Is-there-somewhere-x: Thank you for the review, you'll have to keep reading to find out if they are reunited.

I am continuing the Matilda story, I just couldn't get this out of my mind. Includes the mention of two past characters. Set while Jessica and her children are in America, after the death of her baby.

Writing in Italics is a line taken from the episode that Jessica returned in.


The Secret Life Of Casualty.

Chapter 195.

Jessica's POV:

I watched my best friend, lie in the bedroom of the two storey - house that I brought. Silmiar to the one Sean and I had brought in 1998. It's been less than 2 weeks since I made the decision to leave my husband and take my children out of the country, but I wasn't thinking straight, I was blinded by grief for my baby.

I knew Linda was pregnant and I was happy for her, but I kept thinking back to my pregnancy, I was happy but

"Are you OK?" I asked. It wasn't like Linda to hide away. Linda says nothing. I knew she had been out drinking the night before, I had stayed at home,

I stepped forward and pulled the duvet away from her, as I often did with Lucas and Amelia when they wouldn't get up for school.

There was blood staining the crisp white sheets.

"Oh, Linda. " I feel the colour drain from my face as she bats a hand in my direction.

"I'm fine, Jess " She tells me.

But she wasn't. I knew what was happening to her, as a nurse I knew. I reach for my phone and call 911. And am informed than an ambulance is on it's way. I head down the stairs to wait for it. I hear a knock and unlock the door as two paramedics walk in. I direct them up the stairs, first floor, and they head up their, coming back down a few seconds later, with Linda.

"Mum?" I hear my daughter, call as I reach the bottom of the stairs.

"She's going to be fine " I smile. I go with her knowing that my friend, Lou will look after them.

Linda is sat down in a wheelchair, a blanket is placed over her. I get my bag, warn the children to behave and then lock the front door, I get in to the ambulance and it starts. The jounery is quiet, apart from the paramedics talking to each other.

"It's going to be fine, " I try to reassure but Linda doesn't seem to hear me. We soon arrive and I get out, allowing the paramedics to help Linda, a nurse brings over a wheelchair.

"Female, late 30's, miscarriage. BP 60/ 90. " Paramedics say, wheeling her in to a cubicle.

I looked at Linda, who is white as a sheet, as she is helped out of the wheelchair.

A nurse comes in, with a Doppler and puts it on Linda's skin, she still has a vacant look on her face.

The nurse says the words, no mum wants to hear. "I'm so sorry you've lost your baby "

I left her alone, I couldn't be around her. Call me selfish but I'd lost my own baby, my precious boy was in the ground. I go and get myself a tea from the vending machine and slowly drink it. I didn't like hospitals but then again, who did?

I head back to the cubicle and find my friend lying in the bed, an IV in her wrist, she is being kept in for observation. I decide to go home, I get a taxi as I've left my car at home.


Linda is discharged the next day, she gets a taxi home and uses the key I had given her when we moved here.

I make her a cup of tea and some toast, and although, she sips the tea, the toast reminds untouched.

"Jess?" she says. "How did it feel when you lost Harry?"

Linda never brings up my son. I felt angry, angry that Adam had abandoned our son in the water when he needed us, but when I asked him, all I got was.

"Jess, it was dark, I couldn't see him anywhere and you were there in front of me, and you were dying, Jess, you were dying, what was I supposed to do, leave you there?"

"I don't know. " I eventually tell her.

Adam's words once again, float through me. I had moved in to his house with him and I was 5 and a half months pregnant and he was doing pretty much everything for me. He was taking the bins out, doing my washing. Making my dinner. "It's going to be a-ok "

I pull my mind back to the present as Linda gets up, and heads upstairs, she goes in to her bag and picks out the pebble she had given me, she had took it off me, but gave me it back when she learned that I was fighting for my life. She accused Adam of sexual assault. I would have laughed when she told me, but I had found a scan picture of Harry. I traced my finger over my unborn child and tuck it back in to my purse. I had to stay strong for my children, they needed me and I needed them.

I go and see if Linda needed anything and when she said no, I headed to clean the kitchen and to smoke the kids something to eat. I make them chicken nuggets and chips and make myself a drink, going to head in to the living room and I curled up on the couch, looking through an old photo album, it is full of pictures of mine and Adam's weeding day. His arms are wrapped protectively around me, Harry is nuzzled in to Adam's neck and -"

"Hey. "

I smile back "You ok?" I ask, closing the album and putting it away.

This was my life now.