"Jessica told me that we were all meeting here after the case?"
Erin nodded as she welcomed him into their house, hearing David come into the kitchen from the garage. "Yes. And since you're home early enough, we can all have supper together, before I give you something, and I have highest hopes that it will please you." Aaron gave her an odd look, and she just smiled placidly as she brought him into the dining room. Everyone else was already seated around the table, and Erin felt her heart spasm a little as she took Catherine from Karen's arms and took her seat at the head of the table, watching Aaron sit down between Jack and Elise.
"Everyone's waiting for me?" David said as he entered the room, stopping next to her side and bending down to brush his lips against the crown of her head. "Well, let me take a seat, and then we can start eating." He caressed her shoulder before heading to the opposite end of the table and taking a seat. Holding out his hands, David waited until everyone was clasping their neighbours' hands before saying a short blessing over the meal and then digging in.
Erin found it a bit awkward to eat with one hand, but she made it work, as she was loathe to let go of her daughter, knowing that she had to hang on to all the precious moments that she had with her, as time moved so quickly. Once the meal was finished, her older children cleared the table while Jessica took Jack and Elise to the playroom. "And that is our cue to head to the living room. David, would you mind making me some tea before joining us?" He nodded as they got to their feet, and Erin let out a pleased sigh when Aaron placed his hand in the small of her back, leading her into the living room.
"Is now when I get to see my surprise?" he asked as they both took a seat on the sofa. Erin nodded and gestured towards the coffee table with her hand before unbuttoning her blouse and adjusting her bra so that she could feed Catherine while they were talking. "It's a little late for Christmas."
"I know that, Aaron, but it took me a while to come up with this idea, and then it took a few weeks for Penelope and I to find the perfect layout and then for it to be produced. Please, open it?"
He nodded as he pulled the book into his lap and delicately unwrapped it. While Erin had always assumed him to be the type to hurriedly tear off the paper of gifts, Christmas had proven her wrong, and it seemed that it was still true. A large part of her wanted him to just get on with it and rip the paper off, since she wanted to see his reaction to the photo book. Jessica had loved it, assuring her that Aaron would also be touched by the thoughtfulness that had gone into the creation of it. Finally, he set the paper on the table before lifting the lid off the box she'd found to house the book, taking it out before setting the box on the coffee table as well.
Aaron opened the cover of the book, and a still silence fell over the room as she waited for him to say anything about what he was looking at. As the quiet stretched out, she started to think that maybe she had made a terrible mistake, and Erin began to worry her lower lip between her teeth as she waited for some sort of reaction from him. Finally, he cleared his throat and turned his head to look at her, quiet tears rolling down his cheeks. "Erin…"
"It's not every picture that we have of her, otherwise you would probably have a stack of five or six books. But I chose the best of them for you. Because you didn't have the opportunity to be a part of Elise's early life, I wanted you to have the best memories of that time. I know that you'll have questions about them, and even though I don't like talking about myself, I will be more than happy to talk about Leelee. Because I want us to be the family that we should have been from the very beginning, and this is my small way of starting to make thing right."
He nodded as he turned the page, a smile flitting across his lips as he looked at the christening pictures of Elise. "I wondered where this went. Haley told me that we must have lost it during one of our moves. Did she know, even back then, that we were lying to ourselves?"
Erin nodded. "She knew, yes. And she understood why I wanted to keep the truth hidden at the time. I, I truly came to think of her and Jessica as the sisters I was never blessed with, and I hope you know that I would have done anything to save her, if it had been possible. I know that I keep coming back to this, but I feel like I failed her when she needed me to be better."
Aaron set the book aside so that he could turn and look at her, one hand settling on her knee. "I loved her until the end, and I know that I failed her. You were placed in an untenable position, where you had to think about protecting Catherine along with Jack and Elise, and then you were paralyzed by fear at watching Foyet fuck around with you and Haley while talking to me. He was evil personified, and there was no way you could have planned for his level of cruelty. But at least our children are alive and well."
She nodded as Catherine fussed against her breast. Turning aside for a moment, she switched sides with her daughter before turning back to him. "But that doesn't assuage the guilt that I feel. Somedays, it's so crushing. But I have Jess, and my babies, and David, and the few friends I've let in close enough to see behind the walls I put up. And that is probably as close as you'll get to see above that wall. I'm sorry."
"There's nothing to be sorry for, Erin. The way I treated you five years ago, when you ended up pregnant, I understand." Aaron's hand rubbed her knee softly, and she nodded as she fought back her own tears. "And I love the book. This is the perfect thing to help me fill in the gaps of Elise's early life."
Erin gave him a wobbly smile as she adjusted how she was holding Catherine. "And like I said, if you have any questions or want stories about some of the pictures, feel free to ask me or David."
Aaron gave her a tender smile, an expression she never thought she'd see on his face again after the death of Haley, and she rubbed her lips together a little as she waited for David to come with her tea. She needed something to do with her mouth and hands so as not to feel so awkward. As if her fiancé could read her thoughts, he came in a few moments later, Jessica on his heels, and she allowed herself to relax as he set the tray with teacups and a teapot on the table before taking a seat next to her and reaching for Catherine. Erin handed their daughter over to him before adjusting her bra and buttoning her shirt. "Here, let me pour you some tea," Jessica said before doing just that, giving her a quick hug before pouring a cup for herself and taking a seat in one of the chairs. "Jack and Elise are entertaining Tabitha with some reenactment of their favorite cartoon, but I told them that you'd probably be ready to leave in an hour or so. After all, they have school and we all have work."
"Yes, that is true, but I love having us all here. These are the moments that I live for, and I wish this peace could last."
"Given the jobs we do, that is definitely a wish that only God can grant." Aaron patted her knee before pouring his own tea, and they all settled back to talk about their day and how the kids were doing. It felt good to be in this place, and though she knew that Aaron was right, this peace couldn't last, Erin still knew she would hold on to it for as long as possible.
