Nothing much to say here. This will be the last chapter of this story posted in The Cauldron. Hopefully, it will become a full story. But I didn't want to leave you guys hanging after the cliffhanger from the last chapter of Quoth the Raven... posted, plus there's some comedy courtesy of Leigharch. So, here it is.
QUOTH THE RAVEN...
CHAPTER 3:
SHENHUA, THE MEDIATOR
Shenhua was walking home from taking Leigharch to a doctor when she saw a shape land on a nearby wall. She almost reached for her throwing knives, only to realise it was a bird. In fact, it was a familiar bird. Even in the light from a nearby streetlight, those green eyes were distinctive before they snapped shut. The bird seemed to be hunched in a somewhat depressed way. It even convulsed in a way that seemed almost like sobbing.
Shenhua, bemused, crept closer. The bird didn't seem to notice her approach until she reached out and stroked its head. It opened its eyes and looked at her, before recoiling, hopping away long the wall, cawing at her.
"Hey, hey! I not hurt you, Vincent!" Shenhua said. "It okay!" For fuck's sake, she thought to herself. I'm talking to a bloody raven. It's like I'm trying to calm down someone who's freaking out.
Of course, it was Shenhua who freaked out, albeit briefly, when the raven warped and rippled, and then changed into a wild-haired man with the same eyes, dressed in ragged clothes, hunched over on the wall. "Leave me alone!" he snarled, before he leapt off the wall and dashed into the night…only to trip over a bottle someone had left on the footpath, smacking his head against the very wall he had leapt off as he went down.
Shenhua rolled her eyes, before going over to the man. Her initial surprise and fear had been replaced by bemusement. And not at his ability, either. You spent so much time as a bird, you forgot how to run like a man, she thought. She grimaced at the smell from his clothes as she carefully checked him, before nodding. As luck would have it, a back-alley doctor whose services she occasionally used was nearby. It was that doctor whom she had taken Leigharch to. The stupid Irishman who acted as her driver at times had burned himself badly after accidentally setting himself on fire during one of his drug-induced episodes. Even now, he was babbling like Hunter S Thompson after a big binge…
"Dogs fucked the Pope, no fault of mine…Watch out!...What money? My name is Brinks…" Leigharch babbled in the depths of his hallucinogenic fugue(1). Shenhua knew he usually stuck to marijuana or cocaine(2), but sometimes Leigharch liked to mix things up, and the results were usually disastrous. Even now, he tended to end up on Mars when he smoked marijuana, thanks to the damage done to his brain by drug cocktails, and Shenhua knew it was only a matter of time before he couldn't come back.
The back-alley doctor, an older, sunken-eyed man by the name of Dr Troughton(3), pursed his lips as he examined Vincent. "Chronic malnutrition, a minor concussion…" he muttered. "He's not in a good way, but frankly, he's in better condition than that idiot."
"Chocolate dice!" Leigharch shouted(4).
"Can't you tell him to take it easy on the drugs?" the doctor asked.
Shenhua shrugged. "You lead horse to water, but you can't make drink. Right?"
The doctor nodded wearily. "Incidentally, I need to ask, why are there raven feathers in his hair?" he indicated Vincent.
"Incident involving superglue and Leigharch," Shenhua said, hoping that would allay the doctor's suspicions. "Leigharch thought it funny to glue feathers to hobo."
Troughton nodded, before walking over to Leigharch, and slapping him. "Ow! Heh heh heh…lick the red chalk, it's delicious(5)!" the Irishman babbled.
"I think I have some decent clothes for him," Troughton muttered, looking back at Vincent. "He looks about my size, aside from looking like a scarecrow. I'm guessing that's why you brought him in? Because Leigharch hurt him while in that state, and when you went to apologise, he hurt himself?"
"Yeah. But he friend of Sawyer."
"Sawyer?" the doctor asked. "I didn't know she had any. Then again, she mostly keeps to herself."
Shenhua now blinked. She hadn't actually realised Sawyer was a woman, though given the concealing scrubs she invariably wore at UG Pork, it was hardly surprising. Then again, the figure was a bit short and slight for a man. "You know Sawyer?"
"She comes here sometimes for a check-up, apparently on your recommendation. She's a rather shy young woman," Troughton said. "And a rather dark past, if those scars are any indication. I personally think she needs a confidant, but she's a bit wary. Personally, you would make a good confidant, Shenhua. She doesn't speak much, she needs a device to talk, but when she does, we discussed you. Maybe she's found another in Vincent."
Shenhua looked down at Vincent thoughtfully, especially as she saw the lightning bolt-like scar snaking out from beneath his fringe. Then, as the ragged man stirred, she said, "I talk to him alone."
Troughton, recognising when he wasn't required, said, "I'll go and get those clothes. Do you want me to treat Leigharch elsewhere?"
"If you want."
"I AM CAPTAIN GORDON FREEMAN OF THE INTERGALACTIC HOUSE OF PANCAKES ORDERING YOU TO OPEN!" Leigharch bellowed as his gurney was wheeled away out of the main clinic area by Troughton(6). Then, as a parting shot before the door closed, he mumbled, "Carrot juice, carrot juice, vworp vworp, carrot juice…(7)"
Vincent groaned as his eyes flickered open in pain. "What the hell is wrong with that guy?" he asked, his voice a croaking rasp.
"How long list you want?" Shenhua said. She gently placed a hand on Vincent's shoulder. "Don't get up. You have concussion. And that mean you can't do transformation. Not without messing up. I know you Animagus."
Vincent blinked, and then stared at Shenhua. "Are you a witch?"
Shenhua snorted. "No, I not witch. I am…how you say in English? Squib, I think. I Squib. Parents ex-leaders of magic Triad in Taiwan. Long story. Now…why you with Sawyer?"
Vincent looked up at her, before he said, "I… It was wholly unintentional. I hadn't been able to change back from being a raven for months now. She fed me, and was kind to me, so I stayed with her. But then, when she was in danger, I managed to change back."
"In danger?" Shenhua asked. She had heard an explosion from the direction of the Yellow Flag.
Vincent nodded. "She went to some bar, the Yellow Flag or something, only for these goons in camouflage to start shooting things up. I had this premonition that there'd be trouble, so I followed her. Normally, I don't, I don't want to be seen as a stalker. I wanted to save her, so…I changed back, and set them on fire. But I realised…she recognised me. I don't know how, but I'm sure she recognised me. So I fled."
Shenhua peered at him. "You not peek at her while in shower or toilet? You not want to hurt her?"
"Of course not!" Vincent snapped.
"Then why you flee? You coward? Sawyer like you. Okay, she…No-Maj, I think. Oh, you British call her Muggle. But Statute of Secrecy lax around here. This Roanapur. And she like you. I think she forgive you. Or take chainsaw to your limbs."
"Thanks for the reassurance," Vincent muttered.
"It fine. I go see her while Leigharch comes back from Mars. I know her longer than you. I smooth things over…"
Sawyer didn't know what to think. After reading the note, which almost had the air of a suicide note, she curled up into a ball, hugging herself, on her bed in her apartment. She usually only did that when she lost her electrolarynx, or when something triggered the memories of her past. In a way, the note had done that. It reminded her of the suicide note her father ineptly forged, claiming it to be from her, before slitting her throat.
True, she had been somewhat angry at the deception, that somehow, Vincent was a raven who could turn into a man…or the other way around. But on the other hand, he had saved her life, setting those damned mercenaries on fire. Not only that, but he had listened to her as she spoke. Growing up, she had nobody who would listen to her, save for her broken mother. Not that that did much. And with her voice gone, she had become voiceless. She withdrew within.
She missed his companionship already. Despite falling into her life seemingly by accident, he had managed to find a way into it. And now he was out of it.
Her reverie was interrupted by the sound of the buzzer on the factory floor. Go away, she thought to herself. I don't want to see anyone, and there's no jobs scheduled.
Distantly, she heard Shenhua calling, "Sawyer! Sawyer, open up! Want talk with you! No job, just talk!"
Go away, go away, go away, Sawyer chanted in a deranged mantra.
But she wouldn't. Sawyer eventually decided, if there was anyone she could talk to about tonight's events, it'd be Shenhua. Even with her lack of communication with the Taiwanese assassin before, she had felt the strongest bond with her out of all of her clients.
She briefly considered donning her scrubs, before deciding not to. If only to see what Shenhua's reaction to her true appearance was like.
Shenhua was on the verge of going to find a way to break in when the door opened, and a rather upset-looking young woman of indeterminate age opened the door. She looked to be anywhere from her late teens to her mid-twenties, with a messy mop of dark hair framing cute features, though her dull eyes looked both bloodshot and tired. She was dressed in goth fashion, as Troughton noted. And there was the perverse choker-like ring of scars around her neck.
After a moment, Shenhua said, "It good to meet without scrubs, Sawyer. Can I come in?"
Sawyer, after a moment, nodded reluctantly, and let Shenhua enter. Sawyer led Shenhua through her workshop to a small canteen that was used by the meatpacking factory, back when it was fully staffed. She then fished a rod-like device from a belt, and pressed it to her throat. "Why did you come here Shenhua?" she asked in a buzzing monotone.
"To talk. This first time I see you out of work clothes. You look nice." Shenhua noticed Sawyer's eyes narrowing. She obviously wanted Shenhua to get to the point. So Shenhua sighed, steeling herself for what she was going to say, and said it. "I saw Vincent. I find him after taking Leigharch to Troughton. I thought him bird, until he change into man. Stupid man run, and trip, and knock himself silly. Took him to Troughton. We talk. So, thing you should know. He wizard."
Sawyer blinked, obviously bemused by that. Shenhua added, waving a hand, "Yes, magic real. I know. My parents magic. I what known as Squib: I have no magic, but born to magic parents. They ran Triad in Taiwan for wizards. Rivals killed them, nearly killed me. Long story. I tell you later if you interested. Vincent not just wizard, he Animagus. He turn into animal, yes? Difficult magic. What's more, Vincent not real name. I think I know who he really is."
Sawyer looked at her expectantly, so Shenhua said, "He really Harry Potter, I think. He has scar, green eyes, British, be about age Vincent is."
Sawyer pressed her electrolarynx to her throat. "Who is Harry Potter?"
"Long story. Short version, dark wizard called Voldemort terrorises Britain years ago. One day, he attack family called Potters. Father and mother die, but son survive curse that kill anyone. It like if you shot him in head, and bullet hole heals up. Voldemort disappears, maybe dead, and Harry become famous. Called 'Boy Who Lived'. Years later, he go to Hogwarts. That magic school in Scotland. I don't know details, as I not in that world now. But…I guess nothing good lately."
"How did you know it was him?" Sawyer asked.
"Scar," Shenhua tapped her forehead. "Harry supposed to have scar in shape of lightning on forehead. May not be him, but I have gut feeling. Stupid British called him messiah, but they fickle. Wizards fickle world over, though. Like humans in general. But my guess is, he fugitive."
"Why?"
Shenhua snorted. "Wizards retarded. Apparently, British wizards doubly so. Lot of inbreeding in old families. They'd turn on hero on whim. Or greed. Potters old family, old money. Invent excuse, throw him into Azkaban, throw away key, profit!"
"Azkaban?"
"British prison for wizards. Not nice place," Shenhua said with considerable understatement. "Full of soul-eating demons that make you depressed." As Sawyer looked askance at her, Shenhua said, hastily, "I not make this up! You saw Vincent use magic, yes?"
"I saw him set those mercenaries on fire with flames from his hands. You tell me."
"Look, he understandably worried about reaction from you. Especially as you good with chainsaw. But…he care about you. He told me he had premonition of attack. That's why he follow you. But when you saw it happen…he panic. Would you give him chance to apologise?"
Shenhua could see the gears turning in Sawyer's head, before she finally said, standing up as she did so, "Take me to him."
After a brief shower, Vincent had been given some of Doctor Troughton's older clothes, though thankfully, they fit him enough. Not fancy, but better than the rags masquerading as prison clothes they had made him wear in Azkaban. He had then had to sit in the same room as that high Irishman, who, while semi-conscious, occasionally murmured or sang deranged nonsense. Case in point, as he waited to hear back from Shenhua, Leigharch sang, off-key, David Bowie's Life on Mars.
He'd fallen asleep in the chair in the room, despite Leigharch's utterances, before he was woken up by a gentle shaking of his shoulder. He opened his eyes blearily, only to start when he found Sawyer's eyes peering into his own. She brushed aside his fringe to peer at his scar.
Then, her lips came close to his ear. She whispered, "Just answer me one thing."
He nodded, not liking where this was going. "I'll try."
"…Was it you who shit on Revy's head?"
He blinked, not expecting the question. Shenhua, who had overheard the question, said, "What? You shit on slut's head as raven?"
"Umm, yeah. Stupid trigger-happy bitch shot at me when I first arrived in Roanapur. I shat in her eyes for it. Shitting on her head tonight was a bonus."
Sawyer and Shenhua blinked, before the pair of them started laughing. With Sawyer, it was little more than a sort of grotesque croaks through her ruined larynx, but genuine all the same. "Ha! Twinkie used as bird toilet! Serves her right!" Shenhua chortled.
With that, a good chunk of the tension had been dispelled. Oh, not all of it, not by any means, but the ice had been broken. And the first steps had truly been made for a friendship between the three of them…
…And between Vincent and Sawyer, something a little more…
CHAPTER 3 ANNOTATIONS:
So, Shenhua, instead of Sawyer, has the magical past in this story, and she helped mediate between Sawyer and Vincent. Oh, and she knows a little of Vincent's past as Harry Potter.
We'll have a timeskip for the next chapter. I want their relationship to be a bit better established. Incidentally, the timeline will be that of the anime, for the most part, but some elements will be from the manga.
Isn't Leigharch fun to write for? Seriously, why doesn't he appear beyond the arc Shenhua first appears in? Maybe he was a Time Lord, and regenerated into Lotton after his brain was fried? That'd explain a lot…
1. This babble comes from Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, namely when Raoul Duke and Dr Gonzo take some ether. Supposedly, this is what Duke babbled while trying to get into Circus Circus. God knows what Hunter S Thompson actually said under the influence…
2. In the manga, it was cocaine, in the anime, it was marijuana. I decided that Leigharch has both, and more, in this story.
3. I thought of Patrick Troughton or his son David for the role of this back-alley doctor, hence the name, though the former would be more likely to have clothes that would fit a post-Azkaban Harry…incidentally, little bit of trivia. Dudley Dursley is played by Harry Melling…who is actually Patrick Troughton's grandson.
4. One of Jim's more bizarre utterances in the Star Wars webcomic Darths and Droids, where the entire Star Wars series (well, original trilogy and prequels, anyway) is retold as a tabletop RPG. It's brilliant, funny, and highly recommended. In the webcomic, Jim plays, amongst other roles, Qui-Gon, Padme, and Han Solo. I'm sure that if Black Lagoon was a tabletop RPG, he'd be playing Revy. Ben (who originally plays Obi-Wan) would play Dutch, Sally perhaps Balalaika or Shenhua or Sawyer, and Annie would play Rock. Dunno who Pete would play, though Benny is a possibility.
5. While Homestuck is yet to come out at the time of this story's setting (late 90s to 2000), Leigharch is channelling Terezi Pyrope, a blind Troll who can tell the colours of things by licking them. She loves the colour red.
6. Again, this reference is from a show after this story's setting, but Half-Life was released shortly beforehand. The line comes from the third episode of Freeman's Mind, a sort of hybrid of Let's Play and Abridged Series where Gordon Freeman's thoughts are audible, showing him to be a neurotic, narcissistic and somewhat unhinged individual. And it's hilarious. That version of Gordon Freeman ended up in my Portal crossover, Is Your Great-Aunt an AI?!
7. I once read this in a book or magazine of Doctor Who, where the Sixth Doctor's last words on TV ("Carrot juice, carrot juice, carrot juice…") while the TARDIS dematerialises is mocked this way. 'Vworp! Vworp!' is the standard onomatopoeia for the TARDIS' sound in comics. I personally think it's naff.
