Author's Note:
2022 was a crazy year, but perhaps not as crazy as 2021. And what better way to sum up all the craziness (or most of it) than with a year-end chapter? This one is themed after Festivus, a holiday celebrated on December 23. for those of you who don't know, Festivus is a holiday meant as an alternative to the pressures and commercialism that comes with the Christmas holiday season and was popularized on Seinfeld. A show that I'm a fan of (a Smash Life chapter in 2020 was even a Seinfeld parody). Before I move along, a few notes:
-I have gone back and fixed something in chapter 359. For most of you wondering how Cloud still had his translator after chapter 359, you can go back and find out what I did.
-This chapter is actually a rewrite of the original chapter 366 (albeit with the help of copy and paste). Even with Christmas shopping, I still had time to write. Being off from work for two weeks is gonna be a boon for me.
Since I've run out of stuff to write about for a lengthy author's note, I'll just do the usual fare and answer some reviews. So let's get it:
"Random Pikmin fact of the day #2: Did you know Olimar has canonically smoked weed? It's implied he 'tried' it in the original Japanese translation of Pikmin 2, but in the European version, the…cough..leaf was changed to be that of a maple tree."
No surprise there - Olimar does spend his day job interacting with plant life. Also, the man looks stoned a hundred percent of the time. Guy w the Jokes has a suggestion:
"Bring back Rappin' Ryu. Maybe have him rap some more fire bars. I don't know, maybe that will impress Chun-Li."
Chun-li has never seen Ryu rap before, has she? It would give her a whole new perspective on Ryu. Rappin' Ryu was entertaining the first time around, so I'll need to deliver an encore performance. Moving on...
"...since you're talking about Crash Team Rumble, what do you think the game will play? Will it be a shooter game like Plants vs Zombies: Garden Warfare, or will it be a MOBA-style game, like Pokemon Unite? Because a Crash MOBA does sound interesting...Also, I hope Tawna can have some moments with Crash. Really want to see that guy score."
Feel like it'll be a MOBA-style game, but with a few unique elements thrown into the mix. As for Tawna, she will have some moments with Crash soon. Alternate Tawna is still out and about, mind you. Now it's time for Guy w the Jokes' sweater joke:
"What should you do when you see a jalapeno outside your door? Wear a sweater, because it gets "chili" outside...Eh? Good advice, no? Haha."
I'd say it's great advice. Great joke, by the way. An NFL fan has a question about Link's football fandom:
"...Link said at the beginning of the story that he's a Vikings fan, but since Super Bowl 2018, Link is more of an Eagles fan now. Well, since both teams are doing good now, who do you think Link will support for this year? Minnesota or Philadelphia?"
Whichever team is doing better at the moment. That said, the Eagles. Fly, Eagles, Fly. (Would love to see a Bills-Eagles Super Bowl.) David has questions, with a few more wrestling questions than usual:
"Is Pit gonna fanboy over John Cena returning for the final SmackDown of 2022? How will Asuka react to Asuka's heel turn and going back to her Kana gimmick? Is anyone in the Smash Mansion a fan of Alpha Academy and Elias? (I feel that Triple H is making them into jobbers now). A small scene of 9-Volt holding a memorial to the closure of the 3DS and Wii U eShop? Do most of the mansion residents lean more towards support for Nohr or Hoshido? (Been on a Fire Emblem Fates binge lately). And finally, what are your thoughts on the Pokémon anime finally retiring Ash's character?"
He will. There will be no reaction from Asuka. No one in the mansion is a fan of either wrestling act. No memorial for the 3DS/Wii U eShop closure. The mansion residents lean more towards supporting Nohr. And the anime picked the right time to retire Ash, now that he's the very best like no one ever was. Team Rocket is gonna have to harrass another kid from now on. Last but not least, Some Smash news with...some Smash news:
"Well, while Nintendo basically canceled Smash World Tour, and Panda Cup got postponed thanks to the bad PR they get, there's still a final tournament to celebrate the year of competitive Smash. The Scuffed World Tour, held by the popular YouTuber Ludwig, recently finished in grand fashion in both Ultimate AND Melee. The Ultimate one is won by Sparg0, a Cloud player from Mexico, while the Melee one is won by aMSa, a Yoshi player (!) from Japan! Well, I guess it's time for the Nerf gun celebrations! But I don't think Master Hand will do a celebration for Cloud, tho, considering what currently happened in the story. I guess it's time to celebrate Yoshi! Yoshi, of all the characters, man."
Muahahahaha...let the Nerfing begin! (But only at a later time.)
Oh my, how could I forget?! Merry Christmas, and Happy Festivus!
Episode 366: Festivus (for the rest of us)
The holiday season in 2022 has been an interesting one for Cloud and Aerith, to say the least. For starters, they weren't in Seattle, with the others at the mansion - rather, they were in Arcadia Bay. At no point was there given any indication of when they would return.
But it wasn't all bad, for they did have some company. Gex and the rest of his gang - Tharja, Henry, Big, Cream, Funky Kong, Bandanna Waddle Dee, and Kicks - were always around to keep Cloud and Aerith company. Max and Chloe were also included, although they didn't show up nearly as much as Gex's troupe did.
Cloud detested Gex's troupe in the past, unnerved by how much he ran into them around town. Called them pests sometimes, or even dorks other times. But after the special thing that Gex's group did two episodes ago, Cloud finally came around and accepted the ragtag group of misfits. So much so, that even called them "family".
Gex wore this family moniker like a badge, as he and his pals did everything in their power to endear themselves to Cloud. For instance, the group stopped by Aerith's house today to help Aerith decorate her house - something that Cloud wasn't keen on doing. Cloud and Aerith oversaw the work being done.
"Oh Christmas tree, oh Christmas tree...oh how I love you, Christmas tree," sang Gex as he and Big were decorating a Christmas tree in Aerith's living room. Big tried to reach for the top of the tree to put the star on.
"Please stop singing, it's horrible," Tharja pleaded to Gex, as she and Henry were hanging Christmas stockings on the chimney. Henry checked inside each stocking, hoping to find some Christmas candy.
"You're right - I may have possibly botched the lyrics. Aretha Franklin is probably rolling in her grave right now." Gex would hum the rest of the song, as Big was still unable to put the star atop the Christmas tree.
"This might be embarrassing, but...I need a ladder," requested Big; Funky Kong would come through as he ran up to Big and lifted the purple cat off his feet, with all his might. "You know what, I'll take this instead!"
"Hurry up and put the star on already..." Funky Kong said to Big, his legs quivering as he couldn't support Big's weight anymore. Big placed the star on the Christmas tree and was satisfied.
"There we go! Perfect." Soon Funky Kong collapsed from Big's weight, as the gorilla collapsed to the floor in an instant. Funky was lying on the floor exhausted, with Big sitting on top of him.
"You know, Big dressing up as Santa Claus was a missed opportunity," Aerith said to Cloud; with his big belly and joyous nature, Big was easily a great candidate for portraying Santa Claus.
"It's good that he didn't, no one would want to sit on his lap," commented Cloud, as Aerith smiled at the swordsman and nudged him in his side. Cloud at that moment didn't know that you could be nudged for speaking facts.
"You know what today is? December 23nd," stated Gex, leaving everyone to wonder why he was so hyped about announcing today's date. Maybe it was someone's birthday. "Today is the day of Festivus!"
Gex: Many Christmases ago, a man went to buy a doll for his son. He reached for the last one they had - but so did another man. As the first man rained blows upon the second man, he realized there had to be another way! The doll was destroyed. But out of that, a new holiday was born. "A Festivus for the rest of us!" And that, friends, is how Festivus was born.
"Isn't that a fake holiday from Seinfeld?" inquired Cloud, who knew a thing or two about Festivus from watching Seinfeld - thought that it was the dumbest holiday ever conceived. "We are not celebrating that."
"Come on Cloud, don't be such a lump on a log!" said Aerith, who had watched the particular Seinfeld episode that featured Festivus and had dreamt of celebrating the holiday ever since. "You are always never fun."
"She is right - why aren't you fun, Cloud?" asked a certain talking book, one that spoke with a Hispanic accent and had a mustache. It was Dr. Hakim, and everyone except for Cloud was drawn to him.
"Now you look here, only Aerith has the right to say that I'm..." Cloud turned his head and nearly screamed in fright when he saw Dr. Hakim, standing in the living room. "...Dr. Hakim?"
"Si, si, si! It is I, Dr. Hakim! Worldwide best seller and an expert on love! I've helped millions of couples, and you, Cloud and Aerith, are just one of many!"
"Yes, we know, we saw you dancing after we were saved by D. Va." In Dr. Hakim's mind, Cloud and Aerith were saved by the power of love, rather than by a Korean mech pilot. "What do you want?"
"It has been a while, so I wanted to stop by and see how far you have advanced in your relationship. Have you gone on any dates? Thought about tying the knot? Or is that too soon?"
"Cloud bought me a romantic Christmas gift," stated Aerith, as Cloud looked away and slightly blushed; Cloud didn't intend for his Christmas gift to be romantic at all. "Wanna see?"
"Of course, of course! What this gift is will ultimately determine how much Cloud loves you. Show me, I beg of you!" So Aerith led Dr. Hakim out of the living room, remembering where she put her Christmas gift at.
"Don't open that gift, Aerith!" Cloud called out to the flower girl, wanting Aerith to save her gift until Christmas. Thinking that Aerith didn't hear her, Cloud sighed as he sat on the couch.
"Heads up...there's no candy in those stockings," Bandanna Waddle Dee came over to whisper to Henry, who moaned in sadness as he stopped decorating in a heartbeat. As Cloud sat on the couch, he heard someone knocking on the window from outside.
"Cloud? Can you hear me? Cloud!" the person that knocked on the window shouted to the swordsman, who looked over and was surprised to see Hal. Getting up, Cloud went to the window and opened it.
"Hal Emmerich? How did you..." Cloud was about to ask Hal, who shushed Cloud before holding his finger up to the swordsman's lips. Hal checked behind Cloud and saw Gex and friends still decorating.
"Can you come outside for a moment?" Hal whispered to Cloud, who looked around cautiously before stepping out through the window. Once outside, Cloud closed the window.
"Okay, Hal, how did you even get here? Sombra gave you a translocator too?" Cloud would soon find his answer when he looked into the distance and saw Peppy Hare standing next to his Arwing.
"Good seeing you, Cloud!" Peppy called out to the swordsman as he waved to him before a wing fell from his Arwing seconds later. Peppy looked at the fallen wing despondently. "Erm...I can fix this. Perhaps."
"Peppy was my only ride," admitted Hal, as Peppy tried to attach the broken wing back to the Arwing only to watch it fall right off. "Anyway, I came here to tell you some secret info that I gained from Snake."
"What secret info, that Master Hand dislikes me? Already figured that out." Cloud knew exactly why Master Hand disliked him so, and he still yearned to hear it out of the horse's mouth.
"No, well...his dislike has something to do with it. I was chatting with Snake, and he told me that your stay in Arcadia Bay is..."
"OOOOOWWW!" Peppy shouted in pain, as the broken wing from his Arwing fell on his foot. Peppy held his foot in pain; he yelled so loud that the documentary crew was unable to pick up on Cloud and Hal's secret conversation.
"Guess that explains some things," Cloud said in response to whatever Hal told him; too bad that we couldn't hear a thing. "It's kind of starting to make sense."
"It was in my best interest to let you know as soon as possible," responded Hal, figuring that he would be in big trouble if it was discovered that he was sharing some secrets with Cloud. "Also, they figured that..."
"I don't mean to cut you off, but I assume that by 'they', you mean Link and Zelda." A nod from Hal essentially confirmed what Cloud had suspected.
"Link and Zelda want you back. Snake wants you back. Everyone wants you back, Cloud. Except for Master Hand, but that's kinda obvious..."
Snake: Not gonna lie, I kind of miss having Cloud at the mansion for the holidays. Don't ever tell him I said that. Without him, the whole vibe just seems off. The days leading up to Christmas haven't felt the same without Cloud complaining about how flashy the Christmas lights are, or how he wants the least amount of Christmas presents. He's like a more affable Shadow. *pauses* Don't tell him I said that.
"Cloud? How'd you get outside?" Aerith called out to the swordsman from inside her home, standing at the window. The flower girl opened the window, and everyone in the living room gathered around her.
"Is Hal Emmerich sharing with you his list of family-unfriendly anime?" asked Gex, knowing from the jump that Hal was an otaku obsessed with many forms of Japanese entertainment. "Ask him to give me a copy of that list so that I'll know which anime to avoid. Wink, wink."
"Aerith...I think it's time," Cloud said to the flower girl as he walked over to the window, with a big announcement that he wanted to share. "We're going back to the mansion."
"YES! The time has arrived," shouted Dr. Hakim as he looked up to the heavens, his fists shaking with exceeding joy. "Cloud, Aerith, it is time to leave this nest and fly away like love birds!"
"Okay, Dr. Hakim, it isn't that serious..." While Dr. Hakim was doing his happy dance, Cloud turned his attention to Gex's troupe, having to say his farewell. "...well, you guys, it's been real."
"I know you're not gonna force your way back to the mansion without us," said Bandanna Waddle Dee, armed with his spear like he wanted to teach Master Hand a lesson in respect.
"Yeah, Master Hand will do all that he can to keep you out and we won't let him!" vowed Kicks, who desired to be backup for Cloud - even if it meant he couldn't throw hands.
"One should never leave their family behind," stated Cream, and that got Cloud to smirk a bit; the respect Cloud had for Gex's troupe couldn't be understated.
"Sadly, not everyone can fit in Peppy's Arwing," Hal informed Cloud, watching as Peppy was struggling mightily to repair his Awwing. "But I do know a trick with your translator, Cloud...may I see it?"
"I hope to get to the mansion soon," remarked Gex, as Cloud took his translocator out of his pocket and gave it to Hal. "Wonder if they're celebrating Festivus!"
"Does anyone even care about Festivus?" wondered Hal, expecting the others to voice their disapproval of the holiday. Quite frankly, he was the only one being a hater.
With Christmas getting closer and closing, Anna felt inclined to invite several guests to the mansion to enjoy the mansion's many holiday attractions. Some of these guests included Noah of Keves, and Mio of Agnus - along with their allies Eunie, Taion, Lanz, and Sena. Noah and Mio were in the living room, checking out an aluminum pole that was in the corner.
"This is the blandest holiday decoration I have ever seen - and I've only seen a few so far," remarked Noah, thinking that the pole didn't vibe with the Christmas decorations. Even if it was in the far corner of the living room.
"It looks so drab, I feel bored just from staring at it," stated Mio, before looking over her shoulder and seeing Mewtwo fixing some Christmas lights that were draped from the fireplace. "Is anyone going to decorate this pole?" Mio asked Mewtwo.
"Pole isn't meant to be decorated," replied Mewtwo, who hovered away from the fireplace after fixing the Christmas lights. The way in which the lights were hanging low bothered the psychic Pokemon. "Giving it any sort of decoration will 'ruin the tradition.'"
"It's all part of Festivus! Yes, yes!" proclaimed Tom Nook, who placed a last-minute Christmas gift under the Christmas tree. "A Festivus, for the rest of us!" Noah and Mio reminded confused as ever, despite Tom Nook's excitement.
Zelda: The other times we had an opportunity to celebrate Festivus, Master Hand wasn't so game. Only a few of us celebrated it. You'd think that Master Hand would celebrate every holiday under the sun, even those that seemingly originated in a 90s sitcom. But this year, he's all about Festivus; in fact, we're going to have a Festivus dinner later today. I hope that today's celebration doesn't come with any ulterior motives...
"Anyone care for some egg nog?" someone asked, as a certain fighter entered the living room with some egg nog and a few small glasses. It was Masaru Takahara, and he made his presence known as he delivered a high kick. "Hiya!"
"Please don't kick the Christmas tree," Mewtwo pleaded to Masaru, whose foot nearly grazed the Christams tree. Had Masaru's kick connected with the tree, the tree would be down for the count.
Anna: Masaru Takahara was deceptively easy to lure to the mansion. All I had to do was write him a letter, saying that Terry Bogard wanted to fight him. Terry is going to thank me later if he gets his butt kicked. There were seven other individuals like Masaru I wanted to invite, but they're all scattered throughout time so getting them would be a hassle.
"You guys can get some egg nog if you want," Masaru offered to Noah and Mio, before pouring some egg nog into a glass and taking a sip from it. "Nothing like a swig to get you into the holiday spirit!"
"No thank you, this 'egg nog' sounds suspect to us," replied Noah, as Mio frowned at the young woman wondering when he spoke for her. Noah saw Mio frowning at him, and asked, "Any idea what the others are up to?"
"Why are you so worried..." muttered Mio, left in a bad mood as she walked away from Noah. Noah watched Mio leave, wondering what he had done to upset his friend.
But it was a good question - what were Eunie, Taion, Lanz, and Sena up to? The Black Knight formally invited the four to an outdoor tea party, which was held outside the mansion. The four were in attendance, along with another foursome - Frederica Aesfrost, Benedict Pascal, Roland Glenbrook, and the leader of the group, Serenoa Woffort.
"I hate that this tea party is out in the cold..." remarked Taion, who was shivering from head to toe as he had his arms folded. The young man had yet to sip from his cup of hot tea, which would certainly cool him down.
"This would be the perfect tea spot for Erador," stated Serenoa, holding his teacup gently in his hands only to put it down when his hands got hot. "He can yell as much as he wants to without repercussion."
"No indoor voice, eh? He must be an idiot," said Eunie, throwing unnecessary shade toward a person she didn't even know. Serenoa looked at Eunie, taken back by the girl's comments.
"Don't mind her, she's always in a mood," Lanz told Serenoa, knowing what Eunie was all about as he was a childhood friend of hers growing up. "She is always saying whatever's on her mind!"
"Can't say that we expected anything less from a girl with wings on her head," quipped Frederica, rattling Eunie's feathers a bit - no pun intended. Eunie was about to clap back, rising from her seat, only for the Black Knight to give her a look.
"No fighting at the tea table..." the Black Knight warned Eunie, as he was giving Benedict a refill from his tea kettle. Eunie gingerly sat back down in her chair
"Yo, Black Knight, got room for one more?" Sonic asked the Black Knight, as he showed up at the tea party while bringing Conker along. The Black Knight was more than happy to invite Sonic. "Conker would like to join."
"I haven't taken a sip of tea in over twelve years!" Conker randomly cheered, like he was celebrating going sober for a year. In fact, getting Conker sober was Sonic's goal before the end of the year.
"Sorry, but I can't allow it," the Black Knight turned down Conker, whose celebrating came to an end as he appeared sad. "Conker's not dignified enough for the other party guests."
"That's cool...let's go, Conker." So Sonic led Conker away from the tea party, as he was stuck at square one. "Gotta be a sparkling blue suit that you can wear. Chrom could hook us up."
Sonic and Conker didn't get that far from the mansion when they saw a gathering of people outside...the most recognizable person among them being Cloud. Mainly because of his iconic spiky hair.
"That should be everyone," stated Cloud, doing a brief headcount as Aerith and the entirety of Gex's troupe were accounted for. "Not a single person left behind."
"Except Hal and Peppy," joked Tharja, who hardly felt bad that Hal and Peppy were stuck in Arcadia Bay. "And that Dr. Hakim dork." Right on cue, Dr. Hakim appeared, much to Tharja's chagrin. "Seriously...?"
"What can I say, I can never run away from love," stated Dr. Hakim, sensing Tharja's visible disappointment as he did a little strut. Sonic was befuddled by Dr. Hakim, but he didn't care - he was happy to see Cloud again.
Cloud: Learned a cool trick about my translocator, from Hal - apparently, if you hug someone when the translocator is in use, you can bring that person with you to your intended destination. For that reason, I had to hug Gex, Funky Kong, and Big...it would be for the best if you didn't ask me how that experience went. Hugging dudes isn't my cup of tea.
Funky Kong: Cloud hugged me...Cloud legitimately hugged me... *smiles as he sheds a tear from his eye, before wiping the tear away* ...always knew that deep down, Cloud cared about other people. He was just too shy to ever show it.
"Got a text from Max; she's in Seattle with her parents," Cloud told the others, reading a text notification that was sent to her phone. "Chloe came along for the trip, apparently."
"Can't say that I blame Chloe; her stepdad is the WOOOOOORST!" exclaimed Gex, unleashing his inner Jean Ralphio for the whole world to hear. He understood from first-hand experience why Chloe gave her stepdad so many disparaging nicknames.
"Cloud, Aerith, what's up!" greeted Sonic as he and Conker ran over to the two friends...or couple, as Dr. Hakim would prefer them to be identified. "Hey, Big and Cream! So, Cloud, you coming back today?"
"Yes, we are, whether Master Hand likes it or not," responded Cloud, hoping to speak with Master Hand one way or another. "We may need your help, Sonic."
"Need help with sneaking inside?" Sonic had the right solution for an infiltration plot, rubbing his hands with anticipation and excitement. "So you remember those anime cosplay costumes?"
"Don't remind me..." Cloud recalled the time when he was forced to dress up as Naruto Uzumaki, with so many residents begging him to do a Naruto run. "...you want us to use those costumes, don't you?"
Master Hand had a penchant for inviting athletes to the mansion for the holidays, and that was demonstrated best when he invited over the men's Olympic basketball team last year for Christmas and New Year's. This year was more of the same, as he invited several athletes that he intended to attend episode 321's Valentine's Day party to the mansion - Lee, Anthony, John, Charles, Latrell, and Douglas.
Unlike his contemporaries, Lee was happy to be back at the mansion. The young man strolled through the hallway, hands in his pockets as he checked out any new stuff going on since his last visit. He arrived at the lounge, where the trio of Deep Cut - Shiver, Frye, and Big Man - was shooting their news broadcast show Anarchy Splatcast. With Lakitu as the cameraman.
"Listen up! It's going down..." said Shiver, who was sitting next to Frye while Big Man was positioned behind a television screen in the lounge. "...repping the Splatlands, we are DEEP CUT!"
"Anarchy Splatcast! We're live!" announced Frye, expressing her excitement as she raised her fists. Lee was poking his head inside the lounge, before entering the lounge altogether.
"Ay! Ay!" exclaimed Big Man, as Lee didn't understand what the manta ray was saying. Not even Lakitu himself knew. But Shiver and Frye understand Big Man clearly and were more than happy to relay the news.
"That's right, Big Man - we are only two days away from Christmas," announced Shiver, seeing how much holiday spirit Big Man had as evidenced by the Santa hat on the manta ray's head.
"So to amp up the fun, we invested a special guest to our show..." added Frye, and soon enough a woman with multi-colored hair poked her head out from Big Man's TV. It was Iono! "...there she is!"
"Your eyeballs are MINE - caught in my Electroweb! Whosawhatsit? Iono!" exclaimed Iono, walking from behind Big Man's TV as she put a Santa hat on her head and posed for the camera. "Ello, 'ello, hola! Ciao and bonjour!"
"Everyone give a welcome to our special guest, Levancia's own, Iono!" said Shiver, as the Iono Zone was taking over Anarchy Splatfest. If you thought that Iono on Microwave Idol Mamorin was an epic crossover, then you haven't seen anything yet.
"Here I am, with Deep Cut! This Christmas time is the perfect time for us to collab!" Iono dug into her pockets and then threw her hands, up as Christmas gifts were flung out. "I can see it now! I'll be more popular than ever! Nyahahaaa!"
Iono: My collab with Mamori and her friendos didn't go so well. While the episode did get plenty of viewership online, my subscriber total pretty much remained the same. The crossover appeal was nonexistent! However, Deep Cut has plenty of crossover appeal, and I'll use them to become the most subscribed influencer in the...I mean, I'll become the most-liked guest star in the whole world!
"That's cute," smiled Lee, believing that Iono pairing up with Deep Cut made too much sense on paper. Grabbing a Christmas gift that landed at his feet, the young man walked out of the lounge, where he ran into an old face...Ness. "Hey, Ness!"
"Howdy," Ness greeted Lee, who was a self-admitted big fan of Ness. Lee discreetly hid the Christmas gift behind him. "You here for the Festivus dinner?"
"Like the one from Seinfeld? Will there be any meatloaf?" Any Festivus dinner was incomplete without meatloaf served on a bed of lettuce. Whoever was in charge of the dinner better not forget this important dish.
"I dunno, but I did hear that there'll be 'feats of strength'. Apparently, Link is gonna have a wrestling match." Fortunately, Link was no stranger to wrestling; he did wrestle a Goron, albeit while wearing Iron Boots.
"Sure hope he doesn't pick me. I'd hate to embarrass him in front of Princess Zelda." For Lee, humiliating Link would be the best feeling in the world - but he'd happily reserve that feeling for somebody else.
"Yeah, that would be funny. Alright, later." So Ness walked down the hallway, holding his baseball over his shoulder...and when he turned around, he saw Lee accompanying him.
"Mind if I hang out with you? It'll only be for the time being." Only for the time being? That was more than fine on Ness's terms.
Not only did the athletes and Deep Cut get an invite to the mansion, but Lucina's second-gen friends got an invite as well. Two of them, Owain and Cynthia, were at Cafe Leblanc enjoying coffee.
"Chug, chug, chug, chug, chug!" chanted Cynthia, Pit, and several others at the counter as Owain was making a valiant effort to drink an entire jug of egg nog in one gulp. Owain would finish the job, placing the jug on the counter as the crowd cheered.
"There goes the rest of our egg nog...nice going, Owain," Joker muttered at the shepherd, who wiped away the coffee from his mouth. Owain belched, which earned a cheer from Cynthia.
"Joker, how come Cafe Leblanc isn't closed for Festivus?" Pit asked the young man, running up to him to ask his question. Joker was startled by Pit, almost pouring coffee on himself.
"Because Festivus isn't a real holiday. Let me know when McDonald's is closed on December 23rd." Joker was clearly not a fan of Festivus, and it made Pit gasp and clutch his pearls.
"The least you can do is set up an aluminum pole in the cafe," Kirby said to Joker, as he was a true believer of Festivus; he was definitely going to attend the Festivus dinner, just to suck up the meatloaf. And lettuce.
"Wouldn't that clash with the Christmas decorations, though?" inquired Snake, as two women entered the cafe; and both women hailed from Arcadia Bay. "Considering that Festivus is all about being an alternative to Christmas."
"Wow, Snake, I never imagined you to be a Festivus expert," spoke one of the two women, Max Caulfield; the other woman was her friend, Chloe Price.
"What can I say, I watch a whole lot of..." When Snake looked up, he nearly did a double take when he saw Max, standing at the cafe entrance with Chloe. "...M-Max? Who's the guy with the beanie, your boyfriend?"
"What did he just call me?!" an offended Chloe asked, frowning and rolling up her sleeves as she looked to land a sucker punch on Snake. Max had to restrain her friend before any fists were thrown.
"Relax Chloe, he didn't really mean it..." Although Chloe didn't believe Max, she still believed her best friend anyway as she took a step back still frowning. "...this is Chloe Price, my friend from Arcadia Bay. We came to Seattle to visit my parents."
Max: We were already here when Cloud texted. Chloe wanted to see if the mansion was weirder than Cloud let on, and her expectations were blown completely out of the water.
Chloe: *nods head in confirmation, with her arms folded*
Max: *briefly checks her phone, before looking up* According to this other text from Cloud, he's at the mansion with everyone else. He wants his new "family" to force Master Hand into accepting him back into the mansion's family. And he wants us to help out.
Chloe: It's gonna be bonkers.
"Max? As in Max Caulfield?" Pit asked Max as he ran up from behind the counter and approached Max, totally invading her personal space. "You're that photographer Falco told me about!"
"Can you back up please, you're breathing too hard," Chloe said to Pit, as her personal space was too being violated. Pit did as he was told before Chloe had to push him away.
"You have met Cloud Aerith in Arcadia Bay, haven't you? How are they? Do they still remember me?" Pit plastered Max and Chloe with questions, as Max discreetly took her cell phone out to send a text.
Cloud had to go pee, so he went to some forestation to handle his business. In the meantime, Big was entrusted to handle Cloud's phone in the event Max sent Cloud any text messages. Of all people...
"Any response from Max yet?" Aerith asked Big, who was holding Cloud's cell phone as he had to relay any sent text messages. Big checked the phone and saw a text message...that was sent over a minute ago.
"Yup - just got one from her!" confirmed Big as he pulled up the text message, squinting his eyes as he wished for a pair of reading glasses. "She said that Operation: Welcome Back Cloud Strife is now a ho."
"You mean it's now a 'go,'" affirmed Tharja, as Big scratched his head and double-checked Max's text message. Tharja facepalmed. "Cloud was wrong to entrust you with that phone..."
"Oh, I see! Max said 'ho, ho, ho' after the last sentence. That was what tripped me up." Big tried to play off his Freudian slip, but everyone except for Cream saw right through him. Big was more easily fooled himself than him ever fooling anyone.
"Alright peeps, we got the goods!" announced Sonic as he and Conker returned with suitcases full of cosplay attire. Showed up right on time, as Cloud had just returned from his pee break.
"Show us what you got," said Cloud, and so Sonic and Conker went ahead and unzipped the suitcases. All sorts of stuff were taken out - colorful wigs, ninja headbands, and even a few toy swords.
"I call dibs on the sword!" squealed Henry as he raised his hand, his eyes drawn to a fake samurai sword. He hoped to draw someone's blood with it.
"These items will allow us to blend in seamlessly," remarked Gex, as he picked up a maid costume and admired it. He then handed the maid costume to Kicks. "You can wear this, it matches your fur color."
"But I'm not..." Kicks was about to say something, only for Gex to pat the skunk on his shoulder and walk away. A drop of sweat ran down Kicks' face as he looked at the maid costume.
"We're bound to look goofy, but in the end, it'll be worth it," stated Cloud, holding a ninja headband in one hand and a superhero cape in the other. Imagine the combination Cloud could make from those items.
"Hold on, I have a better idea," offered Dr. Hakim, as he walked up to Cloud and Aerith; showing a little pep in his step, Dr. Hakim snapped his fingers...
...and suddenly Cloud and Aerith were both turned into dolls. Sonic and Conker were both amazed, as Dr. Hakim picked up Cloud and Aerith and held them in each hand.
"Not this again..." muttered Cloud, who along with Aerith was handed off to Sonic by Dr. Hakim. Sonic was geeking out over the fact that he was holding Cloud in the palm of his hand.
"Woah, this is some next-level stuff!" exclaimed Sonic, left in awe of the magic that Dr. Hakim possessed. "How did you do this?" The blue hedgehog asked Dr. Hakim, who was happy to answer as he twirled his mustache.
"Through the power of love!" exclaimed Dr. Hakim, as all his talk about love was starting to make Tharja nauseous. "What I want you and your friend to do is to take Cloud and Aerith inside the mansion."
"Sounds easy. We won't let these two out of our sight! And what do we do then?"
"Just keep them safe and sound. I'll turn them back to normal when the time is right."
"If for any reason we fail to do our job right, can we sell the dolls on Amazon?" Conker asked Dr. Hakim, thinking of the money that he could make off of living, talking dolls. Dr. Hakim furrowed his brow at Conker.
"That would be several moral codes, I'm sure...so no. Now go, go my amigos!" So Sonic and Conker left Dr. Hakim and company, taking Cloud and Aerith with them to the mansion.
"What are we gonna do in the meantime, Dr. Hakim?" Bandanna Waddle Dee asked the talking book, as he was anxious to help out in whatever way he could.
"We'll wait here outside until I gather the sense that Cloud and Aerith are safe from harm. If we have to wait until midnight, then so be it!"
"Don't worry, it won't take us until midnight," Tharja informed Henry, who was showing signs of worry after hearing the extent of Dr. Hakim's master plan. "He loves to exaggerate..."
Master Hand was in the foyer, where he saw Anna greeting some visitors that she personally invited - the Special Support Section crew from episode 354. The crew was led by Lloyd Bannings, and another Lloyd, Lloyd Irving, was gleefully shaking Bannings' hand.
"Let me be the first to say that it's an honor and a pleasure to meet you," Lloyd Irving said to Lloyd Bannings, shaking his hand like there was no tomorrow. Lloyd Bannings had no choice but to roll with the punches.
"I'll say - you ran up to me and hugged me like you were the happiest man on earth!" responded Lloyd Bannings, before looking at Anna as he pointed at the other Lloyd and asked, "Does he know me from somewhere?"
"He gave you the recommendation to arrest Dimentio," answered Anna, as Lloyd Bannings recalled when he and his squad was notified about an evil jester. Bannings never knew that it was Lloyd Irving all along.
"Look, Zeit! A new canine friend!" one of the Support members, Elie, said to Zeit as she and fellow member Randy were petting Greavard that was on the loose. Randy eventually fell to the floor, seemingly unconscious. "Randy...?"
"Welcome to the mansion, Special Support Section!" Master Hand greeted Lloyd Bannings and his squad, while Elie constantly poked at Randy to try and wake him up. "Truly a privilege to have you for our Festivus celebration."
"Glad that we were able to make it," responded Lloyd Bannings, feeling much relief when Lloyd Irving finally ended the eternity-long handshake. "This will be our first time celebrating this make-believe holiday!"
"Festivus is a real holiday, dang it..." Before Master Hand got really defensive about the Festivus holiday, Isabelle came inside the foyer with news to deliver. "...you dare to interrupt my conversation, Isabelle?"
"Akira Yuki texted me while he was doing his sightseeing from the tower balcony," Isabelle informed Master Hand, her hands trembling slightly as she read the text message on her phone screen. "He said that he saw Cloud, Aerith, and several others gathered at..."
"CLOUD IS IN SEATTLE?!" Master Hand boomed after Cloud was mentioned; he didn't mind Aerith, but the thought of Cloud back in the Emerald City had the giant hand super irate. "But how is that possible? Something must be done!"
Professor Sada's mission was a success - the professor was able to bring Professor Laventon and his crew from the past. Laventon and the others were at the mansion right now. With Sada's task out of the way, Turo could focus on his own duty - bringing 2B back to the future.
"Machine should be done with the initialization process soon," Turo informed 2B, who joined the Pokemon professor down in E. Gadd's lab. Dr. Wily was hiding within the lab, poking his head from behind E. Gadd's personal fridge.
"Allow it to take its time - I can wait for as long as needed," responded 2B, stretching her arms out as she had nothing else better to do. None of the Christmas activities intrigued her, and neither did the Festivus dinner.
"I have no time to wait...I must destroy that machine!" Wily quietly vowed, waiting for the right moment to pounce and destroy the time machine. Would take a lot more than his fists, since he apparently sneaked inside E. Gadd's mansion empty-handed.
Wily: Professor Turo is a foolish, foolish man! He'd rather help a sexy android get back to the future than be with his family. Is Sada his wife, and Arven his son? Either way, the point still remains - Professor Turo is a fool, no question.
"The process may take an hour or two," stated Turo, opening up a clock app on his Rotom Phone and setting the timer for an hour - and then to two hours just to be safe. "Wait right here; I will be back soon."
"Where will you be going?" 2B asked Turo, dismayed that the Pokemon professor was about to abandon her; Wily saw Turo's departure as a huge plus for his "destroy the time machine" mission.
"The Smash Mansion is hosting a Festivus dinner, the first of its kind in its history. I promised Sada that I would be there. That, 2B, is why you should never make certain kinds of promises."
"In that case, I'll let you leave. Have fun." Having 2B's word, Turo walked out of E. Gadd's lab as 2B waited patiently for the time machine to be done initializing. Once Turo left the lab, Wily slowly crept away from the personal fridge.
"So Turo's not staying put," whispered Wily, before looking at 2B who was standing in place, hardly moving a single muscle. "If that sexy android lady detects my presence, I'm done for..."
Sada didn't just bring Laventon and his group to the mansion - she was also tasked with bringing Ezio into the fold as well. If you recall, Link gave Ezio a handshake in his first encounter with the assassin, only to get kneed in the gut seconds later. Ezio also had a penchant for pickpocketing people, which meant that Link and Zelda had to keep a close eye on him.
"You don't have to chaperone me, you're not my parents," Ezio said to Link and Zelda, while he was stealing tokens from an arcade machine in the arcade. Ezio was stealing tokens from the "Insert Token" machine so in his mind, he expected to be filthy rich.
"Those tokens have no monetary value," Zelda informed Ezio, who flat-out ignored the princess as he kept on raiding the arcade machine. Ezio didn't stop until he ran the entire machine dry.
"That should be all of the tokens." Ezio stuffed the stolen tokens into his pockets, before standing up. "Neither of you saw a thing." The assassin then bid adieu to Link and Zelda with a two-finger salute, before darting away.
Ezio: The tokens...they're made out of plastic? Have no value whatsoever? *drops tokens to the floor, then knees cameraman in the gut before storming off grumbling* Now you tell me...
"Noooooo, not the Insert Token game!" Master Hand wailed when he appeared in the arcade, inspecting the damage that was done to the "Insert Token" arcade machine. "That was the only arcade game Pit's above-average in."
"Minor update for you, Master Hand - Mega Man brought the athletes from February to the mansion for Festivus," Link notified the giant hand, amused by the reactions the athletes gave when they realized where they were at. "He's still working on your...favorite basketball player."
"He is? And I didn't even have to ask him! What a guy!" While Master Hand was momentarily ecstatic, his excitement died down quickly. "Sadly, I have an update for you...a major one."
"I'm guessing Bowser let the Christmas tree catch on fire," assumed Zelda, imagining that a crisis like that happening right before Christmas would be too much to recover from. "The fact that he hasn't done a fire drill yet this year has made him restless."
"It has much to do with an unwanted visitor." Master Hand beckoned Link and Zelda to draw closer to him, as the person whose name he wanted to say couldn't be said out loud. "It's Cloud..."
"What?! No way!" Link was stoked about Cloud being in town, but he had to keep his excitement in tow because Master Hand was being such a player-hater. "You said his name like it's a bad thing."
"Because it is a bad thing! We don't want any unwanted family members mucking up the Festivus dinner. Which was why I personally asked Reaper and Sombra to snuff Cloud out."
"That was a decision you never ran by us," stated Zelda, as it was a rare occasion for Master Hand to make such decisions on a whim without consulting either one of Link or Zelda first. "Did Cloud come alone?"
"Well, he was seen with Aerith and a few bums. Perhaps the greatest collection of misfits ever assembled! Cloud should be ashamed for putting them together."
"Wouldn't say that he was directly responsible for assembling them..." Zelda looked away as she said this, clearly hiding something from Master Hand and even Link. The princess had some secrets that she kept close to her vest.
"I'm hearing a whole-a lot of hubbub," said Mario, joining in on the conversation as he had to pause his arcade game. "What are we talking about?"
"We have a foul miscreant looking to find their way inside the mansion. Cloud's in town..." Master Hand said to Mario with contempt, stressing the point of how "wretched" Cloud was. Mario wasn't buying it.
"Good, let him-a be in town. He has the right." Mario showed Cloud his support, as Master Hand gasped in shock at the plumber.
"Oh, he has the right to let that demented crook Dimentio from Subspace? I still haven't gotten past that."
"But why haven't you, though? Twintelle said you have-a matured, Master Hand." Mario's words struck a nerve in Master Hand, who was almost left speechless.
"...that is all I wanted to tell you guys. The sooner Cloud is taken care of, the better." Master Hand vanished away from the arcade, with full confidence that the Overwatch operatives he picked out would put Cloud in his place.
"Master Hand is so gonna get his if he keeps-a this up," Mario said to Link and Zelda, thinking that it was only a matter of time until a bunch of people turned against Master Hand. It would be what the giant hand deserved.
A Festivus dinner was set to take place later today, and everyone was encouraged to join. However, not everyone was in a dinner mood. Some folks may prefer a party over dinner, for instance.
Fox and Falco knew that many folks were in a partying mood, so they organized a Festivus party in the ballroom. It was like a regular holiday party, but only with a few Seinfeld-inspired decorations thrown into the mix. You'd be hard-pressed not to find the face of Jerry Seinfeld plastered on one of the ballroom windows.
"This Christams tree feels very...minimalist," remarked one of the party guests, Viola, as she inspected an aluminum pole tree along with fellow Umbra Witches Bayonetta and Jeanne. The pole was shorter than the one in the living room.
"I believe that it was intended to be as such," stated Bayonetta, holding a picture of George Constanza as she placed it gently on the pole. "There! Now it has a bit of decoration."
"If it weren't for you mentioning it, I never would've guessed that this pole was ever here," Jeanne said to Viola, thinking that the pole needed more than just a George Constanza picture to look spiffy.
"Pardon me? Mr. McCloud and Mr. Lombardi?" a mad scientist called out Fox and Falco, who were busy refilling the punch bowl. Dr. Eggman stood at the ballroom entrance, wearing a Christmas sweater. "Is this Christmas sweater against the Festivus party rules?"
"We gladly would've accepted a Jerry Seinfeld sweater," replied Fox; none of Jerry Seinfeld's sweaters were in Eggman's size, so that chance of Eggman wearing one. "But that sweater will do."
"Just don't gyrate your hips, it'll look bad," Falco warned Eggman, who waved off the avian pilot he joined the party. With Eggman present, the party could really begin.
Eggman: No, I haven't found Sage as of yet. The search may be relentless, but the time and effort I have put into it cannot be...wait a minute! How did you punks know that I was looking for Sage? You've been following me too closely, haven't you? Stalkers, the lot of you...you're no better than the paparazzi!
"I absolutely love these chips, they're so crisp!" Professor Laventon approached Fox and Falco, eating several potato chips in his hand. He was raving about the chips nonstop. "Even better than potato mochi."
"It's made from the same product," stated Falco, as he had Laventon instantly allured. "They're called potato chips." Laventon was smiling from ear to ear, admiring the potato chip that he held between his fingers.
"Potato chip, I adore you so much! Who knew that the future was so grand?" Laventon was in love, eyeing the potato chip as he left Fox and Falco.
"Wait until he tries out the Ice Climbers' ice cream maker," Falco snickered at Fox, as Laventon didn't see where he was going and bumped into Dawn. What kind of interaction would ensue?
"Akari, look at this! It's called a potato chip." Laventon pointed at the potato chip, acting as if he found a newly discovered element on the periodic table. Dawn had a blank look on her face, for she couldn't care less.
"My name's not Akari," stated Dawn, as Laventon got a good look at Dawn before sheepishly retreating out of humiliation. Soon the real Akari showed up, standing next to Dawn.
"Ha, I figured he'd get you mixed up with me," Akari smiled at Dawn, desiring to ask the Pokemon trainer if she was a descendant of hers but not knowing the right words to say. "Bound to happen at this party."
"Yeah, this party isn't so bad. I'm actually enjoying myself! Though it could be because I abandoned Barry at the other holiday party."
Another holiday party was going on, as a Christmas party was taking place in the gaming room for anyone craving Yuletide fun. Lee was chilling in the back of the gaming room with Ness, while his good friend Anthony was singing Christmas karaoke. Terry's pal Athena Asamiya was running the karaoke session.
"I'm dreaming of a white Christmas..." sang Anthony, singing into a mic as he read a rolling text of lyrics on a large screen. Growing bored, Anthony looked towards Athena. "This song's too slow, can I please get another one?"
"Only after you finish this one," smiled Athena, as Anthony rolled his eyes and decided to phone it in. He was singing the rest of the song but in a bored, annoyed tone.
"Stop mailing it in, that's not the karaoke spirit!" Barry shouted at Anthony; the Pokemon trainer was next in line to sing karaoke, for better and for worse. "Put some oomph into your performance, or I'm fining you, pal!"
"He's not your pal, buddy," Larry Koopa came over to inform Barry, who unwittingly started an unnecessary conversation chain.
"He's not your guy, chum," Ghirahim said to Larry as he joined in on the conversation, with several others right behind him wanting in.
"He's not your chum, mate," Dingodile said to Wario as he joined the fray, not a fan of his word choice as he smacked his forehead. "Think I ruined the flow...my bad, this one's on me."
"Is that not your friend?" Ness asked Lee as he pointed at Anthony, who hardly had it in him to finish the rest of Bing Crosby's "White Christmas". "Don't you wanna join him in karaoke?"
"Maybe I will...for the next song," replied Lee, who was leaning against the wall with his hands in his pockets. He didn't want to leave Ness just yet.
"You spent the money you won from the sweater contest...on a new sweater?" Nemona asked Penny, who was wearing a Jolteon Christmas sweater. Both Nemona and Arven were in shambles, with Arven shaking his head.
"Not all of it; besides, this was the only sweater missing from my personal collection," Penny defend herself, as a black man wearing whiteface, a peacoat, heart-rimmed glasses, and a blonde wig approached Penny and friends. Like he wanted to have a friendly chat with the trio.
"Hey, baby!" greeted the black man, who served as the special entertainment for February's Valentine's Day party. "It's me, Todd!" Understandably, the Paldean Pokemon trainers had no idea what to make of Todd.
Mega Man: Todd was a request from the party planning committee. Well, only Travis wanted him; Travis claimed that Todd was a hoot with the Valentine's Day party audience. An audience of one, I'll say.
"Do we...know you from somewhere?" Nemona crinkled her nose at Todd, as she was greatly unfamiliar with the man. That was Todd's cue to give Nemona the full rundown.
"I'm a really fun guy who enjoys having fun," explained Todd, leading Nemona and friends to infer that he was a super redundant person. "We're here to have fun. Life's full of fun. I'm fun. You should be fun too. So says Todd."
"Let's leave..." Arven whispered to Nemona and Penny, as the Paldean Pokemon trainers quickly retreated; Todd waved to the trainers, sporting a smile.
"White Guys Connect, check it out online! Yeah, baby!" Todd called out to the Paldean Pokemon trainers, unfailing in his quest of hooking up white males with their potential soulmates. Ironic since he was in fact...you know.
Since he volunteered to take over preparing the Festivus dinner, Dunban was working hard in the kitchen. The Homs' top duty was ensuring that the dinner's main course - meatloaf on a bed of lettuce - was perfected.
However, the course, nor anything else, could be perfected when there was a Zubat in the kitchen flying amok. Hal had to capture a Zubat the last time around, with Snake forcing the task upon him. Now everything was coming full circle today, as Dunban called down Snake to capture the Zubat and return it to the Pokemon sanctuary.
"Hurry up and catch that Pokemon already!" Pyra shouted at Snake, safeguarding the food while a properly unequipped Snake was holding a broom. Said broom was mainly used for squashing bugs and mice, not flying bats.
"Today would be nice!" shouted Dunban, who was standing off to the side with Pyra - acting like a coward just like the last Zubat encounter. At least Dunban already had the meatloaf cooking in the oven.
"I'm trying, I'm trying!" Snake responded to Pyra and Dunban, as the Zubat was flying near the ceiling where the ceiling lights were. "I'm trying to get it without letting it touch me with his weird little bat fingers."
"The Zubat evolutionary line doesn't have fingers," Pyra corrected Snake, who had no time for being schooled in basic Pokemon biology. "But a Golbat does have feet, though."
"That gives me an idea...maybe I should go for the mouth!" So Snake, armed with his broom, would thrust his weapon toward the Zubat and aim for the bat Pokemon's mouth. That only agitated Zubat, as it flew towards Snake and tried to bite at him.
"And this is why I hate Zubats..." Dunban confessed to Pyra, as a screaming Snake used the broom to fend off the Zubat. Eventually, the Zubat flew out of the kitchen after it had enough. "...good work, Snake."
"Yeah it was good work...but not for the lack of trying." His deed fulfilled, Snake was panting fortunate that the Zubat didn't get a single bite mark on his face. He would celebrate with a cookie, as he reached for a plate of chocolate chip cookies on the counter...
"Excuse me, love! Just borrowing this," Tracer said to Snake as she zipped inside the kitchen and grabbed the cookies before Snake had a chance. Snake looked confused as Tracer blinked away.
The Festivus party had a miraculous occasion take place, as eight individuals had a coincidental reunion in the ballroom - Olberic Eisenberg, Cyrus Albright, Tressa Colzione, Ophilia Clement, Primrose Azelhart, Alfyn Greengrass, Therion, and H'aanit. All eight had been to the mansion the past year and were having a discussion about their experiences.
"Running Anna's shop was so much fun!" raved Tressa, who would be totally open to running the shop in Anna's stead a second time. "Minus the whole Marth returning all his stuff part."
"Lucky you - we were stuck rehabilitating a drunken squirrel," said Cyrus, hoping that Conker had gotten better over time. Although he didn't count on it.
"I left my precious apple at the footstep of this mansion, pity me..." lamented Therion; the apple is probably rotten dust by now, get over it, dude.
"This party is better than the last one we attended," commented Primrose, as Captain Falcon approached the dancer while holding maracas. Primrose knew exactly what was coming.
"Let's try this again, from the top!" Captain Falcon smiled at Primrose as he shook his maracas - while expecting Primrose to do the same. A glare from Primrose made Falcon vamoose.
"Look what I found, Captain Falcon! Maracas!" Nowi gleamed at Captain Falcon, holding up a pair of maracas. Captain Falcon held his head low as he walked past his girlfriend. "We can shake them together! Where are you going?"
While Nowi chased after Captain Falcon, Fox and Falco were at the front of the ballroom chatting with one of the athletes, Charles. Charles was waiting for his teammates to arrive.
"Personally, I'm looking forward to the feats of strength," Charles said to Fox and Falco; the feats of strength were a Festivus tradition in which the head of the household challenged someone to a wrestling match. "Gonna be at the dinner just to see who's throwing the hands."
"Watch Link pick a weak link like Waluigi," snickered Fox - due to his status as the man of the mansion, Link would be the one doing the wrestling. "Just to get a freebie."
"Implying that Waluigi would even attend the dinner..." responded Falco, before a genius idea entered his head that involved Waluigi. "...let's tell him that the food quality is horrible. That oughta drive him away."
"Meatloaf on lettuce, that should be enough to keep him out." Fox got a sneak preview of the meatloaf on lettuce and assumed that Dunban was just messing around. But little did he know at the time...
"I dunno, Waluigi seems like the kind of dude that'd eat anything," remarked Charles, before holding his hand out over his eyes as he looked around for someone. Specifically, his teammates. "Where are they...?"
"Look who I found!" shouted one of Charles' teammates, John, as he showed up with two more of Charles' teammates in Latrell and Douglas. Fox took great interest in the latter. "Saw them both chilling."
"We both got lost in the mansion," Douglas sheepishly admitted, partially blaming the mansion for how large and grandiose it was. "Almost had to ask Samus for directions to the ballroom. She wasn't very happy."
"Just what this party needs - a sneaky athletic white guy!" gleamed Fox, as Charles, John, and Latrell all knew who this sneaky athletic white guy was - Douglas. Douglas himself knew as well, as he looked down and groaned.
"Told ya that people would be calling you that," Latrell sneered at Douglas, who kept his head low as he went to the nearest chair and sat down in it. His mood was killed in an instant.
Fox: What else is there that needs to be said about sneaky athletic white guys? Not only do they have deceptive speed, but they do things the right way. Good fundamentals are what they're all about. Out-hustles the competition, and literally lives inside the gym. That being said, though, if I had a daughter, I wouldn't let them date a sneaky athletic white guy. Plenty of other fish in the dating pool.
"Chin up, there's nothing wrong with a sneaky athletic white guy," John did his best to cheer up Douglas, as he and his teammates gathered around their friend. All three were trying not to laugh.
"Since we have a sneaky athletic white guy, we can have the feats of strength," said Fox, as Douglas had a look of worry on his face. Douglas, who was supposed to be nursing an ankle injury, was in no mood for fighting.
"I can't do it, my ankle hasn't fully healed yet," Douglas told Fox, who took the man's ankle injury as an excuse. Fox and Falco looked around at who was at the party, searching for a willing foe for Douglas.
"Who here wants to fight the sneaky athletic white guy?" Falco loudly asked the partygoers, drumming up some interest in the feats of strength. One of the partygoers, King K. Rool, stepped up to the table.
"Nice to meet you, good sir, I'm King K. Rool," K. Rool formally introduced himself to Douglas, who gulped nervously as he knew deep down that he didn't stand a chance. "I eat guys like you for breakfast!"
"Clear the ballroom! I repeat, clear the ballroom!" shouted Fox, as the partygoers huddled to the side of the ballroom to create an open space. "We're gonna have our feats of strength real soon!"
"Let me pull out my boxing gloves." K. Rool took out his boxing gloves and placed them on his hands, before assuming his position in the open space that was created. The Kremling beckoned to Douglas, looking for a fight.
"Show that croc what you got!" Latrell encouraged Douglas, smiling as he pushed his teammate forward. Douglas was looking at K. Rool, with pent-up nervousness inside of him.
"I'll do my best..." Douglas nervously replied, reluctantly putting up his dukes; K. Rool licked his chops, seeing Douglas as nothing more than barbecue chicken.
Sonic sat in the living room with Conker, as he and his squirrel friend were showing Cloud and Aerith to Lavenza. The blue hedgehog had already told Lavenza the details of what happened.
"I'd appreciate it if you stopped touching my hair," Cloud said to Lavenza, who was holding Cloud and gently stroking the swordsman's doll hair with her finger. Lavenza placed Cloud on the couch pillow, before picking up Aerith.
"So this was the doing of a magical book..." remarked Lavenza, as he pulled on Aerith's hair bow; Cloud didn't like how touchy Lavenza was. "...such books can be so powerful!"
"I'll say; Dimentio literally came from a Paper Mario storybook. And don't even get me started on that origami king!" With each passing day, Sonic was grateful that the Paper Mario storybook was locked away in the attic, only opened on rare occasions.
"Feliza Navidad, amigos," Sombra greeted Sonic and company, as she and Reaper entered the living room on the hunt for Cloud and Aerith. Though it wasn't obvious since he was wearing a mask, Reaper wasn't enjoying his mission.
"Have you seen Cloud and Aerith anywhere?" asked Reaper, anxious to complete his mission soon so that he could go back to brooding for the rest of his day. "Tell us so that we can get this crap over with..."
"We have Cloud and Aerith dolls," replied Conker as he took Cloud and Aerith from Lavenza, presenting the couple to Reaper...only for Reaper to slap the dolls out of Conker's hands. Cloud and Aerith both landed on the floor.
"We're not looking for any stinking dolls. We want the real deal. Now, do you know where we can find Cloud and Aerith, or not?" Reaper was about to snap, as Conker was testing his patience.
"Oh, Reaper! There's a surprise for you at the Christmas party!" Tracer called out to the mercenary, as the pilot blinked her way inside the living room holding a chocolate chip cookie. "Chocolate chip cookies are on the menu."
"Way to spoil the 'surprise' for me..." Reaper watched as Tracer took a bite from her chocolate chip cookie, and he softened a bit. "...how many chocolate chip cookies are left?"
"Not to worry, love, they have plenty. But you better get them before they're all gone!" Tracer finished eating the rest of her cookie, as Reaper quickly shifted his focus.
"I have to, uh, take a short lunch break...I'll be back," Reaper said to Sombra, as he sheepishly walked out of the living room. Sombra was disappointed in Reaper, yet amused at the same time.
"Abandon me for cookies, why don't you..." muttered Sombra, before reverting her attention back to Sonic and company as Lavenza scooped up Cloud and Aerith from the floor. "...you three enjoy your silly dolls. I'm gonna ride solo for a bit."
"Good luck," Sonic said to Sombra, who made herself invisible moments later. Lavenza inspected Cloud and Aerith for any signs of damage. "Cloud, Aerith, you both okay?"
"Barely felt any pain," answered Aerith, who hardly felt any sort of physical pain in her doll form. The powers of having clay and other materials as flesh.
"Chocolate chip cookie...Reaper's secret weak spot," remarked Tracer, before whistling into her fingers as Mario soon arrived. "Coast is clear, Mario!"
"Thanks-a for the assist," Mario thanked Tracer, who tipped her imaginary hat to the plumber with a grin. Mario went over to Sonic and company. "You three can thank-a me later."
Mario: Unlike Master Hand, I never stopped-a liking Cloud for petty reasons. Because I care about-a Cloud as a friend, I owe it to him and Aerith to keep-a them safe from Master Hand's clutches. Breaking up Reaper and Sombra was a good-a start. *pauses* Breaking them up as a partnership, I mean. Think there's a good chance-a that those two are secretly seeing each-a other. *giggles*
"Hey Mario, check it out!" Sonic said to the plumber, as Lavenza held up Cloud and Aerith for Mario to see. "Dolls of Cloud and Aerith!" Lavenza handed off Cloud and Aerith to Mario, as Sonic tried to suppress his laughter.
"Mama mia! They feel so authentic," remarked Mario after he accepted Cloud and Aerith from Lavenza, holding the two in his hand. Mario stroked Cloud's hair, rattling the swordsman. "The hair texture is on point!"
"Stop touching my hair," Cloud angrily said to Mario, scaring the plumber greatly as Mario screamed and fell on his butt. Tracer giggled at Mario, who was on the floor with his legs up in the air.
"It's Cloud and Aerith...but in doll form," Lavenza explained to Mario, who sat up properly as he got a good look at Cloud and Aerith. Mario was struggling to accept the fact that Cloud and Aerith were dolls.
"Hi, Mario," greeted Aerith, so used to seeing Mario on the short side that it charmed her to see the plumber as a giant. Slowly accepting this reality, Mario stood back up on his feet.
"Well then, this is a strange-a turn of events," remarked Mario - wait until he learns how Cloud and Aerith winded up being dolls, and who was responsible. "Do you mind-a if I take these...dolls with me to my home?"
"Long as we get to come with," replied Sonic, he and Conker staying committed to their mission of safeguarding Cloud and Aerith. "Keeping them is kinda our responsibility. We'll explain everything later."
Asuka had some friends over at the mansion today, in the form of her ninja friends from the Hanzo Academy - Homura, Miyabi, and Yumi. The four ninjas convened at Cafe Leblanc, where Sans was. The CPUs that the ninja pals made up with in episode 331 - Neptune, Noire, Blanc, and Vert - had made the trip to Seattle and were sitting at an adjacent table. With ninjas around, you know what that meant...ninja puns.
"ninja farts are typically silent but deadly," Sans told this joke to Asuka and the other ninjas, who were all seated at the table closest to the counter. "sneakers are also a ninja's favorite kind of shoe."
"Just give me permission to punch him in the face, and I'll do it," Homura said to Asuka, revving up her arm as she wanted to shut Sans up so badly. It was hard for her to enjoy her curry with Sans being such a pest.
"Give it some time, maybe he'll run out of material soon," Neptune assured Homura, as Pit and Incineroar came over to the CPUs' table to see if anyone was done with their bowl of curry. "Can I get some seconds?"
"We also got thirds if you're up to it," replied Pit, as Incineroar grabbed Neptune's empty bowl and followed Pit back to the counter. At the counter were Max and Chloe, with the former keeping up with Cloud's text messages.
"Cloud texted me saying that he was transformed into a doll," Max explained to Chloe, bothered by how the text messages were infrequently sent. "If that's the case, then how can he still use his phone?"
"Maybe he's just trolling you," assumed Chloe, while Owain was chugging down another vat of egg nog with others cheering him on. Joker was the only barista not cheering. "Or he could've been hacked."
"Now he finally responded to the text I just sent. He said that he is waiting outside, and he's getting cold and that he misses Froggy...I'm so lost."
Until Cloud was back to his regular self, Big had to be the steward of the swordsman's phone. That meant Big had to not only read Max's text messages to Gex and company but also respond to Max's texts as well. Hence the confusion that Max was feeling.
"Rate my fit," Gex said to Tharja, as he was trying on some of the cosplay items that Sonic and Conker brought out. The lizard was wearing a ninja headband, a Japanese school uniform blazer, and some blue shorts - all of which did not mesh well at all.
"You would be the biggest embarrassment to your clan," Tharja commented on Gex's attire, as she returned to her attempt of starting a campfire with Henry. The dark mages were getting cold, as Big had complained to Max earlier.
"Hurry up with the campfire, I'm so cold!" Big said to Tharja and Henry, shivering as his teeth were chattering. The purple cat felt like turning into a giant ice cube at any minute.
"How can you be cold, you're so fat!" Funky Kong said to Big, flexing on the fact that he was wearing a tank top and jorts despite it being close to thirty-six degrees outside. "Ain't got no insulation?"
"I'm afraid not - I don't have any money to buy a personal air conditioner." Big heard a text notification from Cloud's phone, as he saw the newest text message that Max sent. "Uh, does anyone here understand abbreviations?"
"This is where I saw them, over there," Akira Yuki explained to Link and Zelda, leading the Hylian couple to where Gex's troupe was gathered. Link and Zelda had a vested interest in meeting Gex's troupe after Akira reported to them who he saw.
"Is this the same spot where you saw them?" Link asked Akira, as Gex and the rest of his misfit army perked up once they had company. Gex even took off his cosplay items to make himself look presentable.
"Yeah, this exact spot! Seems they haven't moved an inch." Akira took a few steps back, allowing Link and Zelda to handle their business. Link marveled at the group that was assembled.
"So who do we have here?" the Hylian said as he got a look around at the group "Gex, Tharja, Henry, Big the Cat, Cream the Rabbit, Bandanna Waddle Dee, Kicks, Funky Kong...and a book with a mustache?"
"You can call me Dr. Hakim! Worldwide best seller and an expert on love!" exclaimed Dr. Hakim, doing his rehearsed introduction as he strutted his stuff. Tharja rolled her eyes. "I was purchased by Tifa Lockhart, and she was in luck because I was the last copy. That's because I was selling the best! Haha!"
"I highly doubt that." Link wanted to know why Dr. Hakim spoke with a Hispanic accent despite his Arabic-sounding surname, but that was a conversation for another day. "Do you believe this man, Zelda?"
"For what it's worth, he wasn't selected to be a part of this crew," replied Zelda, surprising Link as she approached Gex and knelt down to be at eye level with the lizard. "I take it that you got Cloud and Aerith to Seattle safely?"
"We may have accompanied them for the ride," replied Gex, as a bewildered Link looked back at Akira. Akira gave the Hylian a shrug. "You can never leave family behind."
"Is that what Cloud is referring to you guys? A family?" Zelda looked around at the other members of the troupe, and the smiles she saw from some of them confirmed what Gex said.
"He warmed up to us over time. You could say that we made his time in Arcadia Bay a bit more enjoyable." That was what Zelda wanted to hear, as the princess was most pleased.
"What are you...?" Link was about to ask Zelda, who frowned at her husband and shushed him. Link threw his arms in defeat, as Zelda returned to her conversation with Gex.
"You know, I had my doubts about you at first," Zelda admitted to Gex, as her message was not only for Gex but also for the other misfits. "Didn't think you would do such a good job - especially with you as the leader, Gex. But you all surprised me."
"Us misfits do have the element of surprise," stated Gex, giddy over the fact that he had someone's full respect - that respect coming from Zelda. "But I gotta hand it to that old man; he has a true eye for talent!"
Zelda: No indication was made that Cloud and Aerith would actually be kept safe in Arcadia Bay, so I put together a group in secret to keep watch over the two. I didn't pick out the members, but I did have the final say. They are a bunch of misfits, yes...but those misfits can easily fit into a puzzle. A great puzzle.
"What old man? Who is he talking about?" Link asked Zelda, who was done speaking with Gex as she stood up. So many questions Link had that needed answering.
"You'll know eventually when he comes to the dinner," answered Zelda, leaving her husband out of the loop as she recognized the phone that Big was holding. "May I see that phone, Big?"
2B wasn't entirely alone at E. Gadd's residence; aside from Wily, whose goal was to destroy the time machine, E. Gadd was present as he was still at home. However, E. Gadd got a text message that reminded him of the Smash Mansion's Festivus dinner. He had to leave at once.
"I have to go to the Festivus dinner," E. Gadd ran to his lab to inform 2B, who was watching as the time machine was undergoing the initialization process. "Will you be fine by yourself?"
"I'll be fine," replied 2B, not looking at E. Gadd as her gaze was fixated on the time machine. Once E. Gadd left the lab with his winter coat in tow, Wily emerged from behind his hiding spot.
"Good, that cretin is gone," whispered Wily, as he waited for E. Gadd to be out of the mansion entirely. With only him and 2B in the lab, Wily believed that he had a greater chance of destroying the time machine for good.
Dunban was done cooking the food for the Festivus dinner, which meant that folks were free to come to the dining room. The Homs asked one of the guests in town, Toadsworth, to go around and seek anyone who wished to attend.
"Let's see what's happening outside," said Toadsworth as he went outside and walked down the porch steps, on the hunt for any individuals out in the open. In the front yard was Adaman, leader of the Diamond Clan, arguing with the Pearl Clan's leader Irada.
"How disheartening that you still hinge on the fake reality that the almighty Sinnoh is a ruler of time!" Irada argued with Kamano, while Wario watched the argument up close eating from a bag of popcorn. "The true almighty Sinnoh is the form of all creation and ruler of space, as I've told you."
"As if! It's pointless to have all that space if you have no idea how to best utilize it," Adaman clapped back at Irada, asserting his superiority over Irada as he smugly had his arms folded.
"So using time is better than using space? Sometimes I wonder where your head is at, Adaman."
"I can tell you one thing, time is something that you really struggle with. Not a surprise, since you're constantly lost in space."
"Fat chance, I never get lost. Even in these future times that we're in, the Almighty Sinnoh has kept my sense of direction intact."
"This argument is such a waste of time. Why in fact, I feel dumber for arguing with the likes of you!"
"You missed the best part," Wario whispered to Toadsworth, who joined the fatso as he stepped on some popcorn kernels that were scattered on the ground. "They were calling each other names."
"ENOUGH!" Toadsworth shouted at the top of his lungs, as he brought the endless arguing between Adaman and Irada to an end. Adaman and Irada looked down at Toadsworth. "Why not have this wonderful discussion at the dinner table? Hm?"
"Very well then, we'll take our conversation indoors," said Adaman as he looked at Irada, having some unfinished business with the Pearl Clan leader. "I look forward to owning you at the dinner table."
"It will be YOU who will be owned!" retorted Irada as she pointed in Adaman's face before she and Adaman went their separate ways. But they only went their separate ways for a brief moment, for they were going to the same place.
"After you, my lady." Adaman stepped to the side, allowing Irada to go to the mansion first. Irada stuck her nose up as she walked to the mansion's porch, as Adaman smirked and followed after his rival.
Zelda knew that Master Hand would be coming after Gex's troupe, so she and Link took the group and Dr. Hakim to Mario's house for safekeeping. Mario was with Sonic, Lavenza, Conker, Spyro, Hunter, and special guests Elora and Bianca in the living room, along with Cloud and Aerith who were still dolls.
"Never in my wildest dreams that you would end up a doll," Zelda said to Aerith, as she was holding the flower girl in the palm of her hand. Mario, meanwhile, was holding Cloud. "All because of a love handbook, no less."
"Calling Dr. Hakim a love handbook is a bit of a stretch," said Aerith, who had some doubts about Dr. Hakim's credentials as a so-called "love expert". Bianca came over to Zelda to take a closer look.
"Not even my best magic can pull off something like this," said Bianca, as Zelda handed Aerith over to the magical rabbit. "You are a fascinating marvel, Dr. Hakim."
"I do my best," grinned Dr. Hakim as he twiddled with his mustache, enjoying any praise that was heaped upon him. He had quite the ego going on.
"A bloodthirsty dragon is all I've ever wanted!" gleamed Henry, sitting on the living room couch as he hugged Spyro tightly. The mage was squeezing Spyro's neck tightly.
"You found the wrong one..." Spyro told Henry, before looking over his shoulder as if he detected someone's presence in the living room. "...let go, Elora might think you're choking me!"
"Who's the short-a one now?!" Mario taunted Cloud, as he was holding the swordsman in his hand. The plumber looked apologetic seconds later. "I'm so sorry Cloud, but I had to rub-a that in."
"Not like I ever picked on you for your height," responded Cloud, slowly getting used to the feeling of Mario holding him and looking like a giant from his perspective. It was a lot to take in.
"Mario, are you going to the Festivus dinner?" Peach asked her husband as she showed up in the living room. Peach was perfectly fine with going over to the dinner without Mario.
"I'm still repressing the bad-a memories, so no," replied Mario, fine where he was sitting on his sofa. "I'll stay put and watch-a the children." Spyro finally broke free of Henry's grasp and joined Peach and company.
"Why not attend, it's the holiday of your people!" Sonic said to Mario, who gave the blue hedgehog a dubious stare wondering what he meant. "The people of New York, I mean." That stare of Mario's remained intact.
Luigi: Mario stopped-a caring for Festivus after I broke his wrist-a during the feats of strength. I was going for a Full-a Nelson but it somehow turned into a suplex. To this day, I still can't recreate-a the maneuver.
When Peach opened the front door and opened it, she was greeted by Reaper, who was turned away while eating cookies. When he detected that the front door was open, Reaper pulled his mask down and faced Peach.
"I just want to speak with Mario, Reaper said to Peach, dusting any cookie crumbs off of him while also stealthy putting his stash of cookies away. "Wanted to see if he has seen Cloud at all today."
"Cloud is not at this home," Elora informed Reaper, using her own polite way of telling Reaper to kindly buzz off. "I highly recommend looking somewhere else, if I were you."
"Is your name Mario? I wasn't talking to you..." Reaper saw Mario sitting on the couch, fiddling with Cloud. At least Mario wasn't bothering Cloud's hair. "...Mario, you got a minute? Stop playing with that stupid doll."
"But this isn't a doll, it's..." Mario was about to say, dangerously one word away from spilling the beans. Cream gasped as Big quickly muffled Mario's mouth.
"So what is it that, a piece of trash? Sounds accurate to me. Now tell me if you have seen Cloud today. Master Hand will have our heads if we..."
Reaper didn't get to finish talking, as he yelled in pain after feeling an object jab into the back of his lower right leg. The mercenary fell unto the doorstep in pain, as Sombra made herself visible and sighed.
"...this is why I should've done the talking," Sombra said to Reaper, thinking that her partner-in-crime was having a bad cramp. Sombra dragged Reaper away from the doorstep...later revealing Toadsworth, who was wielding his cane.
"Good evening, Princess Peach!" Toadsworth greeted the princess as he put his cane back on the concrete, satisfied with the act of violence that he enacted. "Wanted to see if you were coming over for dinner."
"I am, but Mario's not," stated Peach, as Toadsworth looked inside the house and could tell that Mario had no intentions of moving from his sofa. "The bad memories of his broken wrist have yet to leave him."
"Does this belong to you, Toadsworth?" E. Gadd asked the elderly Toad, appearing at the doorstep with a white handkerchief. "It was left on the ground."
"Mr. Superior! Happy Festivus!" Gex called out to E. Gadd, as Toadsworth took his handkerchief and stuffed it in his imaginary pocket. Hearing his name, E. Gadd looked inside Mario's house and smiled when he saw Gex and company.
"Hello, my children!" E. Gadd brushed past Toadsworth and Peach, as he ran inside the living room to greet Gex's troupe. Children? Children? "Oh, how I love Christmas surprises..."
"He referred to them as his 'children'..." Elora crinkled her nose, weirded out by how much E. Gadd was embracing the group of misfits.
"The professor's an extremely lonely man," Hunter explained to Elora, having seen E. Gadd's loneliness first-hand. "Even with Cortex as a housemate, it's a little sad." When she considered Cortex, Elora found E. Gadd's behavior to be understandable.
"I can assume that your mission in Arcadia Bay has been fulfilled," E. Gadd said to Gex, and that was when Mario presented to E. Gadd Cloud in his doll form. "What is this?"
"Hey, professor," Cloud greeted E. Gadd, who was left in amazement as he adjusted his glasses. E. Gadd's mouth was open wide in awe, his lone tooth entirely exposed.
"Cloud Strife...is a doll?!" E. Gadd's mind remained blown when Bianca revealed to him Aerith, showing how she was holding the flower girl in her hand. "Aerith as well? What is this sorcery?"
"It's part of my master plan!" replied Dr. Hakim, as E. Gadd was fascinated by every little thing that he saw in the past few seconds. "Let me tell you who I am. I'm Dr. Hakim..."
"Not...another...introduction," Tharja frowned at Dr. Hakim, happy to let the talking book know how much she resented him. Threatened by Tharja, Dr. Hakim zipped up his lips.
"Cloud had a little conversation with Snake's homeboy Hal Emmerich, and now he wants to come back home," Gex explained to E. Gadd, wishing Hal and Peppy Hare safe travels back to Seattle. "That is why we're in the Emerald City."
"Our only obstacle is Master Hand; he doesn't want Cloud back," added Cream, who was doing her best to remain optimistic. "Wants nothing to do with him anymore."
"I see..." said E. Gadd as he stroked his chin in thought, only to snap his fingers as a brilliant idea came to mind. "...I got it!"
"Got what?" inquired Mario, only for E. Gadd to whisper something into his ear. Mario nodded his head as he listened closely.
"Yeah, E. Gadd, what's up?" asked Sonic, and after E. Gadd was done whispering, Mario looked toward Sonic. "Why are you looking at me like that, Mario?"
"We're going to the teleportation room..." Mario said to Sonic, dropping Cloud to the floor as he took Sonic's hand and ran out of the house. Sonic had no choice in the matter, going wherever Mario took him.
"Well, I'm off to dinner," Peach announced after Mario and Sonic had left, totally fine with Mario beating her to the mansion. She was modest like that. "Anyone else want to come with?"
"We're coming!" replied Bianca as she and Elora left the house along with Peach and Toadsworth. They better get to the dining room soon, before most of the food was gone.
"You can stay put, professor - we will leave when it's time to enact the final phase of our plan," Dr. Hakim said to E. Gadd, as Cloud let out an audible groan. "You'll be back to normal soon, no worries, Cloud!"
The Festivus dinner was in full swing in the dining room, as folks were already eating their food while others were coming in. A plethora of guests were inside, such as Cap'n Cuttlefish, Kyo Kusanagi, Arle Nadja, Blathers, B.D. Joe, Lysandre, Dr. Light, Lee Chaolan, Noel Vermillion, Off the Hook, and the Ouroboros gang, among others. The dinner's guest of honor had just arrived.
"Your seat is right up there, at the front," Isabelle said to the guest of honor, as she directed him inside the dining room. It was Master Hand's favorite basketball player, Wayne, and he was holding a plate with meatloaf on it.
"...I hate Festivus," muttered a bummed-out Wayne, as Isabelle held him to his seat. Isabelle was courteous enough to pull Wayne's chair out so that he could sit in it. "But not as much as I hate Master Hand."
"Let me know if you need anything!" Her task complete, Isabelle left the dining room; Wayne shook his head as he took his fork and got to eating. Folks who were sitting close to Wayne were looking at him, but Wayne didn't care.
"Hide me!" Arle squealed to Wayne as she hid behind his chair; Wayne did his best to ignore the mage apprentice, as he kept eating away. "That creep won't leave me alone."
"A creep, I am not!" proclaimed the creep in question, Schezo, as he ran up to Wayne and saw Arle trying to hide. The mage was holding his mistletoe. "I just want to hug and kiss you all over!"
"Wrong place to do that at, bro," Wayne informed Schezo, who made chase after Arle as Arle screamed and ran off. Wayne looked at the person sitting next to him, Jakob, and stared at the butler's untouched plate. "Can I have your meatloaf?"
"Take the whole thing, I don't care for it," answered Jakob, and so Wayne helped himself as he took a hold of Jakob's plate and grabbed the butler's meatloaf. "I was looking forward to some exotic meat."
"Hey, I asked for that meatloaf first!" shouted Orson, Jakob's housemate, watching with disdain as Wayne placed Jakob's meatloaf onto his plate. Orson got salty as he folded his arms.
Jakob: A big holiday meal, and the main course of the meal...is meatloaf. Whoever came up with the idea of Festivus should have their entire lineage barred from coming up with new holidays ever again.
"Well, I'll be...it's a Festivus miracle!" gleamed Cassidy, smiling as he saw his good "friend" Ashe enter the dining room with B.O.B. Ashe did her best to ignore Cassidy's existence, but it was no use.
"Here's hoping that you wind up on Santa's naughty list," Ashe responded to Cassidy as she took her seat, while B.O.B. stood behind the gunslinger like the great bodyguard he was. "Good for nothin' Cassidy..."
"Pretty sure his name is McCree," Hammer Bro kindly informed Ashe, as he waited for Cassidy to back him up. But Cassidy did not say a word. "Come on McCree, don't leave me hanging!"
"Hi, I'm Ashe Ubert of the Blue Lions," Ashe introduced himself to...Ashe, as he held his hand out to the gunslinger for a friendly handshake. "What's your name?"
"Guess that means we both have something in common," Ashe smirked, with B.O.B. handing her a fork as Ashe Ubert looked away in pure amazement.
"Is this seat taken?" a purple-haired mercenary asked Byleth and Beleth, as another Festivus miracle was about to take place. The professors were greeted by Shez, who had a warm smile on his face.
"Aren't you a sight for sore eyes," said Beleth, his face brightening up a bit as he pushed a chair out for Shez. "Hope you aren't out to kill us."
"Not after that huge misunderstanding." Shez sat down in the chair, as he got a good look at Master Hand. "If you have the chance, tell Dr. Eggman that I got my eye on him."
"Any reason why the clock is in the bag, gramps?" Callie asked Cuttlefish, who was standing on a ladder as he ailed a bag with a clock in it to the dining room wall. Marie and Callie stood at the base of the ladder.
"It's a Festivus symbol that is not for you to know," explained Cuttlefish, who scaled down the ladder with his hammer after he was done. Marie and Callie exchanged puzzled looks with one another.
"Remember people, we still have the Airing of Grievances later!" Master Hand announced to everyone in the dining room, as he gave them this reminder. Only a couple of people were listening. "We don't have to wait until everyone's done eating."
"Much agreed, we don't have to wait...we can start right now," remarked Irada, giving a stone-glare to Adaman as the clan leaders crossed paths. Adaman smirked at Irada as he looked for his seat.
"Move your arm! We are in the middle of an intense staredown," Ragna the Bloodedge said to Palutena, as he was staring at his brother Jin Kisaragi. Palutena quickly grabbed her bread roll from a plate on the table.
"Told you that they couldn't sit together..." Noel Vermillion whispered to Mai Natsume, leaning in close to her friend as Palutena sheepishly walked away from Ragna and Jin. "...why did you put them there?"
"They chose to sit there," stated Mai, her and Noel keeping a close eye for any sparks that might fly. Ragna might even duke it out with Jin during the feats of strength - make it a two-on-one affair with Link involved.
"Boys will be boys..." sighed Palutena as she returned to her seat, where she was greeted by a familiar face in Donkey Kong. "...Donkey Kong? Aren't you supposed to be at Fox and Falco's party?"
"I was," replied Donkey Kong, who took out a secret banana and unpeeled it before popping the sucker into his mouth. "But then I heard that pecan pie was the dessert, so I came here just for that."
Donkey Kong wasn't the only person who left Fox and Falco for the Festivus dinner...the other partygoers abandoned the pilots as well. Except for Professor Laventon, who finished devouring the potato chips. Fox and Falco were salty over how empty the ballroom was.
"The future is grand..." remarked Laventon after eating the last potato chip, only to move on to a tray of barbecue chicken fingers that caught his sight. "...equally cut chicken pieces! How delightful."
"They're not for one person," Fox informed Laventon, who took the tray of chicken fingers and ate the chicken strips one by one. Sighing, Fox looked to Falco and asked, "Aren't you gonna stop him?"
"No thanks, 'cause I'm a vegan," replied Falco, proudly pointing his thumb at himself as Fox gave the avian pilot a blank stare. "I was joking..."
The time machine was almost done with the initialization process, and Wily was close to getting his hands on the device. The only person standing in his way was 2B, but it would be easy peasy for the robot inventor long as he didn't blow his cover.
"Yes, you sexy android, stay right where you are..." Wily said quietly as he neared the time machine, grinning profusely as he was only a few feet away. Then he froze, as he heard a door slam.
"You have returned," 2B said to the person who entered the lab, Professor Turo, as Wily groaned and backed away from the time machine.
"Had to leave the dinner on short notice," stated Turo, wiping away any remaining crumbs on his face as he opened up the clock app on his Rotom Phone to check the timer. "But the process is nearly complete."
Professor Turo: In order to leave the dinner, I had to cite a family emergency - my son was at the local hospital recovering from a traumatic brain injury. Master Hand has yet to discover that Arven is my son, so I expertly used his ignorance against him.
"Here it is - my least favorite part of installing computer updates," Turo said to 2B, staring at his Rotom Phone as he waited for the timer to reach zero. "The waiting game..."
"Waiting is usually necessary sometimes," 2B remarked almost matter-of-factly, as Turo was slowly losing his patience. Wily, forced to take another initiative, began scaling up the time machine.
Fox and Falco's Festivus party came with the feats of strength, and Douglas got his butt handed to him by King K. Rool during the fight. Douglas was in the dining room for the Festivus dinner with the rest of his teammates and was now with a black eye.
"A nasty black eye you got there," Lucario said to Douglas, who had his leg propped up on a chair. K. Rool roughed up Douglas's ankle pretty badly. "You got beat up?"
"Yeah, by K. Rool during the feats of strength," explained Douglas, feeling fortunate that his black eye and his even more injured ankle were the only ailments that he had. "My so-called 'sneaky athleticism' failed me."
"Should've caught K. Rool off-guard with your deceptive speed," Kyo Kusanagi said to Douglas in a joking manner, as he and Terry laughed together. Douglas lowered his head and sighed, as a brash Masaru confronted Terry.
"Terry Bogard! Here I am! I am ready for our fight!" shouted Masaru, already in a fighting stance as he waited for Terry to throw the first punch. Terry stood up and grabbed his glass, as Masaru got even more pumped up.
"Sorry, you got the wrong guy," Terry informed Masaru, patting the fighter on his shoulder as Masaru looked deflated. "Keep up with the training though, kid." Terry went to the kitchen to get a refill, as Masaru's fighting spirit vanished away.
"Seriously, Ness? This is who you're replacing me with?" Lucas angrily questioned Ness, whom Lee was sitting next to. "For the time being" became a very long time, even with Lee sitting at the table with his main man Anthony.
"It's nothing personal - there's a seat on the other side of Ness," Lee said to Lucas, bringing the PSI whiz's attention to the available chair next to Ness. Lucas hurried to the chair, only for Meta Knight to sit down in it.
"The perfect spot," remarked Meta Knight as he put his plate on the table, only to look up and see a despondent Lucas. "Only doing this just to be nice..." Meta Knight took his plate and moved to another seat, as Lucas sat down in the chair.
"That boy with the brown hair, that's my boyfriend, Rex," Nia quietly discussed with Mio, as the two Gormotti chicks were looking at Rex. Rex knew that Nia was talking about him, as he looked up and smiled.
"I saw Rex in a photo once," stated Mio, wishing that she had brought the photo with her. It was a photo that would blow Nia's mind. "You won't believe it, but Rex gets around very easily."
"Oh really? Tell me more!" Nia rested her chin on the palm of her hand, begging Nia to feed her all the juicy details. Now Mio really wished that she had brought with her that photo.
"Open wide..." said Luigi, who was at the Festivus dinner unlike Mario as he was feeding Elfilin some meatloaf. Or at least he was trying to feed him. "...where-a is your mouth?"
"You're just now asking this?" Daisy frowned at her husband, as she felt someone tapping on her shoulder. It was one of Lucina's friends, Yarne - the most cowardly among the bunch.
"Please don't tell me that the flying chinchilla creature's gonna eat us..." Yarne said to Daisy, worried that Elfilin would turn into a giant monster and eat everyone within sight. With how most Kirby creatures are, Yarne wouldn't be wrong to think that.
"Your beard is so soft, like a pillow!" Neptune said to Dr. Light as she was tugging on the robot inventor's beard. The other CPUs watched, waiting for Light to tell Neptune to stop. "You must be the brother of Santa Claus."
"Sometimes I wish, dear child," Dr. Light smiled gingerly, as he took Neptune's hand away from him. Neptune went back to tugging Dr. Light's beard immediately seconds later. "You're going to do this all evening, aren't you?"
Since he was a robot, Mega Man wasn't obligated to attend the Festivus dinner. Not that he wanted to in the first place. The robot was chilling in the teleportation room just in case Master Hand wanted to bring in more guests.
"Eat up, boy," Mega Man said to Rush, who was eating some robot dog food from his bowl. If there was robot dog food, why not regular robot food? Or did Mega Man not care for that?
"We would like to bring-a forth a guest please," Mario said to Mega Man, as he brought Sonic inside the teleportation room. The plumber told Sonic what E. Gadd had shared with him along the way.
"Who will it be?" Mega Man had his hands on the dashboard, ready to reel in anyone - an ancestor of Richter Belmont, some alien from outer space, the prime minister of Morocco, you name it.
"A kid...living on the Edge," replied Sonic, giving Mega Man a clue; Mega Man understood the clue instantly as he went ahead and keyed in the coordinates.
"He did promise Marlene that he wouldn't be gone for long..." Unlike Wayne, Mega Man had no qualms about bringing forth this special guest.
Max got another text from Cloud...erm, Big, stating that she and Chloe should go to the Festivus dinner. So the two pals from Arcadia Bay went to the dining room, but not before having a plate fixed for the both of them. Now came the hard part...finding a seat.
"Feels like we're in enemy territory," Chloe said to Max, as she analyzed the dining room for any seats that were available. The dining room looked like it was close to max capacity.
"I was stuck singing the slow songs during karaoke, it sucked," Anthony discussed with Latrell as the two were walking through the dining room. "Went from some Bing Crosby to the Temptations!"
"That sounds like a 'you' problem, in all honesty," responded Latrell, as he and Anthony came to a stop when they encountered Max and Chloe. Both men tried to play it cool. "Hello, ladies..."
"Do you know a spot we can sit it?" Max asked Anthony and Latrell looked around at the dining room table. "We just got here." Max and Chloe were in luck, as Latrell saw an open space.
"Two seats next to the bearded guy, better grab 'em quick." Latrell pointed at the two empty seats next to Lysandre, as Max and Chloe went over to them. Anthony and Latrell were about to leave...only to be apprehended by Master Hand.
"Nuh-uh! No one is permitted to leave until after the Airing of Grievances," Master Hand told Anthony and Latrell, who both rolled their eyes as they returned to their seats. So much for making a getaway escape.
"We're gonna let you hear it, just you wait and see," Anthony vowed to Master Hand as he pointed at the giant hand, knowing for a fact that he wasn't the only one with Master Hand-based injustices.
Master Hand: The Feats of Strength will be the last part of Festivus that we'll all partake in, but the Airing of Grievances is like the appetizer served before the main course. I'll let everyone air it out, and then I'll come in with the finishing blow. Boom!
"I find it so ironic that Master Hand is celebrating Festivus when he's so gung-ho about Christmas," said Elora, as Max and Chloe were moving fast to the seats that were available next to Lysandre.
"If there's anything I learned about Master Hand, it's that he is never consistent," stated Bianca, who saw a turkey leg lying on the table and handed it to the person next to her, Dark Pit. "Dropped your turkey on the table."
"This dinner would've been a six out of ten if not for the turkey," remarked Dark Pit, accepting his turkey leg from Bianca and putting it off to the side on his plate. Max and Chloe took the seats between Dark Pit and Lysandre, with Max pulling her phone out.
"Cloud texted me and said that we have to wait," Max told Chloe as she read her newly received text message. Lysandre looked over the young woman's shoulder, as Max sent a return text. "So that's what we'll do."
"Fine by me," replied Chloe as she rested her feet on the table, relieved that no one was reprimanding her after a few seconds had passed. Lysandre leaned in close to Max, seeing who she was texting.
"Cloud Strife is in your contact list?" Lysandre asked Max, who was startled by the fact that some tall man was suddenly speaking to her. "Tell him that I said hello - from Lysandre."
"Will do, weird bearded guy...will do," responded Max, giving a weird look as she held her phone away from Lysandre. So much for Lysandre making a good first impression.
It was time for Dr. Hakim and Gex's troupe to make their move. While Lavenza stayed behind to babysit Mario's kids, Spyro and Hunter opted to go with Dr. Hakim and company for moral support.
"You can stay at home if you want," Zelda offered to Spyro and Hunter, as she and Link were also coming along. The Hylians had to play a pivotal role in getting Cloud "reinstated" into the mansion family.
"Nah, Mario would complain that we sat around and did nothing," responded Spyro, fine with the decision he made. "We're only doing this to save ourselves." Hunter on the other hand wasn't so fine, as he constantly looked back at Mario's house.
"We have returned!" someone announced, as Hal was in the mansion's driveway waving to Spyro and company. He and Peppy Hare had just returned from Arcadia Bay once Peppy had his Arwing fixed.
"Made it safe and sound," added Peppy as he stood next to his Arwing, only for the previously broken wing to fall and narrowly missing his feet. "Good for nothing Arcadia Bay mechanics...I paid them a fortune!"
"Off to deal with Master Hand?" Hal came over to speak with Spyro and company, as Peppy looked despondently at his broken wing. "Before you go, why don't I share with you all what I shared with Cloud?"
"Zelda and I know probably most of it, but you can tell them," replied Link, as Hal's info dump was more for Gex's troupe and Dr. Hakim. Hal was about to reveal the truth...
Wily successfully scaled the time machine and was now on top. The initialization process was taking longer to complete, which meant that Wily still had a chance to complete his goal.
"What to destroy a time machine with..." Wily pondered out loud, tapping his forehead in thought; his thought process was interrupted when he heard the door slam. "...great, more company."
"Sorry for not coming earlier," apologized the person that entered the lab, Overwatch's commanding officer Sojourn. She joined Turo and 2B, just as the time machine was starting to do its thing. "A portal's about to open!"
"After a trillion years of waiting, no less," Turo responded sarcastically; a portal opening meant that the initialization process was complete. 2B was about to go back home at any given minute.
"Uh oh, it's rocking!" fretted Wily as the time machine was moving a bit too much for Wily's liking. Wily lost his balance, as he fell forward unto the floor - right in front of Turo and company.
"Dr. Wily?" Turo crinkled his nose at the robot inventor, reaching into his pocket as if he was going to pull out a Poke Ball. That was what Wily was fearing would happen.
Turo: I do keep a Poke Ball in my spare pocket. I only need it for crucial situations. Very, very crucial situations.
"I have an explanation..." Wily was about to plead his innocence as he stood up on his feet, only to turn around as the time machine was making loud sounds. The portal was almost done forming.
"Move out of the way!" shouted Sojourn as she, Wily, and 2B gave the time machine some room. Wily remained where he was, as the portal to the future was finally opened.
Everyone waited for a bit, and soon a man stepped out from the portal. Had white hair, was dressed in black, and wore a blindfold over his eyes much like 2B. It was for that reason that 2B quickly recognized the man.
"9S? Is that you?" 2B asked the man, who was greeted by the familiar sound of 2B's voice. 2B walked up to 9S and saw that he was the real deal.
"It's me," replied 9S, as the two androids were having a happy little reunion. If you want to call it happy. "At last, I've found you, 2B. How long I've searched..."
"I was plucked away from the future and ended up in this time. Yet you took the effort to find me?"
"The effort was not in vain. Without you, everything was amiss. A huge void was left that had to be filled."
"And now that you've finally found me, that void can be filled...this means a lot, so I thank you 9S."
"So are you two like...boyfriend and girlfriend?" Wily asked the androids out of bitter curiosity, likely having done research on robots falling in love. 9S peered at Wily - and viewed him as a threat.
"Who is this old man?" 9S asked 2B, requiring a detailed description of Wily before determining the worthiness of bringing the pain to the robot inventor.
"That is Dr. Albert Wily - he wanted to destroy this time machine," Turo introduced 9S to Wily, telling the android the kind of information he deserved to know. "For that reason, he was close to preventing this beautiful reunion."
"Is that so? Huge mistake on his part...I don't often take too kindly to miscreants." 9S donned his weapon - a Type-40 Blade - and the sharpness of the blade was enough to scare Wily straight.
"Better stand back, this might get ugly," Sojourn said to Turo, stepping to the side while 9S was given free rein to beat up Wily. With how Wily was acting throughout the year, it would be a well-deserved no-holds-barred beatdown.
The Festivus dinner was coming along nicely, as several folks were already full. Hal, who had just returned to Seattle from Arcadia Bay, was finally able to join the dinner.
"You know what they say, better late than never!" Hal said to Master Hand, bringing his plate with him as he sat in the chair that Snake saved for him. Reaper and Sombra soon approached Master Hand, to give them an update on their mission.
"Cloud was nowhere to be found," Reaper notified Master Hand while holding a secret stash of chocolate chip cookies behind his back. "We searched everywhere for him." The cookies that Reaper was holding suggested otherwise.
"Assist Tower included," added Sombra, who frankly had to do more of the searching thanks in part to Reaper being distracted. "Not even the Yiga Clan knew where he was!"
"So Cloud just disappeared from under our noses, did he?" inferred Master Hand, with a slight hunch that Cloud was in town but hiding far away from the mansion so that no one would pick up his scent. "Fine then. You two are dismissed."
"It's getting a little late," Isabelle informed Master Hand, checking the time on her wristwatch while Reaper and Sombra both left the dining room. "Is it time for the Airing of Grievances?"
"I suppose it is. Go get the triangle; I kept it hidden underneath the pillow in my room!" So Isabelle left the dining room, going to fetch the triangle from underneath Master Hand's perpetually unused pillow. Why does Master Hand even need a pillow?
"I truly dig your style, good sir," Lorenz spoke with Todd at the dinner table, as he had been waiting to give the man some props. "You simply ooze charisma while simultaneously exhibiting a certain kind of charm."
"Everyone digs Todd's style!" proclaimed Todd, knowing that a bunch of people were agreeing with him - when all he got was eye rolls and groans. "I'm a simple man who likes to paintball, crochet, and do spoken word."
"Me, I tend to fancy myself as a tea connoisseur. As such, there is nothing more palatable to my soul than an impeccably crafted brew!"
"Amen, brother. White Guys Connect! It's for all the white guys looking for fly, single females to have a great time. Yeah, baby!"
"Go hop in on that, it might change your life forever," Snake encouraged Hal, who ignored his best friend and kept on eating his food. Hal would rather stick to his beloved anime chicks than fly, single females. Sad!
"Saw you playing Pac and Pal in Pac-Man's arcade earlier, and you were superb!" Lee Chaolan said to Crash, as he offered the bandicoot his business card. "Merry Christmas, good sir." Crash took the business card from Chaolan...and proceeded to insert it into his mouth.
"No, Crash, that's not food!" Coco shouted at her brother, as she and Crunch were wrangling with Crash. Kazuya watched the kerfuffle play out with a frown on his face.
"Let him swallow the card; it has no value," the businessman advised Coco and Crunch, with Crunch close to giving Crash the Heimlich maneuver.
The wrangling with the bandicoots came to a stop, as Isabelle returned to the dining room ringing the triangle. All the commotion in the dining room died down, as it was now completely silent.
"Hello all, hope that you enjoyed your Festivus meal," Master Hand addressed everyone, alarmed by how many folks forfeited their meatloaf. Maybe they just weren't in the Festivus spirit. "It is now time for the Airing of Grievances!"
"This is the moment that I've been waiting for," said Wayne, anticipation building up inside of him as he was dying to unleash his gripes upon Master Hand. "Can I go first?"
"Hold it, I have to go over the rules for the uninformed! So basically, what the Airing of Grievances is is that each person tells friends and family of all the instances where they disappointed him or her that year."
"I don't have to say anything, my lousy son is always disappointing me," stated Heihachi as he glared at Kazuya; Kazuya saw Heihachi glaring at him and looked away. "I would sound like a broken record."
"Same here with me and Ragna," said Jin, unflinching during his staredown with Ragna. No guarantee that either man touched their plate. "Ragna disappoints me just by merely existing."
"I got a bone to pick with Pit since he beat me in that rap battle," stated Pearl of Off the Hook, standing up and pointing at Pit who was going ham on a piece of ham. Fittingly enough. "You owe me a rematch!"
"Oh yeah, well you owe me a hundred bucks!" retorted Pit, spitting food particles out of his mouth as several folks near the angel moved their plates out of caution.
"My grievances are with every single one of you because you're all getting FINED!" shouted Barry, pointing at every person in sight as Dawn facepalmed out of embarrassment. People were yelling among themselves, wanting to be the first to get some things off their chest.
"Simmer down, simmer down, I haven't given you the green light yet!" shouted Master Hand, as the constant yelling came to a gradual stop. "How about I give you all an example."
"You got the floor, Master Hand...better do something with it," Wayne said to the giant hand, who got ready as he cleared his throat. Master Hand's grievances were already rehearsed prior to the dinner.
"So I got a lot of problems with people. At least I used to have a lot of problems with people. But there's only one person that has been grinding my gears the most lately, and his name...is Cloud."
"Care to elaborate?" Noah asked Master Hand, who was more than happy to elaborate as he gave a charming laugh. This was the moment that Master Hand has been waiting for.
"Simply put, Cloud has doomed us all. He made a costly mistake. Every person in this dining room is in complete danger because of Cloud. What exactly this danger is, I won't say, but I will say that..."
"Don't tell me that you're doing this Airing of Grievances just to talk trash about Cloud," Twintelle said to Master Hand, expressing her clear disappointment in the giant hand as she made him nervous.
"Was the whole Festivus dinner just a setup for this?" inquired Caspar of the Black Eagles, leading a handful of others to question the legitimacy of the dinner. "That is super sleazy, even for you Master Hand!"
"Sleazy isn't the right word to describe it..." stated Master Hand, who was growing more nervous as people were siding with Caspar. They were chatting among themselves and everything.
"I had expected better from you, Master Hand," Twintelle said to the giant hand disappointingly, as she was letting him have it. "You made a promise that you would change for the better. Yet you've reverted to your petty ways."
"My dislike for Cloud isn't for petty reasons...it's an understandable dislike. You wouldn't understand if you..." Master Hand was cut off, as the mention of him disliking Cloud resulted in a raucous response from the crowd.
"Why do you have to dislike Cloud in the first place?" Max spoke up, commanding the attention of everyone in the dining room as she stood up and challenged Master Hand. "He is such a nice guy."
"Wh-Who invited this one?" Master Hand pointed at Max, curious as to how she and Max flew right under his nose. "Her boyfriend, who invited him as well?"
Chloe: This mansion is legit the first place where I have been mistaken for being a boy. Twice. Cloud was right about this place all along...
"I've known Cloud ever since he stepped foot in Arcadia Bay," continued Max, as all eyes were on the young woman - and Max was well aware of it, too. "Sure, he can be cold and distant at times, but he's super friendly once you warm up to him."
"Learned that the first day," Knuckles spoke up, as he had tried to warm up to Cloud in the first episode and later succeeded. It was one of the echidna's best success stories.
"And so what if he made a 'costly mistake'? No big deal." Several folks were voicing their agreement with Max or nodding their head, and Master Hand wasn't fond of it.
"She has a point," said the person that was perhaps the least likely to stand up for Cloud's honor...Tifa Lockhart. "Shouldn't matter if Cloud makes mistakes. We're all human."
"You too, Ms. Lockhart?" questioned Master Hand, fretting with how many people were gradually rallying against him. The giant hand had no allies on his side to back him up. "You literally got upset any time someone brought up Cloud!"
"Guess what, Master Hand? I got over it. You should get over your stupid dislike for Cloud." Tifa had a wave of support behind her, as several folks were shouting in agreement.
"You never told us the reason why you even dislike Cloud," Max said to Master Hand, applying pressure on the giant hand to share the details that he was trying to hide from everyone. "You can't hide it from us forever."
"She is right - why do you dislike Cloud Strife?" a voice asked Master Hand, as everyone looked around wondering where the voice came from. Soon Dr. Hakim magically appeared in the center of the dining room table.
"Is that...a talking book?" Lee crinkled his nose, wondering if he was hallucinating while his buddy Anthony was rubbing his eyes. "Yup...I think I've seen everything at this place now."
"I'm not just a talking book, amigo - I'm a bestseller! A worldwide bestseller and an expert on love! Just last month, I worked with Cloud Strife..."
"So you tried to hook Cloud up with Aerith, good for you..." Master Hand cut off Dr. Hakim, not at all interested in hearing the talking book's backstory. "...can someone take this book back to the library?"
"The library is currently closed," Blathers stated matter-of-factly, as Master Hand grabbed a plate ready to throw it at the owl. Blathers flinched in anticipation, as Master Hand put the plate down.
"But yes, I have worked with Cloud in the past," Dr. Hakim picked up right from where he left off, moving around on the table as he was unable to stay still. "And today, I learned a big secret."
"That Cloud likes Aerith? Not much of a secret." Then in a matter of seconds, Master Hand became fearful as Dr. Hakim had a slick grin on his face. "It's not a big secret, is it?"
"You should know, Master Hand...since you're in on it." A collective gasp was heard in the dining room, as Dr. Hakim was on the verge of exposing Master Hand in front of a large gathering.
"In on what?" inquired Villager, as Master Hand wanted to vanish away to save himself from the fury that was coming towards him. But the giant hand was frozen in fear.
"Some of you may have heard that Cloud was in Arcadia Bay to keep Aerith safe. But that...was a LIE! Cloud all this time was being punished."
"For real?!" exclaimed Ryuji, as there was chatter aplenty in the dining room. "Arcadia Bay is that bad?" Chloe was about to get up and give Ryuji a piece of her mind, but Max restrained her friend.
"You may have heard that Cloud was meant to safeguard Aerith from any threat from any possible evil threat. But it was only disguised as such. Cloud was punished all because he released an evil jester into our world!
"It's true, I heard him talk about it in secret with Link and Zelda," stated Snake, who had eavesdropped on a conversation Master Hand months ago. "He even asked me where Cloud should be 'cast off to.'"
"Now that's just wrong," commented B.D. Joe, who was amazed that Master Hand could do Cloud of all people dirty like that. The pressure was mounting on Master Hand.
"That's not true, Link and Zelda can clarify..." stated Master Hand, who at this point realized that Link and Zelda were absent from the Festivus dinner this whole time. "...Link? Zelda? Where are you?"
"They're right over here..." announced E. Gadd who showed up at the dining room with Link, Zelda, Spyro, Hunter, Conker...and Gex's troupe, in its entirety. Indubitably, Gex's troupe captured most of the eyes in the dining room.
"Merry Christmas, fellas!" Funky Kong greeted the Kongs - Donkey Kong, Diddy Kong, and Cranky Kong - as he cracked a smile at the trio. Tharja nudged the gorilla in his side to keep him quiet.
"Dr. Hakim left out one important detail," stated Zelda, as Master Hand was about to flex his authority on the Hylian to shut her mouth up. "When Master Hand sent Cloud to Arcadia Bay, he wanted him to be alone and miserable."
"Which was why we talked him into sending Aerith with him, to give him company," added Link, as Twintelle was suddenly not the only person disappointed with Master Hand. Many others were following suit.
"But they needed a couple of 'guardian angels' - so I had Professor E. Gadd assemble a plucky group to keep watch. A group of misfits, if you will."
"Anything to protect my good friend, Cloud," smiled E. Gadd, as several folks expressed admiration at the friendship E. Gadd had with Cloud. At this point, Master Hand had enough.
"Yeah, well...Cloud's staying in Arcadia Bay regardless," stated Master Hand, as E. Gadd and the others had amused looks on their faces. Master Hand's mind was about to be blown.
"Not so fast - we have a little surprise for you," Dr. Hakim said to Master Hand, giving Conker the cue to place Cloud and Aerith on the floor. Working his magic, Dr. Hakim twiddled his fingers before holding his hands out to Cloud and Aerith.
In almost an instant, Cloud and Aerith began growing in size and kept on growing until they were back in the flesh. Cloud and Aerith were back to normal, as the crowd rejoiced.
Lee: ...yeah, I've totally seen everything at this place. But I still love it.
Tom Nook: Festivus started because of a story involving a doll, and Cloud and Aerith likely spent much of their day being stuck as a doll. Coincidental, yet incredible.
"It's a Christmas miracle!" cheered Cranky Kong, hollering and raising his cane up high as Aerith smiled happily at Cloud and gave him a kiss on the lips. Cloud was caught off-guard.
"Always knew they were bound to be a couple," grinned Wolf, very much in approval of the kiss; Tifa, who was previously acting heartbroken, had no issue with the kiss that took place.
"Well? Aren't you gonna say something?" Sonic asked Cloud, not expecting a full speech from the swordsman but rather a few words for the crowd. Thankfully, Cloud knew exactly what to say, taking into account what today was.
"A Festivus..." Cloud started, as he took a glass from the table that belonged to Yoshi. "...for the rest of us!" The swordsman held the glass up high, as everyone cheered in response. Almost everyone.
"You can go ahead and take that glass, the backwash isn't so bad," Yoshi said to Cloud, who thought otherwise as he put the green dinosaur's glass back on the table. Master Hand was in shambles, but things weren't over just yet.
"Cloud, are you there?" said the voice of a young lad, and Marlene knew who it was as she gasped in excitement. Entering the dining room with Mario and Sonic was Denzel, as a happy reunion was bound to take place.
"Looks like we came right-a on time!" exclaimed Mario, as he pointed at Cloud and Aerith; Denzel smiled as he ran to Cloud, who got down on one knee.
"I don't do this often, so...consider yourself lucky," Cloud said to Denzel as he held his arms out for a hug; Denzel approximately responded by hugging Cloud. "Merry Christmas, Denzel."
"Knew that I would see you again," Denzel said to Cloud, holding the swordsman tightly as Sephiroth looked on feeling sick. Also feeling sick was Master Hand, who was deeply beside himself.
"Seeing this, Master Hand?" Spyro asked the giant hand, forcing him to watch and admire Cloud hugging Denzel. "This is what you tried to keep away."
"Also, the people seem to like Cloud," added Hunter, adding more salt to the open wound that Master Hand was inflicted with. "Even if someone doesn't, they wouldn't leave Cloud somewhere for dead!"
"So put on your big boy pants and reinstate Cloud!" Link commanded Master Hand, open to attacking the giant hand with his Master Sword if he didn't comply. Master Hand better make the popular decision.
"Fine Cloud...you win. You win," Master Hand said to the swordsman, whose heartwarming hug with Denzel ended as he stood up. "Welcome back to the Smash Mansion, I guess."
"Cloud is back in the family!" Sonic happily announced as many of the mansion residents and tower denizens (and others) were cheering. Master Hand at this point was sick and tired of the euphoria.
"I'll be in my room if anyone needs me..." Master Hand was done with Festivus for the night, as he vanished away to his room. In most instances, Isabelle would follow a retreating Master Hand to his room, but this wasn't one of the times.
"Can't wait to tell the boys back home about this," Charles said to his teammates, as he had a couple of Festivus stories to share. His approval rating of Master Hand had gone down drastically today.
"Plenty of stories you'll get to tell...like an old grandpa telling stories to a young grandchild sitting on his lap."
Everyone was greeted by a mysterious voice, and seconds later Dimentio suddenly appeared in the center of the dining room. In his hands was a laptop.
"So very nice to meet each and every one of you!" Dimentio said to everyone, choosing the right moment to appear with Master Hand gone. "I am the master of dimensions, the pleaser of crowds...I am Dimentio! Remember the name well..."
"It's him!" shouted Yuri of the Ashen Wolves, remembering Dimentio from his encounter in the Thanksgiving episode, as many folks were seeing the infamous Dimentio in person for the first time ever. "And he has...that is a laptop, right?"
"The documentary crew said that a laptop was stolen from their 'headquarters,'" stated Isabelle, who ever since episode 322 fielded reports of a missing laptop from the producers' room. "Dimentio had it all along!"
"Right you are, my sweet Isabelle!" exclaimed Dimentio as he placed the laptop in the center of the dining room table, perfectly out of reach. "But I have no use for it anymore. Consider it a familiar Christmas gift."
"Why are you giving it back, though?" asked Wayne, with no idea why he was so invested in getting a response from a paper-thin jester. "I've never heard of anyone returning a laptop during Christmastime."
"I'll tell you why...everything I needed to know, I have already seen with my own two eyes! Mostly everything. Let's just say that I went on an...excursion through time."
"You used a time machine!" inferred Diddy Kong, gasping as he pointed at Dimentio; if Wily wasn't getting beat up right now, he would be having the worst kind of panic attack.
"Correct! I had to go back in time to do a little 'background research' on my newest confidant. Who shall not be named."
"Nobody wants-a you, Dimentio - leave this place at once!" Mario commanded the jester, who chortled as he refused to bow down to Mario. But Dimentio was willing to listen to Mario's command...just this once.
"Since I have returned the laptop, I will leave. But be warned! My revenge tour is on the cusp of starting. Once I go on my excursion through time - with my newest confidant - I'll have more information on you all! Ciao, and Merry Christmas!"
Finished with his spiel, Dimentio disappeared from the dining room as he let everyone dwell upon his words. A profound silence found its way into the dining room, as no one knew what to say.
"Let's hear it for Cloud Strife! Yeah, baby!" Todd exclaimed, breaking the silence as the whole dining room was cheering for Cloud. Uncharastically enough, Cloud appreciated the warm reception.
"Thanks, everyone," Cloud thanked the cheering crowd, before turning to E. Gadd and the members of the troupe he assembled - Tharja, Henry, Big, Cream, Funky Kong, Bandanna Waddle Dee, and Kicks. "And thanks to you guys as well...for everything."
"No matter what, we're always family!" Gex assured Cloud, who responded with a smile. Cloud also made sure to give Max and Chloe a smile, so that they wouldn't feel left out.
"Not gonna lie, seeing him smile like that...it's so uncanny," Max whispered to Chloe, seeing Cloud smile for the first time. It was probably a first for a handful of other people.
"My work here is done..." announced Dr. Hakim, after his master plan has reached its conclusion, as the talking book vanished away. Tharja must be so relieved.
Isabelle: I'd hate to rain on Cloud and Aerith's parade, but I have to ask this one question: how do we get the documentary crewmates from Arcadia Bay back home? We can't just leave them there! Do we call an Uber? Is there such a thing as an Uber Bus? We can just commission one.
Wily was left writhing on the floor in pain in E. Gadd's lab after 9S had kicked his butt. 9S stared at the defeated robot inventor, as he put his blade away.
"Glad that you got your battling fix in," Turo said to 9S, amazed that the android had shown Wily mercy after the senseless beating that occurred. "I assume that you and 2B are ready to head back."
"The portal's still open," reminded Sojourn as the time portal remained open, not closing unless someone went through it. "Want to say goodbye to any of the Overwatch peeps, 2B?"
"Never really cared for any of them," admitted 2B, who found her time spent at the watchpoint to be stale, if not uninteresting. "But I hope that I will be a lasting memory..."
"We won't forget about you. None of us will." The time portal behind 2B and 9S remained open, likely calling for the androids to go through it. "The future's waiting on you!"
"It has been a pleasure - thank you for keeping 2B safe," 9S said to Turo and Sojourn, as he and 2B were ready to take the journey back home. "I suppose that this is farewell."
"Thank you, for everything," 2B said these parting words to Turo and Sojourn, as 9S took her hand. The two androids entered through the time portal together, and seconds later the portal went away. Mission success.
"Looks like they made it back without a hitch," assumed Sojourn, before turning to Turo and shaking the Pokemon professor's hand. "Thank you for your help, Professor Turo! Rayman's time-washing machine wouldn't have gotten the job done, but I was too reluctant to tell Link."
"A time-washing machine? That's something you don't hear every day," remarked Turo, before turning his head to Wily who was struggling to lift himself up off the floor. "You heard that, Dr. Wily? Rayman has a time-washing machine."
"Been there, done that..." Wily muttered in response, falling back to the floor after his body gave up on him. The robot inventor mumbled in agony.
Done being salty over their Festivus party, Fox and Falco went to the living room to check out the aftermath of the Festivus dinner. The feats of strength were taking place, and Link was having a wrestling match...an arm-wrestling match.
"Give him everything that you got!" Owain encouraged Link's opponent, John, as many folks were gathered around cheering on. Although he was an athlete with a strong arm, John couldn't overpower Link.
"Aw man, he got me!" exclaimed John, smiling in defeat as Link brought his arm down unto the table. The crowd cheered, while Owain was beside himself as he turned away and facepalmed.
Link: After hearing Mario's Festivus stories, I chose to have an arm wrestling match for the feats of strength. I don't want a broken wrist for Christmas.
"You oughta challenge Link to a match," Fox said to Falco, playfully jabbing the avian pilot in his side with his elbow. "With all the strength you got from your new vegan diet."
"Nah, it's not worth it," responded a confident Falco, as John got out of the chair and left. Link's next challenger, Lanz, took a seat at the table.
"Put 'er up there!" Lanz said to Link, ready to go as he put his bent elbow down and his hand up. Link locked hands with Lanz, as he envisioned another victory in sight.
"Three, two, one...GO!" shouted the arm wrestling referee, Male Wii Fit Trainer, as the match between Link and Lanz started. Lanz had the early advantage over Link so far.
"Merry Christmas, Ness," Lee said to the PSI whiz, chilling against a living room wall as he handed Ness his Christmas gift. Ness was shocked. "What, you thought I followed you around just to follow you?"
"You were really getting clingy at one point," replied Ness as he accepted his gift, unwrapping it and taking out what was in the box. Lee smiled at what it was, as Ness unraveled a poster. "An Iono poster...eh, better than another baseball for Christmas."
Elsewhere in the living room, Layton and Luke were chatting with Sonic. The British detectives were out and about in Seattle, so they missed much of today's events. But Sonic was happy to fill them in on what transpired.
"Reuniting Denzel with Cloud two days before Christmas - that was very wholesome on your part," Layton commended Sonic, as he was almost making the blue hedgehog blush. "You really have grown a lot, Sonic."
"You could say that it was a Festivus miracle," quipped Sonic, as Crash was sitting next to Sonic licking Lee Chaolan's business card. If Crash couldn't swallow the card, he could at least treat it like a popsicle.
"I know that Marlene's happy," commented Luke, as he saw Marlene and Denzel chatting in a corner of the living room. Denzel fulfilled the promise he made to Marlene in episode 349.
"How long will you be staying?" Marlene asked Denzel; she would hate it if Denzel made a cameo appearance just for Festivus, and then left the very next day.
"Probably until New Year's," guessed Denzel, open to sticking at the mansion for a full week. "Depending on how Cloud feels, I might stick around a bit longer after that."
"That would be nice. I'm just happy to see you again!" Marlene gave Denzel a hug, wrapping her arms around the boy, and Denzel smiled as he patted Marlene on her arm.
"Didn't know Cloud could call the shots from Arcadia Bay," said Fox, after he and Falco eavesdropped on the recent conversation. The pilots were both in for a surprise, as Cloud and Aerith snuck up on them.
"Heard that you boys saw us kiss outside that bed and breakfast," Cloud said to Fox and Falco, startling them both as he made them turn around. The pilots looked afraid like Cloud wanted to beat them up.
"We may have seen you kiss..." Fox was shivering a little, fearing that a sucker punch was coming his way. "...somebody told you?"
"...I have," confessed a certain young witch, as Ashley emerged from behind Cloud and Aerith looking apologetic. A rarity for her. "...Doc Louis wasn't the leaker. It was me all along."
"I KNEW IT!" Falco shouted loudly with vindication, as everyone stopped what they were doing and stared at the avian pilot. Falco sheepishly piped down.
Falco: My personal motto, or at least one of them - "when crap goes down, always blame the witch". It's a motto that has been aging like fine wine.
"Letting an innocent black man get in trouble..." Fox shook his head in disappointment at Ashley, forced to come up with a punishment for the young witch. "...don't be a Karen, Ashley."
"Ashley told us the whole shebang," Cloud explained to Fox and Falco - wait until he finds out that Max had photographic evidence of his kiss with Aerith. "So you got to see us kiss before anyone else did."
"Also, in other news...Cloud and I are back at the mansion!" announced Aerith, filling Fox and Falco in on the big announcement they missed out on. "No more staying in a small Oregon town for us."
"Well, I know you must be happy," responded Fox, who thought of Arcadia Bay as one of the most boring places he had ever been to. "Bet it took a lot in Master Hand to..."
"Ahem..." a certain mage cleared his throat, as Cloud and company were greeted by Schezo. Schezo had a red hand mark on his face, and it was obvious who was responsible for it.
"Yes?" Cloud asked Schezo, who held his hand out as he revealed his mistletoe. Cloud furrowed his brow as he accepted the mistletoe from Schezo.
"You can have it...I have no need for it anymore." A defeated Schezo walked away, wincing in pain as he held his face. Cloud and Aerith both looked at the mistletoe, as they both got the same idea.
"Kissing out in the open, in front of all these people?" an unexpected person asked Cloud and Aerith, who were greeted by a friend of theirs. Tifa was suddenly standing in their midst. "That's a pretty bold move."
"Tifa!" Cloud uttered the martial artist's name, hoping that Tifa didn't feel any type of way about what he was about to do. "You...you have no problem with it, do you?"
"I mean, you have the mistletoe. Better not let it go to waste." Tifa gave Cloud a smirk, and that gave Cloud the confidence to go through with the kiss.
So Cloud, wasting no time, went in and kissed Aerith. Cloud and Aerith had a romantic moment together, kissing in the middle of the living room as everyone was watching. Except for Marlene, whose's eyes were covered by Denzel's hand. Cloud's best friend Link was close to the action.
"Get a room, you two..." Link frowned at Cloud and Aerith, and when the Hylian turned away, he smiled and pumped his fist in excitement. Mario and Zelda entered the living room, watching the kiss unfold.
"Be honest with-a me - did you and E. Gadd conspire to have-a Cloud's 'protectors' make Cloud and Aerith an item?" Mario curiously asked Zelda, whose eyes were shifting left and right.
"We may have pushed things in the right direction," admitted Zelda, happily taking credit for any romantic developments that occurred in Arcadia Bay. No thanks to Gex and his troupe of misfits.
Or "family", as Cloud referred to them. And now Cloud was back in his original family...the Smash Mansion family.
