay," B.D. Joe apologized to Cortex, who double-checked to ensure that his ray gun was charged up. "Got no room for you."

"But your house has like, four rooms," stated Falco - four rooms for just one taxi driver? B.D. Joe was a greedy man. "So what's the hold-up?"

"You may not know it, but I throw the craziest parties at this joint. I just don't want Cortex's room to be trashed during those parties - you feel me?"

"I can always lock the door, you know," said Cortex, as B.D. Joe quickly grabbed the doorknob as he was about to close the front door. "Wait! Can I at least live in your car?"

"Find your own..." On that note, B.D. Joe slammed the front door on Cortex. Cortex was going to zap B.D. Joe with his ray gun, but he didn't think that it was worth it.

B.D. Joe: I have an actually justifiable reason for not taking in Dr. Cortex. So back in 2018, when I let everyone stay while Calamity Ganon was being handled, Cortex ate an entire box of doughnuts. This man had the audacity, the sheer audacity, to leave the empty box closed on the kitchen counter, and make me and everybody else assume that there were doughnuts left. Why couldn't Cortex just throw the box out like a normal person?! For that reason alone, Cortex would make for an awful housemate.

"That's rough, man," Fox said to Cortex, who was still determined to find a home soon. Crash rubbed Cortex's shoulders from behind, providing the evil genius an extra boost of motivation.

"Does Blathers live at this museum?" Cortex asked Fox and Falco, having heard murmurings that Blathers had his own bedroom at the museum. The same went for Brewster. "You think he has a spare room for me?"

"Wouldn't hurt to ask." Given that Blathers was a generous fellow, he would welcome any evil genius with open arms.


Boo was now at the lounge, where he saw Captain Falcon sitting on the couch with Nowi. Falcon was telling Nowi stories of his epic adventures - some were true, while others were obvious tall tales.

"...and that's when I Falcon Punched Jakob to oblivion and broke every bone in his body!" the racer detailed his heroic efforts in episode 99 to Nowi; it was one of his finest moments, all things considered.

"Captain Falcon, you've told me this story many times before," smiled Nowi, who didn't have it in her to complain; it was simply not in her DNA. "Last time you said that you only broke his leg!"

"Alright then, maybe I can tell you the story of how I defeated Infinite all by himself. That one's totally legit." Spoiler alert - it wasn't legit, far from it in fact.

"Please do tell..." said Boo as he floated down closer to Captain Falcon and Nowi, finding himself curious about this (untrue) tale from Captain Falcon.


Mario and friends were on the hunt for Altaïr, but they couldn't seem to find the assassin anywhere. Either that was a testament to how shifty Altaïr was, or maybe Mario just sucked at searching for people and dragged everyone else down with him.

"When I was a young man my interests were mainly..." Ezio discussed with Mario and the others, only to be sidetracked when he saw Lucina walk down the hallway. The assassin hustled his way over to Lucina, making the princess stop in her tracks. "...hello."

"Sorry, but I'm already married," Lucina stated to Ezio, knowing what kind of tricks the assassin was going to pull as he hurried away from him. Yet another missed opportunity for Ezio.

"I'm surprised that you ever got anything done," Spyro said to Ezio, who returned to the group overwhelmed by bitter defeat. Ezio should just stop trying at this point, he was embarrassing himself.

"As was my mother," responded Ezio, admitting defeat as his chances of wooing a lady at the mansion were becoming slim. Mario saw Peppy Hare pass by, licking an ice cream cone.

"Peppy, have you seen-a Altaïr today?" Mario asked the rabbit, who stopped in place as he saw Ezio standing by. Something about Ezio gave Peppy some awfully bad vibes.

"Last time I saw him, he was in the vending machine room," replied Peppy, as Ezio was quietly sizing up the rabbit. "Stealing snacks from the machine like it was no one's business!"

"I do the same thing," admitted Sonic, who found Altaïr to be a very wise man. Great minds think alike. "Screw paying for the snacks, I live here dang it!"

"Save-a your soapbox for another time, Sonic," Mario advised the blue hedgehog, before reverting his attention to Peppy as the rabbit licked his melting ice cream cone. "Thanks for the tip, Peppy."

"No problem," responded Peppy as he continued to lick away...only to be ambushed by Ezio. The rabbit screamed in horror as Ezio dropped him to the floor, before taking out his wallet.

"I'm terribly sorry...this is a force of habit," Ezio earnestly apologized to Mario and company, as he inspected Peppy's wallet for anything of interest. Some of the items he found included a debit card and an...expired gift card for some hairdresser in town.

"No, my precious ice cream cone!" wailed Peppy, as he was more concerned about his ice cream cone being wasted on the floor than his own wallet being stolen from him.


The mansion spies now had a Chinese police officer at their side, as they hoped to track down Snake and Hal in Beijing. Their search led them to a place that they probably shouldn't be at - the Olympic Village.

"We should turn back while we still can," the police officer stressed to Bayonetta and company, who arrived at the grounds of the Olympic Village. "This is considered trespassing!"

"It won't be as bad with you around," Bayonetta said to the police officer, who was worried about the prospect of being punished for not turning the mansion residents away. "You'll take plenty of attention off of us."

"No, I think I'll do the exact opposite..." The police officer had no choice but to follow closely behind the four, hoping that they wouldn't goof up while they were in the Olympic Village. But with certain individuals, that was asking for too much trouble.

"Snake, Hal, where are you?!" Pit called out to the former spy and hacker, incidentally making his and everyone else's presence known in the Village. So much for keeping a low profile.

"Pit, my dear, how would you like to do some aerial reconnaissance?" Bayonetta offered to the angel, doing whatever was possible to keep him away. "Since that's what you were meant to do in the first place..."

"Good thinking, Bayonetta!" So Pit flew up into the skies, flying over the Olympic Village as he looked down below and shouted, "Snake, Hal, show yourselves. Come out, come out, wherever you are!"

"Pit, you're doing it all wrong!" the Luminary shouted to the angle, before ultimately giving up as he shook his head. "Oh, why bother..."

Luminary: Something I've noticed over time, but Pit has quite the knack for acting foolishly in public. Considering how dangerously strict China is, I'm surprised that the worst thing that Pit has gotten was a slap on the wrist. So far, at least.


After he heard the story of Captain Falcon defeating Infinite - which was ninety-nine percent fabricated - Boo wandered off to the gaming room. There, he saw Ness, who was accompanied by his friends - Lucas, Kumatora, Paula, and Poo.

"You haven't been quite yourself lately," Kumatora said to Ness, who had been looking uneasy throughout most of the week. "Something's got you down?"

"It's the Super Bowl," theorized Poo, believing that Ness was devastated about the Los Angeles Rams winning the big game. "He's upset that the Bengals couldn't win, and avenge Harambe's death."

"Avenge Harambe's death?" Paula furrowed her brow at Poo, having no idea what a deceased gorilla had to do with a pro football team in Cincinnati. "I don't think that any of the Bengals players cared about Harambe."

"How dare you besmirch the great name of Harambe!" It was a good thing that Pit wasn't around to hear Paula's disrespect; he would've been even more ticked than Poo was.

"It has nothing to do with the Super Bowl," stated Ness, ready to come clean with whatever was dwelling on his mind. "Just worried that somebody found their way out of Subspace..." Boo, who was eavesdropping a bit, quietly laughed to himself.


Barret was about done with repairing Cloud's motorcycle, as he was using a wrench on one of the motorcycle wheels. As Barret pulled down on the wrench and released his grip, the wrench flew into the air much to his dismay.

"Gah! How did that happen?" questioned Barret, as he and Cloud watched the wrench land in some nearby shrubbery. "Boy do I hate physics..."

"I'll go get it," volunteered Cloud as he ran to the shrubbery to fetch the wrench. As he pulled the bushes away, Cloud not only saw the wrench...but also an unconscious body. "Hey, Barret, check this out!"

"What is it?" Barret came over to Cloud and underneath the shrubbery, the terrorist saw Magolor who was seemingly fast asleep. "Is that Kirby's friend?"

"Sure is - must be in a very deep sleep. Let me see if I can wake him up..." Pulling out a small stick that he found lying on the ground, Cloud gently poked Magolor in the face...

"Yes please, Miss Elizabeth, I would love more pancakes!" Magolor blurted out as he was suddenly awoken from his slumber. The alien shrieked in fright when he saw Cloud and Barret peering down at him.

"Relax, we didn't mean to disturb you." Cloud tried to be gentle with Magolor, who had his head turned away as he cowered in fear. Sensing that neither Cloud nor Barret was laying a finger on him, Magolor instantly manned up.

"So you guys don't want to kill me? Phew! Thank goodness." Magolor saw the dirt and leaves on his body, as he dusted himself off. "My prayers have been answered."

"How long were you sleeping behind the bushes?" It appeared that Magolor didn't know the answer, as it took him a while to think.

"Well, the last thing I remember was getting strangled by Snake. And that was on the 11th of February...what's today's date?"

"February 18th," answered Barret, and Magolor was astonished as his eyes grew big. Which seemed impossible, given that his eyes were already big enough.

Magolor: I was asleep since February 11th?! That's unbelievable! I had my very own Rip Van Winkle moment.

"So I was asleep for that long?" asked Magolor, wondering what big events he messed out on during his week-long slumber. He was at a loss for words.

"Apparently so," replied Cloud, who was surprised that Magolor had gone undiscovered until now. "Snake must've left you for dead."

"I could see why...he and Hal are on my case." Magolor was at odds with Snake for a couple of weeks now, although it was never stated why that was so.

"After I got my motorcycle fixed, how about we talk about some stuff? Specifically, that stunt where you tried to hypnotize Master Hand..."

"Oh yeah...you guys are probably still heated about that incident, aren't you? Suppose I could tell you what compelled me to do that..."


Fox and Falco stopped by Blathers' museum, expecting Blathers to have an available room for Cortex. The pilots, Crash, and Cortex spoke with Blathers down at The Roost, as Brewster fixed their coffee.

"I could turn my storage room into a bedroom," said Blathers, as he mulled over whatever available space he had at his museum. "I did have plans to make it a guest room one time."

"That's good to hear," said Fox, believing that Cortex was one step closer to finding a new place to stay at. Living at the museum sounded less than ideal, but it was better than nothing.

"What do you say, Brewster?" Blathers asked his pigeon friend; while Blathers was open to Cortex staying at the museum, Brewster would also have to feel the same way.

"Do you like pigeon milk in your coffee?" Brewster asked Cortex; this was apparently the million-dollar question that would make or break Cortex's chances.

"If I had very poor taste, I would," replied Cortex, as his answer told Brewster everything that he needed to know. Brewster grabbed the evil genius's cup of coffee and poured it down the drain.

"Congratulations...you ruined your own chances." Now back to square one, Cortex slammed his head against the countertop, as Crash comfortingly patted the evil genius on his back.

"Think that Professor E. Gadd might have some room?" Fox asked Falco, thinking of E. Gadd as a last resort. Being that E. Gadd owned a mansion, surely he had a spare room for Cortex.


After he had brought Ezio to Mario, Link returned to Zelda who was busy "entertaining" Roger. Zelda brought Roger to the arcade room, where Link tried to challenge Roger to an arcade game.

"X Games Snowboarder, you and me," Link challenged Roger as he brought the Olympian's attention to a snowboarding arcade game. "It's a game right up your alley."

"Shouldn't it be two-player?" asked Roger as he saw only one X Games Snowboarder arcade machine present, which made Link do a double-take.

"But there were supposed to be two of them..." Link saw the Arcade Bunny walk by, as he had some major questions for the rabbit. "...Arcade Bunny, wasn't there two snowboarding games, side-by-side?

"There were two of them...until Altaïr decided to steal tokens from one of the machines," explained the Arcade Bunny...who looked over and saw Altaïr taking tokens out of a Cuphead arcade machine. "Dang it, Altaïr, I just got that game!"

"What's your point?" asked Altaïr, done with his deed as he placed a bunch of tokens in a small brown sack. "Finder's keepers, as they always say."

Altaïr: No resident should ever pay to use tokens - or even use tokens just to use any of the machines. It's not like they're visitors. I am merely doing everyone a favor - can't hurt to start somewhere.

"This is one of Altaïr's favorite-a spots, believe it or not," Mario explained to Ezio as he, Spyro, and Sonic brought the assassin into the arcade room...where Ezio saw Altaïr for the first time. "And look who it is..."

"Ah, you must be the great Altaïr Ibn-La'Ahad," Ezio said to Altaïr as two legendary assassins were finally sharing the same space. Ezio had to shake Altaïr's hand, as the opportunity was too big to pass up. "It's great to..."

"You must be Ezio, right?" Roger asked the assassin as he cut him off from approaching Altaïr. Ezio was but a couple of feet away from where Altaïr stood. "Nice seeing you in person."

"Likewise." Ezio gave Roger a simple nod, before looking back at Mario and company and whispering to them, "How does he know who I am?"

"He's a clairvoyant," Sonic quietly informed Ezio, only to later remind himself of what a clairvoyant actually does. "He goes forward and backward." Ezio nodded his head in understanding, as he turned back around.

"Out of my way..." Altaïr said to Roger as he pushed the Olympian to the side. Altaïr and Ezio were now face-to-face. "Your robe...it looks awfully familiar. What clan are you from?"

"I am from the Italian Brotherhood; you may call me Ezio," Ezio introduced himself, as he finally shook hands with Altaïr. A legendary moment in the making. "I have heard many stories about your exploits."

"Yes, if it wasn't for me, the Assassins' influences would've been little...I have paved the way for assassins such as yourself. Left behind quite the legacy."

"Indeed you have...but now that you're here, why not show me some of your skill? Wouldn't hurt to learn from a fellow assassin, especially one of your..."

"We are not doing such a thing," interjected Zelda, seeing how things were headed as she exerted her authority. "Mario, we wanted to keep Ezio away from Altaïr for a reason."

"Is it because-a you hate budding friendships?" asked Mario, as Ezio and Altaïr were both staring at Roger. Great minds were thinking alike. "Has being Samus's only friend finally affected you?"

"I don't like the way you guys are looking at me..." an uncomfortable Roger said to Ezio and Altaïr, smiling nervously as he backed away. The two assassins were slowly approaching Roger, and it was a matter of which one would make the first move.

"Watch and learn..." Altaïr said to Ezio, making the first move as he dashed right past Roger. Roger looked around at first, only to be ambushed by Altaïr from behind as Altaïr dropped the Olympian to the floor.

"Hey, watch it!" Roger shouted at Altaïr, who was pickpocketing the fallen Olympian's pockets. Aside from Roger's wallet, Altaïr found nothing worth of value.

"Nothing..." grunted Altaïr, handing Roger back his wallet as he stood up in defeat. He looked towards Ezio, who was learning from the master. "...let us go, Ezio - this mansion has a high population for us to plunder."

"You lead the way," Ezio said to Altaïr as he followed the assassin out of the arcade room. Roger was left rubbing his back, as Link helped him up.

"This is exactly what I feared," sighed Zelda, as she felt bad for any resident that would be ambushed by the assassin duo. "Since you started this Mario...you will be the one to end it."

"Not like Ezio and Altaïr will find-a anything of worth," stated Mario, as Zelda had to convince the plumber a little by looking at him sternly. Mario was put in his place as he shuddered. "Uh, we'll hop right-a on it!"

Roger: Maybe it was a good thing I didn't win a medal at the Winter Olympics. Then again, I'd be an idiot to carry one around in my pocket.


Boo, being a ghost, phased his way into the producers' room which was home to all the documented footage of Smash Life. He saw the large computer screen that dominated the room, and he also saw the laptops that were scattered around on the desk.

"Wouldn't hurt if I borrowed one of these," said Boo as he grabbed one of the laptops and left the room. Had to leave through the door, as the laptop made his phasing ability difficult.


After his motorcycle was fixed, Cloud brought Magolor to somewhere in the backyard so that he could speak with the alien in private. Magolor revealed to Cloud the reason why he attempted to hypnotize Master Hand, stating that he was doing someone's bidding.

"'Evil jester guy' really tells me a lot, Magolor," Cloud said to the alien, who was too nervous to reveal the identity of this evil jester guy. "Is it Kefka?"

"...perhaps," replied Magolor as he twiddled with his fingers...or rather, tapping his hands together. Which was just as effective. "But I'll have you know that he bought that hypnosis ray from the NME Superstore."

"He must be a big money grip." Prices at the NME Superstore - egregiously high, in fact - so this evil jester guy must be rolling in cash.

"If I recall, he bought the gun using a debit card from some 'associate' of his. Had it sent to the mansion in time for me to...you know."

"Do I need to know who this associate is? Or are you too scared to tell me who they are? Is it a man or a woman?"

"It's a man...and it's also someone you might have some history with." A person that Cloud was already familiar with? That surely had Cloud's attention.


The pilots, Crash, and Cortex were now at E. Gadd's mansion, seeing E. Gadd as the last hope for Cortex in regards to his living situation. They were all standing at the front door, with Fox ringing the doorbell.

"This might be our last shot," said Aku, who was floating behind everyone E. Gadd was heard coming down the stairs. E. Gadd soon opened the door, pleasantly delighted to see some company.

"Good afternoon, gentlemen!" the inventor greeted, slightly adjusting his glasses as he got a good look at his visitors. "Just in time for lunch. Who here likes bread pudding?"

"Nobody likes bread pudding," Fox informed E. Gadd, turning the inventor's smile upside down. Almost ruined his appetite, too. "And we're not here for lunch. We were wondering if you wanted some company."

"Funny you should mention that - I got a new companion a few weeks ago, and it cured me of my perpetual loneliness. I think you should see him!"

"Who's that at the door, professor?" a voice called out to E. Gadd, as a certain floating mask flew to the front door. Aku gasped, for that floating mask happened to be his evil twin brother.

"Uka?!" uttered Aku, as he never imagined in a million years that Uka would associate himself with E. Gadd. Uka really must've missed having a bright mind to tag along with.

"But...but how?!" questioned Cortex as he, Crash, and the pilots were equally shocked. "Uka, are you...cheating on me?" That question got some weird looks from Fox and Falco.

"No, Dr. Cortex, it's not what you think!" replied Uka, as Fox and Falco both had to turn away to stifle their laughter. Cortex and Uka were acting like the odd couple that they were known for. "I just wanted to accompany a bright mind again...albeit one with a better track record."

"Oh please, E. Gadd could only wish that he was like me!" Why would E. Gadd wish to be an evil genius typically associated with failure? "Here I am, spending my time searching for a new home while you've been staying with this wrinkly crustacean..."

"Searching for a new home, you say?" inquired E. Gadd, as he knew of a perfect remedy for Cortex's living situation. "Well, doc, you came to the right place!"

"I did?" Just like that, whatever ill will Cortex harbored towards Uka (and E. Gadd to a lesser extent) vanished away. "You'll let me be your housemate?"

"Of course! Your mask friend is already here, so this will work out best for everyone." At long last, Cortex found himself a new home, and Crash celebrated by giving Cortex a hug.

"Uh, I think you should reconsider this," Uka suggested to E. Gadd, who refused to change his mind - the decision was set in stone.

Uka: And so ends my break from that N-head numskull... *sighs* ...I was hoping that E. Gadd's mansion would be my safe space, but I should've known better. Should've gone to Dr. N. Tropy instead. Stupid, stupid, STUPID!

"We might as well help you move your stuff in," Falco said to Cortex, who had enough of Crash hugging him as he shoved the bandicoot away. "All your belongings got thrown in the basement after you got arrested."

"Long as he didn't throw anything in the garbage bin, I'm not too mad," responded Cortex, before a worrisome thought entered his mind. "Whoever moved out my stuff, did they see any pictures of Tiki by any chance?"


Bayonetta and company were deep inside the Olympic Village, as they were now inside one of the apartments. The Chinese police officer accompanying them was on high alert, fearing that he might get in big trouble soon.

"We're over-exceeding our boundaries..." the police officer stressed to Bayonetta and company, who were checking every nook and cranny of the first floor of the apartment they were at. "...I should be back on patrol duty right now."

"You made your own bed, so you have no choice but to lie in it," responded Bayonetta, who was doing some snooping around in the apartment lobby. "It was awfully nice of the security to let us in."

"Yeah, after you punched them in the face with Madame Butterfly's fists," said the Luminary, as he looked up at a destroyed security camera. Courtesy of Madame Butterfly herself.

"Those fists of yours will get us in more trouble than that dumb angel will," the police officer told Bayonetta...and would you know it, Pit came crashing through of the windows in the lobby, as the officer sighed. "Me and my big mouth..."

"Guys, guys...I found out where Snake and Hal are!" alerted Pit, finally making himself useful for once. A blind squirrel finds a nut every once and a while. "Saw them outside speaking with some Chinese lady."

"Must be Mei Ling; Hal was calling her on the phone," stated the Luminary as he recalled the phone conversation Hal had in the previous episode. "Can you show us where they're at?"


It was now time for Roger to receive his special gift, as Master Hand told Link and Zelda to bring the Olympian to his room. Anna was there to present the gift to Roger, which was kept inside a box.

"Since you couldn't win the gold at the Winter Olympics, this gift will atone for it," Master Hand explained to Roger, who received the box from Anna. "Consider it a consolation gift."

"I have no expectations, and I still expect to be disappointed..." said Roger as he lifted the lid off the box, taking out whatever was inside. The gift turned out to be a gold jacket, which Anna somehow managed to fit inside the box.

"Ta-da! It's your very own gold jacket." Evidently, Roger wasn't a huge fan, as he took out the gold jacket and held it up. The jacket was wrinkly from top to bottom, but at least it didn't smell.

"Oops! Meant to iron it before I stuffed it inside," Anna smiled sheepishly, although ironing wouldn't have mattered anyway. "Go ahead, put it on!"

Master Hand: A gold jacket made with actual gold obviously would've been too costly. Anna knew how to budget the money - even picked up a few tips from her. Learning from a capitalist isn't so bad after all...

"Thanks, Master Hand...you shouldn't have," Roger thanked the giant hand with a forced smile as he tried on the jacket. Roger felt no different wearing the jacket, which he was open to setting ablaze with fire.

"Don't thank me - it was Anna who made the purchase," said Master Hand, as Roger looked down for a zipper...which the gold jacket apparently didn't have. Some jacket that was.

"We have a garbage bin at the side of the mansion," Link informed Roger, who was raring to take off the gold jacket - and who could blame him? What jacket doesn't come with a zipper?!

"Thanks for the info," Roger thanked Link, happily leaving Master Hand's room as he was ready to take off his gold jacket. But before the Olympian could even pull down the sleeves...

...he was suddenly ambushed from behind by Ezio, who grabbed the gold jacket and pulled the hood over Roger's head. With Roger blinded, Altaïr came in and kneed the Olympian in the stomach.

"Why me...?" wondered Roger, as he crumpled to the floor in pain; Link and Zelda stepped out of Master Hand's room to investigate, as they saw Ezio stealing Roger's gold jacket.

"This doesn't look that expensive," said Ezio as he held up the jacket, and Altaïr didn't think much of the jacket either. Ezio then held the jacket up to Link and Zelda, with the latter unamused. "What do you two say?"

"Give me that..." Zelda said to Ezio as she snatched the gold jacket away from the assassin, angrily balling it up. "...now where is that Mario?"

"Mama mia...she sent-a you FIVE copies of the same video?" Mario asked Sonic, as he came down the hallway with the hedgehog and Spyro. Sonic was showing Mario and Spyro the video from earlier on his phone.

"I never responded the first time, so she kept on sending multiple times until I gave her my..." replied Sonic, only to come to a stop when he saw Zelda frowning. But it wasn't Sonic that Zelda was most angry with...it was Mario.

"Hooray, we found-a the assassins..." Mario cheered with very low enthusiasm as he saw Ezio and Altaïr, while Roger on lying in his back in pain. "...uh, we got side-tracked."

"Stole anything from the others?" Zelda asked Ezio and Altaïr, who looked at each other before digging into their pockets. "Take it all out..."


It took him a while, but Pit became a huge asset during his time in Beijing. The angel found out where Snake and Hal were, which was at the outskirts of the Olympic Village. Bayonetta and company were spying on Snake and Hal, who were speaking with Mei Ling.

"Our subject is believed to have a few underlings," Mei discussed with Snake and Hal, as Bayonetta and company drew closer so that they could hear better. "Wish I had some pictures of them to show you."

"Not necessary," Snake assured Mei, as he gave Hal the side-eye. "Mr. Four Eyes wouldn't be trusted to keep the pics concealed." Hal was deeply hurt by Snake's comments if the look on his face was any indication.

"Again, Snake, I'm sorry!" apologized Hal - no matter how many times that he apologized, Hal had yet to be forgiven by Snake. "I couldn't simply say no to the Luminary."

"That's no excuse - I would never let the Luminary talk me into giving away some secret. I'd wring that shrimp's little neck if I wanted to."

"Uh oh, Luminary...that sounds like fighting words." Pit whispered to the Luminary, as he pushed the mage forward. The Luminary was out in the open, looking nervous. "Prove him wrong!"

"We're so done for..." fretted Villager, hoping that neither Snake nor Hal would look over and notice the Luminary...but Mei noticed the mage right off the bat.

"Is that him? The Luminary?" Mei asked Snake and Hal, as he brought their attention to the Luminary standing alone by himself. Snake scowled when he saw the Luminary.

"You would follow me to China, wouldn't you?" Snake asked the Luminary, as he had a bone to pick with the mage. The former spy marched angrily towards the Luminary, who grew in fear.

"Uh...I can explain!" the Luminary shouted to Snake, who was ready to punch the mage in the face. Suddenly, the tag-along Chinese police officer stepped in between Snake and the Luminary, saving the latter's butt.

"Freeze! I am with the Beijing Municipal Public Security Bureau," the police officer said to Snake as he flashed his police badge. The biggest flex that any law enforcer could have.

"That's cute...you're looking at a former member of FOXHOUND," Snake fired back at the police officer, giving him a taste of his own medicine. "Try and top that, I dare you."

Snake: There's something awfully cathartic about telling someone that you used to work for FOXHOUND. Running into some poser and having the urge to... *pauses* ...don't tell me you guys were spying on me, too!

"I've been told that you were up to no good," the police officer said to Snake, who glared at the Luminary and made him shudder. "Is this true?"

"We're running a top-secret investigation," explained Snake, as the police officer saw Hal and Mei standing from a far distance. "Pretty heavy stuff."

"Mind clueing me in on what exactly you're investigating?" The police officer was curious to know, and Snake had no choice but to give in.

"I can't really give any names, since nothing is concrete as of yet...but our subject is some evil jester. Or an evil clown. That's what I've inferred so far from the evidence we've gained."

"Ooh, ooh, I know a clown!" shouted Pit as he emerged from the hiding spot, startling Snake and making him let out a manly shriek. Snake knew that Pit was around, after hearing his voice earlier.

"It was nice speaking with you, good sir." Snake eagerly shook the police officer's hand, before hightailing away as he returned to Hal and Mei. "Move it, people! Hustle, hustle!"

"Wait, Snake, come back!" Pit ran after Snake, who guided Hal and Mei to another spot where they could discuss in private. "You heard the story about Pennywise, haven't you?"

"How long do you all plan on staying in Beijing?" the police officer asked Bayonetta and company, who honestly had no timetable for their stay. "I could have my men do some of the dirty work for you."


Since the basement door from outside had yet to be fixed, Fox and Falco were free to enter the basement and get Cortex's belongings. They were stuffing the belongings in a suitcase, as the basement door from the other side creaked open.

"Hurry, hurry!" Fox whispered to Falco, who quickly zipped up the suitcase as he and Fox hurried out of the basement. By the time Fox and Falco went outside, Zelda entered the basement bringing Ezio with her. And she was not in a happy mood.

"Wait down there," Zelda commanded Ezio, directing him down the steps. Ezio went down the stairs, as Zelda was about to exit the basement - only to run into Wily.

"After Ezio is transported back to his time...can we destroy the time machine?" Wily asked Zelda, wanting the time machine demolished before midnight. "Shadow is really feigning for destruction."

"Maybe at a later time." Zelda had yet to ask Master Hand for clearance, and she was in no mood to ask him now. "Do you think you know how to the time machine, Dr. Wily?"

"Quite frankly, I'm not Professor Burnet! Bet you she's sharing pointers with that wretched Professor E. Gadd in that group chat I was never invited to..."

"In that case, I'll try and contact E. Gadd." So Zelda left the basement, leaving Wily in shambles as the robot inventor fell to his knees. "He might figure something out."

"CURSE YOU, E. GADD!" Wily shouted at the top of his lungs, venting his frustrations upon E. Gadd for no apparent reason. Ezio and Altaïr stared at Wily, wondering what was wrong with him.


Cloud was done chatting with Magolor, after getting nowhere with the alien. Since Magolor was too reluctant to give out any names, Cloud had no choice but to cut the conversation short.

"I'd like to think that you aren't welcomed back anymore," Cloud said to Magolor, who figured as such considering that he got thrown out of a window and all. "So, uh...make sure you remember that."

"Before I go, a little disclaimer,..." stated Magolor, as Cloud kept his ears peeled for whatever confession Magolor wanted to make. "...I sometimes have trouble speaking up for myself. Again, a little disclaimer."

"I can already tell." Cloud was ready to head back inside the mansion, as he had his back turned towards Magolor. "Just remember, you can always say no. Even to whoever you're working for. There's always a way out."

"Always a way out...I'll try and remember that. Good talk." On that note, Cloud headed towards the mansion, as Magolor was about to leave himself...but not before being approached by Boo.

"I did all that I could in there," Boo said to Magolor as he was holding the two robes and the laptop that he stole. "Ready to head back to the boss?"

"Sure am," replied Magolor, albeit with some reluctance, only for Boo to drop the stolen items in the alien's hands. "Hm?"

"One sec...there was one place that I missed. Be right back!" So Boo vanished away, as Magolor glanced at the stuff in his possession.


Ezio was joined in the basement by Altaïr, who wished to say his parting words to the fellow assassin. Altaïr even gave Ezio a small little trinket to remember him by.

"Take this, it's one of my daggers," Altaïr offered a dagger to Ezio, passing a handy weapon of his to a man worthy of holding the blade. "Use it wisely."

"I will use it in your honor," Ezio said to Altaïr as he accepted the dagger. Altaïr smiled, knowing that his dagger would be in the right hands. "Thank you for sharing with me some of your craft, Altaïr Ibn-La'Ahad."

"Yo, Altaïr - your alarm clock is going off again!" Cuphead called out to the assassin from the basement entrance, as Ezio stared at the talking cup peculiarly. "You gotta stop setting your clock in the P.M., man!"

"Your roommate really is a talking cup..." Ezio said to Altaïr, seeing Cuphead's existence as the clearest sign that he was in the future. One of the signs. "...also, what's an alarm clock?"

"To this day, I do not know," replied Altaïr before heading up the stairs so that he could turn off his alarm clock. "Until we meet again, Ezio!"

Ezio: Sadly my trip to the future has left me empty-handed, with no treasures to hold. But I have learned a lot under Altaïr's tutelage, so I can't say that I'm heading back to my time with nothing. But I do have some unanswered questions...what's an alarm clock? And how can that cup speak?

After Altaïr left, Ezio went back to chilling by himself in the basement. But the assassin wouldn't be alone, for Boo phased through the basement walls and spotted the time machine.

"This must be the time machine I heard that old coot mention...how interesting," Boo said quietly, smiling mischievously as he rubbed his hands together. Suddenly, Gray Fox appeared behind Boo, after deactivating his camouflage. How long was he in the basement?

"Yes, very interesting indeed..." Gray Fox muttered under his breath, seeing that the time machine was a major point of interest.


Zelda managed to contact E. Gadd, asking him to operate the time machine, and E. Gadd agreed to help. So while E. Gadd prepared to leave, Fox, Falco, and Crash helped Cortex move into his new digs.

"Got some bread pudding in the fridge if you boys are hungry!" E. Gadd shouted as he left his mansion, slamming the front door behind him. Fox, who was in the mansion's foyer, shook his head.

"I feel so bad for him - I bet his dinners must be the worst," the pilot commented, as Falco came into the foyer holding a sheet of paper with writing on it. "Hey, only one of us is allowed to go on break."

"Sneaked inside E. Gadd's bedroom, and saw this," Falco said to Fox as he handed him the sheet of paper he was holding. Fox snatched the sheet right away. "E. Gadd must be writing some lame fictional story."

"Heh, all I see are vague references to some...court jester character." Fox didn't think much of what he read, scoffing as he dropped the paper onto the floor. "Who is he even writing about? Kefka? Dimentio?"

"Pfft. Those guys are old news. Especially Dimentio - we won't be seeing him for a long time, given the place he's stuck at."

"Ain't that the truth. Hey, how about we do E. Gadd a solid, and toss that bread pudding down the garbage disposal? He won't regret it."

The thought of E. Gadd writing a story about a court jester sounded off on the surface - what if that writing came out from a notebook or even a journal?