Catherine hadn't been able to shake her nightmare all day, and she had clung to Erin, even as they had tried to keep up as normal a schedule as possible while David was out working the case to find Maeve. It had been Elise's first week back at the stable, even though the cast was still on her arm. She just hadn't been able to say no to her daughter pleading to see her horse and maybe riding a little, even if not a complete lesson, not after the night she had had.
They had all seemed surprised when she took them to Pizza Express after their time at the stable, but it had been nice to let them run around and play as she tried to talk as much as she could to Jessica, even with Catherine clinging to her the entire time they had been there. Now, she was asleep in their bed once more, sucking her thumb as her eyes moved restlessly in her slumber. It was hard to concentrate on her book as she waited for more news from David, but she was hoping that no news was good news as she kept reading the same paragraph over and over.
Finally, she gave up making any progress at all in the book and set it on the nightstand before turning off her lamp and settling down to sleep, once more curling her body around Catherine's as she struggled to get to sleep. Sometime later, the bed dipped beneath a heavy weight, and she opened her eyes to see that David had returned, and he was dressed in pyjamas now. "You're home," she said through a yawn, tugging Catherine closer to her body so that she could lean in and kiss her husband. "You don't know how good it is to see your face again. I missed you today, and Catherine was crabby all day, and I just feel like I failed as a mother."
"Well, I failed as an agent today. We, we weren't able to save Maeve. And the best and worst thing about the whole damn situation?"
She hated the harshness in his voice and Erin reached out to rub his arm softly as she stared into his eyes. "What would that be, darling?"
"There doesn't appear to be any link between the madwoman who murdered Maeve and the madman who is stalking you and Alex. And there's no viable link between what happened tonight and the person who's replicating our cases. I just hate to think that there are multiple people out there who are doing their best to hurt us, to hurt you."
"I'm tough, I can take a little stalking," she tried to tease, but found that her words were a little too strained to come off as glib and light. David shook his head as he reached across Karen in order to rest his hand on her elbow, squeezing a bit roughly. Wincing, Erin instinctively pulled her arm away before bursting into tears. "And I don't even know why I'm crying."
"Because you can feel the pressure of knowing that someone is watching you, watching us, and making bold decisions as to your safety as a result of what they think they know. There's a special sort of hell stress that comes along with constantly looking over your shoulder. I experienced that in Vietnam, and it is a rough way to live."
Erin nodded as she continued to quietly cry, grateful that Catherine was a heavy sleeper and so didn't seem to be bothered by the fact that her parents were talking over her sleeping form. "I just…I keep feeling like I'm waiting for something to happen, you know?"
He nodded and began to run his hand up and down her arm in an effort to soothe her. "I do."
"And poor Doctor Reid must be beside himself, to lose his girlfriend before they ever really had a chance to meet."
"It's worse than that, Erin. He figured out where Maeve was being held, and went into the situation without backup, thinking that he could convince the woman to let Maeve go. And that almost worked, too, until she decided that he wasn't being truthful and decided to kill herself and Maeve with one bullet." She gasped, her eyes filling with tears once more as she stared at him in horror. "I know, I thought of you and Haley when that was going down. How you must have been in agony to see your friend murdered in front of your eyes and know that there was nothing you could do to save her. And then I thought about how I would feel if I was the one watching everything going down, and I was so glad to come home to you tonight and know that you were safe and here."
He leaned in and kissed her deeply, taking care not to squish Catherine between them as he slipped his arm down to her waist and spread his hand out on her back. "That is another sort of hell that I hope you never experience, David. To watch someone you've cared for so deeply be shot down by a madman hellbent on hurting people as much as possible." Her words left her as she was drawn back to that horrible moment when she watched Foyet push away Haley's hair before shooting her without remorse.
"I'm here, Erin."
"I know. And I don't know what we'll do to make certain that Doctor Reid is all right. You know that he has issues with substance abuse, and an event like this could see him relapsing. You have to make certain that doesn't happen, he doesn't deserve to lose that along with his girlfriend."
He nodded before kissing her forehead. "This is probably why I fell in love with you, Erin. Because you have this heart that is larger than anyone could possibly know, unless they live with you. And while I know that you have been trying to build a closer rapport with the team in the last few months, I also know that there is still a lot of progress to be made between a few of you."
"But as long as I keep trying, that has to count for something, yes?"
"Yes." He pulled back to smile at her, tears tracking down his face to catch in his goatee. "Oh, stellina, I just want to pack you and the children up and lose ourselves in some country where the internet can't find us until Aaron and the team finds out who's stalking you. This is far too close for comfort, and it's not going to let up any time soon, since we're no closer to finding this jagoff than we were three months ago. I can't lose you, Erin."
"You think I want to lose you? Or Alex? Or Aaron? And yet, you three head out into the field every week, and I feel like bits and pieces of my heart are walking into danger with every case that comes along my desk. If I had known that opening myself up to love and care would lead to this, I might have chosen a different path."
David shook his head as he stroked her hair lightly. "I don't think that you could ever do that, Erin. Your heart was made for love, even when that love hurts." She gave him a small nod before leaning in to kiss him again, a wide yawn threatening to split her lips as his hand ran back down to her hip, holding her close as they drifted off to sleep.
