"All right, bella, what can I get you to drink? If I remember rightly, your usual is a dry martini, yes?"
Erin nodded a little before catching herself. "Normally, yes. Tonight, I'm just going to have a Shirley Temple."
David's eyebrows rose a little in surprise before he nodded and stepped away from their table to head up to the bar. In that moment, Erin knew that she had just given herself away, and she regretted agreeing to come to his favorite bar when they could have just as easily headed out for coffee. Though that would have given her away as well, since she knew that she shouldn't have caffeine at the moment. A deep sigh slipped out of her lips as she folded her hands over her stomach and stared at the table, trying to keep the tears at bay once more.
"All right, Erin, spill. Why is this pregnancy making you so sad?"
She accepted the glass from his hand and took a small sip before bursting into tears. "You're going to hate me as much as I hate myself and as much as Alan will hate me when he finds out that I'm pregnant."
"Erin…"
"No, don't comfort me," she muttered as she waved his hand away. "I have fucked everything up, David. And not just once, but twice. Two times I exercised such poor judgement, and I just, I need your help. Please."
He finished his reach across the table, taking hold of her free hand and tightening his fingers around it as he cocked his head to one side. "I take it that the baby is not Alan's?" She shook her head. "Who did you sleep with?"
"Aaron Hotchner." Her voice was a harsh whisper, but she knew that he had heard her by the way his hand squeezed hers almost painfully tight. "The first time, where I ended up pregnant, was just after the Bale incident. We both ended up at the same bar and got progressively more and more drunk, and decided to share a cab home. Only, we didn't head to our homes, but a hotel. I think you can infer what happened from there, seeing as how you still have quite the reputation in the BAU. He walked out on me the next morning, and I realized that I had made a horrible mistake."
"You were drunk."
"That might excuse the first time we slept together, it most certainly does not explain away what happened this afternoon. I went to the new technical analyst, Penelope Garcia, to see if she could tell me about the likelihood of Alan's vasectomy failing. She said that the chances are less than one percent, and now thinks that I'm having a miracle baby."
"And Aaron fits into that how?"
There was none of the recrimination that she had expected in his voice, and she dared to look up into his eyes, giving him a watery smile before taking another sip of her drink. "He walked into her office towards the end of our conversation. And I knew that he knew. So I did what any sane person would have done and fled home. Only, he found me there, and we argued, and things got out of hand. I could have said no, I could have made the right choice, but I didn't. I allowed him to screw me on my sofa, and reveled in it, because it allowed me to work out my anger and fear. Aaron is so furious with me, though. I think he thinks that I'm going to tell his wife about the baby. But I don't want to ruin his marriage just because the truth will ruin my marriage. That's not fair to her. So, David, how do I manage to get myself out of this disaster that I made of my life in seven short weeks?"
Erin broke down crying once more, feeling like everyone in the bar was noticing her distress, and she scooted closer to the wall, trying to hide away from the prying eyes that she was certain were watching her. David noticed the reaction, as he got up from his side of the booth and slid in next to her, one arm encircling her shoulders as the other rested on her knee, his thumb rubbing back and forth in an effort to soothe her. Letting out a heaving breath, she thumped against his chest, curling the fingers of one hand into the fabric of his shirt as she took a few gulping breaths in as she tried to keep from crying. "Let it out, Erin. You won't feel better until you do."
She nodded jerkily before turning her face into his shirt and allowing herself to cry. It was easy to allow him to comfort her, even though their history was so rocky, since he wasn't judging her for what she had done. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to be a complete mess tonight. I was hoping that we could have an adult conversation. I think the hormones are already setting me off balance."
"Well, your body is trying to grow a new life in it. All right, Erin, let's sit up and have that adult conversation. You're only seven weeks along, you don't have to carry this pregnancy to term, and only three people would ever know that you had been pregnant."
She shuddered as she picked up her drink and took a long sip. "There's just one small problem with that very good option. I've so desperately wanted a fourth child since Tabitha was born that I'm already attached to this life. Even though it's going to torpedo everything, this is very much a complicated, wanted, pregnancy."
"All right, so you're going to have to explain to Alan about how either he's that one percent miracle case where things grew back or that you made a mistake. Krystall knew that I had made such a mistake before I could tell her, which was what led to our marriage dissolving. But if I had been open with her from the beginning, I might have been able to salvage our marriage."
She nodded a little as she twisted the glass around in her hands. "But it wasn't just one mistake. It was two. The first might have happened when we couldn't exactly talk about boundaries, but I was fully sober for the second time."
"And you'll have to explain that to him. But you don't have to do it tonight. Not when you're so off kilter, because that won't be good for either of you. And you're not showing yet, so you could even take a few weeks to think about how you're going to tell him. But that will just mean that you have to act normally around him, and not like you're guilty. Even as the guilt eats away at you."
Erin laughed a little as she shook her head. "I am well familiar with guilt, David. Alex still refuses to speak with me, and that's a wound that refuses to close. Even after all these years." Picking up her glass, she took another sip before frowning into the empty glass. "Can I get another?"
"Of course. I'll be right back."
She nodded as she settled back in the booth and waited for him to reappear. "Thank you."
"You're welcome, Erin. And I also want you to know that I will be here to support you no matter what happens next in your life, because I understand a little of what it's like to be in your position. Are you thinking of names for her yet?"
"Her?"
"You've had two girls already, Erin. I'm just feeling things out based on the current trend." She laughed, a true laugh, and shook her head as she smiled at him. "See, this is why you need me in your life, babe. I will make you laugh when you most need it."
"You are incorrigible, but I suppose that that is what I need right now. If things go to hell?"
"You can count on me as a friend, I promise." She smiled at him and nodded, nursing her drink as they began to talk about his latest book, and how well it was doing on the charts.
