Erin smiled as she looked at Catherine, who had just fallen asleep in David's arms only a few minutes ago, as if she had known that she couldn't sleep without being in her Papa's arms. "That didn't take you too long," she said quietly as she smiled at David.
"She's a Daddy's girl, through and through," he replied, staring down into her face. "And I'm glad that I was able to have this moment after that case in Kansas. I just feel sorry for Jen."
"Why?" she asked sharply, frowning at him. "Did something happen that I should know about?"
"Henry was sick, I guess, and Will kept calling. I felt badly for her, because she was separated from him for so long because of the weather grounding her first flight home, and then the jet being unable to leave because of everything. This was the first time that he's been seriously ill, and she missed being there to comfort him when he was in the hospital."
Erin felt her eyes fill with tears as she looked down at Catherine. "I know so little about how that must feel. There was one time when Karen was desperately ill, and I had to be at some stupidly important meeting. I still don't remember what we were talking about in that meeting, but I remember the ache of having Alan's mother sitting with her in her room."
A few of her tears began to drop down her cheeks as the doorbell rang. Frowning at her fiancé, they both got to their feet, and David leaned in to kiss her cheek softly. "I'll run Catherine up to her room if you want to go see who that is," he said quietly, and she nodded before stroking their daughter's hair and watching them disappear upstairs. She was a bit perturbed about receiving a visitor that late at night, but since they had knocked, she wasn't as concerned as she might have been. Taking the few steps from the stairs to the front door, Erin turned on the porch light to see who was at their door, a soft gasp rising to her lips as she recognized the woman there.
"Come in, Jennifer," she said quietly as she opened the door, taking her jacket from her to hang on the hook as she stepped out of her flats. "I take it that you're here to see David?"
"Actually, no. I, I came to talk with you?"
The soft hesitancy in the younger woman's voice caught her off guard, and Erin nodded as she motioned for JJ to follow her. Without looking back, Erin brought JJ into the living room, trusting David to know enough not to interrupt them, since it appeared that JJ only wanted to talk with her that evening. "I must admit, this is a shock, but I am more than happy to speak with you. What brought this on?"
"Henry getting sick. Seeing the way you are with your younger daughters and Jack. Everything just seemed to converge during this last case, and I knew that you would be the only other one who would understand. Emily and Garcia don't have children, and it's different with Hotch. I mean, yes, he knows the anxiety of being on the road if something bad happens to Jack, but he wasn't the one to shelter him for ten months in his body. We did, though."
"I was not afforded that luxury with Elise or Catherine, unfortunately. They were both early, due to the stress and trauma that I experienced, respectively."
JJ looked up at her, giving her a small nod as she hugged herself lightly. "I forget that you were shot by Foyet, because the thought of losing Haley is a little larger in my mind. We, we were all angry at being kept out of the loop about the truth of Elise's parentage, and so it has become easy to overlook what was done to you. I'm sorry?"
"I forgive you. But I suppose that now I should ask the question again, this time a different way. Why did you come here this evening?"
JJ gave her a tremulous smile before taking a deep breath. "I came because I wanted some advice, mother to mother. You seem to have it all together, you never seem to crack under pressure, and your children love you. I can see that in all the pictures that Dave shows off of you all. How do you manage to do it? It's almost superhuman, that ability to look like the perfect mother."
She let out a soft chuckle as she shook her head. "I guess that I've been able to put on a better façade than I realized, Jennifer. I am far from the perfect mother or partner, especially since Catherine was born. I feel like I miss out on so much of their lives, even though Jess is so good at taking pictures and videos for me and David. I just wish that I could spend more time with them all."
"But you're there every Saturday for their horse lessons."
"Because I've carved out that time, since it's important to us to bond as a family. I still work far too late in the evenings some days, and there are times when I feel like time is slipping through my fingers like grains of sand. If you want to know a good secret to making it work, to having a balance between job, partner, and child, you have to prioritize your life. It is probably the hardest thing that you will ever do, especially when situations like this arise."
"You know about Henry, then?"
She nodded and reached out to touch JJ's upper arm, giving her a sad smile. "There is a sort of terror that arises in your heart when your child is hurt and there's nothing that you can do for them. I've only ever experienced that once, and that was more than enough. With Elise and Catherine, I've been lucky in that I was with them when they were in the NICU. They're my little lovebugs, and I would do anything to protect them, just like you would do anything to protect Henry. That was why I was glad that you were offered that position with the State Department, because that meant you were able to spend more time with your family."
"I wish that I had seen it as the blessing it was at the time. I was just so angry over being ripped from my work family that I couldn't find the good in the situation." Another small smile told Erin that JJ had done some reflecting in the time since she had returned to the BAU, and that made her heart a little happier to know. "Just, please, tell me that the guilt gets easier to live with?"
"It does, but only because you are a good mother, and you have a good partner standing by your side, helping you raise Henry. And am I right in thinking that you have a nanny, too?"
JJ nodded as she raised her eyebrows quickly. "How did you know that?"
"Because if I remember rightly, Will is also an officer. Which means that there are times when you don't have appropriate childcare. David and I couldn't do this without Jessica, and we are doubly blessed that a relative, even by proxy, is watching our girls alongside Jack. It's been hard building a family, but it's the most worthwhile thing that I've ever accomplished in my life. So, I guess the secret is hard work, which you seem more than willing to put in. If you weren't concerned, if you didn't care, you wouldn't be here tonight, so soon after Henry's scare. Have faith in yourself, you are much stronger than you think that you are, and I know that you are capable of great things. You wouldn't have made it this far in your career, and kept a successful family life, if you weren't."
JJ nodded before dropping her arms to her side in an open gesture. "Thank you?" Erin nodded. "I know that I should probably go home now, since I have a firmer grasp on what I was seeking, but I don't want to head back there while I still feel a little weepish?"
"Would you like to see my babies before you head out?" JJ nodded, and Erin gave her a wide smile as she rose to her feet, beckoning JJ to follow her as she made her way upstairs, eager to show off her pride and joys to the young woman who needed to know that it was possible to make this all work, and that she just needed to do the hard part on her end.
