Erin frowned and rubbed her stomach absently, feeling unbelievably queasy that morning. Pushing away from her desk, she hurried out of her office and headed to the nearest bathroom, barely making it into the stall before dropping to her knees and throwing up her breakfast. "Ma'am? Are you all right?"
Helen's voice caused her to smile a little as she shakily rose to her feet once more, flushing away the sick and heading out to the sinks, washing her hands and face before looking at her assistant. "I think that you can call me Erin at this point, Helen. And I think I need you to run another errand for me."
"Of course! What will help you ease away how you feel?"
Erin pursed her lips as she shook her head. "I don't need something to settle my stomach. I'll need you to run to the nearest drug store and purchase a pregnancy test and a bottle of orange juice. And I think that it goes without saying, but please do not breathe a word about this to anyone." Helen nodded solemnly as she reached out to pat her shoulder. Together, they went back to the office, and Erin slipped into her inner sanctum to grab her purse and take out a few bills for Helen to use, not knowing how much a pregnancy test cost these days. "Thank you."
Helen nodded and left her alone in the office, which allowed Erin to sink down into her chair and bury her hand in her face, counting back how long it had been since that drunken night in the hotel. Six weeks, which was right on time for her morning sickness to kick in, and she let out a deep sigh as she tried to tell herself that she was blowing things out of proportion. There was no way that she could have gotten pregnant from one night of sex, not when it had taken her and Alan three years of trying to conceive Karen. So this was just a bug and the test was just a precaution.
Somehow, Erin managed to distract herself until Helen returned with the discreet bag and the largest single serve bottle of orange juice Erin had ever seen. "I went with something fresh squeezed, since that's better for you, just in case."
"I really appreciate this, Helen," she murmured as she took her change from the woman and dumped it into her desk drawer before cracking open the bottle and taking a large swig. The acidity of the juice did manage to calm the roiling lurking in her stomach, and she drew in a few deep breaths as she finished as much of the juice as she could before feeling the need to pee. Opening the bag, she slipped the pregnancy test into her pocket and left her office, sparing a small smile for Helen as she went past her desk.
As Erin sat in the stall, waiting for the results of the test, she thought about how this was the last place on Earth that she wanted to be to learn she was pregnant. The three minutes seemed to tick by so slowly, and the growing sense of dread that began to fill her body as she waited. Finally, the time was up, and she picked up the pregnancy test and choked back a sob to see that she was indeed pregnant. "What the fuck am I going to do?"
In a daze, she get to her feet and flushed the toilet before stepping out and washing her hands. Erin looked at her reflection in the mirror, hardly recognizing the pale, drawn, face that stared back at her. Shaking her head a little, willing away tears, Erin took a deep breath and straightened her shoulders before slipping the pregnancy test up her sleeve, not wanting anyone to find it in the bathroom and potentially make the connection between her visit and the positive pregnancy test. It took some effort, but she managed to keep her cool mask on her face as she went back into her office, though Helen have her a stricken look as she passed by her desk.
As she sank down onto her sofa, she heard Helen enter and close the door, but she didn't look up at her as she struggled not to cry. "I take it that you got results you didn't want?"
"You would be correct. I'm pregnant, and my life is about to change radically." Helen reached out and patted her knee gently, and she drew in a shuddery breath as she turned her head and looked at her assistant. "Alan's going to know that the baby isn't his. The truth is going to come out in the worst way possible, and it's my fault because I couldn't own up to my betrayal."
"There's still a possibility that it's Alan's, you know. There has to be a failure rate with vasectomies, right?"
She gave Helen a desperate, quasi-hopeful, look and shrugged. "I have no idea."
"Well, why don't you ask that new technical analyst for the BAU? She's supposed to be brilliant at finding out information about anything faster than you could say the word. As long as you don't tell her who you think that father is, you should be safe. Right?"
Erin shrugged again as she swiped angrily at her cheeks. "Perhaps. I, I should go talk with her and see if she can give me a larger ray of hope. Thank you, Helen."
She nodded and got to her feet before helping Erin to stand. "You are most welcome. And I'll order your favorite Chinese for lunch today. You need something comforting to make up for the hell your mind is putting yourself through right now."
Erin smiled as she tugged on her suit jacket to remove any unseen wrinkles and took a deep breath. "That sounds delicious, thank you." She then sailed out of the office and out into the hall before making her way into the bullpen, feeling numerous pairs of eyes start to track her as she made her way over to Ms. Garcia's office. Erin tried to ignore the weight of the stares, but swallowed thickly nonetheless as she raised her hand to knock firmly on the door.
"Can I help you, ma'am?" the younger woman asked as she opened the door, and Erin nodded as she tried not to comment on the outfit she was wearing, knowing that was a battle she did not want to wage, not when there were other battles that needed her attention. "Come inside."
She felt like a bobblehead as she nodded once more, entering the office and following Ms. Garcia over to her desk. "I have a rather personal question to ask of you. My assistant thought that you would be able to source the information quicker than either of us would be able to." Unconsciously, her hand covered her stomach as she drew in a deep breath. "And I would rather not have these searches show up on my computer here, since it is rather sensitive."
"Of course, ma'am, I completely understand. What do you need me to look up for you?"
"The failure rate on vasectomies done in the last seven years."
Ms. Garcia's eyes widened as she glanced down at Erin's stomach, a hesitant smile spreading across her lips. "Are you, that it, is this search that personal in nature?"
She wanted to commend the woman on her tact, but still felt in a bit of a haze over the truth that she was facing, and so she nodded. "Yes, it is. The person in question had a vasectomy shortly after the birth of his third child, and his wife has found herself in a most unexpected situation. While I advised that it was virtually impossible that someone should become pregnant after something like that had occurred, she still is holding out hope that it is possible."
Ms. Garcia gave her a small nod of understanding as she turned to her computers and began to type away on her keyboard quickly. "Well, it appears that there is a tiny sliver of hope for this woman, since it appears that there is a one percent failure rate with vasectomies. I hope that it I'm not speaking out of turn when I tell you to tell your…friend congratulations on her pregnancy, however unexpected it is."
A sharp gasp caused Erin to whirl around and look into Aaron's brown eyes, watching them narrow as they flickered down to her stomach before meeting her eye once more. "Thank you for quickly finding out that information, Ms. Garcia," she murmured quietly as she brushed past Aaron, knowing that she had to escape as quickly as possible before being called out by him in front of all of his colleagues.
