Author's Note:
Got a new chapter for you all, and a bunch of reviews to answer - so let's jump right in!
"One question. Who is Earnest supposed to be? Is it one of your "caricature" of a famous athlete, or is he an OC?"
Earnest is an original character that first appeared back in chapter 249. Feel free to re-read if you must. Another anonymous review:
"Question, is Guile's plot ended with the visit to the vet's home, or was there supposed to be more?"
There is going to be more with Guile. It's part of a small arc I'm doing with him. Another anonymous review:
"Wait a minute...isn't that a line from Sonic Boom? What an underrated show. The games, tho? It can suck my behind. So, does that mean Sticks will appear soon?"
Liked the Sonic Boom show - it was better than I gave it credit for. Sticks was definitely a character, that's for sure. As for if she'll appear in this story, that I'll have to figure out. One last anonymous review:
"Well, looks like we're set for the Summer of Punk 3.0. First ROH, then WWE, now AEW. Since you're a wrestling fan, what's your opinion?"
A Summer of Punk in three different wrestling promotions?! We have come full circle. I'm curious as to how CM Punk's title reign will turn out; he has some amount of charisma, which can't be said for a lot of wrestlers in AEW I'm afraid (not in the mood for ratting out names). Can he bring more eyeballs to AEW's product? Only time will tell. Here's David with more questions:
"With Lee Chaolan showing up, are we one step close to seeing a Mishima Family reunion? (Jun, Lars, Asuka Kazama, and Kazumi are left). A scene of the two Asukas dressing like the WWE wrestler of the same name? Does King Boo have his Luigi's Mansion appearance rather than his appearance they give him in Mario Kart. Any references to Super Princess Peach? Will the Fire Emblem Three Houses cast have their new looks for the Three Hopes chapter? And finally, what are your thoughts on the Money in the Bank event moving to a smaller arena like the MGM Grand Garden Arena? And do you think Elias should keep the Ezekiel gimmick a little longer?"
We are indeed one step closer. I can only see Asuka of Senran Kagura pull that one off. King Boo has his Mario Kart appearance. No references to Super Princess Peach. The Three Houses cast will indeed have new looks for the Three Hopes chapter. And I could see why that moved MITB to a smaller venue; treating it as a "Big 4" premium live event seems too hamfisted to me. And Elias keeping the Ezekiel gimmick? Elias hasn't been around in WWE for a minute; we've only seen his little brother, Ezekiel. Maybe someday, Ezekiel will bring his older brother Elias back into the fold. Would love to see those two sharing the ring together; it would blow Kevin Owens' mind. The Reader has exciting news:
"Well, June 5 will be the 4th year anniversary of the original release of BlazBlue Cross Tag Battle. You think we can have an episode with the BBTAG's cast, especially the BlazBlue cast (we need that Ragna and Jin appearance, bruh) and the UNIST cast? It doesn't have to be for this chapter, can be the next one, or the one after that, maybe in the week after Mario Strikers and before Three Hopes."
After Mario Strikers, and before Three Hopes? We'll see if I can do the episode then. Finally, A JRPG enjoyer with exciting Pokemon news:
"Well, we got our release date for Pokemon Scarlet and Violet. November 18. Wow, can't believe it's only been 3 years since Sword/Shield. What do you think of the second trailer? The legendaries looks nice, and I like the 2 professors. But I still don't like the default outfit for the protags. It looked ike a school uniform."
So a trailer for the new Pokemon game dropped earlier this week, and what did we get? New Pokemon, new legendaries, and a new rival. The professors are way too good-looking. (Professor Juniper really started a trend back in Gen V, huh?) The default outfits for the protagonists, though, I'm not really feeling it. Hope to see new regional forms and maybe some cross-gen evolutions as well in the futre, but overall I'm excited about how Gen IX is shaking up so far.
Episode 337: Toadsworth
June 3, 2016. That was the day when Luigi and Daisy got married. (The fact that Luigi got married before Mario was still an amusing fact to those who knew the Mario Bros well.)
A lot of stuff has happened since that glorious day. Luigi and Daisy had moved into their house, and have since then started a family, adopted a few pets, and even welcomed a freeloading ninja girl into their humble abode. And they did all of that without hardly breaking a sweat.
Today marked Luigi and Daisy's sixth-year anniversary, and one question remained on everyone's minds, or at least the minds of those who cared enough - were Luigi and Daisy both aware? Daisy was, but she had to see if her man knew how special today was.
"Morning Luigi!" Daisy greeted her husband, as she sat on the bed with a warm smile on her face. Luigi woke up after hearing Daisy's voice, almost on command as his eyes were opened.
"Good-a morning princess," responded Luigi as he sat on, stretched his arms, and scratched his butt. The prototypical morning routine for Luigi. "What's-a up?"
"Do you know what today is?" Daisy was smiling hard at Luigi, expecting Luigi to give the right answer right off the bat. But unfortunately for the princess, Luigi was having a massive brainfart.
"Wait a moment, it'll come-a to me..." Mustering all the brainpower he had in that noggin of his, Luigi tried to think what day it was - and then it finally hit him. "...of course! Today is laundry day!"
"Yes...and what else?" That wasn't the answer Daisy wanted, and so Luigi had to rely on his brainpower yet again. After a few seconds of concentrating, squinting, and making weird noises, Luigi finally got the right answer. Or so he believed.
"It's also...recycling day! We usually take-a out the recycling stuff on Fridays." That also wasn't the answer Daisy was looking for, as Daisy stared at her husband withholding the urge to slap him silly. "Or is it garbage day?"
"Luigi, you silly goose - today is our anniversary! It's been six years!" It finally hit Luigi, like a mobile train crashing into a car conspicuously parked on a railroad track. And once he realized the fact, Luigi screamed.
"Mama mia! Has it really been six-a years?" Luigi was starting to feel like an old man, if he hadn't already, and was fearing that he was years away from starting a midlife crisis. "Where has the time-a gone?"
"Top of the morning, Luigi!" greeted a certain elderly Toad, as Toadsworth entered the master bedroom with his cane. Luigi hadn't spoken to Toadsworth ever since Mario's wedding day. "Hope you're doing well on your sixth anniversary."
"Oh yeah, Toadsworth stopped by very early this morning," Daisy explained to Luigi, as Toadsworth pulled out a gift from his imaginary pocket. "Said he wanted to give us an anniversary gift."
Toadsworth: Pains me to say this, but Luigi and Daisy have left me in a bad mood ever since they got married. Those two have never contacted me since! At least Peach checks in every now and then. But with Luigi, I never get to hear about his wonderful children or his wonderful pets, or that ninja lady that wouldn't stop pestering me about my mustache...
"Daisy, that weird old Toad creep was bothering Deanna just now," Yuffie shouted to the princess from afar, only to show up at the master bedroom seconds later. She saw Toadsworth standing near the door. "Oh, there he is!"
"Weird old Toad creep?" frowned an offended Toadsworth, wishing that he had some of his young man strength so he could throw it down with Yuffie. "Well, I never heard such blasphemy..."
"Don't listen-a to Yuffie - she's just a greedy womanchild," Luigi assured Toadsworth, as Yuffie frowned at the green plumber with her hands on her hips. "Eating our stuff-a is all she's good for."
"And leaving sushi roll paper on the floor," added Daisy, who was growing tired of having to clean after the ninja pals. "Those ninjas should find a new base of operations if they keep that up."
"You keep ninjas under your roof?" Toadsworth asked Luigi and Daisy, holding his cane tightly and shivering in fear as he looked around. "Where oh where are they hiding?"
"No, Toadsworth, we have-a no other ninjas here!" replied Luigi, as Toadsworth manned up and quelled his fear... "Not for today, at least." ...only for Toadsworth to immediately tense up afterward. "Why don't we open-a that present?"
"Yes, yes, of course! I'll have you and Daisy know that I put a lot of thought and care into putting this anniversary present together. Why don't we open it together in your living room?"
So Toadsworth led Luigi, Daisy, and Yuffie down to the living room, where Toadsworth wanted Luigi and Daisy to open their present. But little did anyone inside that house know that an angel was spying on them from outside through an open window...an angel by the name of Pit.
"Hehe...he'll do. He'll be perfect," Pit said in a creepy manner, smiling from ear to ear as he rubbed his hands together like Montgomery Burns. Bass came outside from the mansion, groaning when he saw what Pit was up to.
"Pit, seriously? Your oatmeal is getting cold," Bass said to the angel, hating the fact that he was the guy sent out to retrieve Pit. Pit turned around at Bass, before looking back at whatever was going on in Luigi's living room. And then going back to Bass.
"Sorry Bass, I was too planning..." Pit was about to finish whatever he was going to say but held his tongue. "...actually I can't tell you. It's a secret."
"Whatever your secret is, it's probably stupid. No, scratch that...it is stupid. Now get back here so Viridi can stop her whining." So Pit followed after Bass, momentarily turning his head back as he looked at Luigi's house.
Shortly after Pit had left, Luigi stormed out of his house - and he was not in a very happy mood. Daisy and Toadsworth followed after Luigi, who was holding the present in his hands.
"Are you serious, Toadsworth? Iron and-a wood?" Luigi frowned at the elderly Toad, taking out pieces of iron and wood from the gift box and holding them up so that Toadsworth could feel ashamed. "Thought you said you put a lot of thought-a and care into our gifts."
"I did put in a lot of thought and care!" Toadsworth defended himself, as Luigi felt like throwing both gifts (if they could even be considered gifts) to the ground out of frustration. "By that, I mean online research."
"Where exactly did you research?" Daisy asked Toadsworth, as Luigi contemplated whether or not he should stuff both gifts back inside the box and throw the box against Toadsworth's head.
"Forgot the name of the website, but it had much to do with wedding rings..." And that's when Tooadsworth realized he goofed up, as he smacked his forehead feeling like a buffoon. "Should've gotten you two a ring! Silly me."
"Well, it's too late now; it looks like Luigi wants to kill you." Indeed - Luigi grabbed his overalls and ripped them open as if he was tearing off his basketball jersey. Good thing Luigi's kids weren't around to see this kind of behavior.
"Perhaps there is a way that I can cheer him up...I have prepared for you and Luigi a weekend getaway, which has been booked by yours truly!"
"A weekend getaway?" Luigi asked Toadsworth, somehow able to hear the elderly Toad during his rage fit. The green plumber sheepishly held his ripped overalls together as went over to Toadsworth.
"I have a list of superb places for you lovebirds to visit." Toadsworth whipped out a list, which had a bunch of objectives and places written down. "A spa day, a visit to your wedding venue, a trip to the comedy club..."
"So this is where most of your thought and care went into," Daisy smiled at Toadsworth, as Luigi no longer wanted to beat Toadsworth to a pulp. Luigi was in much better spirits now.
"Ooh, la la! A local nursery," Rotom gleamed as it appeared behind Luigi and Daisy, skimmed through the list. The plasma Pokemon found a couple of things that piqued its interest. "Always wanted to meet other young children, zzrt."
"...we'll just save that local nursery for last," stated Toadsworth, too reluctant to break the truth to Rotom as he put his list away. "We shall leave at your earliest convenience."
"Speaking of young-a children, who will babysit Charles and Deanna?" pondered Luigi, refusing to go anywhere unless he had full assurance that his kids would be in good hands. "Yuffie has grown-a tired from doing it all the time."
"Then why not let the ninjas who rummage through your house handle them? They can take the pressure off of Yuffie's shoulders." That was an alluring option for Luigi, only because he knew that Sheik would be home.
"Heh, you're right-a about that. Sheik will keep the kids-a in check - and the ninjas too!" Luigi was putting a lot of faith in Sheik - but was Sheik up for the task? A better question is, would she even be available?
Zelda: Link and I will be out of the mansion today; most of our work will be done with the friendly man Guile that met at the homeless shelter. Anyone who needs us for any reason today will have to wait until we're done. *pauses* Whenever that is.
Pit returned with Bass to the dining room, where everyone was having breakfast. Breakfast was the one thing that Denzel looked forward to every morning, for he got to spend time with his parental guardian, Cloud. But not every breakfast spent with Cloud had to be peachy, however.
"Cloud...why won't you have a seat at this spot I reserved for you and Denzel?" Sephiroth asked Cloud, who along with Denzel went into the kitchen to grab some seconds. There were two empty chairs next to Sephiroth.
"We're not stupid, we know what tricks you're trying to pull," Cloud replied to Sephiroth, who was smirking sinisterly; Cloud led Denzel to their original seats, as Sephiroth watched the swordsman's every moment.
"Mr. Sephiroth sir, can we please have our seats back?" Paula asked the one-winged angel, as she and Poo were standing by. Sephiroth was barely listening - as if he was in a different world. "Sephiroth?"
"My plan didn't work...maybe next time," said Sephiroth, admitting defeat as he took out his Masamune and placed it on the two empty chairs. Paula and Poo were both beside themselves.
"Back to eating in the living room, I guess..." sighed Poo, as he and Paula went to the living room to enjoy their breakfast there. As Paula and Poo left, Pyra and Myhtra approached Denzel with a plate of breakfast rolls.
"Hey, Denzel! Care for a breakfast roll?" Pyra asked the boy, as she presented the breakfast rolls to him. Although the rolls looked appetizing to him, Denzel had to know for sure that the rolls were of good quality.
"Which one of you made them?" Denzel asked the Blades; Mythra kept her lips pursed, as Pyra nervously looked at Mythra and slowly raised her hand. "I'll have a breakfast roll, please."
"I'll have one too," said Cloud, as Pyra gave both the swordsman and Denzel a breakfast roll. Mythra couldn't believe the sheer irreverence playing out in front of her, and wanted to redeem herself.
"Would you have taken a breakfast roll if I was the one who made it?" Mythra asked Denzel, as she was desperately seeking any form of validation that she could find. "You think my cooking is good, right Denzel?"
"Cloud once told me that it's not nice to lie to others," replied Denzel, rustling a few feathers as he had Mythra glaring intensely at him. Mythra looked like she wanted to sucker punch Denzel in the face.
"Relax, Mythra...you did promise that you would go easy on the kids!" Pyra said to a still glaring Mythra, taking the plate of breakfast rolls with her as she escorted Mythra out of the dining room. Denzel was unfazed by Mythra, as he ate his breakfast roll in peace.
"Who knew that Mythra such a thin-a skin," remarked a certain plumber, as Cloud was startled to see Mario sitting right next to him. Almost as if Mario had just appeared in his seat.
"Mario? How long have you been sitting there?" Cloud asked Mario as he looked around, having no clue when Mario came inside the dining room. Mario sneaked under everyone's noses...or maybe just Cloud's.
"Ever since-a breakfast began. I was waiting for you to notice-a me...but not in a senpai way." Mario flinched in anticipation, fearing that Cloud would snap on him...but Cloud chose to hold his tongue.
Cloud: I find it somewhat admirable, if not creepy, that Mario wants to learn how to be a better dad by following in my steps. Though to be honest, I find it more creepy than anything. Did Barret's fatherly seminar not teach Mario a thing? Was he even paying attention?
"So Cloud, what's-a on the agenda for today?" Mario asked the swordsman, anxious to get started as he scarfed down his pancakes. The plumber was so excited that he was hardly showing any table manners.
"First thing to do is to stop eating like a pig," replied Cloud, as Mario stopped devouring his pancakes and saw the mess that he was making. Pancake bits and syrup were all over the table. "Wouldn't eat like that in front of a baby, would you?"
"Yes, I would...in most circumstances. Specifically if Peach isn't home." Mario ate his pancakes at a normal pace, being forced to quell his excitement if it meant satisfying Cloud.
"We can get started after breakfast. Before we begin, though, we would first have to eliminate any and all...distractions." One distraction that Cloud wished to nip in the bud was Sephiroth, who was smiling at Cloud menacingly.
"Like who, what? Sephiroth?" Mario noticed that Cloud was embroiled in a staredown with Sephiroth, and failed to see what the big deal was. "Are you worried that Sephiroth's handsome-a face will distract you?"
"It's not such much as that, it's just that I'm..." Cloud paused, then frowned, and broke away from Sephiroth as he gave Mario a questionable look. "...did you just call Sephiroth 'handsome?'"
"Just because he's your rival doesn't mean-a you can't acknowledge his good looks. Wear some glasses, Cloud." Mario patted Cloud on his back as a little bit of encouragement, but that only made Cloud feel bothered.
"Where the heck is Falco?" questioned Alph, as he saw that Falco was strangely missing from the breakfast table. Usually, that was a sign that he forced his way into Fox's home. "He promised to give me Mythra's hashbrowns...only because he can't handle how good they are!"
"That's what I thought," remarked Mythra, who was peeking through the dining room entrance ready to throw down. Alph, who saw Mythra from the corner of his eye, was shivering slightly in fear.
Falco wasn't the only resident missing during breakfast that morning; Byleth was absent as well, for the professor was in the buddy cops' police station. There, she was being interrogated by Toon Link and Young Link for "suspicious activity" she had done after midnight.
"Where were you between the hours of twelve and three?" Toon Link interrogated Byleth, as he grabbed a lamp and shone the light on Byleth. Byleth was hardly blinded by the light, much to the buddy cops' chagrin.
"I was getting a midnight snack...from the freezer," replied Byleth, who had snuck into the freezer to get herself some chocolate ice cream. "Did Geno find me in the kitchen?"
"He was the one who gave us the tip," stated Young Link; Byleth hoped to speak with Geno later today, for making her miss this morning's breakfast. "But we must ask you, professor...why ice cream?"
"Because I was hungry...? Also didn't feel like ordering out - I could never work a cellphone." Those all sounded like excuses to the buddy cops, who nonetheless recorded Byleth's testimony on paper.
"Very likely story. But why did you go to bed on an empty stomach, Byleth?" To the buddy cops, that alone was ticket-worthy.
"Did you know that going to bed on an empty stomach can affect your sleep?" Toon Link asked Byleth, speaking as if he had just checked WebMD.
"Make you dizzy?"
"Give you headaches?"
"Cause hallucinations?"
"Hutch, Byleth has an invisible green-haired girl as her best friend...hallucinations are normal for her. Totally not a side-effect, in her case."
"Can I please leave now?" asked Byleth, who was already dying to leave as she arose from her seat. She must be crazy if the buddy cops would let her leave during the interrogation that easily.
"Hello! Toon Link and Young Link! It's Lavenza," Lavenza called out to the buddy cops from outside, as she was knocking on the door. Forced to put the interrogation on pause, Toon Link groaned as he answered the door.
"Look, we're in the middle of something here, so beat it," Toon Link said to Lavenza, who peeked around the Hylian and saw Byleth trying to make her escape. Young Link wasn't paying any attention to Byleth, making it easier for the professor.
"I believe that she's trying to get away." Lavenza pointed at Byleth, who immediately sat back down in her chair when Lavenza pointed at her. The buddy cops turned around at Byleth, who was sitting at the table smiling sweetly.
"Nice try, Lavenza, but Hutch and I don't fall for those kinds of tricks. Except that we kinda did, but only in this instance just to make you look foolish."
"On the contrary..." stated Byleth, only to put her hands up in innocence when Young Link pointed his bow and arrow at her. "...I stand corrected."
"Do any of you two know a homeless man by the name of Earnest?" Lavenza asked the buddy cops, as the name Earnest brought back a few memories to Young Link as the Hylian lowered his guard on Byleth.
"I met him at a jungle - or at least a wack version of one," stated Young Link as he put his bow away, fearing that he might have to make another stop at Interstate 5. "Was he implicated in actually killing someone this time?"
No, Earnest wasn't getting in trouble for killing another man...in fact, the homeless veteran was at a gas station. He was taken to this gas station by Fox and Falco, as he had a lottery ticket in his possession. Given to him by Fox and Falco themselves.
"Am I doing this right?" Earnest asked Fox and Falco, as he was standing at the counter handing the gas station clerk a lottery ticket. Fox gave Earnest a thumbs up.
"Can you please not record the guy?" Fox quietly asked Falco, who was recording Earnest handing the clerk his lottery ticket on his phone. "This isn't a vanity project, you know."
"But there are cameramen..." responded Falco as he was about to bring Fox's attention to the documentary crew cameraman standing around, only to later hold his breath as he put his phone away.
Fox: We had to get that lottery ticket for my man, Earnest. I have no clue if the ticket is a winning one, but the way that things are going, I can only assume that it is.
"Congratulations, sir...you have just won the jackpot," the gas station clerk happily announced to Earnest, who reacted by cupping his hands over his mouth. "Fifty thousand dollars is all yours!"
"F-F-Fifty thousand dollars?" stammered Earnest, hoping that the clerk wasn't making up the number just to play with his emotions. A tear was running down Earnest's face. "You have got to be joking..."
"Nope! This is the real deal. You got the winning numbers." The gas station clerk showed Earnest the numbers he had scratched off, as Earnest was on the verge of fainting out of excitement.
Gas Station Clerk: That lottery ticket belonged to someone else, believe it or not. The word on the street is that it went to a 29-year-old single man who spends his parents' money on Fortnite skins and anime pillows. I'd say that the pilots were completely in the right to mug that guy and take his lottery ticket from him.
"Somebody pinch me, I must be dreaming!" said Earnest, holding onto the counter for dear life to prevent himself from falling. Fox and Falco were doing their best to hold unto Earnest, as the gas station clerk was pulling out wads of cash.
"Here you are, good sir - fifty thousand fat ones!" the clerk said to Earnest as he dropped the cash on the counter in front of Earnest. Earnest definitely felt like fainting now, as a man and woman standing in line behind Earnest both felt some type of way.
"I didn't know they just give you the money like that," the woman said to the man, who was looking at a scratched-out lottery ticket in his hand frowning. The man tossed his ticket down to the floor as he stormed out of the convenience store.
Gas Station Clerk: Half of the fifty thousand dollars isn't from the lottery - that's literally all the money that this gas station has raised in the past few months. Those Hylians better pay up real soon...
"Fifty thousand dollars...bet you must be living on cloud nine right now," Fox said to Earnest, who was so happy that he could just kiss Fox and Falco. And both pilots wouldn't mind, at least in this situation.
"You could buy yourself thousands of Travis Scott meals with that much moolah," added Falco, as Fox leaned in close to the avian pilot and whispered something into his ear. "Uh, I mean the BTS meal! Is that even still around?"
"Travis meal, BTS meal, I don't care...'cause I'm living large!" exclaimed Earnest, throwing his arms into the air. The homeless veteran let out a squeal of joy, as Fox heard his phone ringing. Guile was calling him.
"Sup Guile," Fox answered the phone, walking away for a brief moment as Earnest gave Falco a hug. As much as he appreciated the hug, Falco tried to push Earnest away from him due to his constricting arms.
"Did he hand in that winning lottery ticket?" asked Guile, who had witnessed Fox and Falco beat up the man who had the winning ticket in the first place. Joined in on the action, even. "Did he receive a thousand dollars?"
"Got a thousand dollars...times five!" Fox looked back at Earnest, who was squeezing Falco real tight as he held him high up in the air. "In case you can't hear, the man is very excited."
"Put me down, I have a fear of heights!" Falco barked at Earnest, doing anything possible to have the homeless veteran keep his hands off of him. "Ignore that I'm a bird."
Moments after they were done eating breakfast, Sonic and Tails were ready to head outside to have a little fun in the Seattle sun. And with no Lavenza around, Sonic felt as if he had a giant leash off of him for the time being.
"Humiliskate or dodgeball?" Sonic asked Tails, as he and the yellow fox were about to exit through the front door. "The choice is yours, buddy."
"The one where I don't end up in that much pain," replied Tails, who never attempted humiliskating before but has seen Sonic do it on multiple occasions. With Knuckles as his board. The screams of pain and agony from Knuckles were still ringing in Tails' ears.
"Then dodgeball it is!" Sonic opened the front door and led Tails down the porch...where he saw Lavenza speaking with Link, Zelda, and Guile, who was still on the phone with Fox. "Uh oh..."
"Feel free to cruise Earnest around town until the house is ready," Guile spoke into the phone, while Sonic contemplated whether he and Tails should head back inside or not. "Okay then, take care."
"So you really think that Sonic is up to the task?" Link asked Lavenza, holding a finger underneath his chin as Guile ended his phone call with Fox and put his phone away. "If you say so..."
"Up to what task?" questioned Sonic as he and Tails went over to speak with Link and company. Unless the task involved humiliating Dr. Eggman, Sonic refused to do a thing. "What's going on?"
"We need someone to buy some essentials for a homeless veteran we're moving in," Zelda explained the situation to Sonic, who gave Lavenza a side-eye. "And Lavenza thinks that you're the right man for the job."
"For better and for worse..." Link muttered under his breath, as Zelda frowned and pinched the Hylian's ear. Link yelped in pain. "...meant that as a joke!"
"But why me? I don't know the man personally," stated Sonic, who had only heard stories about Earnest - including the few false testimonies that were made against him.
"You don't know the people in Texas personally, yet that didn't stop you from donating to the mansion's relief fund," Tails said to Sonic, reminding the blue hedgehog of the Hurricane Harvey relief fund Master Hand started in 2017.
"Yeah, but that was for a good cause. I'm only being forced to do this because of, um, uh, um..." Sonic's mind was drawing a blank, as Tails looked on with an amused smile.
"...for a good cause," Zelda would finish for Sonic, who had nothing to argue against the princess with. "What do you have to lose, Sonic?"
Master Hand: After Hurricane Harvey hit, I started up a relief fund, so that the residents could give their money and do something actually meaningful for once in their lives. To my surprise, Sonic made a small contribution...it was only two dollars, but you know, put your money where your mouth is. Must've been Sonic's way of saying that he was dirt poor at the time.
"Nothing, I guess," replied Sonic, as Zelda left him with no choice but to do some shopping for Earnest. A man that he has never met before. "But I won't be shopping alone..."
"Whoever said that you should be doing it alone?" Tails asked Sonic as he placed his hand on his friend's shoulder, always willing to help. He was also worried about what kind of stuff Sonic would even buy.
"Ha, I can always depend on you, Tails! And Knuckles, most of the time. We should go see if he and the Crash clan are down for shopping."
"And Amy Rose as well?" Lavenza asked Sonic, believing that Sonic and Amy would be unstoppable if they went out shopping together. But Sonic, knowing from experience, thought otherwise.
"If this Earnest guy only wanted hair and beauty products, then sure...also, Amy shops for herself way too often. Too much of a risk."
Luigi and Daisy were ready to embark on Toadsworth's wedding anniversary tour but first, they had to see if the ninja pals were available for babysitting their kids. Toadsworth followed Luigi to the mansion, where he spoke with Asuka and Greninja at Cafe Leblanc.
"Sheik...I mean, Princess Zelda...will be out for much of the day," Asuka shared this info with Luigi, having been told by Zelda about the plan to find Earnest a forever home. "And Yuffie isn't the best at supervision..."
"Trust-a me, I know," replied Luigi, speaking from first-hand experience, as Greninja spotted Ninjara trying to sneak past the cafe without being caught. "Looks like I'll have to put-a my children's lives in danger yet again..."
"Greninja!" Greninja alerted Asuka, as he pointed at Ninjara who was just outside the cafe. Upon being spotted, Ninjara dashed away, as an imaginary light bulb dinged above Asuka's head.
"Actually, Luigi, I know a babysitter who's better than all of us ninja pals combined," Asuka said to the green plumber, as she and Greninja ran out of the cafe. "Ninjara, come back!"
"Ninjara? Is he a 'ninja pal' as well?" Toadsworth asked Luigi, wondering why Ninjara was acting so funny after Greninja and Asuka saw him. Pit inched closer towards Toadsworth, making his move while Joker wasn't looking.
"It's...complicated," replied Luigi, smiling gingerly while scratching the back of his neck. Toadsworth failed to notice Pit sneaking on him, but he would notice soon when he heard Pit's loud breathing.
"My word! Why must you be such a mouth-breather?" frowned Toadsworth as he turned around at Pit, only to soften when he recognized the angel. "Pit, my boy! How do you do?"
"Hey Toadsworth, I'm doing fine," replied Pit, who loosened up a bit before proudly showing off his cafe apron to Toadsworth. "Check it out - I'm a cafe barista now! So cool!"
"Am I your boy, Toadsworth?" Yoshi asked the elderly Toad from the counter, wanting to be appreciated. Toadsworth just stared blankly at Yoshi, as his deafening silence left the green dinosaur in shambles.
Yoshi: Toadsworth won't call me his boy... *sighs* ...you'd think that since you're the guy responsible for keeping Mario alive as a baby, everyone would give you credit for it. That being said, how old even am I? Was I even the Yoshi that babysat Mario all those years ago? Just how many of us are there?!
"Nice to see you catching up with an old friend of yours," Joker said to Pit, as he finally looked up from his phone. Can't fault him for taking a phone break. "Now can you get back to your job, Pit?"
"Shut up, Joker! I'm having a word with a future wedding officiant," Pit frowned at the young man, as the words "future wedding officiant" brought much intrigue to Toadsworth...and much worry to Kirby.
"Future wedding officiant? Oh, ho ho!" exclaimed Toadsworth, who had dreamt of officiating a wedding. Peach's wedding, to be specific. Too bad Xander beat him to the punch. "Whose wedding will I be officiating?"
"Kirby and Adeleine's wedding." Kirby's worries were confirmed, as the pink puffball ducked under the counter in shame. Pit expected Toadsworth to be on board, but Toadsworth was showing restraint.
"Kirby and Adeleine, is that a legitimate couple? Sounds more illegitimate than not to me." Toadsworth made Pit gasp, expressing the kind of opinion that Pit did not wish to hear. Especially from a future wedding officiant.
"Ugh! What is it with everyone hating on a potential Kirby-Adeleine relationship? I bet you're one of those nature and biology freaks, aren't you?"
"Alright Luigi, we have found your babysitter!" Asuka announced to the green plumber, as she and Greninja came down the hallway with Ninjara. Ninjara, as usual, looked completely done with life with the ninja pals holding on to him.
"What a fine-a choice!" gleamed Luigi, as Asuka and Greninja brought Ninjara to the cafe; Ninjara was glaring at Luigi intensely. "How nice-a of you to volunteer yourself, Ninjara."
"I didn't volunteer, I was forced into this," stated Ninjara, breaking free from Asuka and Greninja's grasp. "How long do I have to watch over your stupid children...and pets?"
"How long-a will we be out and about, Toadsworth?" asked Luigi, as Toadsworth would ultimately decide how long Luigi and Daisy would spend their anniversary together. Ninjara was hoping for only an hour, at the least.
"I'd say about until six or so," replied Toadsworth, as Ninjara now felt like strangling the elderly Toad with his wooden cane. He was that open to elderly abuse - only when it was necessary. "Depending on the locale, we might come back home even later than that."
"Better be six o'clock or else..." Ninjara said to Toadsworth in a threatening tone, letting him know what kind of consequences would happen. Toadsworth was stricken with fear, holding unto his cane as comfort.
"...how about we get going, Luigi? Can't keep Princess Daisy waiting!" So Toadsworth and Luigi left the cafe, with Toadsworth gradually picking up the pace only to keep himself away from Ninjara. Ninjara stood where he was, sighing deeply.
"Toadsworth, wait up!" Pit called after the elderly Toad as he raced down the hallway, refusing to let Toadsworth out of his sight. "There's so much we can discuss concerning Kirby's wedding!"
"Pit get back here!" Joker shouted at the angel, only to let out a defeated sigh upon realizing that all hope was lost. "I should really invest in an ankle collar to put on him."
"I hate you guys so much right now," the ninja said to Asuka and Greninja; the hatred he held for both ninjas simply couldn't be overstated.
"Love ya too, Ninjara! Ciao!" responded Asuka, blowing a kiss to Ninjara before she and Greninja vanished via smoke bombs. Ninjara was gonna have his work cut out for him, all by himself.
Mario accompanied Cloud and Denzel to the gardens, where he expected Cloud to do some super awesome father things. In actuality, though, Cloud brought Denzel to the gardens just so he could hang out with Marlene.
"So when does the fun-a stuff begin?" Mario asked Cloud, eagerly waiting to see a side of Cloud that nobody had ever seen before. Why does the plumber expect so much from Cloud?
"What fun stuff? Denzel asked me if we could go to the gardens," replied Cloud, chilling as he watched Denzel and Marlene chatting among themselves and just enjoying each other's company.
"You let Denzel boss-a you around?" Mario looked at Cloud in awe, as Denzel and Marlene stopped their conversation and came over to speak with Cloud.
"Cloud, you wanna help us plant a couple of flowers?" Denzel asked the swordsman, who looked up ahead and saw a bunch of flower pots lying about. "If you don't mind."
"Aerith would do it, but she's busy giving Piranha Plant and Petey Piranha their 'lunch,'" stated Marlene, as she looked back and saw Aerith feeding the Piranha Plant and Petey Piranha plant fertilizer.
"They're apparently too lazy to feed themselves," Aerith said to Cloud, as Petey Piranha was lying on his back with Aerith pouring fertilizer into his mouth. Petey was enjoying every second of it.
Petey Piranha: *belches, smiles as he pats his stomach*
Ryu: *walks past Petey, only to stop and sniff the air* Is that...plant breath?
"Sure, let's get started," Cloud said to Denzel and Marlene as he followed the two kids to the flower pots. Mario followed after Cloud, still in awe.
"Wow, Cloud, I'm surprised!" Mario said to the swordsman, who got down on one knee as he grabbed a small shovel and started digging. "Any other time-a you would've said no."
"Word of the wise, Mario...sometimes you gotta do what your kid wants to do. Listen first, talk second. It's all about making sacrifices."
"Do as they say, and also as they do. Think-a I got it now. Seems easier said-a than done."
"Way to miss the point, but yeah, that's what it's all about. Gotta do stuff even if you don't feel like it."
Unlike the Crash clan's house, which was built from the ground up, Earnest's house would be purchased from the market. Link and Zelda (and Guile, to an extent) entrusted the Happy Home Designers to find an available house for Earnest to stay in. One of the members and Isabelle's twin brother, Digby, came through as he found a house in a small neighborhood.
"A one-story house with a master bedroom and a guest bedroom, no biggie," Digby said to Link, Zelda, and Guile as he stood in front of the house in question. With his dapper red suit, no less. "Also comes with a fountain in the backyard."
"What kind of fountain are we talking about here?" Link asked Digby, hoping that the fountain in question wasn't anything too out of the ordinary. Digby's nervous face seemed to suggest otherwise.
"...it may or may not be a chocolate fountain." As Digby feared, both the Hylians reacted negatively, with Link groaning and Zelda pinching the crown of her nose. Guile couldn't bring himself to give any sort of reaction.
Mario: Link and Zelda wouldn't let me the bandicoots-a have a bowling alley in their own-a house, so I had to come-a through somehow for this Earnest fellow. Digby was a very easy person to sweet-a talk to.
"What's this?" shouted a certain Hylian, as Digby and company saw that they were joined by Mutoh and the Carpenters. And Mutoh was not a happy camper. "I thought you guys needed a new house built!"
"We never said that we needed to build a new house..." stated Link, wondering where Mutoh got this bit of false information from. Mutoh mentally slapped himself, disgusted that he looked like a fool to Link and Zelda.
"Dang it, Ichiro! You've fooled me yet again." Mutoh turned his frustrations to Ichiro, whom he blamed for every little thing. A plumbing error, an upset stomach, or even getting rejected by a woman - Mutoh blamed Ichiro for all those things, and then some.
"I didn't know they were just buying a house, boss," Ichiro expressed his innocence to Mutoh, wondering where in his life he goofed up to ultimately become Mutoh's butt monkey. "This is all new to me."
"Quit trying to cover for your behind!" Mutoh smacked Ichiro in the face, before hitting the Carpenter aggressively with his hand. The other Carpenters tried to restrain Mutoh, as Ichiro ran for his life.
"...well, that just happened," remarked Digby, watching as Mutoh chased after Ichiro with the Carpenters still on him. A big guy like Mutoh couldn't be dragged down so easily. "You guys wanna take a look inside the house?"
"Eh, why not," responded Zelda, wanting to take a look for herself as she and the others followed after Digby. "It'll look a bit nicer in there once Sonic is all finished with the shopping."
By no means did Sonic wish to shop by himself - it was a task too daunting for a guy like him. Fortunately for him, he had his friends to make his job easier, with Tails, Knuckles, and the Crash clan agreeing to shop with him. The friends were at a Walmart superstore, with Lavenza bringing a shopping list of items that Earnest might need.
"You really think he'll want a flatscreen TV?" Sonic asked Knuckles, who was in the electronics section trying to fit a flatscreen television into a shopping cart. "A guy named Earnest must be old-fashioned, don't ya think?"
"This will get him into the 21st century," stated Knuckles, who was having trouble getting the television to fit inside the shopping cart. A Walmart employee approached Knuckles, who knew what the employee wanted. "Go away! You're only good for embarrassing me in public."
"Just wanted to let you know that I can see the X-rated movies stuffed in your pockets," the Walmart employee informed Knuckles, who had a bunch of DVDs tucked away in his imaginary pockets. "Trying to get away with shoplifting?"
"Well, who's more in the wrong? The guy who wants to shoplift these X-rated movies...or the man who lets said movies be on display in the first place?" Knuckles believed that he owned the Walmart employee, and was interested in hearing the young woman's response.
"SECURITY!" Upon the Walmart employee's shout, a bunch of Walmart security guards showed up at the electronics section. The employee pointed at Knuckles, who was soon apprehended by the security guards.
"Tell my story!" Knuckles shouted to Sonic, the DVDs being taken out of his pockets as the security guards took him away to the back. Sonic was hardly fazed by Knuckles' plight.
"Goodbye Knuckles, take care!" Sonic nonchalantly waved to his red echidna friend, sensing that another jail sentence for Knuckles was over on the horizon. "Sure am gonna miss that guy."
Luigi and Daisy were out on their little "anniversary tour", which was led by Toadsworth. Toadsworth took the married couple to Olympic Sculpture Park, which was the very spot where Luigi and Daisy got married.
"Olympic Sculpture Park...still as beautiful as I remember it," remarked Toadsworth, letting out a happy sigh as he surveyed the park. Oddly enough, the elderly Toad felt like he was back at home.
"Soooo why are we at our old wedding venue again?" asked Daisy, who was anxious to get to a spa; a spa day was one of the items that Toadsworth had written down on his list.
"You know, for the memories! For the sentimental value." Unfortunately for Toadsworth, neither Luigi nor Daisy felt any kind of sentimental value from being at Olympic Sculpture Park. Recalled a few wedding memories, but that was about it.
"So basically we had no reason to come-a here," stated Luigi, before squinting his eyes when he saw a certain angel lying on the ground up ahead. "Is that you, Pit?"
"Um, no, not at all!" replied Pit as he sprung up to his feet after being noticed. That grass was apparently the best hiding spot he could find. "For I am Pit's forgotten twin brother...Pit-Three!"
"...let's just go," Daisy said to Luigi and Toadsworth, desiring to keep her distance from Pit as she and the others left the premises. Pit remained where he was, having second doubts about the Pit-Three moniker.
"Come to think of it, Pit-Zero sounds like an even cooler twin name..." By the time he looked up, Pit saw that Daisy and company were already leaving - and he couldn't let them out of his sight. "Wait up, you guys!"
Link, Zelda, and Guile were in Earnest's new house, where Digby had shown them around and all that jazz. Once the house tour was over with, Digby treated his guest to some light snacks, courtesy of a turkey acquaintance named Franklin.
"I don't always cook out like this," Franklin said to Link and company, treating them to some turkey bites in the living room. Fortunately, there was already basic furniture for everyone to sit on. "Usually I reserve my cooking for Turkey Day."
"Thanksgiving, you mean," Guile tried to correct Franklin, inadvertently sparking some tension as Franklin found himself staring down at the major. "That is what any able-minded person calls it."
"Well, from where I'm from, it's called Turkey Day." Franklin was marching over to Guile, with Digby contemplating intervention. "And you wanna know why they call it Turkey Day?"
"Because it's the only day where your kind gets consumed?" Guile cut in deep into Franklin, who had a thousand-yard look of fear on his face as he nearly dropped his tray of turkey bites unto the floor.
"Excuse me for a moment, I have to...reflect on some things." Still looking fear-stricken out of his mind, Franklin placed the tray of turkey bites on the living room table as he went into the kitchen. Almost walking like a zombie.
Franklin: *catches his breath* Whew, that was quite the experience! Just got flashbacks of that mayor wanting the villagers to eat me at their Turkey Day dinner. Me, of all people! I was invited to my own funeral! Very little did I know that I was brought into a town of borderline cannibals.
"Your phone is ringing," Zelda alerted Guile, who heard his phone ringing; Guile saw that Fox was calling him, as he answered the call.
"Hello McCloud, Fox speaking," Guile spoke into the phone, while Digby left the living room to see how Franklin was handling himself. "How is it coming along with Earnest?"
"Going great so far, no problems," answered Fox, giving Guile the full confidence that everything was going well so far. "We've been trying to not let Earnest spend too much of his lottery money."
"Tell him to invest his money into a savings account, if he has one. Given how long he has been homeless, you might have to..."
"Sorry Guile, I gotta go - Falco is going ham on a restaurant kiosk. Catch up on the flip!" So Fox ended the call, and Guile let out a defeated groan as he put his phone away.
"Guile, I've been meaning to ask you - what would you do if you ever won the lottery?" Link asked Guile, who didn't have to think long and hard about his answer. It was an answer that he was prepared to give since birth.
"I wake up in the greatest country in the world - or one of the greatest," replied Guile, slightly alarming Link with how unabashedly pro-America he was. "That's pretty much like winning the lottery every day."
"Thought you said that being a 'free' American was equivalent to winning the lottery," Zelda said to Guile, who shook his head at the princess's profound ignorance. Guile just knew that Zelda didn't get it.
"Literally the same concept, Princess Zelda...a non-American like you could never understand." Guile took out a comb and combed his hair, while Zelda looked down the floor, with pursed lips.
Why was Falco going ham on a restaurant kiosk? Apparently, it was because the kiosk wouldn't accept the avian pilot's credit card. Falco was throwing punches at the kiosk at a Chick-Fil-A (not exactly the kind of food joint you'd want to lose your temper at), while those inside the restaurant were looking on.
"Stupid, stupid, STUPID!" growled Falco as he punched the kiosk screen, refusing to let up until the screen was broken into a million pieces. Fox and Earnest were both watching, the latter standing at a cash register.
"...I would like some honey mustard please," Earnest said sheepishly to the lady at the cash register, handing her a couple of dollars as he placed his order. Falco was really making the homeless veteran feel embarrassed.
"Take it easy, man!" Fox shouted at Falco, grabbing the avian pilot's arms as he held his best friend back from the kiosk. "It's not the kiosk's fault that it won't take your card."
"Maybe this kiosk is discriminating against me," assumed Falco, playing the victim card but only just for this instance. He believed that the kiosk hated birds, for whatever reason. "Or maybe someone isn't doing their job!"
"He's not talking about us, is he?" a Chick-Fil-A worker in the back asked a co-worker of his, as he was feeling some type of way. Falco soon pulled out his Blaster and started firing away at the kiosk.
"'My pleasure, huh? How's this for pleasure?!" Falco was unleashing his frustrations on the kiosk, as the lady at the cash register handed Earnest his order so that she could call her manager.
"Here is your meal sir, have a good day!" the lady said to Earnest as she handed him his meal, before heading into the back and shouting, "DOUG!"
"Yes?" asked the manager, Doug, as he showed up and saw the senseless violence that Falco was carrying out on the kiosk. Doug ran over to Falco in a hurry. "Sir, that is a defamation of public property!"
"I just wanted some chicken nuggets, man..." Falco said to Doug, who along with a few Chick-Fil-A employees had to restrain Falco. Fox looked on, while Earnest joined the pilot.
"Isn't he a bird?" Earnest asked Fox, who as always suffered from extreme embarrassment whenever Falco acted out in public. "Wouldn't it be weird for him to eat any kind of chicken?"
"We choose not to talk about that kind of stuff..." replied Fox, watching as Doug and his workers brought Falco away from the kiosk. It was a hard effort, but they managed to get the job done.
Sonic continued his shopping at Walmart, as he was in the beauty section of the store. He was looking for some deodorant for Earnest, and it was all about finding the right one.
"Let's see if this one will do the trick!" said Sonic as he grabbed an Old Spice deodorant, took the cap off, and rubbed it under his armpit. The blue hedgehog then did a sniff test and was not pleased. "Eh, could be better."
"Are you gonna buy that?" a Walmart employee asked Sonic, standing in the aisle with his arms folded. He had been bothering Sonic nonstop, and he was getting on Sonic's nerves.
"How many times you're gonna bother me with that same question?" Sonic let out a groan as he put the cap back on and tossed the deodorant into the shopping cart...which had a bunch of other deodorants inside.
Sonic: Thanks to that annoying employee, I'm now stuck with a second shopping cart, and it's full of deodorant. Like, how else am I supposed to know which deodorant works best?
"My goodness..." said Lavenza as she came around the corner, and saw the shopping cart full of deodorant. Sonic had some explaining to do. "...we ought to donate all that deodorant to a food bank."
"People actually eat deodorant?" grimaced Sonic, finding himself disgusted while at the same time questioning humanity itself. "Do they lick it like how they would do a lollipop?"
"If you ask me, this face lotion probably works the best," said Coco, as Sonic heard the blonde bandicoot's voice from nearby. Sonic went to the other side of the aisle...and saw Coco speaking with Tails, a bottle of skin lotion in hand.
"That's good to know," replied Tails as he took the face lotion from Coco, inspecting it as Sonic furrowed his brow. "The last lotion I used caused my skin to break out."
"Some shopping you two are doing!" Sonic called out to Tails and Coco, who both tried to look innocent as Sonic caught them red-handed. Tails quickly put the face lotion back on the shelf.
"Uh, thanks for the reminder Sonic!" Tails hurried out of the beauty section, grabbing Coco's hand as he and Coco made a run for it. Sonic was skeptical.
"Can't believe Coco is hurting Tails' masculinity by showing him skin care products. Or maybe...those two are secretly seeing each other!
The next stop on Luigi and Daisy's anniversary tour was going to the local nursery, which Toadsworth originally planned to save for last. Luigi hoped to meet little children at this local nursery, so you could only imagine how disappointed he was when he only saw plants and flowers.
"Where are they hiding the little children?" wondered Luigi as he took a stroll through the local nursery, while Daisy silently laughed in amusement. Pit was at the nursery, keeping a close eye on Luigi and company.
"Keep talking like that, and you'll have someone think that you're a pedophile," Daisy responded to Luigi, as Pit was on the move; Pit, not seeing where he was going, ran into a customer by accident.
"Whoops! Sorry, ma'am," Pit apologized to the customer, as he nearly knocked the flowers out of her hands. The color of the flowers quickly allured the angel. "How much are those flowers worth?"
"You mean these tulips? They're worth about $18," the customer replied, as Pit took out his wallet and checked to see if he had any dollar bills inside. "Why do you ask?"
"Oh, nothing, it's just that my friend is going to be married soon. Or at least I hope he's going to be married soon. If not, then we're gonna have some..."
"Pit? Seriously?" Daisy called out to the angel, her attention having been drawn to him after overhearing the wedding talk. "Why are you stalking us?"
"Lemme know when the tulips go on sale!" Pit said to the customer, making his getaway escape as he ran out of the local nursery while the customer looked understandably perplexed. Pit ran into a worker as he ran out of the entrance, causing him to drop a bag of garden soil unto his feet.
"That Pit sure is the persistent one," Toadsworth said to Luigi and Daisy, as the worker whom Pit ran into screamed in pain. The bag of garden soil must be heavier than it looked.
After helping Denzel plant a few flowers in the gardens, Cloud took the boy outside for a nice little stroll around the block. Mario was tagging along, expecting Cloud to lead Denzel to somewhere exciting.
"In case you're wondering, this is what Denzel wanted to do," Cloud informed Mario, as he had to temper the plumber's expectations. Even he wondered why Mario held him in such high regard. "We're not going to a fun park or anything like that."
"Do as they say, and also as they do..." Mario said quietly, as he spent much of his walk reiterating those same words. And Cloud had grown tired of it.
Cloud: Based on how it's going so far, I can't tell if Mario is a fast learner or a slow learner. But all that matters is if he puts what I tell him into practice. Chances of that are currently slim to none...
During the stroll, Cloud and company came across Kamui, who was sitting on a bench with Kana and Silas. With Felicia doing her usual maid duties, Corrin entrusted Kamui to spend time with Kana, to atone for Felicia's absence.
"Sorry to hear that about Sparkles," Silas said to Kamui, who had filled her boyfriend in on Sparkles while Kana was busy looking at the clouds in the sky. "Poor cat must not have lasted that long..."
"Corrin fed her oatmeal raisin cookies 'dessert'; she never stood a chance," stated Kamui, who frankly saw Sparkles' death coming from a mile away. She knew that the cat was sickly, whereas Corrin was oblivious to the fact.
"That cloud up there looks like Sparkles," Kana said to Kamui and Silas as she pointed at the cloud in question, with Kamui and Silas both looking. "I still miss her a bunch."
"Perhaps one day I can get you a new pet cat," Silas promised to Kana, radiating some cool uncle vibes as he got Kana to smile. "Promise I won't feed them oatmeal raisin cookies."
"But papa said that Sparkles loved those cookies." As Silas gave a rather defeated grin, Mario came over to the bench with something that he wanted to get off his chest...
"Silas...I think that you would be a great-a father!" Mario shouted to the cavalier, who noticed the plumber and found himself a bit humbled. But Cloud, on the other hand, was embarrassed.
"That is very kind of you, Mario," responded Silas, having no clue what Mario was doing outside - nor why he was shouting those words of encouragement to him. Cloud eventually grabbed Mario and reeled him away.
"Was that necessary?" Cloud whispered to Mario with a frown, wishing that he had intervened in time. "You kind of humiliated me there."
"It's in my right-a to be humiliating - I am a father," Mario defended his actions, believing that he was only motivating Silas - even if Silas didn't want any at the moment.
"Well, I'm not your kid, so what you did there was wrong. Now let's get a move on before you humiliate me even more."
Fox and Falco took Earnest to a bank, where he could put his lottery winnings into his bank account before he could spend any more for the day. Earnest's bank account was frozen due to inactivity, but a bank teller was more than happy to open it back up.
"Alright, Mr. Ridgeway, all your money is now in your account," the bank teller said to Earnest, who smiled happily as the transaction was easily made. "Enjoy the rest of your day!"
"Much obliged - and you do the same!" Earnest said to the bank teller as he tipped his hat to him. The homeless veteran went over to where Fox and Falco were sitting, and saw that only one pilot was actually sitting in his chair.
"Why you gotta be like this...?" Fox asked Falco, who was hiding underneath his chair as he looked around. Falco wasn't hiding in fear, mind you.
"If I stay down here long enough, those pigs may never find me," surmised Falco, only to frown when he saw two police officers enter the bank. "Crap..."
"Hello, ma'am - have you seen a blue feathery bird anywhere?" one of the police officers asked a bank teller at the front, as Falco watched with bated breath. "He's this tall, also wears a white space jacket..."
"Think that's him over there," the bank teller replied as she pointed at the chair that Falco was hiding underneath. Falco slowly arose from his hiding spot, as he had nowhere to run.
"Just turn yourself in," Fox said to Falco, who slowly stood up to his feet with his hands up as he faced the police officers. "Gotta be the bigger man."
"Oh, I'ma be the bigger man alright..." replied Falco, as he took out his Blaster and fired away at the police officers. Much to Falco's chagrin, the police officers were hardly affected by the Blaster shots.
"That was not what I meant..." Fox shook his head and facepalmed, as Falco was soon apprehended by the police officers and placed in handcuffs. You can't say that he didn't deserve it.
"All I wanted was some chicken nuggets, man!" Falco could only vent his frustrations, as the police officers held him down to the floor. "Stupid kiosk..."
Luigi and Daisy's next stop was a place that Daisy was dying to get to - the spa. It was nothing but comfort and relaxation over there, as Luigi and Daisy were resting on spa beds getting their feed manicured.
"I never want-a to leave this place..." said Luigi, he and Daisy having cucumbers over their eyes while their toenails were meticulously trimmed. "...almost like we're on cloud-a nine."
"Tell me about it," replied Daisy, who was sure to give the spa a raving review once she got back home. "This is the best spa service I've ever gotten!"
"I know, right?" said a certain angel, as Daisy and Luigi took the cucumbers off their eyes and saw Pit right next to them, also getting a foot manicure. "Question: is it okay to eat these eye cucumbers?"
"Pit?!" Luigi uttered the angel's name, as he and Daisy promptly sat up; both were angry with Pit for being hot on their heels. "Who let you in?"
"He said that he was with you," the man doing Pit's feet manicure said to Luigi and Daisy, who couldn't believe that the spa worker accepted such a blatant lie. "He made a convincing enough case."
"Alright, manicure over!" yelled Pit as he sat up and hopped down from the spa bed, eating his eye "cucumbers". "Off to go find Toadsworth." The angel left the premises, as Luigi and Daisy exchanged perplexed looks with one another.
"You're going to pay, right?" Pit's manicurist called out to Pit as he stood up, only to look downtrodden as he was met with zero response.
Elsewhere at the spa, Toadsworth was at the front desk paying for Luigi and Daisy's manicure treatment. What, you didn't think that the married couple was getting their feet manicured for free, did you?
"Every service they'll be getting today will be going on my card," Toadsworth said to the spa worker after he had handed him his debit card. Who knows how much moolah Toadsworth had stored up. "Nose-trimming included."
"Would you like a nose trim?" the spa worker asked Toadsworth, who patted where his nose would usually be - amusing the spa worker in the process.
"Nope! Wouldn't be necessary. I can do that back at home for free." The joke's on you, Toadsworth, you don't even have a nose...or do you?
Toadsworth: Been wanting to show this for an awfully long time... *reveals giant clump of nose hair* ...won't say how I pulled this sucker out, but I'll leave it up to your imagination.
"Toadsworth!" Pit exclaimed when he saw the elderly Toad standing at the front desk, as he came over to him with a big smile. "How's the future wedding officiant doing?"
"I am handling myself quite well," answered Toadsworth, who got his debit card back from the spa worker once the transaction was complete. "But I must ask, why are you so incessant on this wedding talk?"
"Is he with you?" the spa worker asked Toadsworth as he pointed at Pit, who was acting all buddy-buddy with Toadsworth as he wrapped his arm around him.
"No sir, he just stalks after me and my friends." Toadsworth gently took Pit's arm away from him, not a huge fan of how overtly friendly Pit was. "A little too much for our liking, I say..."
"If you want, I can call the cops for you." The spa worker grabbed the phone, as he was willing to call the authorities if he had to. And by no means did Pit want that to happen.
"Please don't, I just wanted to be on good terms with Toadsworth," Pit said to the spa worker, who was about to dial the number only to put the phone down. "Wanted to get him ready for when he..."
"Pit?! This has GOT to stop," shouted a certain princess, as a panicky Pit saw Daisy at the main office along with Luigi. To Toadsworth's surprise, Luigi and Daisy were no longer wearing their white spa bathrobes.
"Oh my! Your treatment is over already?" Toadsworth asked Luigi and Daisy, who came over to the elderly Toad so that they could take him away from Pit.
"Sadly it had to end on short-a notice," replied Luigi, giving Pit a mean-looking side-eye as he, Daisy, and Toadsworth left the spa. "Let's-a go."
"Bye Luigi and Daisy! Talk to ya soon, Toadsworth!" Pit waved to Luigi and company as he went out the door, before turning to the spa worker at the front desk and asking, "Think you can do a spa session for my puffball friend and his future human wife?"
"Might have to see this puffball friend of yours in person first," the spa worker replied with a nervous smile, his reluctance making Pit assume that he was being a hater.
Sonic and friends were done shopping, as they were ready to check out with the stuff they bought for Earnest. Sonic, Crash, and Crunch compiled all their stuff together at a cash register so that they could make one big purchase.
"What's with all the deodorant?" Aku asked Sonic, as he saw deodorants of different kinds being scanned one by one. Even saw a few women's deodorants slip past by.
"...it's for a good cause," replied Sonic, as the store worker scanned the last of the deodorant. The deodorants were the last items to be scanned.
"Your grand total is...$556.67," the store worker gave the price, as Sonic's eyes grew wide. Sonic and company truly went all out. "How will you be paying for all this stuff?"
"Glad you asked..." Sonic cracked a smirk as he took out a card - Master Hand's debit card, which he asked for permission - and inserted it into the card reader. After performing the action, Sonic looked ahead and saw Tails checking out...with Coco.
"Have a good rest of your day!" Tails said to the man standing behind the cash register, as he and Coco grabbed their grocery bags. Sonic furrowed his brow as he saw Tails and Coco leave.
"We'll meet you guys outside," Coco said to sonic and company, as she and Tails both left the store while Sonic still had his brow furrowed.
"Um, sir, it's done reading the card," the store worker informed Sonic, breaking the blue hedgehog out of his stupor. Sonic took the card out of the card reader and placed it back in his imaginary pocket.
Cloud and Denzel were back home at the mansion, as Denzel was taking a nap in Cloud's room. Mario and Cloud were peeking in through the doorway.
"You let him take a nap at this-a time of day?" Mario whispered to Cloud, believing that afternoon naps were asinine - at least for a boy of Denzel's age.
"It's what he wanted to do," Cloud whispered back, pulling away from the doorway as he didn't want to do anything that would disturb Denzel's sleep. "I can still say no if I wanted to."
"Been teaching Mario well, Cloud?" Sephiroth asked the swordsman as he came down the hallway, smirking deviously as he knew how. Cloud grunted when he saw Sephiroth, his fists clenched.
"I dunno, why don't you ask Mario yourself?"
"Why should I? He's not the teacher - you are."
"Look, if you guys are gonna be tense, then I might-a as well leave," Mario said to Cloud and Sephiroth, scramming from the scene before any potential fireworks went off. He would hate to be caught in any crossfire.
"I'll leave you be for now...but keep up the good work," Sephiroth said to Cloud before walking away, as Cloud sighed. If Sephiroth wanted to get further under Cloud's skin, he should've given a wink. Imagine Sephiroth winking.
Cloud: I know I make it more extremely obvious the more I say it but... *shakes his head* ...I hate that guy.
Mario wouldn't get that far down the hallway until he came across Kamui and Silas, who were back home along with Kana. The couple was seen returning Kana back to Felicia.
"Can't thank you two enough for watching over Kana for me," Felicia expressed her thanks to Kamui and Silas, as she had her hands on Kana's shoulders. "You've been such a great sister-in-law, Kamui."
"Better than most other in-laws, I assume," responded Kamui, as she and Felicia shared a small laugh together. Silas himself was laughing a bit - until he saw Mario from the corner of his eye.
"How is it that you keep running into me?" Silas asked Mario, as he went over to have a quick word with the plumber. "Must be more than a coincidence."
"About that outburst earlier...you didn't feel awkward-a from that, did you?" asked Mario, who at the time thought it was nothing wrong but was now slowly having second doubts.
"Not quite - though Kamui might have said something afterward. But I appreciate you for saying what was on your mind."
"Oh okay, because Cloud was bent-a out of shape over it. Speaking of Kamui, another question...do you have a secret-a child tucked away in storage? Like Corrin and Felicia had done?"
"Tucked away in storage?" Silas was amused by the terminology Mario used, as he couldn't help but lightly chuckle. "If we did have a child 'in storage', Kamui would've told me."
"Just asking. I think that you would be a great-a father someday." Mario offered these encouraging words as he pressed on forward, while Silas was looking straight forward with confidence.
"A great father, hmm? I might have to take his word on that..."
Ninjara had his hands full with Charles and Deanna, with both kids getting on his nerves. If that wasn't enough, he also had to keep the pets in check - Poochy, Rotom, and Elfilin. Those three were more of a handful than the kids themselves.
"The best way to console a toddler is to not stop their tantrum while it's in progress," Rotom informed Ninjara, who was just chilling on the couch in the living room while Deanna was crying away. "Never give in!"
"Since you're such a know-it-all, maybe you should get her to stop crying," retorted Ninjara, with an angry scowl on his face as he tried to tune out the noise. The ninja saw Poochy come over to his feet and sighed as Poochy kicked his hind leg up.
"Mr. Ninjara, I believe that I am due for a bathroom break," Elfilin informed the ninja, as Poochy walked away from Ninjara's feet after handling his business. "Do you mind taking me outside?"
"'Due for a bathroom break'...no one has ever talked like that. Also, can't you go outside yourself? Your problem, not mine..."
Yuffie: With Ninjara being the babysitter, I'm finally off the hook! Now Ninjara gets to see first-hand what "fun" he'll be in for. *smiles*
Ninjara sensed that his babysitting duties had come to an end, as he heard the doorknob twisting on the front door. To his delight, Ninjara saw Luigi and Daisy enter the house along with Toadsworth, coming back home sooner than intended.
"You're home early - not that I'm complaining," Ninjara said to Luigi and company, as Luigi quickly slammed the front door; Daisy went over to console Deanna after she saw the toddler crying.
"Thank-a goodness, we lost him," replied Luigi, who was looking through the blinds and saw no one in his front yard. That meant the coast was clear.
"Lost who? Someone out to kill you?" Would be a worst-case scenario for Ninjara if Luigi and Daisy got killed - he would be stuck watching their kids forever!
"We were trying to get away from Pit," Daisy said to Ninjara, holding Deanna as she managed to get the toddler to stop crying. "He wouldn't leave us alone.:
"Are you implying that you were scared of Pit? That's nothing to be proud of." Nonetheless, Luigi and Daisy were happy to throw Pit off their scent, although their "anniversary tour" had to be cut short.
"Sorry that we had to end-a it early," Luigi apologized to Toadsworth, who wasn't that hung up over coming back home on short notice. "I know you're sad-a that it's over and..."
"Whoever said that it was over?" questioned Toadsworth, renewing hope within Luigi and Daisy while instilling a sense of worry inside Ninjara. "We can resume our fun this evening."
"Really?" Luigi, Daisy, and Ninjara all asked Toadsworth simultaneously, with two out of the three individuals feeling ecstatic. And the other done with life.
"Of course! I have a couple of evening activities in mind for you two. And Pit won't be there to bother us, so everything will go as planned."
"Guess that means you'll be back on babysitting duty tonight," Daisy smirked at Ninjara, who saw the five troublemakers he had to put up with as he weighed his options.
"No thanks...I quit," replied Ninjara, who disappeared via smoke bomb; babysitting Luigi and Daisy's kids (and pets) was more nerve-wracking for Ninjara than he imagined.
"Sheik should-a be available, right?" Luigi asked Daisy, certain that Zelda would be done for the day by the time evening rolled around.
Luigi, Daisy, and Toadsworth might not know it, but Pit was spying on them from outside through an open window. Pit had his eyes fixated on Toadsworth, for he had unfinished business.
"You can run, Toadsworth...but you can't hide!" vowed Pit, hoping to secure Toadsworth as the officiant for Kirby and Adeleine's wedding. Bass stood outside judging Pit, while Ninjara joined him.
"Calling Pit a weirdo wouldn't do any justice anymore," Bass said to Ninjara, as he heard Pit laughing maniacally to himself. Albeit quietly. "We need to give him a brand new moniker."
"He's a kid in his own category," stated Ninjara as he went to the mansion, hoping not to run into the ninja pals inside. "I could see why Luigi and Daisy wanted to get away from him..."
It was about that time for Earnest to see his new house, as Sonic and friends came through with the shopping. With everything now in place, Fox was tasked with bringing Earnest to his new home, having to do it by himself. No thanks to Falco getting arrested by the police for his shenanigans.
"So you're probably wondering why Falco and I gave you that winning lottery ticket, aren't ya?" Fox asked Earnest as he led the homeless veteran down the sidewalk to where his new house would be. "Why we've been taking you out and stuff."
"It's to make up for what that young boy did, right?" assumed Earnest, only to stop and be overwhelmed with fear when he saw two Hylians standing near a mailbox - Toon Link and Young Link. "Oh no...there he is!"
"Guys, they're here!" Young Link shouted to those gathered inside a house - the very house that Earnest would be living at. Fox tried to bring Earnest to the house, having to drag the homeless veteran by the hand.
"Relax, Earnest! The buddy cops aren't going to hurt you," assured Fox, with Earnest resisting as much as he possibly could; by no means did Earnest wish to be framed for murder a second time.
"That's what you think! Take me back to the homeless shelter!" pleaded Earnest, and soon enough Fox managed to bring Earnest to the sidewalk of his new house. Earnest was in the presence of the buddy cops, who were very inviting.
"Good afternoon, sir," Toon Link greeted Earnest, who held no ill will towards the Hylian - at least compared to his partner-in-crime. "Welcome to your..."
"Welcome to my what now?" Earnest asked Toon Link, who kept his mouth shut upon realizing that he was about to spill the beans. Fox silently motioned the Hylian to not say another word.
"Actually, I think it would be better if you see for yourself...may we?" So the buddy cops escorted Earnest up the walkway, with Fox following right behind. Earnest only wanted Toon Link to escort him, though.
"I would much prefer if you were the only escort..." the homeless veteran made his request known to Toon Link, as Young Link let go of Earnest and grumpily had his arms folded.
Inside the house, everyone from Guile to Link and Zelda to Sonic and his friends (minus Knuckles) was inside, waiting with anticipation for Earnest's arrival. The wait was starting to kill Sonic.
"Does everyone have a party popper?" asked Digby, as he looked around to see if everyone was armed with a party popper. He noticed that Sonic's hands were empty. "Where is yours, Sonic?"
"I gave mine to Lavenza," replied Sonic as he pointed at Lavenza, growing impatient as he was tapping his foot. "I might get too trigger-happy."
"C'mon Sonic, it's not like he'll arrive ahead of schedule," Tails said to the blue hedgehog, only to panic when he heard the doorbell ring. "Uh oh, you guys, here they are!"
Tails got so panicky, that he screamed and accidentally pulled the trigger on his party popper. The yellow fox got confetti on the floor, and Crash, not wanting to be outdone, released his party popper as well. He had very little confetti compared to Tails.
"At least you tried, little bro," Crunch said to a disappointed Crash, who hung his head low as Crunch patted him on the back. Tails looked at the confetti he released, laughing sheepishly.
Tails: Whaddaya know...looks like I was the trigger-happy one. But it's no big deal. We all have our off days.
"Is everything alright in there?" Fox asked from outside, perceiving Tails' panicked scream that someone got stabbed by a dude wearing a Scream mask or something. "Did someone die?"
"No, Fox, no one is dead," confirmed Zelda, as the buddy cops could be heard letting out a collective "Aww...". "You have Earnest? Bring him inside."
So Fox and the buddy cops brought Earnest inside, as Fox opened the door and the buddy cops walked Earnest in. Once he stepped foot in the house, Earnest was greeted by a cloud of confetti, courtesy of the party poppers.
"Surprise!" Digby exclaimed to Earnest, who was initially startled when the confetti popped out in his face. Probably gave him a war flashback, even. "Welcome to your new home!"
"M-My new...home?" stammered Earnest, understandably at a loss for words as he looked around at the smiling faces. For him, it was too good to be true. "This must be a prank..."
"It's the real deal," Guile said to Earnest, as he gave the homeless veteran a smile. If Guile honestly cared, he would actually smile for once. "This is your house. All yours."
"But I don't understand..." Earnest felt like he was living in a dream, as Digby handed him his house keys. Seeing those keys made Earnest feel like the happiest man alive.
"Guile thought that you deserved more than just a measly American flag," Link explained to Earnest, who now felt like giving Guile a big fat hug. "So he wanted to go all out and give you this."
"Bring it on in," Guile said to Earnest, his arms out wide for a hug; Earnest smiled at Guile, tears welling in his eyes as he ran to the major and hugged him. "Yes, hug me...hold me tight."
"Weirdo," Fox muttered under his breath, likely disgusted by how manly Guile and Earnest's hug was. It was more manly than wholesome. "Would it kill ya to smile, Guile?"
"I'll do my best..." Guile mustered all the facial muscles in his jaw to form a smile, but he could do very little to show anything over than a frown. "...there, I smiled for you. Happy?"
"That wasn't a smile, it looked like you were constipated," commented Coco, as Guile stood by what he said; it would forever be a smile in his book.
"Thank you, Guile, thank you!" Earnest thanked the major, as he moved on from hugging Guile to shaking his hand with glee and appreciation. "From one veteran to another...this is truly special."
"Wanna take you on a tour of your new house?" Digby offered to Earnest, wanting the homeless veteran to check out his new digs. "There's a lot of cool stuff - look, you even got a flatscreen TV!"
"Really?" Earnest noticed the flatscreen television in his living room, staring at it as if it were a ghost. He would find himself giggling afterward. "The last TV that I had looked like a microwave..."
"Anyone care for lunch?" asked Franklin, as the turkey exited from the kitchen holding a large turkey. Everyone was looking right at him. "What's with the weird looks? Can't eat turkey outside of Thanksgiving?"
"Did you just cook your own kind?" Earnest asked Franklin, who looked down at the roasted turkey he was holding and had many thoughts racing in his mind.
"Think I'm having an epiphany...pardon me..." Nearly dropping his turkey to the floor, Franklin went back into the kitchen; he almost ran into the wall on his way there.
"Now you see why Falco and I don't talk about him eating chicken," Fox said to Earnest, as Franklin was heard weeping bitterly from the kitchen. "It weighs down on his mind if he thinks too hard about it."
Franklin: Who am I kidding, those animal villagers aren't cannibals...I'm the real cannibal! *buries face in his hands, crying* I have betrayed my own kind...mom and dad, I have failed you!
"How about we show you your bedroom first," Digby said to Earnest, as he led the homeless veteran down the hallway. Link, Zelda, and Guile followed after Digby and Earnest, while everyone else remained where they were.
"Psst, does this Earnest dude have a car?" Sonic whispered to Lavenza, as Coco and Tails went ahead and got Earnest's television programmed. "He could probably use one."
"His driver's license may be expired," presumed Lavenza; with how long he was homeless, Earnest might have a lot of catching up to do. "I'd say we figure that out first."
"Hey, are you the hedgehog fella who did all that shopping for me?" Earnest asked Sonic, as he came running back to the living room to ask the blue blur. "Guile just told me..."
"You could say that I was the ringleader," replied Sonic, and that prompted Earnest to give him a hug. Sonic, feeling the sudden embrace from Earnest, would return the favor. "Oh yeah...this is the stuff."
"Man, it sure doesn't feel the same without Falco," remarked Fox, his experience at Earnest's house not hitting the same without his best friend at his side. "He'd be recording videos and everything!"
Quite frankly, Falco was in no position to record any footage of Earnest, for he and Knuckles were detained at the police station. Both miscreants were sitting on a bench, left to reflect on what they had done.
"So what are you in for?" Knuckles asked Falco, breaking the silence as he was the first man to make conversation. Falco sighed, ready to tell his story.
"I got arrested because a kiosk chose the wrong day to have technical difficulties," replied Falco, shifting his blame on the Chick-Fil-A workers to the kiosk being faulty in general. "What about you?"
"Me? I was enticed by a few X-rated movies, and I fell for the bait. I was set up, man."
"Sheesh, sucks to be you. But who am I kidding...I got no room to talk."
"Sure hope they don't keep us for long. Do you think they'll post bail?"
"Hope not. But if they do...boy, I wish I had that man's lottery ticket."
At that moment, Falco sensed that he and Fox taking that winning lottery ticket from that man was a horrible move in hindsight...
