"Thank you for taking all the kids out to lunch with Aaron," Erin said as she leaned in and kissed David's cheek. "I really need this time to talk with Jess."
"We're taking them all to Pizza Express. You might not be thanking us when you get home," he chuckled, and she rolled her eyes a little as she stepped back. "You know how much they love that place."
"I do, and they usually come home on a sugar high, and then the crash that happens shortly after that…"
"Don't worry, I'll make certain that they're good for when you get home. Enjoy your time with Jessica." He leaned in to kiss her once more, and Erin smiled against his lips as the kiss deepened slightly. Erin wanted to give herself over to the pleasure of his lips, but knew that they were in public, and that she had to head off with Jessica. Delicately sighing against his lips, Erin pushed him away and looked up into his eyes. "I love you, and everything is going to be all right."
"I know, I just need to talk to my best friend about how I'm feeling." He nodded before patting her ass. "We're in public, David. Save that for the bedroom."
"Yes, stellina," he sang out, and she shook her head as she jogged over to Jessica's car.
"You two are so adorable!" her friend squealed as they climbed into the car, and Erin giggled.
"And you can't tell him that, otherwise his head would grow even bigger than it already is at times." She settled back in her seat as she let out a long breath. "And thank you for agreeing to give up your afternoon to have lunch with me. I just can't stop my mind from spinning, especially as Alex's return gets even closer."
"She starts Monday, doesn't she?"
Erin nodded, clearing her throat a little as she tried to organize her thoughts into some semblance of order. "She does, and I am not prepared. I thought that it would be easier, the closer the date came, but it is not. Ron said that I needed to leave her alone and to let things happen naturally, but I don't know if I can do that?"
"You're going to have to find a way to do just that, because he's right."
Erin felt like she was going to sulk at hearing that from Jessica, and she let out a frustrated huff of breath as she turned her head to look out the window, allowing a jagged silence to fill the car as Jessica continued to drive. Soon enough, they were pulling into the parking lot of her favourite restaurant, and she knew that her little tantrum was so petty. "All right, we're going to head inside, order our usual dishes, and then start to really talk. Because you are so wound up over this that you're reacting poorly, and I know that you'll feel bad for reacting like this."
She nodded as she climbed out of the car and came over to Jessica's side, trying to find the right words to ask for a hug before they went inside, but nothing was coming to her lips. Still, it was as if Jessica understood her unspoken heart, as she pulled her into a warm embrace, rubbing her hand up and down her back a few times before letting go and starting for the doors. "I really can get worked up. I just, I want everything to be perfect."
Jessica nodded as the host guided them to an empty table. "I completely understand that, Erin. But bad things happen when you find this overwhelming urge to be perfect. I know that we've talked about this more in depth, but you don't want to create issues where there shouldn't be any. Yes, Alex is returning, but you have to be all right with her not talking to you at first. Because if you rush things, if you trip over your feet in order to make her feel welcome, she's going to know that something's up and might consider her reappointment to the BAU as a pity gesture, not something that she earned on her own merits. And that knowledge could drive an even larger wedge between the two of you. You don't want that to happen, do you?"
"No. I want to…well, at this point, I just want to talk to my friend once more. I've never been able to consider her as anything other than that, even though I know how much she abhors me. Because it hurt too much to think of her as anything less than that."
Jessica nodded with sympathy as she reached across the table to take hold of Erin's hand, squeezing it a little as she smiled. "And that is going to be your downfall, if you aren't careful. You need to try and divorce those feelings from the workplace, so that things can start out on neutral ground and work towards positive."
"How is it that you know so much about me?"
"Because you've let me in and showed me your heart. We've talked so much over the years that I've gotten to see and know the real you, the you that you've been slowly showing to the rest of the BAU. It will take a lot of time before you're fully open, maybe like you were when Alex and you first met, but it will be worth the effort when you finally reach that spot with everyone else."
Erin tightened her grip on Jessica's hand as she took a few deep breaths. "I hope that I can reach that point, yes. But at least I have you in my life." She blinked back the tears that had sprung up in her eyes, glancing down at the menu in order to give herself something else to concentrate on as she tried to get her emotions under control. "But what if she hates me forever?"
"Then she hates the you who you once were, and it is her loss that she can't get past that to know the you of today."
Their server came over at that moment, and Erin was grateful for the distraction, since she was able to focus on what she wanted to eat rather than the overwhelming sense that Alex's return would not mean anything particularly good for her in the long run, even if it was the right thing for her to do. As soon as the young man was gone, however, she felt Jessica watching her intently, as if waiting for her to say something about the current situation. "I wish she could see past what happened. But you're right, I can't push her to see the changes in me. It has to be natural, even if my inclination is to just hover."
"Exactly. And you can call me and talk at me with all the things that you want to say to her when you see her. Because at least that way you get it out, and don't have to worry about holding it in."
Erin nodded as she took a deep breath. "I will probably take you up on that more often in the first few weeks that she's with us. But, if things go much better than I could ever begin to hope, will you forgive me in advance for focusing on Alex more? At least until things even out between us. I don't want to lose our friendship, but I know that I can have a bit of tunnel vision at times, and…"
"It will be fine, Erin. We have our own lives, outside of each other, and I will be happy for you when you start to reconcile with Alex. Because I am certain of the bond that we share, and don't have to worry about losing our connection." She smiled shakily as she nodded, so grateful for this sweet friendship that she had in her life.
