I am sorry it's been so long! The "Alvin's Greatest Gifts" fanmade Christmas album I was working on took a LOT more time than I expected. Nevertheless, I am determined to continue Alvin's journey so that you all can FINALLY understand how he came to call himself Alvin 2.0.
I hope you're all having an amazing holiday season and I wish you a Happy New Year!
Also, check out Alvin's Greatest Gifts now on my YouTube channel! It's easy to find! just search "Alvin's Greatest Gifts" and it should pop up. It's a celebration of 65 years of AATC! My friends and I worked super hard on it.
Now, onto our tale…
Genius-Alvin's POV
Hey, it's everyone's favorite half-rockstar and half-scientist! I'm back again to bring you another thrilling installment of my origin story! I warned you that things get pretty crazy. And if I didn't, well, I MEANT to. Sorry 'bout that. It just gets crazier from this point on. Think you're prepared? Think again!
Anyway, when we last left off, I had just dropped an earth shattering realization on my brother Simon. We live in a CARTOON! Who would have expected that? Not me, of course. Although, that would explain why I sometimes felt more like a cartoon character than a real person. Apparently, that's because I AM ONE!
I couldn't let Si and I handle this huge secret on our own! We had to tell Theo and the girls! Then, we could all decide what to do with this information that we all clearly weren't supposed to have.
The biggest question was, would Theo and the girls even believe us? They probably wouldn't believe me, but I had Simon to back me up. Surely, they'd at least trust him. Right?
That's what was on my mind as I stood on the treehouse patio with my brother in the cobalt blue shirt. I noticed he had tied his midnight blue jacket around his waist, which wasn't a usual Simon thing to do. I had to admit, it looked pretty cool.
"So how are we supposed to do this?" He asked, rubbing his temples.
I shrugged. "I was hoping you'd figure that out."
"I don't know what to say! Or how to explain it! Or….even how it fully works!" Simon was cracking under the pressure, as he often did.
"We'll just rip the band aid off then. Let them puzzle it out on their own." I suggested.
"No, that's worse." He moaned. "We have to ease them in somehow."
I fidgeted with the alien pin on my cyan hoodie. "I can open with uhhh…." My mind was coming up blank, but I refused to admit defeat. "…I'll think of something. You know I'm great at improvising."
"USED to be." Simon reminded me. "We have no idea if you still are."
"Pretty sure I am." I said with at least 30% of my confidence. The rest was still missing in action, but hey, at least some of it had returned.
Brittany answered the door at last. She was still wearing the necklace I gave her. I'm glad she liked it.
The Chipette looked at us with an annoyed expression. "I just got back from Tracy's party. What do you want?"
I scowled. "Way to rub it in." I should have been at Tracy's party. I would have been if I hadn't decided to be a snitch.
"You chose your side." The Chipette sneered. "What do you want?"
"We….err….uh…." Simon stammered. "Are your sisters home?"
Brittany nodded. "Yeah. Why?"
Simon looked at me and I tried to decide what to say as quickly as possible. Could I still improvise? Or did trading part of my brain for Simon's make that impossible?
"We gotta talk to you guys about something BIG! HUGE! Something that could change life as we know it!" I sputtered out at hyperspeed.
Brittany groaned. "I think I've had enough changes to last a lifetime, so...no thanks." She started to shut the door.
Simon stopped her by shouting "WAIT!"
"He's got you in on this too?" The girl in the fuschia off shoulder top and light pink ruffled skirt opened the door all the way. "Okay, fine. But make it quick. I'm trying to enjoy what's left of my Saturday."
A few minutes later, we all gathered in the Chipettes living room. Jeanette and Eleanor were there as well. Eleanor was scrolling through her phone and Jeanette was fidgeting with a plum colored gel pen.
"Okay, so, you aren't going to believe this. It's going to rock your world to the very core. Nothing will ever be the way it was. Are you ready? Are ya all seated? Ready to embark on a thrilling adventure of self discovery and…." I started my explanation off, but I was interrupted by the girl in the round purple spectacles.
"Are we missing anyone?" Jeanette looked toward the door.
Eleanor let out a heavy sigh. "I'm right here."
"I still think we're missing someone." Her sister continued.
Suddenly, the answer came to me. "THEODORE!" I exclaimed. "He was supposed to meet up with us! I sent him a text."
"Can't we just do whatever this is without him?" Brittany complained, loudly.
I shook my head. "It affects all 6 of us. We're the main characters."
"And he's talking about TV tropes again. Eleanor, you owe me ten bucks." The Chipette in pink held her hand out to her pigtailed sister in the hoodie with watermelon designs.
"Darn it." Eleanor groaned.
"Am I late?" A voice higher than all of ours (except maybe Jeanette) said. Phew! Theo had arrived! Right on schedule!
"No. You're not. Alvin's just been rambling our ears off." Brittany commented.
My youngest brother took a seat on the couch next to Eleanor. "Oh good. I'm glad I didn't miss anything important."
That got a chuckle out of both Brittany and Simon. I felt slightly annoyed, but I didn't let it get under my skin. I was working on growing a thicker skin after all.
"Can I tell ya what I came to tell ya and blow your minds now?" I asked, tapping my foot impatiently.
Jeanette smiled. "Yeah. You're good to go."
I took a deep breath. "We've been stuck in the same year of high school for at least 8 years."
"No way." Eleanor rolled her eyes.
Brittany scoffed. "Is that another one of your hunches?"
"An educated hunch!" I gestured to Simon and he stepped into the center of the room to join me.
"Alvin is correct." He added, backing me up like a brother should. "He figured it out when he realized we only have yearbooks from 10th grade."
"So we can never get….older?" Jeanette pondered aloud.
Her older sister stood up and crossed her arms. "Real funny prank you two. Simon, I can't believe you're with him on this."
"It's not a prank!" I insisted. "We live in something called a floating timeline. They're actually really common in cartoons." I covered my mouth.
"Wait a minute." Eleanor's ears twitched. "Are you saying we live in a cartoon?"
"Whaaaaat?" Theodore gasped. "That's crazy!"
I hadn't intended to just blurt that out, but I had to make the best of it. "Yes. That's exactly what I'm saying."
Brittany stared at me with her mouth agape. "You're actually….serious? You think we're all cartoon characters?"
"Well, technically, we WERE." Simon explained, casting a glance at me.
I smiled a sheepish half smile. "Yeah. Turns out, once you become, you know, self aware, you're actually more like a real person…mentally. So now we're technically real people trapped in a cartoon world." My smile inverted itself into a frown. "Oof, that sounds…kinda like torture."
"I say we make the best of it." Jeanette folded her hands in her lap.
"MAKE THE BEST OF IT!?" Brittany shrieked, now believing us. "HOW ARE WE SUPPOSED TO MAKE THE BEST OF KNOWING WE AREN'T EVEN…REAL!?"
"Alvin just said we are real." My tallest brother reminded the frantic girl in pink.
"Well, real-ish." I poked myself in the arm. "I feel pretty real, anyway."
Eleanor groaned. "Forget the cartoon thing. Let's focus on the bigger problem. We CAN'T AGE!?"
"My eyes definitely aged." I grumbled bitterly. "You know…" Something crossed my mind that the new information about the nature of our world triggered. "I bet the eye doctor was right about my eyes still having a few good years in them. Even though it seems like months, it's probably been at least 2 years since I got glasses."
"One year and a half actually." Simon corrected. Not sure how he knew that, but best not to question it. We all had bigger issues. "Can we get back to the not aging thing?"
Theodore grinned widely. "This is great!" He exclaimed. "I never want to grow up anyway! In fact, it's one of my biggest fears!" At least one of us was okay with the news.
"I already feel like both a kid and an adult at the same time." Jeanette tapped her chin. "A kid-dult." That word definitely encapsulated my feelings on the situation as well.
I was a total kid-dult. You know how some people worry they'll become their parents? I'd become a weird mixture of myself, my dad, and my brother. I'm not really sure how to feel about that.
Meanwhile, Brittany's life was crumbling around her. She was realizing all the limits placed on the 6 of us, and presumably everyone else in this universe.
She paced around the room. "You mean I can never get engaged? Get married? Start a family? By which I mean, adopt a pet with my loving spouse because I am NEVER having kids, even if I could grow up."
Eleanor slouched in the chair. "This sucks." She muttered.
"I concur." Simon added, sitting down in a chair.
Yeah. It really DID kinda suck. Especially when I spent so long proving that I could be mature. Now I was basically stuck as a mature kid forever. Wisdom in your youth isn't very fun.
"No one's ever going to see me as a man….or take me seriously." I said aloud.
"This is it then? We can't change it?" Simon asked, his blue eyes containing a brief glimmer of hope before I snuffed it out.
I shook my head. "No. Ya wanna break the show more?"
"Hold up." Eleanor raised her hand. "What do you mean break it MORE?"
"Oh right. I never told you guys." I confessed. "I think me becoming a nerd has pretty much broken the formula of this show." I rubbed my neck nervously. "Pretty sure I was meant to be one of those Bart Simpson type rabble rousers…and well…my shenanigans as Si calls them, well, they probably drove the plot."
"I bet Dave yelling at you drove the plot." Eleanor chuckled.
Brittany pouted her bubblegum colored lips. "And you STILL don't wanna go back?"
I looked at her. There were tears in the corner of her icey blue eyes. I mustered up my courage and didn't give in. "Nope. I'm pretty comfy where I am now, mostly." I squeaked. "Still half-rabble rouser." Or sometimes 1/4th, depending on the day.
Poor Theodore was still trying to wrap his head around all this. "But the show can't just stay broken, can it?"
"I guess we'll find out." I said.
"Guys! I just thought of something else tragic!" Brittany put a hand on her forehead and collapsed dramatically into Simon's lap. He was startled, but he allowed her to stay as she continued to wail. "We'll never get to go to prom! Prom is only for Juniors and Seniors! Sophomores can only go if an upperclassman asks them. I was so looking forward to being the prom queen."
Urgh. I didn't wanna think about prom! Or homecoming! "Well, prom king's pretty much off the table for me." I quipped. "You might still be homecoming queen." I hoped saying that could make Britt feel a tiny bit better. I really did care about her. It hurt to see her so distressed, even if her priorities were extremely skewed.
"Why did we have to be stuck in 10th grade!? It's like THE WORST year of high school! Nothing exciting happens!" She got up from the chair that Simon was in and paced the room again.
"There goes….literally all my plans for the future." Simon frowned and looked hurt. I hadn't expected him to take the news this hard. Then I remembered how much he fretted about getting recommended for a good smart person college like Harvard. That couldn't happen if he was trapped in 10th grade for eternity.
Theodore came over to put a hand on Simon's shoulder. "Don't worry. We'll help you make your future bright no matter what."
"I say we break this show more." Eleanor proposed, tenting her fingers together like a supervillain. "Alvin already busted it up good. What's the worst that could happen?"
I couldn't let her take that chance. My new self had become quite risk-averse. Which was, sadly, yet another trait that was opposite the old Alvin.
"NO!" I screamed, holding up both my hands frantically.
"Alvin's right. We'll just have to adjust." Theodore squeaked in agreement.
Brittany slumped onto the floor and stared up at the ceiling. "Can't believe it's been 8 years."
"That we know of." Simon told her, looking at her sympathetically. "Who knows how many yearbooks got lost?"
"Come on, aren't you a little curious what'll happen if we break the show more?" The youngest Chipette poked at me.
"Cut it out, Ells." I scolded her.
At that moment, the entire treehouse started to shake. We all started panicking. Simon dove under the Chipettes' kitchen table. Eleanor and Brittany caught various items falling from the shelves. Jeanette hugged Theodore and Theo put a pillow over his ears to muffle our screaming.
"What's going on?" I asked, as startled as the rest of them, but able to keep a clear head in this crisis situation.
"It's an EARTHQUAKE, you buffoon!" Simon yelled.
It felt like ages until the shaking stopped, but it was only about two minutes.
Once it stopped, we ran outside to survey the damage. The street in front of our houses had a large crack running through it. This was NOT a good sign.
"Is everyone okay?" Eleanor asked.
Theo nodded and held her hand. "I'm a little shaken up…no pun intended."
"I'm alright too." Brittany reported.
"Oh my gosh." Simon pointed to the large crack. Now, it wasn't a gaping hole leading to a pit of lava or anything, just a GIANT crack in the surface of the road. Whoever they hired to repair it, had a big job ahead.
"That's strange." Jeanette paced from one end of the crack to the other. "Why does it end abruptly at Bocarter's house?"
"Oh no!" I gasped. The pieces all fit together. The discovery! The earthquake! They HAD to be connected! "Guys, do you realize what this means!?"
"That our house could have been destroyed!" Whimpered Theodore.
"Well, yes, but that's not what I'm talking about." I frowned. "I caused this." I pointed to the crack.
"Alvin, no." Simon told me with concern on his face. "I don't know why you've gone from thinking nothing is your fault to assuming everything is your fault."
"Yeah. You don't control natural disasters." Eleanor elbowed me. "Even though you are a natural disaster sometimes."
"And California gets earthquakes all the time." Brittany insisted. "Nothing strange about that,..right?" The pause indicated she still had doubts.
"Localized entirely on our street?" I asked, studying the crack that only ran in front of the Chipettes treehouse, Miss. Miller's house, and our house.
"Errr…I suppose it's a bit unusual." Simon scratched his head.
I gulped. "Guys, forget breaking the show, I think I might have broken the whole universe."
Simon and the three girls exchanged worried glances.
"It is…rather coincidental timing." Jeanette said softly.
Theodore looked up at me with his big chocolate brown eyes. "How do we un-break it?"
Crap! How was I supposed to answer that? How could we become un-self aware again? We couldn't. It was like toothpaste that had been let out of the tube. I made a grave mistake.
"Uhhh….I don't think we CAN." I admitted. "And we definitely don't wanna tell anyone else. I really wanted to tell Dave, but…" I looked at the crack in the middle of Liberty Lane. "…It's best not to risk it."
"Yeah. He might have a heart attack." My brother in blue agreed.
"So our lives are officially ruined?" Brittany fumed. "Is that what you're saying?"
"Of course not." Jeanette smiled at her sister. "We can adapt. It'll be difficult, but we'll manage, I'm sure of it."
"How are we supposed to adapt to knowing that we're ageless cartoon characters!?" Brittany huffed angrily, stomping off toward the treehouse.
"The same way we adapt to any other unforeseen circumstances." Jeanette followed her sister.
Eleanor looked up at the clouds. "Do you think we're immortal?" She asked.
I felt an ache deep in my bones as I remembered the rollercoaster accident that left me in casts all over. "No. We can still get hurt. I'm living proof of that."
"You mean you're ALMOST living proof of that." She teased me.
I flicked her forehead playfully.
Theodore scratched his head as he continued to try and figure out why all of us were so disappointed with not being able to age. "Do you think we're a cartoon for kids?" He asked. "And that's why we can't age?"
By golly! He was onto something! "Hey, that would explain why we can't actually swear either!" I quipped.
"That's very possible." Simon agreed. "But, please, no more existential crisis talk today, guys."
"You got it, bro!" I winked at him.
"Cool. Well, Theo and I are gonna go make some more watermelon ice pops while we process all this stuff." Eleanor motioned for the boy in the green hoodie to follow her.
"Oh boy! Sounds yummy!" Our youngest bro ran on all fours up the treehouse steps.
Simon noticed something about Theo that I hadn't paid much attention to. "Was he wearing your shirt, Eleanor?"
Oh! Now that he said that, I did recall Theo's hoodie being partially unzipped to reveal a striped shirt. I just didn't make the connection that it was Eleanor's signature one.
The Chipette grinned. "Yep. He likes it and it fits him, so we kinda share. No biggie." She hustled up the treehouse steps before we could shoot any more questions her way.
I shot Simon a sly glance. "Those two are made for each other." I said quietly.
"Absolutely." He agreed. Then he matched my sly smile. "Kind of like you and Brittany."
"What!? No! Brittany and I will NEVER be a thing." I insisted. "I don't like her that way."
"Are you sure? Because things would be a lot easier if you did." He chewed his lip.
I walked toward the front door of our house. "I am SURE." I felt a strange fluttery sensation in my stomach. I pushed it down and kept walking. "I'm absolutely positive."
"You say that now, but I can almost guarantee you're going to take her to homecoming in a few weeks." He teased. Gosh, why was Simon poking at my purposely repressed feelings for the girl who made my life heck? Assuming I had feelings to repress, because I wasn't entirely sure.
The more people said that Britt and I should be a couple and the more people insisted I had romantic feelings for her, the more I thought…maybe they're right? No! No! They can't be right! I know myself better than anyone else. The roses and heart necklace didn't mean a ding dang thing!
"Shut up, Simon." I warned him.
He sensed he'd gone too far. "Okay okay."
"Phew. Because I really don't want to tease you about your secret crush on Jeanette, but I'll do it if ya push hard enough." The thought of Simon crushing on Jeanette hurt me deeply, but I didn't yet know why.
"I don't have a crush on her." He put his hands on his hips.
"And I believe you." I replied. "Ish." I added just to annoy him.
He rolled his eyes and then moved on to a new subject as we entered the house. "By the way, I'm proud of you for choosing to handle things with care instead of being reckless." He said quietly. "I know it wasn't the decision you WANTED to make."
I sighed. "I really wish I could at least tell Dave. Maybe then he wouldn't care so much about my dumb grades."
"I know. I know." He looked at me sympathetically. "It truly is the pits."
"Like Jeanette said…" I forced a smile. "We just gotta make the best of it."
I wasn't gonna let this cause me to add an existential crisis to the ongoing identity crisis, which, again, was MOSTLY solved. I just needed to clear up some of the loose ends and not cause myself to spiral out again. Everything would be fine!
Some more days, maybe even a week went by and I continued to try and balance my fun side with my nerdy side. It was still tricky, but I felt like I was getting better. I was less distracted and nervous while playing sports. I was working hard to maintain my grades at school. I was helping out around the house, just like Dave wanted! Plus, I was still playing videogames and taking lessons with Jeanette.
And, well, obviously you know this is coming, I also spent a lot of time adamantly attempting to make my very first invention come to life. I was going to make that skateboard fly even if it took 10 years or more! Gosh, I sure hoped it wouldn't take that long!
One day, I was in Simon's closet lab with Jeanette, working tirelessly, once again. The flying skateboard was shaping up at last. I had figured out the correct shape for the wings and I had adjusted the level of thrust from the rocket boosters.
Soon, very soon, it would be ready for yet another test. At this point, I was at test number 43. Yep. I'd made 42 tries. 42 heartbreaking failures. Would my invention EVER work? I was having serious doubts, but doubts were the enemy. I shoved them down and continued my work.
Jeanette was in the lab with me, helping me whenever I could use her assistance. She was a bit distracted at the moment though. I caught her looking around the room, pondering over something.
"You alright?" I asked, setting down the screwdriver I had previously been gripping tightly within my hand.
"Uh huh, yeah. I think so." She sighed. "I'm just….thinking."
I needed more information. "About?"
"I don't wish to drag your spirits down discussing it." Her midnight eyes seemed to sparkle less. "It's pretty sad."
I could tell she really needed me to allow her a safe space to work through whatever she was feeling. I pushed a chair closer to Simon's lab table so I could listen better. In order to truly engage my mind on what she was saying, I started to play around with Simon's rubix cube. Still couldn't solve the thing.
"I'm all ears, Netta." I insisted.
She hunched her shoulders and looked at the ground. "Really, Alvin, it's nothing serious."
"Is it about…all that stuff I said?" I asked.
The Chipette, in the lilac sweater with a large butterfly embroidered on it, blinked her eyes a few times. "It's nothing bad, I guess. But it is something you said."
"Just let me know how badly I screwed up and I promise I'll fix it!" I vowed, resting a comforting hand on the chair she was sitting in.
My best friend got very flustered. "You didn't screw up. At least, I don't think you did." She let out a shaky breath. Something was definitely bothering her. "I'm worried about something is all."
"What are you worried about?" I sure hoped me asking wouldn't shut the poor girl down more.
"The future." She murmured softly. "I feel like we won't HAVE a future. I've always wanted to be an author when I get older or a marine biologist or a historian…" Her voice trailed off. "But I can't get any older, so all those big dreams feel like they're forever out of reach."
"Ah, yeah." Why did I tell anyone besides me and Simon!? That was a horrible mistake! I've once again ruined their lives! I had to make this right again, no matter what! "But who says a kid can't be all that stuff?"
"Well, I'm pretty sure you need a college degree for being a historian or marine biologist." She fidgeted with the butterfly pendant around her neck.
I looked at her feet, at the two mismatched socks that she wore. Both purple, but one had blue stripes and the other had reddish pink polka dots. "But not an author." I mentioned.
She frowned. "Nobody is going to publish a book written by a child. People underestimate the abilities of children every single day."
I slid out of the chair and continued to twirl the rubix cube around in my hands. "Then, uh, don't publish it. Just write it and post it online! You're a great writer! I bet it'll become popular! Then someone will reach out to ya and ask you to write something that could actually get published!"
That seemed to make her feel better. Ohoho! Boo ya! I was so good at this! "You really think so?"
"Absolutely! I wish I could write stories half as well as you!" I looked down at the puzzling cube in my hands. "I also wish I could solve this rubik's thingamajiggy."
She got up from the chair. "May I see it?" She held out her hand and I gave her the cube.
"It is a lot harder than it looks. Simon's the only one I have ever seen solve…." I began.
Her hands were like a blur, twisting and maneuvering it. She stuck her tongue out to the side as she concentrated.
"Wow. You are really going to town on that thing." I squeaked.
In about 2 minutes flat, she'd gotten the cube entirely solved. Each side only had one color. She set the cube back in my hands.
I grinned. "I didn't think you could get more impressive, but ya just did!"
She looked confused. "It's actually very easy. You have to use the algorithm."
My eyes widened. So there was a secret to it! Of course! "Teach me!"
"Maybe someday." She set the rubix cube back on Simon's desk. "You should get back to your skateboard. I didn't mean to distract you."
"Oh right, yeah." I had momentarily forgotten my mission. "Let's see…" I began talking to myself out loud. "Time to test the wing function."
I pushed down on the button atop the skateboard and watched as the wings slid out from their confined space within the board SLOWLY.
Jeanette clapped her hands. "It works!"
"It's a bit too slow." I grumbled. I knew exactly what speed I needed the wings to activate at. This was progress, but it still wasn't what I expected.
"I'm sure a few more tries and it'll be working smoothly." Jeanette reassured me with a smile that made my stomach feel sorta queasy.
"You have a beautiful smile." I blurted out awkwardly. I had no idea why.
She smiled wider. "So do you."
Was I smiling at that moment? I guess I must have been. "Of course I do." I bragged. "I'm mimicking yours." It was true. I don't know why it happened, but I had started to adopt her genuine and weird little half smile.
That made her giggle. She had the sweetest laugh.
Where was I? Oh right, the skateboard!
I tweaked a few more things and then tested the wings again.
"Hey, Alvin!" A low-ish feminine chipmunk voice called out. Eleanor Miller had arrived on the scene. I was getting better at noticing her.
"Oh, perfect, Ells." I said. "You're just in time to witness something extraordinary!" I pressed the button on the skateboard again. "Please don't explode. Please don't explode. Please don't explode." I begged the device, not that it could understand me.
The pigtailed girl in the mint hoodie laughed. "You making anything that doesn't explode in a fiery inferno would be pretty extraordinary." She commented.
"You can do it, Alvin!" Jeanette cheered. "We both believe in you!"
"We do?" Eleanor asked.
Jeanette nodded quickly.
"Uh, yeah! We do!" Her sister got the message. I needed encouragement.
I watched my invention carefully, scanning for any signs of smoke. The wings slid out at a perfect speed! Not too fast, not too slow! I still had more tweaks to make, but things were going well! I couldn't believe it!
"Ohoho! I did it! It's working perfectly!" I said in amazement.
The two girls each gave me a high five.
I wondered how Eleanor was taking the whole floating timeline revelation. Was it still bothering her? Would it be appropriate to ask if it was still bothering her?
"Hey, Ells, can I ask you something?" I decided to go for it.
She leaned against Simon's desk. "Sure thing."
"How are you doing with, you know, this whole…cartoon universe thing?" I felt my throat tighten and my voice crack. Dang it! The stress was getting bad again!
Jeanette looked sympathetically at her sister. "And please be honest. You always try to pretend you're okay when you aren't and that's not giving anyone a chance to help you."
She shrugged. "You want honesty? Fine. I'm trying not to think about it. At all. Just keep doin' what I was doin' before. How about you?"
"I think I might become a writer after all. Post my stories online. Although, it really stinks that I'll miss out on college. I've always looked forward to that." Jeanette told her sister what she'd told me earlier.
Eleanor looked at me, expecting an answer. "Nothing changes for me except this." I held up a book I had bought. The title of it said Cartoon Physics. "I figure if I'm gonna get this invention to work, I gotta know which rules our universe operates on. So far, I have discovered it appears to be a mixture of realistic physics AND cartoon physics." I groaned. "So that's been fun." Obviously, I meant fun sarcastically. Our world didn't make much sense. Which, is probably why most of my inventions exploded. It's all the fault of this cursed little dimension I call home.
"What's this?" Eleanor picked up a notebook that I left lying out on one of Simon's lab tables.
Oh shoot! I was internally panicking now. What would she think of the contents of that notebook!? That stuff was meant to stay between me and Jeanette!
"It's nothing!" I shouted. "Just some DND stuff to share with Cheesy!"
Eleanor raised an eyebrow. "You play Dungeons and Dragons now?"
I rolled my eyes. "Ells, come on. I played that LONG before I became a nerd."
Jeanette tried to take the notebook away from her sister, but she was too gentle about it and Eleanor overpowered her.
"Nerdy Alvin Vs Classic Alvin? Huh?" Eleanor read through the notebook. "Classic Alvin has a 2 for intelligence and Nerdy Alvin has a 7." She chuckled. "That's accurate."
"Please don't read that." Jeanette begged. "It's private."
The pigtailed Chipette ran out of the lab holding the notebook, forcing us to chase her.
"Eleanor!" I jumped on her and wrestled the notebook out of her hands.
"Come on, you guys." The little Chipette begged. "I just want to be included."
I felt for her. I knew what feeling left out was like. "Okay, okay." I admitted. "We'll explain everything."
I sat on my bed with a Chipette on each side of me.
"So this isn't some character sheet?" The girl in the mint hoodie with watermelon designs asked.
"Well, it is." I admitted. "But it's.. MY character sheet."
She tilted her head at me. "Dude, are you serious?"
I pointed at the stats in the two columns and the descriptions of both me and my old self. "It helps me keep track of what works and doesn't work for me."
"He's curating himself." Jeanette explained on my behalf.
I felt very vulnerable and exposed. "I mean...in a way, I guess."
Eleanor's green eyes glistened. "And it's helping?" She asked in what sounded like disbelief.
I nodded, jumping over to Simon's bed so I could face the girls. "At the very least, it's letting me find and restrain what I think are my worst traits." I showed them both a page that I hadn't even shown Jeanette before where the words Manipulative and Selfish were crossed out using red pen.
"If it's working for you, I think that's all that matters. It's admirable that you're trying to be the best version of yourself." The girl in the butterfly sweater remarked sweetly.
Eleanor fist bumped me. "Yeah. Just don't get rid of the fun stuff and I'm on board." She agreed.
Wow! She actually hadn't freaked out and assumed I was trying to change too much. Thank goodness! Now I might have two people fully on my side who understand me!
I smiled. I had to tell them. "Y'know, sometimes you guys are better than my actual brothers. I mean no offense to them when I say that, of course, but-"
Eleanor put a chubby finger to my lips. "Stop. We get it."
"Sorry." I felt my ears droop. "Guess I'm still too chatty. I shall add "reduce chattiness" to the list!" I said eloquently, starting to write it inside the notebook.
Eleanor grabbed the pen out of my hand. "No way!"
"Please no!" Jeanette clasped her hands together.
"We like your enthusiasm, dude." The fierce blonde girl quipped.
I was surprised. "Oh….oh wow. You do?"
Eleanor elbowed me playfully. "At least it's not all physics all the time anymore."
"You've made a lot of progress, and we're very proud of you." Jeanette put her hand on top of mine.
I grinned. They actually liked my rambles! Even Eleanor did! I kinda figured Jeanette did, but to know someone besides Jeanette did was EYE OPENING!
"Yeah, and I'm proud of me too. Ya know what, I think I'll keep most of the impulses around. After all, they do make life pretty exciting." I told them.
"Heck yeah!" Eleanor jumped up and down on my bed. "Now you're gettin' it!"
It felt great having both Britt's sisters on my side. Now, if only Brittany could join them. She was still busy being a thorn in my side about homecoming, unfortunately. I decided that in order to get out of taking her to homecoming, I had to ask another girl.
And ask I did, the next few days were full of attempts! I asked around and around and I couldn't find a single taker! How was that possible!? I couldn't be THAT unpopular? Could I?
Oh well, I still had plenty of time before the homecoming game. I would find someone. I didn't even want to go to that crummy dance anyway. That's a lie. Classic did, which meant half of me did. Siiiigh. Why is this my life?
One day, in the hall, as I was getting ready to head off to my last class of the day, Simon walked up to me and annoyed me with the same ol question that EVERYONE was asking.
"Find anyone to attend homecoming with yet?" He had a sorta smug look on his stupid face.
I wanted to lie, I wanted to tell him anything but the truth, but my conscience was too strong! "They all rejected me." I sobbed. "I don't understand."
The smug grin faded and my brother looked sympathetic. "Who'd you ask?"
I began to rattle off all the ladies I'd attempted to woo. "Anita, Pamela G, Millie, Amy, Gertrude, Kathy, Rhonda, Stephanie….and Adeline." It sure did feel good to have romantic attraction to girls again. I'd missed it! Of course, it would feel better if any of them were actually into me.
"Ah, steering clear of the usual girls you pester. Wise." Simon commented.
I hadn't even noticed that. "Huh? No, these are the ones I have crushes on now." I replied.
"Really?" He raised an eyebrow. "Fascinating."
Suddenly, I knew exactly why he found it fascinating. Everyone I had asked had one thing in common. "Oh my gosh….they're all nerdy girls! I mean, Anita is popular but she's still nerdy."
My brother nodded. "If I didn't know any better, I'd say…"
I didn't let him finish, because I gasped as I realized I knew exactly what he was thinking. "MY TASTES HAVE SHIFTED TO MORE INTELLECTUAL WOMEN!" I exclaimed.
He chuckled. "Yeah. That."
Gosh, I hated thinking so much like him! "This isn't funny! It's terrifying!" I rubbed the sleeves of my cyan jacket.
"Given how the popular preps treated you, I'm not surprised." Simon mused.
"Can things about me stop changing and give me a chance to settle!?" I begged. "PLEASE!?"
The chipmunk in the cobalt blue colored shirt shook his head. "I'm afraid you don't have as much control as you wish to."
"That's glaringly apparent…." I retorted, before realizing I just spoke Simonese without intending to. "Did I just SAY that?" My eyes widened. This was too much for me!
Simon looked as worried as me. "You did." He responded.
"Why? Why did I say that?" I gestured wildly with my hands, getting more and more uncomfortable with the situation.
My brother touched my shoulder lightly. "I would assume it's because your need to show off has been fused with a need to appear intellectual." He said. "In other words, your "Simon genes" are currently winning."
"Nohoho!" I covered my ears. "Can we change the topic!? PLEASE!?"
He nodded and then said something else I really didn't want to hear. "So are you going to take Brittany to homecoming?"
I scowled. "Not if I can help it."
We had almost reached the point in the hall where we would split off. Simon would go to his computer science class and I would go to art.
"She's going to pester you until you give in. You know that, right?" Simon quipped, before turning the corner.
I shouted to make sure he heard me, though he was getting further and further away. "Well, luckily, I have a million wild and wonderful ways to say no."
And boy did I have to use them, because in the next days, Brittany's pestering was taken to a new level. She wouldn't leave me alone. Everywhere I turned, there she was!
In class one day, she sent me a card with a "check yes or no" thingie inside it. I checked no and sent the card flyin' at her like a ninja throwing star.
Next, Brittany wrote "can I be your homecoming date?" in the grass in our backyard with pink spray paint. To further drive my point home, I put a glowing neon cyan sign in the window that said "NO."
I would love to say that was the end of it, but the invites continued. I entered my bedroom to find a cardboard cutout of Brittany in a fancy pink and red dress with the words "HOMECOMING?" written at the bottom of the cutout. The girl was a desperate disaster. Probably 10 times more desperate than I was. I responded to her cardboard cutout by sticking at least 500 cyan sticky notes around her bed. They all said No in various ways. "Never, Not Gonna Happen, Not If You Were The Last Girl on Earth, I would rather eat bugs, Find a different dude, ect" I even added "ghobe'", that's Klingon for No!
There was even more instances than that, but this story is already longer than I was expecting it to be, so I shall keep it condensed.
Anyway, when there was only 4 days left until Homecoming, Brittany barged into my room on a rampage. She was spitting and sputtering like a boilin' tea kettle.
"You have to take me to the dance!" She begged once more. "Please!"
"Why can't you ask a different guy?" I didn't even look away from the comic I was doodling.
She folded her arms. "Because, brainiac, I don't want to go with any other guy."
"So you wanna go with me even though we aren't romantically attracted to each other?" I twirled my colored pencil around.
"Yes. I have to give the fans what they want if I'm going to win Homecoming Queen! They want me to go with you. Red and pink. We belong together, Alvie." She batted her eyelashes.
"For the zillionth time, no siree." I stressed loudly.
"You owe me, Seville!" She snapped, walking closer. "You ruined ALL my other plans for the future. At least give me my rightful spot as Homecoming Queen." She started to sob. "Put yourself in my shoes…"
"Well, I am pretty good at walking in heels." I joked. I knew that wasn't what she meant.
"Alvin!" She grabbed me and made me stare into her ice blue eyes. "Please! Just this once! We would make a fantastic couple! Everyone would be jealous! You might even be cool again for one night!"
"Urgh." I groaned. She did look really sad, and I did spoil her dreams of growing up, maybe…maybe I could give her this? Just this once. It didn't make us an official couple. It was just a dance we were headed to as friends.
"It's one night. It will be fun, I promise you. Music, games, excitement…" She droned on and on.
Before I could take more time to mull it over, I muttered out "Fine. Okay. I'll do it."
An ear splitting squeal of happiness sliced through the air. "SQEEEEEEEEEE! Thank you, Alvie! Oh thank you!" She pulled out a sketch of me in a red and black suit. "Now, let's talk about what outfit you'll be wearing…"
I already regretted this. What had I signed up for? Also WHY does everyone always try to make me wear black with my red? The only time I like wearing black is if I'm in character as Lorenzo Lorenzo secret agent, or the Dark Shadow superhero!
I felt my eye twitch. "Can't I just wear what I want?"
"Well, uh, I guess, but nothing too geeky!" She surprisingly didn't press the issue.
Crap! Now, I needed to find a way out of that dance! An entire night chained to Britt as my date would be the exact opposite of fun. I had to be creative. Hmmm. Ohoho! Idea!
The very next day, I greeted Brittany at the main entrance of school, talking in the most nasal and low pitched voice I could. (Which still wasn't that low, since I'm a chipmunk.)
"I'm sorry, Britt." I blew my nose on a tissue to sell the effect. "My allergies are acting up again."
"I can hear that." She frowned. "You sound even more like Simon than you usually do."
I shook my head. My brother didn't sound overly nasal. "I sound like Simon if he had a really bad cold."
"Yeah. That's a good way of putting it." Britt agreed.
I blew my nose again, hoping my excessive snotting would gross her out. "You probably want someone else to take you to the dance. Don't ya?"
This was it! The moment that she would decide for herself not to take me to the dance! Then I could get out of it and she wouldn't be upset. Ohoho! I am a genius!
Yeah, that didn't really work as I expected it to. She took my tissue in her dainty fingers, disgusted by it, and tossed it into a trash can. "No, Alvin, I want to go with you." She told me. "No matter how you look or sound…or if you need to pack a million tissues."
WHY WHY WHY!?
"Really?" I asked, in disbelief.
"Yes!" She blew me a kiss and scampered away. "See you later, Alvie!"
When I got home, I faceplanted onto my bed. "That didn't work!" I complained in my normal voice again. "How am I gonna get out of this now!?"
Theodore shrugged. "I dunno." He said. "But maybe going with Brittany won't be so bad. I'm going with Eleanor. I asked her and she said "yes."
My ears twitched as another idea raced through my mind. "That's perfect! Thanks, Theo!"
I quickly ran out into the hallway to make a phone call to someone who could potentially save the dance from becoming a disaster.
"Hey. Simon. I'm taking Britt to homecoming." I revealed, not that I needed to.
"So I've heard." He answered. "Brittany's told pretty much everyone in school."
I groaned loudly. Of course she did. Oh well, what's done is done. I moved on to my inquiry. "Can you go with Jeanette so I don't have to be stuck there alone with her?"
He dodged the question. "What changed your mind anyway? Figure out you have a crush on her?"
"No!" I squeaked defensively. "She wore me down! She wouldn't stop pestering me!"
He laughed sarcastically. "Wouldn't know what that's like."
"Actually, funny thing. The main reason I'm taking her is because I put myself in her shoes and I know if I were in her position, I would be extremely sad if she didn't take me….so yeah." I rambled, feeling embarrassed.
I surprised the heck out of my brother. "Oh?"
I sighed. "Jeanette has absolutely ruined me, hasn't she?" I asked.
"Little bit." He replied softly.
"So will you go with Netta or not?" I needed his answer!
There was a long pause and then he finally said… "I guess so."
"Thanks, bro." I breathed a sigh of relief. "Knew I could count on ya."
The day of the Homecoming game arrived and our football team won. I wasn't on the football team obviously, I was more of a soccer kind of guy. I debated going for football, but it's even easier to get a concussion playing football than it is to get one playing soccer. I couldn't take the risk.
"I'm gonna play on that team someday." Eleanor told me.
I shuddered. "More power to ya."
My physics powers activated and I watched the different plays and all the angles and trajectory behind them. Maybe instead of actually playing football, I could be in charge of behind the scenes stuff like choosing what strategy to use. That's a possibility.
After the football game; we all hurried home and got dressed for the dance. Theodore was in a green suede suit with a lighter green neck tie. Simon opted to wear a sharp looking navy blue suit with a medium blue bowtie. I opted not to wear the tie and my suit was red and covered in shimmery sparkle. I had even bedazzled it with yellow and cyan rhinestones in various designs such as music notes, atoms, and of course the letter A. I added rhinestones to my glasses (temporarily) as well.
Dave was waiting by the bathroom door to take a photo of us when we walked out. "You look very nice fellas." He said. Then, he had to go and pick on me. "Alvin, are you sure you need that much sparkle?"
"Uh yeah." I retorted. "I'm with Brittany. This is her thing. We gotta match." I figured that was as good a reason as any. Although I was the one who WANTED to wear the glitter and sparkle. Britt still wanted me in a boring black suit.
Dave just rolled his eyes, but he didn't question me any more.
I elbowed Simon. "How would you like to switch bodies with me so that you can be Britt's date to homecoming?" I teased.
Simon got fed up with my antics and walked away.
I ran out to the car after him. "Is that a yes or a no?"
"Absolutely not. You made your bed. You get to lie in it." He hissed.
Drat! If only I could be with Jeanette instead of him! Or literally any other girl besides Brittany!
The Chipettes all came out to join us. Brittany was in a really glitzy fuschia sleeveless dress with ruffles (boy, she likes ruffles) and a belt with a flower on it. Jeanette was wearing a simplistic looking dress with a deep purple satin tank top thing and a long deep purple skirt that had many small brighter purple sequins that looked sorta like polka dots. The dress had a ribbon with a large bow tied around it and two silver butterflies attached to the ribbon. Now, Eleanor, she wasn't even wearing a dress. She had on a mint tank top and a slightly darker mint skirt with white polka dots. She also wore a teal colored jacket with T shirt sleeves over top. I think her look might have been my favorite.
"Everyone ready to dance the night away?" Eleanor asked, bumping me with her hip as she sat next to me.
Brittany took one look at my outfit and scowled. "What did you do? Raid a rhinestone store."
The night hadn't even started and I was already sick of her. "You said we have to match!"
"Well we STILL don't! You have more sparkle than I do!" She fastened her seatbelt angrily.
I threw my hands in the air. "There is just no pleasing you, is there!?"
The others all stared at us awkwardly. We were once again making a scene. Whenever I got around Britt, that was all we did.
Dave pulled up to the dance not long after and we all got out of the car and prepared to walk inside. Theodore grabbed Eleanor's hand, Simon and Jeanette walked next to each other having what I assume was a pleasant conversation. She even put her arm around him, which made me jealous. She was the friend I wanted to be here with.
"Uh hello!" Brittany shook my attention back to her. "Aren't you going to walk me in like a gentleman?"
I sighed again and linked arms with her. "Of course, my lady."
She seemed content with that. Inside, I was dying. I couldn't wait for this night to end.
The dance started off better than I expected. Everyone pretty much did their own thing. Nobody picked on me because they were busy having conversation with their own little cliques. And I did like dancing with Brittany. She was a very good dancer. Very light on her feet.
Eleanor danced freestyle like a lunatic while Theo raided the refreshment table. But, eventually, I caught the two of them dancing together while Eleanor wiped cookie crumbs off Theo's cheeks.
Simon and Jeanette stepped in time with the music, but they weren't as handsy as Theo and Ellie. He held her hand maybe once. Mostly Simon's hands were in his pockets while Jeanette twirled her hair when they weren't dancing together.
Britt would not get her mitts off of me. There was a lot of grabbing and pulling. It was clear that I was not at this dance for myself. I was here as an accessory. Every single time I tried to break away to talk to someone else, Britt's strong hands would be around me, pulling me into a hug or twirling me around.
When a super romantic song came on, she made us slow dance together and then she dipped me! I just went along with the motions until it seemed clear that she was taking this too far.
"Kiss me." She whispered.
I broke away from her. "What?"
"Come on." She puckered her lips. "It'll help raise our social status."
I backed away from her. "Britt, we've been over this. I don't want to raise my social status. I'm not gonna have my first kiss with someone I have no feelings for. First kisses are supposed to be SPECIAL."
"Oh my gosh." She huffed. "Why are you so difficult? We kissed before when we were trying to teach Simon how to kiss Jesse for the school play!"
I was now beyond uncomfortable. "That was an accident." I reminded her.
"Just one little kiss!" She begged.
I looked at her with an expression of disgust. "What has gotten into you? NO! N-O! I will not kiss you."
"Then you have left me no choice." She started to chase me around. "This is for your own good, Alvin!"
"Help!" I shrieked. "Get this crazy girl away from me!"
One of the chaperone teachers looked down at the cup in her hand. "Huh? Must be something in the punch."
I knew the punch wasn't to blame for Brittany's crazy behavior. I just didn't know what was!
"Leave him alone, Britt." Her sisters shouted.
Simon facepalmed while Theo watched wide eyed as he munched a lemon flavored cupcake.
It happened in the blink of an eye. Brittany caught me and spun me around to face her. I had no time to react as she grabbed the collar of my suit jacket and kissed me VERY passionately on the lips.
My whole world was spinning. I heard a bunch of "ooooohs" from the crowd. I had to admit the kiss wasn't terrible, but how DARE she kiss me like that without my consent. This wasn't just a cheek kiss either, it was full on lip to lip. She STOLE my first kiss! Oh well. We were fated to end up together anyway, weren't we?
"How do you feel?" She asked, smiling hopefully.
Defiled, used, annoyed, absolutely pizzed, also tired and remorseful. What did she think? That the kiss would be magic and make me want her? Or did she think it would bring back classic? Oh oh! That's it!
Now that I knew why she kissed me, it was time for a little very well deserved payback! She messed with the wrong munk.
I took off my glasses. "Oh my gosh! I can see without glasses again! It's a miracle!" I lied. Hey! I could lie again! I guess I just had to be angry enough to do it! "And I don't feel like a nerd anymore!"
The other students were looking at us, trying to figure out what was going on. Theodore was smiling, Eleanor looked confused. Boy, there was a role reversal for the ages. Jeanette looked like she might pass out from the shock and Simon gasped in disbelief.
"Yes!" Brittany cheered. "It worked! True love's kiss broke the spell!"
Time to break her heart. I put the glasses back on. "Oh, you'd like that, wouldn't you? To just rewrite my personality with a kiss?" I said angrily.
"Wait….what?" Her lip quivered.
I folded my arms and glared at her with a very Simon-like glare. "I was messing with you, Britt. The kiss did nothing except make you look like a fool who is obsessed with me." I laughed.
Her arms dropped to her sides and she sniffled. "But that kind of thing always works in cartoons!" She wailed.
I stormed away from her and located Jeanette. "Can I hang with you the rest of the night?"
Jeanette ignored me and ran over to comfort her despondent sister. "Britt, you can't just do something like that. It isn't right. But don't worry, we'll just forget this happened and Alvin forgives you, right, Alvin?"
"Uhhh…" ARE YOU KIDDING ME!? No!
But with Jeanette's soft midnight eyes and adorable puppy face, how could I not? Besides, Britt, in her own twisted way thought that would break me out of this self improvement stuff. She only thought that because I told her we live in a cartoon.
"Yeah." I murmured. "I forgive you. Just NEVER do it again."
"I promise." Brittany sounded like she forced herself to say that. Maybe it was just my imagination.
"You better get up on stage, Brittany." Theodore told her. "They'll be announcing homecoming queen soon."
"This whole night feels like a fever dream." Eleanor remarked to Simon.
Simon took a sip of his punch. "Yep."
Brittany ascended onto the stage set up in the cafeteria. She sat with all the beautiful human girls all wearing their sashes that said Homecoming Princess on them.
Anita stepped up onto the stage and grabbed the microphone. "Wow, it has been a crazy night, hasn't it? I think we've kept you waiting long enough. It's time to announce this year's Homecoming Queen."
The whole cafeteria erupted with noise and applause.
"And the winner is…." Anita opened the envelope handed to her by the principal. "Brittany Miller!"
Brittany looked a LOT less sad. Suddenly, her failure of a kiss with me didn't matter at all. She skipped over happily to receive the crown Anita put upon her head and exchange her sash for one that said Homecoming Queen.
Then she took the mic. "Thank you, thank you! This is a very high honor! I have dreamt of this moment for decades!"
"You haven't even been alive for decades!" Kevin called out to correct her.
"Kevin, darling, hush." Brittany sassed. "You're lucky I'm not the type of queen who can throw her subjects in the dungeon." She continued her speech. "To all of you who voted for me, I would like to say…I love you so much! You have made this the best night of my whole life. SQUEEEEEE!"
Anita took the microphone back before anyone's eardrums bursted from Britt's excitement. She handed it off to Logan as he got ready to announce the Homecoming King. Ooh boy. Was there even a chance I could be Homecoming King? I mean, nobody at the dance picked on me. I had gummy bears from the refreshment table stuck in my braces too…and nobody even mentioned it! Maybe the social tides were changin'!
"And our Homecoming King is…" Logan opened the envelope. I willed it to be me. It wasn't me. "Gregory Styles!"
The basketball team captain went up to accept his crown and sash and stood next to Brittany. He gave a speech too, a much shorter one. "Thank you. It's just Greg by the way. Just Greg."
"Are you okay, Alvin?" Theodore's paw was on my back.
I frowned. "Yeah. I guess. I really wanted to be king, but It was a long shot anyway. I'm not surprised."
Then, Bocarter took the stage. "We have a new category this year, one that nominees were selected for confidentially." He said with a devious smirk. "Homecoming Jester."
Oh no. Anyone could see where this was headed. I braced myself for the words that I knew he'd say.
"And the winner is…" He opened the envelope and almost keeled over laughing. "Ahaha hahaha! Alvin Seville."
"Homecoming jester?" Simon wondered aloud. "Is that even a thing?"
"It is not a thing." Eleanor grimaced.
I felt tears start to prickle at my eyes. "They invented the category specifically so that they could screw with me."
"Well, not you specifically. I think it was all the kids they considered unfit for king or queen." Jeanette told me. "Still absolutely uncalled for."
I shook my head. "I know it was made specifically to target me!"
"Come get your hat, Alvin!" Bocarter taunted me.
"Make me!" I growled.
Two kids I didn't know grabbed me and dragged me onto the stage.
"This is humiliating." I announced. "And I object!" Homecoming Jester? It really hammered in just how hard I'd fallen. How far away from Britt I'd fallen. She was a queen and I was a joke.
"This is what you chose though." Brittany whispered to me. "You wanted this."
"I didn't want this! I didn't want any of this!" I shouted as the Jester hat was put on my head overtop of my cap. I tore it off and threw it on the ground.
"That's a low blow, Bo. Did I tell you you could make a third category!?" Anita started giving that blonde rich kid a stern lecture.
That gave me time to escape. I didn't know where I was going, but I knew I wanted to be as far away from the dance as possible. I ran as fast as my tiny legs could carry me. I ran into the courtyard and just kept going.
It was dark out, owls were hooting and crickets were chirping. I thought I heard someone following me, so I picked up the pace. I ran onto the sidewalk and started to head in the direction that I thought would take me home. All I wanted was to be at home again, far away from the teasing.
"Hey, Alvin." Eleanor's voice shouted at me. "Your house is that way!" I looked behind me to see she pointed in the opposite direction I was running. Jeanette and Theodore were behind her in the distance. They'd come to comfort me. But where was Simon? Didn't he care about comforting me?
"Thanks, Eleanor." I said softly.
Jeanette stood with her hands behind her back. "Are you alright?" She asked.
"No." I answered. Boy, that word sure was gettin' a workout.
"This was really mean, but you can bounce back from it." Theo encouraged me.
I sat down by a tree. "My friendship with Britt is doomed." I said. "We don't belong together anymore. I don't want to lose her, but she keeps doing stuff that hurts me."
"What Britt did was stupid and uncalled for, yeah. And she will pay for it. I will make her pay for it." Eleanor slammed her fist into her hand.
"Don't hurt her, Ellie." Theodore whimpered.
"I'm not gonna." The mint clad girl put a hand on her hip. "But she's getting extra chores for a week, maybe even two. And I'm confiscating her lipstick."
"Think that'll make her accept me?" I tried to maintain hope, but it seemed futile.
"No idea, but maybe." Jeanette answered honestly.
"Where's Simon?" I rubbed my knees as I sat in the grass and Eleanor shined her flashlight on me.
Theodore sat down next to me. "Last I saw, he was yelling at Brittany about dragging you to the dance in your unstable condition."
Oh that explained it. So Simon did still care about me! Phew. "Good for Si. Maybe he can talk sense into her, because I sure can't." Then, another thought occurred to me. "Also, I know it might not seem like it, but I feel A LOT less unstable now."
"Good for you." Jeanette leaned her head on my shoulders as she knelt down in the grass, which was tricky to do in a long dress.
"But I still don't feel quite like me." I admitted, tapping my fingers in the grass. "I'm barely even an Alvin anymore. Face it." My voice quivered. "I'm broken, defective. My ego died and came back wrong."
"Would you stop talking like that? You can be whoever and whatever you want to be!" Eleanor insisted. "Although, heh heh, the whole ego dying and coming back wrong thing…is a pretty accurate way to describe it." She added.
I touched my head gingerly. "I've got the ego of an intellectual now."
"More like a zombie ego." The pigtailed Chipette quipped, to lighten my mood.
"Zombie ego! That's perfect!" Her attempt worked! "You know, Ells, you come up with the best jokes." I replied.
She gave me a finger gun salute. "Recognized!"
"Let's get you home." Theodore helped me to my feet again.
"Yes, yes. You've had a long and stressful day." Jeanette held my hand as we walked home with Theo and Eleanor trailing behind us. "Remember that only you get to decide who you are. You don't have to be a jester if you don't want to be. Although, you CAN still be a comedian."
"Thanks, Netta." I forced a smile. "I'll try to remember it."
"I bet you could use a lot of ice cream tonight." Theo told me sweetly. He was absolutely right and the Superman flavored ice cream was delicious.
The next day was a weekend and I was thankful for the break from school. It gave me time to practice accepting my status and the fact that maybe, just maybe, I had forever tanked any chance to be popular.
Simon even came to comfort me, in his own way. "I know you're still upset about homecoming, so I got you a little something to cheer you up." He told me, before handing me a book.
I read the cover. "Math Problems for Rainy Day Weekends." I smiled. "Oh thanks, bro! You know me so well!" I hugged the book to my chest. I was so ready to focus on math instead of everything that happened yesterday.
I heard my brother in blue mutter under his breath. "It's easy when you're copying literally everything I enjoy."
"What was that?" I asked, pretending I hadn't heard.
Simon looked flustered. "Uh, Nothing. Anyway, I have an experiment to work on."
"Cool. I'll leave you to it. Unless you want my help." I offered.
"Just read the math book and if I need you, I'll let you know." He walked away.
I let the math book entertain me for a while, but eventually I got bored and walked into Simon's closet lab. I was determined to show him I could help with an experiment without screwing it up.
"What are you doing here? I said I don't need help." My brother was building some sort of mechanical device that appeared to be powered by a potato. Neat-o!
"Is this your version of a potato clock?" I asked, turning my head all the way to the side to analyze what his invention was and what it could do.
He sighed. "If you must know, it's a potato powered lie detector."
"Nice!" I sat down at the lab table. "So does it work?"
"Unfortunately, not very well. The potato doesn't seem to be giving it enough power to do much besides flicker." He frowned.
"I have an idea!" I exclaimed.
He decided to humor me, even though I could tell he didn't particularly relish the thought. "What's your idea?"
I took a deep breath and stood up, pointing to myself. "If all living things conduct electricity, Why don't you plug me in? I can be your potato!" I told him excitedly.
He looked unamused. "This sorta thing right here is why people have trouble believing you're actually a genius."
"But is it a bad idea or just one that sounds kinda dumb that could actually work?" I questioned.
He didn't answer. I could tell his nerves were being pushed to the limit. "Please leave me alone. Go work on your flying skateboard or something. Please."
"But I can help you with this lie detector thing if ya give me a chance! I'm new and improved, Si! Everyone can see it! I'm enhanced! Uplifted!"
"STOP IT!" He shoved me out of the lab. "Stop acting like you're some kind of Alvin 2.0 or something. Let me have some space." Before I could protest, he closed the lab door and I was left staring at our average looking closet. Ya couldn't even tell there was a lab behind it. I wonder if that's also connected to our cartoon's physics.
Since Simon was busy in the lab upstairs, I trekked into the basement to work on my flying skateboard invention. Simon's words repeated themselves in my mind. "Stop acting like you're some kind of Alvin 2.0 or something."
"Alvin 2.0." I said to myself, testing the name out on my tongue. "I kinda like that." It just felt…right.
I started to sing while dancing around the basement. Still testing my new moniker out.
"Let everything go
Let everything go
Now I'm Two point oh
Now I'm Two point oh!"
I smirked. "I REALLY like that." I stated happily.
I jumped onto one of the lab tables and started to dance around while singing.
"It's the magic, it's chemistry. It's math and it's the physics of you and me. Whoah! Know your energy!"
I had a name! At last! I didn't have to call myself Genius-Alvin anymore! I didn't have to call him…err me Albert. And advanced, improved, upgraded…those weren't as snappy as 2.0.
Ohoho! If ya think about it, I really was toyed with and reformatted like computer software, I'd been reprogrammed! Taken apart and built into a nicer, smarter, newer model! I WAS in fact Alvin 2.0!
There ya have it, folks. That's how I got my name. Once I figured out what to call myself, things suddenly felt a lot easier than before. I felt like I could take on the world. I would have to, because this crazy cartoon world was not done throwing obstacles at me. The most important part was that I knew whatever happened, I WOULD be okay.
And we have reached the end of Part 1! Now you know how Alvin 2.0 got his name. In part 2, you'll see how everyone reacts to his new name choice.
I packed a TON in this chapter. I still have a ton more to cover in the next. This was a rather difficult chapter to write because of all the time skipping around and because I knew it had to end with Alvin getting inspired to tack "2.0" onto the end of his name to fully cement himself as "Alvin, but also not quite Alvin." I hope it all makes sense!
In the next chapter, Alvin faces a concert while masquerading as his classic self, and a lot more happens, but I'll let that be a secret!
Special thanks to my good pal Torchu212 for helping write the dialogue for the short scene where Eleanor finds Alvin's DND character sheet for re-creating himself as the best of both his halves. It fit perfectly into this chapter and I loved the idea immensely.
Anyway, I'm gonna be back with another installment hopefully very soon. Sorry again for the long wait on an update and Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays!
Please review! I gotta know what you think about this twisty and meta story!
