Authors Note:

In my six and a half years of writing this story (man, I am getting old), I have never done a Father's Day chapter. Crazy, I know. Since I've started looking ahead to next week's chapter (take a wild guess as to why), I've decided to bid you all with this Father's Day edition of Smash Life...I suppose you can consider it as such. Just know that I got this chapter done to fill the weekly quota. But with a new chapter comes another time for me to answer reviews:

"I thought you said that Captain Falcon's a Lions fan? In Chapter 310's Author's note, if I remember."

Oh, snap! I did say that Falcon might be a Lions fan. Emphasis on "might". We can say that he's a fan of both the Falcons and the Lions (although rooting for two fans in the same conference doesn't sound ideal). Another anonymous review:

"Are you planning to make a Canada Day chapter, combine Canada Day with Independence Day or stick with Independence Day? If you're making a Canada Day, Here's some suggestion for Canada Day: Master Hand force everyone to wear red and white with a red maple leaf accessory, trip to Vancouver and have a Canadian feast."

The thought has never crossed my mind. Canada Day will be the day after the release of the Cuphead DLC and Monster Hunter Rise: Sunbreak, so it would make a potential Canada Day chapter very interesting. One last anonymous review:

"A curious question, since Ms. Pac-Man is not really owned by Namco (just Google it) and she didn't appear in Pac-Man Museum, are you gonna replace her with Pac-Mom?"

Nope - Ms. Pac-Man is here to stay. A JRPG enjoyer with some exciting Fire Emblem news:

"Okay, so now we got the Ashen Wolves confirmed for Three Hopes. There's no reason for you to not include them in the chapter now! And we also got a demo for the game! Hope you have a lot of fun with the demo!"

Ashen Wolves are indeed confirmed - saw them in the Awakened Rivals trailer. Promised that they would return, and return they shall in the next chapter. I've also played the demo for Three Hopes, and I went with the Golden Deer (where many of my favorite characters reside). Though I did mess around a bit with the two other houses. David with more questions:

"TMNT: Shredder's Revenge comes out next week, will we see Pit trying to get Viridi to watch the first movie or have them throw a pizza party? Is Eliza gonna dump Ken as per his story in Street Fighter 6? (Capcom really did him dirty and they'll do the same to Sakura next to piss off the Ryu x Sakura fans). Will the Ashen Wolves also appear for the Fire Emblem Three Hopes chapter? Will any Fire Emblem Heroes characters show up? How soon will the other Mishima family members show up? And finally, what are your thoughts on Cody Rhodes being out for 6 months due to injury and Roman Reigns being absent for Hell in a Cell and Money in the Bank?"

No pizza party. Really don't want to pull the trigger on Eliza dumping Ken, so we'll see how that goes. Ashen Wolves will indeed appear. No haracters from Heroes will appear. The Mishima family reunion is tentative, at the moment. And Cody will be missed during his absence; he was one of the hallmarks of RAW recently, as a babyface, and it'll be hard to fill his void. As for Roman being absent for Money in the Bank, I just can't see the world champion not being on the card for a show like that. How else can the MITB winner cash in their briefcase on Roman and get their big moment? (I'm only kidding.) And now The Reader, with some sad news...

"I don't want to bring some bad news...but I have to. Sadly, Billy Kametz has passed away at the age of 35, after his battle with Stage IV colon cancer. He will be greatly missed, and we'll always remember his remarkable performances as Maruki from Persona 5, Ferdinand from Three Houses, Josuke from Diamond Is Unbreakable, and so much more. RIP Billy, we'll miss you."

Gone at the age of 35, and from stage IV cancer...truly depressing news. I'll remember him fondly for how he portrayed Josuke in Diamond Is Unbreakable, and how he knocked it out of the park with Ferdinand in Three Houses. A voice actor who's as talented as he is seems irreplaceable. He will indeed be missed; my condolences go out to his family, and those most affected by his loss.


Episode 339: Lifeguard

Every year before the start of summer (or on the start of summers, in some years), there was a day called Father's Day. It was basically a day in which dads could be celebrated for, well, being a dad. Unless they were a deadbeat, and there would probably be no celebration if that were the case.

Smash itself had its own fair share of dads, in Bowser, Chrom, Kazuya, and a few others. Some dads, like Olimar, just go about their business and do their usual dad thing. While others, such as Bowser, occasionally gloat in everyone's face about how great of a dad they are and how they're better than all the other dads. "Occasionally" was the key word here.

Since it was Father's Day weekend, Mario invited his fellow dads, and their families, to a pool party that would take place at a community pool in town. Said pool party could've happened at the mansion's pool, but the pool had to be cleaned out by Mr. Game and Watch. It was then that everyone learned a valuable lesson...never let Donkey Kong relieve himself in the pool unsupervised.

"Pool tubes? Check. Mesh-a bags? Check," said Mario, going through his inventory as he was packing items inside a suitcase in his living room. Peach was observing her husband's progress. "Sun-a screen? Double check."

"We don't need any sunscreen, Mario," Peach assured with a smile, as she gently took the bottle of sunscreen out of Mario's hand. "We're just going to the pool! And it'll only be 67 degrees outside."

"Never underestimate the power of the sun-a rays, Princess Peach." Mario grabbed the sunscreen from Peach, before stuffing it in the suitcase. "Now where did I leave that bug-a spray?"

"Bug spray?" frowned Spyro, who along with Hunter was being forced to attend the pool party. Not like the two friends had any chance in the matter. "Is this a pool party or a camping trip?"

"I can make-a you stay at home, you know...while I hide the TV remote." Mario expected Spyro to feel threatened, but Spyro was undeterred by the plumber's measly intimidation attempt.

"Gonna hide it under the couch like the last time?" Spyro watched as Mario snapped his fingers in disgust, before going back to doing his inventory. "You can't fool me, Mario."

Link: Mario is inviting all the other dads to a pool party somewhere downtown. Either it'll be an actual day of fun or an excuse for Mario to "observe" Cloud while he's with Denzel. If it's the latter, I wonder how long it'll take for Cloud to catch on. I'd give him a minute or two.

Joker: Because I'm a "dad", apparently, I got an invite to Mario's pool party. And I wasn't allowed to turn the invite down. I'm bringing my Phantom Thief friends as "family" so that they could hold me back from choking Mario's neck.

Kazuya: Heihachi better keep looking over his shoulder at this pool party. Because I'll be keeping a close eye on him... *smiles* ...today would be a perfect opportunity for me to drown that old man, once and for all.

"Mario, the bus is ready to go!" Toad called out to the plumber from outside, as he knocked on the door. Toad would be the man driving everyone to the pool, in that large bus that he likely stole.

"Alright Toad, give-a us a moment," Mario responded as he went through the stuff in the suitcase, only to realize that something was missing. "Mama mia! Where did I leave-a my scrub brush?"


Guile was in very low spirits after Earnest bought a car he originally had his eyes set on - a Ford F-150 truck. Earnest, for whatever reason, paid for the truck out of pocket as he spent the entirety of his lottery ticket earnings. That made Guile feel even worse than before, seeing so much money spent like that.

But Guile hoped that today's pool party would lift up his mood, as being in the company of other family men might turn his perpetual frown upside down. Okay, so the odds of him smiling for the first time ever were slim to none, but it wouldn't hurt to hope for a miracle.

"Nothing like an old-fashioned pool party to kick off the summer," said Guile, who was standing in the foyer of the tower while combing his hair. The major was already decked in his pool wear, wearing a white tank top and some American flag swimming trunks.

"Oh? It's still taking place?" asked a certain robot inventor, as Guile saw Dr. Wily standing by. Much like Guile, Wily was also dressed for the occasion - for whatever reason.

"I don't recall you getting an invite. Are you a dad?" If Wily revealed that he was indeed a dad, he'd be subject to constant interrogation from Guile; the only way he'd get out is if he provided the names of his children.

"Erm, yes! I am a father to all the Robot Masters that I invented. Then that wretched Dr. Light took them under his custody. That crook!"

"So that's why you made all those robots...because you were pathetically lonely." Done combing his hair, Guile walked away as Wily was cut in deep. "At least they're in better care now."

"If that's what you think..." muttered Wily as he folded his arms, only for his swimming trunks to fall down. The robot inventor shrieked loudly as he hurriedly pulled them up.

Dr. Wily: No, I wasn't invited - but that won't stop me from forcing my way in. Because I'm a bad guy that's what I do. Honor the code. Now if I see Dr. Light...or even worse, E. Gadd... *shivers* ...imagine if both of them were there.


In a shocking turn of events, Falco revealed on Microwave Idol Mamorin that he decided to become a vegan. This new lifestyle of his not only stunned the hosts but Fox as well. Falco even felt emboldened to steal the idol singers' microwave, thinking that he was trying to send a message.

But fortunately, Toadsworth got through Falco, suggesting that the avian pilot be properly instructed on how to live the vegan lifestyle without being much of a pain. So taking it upon himself, the elderly Toad chose to spend an entire week directing Falco in the steps that he should take. Since he was stuck in town, thanks to Pit, Toadsworth might as well make the most of his time.

"Are you sure your teaching will have a positive effect on Falco?" Link asked Toadsworth, as he and the elderly Toad were having a brief discussion in the dining room.

"I have the utmost confidence that he's gained something out of my lectures," Toadsworth replied with a slight giggle, hoping that his lectures hadn't droned on for too long. "Why do you ask?"

"Just wondering, because I've been getting complaints from the others about Falco." If the residents were making complaints about Falco's veganism, then that was a sign of concern for Toadsworth.

"Hmm, perhaps they're still getting used to Falco's bold life choice. I'd say give them some time." As Link and Toadsworth left the dining room, Akuma entered therein holding an entire plate of bacon. All for himself.

Toadsworth: I'm not much of a vegan myself, but I did the research and offered several tips for Falco to adhere to. My biggest worry is that I might've fed Falco too much information...

"Can't believe those Blades gave me all this bacon," gleamed Akuma as he sat down at the dining table, licking his chops as he stared at the bacon that was before him. "And I didn't have to ask nicely!"

"Tsk, tsk, tsk..." said a certain avian pilot; Akuma looked up and saw Falco enter the dining room, shaking his head in much disappointment. "...thought you were better than this, Akuma."

"Falco, I can explain...this is a cheat meal." An entire plate of bacon was one heck of a cheat meal, even for a regular human being. "I eat enough fruits and vegetables, so I should be good."

"Did you know?" Falco pointed at Akuma's face, ready to recite an incredibly random fun fact that Akuma simply didn't care enough to learn about. "A daily serving of processed meat increases the risk of death from cancer."

"So it's the bacon that makes you die from cancer, not cells? Why on earth are you even telling me this?"

"And did you know?" Falco pointed at Akuma a second time, ready to bring it home for the fighter who still couldn't care less. "Process meat can increase the risk of type 2 diabetes, heart disease, and stroke?"

"So much for eating in peace..." grumbled Akuma as he grabbed his plate of bacon and stormed out of the dining room in an unhappy mood. Falco had ticked off the wrong guy.

"Just trying to warn you, man..." Falco called out to Akuma, hoping that the fighter would at least heed the very facts that he spoke.


Mario was all done packing his belongings, as he and a slew of others were waiting around at the bus for the remaining partygoers to arrive. Among this group were the Phantom Thieves, as Yusuke was doing a headcount.

"It seems that Kasumi is nowhere to be found," stated Yusuke after he was finished doing the headcount. Wouldn't be right to leave a Phantom Thief behind. "Has she forgotten about today's events?"

"Think I saw her sneak out after breakfast," replied Ann, as she had her friends worried about Kasumi's whereabouts. "Didn't get a chance to get her on the way out..."

"Hey, Mario - Dr. Light and Roll are coming to the pool party," Mega Man said to Mega Man, who was checking the items in his suitcase. Wily, who was creeping his way to the bus, froze when he heard Wily's name. "You don't mind, do you?"

"Yeah, yeah, sure, why not," replied Mario, who was hardly listening as he rummaged through his suitcase. The plumber smiled as he pulled out the pair of shades he was looking for. "Found-a my reading glasses!"

"Look like sunglasses to me," remarked Fox, wondering why Mario would even need reading glasses while at the pool. Meanwhile, Wily was still frozen, before finally loosening up.

"Dr. Light is going to be there?" the robot inventor growled quietly, as he hustled his way to the bus unseen. "This is going to be terrible..." Wily snuck inside the bus, right after Toad walked out of the vehicle.

"Is everyone ready to go?" asked Toad, as he saw Chrom show up with Lucina, Robin, and their two kids. As well as Corrin, Felicia, and Kana. Seemed like everyone was accounted for. "Everyone here?"

"Kasumi isn't here yet," Makoto informed Toad, who by the smiling look on his face was hardly concerned. "But Ann said that she saw her sneak out of..."

"Wherever Kasumi is, I'm sure she'll be fine." Toad said that so casually, as the Phantom Thieves exchanged concerned looks with one another. "Now who's ready to get this..."

"Screw waiting, let's GO!" shouted Bowser, as he ran inside the bus and knocked Toad down; everyone else followed suit, as they went inside the bus and left poor Toad a mangled mess.

"They are always so impatient..." Toad managed to pick himself up off the ground, before dusting himself off as he went inside the bus. "...couldn't even wait for the bus driver!"

"Hurry up Toad, we don't have all day!" shouted Ken, as Toad hopped in his seat and closed the bus door before taking off down the road.


Master Hand: Punishing Pit has lost its meaning nowadays. I could ground him, but Palutena's done that enough times already. I could force him to scrub the toilets, but he's done that more times than he can count...if he knew how to count, that is. I could even make him live anywhere in Michigan for an entire week, but I care too much about his well-being to do that. (No offense to the Michiganders.) But, Pit deserved to be punished for screwing over Toadsworth getting back home, so I let Joker choose what the punishment will be...

When it came to Pit's punishment, the ball was in Joker's court. And luckily for Master Hand, Joker knew of the perfect punishment...forcing Pit to work behind the counter at Cafe Leblanc by himself. Pit's barista skills had improved over time, so none of the patrons had to suffer.

But that wasn't all - Pit was also forced to "be a maid" to the other baristas while doing his job. So with Joker going to the pool party, it was only Kirby, Viridi, and Incineroar who were getting preferential treatment.

"More tea, Pit!" Viridi called out to Pit, as she was sitting at a table with Kirby and Incineroar. Pit groaned, as he went over to the table from the counter and poured Viridi a cup of tea.

"I would like some more scones, please," Kirby made his request known to Pit, who groaned once more as he went back to the counter and returned to the table with a bag of scones. "I would like the chocolate ones."

"Should've been more specific..." grumbled Pit as he went back to the counter once more, and grabbed the right bag of scones. The angel went back to the table and poured the scone in front of Kirby, not caring if any landed on the floor.

"Thank you, Pit!" Kirby sucked up all the chocolate scones in one fat gulp and was a happy camper as he swallowed and smiled. Incineroar put his hand up, for he too had a request for Pit.

"If you want your stupid ball of yarn back, Incineroar, you can forget it..." On that note, Pit went back to the counter and rested his head against it. It has been a very long week for the angel.

"May I have some scones as well?" Cuphead asked Pit, who growled angrily as he grabbed a nearby cup and chucked it at Cuphead. Cuphead ducked in the nick of time. "Sorry for asking!"


Toad arrived at the pool, parking the bus in the parking lot. The man who was operating the pool was gathering his belongings from a cart when he looked over and saw Mario and company filing out of the bus.

"Oh no..." the pool operator fretted, looking on in fear as Mario led his gang to the pool entrance. The pool operator tried to force a smile. "...hey, Mario! I see you got yourself a large group here..."

"We would like access-a to your pool," Mario said to the pool operator, whom he wanted to move out of the way. "I reserved a pool party..."

"...for the dads! Father's Day weekend, baby!" shouted Ken as he pumped his fist, with Chrom responding with a resounding "Yeah!"...and Lucina facepalming as a result.

"You did?" the pool operator crinkled his nose, before shaking his head to avoid finding himself on Mario's bad side. "I mean, you did! How could I forget?"

"Sooooo are you gonna let us in or not?" Bowser asked the pool operator, charging up some flames in his mouth just in case he had to wait any longer.

"Right this way!" So the pool operator moved to the side, as he allowed the group to enter through the entrance. The man then sighed as he shook his head. "Hope that was all of them..."

"Hello, kind sir!" a kind old man said to the pool operator, who frowned as he saw Dr. Light standing by. Standing with Dr. Light were Roll and Auto. "Is Mario at this pool? We were invited to a pool party..."

"I CAN'T TAKE THIS ANYMORE!" The pool operator grabbed a beach ball from the cart and kicked it away, as he stormed off in an angry fit. That left and company awkwardly standing around.

"Sounds like a yes to me!" Roll said to Dr. Light and Auto, as she and the others went through the entrance. Meanwhile, Wily snuck out of the bus, before hiding behind a car that had just parked.

"Pool party, here I come..." the robot inventor said sinisterly as he ran to the entrance, with the driver of the car he was hiding behind getting out and staring in confusion.


Mario led everyone to the pool, which already had a few folks present. Mario smiled as he breathed in the air, before letting out a giant exhale.

"Ah, the pool!" the plumber gleamed as he looked around and took in all the sights and sounds. "A sparkling oasis of summer enchantment!"

"Yeah, nothing like sitting in a moist tub with strangers," smiled Ken Masters; since the pool was pretty big, there was more than plenty of space for the fighter to soak in. "It's like the bus, but wet."

"I thought you said that there would be a party?" Peach said to Mario, wondering where all the decorations and food were. Mario bit his bottom lip, as everyone had their eyes on him.

"I might've made-a up the party part..." admitted Mario, as he came clean; the plumber held his back as he closed his eyes, only to open his eyes and see everyone looking disappointed in him.

"Looks like I'm doing catering..." grumbled Daisy as she grabbed her phone and dialed a number. Had to do everything herself. "...hello, Dingo's Diner? No, I don't want your jukebox!"

"Why would a sun need to wear sunglasses?" Cloud asked Chrom, who was holding a towel that had a sun wearing sunglasses on it. Cloud had seen that sun design many times before, and the answer to his curious question always eluded him.

"It's best not to think about it," replied Chrom, only to scream when a water balloon was thrown at his face. Lucina tried not to laugh, holding her hands over her mouth as Chrom was soaking wet.

"Hey, Chrom!" a voice called out to the prince from the lifeguard tower, as everyone looked up and saw Kasumi sitting up high in her swimwear. "I see that you guys made it to the pool."

"Kasumi? Where's-a the lifeguard?" questioned Luigi, wondering how qualified Kasumi for the job was - while also wondering if Kasumi kicked the original lifeguard to the curb. Kicked him down the lifeguard tower or something.

"I am the lifeguard. I make the rules around here!" Kasumi took out another water balloon and threw it at Chrom's head.

"Aah! She's attacking me with water!" Chrom screamed at the top of his lungs, as Chrom ran for cover. Everyone laughed at Chrom before going their own separate ways, as the Phantom Thieves approached Kasumi.

"Wow! You work here?" Ryuji asked Kasumi, who seemed to enjoy sitting at the top of the lifeguard tower. Made her feel like the queen of the world.

"I found out lifeguards get free snack privilege," replied Kasumi, as he took out a bag of potato chips and opened it up. If Yuffie ever found out about that privilege, she'd sign up to be a lifeguard in a heartbeat. "Plus I get the best seat in the house."

"So, hey, you wanna go chuck more water balloons at Chrom?" Ryuji throwing water balloons at Chrom all day long would make his trip to the pool worth it.

"I'd love to, but I gotta spend the day doing tryouts. They're looking for a new assistant lifeguard."

"What if I was an assistant lifeguard?" Joker proposed to Kasumi, willing to serve as an assistant lifeguard for just one day. Kasumi was allured by the idea.

"That would be so much fun! You're in!" Kasumi threw a rescue can at Joker, who caught it with his hand. "You just have to check in with my superior first."

"Your superior?" inquired Futaba, as the Phantom Thieves looked over and saw Kasumi's superior...the former homeless veteran known as Earnest. Earnest was wearing lifeguard attire, as he was on the ground doing pushups.

"One, and a two, and a three, and a four!" shouted Earnest as he did the pushups, while those around him were cheering him on. A blue hedgehog standing behind the fence was also cheering on Earnest.

"Keep it up, Earnest, you're doing great!" shouted Sonic, who was standing next to Lavenza. Guile looked amazed, astonished at how Earnest went from homeless to being a lifeguard so quickly.

Sonic: It was me who found that lifeguard job for Earnest. He's only had it for almost a week now. It's a low-end job, so the pay isn't so shabby - only pays like eight dollars an hour. The pool was desperate to hire, though; they'd hire a drug addict off the street if it meant filling a role.

Joker: This assistant lifeguard job should keep me from doing unspeakable things to Mario. *pauses* Not that I would never do such unspeakable things, to begin with, but Mario knows how to push anyone's buttons...


Samus was working hard in the workshop, working on a new gadget of hers while eating an egg salad sandwich. Pikachu was there to keep her company. The bounty hunter was so used to working alone, Pikachu aside, that she could always sense the presence of another person within her vicinity.

"I can hear your loud breathing, Lloyd...I'd appreciate it if you stop," said Samus, as she expected Lloyd to be sitting at her side. But when she turned her head, she instead saw Falco.

"Sup babe..." Falco greeted Samus, who shrieked as she nearly fell out of her chair and dropped her egg salad sandwich. The shriek was loud enough to wake Pikachu up from his slumber.

"H-How long have you been sitting there?" Samus was frowning as she stood up, grateful that her sandwich hadn't fallen out of her hands. Falco observed the sandwich, able to tell that there was egg salad in-between the bread slices.

"Egg salad, huh? I'll have you know that eating too many eggs can make you bloated. Wouldn't want to mess with that curvy figure of yours, don't you?"

"Not exactly how bloating works..." Samus took out her Plasma Gun, as Falco was one step away from being shocked. Samus also had Pikachu on standby. "...what's the point of you telling me this?"

"Just trying to give you a warning. Also, eating too many eggs is bad for the heart. It could really raise your cholesterol levels!"

"But there's not even that many eggs in the..." Ultimately giving up hope, Samus decided to rid herself of Falo for good as she turned towards Pikachu. "...Pikachu, you know what to do."

"Pika..." said Pikachu as he charged up electricity in his cheeks, about to unleash a wicked Thunderbolt. The mouse Pokemon gave Falco an ample amount of time to scram.

"Okay, okay, I'm leaving!" Falco said to Samus, saving himself a lot of trouble as he ran out of the workshop. A satisfied Samus put her gun away, as she sat back down and resumed her work.


One of the chief concerns that Link had about the Father's Day "pool party" was that it was only a vehicle for Mario to observe Cloud interacting with Denzel. Sadly, the Hylian's worries were confirmed as Mario was in the pool, staring at Cloud and Denzel who were sitting poolside.

"Can you stop staring at them like that?" Spyro asked Mario as he swam over to the plumber, who was watching Cloud and Denzel...just chilling. "It's getting borderline creepy."

"Shh, go away, you'll blow-a my cover..." Mario said quietly to Spyro as he pushed the purple dragon away; Spyro swam away from Mario, sighing as he returned to his original spot.

Wanting that assistant lifeguard job, Joker decided to speak with Earnest and win the lifeguard's graces. The young man presented his best case for why he was the right man for the job.

"And that is why I think I'd make a good lifeguard assistant," said Joker as he finished presenting his case to Earnest, who was taking the young man into consideration as he scratched his chin.

"Hmm..." said Earnest, before leaning in close to Joker and sniffing the young man for any signs of sunscreen. "...SPF 100? Good, I like you! But this isn't an easy job. It's anarchy out there."

"I think I can handle it." The pool as of now was pretty calm, for the most part - whatever anarchy Earnest spoke of was clearly in his head.

"Can you handle this?!" Earnest pulled off his hand, revealing it to be prosthetic, as Joker jumped back in fear. "I lost my hand to a pool filter. The pool may seem friendly, but she can turn on you in an instant. Which is why you must respect her rules! Do you think you have what it takes, boy? Do you?!"

Earnest: Ha! I didn't lose my hand to a pool filter; I lost it in the war after my hand got blown off thanks to a handmade bomb. I tell that pool filter story just to scare children and adults alike. But mostly just the children.

"Sure. I guess..." replied Joker, who had glanced at Kasumi with a nervous look on his face; Kasumi had given Joker a very reassuring thumbs up.

"Welcome to the deep end, son," Earnest said to Joker as he placed a whistle around the young man's neck. It was now official - Joker was an assistant lifeguard (but only for a day).

"Well, thanks, I..." Joker wouldn't get to offer his full thanks to Earnest, as Earnest strangled the young man in a hug. "...yup. Oh, this is happening."


Pit had it rough running Cafe Leblanc by himself, as he had to serve the patrons AND be somewhat of a maid to his fellow baristas while they were on break. Could things possibly get any worse for the angel? You betcha.

"Pit! Just a heads up," Yu said to the angel as he entered the cafe, with a pretty big announcement that he wanted to share - no pun intended. "There's a huge party coming in."

"We're having a party in the cafe?" Pit asked as he smiled, believing that things were finally looking up for once. He sure could use a party right about now. "It's about time!"

"No, it's not that kind of party..." Yu looked out the door, seeing a large group of people coming up before stepping out of the way. "...here they come now!"

The exuberant smile that Pit once had slowly faded away, as a bunch of folks entered Cafe Leblanc. Among the large group were two faces that Pit and the others recognized - Noel Vermillion and Mai Natsume.

"Well, well..." remarked Kirby, as at least five people had entered the cafe. Six if you want to include the giant who had a hard time getting in through the door.

"A little help here!" an eight-foot man called out from outside the cafe, as Noel and Mai came over to help out. It wasn't an easy task, but the two ladies made the most of it.

"Hold your head down and..." Noel said to the man, who held his head down as Noel and Mai successfully pulled him inside the cafe. Sans, who was sitting at the counter, did a small clap.

"Thanks, ladies! You have no idea how embarrassing that was..." If that man had trouble entering the cafe, imagine the kind of problems that Bowser had.

"It's no biggie, Tager!" smiled Mai as she patted the eight-foot man, Iron Tager, on his back. Pit almost wanted to scream seeing how many people were now occupying the cafe.

Yu: Joker wanted Pit to be as overwhelmed as possible while running the cafe solo, so I invited Noel and a bunch of her friends to the cafe...and maybe a few of her acquaintances as well. Sounds mean on the surface, but considering that Pit screwed over an honest Toad...

"So you're the guy who runs this cafe?" one of the guests asked Pit - a silver-haired dude who wore a long red coat and had a cool baritone voice. "You can call me Ragna the Blooedge. I'll have you know that I like my coffee to be..."

"Nobody cares about your preference," said another dude - a blonde who wore a blue cape - as he pushed Ragna to the side. Ragna, who was pushed by his younger brother, was incensed. "My name is Jin Kisaragi, and I demand that you fix me a cup of coffee."

"You won't get a cup by acting rude," Noel said matter-of-factly to Jin, and what was her prize? A slap to the face, courtesy of Jin. Some folks gasped, while others (i.e. Sans) let out a soft laugh.

"you must be a very slap-happy fella," Sans said to Jin, who threatened to slap the skeleton - before choosing to spare him only since he was a resident.

"We would like our coffee today, please," Jin said to Pit, who already felt intimidated seeing so many guests standing around. Almost made the angel want to wet his pants. "Not to rush you or anything, but...don't waste your time."

"I-I'm right on it!" said Pit as he got the coffee machine working. The angel was about to get his hands full.


Wily had successfully sneaked his way inside the pool and was now looking for the perfect spot to relax. As he looked for a spot, he became incensed when he saw an old rival of his with two friendly robots.

"Dr. Light?!'" Wily growled as he saw Dr. Light with Roll and Auto; the robot inventor kept himself concealed behind some greenery, as he kept a very close eye on Dr. Light.

"There she is..." Dr. Light said to Roll and Auto, as he brought the two robots to a beach chair shining in the sunlight. "...equidistant from the snack bar and the bathroom. Just the right amount of sun and shade. And pointed away from where that crusty old man lotions himself...the perfect lawn chair."

"The legends that you told us in the half-track were true," Auto said to Dr. Light, as he was admiring the beach chair in all its glory. Roll, on the other hand, failed to see the appeal.

"I just can't believe it wasn't already taken. And now to sit on it, thereby claiming it as my own..." Dr. Light was about to sit down in the beach chair, and Wily refused to let him have it.

"Not on my watch!" shouted Wily as he emerged from his hiding spot, before grabbing Dr. Light and throwing him into the pool. Dr. Light was screaming as he fell into the water, and was left splashing on the surface crying for help.

"Dr. Light!" Roll cried out, as Kasumi rushed in to save Dr. Light. Wily stood around smiling deviously, as Dr. Light's predicament brought some joy to his face.

"Serves you right, doctor!" Wily sneered at his adversary, before turning his attention to the beach chair that Dr. Light was coveting. "Now to make my move."

Wily went to the beach chair, but as he sat down, he felt a foot resting on his back. The robot inventor quickly stood up as he held his back.

"What?!" shouted Wily, as he saw the person that had already claimed the beach chair...Professor E. Gadd. E. Gadd was apparently shirtless and was wearing some pretty small swim trunks.

"Why hello, Dr. Wily!" E. Gadd kindly greeted the robot inventor, who was obviously incensed to see the inventor. First Dr. Light, and now this.

Wily: Dr. Light and E. Gadd are both at the pool...starting to think that sneaking my way here might have been a mistake. Knew I should've stayed at home and done my pilates.

"E. Gadd! Get outta my chair, geezer!" Wily commanded the inventor, not wanting to start a scene; but if E. Gadd refused to move a single inch, then Wily would have no choice.

"Oh my, was this your chair? I had no idea," admitted E. Gadd, before looking around and leaning in close to Wily as he whispered, "To tell you the truth, Wily, I kinda knew."

"Move it, you ugly troll!" Wily jumped on top of the beach chair as he was wrangling with E. Gadd, who found Wily's wrangling to be ticklish.

"You know what they say! First come, first serve!" E. Gadd couldn't stop giggling, almost as if Wily was touching every funny bone in his body.

"I'll first serve you!" Wily put E. Gadd in a chokehold, holding the inventor by down the neck. As Wily was about to lift E. Gadd up...

...he suddenly heard a whistle. Wily turned around and saw Earnest staring at him, as he gently took his hand away from E. Gadd's neck.


There was nothing in the world that Villager prided himself more in than his sea bass collection. The young lad was in his room going through his collection, only to gasp when he saw something amiss.

"A clown fish mount?!" Villager gasped as he pulled a clown fish mount out from his collection. "You obviously don't belong here, my friend." The young lad was about to exit his room...only to see Falco standing at the doorway.

"Hope you aren't about to eat that fish," Falco said to Villager, who stared at the clown fish mount before kindly offering it to Falco. "No thanks, I don't eat fish. Not in my diet."

"Darn it! Thought that vegans could eat fish." Villager was left with no choice but to throw the clown fish in the trash, as harsh as it may sound. "But why were you inquiring, Falco?"

"I bet you're aware of the benefits that fish has. It's full of omega-3 fatty acids and vitamin D, and is also rich in minerals such as calcium."

"Never knew that before, but thanks for the info dump! But, um, why are you telling me this?"

"Eating fish twice a week is fine, but eating it in excess can give you mercury poisoning, which in turn can mess up your vision and hearing. Bet you didn't know that, did you?"

"I should...get back to my sea bass collection." Villager slowly closed the door on Falco, likely muttering something under his breath after the door was shut. Believing that he had outdone himself, a satisfied Falco nodded his head as he walked away.


Due to his actions, Wily was stuck in pool jail, standing behind prison bars. Keeping watch of the robot inventor was Kasumi, who was busy noodling around on her phone.

"Come on, Kasumi! You can't do this to an old man!" Wily said to the young woman, begging her to release him. But Kasumi wouldn't let an evildoer like Wily get out so easily.

"Sorry, Wily, it's not up to me," apologized Kasumi, only to let out a small chuckle as she was playing a game on her phone. "Actually, it is."

"Hey, Kasumi, I got the job!" announced Joker, as he ran up to Kasumi to tell her the good news. Kasumi's lifeguard duties won't be so lonely anymore.

"Great? Wanna go abuse our power?" Abusing your power...perhaps the finest perk of having any kind of authority.

"But what if Earnest catches us? He seems like he takes his job too seriously."

"Show the whole world what you're made of!" Sonic cheered on for Earnest from behind the fence, as Earnest was doing sit-ups on the chain-link fence.

"No, don't worry, Joker. You just have to be sneaky about your rule-breaking. Race you to the no running sign!"

Joker ran after Kasumi but then sees Earnest who was now drinking water from the pool. Earnest looked at him and licked the extra water off his face, as Joker then slowed down.

"How long you in for?" a kid that was stuck in pool jail asked Wily, striking up some conversation with the robot inventor. At least Wily had company.

"Two hours for roughhousing, but I'm innocent!" replied Wily; if he came to the pool with a few weapons in hand, he would've broken out in an instant.

"Pool jail ain't so bad...as long as you don't wind up in solitary." The kid brought Wily's attention to a kid trapped inside a pool vent, and Wily felt a little sorry for the young fella.

Pool Jail Kid: It's the nights that are the hardest.

"Psst, Fox..." Mario whispered to the pilot, who was lying on a pool float only to lift his sunglasses when he heard his name called. "I want...no, I need-a you to shove Denzel into the water."

"What's in it for me?" Fox whispered to Mario, not wanting to do anything that would tick off Cloud. Especially in a public setting such as the public pool. "Trying to get me killed? Or Denzel killed?"

"No, I just wanted to see how Cloud would-a save Denzel! What his course-a of action would be." Evaluating his options, Fox looked at Denzel being with Cloud and decided that it wasn't worth it.

"Find somebody else to take the bait..." Fox placed his sunglasses back over his eyes, as he continued to sunbathe. Mario looked disappointed, as Spyro swam over to the plumber looking disappointed as well - but for a different reason.


Pit was the most stressed he has ever felt since he began working at the cafe, having to deal with Noel and her many friends (and acquaintances) as well as the other cafe patrons...by himself. On top of that, he also had to serve Kirby, Viridi, and Incineroar.

"Where's my shoulder massage, Pit?" Viridi asked the angel, who was busy working a coffee machine when he heard his girlfriend calling out to him. Pit ran over to Viridi and massaged her shoulders, while the coffee machine was still running.

"Pit, you're getting coffee all over the floor!" Diddy Kong informed the angel, as coffee was spilling unto the floor from the coffee machine. Pit hurriedly grabbed a mop and mopped up his mess.

"I demand another bowl of curry!" boomed Ragna as he banged his fists on the table he was sitting at...with Jin sitting across from him. Pit dropped the mop to the floor as he fixed a bowl of curry for Ragna.

"I would like a bowl as well," requested Jin, as Pit fixed a second bowl of curry; Pit grabbed both bowls and placed them on Ragna and Jin's table. "My curry is too hot...I can seek the smoke."

"come quick, pit, I have to tell you this eye joke," Sans said to the angel, who was blowing away on Jin's curry before running back to the counter to hear Sans' joke. "promise you that it's not...cornea."

"My curry is still hot!" Jin shouted at Pit, who was completely done with life at this point as he fell over on his back. The angel was exhausted - if he wasn't already.

Viridi: Throughout my entire relationship, all I've wanted was for Pit to serve me to my every whim...and I finally got wanted I wanted! Granted it has made him stressed out, among other things, but...a wish granted is a wish granted.

"Your name is Rachel Alucard? And you are a vampire?" Alucard spoke with one of Noel's acquaintances - a vampire girl who happened to hold a black umbrella over her head. That umbrella was an actual living being.

"That is correct," replied Rachel, who was drinking from a cup of tea; tea was a very special request at Cafe Leblanc, though it wasn't always available. "It is a shame that I had to sacrifice my time to be in the presence of so many ruffians."

"Ruffians such as...?" inquired Pigma, who was slurping down his bowl of curry like a madman. Rachel sighed and facepalmed, as Alucard immediately sympathized with the vampire.

"Surprised that those two haven't killed each other yet," Noel said to Mai, as the two friends were keeping a close eye on Ragna and Jin. Speaking of whom, Ragna and Jin were in a competition to see who could finish their curry the fastest.

"YES! I won!" shouted a victorious Ragna, as he was the brother who finished his bowel of curry first. Jin was nowhere close to victory.

"No fair, I was at a competitive disadvantage," frowned Jin, already making excuses as he tried to soften the sting of defeat. Nothing worse than losing to a sibling you despised. "My curry was still hot."

"Could've waited for it to cool off, you know," Noel called out to Jin, who gritted his teeth angrily before grabbing his bowl of curry and tossing it at Noel. You could only imagine how proud Jin felt when the bowl struck Noel's head.


E. Gadd was enjoying himself in the beach chair that Wily wanted, as he was applying some sunscreen on his body. Dabbed some on his face.

"Ooh! My cheeks are baby soft," E. Gadd giggled as he patted his cheeks, while Wily spied on the inventor from afar looking in disgust.

"Look at him, that smug chair-stealing jerk!" growled Wily, unnerved that everyone else at the pool was letting E. Gadd get away with simply sitting in the beach chair. "But I can't touch him, or the pool patrol will throw me in pool jail. Hmm..."

The light from the sun struck Wily's watch, and that gave Wily a brilliant idea. The robot inventor attempted to shine the light on his watch at E. Gadd, hoping to burn him to a crisp.

"Yes. Yes! Burn the old creep," said Wily, as E. Gadd held up his goggles; the goggles bounced the light back to Wily, and right into Wily's eyes. "Aah!"

"Oh dear, what happened?" questioned E. Gadd after putting on his goggles, as Wily fell into the pool. After briefly looking around, E. Gadd went back to chilling in the beach chair, as Wily came out of the water completely enraged.

At the pool, you can never go wrong with wearing an inflatable duck. Hunter was too old to be wearing an inflatable duck around his waist, but that didn't stop him from putting it on.

"Hunter..." a voice called out to the cheetah, who had the inflatable duck properly adjusted. The mysterious voice was awfully close by.

"Inflatable duck guy, is that you?" Hunter asked as he looked down at the inflatable duck, believing that it now had a mind of its own.

"Yes, Hunter, it is I. I can talk."

"Oh my gosh, I knew you guys were secretly alive. I knew it!"

"My people have been enslaved, Hunter. You must free us." The voice happened to come from Joker and Kasumi, who were around the corner with a megaphone looking at Hunter as they were making the inflatable duck talk. The two laughed and told each other to shush quietly.

"The inflatable pool duck revolution is at hand!" Determined to save an entire race of inflatable ducks, Hunter ran off to fulfill his mission. Joker and Kasumi laughed, only to hear a whistle from Earnest.

"Joker...Miss Yoshizawa..." Earnest said to the two lifeguards, who expected to find themselves in trouble. Instead, Earnest gave the two a proud smile. "...keep up the good work, you two."


The Ice Climbers had done it - they perfected a new flavor of ice cream and were prepared to put on on the market. But first, they needed someone to taste-test it to see if it was safe for consumption. Fortunately, Popo had the right taste-tester in mind.

"What are you waiting for? Eat it!" Popo commanded Proto Man, as he had brought the robot to his room. Proto Man was holding a spoonful of ice cream in his hand, staring at it inquisitively.

"Gotta know what flavor this is first," stated Proto Man, seeing that the ice cream was jet black and had orange speckles on it. That was a huge cause of concern for the robot.

"Popo and I had a lot of disagreement on it, but we named the ice cream flavor..." Nana was about to reveal what the flavor was, only for Popo to put his hands over her mouth. Nana made muffled sounds, trying to break from Popo's grasp.

"...we'll tell you what the flavor is called when you take the sample," Popo said to Proto Man, who was still reluctant to put the spoon in his mouth. And that's when Proto Man finally realized...

"Hold on, I can't eat this - I'm a robot!" the robot stated as he handed the ice cream sample to Popo, who wouldn't take the spoon. "Might mess up my circuits."

Proto Man: Could've been at the Father's Day pool party with Mega Man, but I got roped into trying out some new ice cream flavor that Popo invented. Most of my time was wasted on Popo making the ice cream look "presentable".

"C'mon Proto Man - don't be a chicken!" said Popo as he took his hands away from Nana's mouth, before grabbing a random gallon of milk. "Here, take this milk - it'll help wash it down."

"Doubt that it'll help any..." replied Proto Man, finding it awfully suspect that drinking milk after consuming the ice cream was necessary. Falco entered the Ice Climbers' room, looking disappointed when he saw Popo holding the milk.

"Really, Popo? Milk?" Falco shook his head at the Ice Climber, as he was on the verge of going on another vegan spiel. "It's a good thing that I don't drink milk anymore."

"But it's just milk, not like it's gonna kill you," stated Nana, who couldn't imagine any person refraining from drinking milk unless they were lactose-intolerant.

"True dat, but it counts as dairy. And dairy can mess up your digestive system if you consume too much of it. What if I told you..."

"'Too much' is the key phrase here, right?" interjected Proto Man, as he didn't want to hear any more crap out of Falco's mouth. "Look around, Falco - no one is having too much of anything. Except maybe King Dedede."

"I'm just trying to warn you..." Falco said to Proto Man and the Ice Climbers, pointing at the three as he left the room. He hoped that his words didn't fall on deaf ears...but he wasn't expecting anyone to speak out against him later.


Back at the pool, Robin and Luigi were putting sunscreen on. Then, Robin got trapped by a lifesaver that had fallen from the top.

"Wh-what the?" uttered Robin as he saw the lifesaver on him, as Luigi eventually got trapped too.

"I'm-a scared!" panicked Luigi - not too surprising since he was a bit of a coward. Surely Robin showed a bit more bravery.

"Me too, Luigi! Me too!" The folks that were throwing the life savers were Joker and Kasumi, who were perched up above.

"One hundred points!" exclaimed Joker, as he and Kasumi were all tied up; whoever got another person trapped in a lifesaver would take the lead.

"Really wish that you could keep this job," Kasumi said to Joker, knowing that the young man still had obligations to fill at Cafe Leblanc. "You and I would be having fun all summer!"

"Joker!" Earnest called out the young man after blowing into his whistle, as he pointed at the trapped Robin and Luigi. "Here! Now!"

"Kazuya, you got a minute?" Mario asked the businessman, whom he saw passing by holding some pink lemonade in his hand. "I need you to kidnap-a Denzel, and run away."

"And what do I do after that?" asked Kazuya; if he was going to be kidnapping anyone, he would need an actual place to run to. Because how else would he hide the body?

"I dunno, you seem-a evil enough to pull it off well. I wanna see how Cloud will react, and how he'll retrieve-a Denzel from your clutches."

"Basically you want me to get in trouble...you can count me out." Kazuya walked away, as Mario snapped his fingers in disgust. Spyro, meanwhile, was keeping a close eye on Mario.

Kazuya: I would much rather find myself in hot water for killing my father than kidnapping a child. And besides, killing is easy and much, much more effective.

Joker found himself in big trouble, as he stood with Earnest in front of the pool supplies building. It didn't take him that long to find himself in the doghouse.

"You gave me your word that you would respect the safety rules of this municipal pool!" Earnest scolded Joker, as he strangely had a few tears running down his eyes. Kasumi was right when he said that Earnest took his job seriously.

"Earnest, are you crying?" Joker asked the lifeguard, who tried to hide the evidence as wiped his eyes. Too late; Joker already caught him in the act.

Earnest: This lifeguard job is the first job I've had ever since I came off the streets...and that Joker is trying to ruin it. He's being too much of a wildcard!

"That's not important right now!" replied Earnest, hoping that he had wiped most of his tears away. "You are on thin ice, boy! You wanna keep this job? Well, some maniac broke into the supplies closet unseen and stole our large water cooler. I want you on a stakeout. If one more supply gets taken, you're fired - and I might be fired as well!"

"I won't let you down!" assured Joker, hoping to earn Earnest's trust as he gave the lifeguard a salute. He couldn't possibly screw things up. Meanwhile, Kazuya was sneaking from around the corner, dragging a large water cooler across the ground unseen.

"This will do..." the businessman said as he glanced at the large water cooler, before seeing Heihachi resting on a beach chair near the pool. "...this will do."


Those who were bothered by Falco - Akuma, Samus, Villager, Proto Man, and a slew of others - took their complaints to Zelda about how Falco had been lecturing them. Zelda then took these complaints to Toadsworth, the Toad who tried to set Falco on the right foot.

"This must be my fault..." lamented Toadsworth, who was looking down at the floor in shame as he shook his head. "...I tried to instruct Falco, but I've fed him too much information!"

"Maybe you should've filled him in more on 'how' to be a vegan," suggested Zelda, willing to give Toadsworth a C-minus for his efforts. "Reading facts to him wasn't going to help."

"Not to point any fingers, but you and Link are to blame as well, princess. You promised to partake in this initiative, did you not?"

"Yes, but we've had our hands full this week. Next week we'll get through to him, hopefully..."


Once the "pool party" ended after the pool closed, Toad took everyone (except for Joker) back home. Rather than being at the tower, Guile instead went to the mansion to lament about a truck that he wanted.

"Earnest refused to concede his Ford truck," Guile complained to Lucario, who was doing his best to ignore the major as he meditated in the living room. "Asked him many times, but he kept turning me down!"

"Wouldn't be very American to beg another man for his vehicle, would it?" questioned Lucario, as Kazuya was conspicuously dragging the large water cooler from the pool through the living room. Kazuya wouldn't get that far when he ran into Sonic.

"Hey, have you seen your pops anywhere?" Sonic asked Kazuya, who was trying to make his leave quickly to avoid any suspicion. "He still has my fingernail trimmers."

"I have not seen him since we got back home," replied Kazuya, as some weird noises were heard from the water cooler. Kazuya kicked the cooler, as the noises stopped. "But you'll find him soon."

"Man, I sure hope so...I can feel my nails cutting through my gloves!" As Sonic looked at his hands, Kazuya dragged the water cooler past the blue hedgehog. The weird noises from the cooler started back up again, as Sonic turned around at Kazuya.


While Guile lamented over the truck, Mario was lamenting over the fact that he didn't learn anything from observing Cloud at the pool. Cloud was more focused on relaxing than anything, much to Mario's apparent chagrin.

"All he did was sit around-a at the pool," Mario said to Peach and Spyro in the living room, as he sat on his favorite sofa. "That is no way to spend-a your time at a pool party!"

"To be fair, there wasn't much for him to do," stated Peach, as Spyro saw Hunter making haste towards the front door with determination in his eyes.

"Hunter, where are you going?" Spyro asked the cheetah, who came to a halt and flinched just as he had his hand on the doorknob. Hunter turned around so that he could state his current mission.

"Off to rescue a bunch of inflatable ducks," replied Hunter, holding a fist to his chest and smiling with pride. "The inflatable duck revolution is upon us!"

"The inflatable what now...?" Spyro furrowed his brow as Hunter ran out of the house without saying another word. Spyro exchanged weird looks with Mario and Peach, wondering what had gotten into Hunter.


Pit: Phew...only an hour until dinner and I'll be free from working at the cafe! The only thing, though, is that I need Joker to deactivate my ankle collar. I can't step foot out of the cafe with it turned on. With that being said, using the bathroom is very hard to come back with no one around to ask permission.

"Here is your chocolate curry..." a mentally drained Pit said to a friend of Noel's sitting at the counter, Jubei. He presented the bowl of curry to Jubei, who stared at it inquisitively.

"I can't eat this, I'm a cat," Jubei said to Pit, who had enough as he collapsed onto the counter. Upon overhearing Jubei, whom he was sitting close to, Corrin gasped at the cat warrior out of shock.

"This is the longest you have gone without killing each other," Noel said to Ragna and Jin, as she and Mai were standing over the two brothers. A lot of bad blood was brewing regardless.

"Yeah, we should totally document this!" exclaimed Mai, and Ragna and Jin were both outraged by this idea as they were both frowning.

"Don't you dare!" Ragna and Jin shouted simultaneously as they pointed at Mai, only to then point at each other. "And stop copying me! GRRAAAH!"

"Guess who's back...back again?" asked a certain delinquent, as Pit instantly perked up when he saw Ryuji enter the cafe along with Ann. Ryuji was let down by the lack of reception. "Aw, where's the fanfare?"

"Nobody likes you like that," Ann smiled at Ryuji, who refused to believe as such as he looked the other way. Pit noticed right away that Joker was not present.

"Where's Joker?" the angel asked Ann and Ryuji, who came over to the counter which was terribly crowded. "I can't leave unless he returns."

"Joker is...he's kinda busy tonight. We promised not to tell anyone where he was..."


That night, Joker was at the pool on a stakeout, as he wore his lifeguard hat. He had to keep his eyes peeled for the trespasser, wherever he was.

"Alright, Joker, here's the plan," Joker said to himself, as he was surveying the surrounding area. "Catch the trespasser, protect the supplies, and earn Eernest's trust." The young man suddenly heard a sound, from the fence. "Freeze...Dr. Wily?"

"I, uh, I'm sleepwalking!" said Wily, whom Joker had caught cutting the fence with a large pair of scissors. "Also now I'm sleep talking. Nice lifeguard hat, by the way."

"You! You're the one destroying pool supplies!" Joker pointed accusingly at Wily, seeing the robot inventor as the likeliest case for being the trespasser.

"What? No! My crime is a lot better than that. I'm gonna get that seat and be ready in the morning when E. Gadd comes. And maybe I'll destroy some pool supplies. Night's still young."

Dr. Light: I cannot believe that Dr. Wily! Losing his marbles over that beach chair. I mean, I wanted to sit in that chair myself, but it's fine to let others have an opportunity. Wily has never believed in such a concept.

Joker blew into his whistle, and Wily slowly backed off. Wily couldn't let Joker blow his cover.

"Yeesh, alright, I'm going!" said Wily as he walked away, before running to the pool. Joker made chase after Wily, as Kazuya emerged from a bush with a large water cooler.

"Your time is up, old man..." Kazuya said to the water cooler...or more specifically however was trapped inside, as Kazuya loaded the cooler unto a golf cart. Kazuya was about to make his move, until...

"Hey! Who's there?" shouted Joker, completely forgetting about chasing Wily as he went over to speak with Kazuya. "Kazuya? Is there anyone not breaking into the pool tonight? What, is Hunter here too?"

"I'm okay!" assured Hunter, who had climbed up over the fence and landed on the ground. He was on his mission to save the inflatable ducks.

"Get lost, Hunter..." Joker commanded the cheetah, not even bothering to give him any eye contact. All these people breaking in were bothering him.

"You got it." Hunter got up and tried to jump over the fence, only to realize that he wasn't tall enough. No amount of jumping could remedy the issue.

"So, why are you here?" Joker returned his attention to Kazuya, only to hear a throat-clearing sound from the cooler. Sounded like Heihachi. "Did that cooler just clear its throat?"

"Don't be ridiculous," replied Kazuya as he kicked the water cooler to make the sound stop. "Heihachi Mishima certainly isn't in there, if that's what you're implying. Who said anything about that?"

"Kazuya, I don't have time for your games. If you don't give me that water cooler, I'll be in big trouble!"

"I understand." Kazuya needed a distraction to get away, as he pointed in the distance. "Hey, look! Makoto in a bikini!"

"Really? At night?" As Joker turned his head, Kazuya grabbed the water cooler and made a run for it. Joker didn't notice until a second later. "Kazuya!"

Pool Jail Kid: They really left without me... *sighs* ...we can't all be saved.

"I'll be finally rid of you forever!" Kazuya said to whoever was in the water cooler, hoping in the golf cart and driving off. Joker chased after the businessman while wielding a megaphone.

"Hand over the water cooler in the name of pool law!" Joker shouted at the retreating Kazuya with the megaphone, as Kazuya showed no signs of slowing down. Kazuya would never listen to a young man like Joker.

"Pool law is dumb! And so is your hat!" As Kazuya got further away, Joker took out a water balloon and threw it at the businessman. Kazuya dodged it in the nick of time, seeing a lake just up ahead as he and Joker ran out of the pool.

"The coast is clear..." said Wily as he emerged from the restroom unseen, before finding the beach chair and sitting on it. "...now all I have to do is wait here 15 hours until the pool opens...this was a good plan."


Since Joker was on a stakeout, there was no telling when Pit's shift at the cafe would end. Joker was the only person that could turn off Pit's ankle collar, which would be necessary for Pit to leave the cafe. And because of this, Pit had to stick around and serve the guests.

"Looks like I'm the last man standing..." said Pit, as his friends Kirby, Viridi, and Incineroar had already left. They were off enjoying dinner, while he was stuck behind the counter.

"We can't stay cooped up in this cafe forever," Ragna said to Jin, as the two brothers were somehow able to hold in their violent intentions for each other. "Wanna go outside and kill each other?"

"Took the words right out of my mouth..." replied Jin - so much for holding in those violent thoughts. Ragna and Jin both left the cafe, as Noel figured that the two would be at each other's neck soon.

"Take me with you!" Pit pleaded to Ragna and Jin, only for the two brothers to ignore the angel as he left the cafe. Pit moaned in sadness.


Kazuya eventually reached the lake in the golf cart, and the lake was where he hoped to drop Heihachi into the water. All his troubles would only be worth it if Heihachi sank to the bottom of the lake and drowned.

"Alright, the jig is up!" Joker shouted at Kazuya as he caught up to the businessman. "Hand over that cooler!" Kazuya wouldn't be handing over anything as he knelt down and opened the cooler.

"Fat chance..." Kazuya frowned at Joker, as he opened the water cooler and pulled someone out by the by...his own dad, Heihachi. Joker was stunned, as he saw Heihachi coughing a few times after being flung to the ground.

"Kazuya...?" Heihachi looked up at Kazuya, as he coughed a few more times. He was even coughing out water, which was a worrisome sign. "Why are you doing this?"

"It's about time I end you, once and for all." Kazuya pulled Heihachi up to his feet, about to toss his old man into the lake like how he would toss any person into a volcano. "Prepare to say your last..."

Suddenly a blue blur emerged from nearby, as Sonic appeared and delivered a mean spin dash to Kazuya. Kazuya would let go of Heihachi, before losing his balance and falling into the lake.

"Nice job, Sonic!" commended Lavenza, who managed to catch up to the blue hedgehog as she clapped her hands in approval. Heihachi suddenly got down on one knee, still choking, only to fall down on his back. "Oh, dear! Heihachi!"

"Joker you're a lifeguard! Give him CPR!" Sonic told the young man, who refused to do so as he didn't want his lips touching Heihachi's. Feeling that he had no choice in the matter, Joker sucked up his pride as he knelt down at Heiahchi and resuscitated him through mouth-to-mouth.

"I hate this! I hate this!" Joker complained during the resuscitation process, as Heihachi was coughing out more water. At least the CPR was working.

"Blackmail!" laughed Sonic, as he snapped a quick photo of Joker giving Heihachi CPR. Lavenza looked at Sonic, who quickly held his phone behind his back.

Sonic: Lavenza would hate it if I send that photo myself. Might as well let Tails do it - nobody would ever suspect him!

Joker's mouth-to-mouth resuscitation, as Heihachi eventually stopped choking. Heihachi was back to breathing normally, clutching his neck as Joker helped him up to his feet.

"Thank you for saving me," Heihachi thanked Joker, seeing the young man as a lifesaver. Only had one major gripe, though. "But why didn't you just give me the Heimlich maneuver?"

"I'm not really a lifeguard, as you may know," Joker smiled sheepishly, as Heihachi was wiping his mouth in disgust. The feeling he shared with Joker was perfectly mutual.


Those at the "pool party" were left unsatisfied when Dingo's Diner provided catering, as most of the food offered was of poor quality. So they were more than happy campers when the dinner for tonight was grilled chicken, prepared by Pyra. Mythra was only entrusted to do the seasoning.

"Sorry that I can't enjoy your chicken, because of my new vegan lifestyle," Falco apologized to Pyra, as the avian pilot had a salad for his dinner. That salad made him feel like the odd one out. "Speaking of chicken, did you know that it can..."

"Nobody cares, Falco," replied Pyra, serving herself from an earful as she retreated back to the kitchen. Falco resumed eating his salad, as Zelda was calmly looking on with Midna at her side.

"He's become too smart for his own good," Midna whispered to Zelda, wondering what kinds of info Toadsworth was feeding Falco. "Better put him in his place before it gets worse."

Zelda: I know that Link and I have to reason with Falco, but...he can be a very tough person to please. With his new attitude, it might only make the job even harder.

"How nice of you to share your portions, Cloud," Sephiroth commended the swordsman, who offered a piece of grilled chicken to Denzel. It was a big piece, too; perhaps Cloud couldn't handle it.

"Shut up," responded Cloud, doing his best to ignore Sephiroth, as Spyro entered the dining room and went over to where Cloud was sitting. "Yes, Spyro?"

"You got a minute?" Spyro asked Cloud, who looked around before getting up from his seat. Denzel watched as Cloud left with Spyro...and so did Sephiroth.


Fortunately, Kazuya did not drown, as he was able to pull himself up out of the lake. When the businessman pulled himself up to the surface, he saw that Joker, Heihachi, and the water cooler were all gone.

"Lousy hedgehog..." frowned Kazuya as he coughed out some water, knowing that Sonic was the one who stopped him from drowning Heihachi. "...he will pay for what he did."


With the water cooler in tow, Joker returned to the pool to bring the cooler back to the pool supplies building. However, he feared for the worst when he saw the head lifeguard and Earnest surveying the damage that was done.

"A wrecked fence? And a stolen golf cart too?!" the pool operator boomed when he saw the fence, as Earnest feared that he might be fired on the spot. "Who is responsible for this?!"

"It's my fault, sir, I'm sorry," Joker apologized to the pool operator, taking some of the heat off of Earnest. "I got in too deep."

"Hand over the whistle!" So Joker handed over the whistle to the pool operator, who then put it in his mouth and crushed it with his teeth. Joker and even Earnest slowly backed away. "If one more thing goes wrong..."

"You're free now! Free!" shouted Hunter, who was throwing inflatable ducks over the fence. The pool operator caught the cheetah red-handed. "Inflatable ducks unite!

"You!" The pool operator chased after Hunter, who screamed his head off as the head lifeguard chased him away. Freeing the inflatable ducks certainly came with a price.

Hunter: I was unable to jump back over the fence, despite my superb jumping skills, so I went ahead and saved the inflatable ducks. Could've waited until the morning, but what better time to risk being banned from the pool than now?


Mario was having dinner at this house, as he had cooked some meatloaf. It was only him, Peach, and Jennifer, as Spyro and Hunter had left the house.

"Guess Spyro didn't care for your meatloaf," Peach said to Mario, who noticed that Spyro's meatloaf was mostly untouched. Hunter's plate remained untouched, under the pretense that Hunter would return home soon.

"Barely even gave it a nibble, what a guy..." said Mario, whose hopes were uplifted as Spyro returned to Mario's house - while also bringing a guest along. "...Spyro, you're back! And you bought-a Cloud! Where's Denzel?"

"That's beside the point," replied Cloud as he closed the front door behind him, with all his attention focused on Mario. Mario could tell that the swordsman was ticked off with him. "Why were you spying on me at the pool, Mario?"

"Dang it, Spyro! Told you not to blow-a my cover." Mario now found himself in hot water, as Cloud took a seat in Hunter's chair and looked Mario in the eye.

"Yeah, that's what Spyro told me. Also mentioned that you wanted Fox and Kazuya to put Denzel in danger. What was that all about?"

"I just...wanted to see how you would-a react." Mario had a smile on his face, but it wasn't enough to quell Cloud's mood. "I couldn't learn-a from your ways at the pool?"

"Word of the wise, Mario...some dads are allowed to take days off." Having said his piece, Cloud rose up from the table, hoping that Mario would take his advice to heart. "Nothing wrong with taking a rest."

"Even if you have a second-a child on the way?" Feeling that the answer was super obvious, Cloud nodded in response to Mario's question. "I see that I still have a lot-a to learn..."


Because of the destruction that was done, Joker was relieved of his assistant lifeguard duties. As the young man arrived at the mansion, a water balloon struck his face.

"Hey, Joker!" said the person responsible for throwing the water balloon, Kasumi, as she greeted Joker near the mansion porch. "You will never guess what happened. I got fired!"

"What? Really?" asked Joker, as he didn't feel so bad about being fired anymore. He and Kasumi were now in the same boat.

"Yeah. I guess my boss found out I was taking too many snacks." Kasumi took out her beach tote and opened it, revealing a bunch of snacks inside. Joker smirked, as Kasumi zipped her tote back up. "We can always break the rules at Cafe Leblanc."

"Wouldn't be so sure about that, I do run that place after all." Joker tried to look serious at first, only to crack a smile. "Well, we can break a few rules..."

"I WILL CRUSH YOU, BROTHER!" Jin was heard shouting from the backyard, as there was some fighting taking place. Joker and Kasumi crept to the backyard where they saw Ragna and Jin duking it out.

"Those must be the guests that Yu invited," Joker said to Kasumi, as he recalled the description that Yu had given to him of Noel's friends. And acquaintances. "Nice to see that Pit probably drove them insane."

"Or maybe they just hate each other," Kasumi assumed as she smiled, and she was right on the money. It appeared as if Ragna and Jin would be brawling the entire night - or until one was out of breath.


While Joker had left the pool, Wily remained sitting in the beach chair. He was going to sit in that beach chair until the morning so that he could see E. Gadd and gloat. Provided that E. Gadd would even show up.

"Guess that I've already won," smirked Wily as he tried to fold his arms behind his head...only to realize that he couldn't move his arms at all! "What the..." Wily's arms were stuck to the chair, as well as the rest of his body. "Somebody get the spatulas!"

E. Gadd: I may have predicted Dr. Wily's plan - which was why I coated the entire chair with glue after the pool closed. Serves him right for pantsing me. He'll be enjoying the chair...forever!