"How much fucking acid did I take?" Sylvie asked as she looked around in a state of shock.
The room in front of her was huge, more of a warehouse than a room. It had huge windows with sunlight streaming in, giving the place a cheerful mood. Though Sylvie didn't think it was possible for this place not to be cheerful even if it had been pitch black. Every inch of it was covered in Christmas paraphernalia. Holly and garlands and bells and baubles and mistletoe and glitter. There were no less than eight ginormous Christmas trees along the walls, each reaching almost to the ceiling high above Sylvie's head with immaculate decorations from tip to tree skirt. However, the majority of the room was filled with assembly lines. Toy assembly lines. With elfs running them. Real life elfs.
They were only slightly smaller than Sylvie herself, she wouldn't have thought much if she'd seen one of them on the street if it weren't for the pointy ears, unnaturally rosy cheeks, and overly cheerful demeanor. The workshop was a flurry of movement that didn't slow down for a second, but it seemed well choreographed. Everyone knew their job, and was doing it well while chatting animatedly to those around them. Sylvie could just barely hear Christmas music playing somewhere-well, she assumed it was Christmas music, she couldn't make out the song over the noise of the busily working elfs.
Two seconds ago she'd been walking into a boring, tiny, office building in Alaska to start her first day of her new job. The secretary-had she been an elf as well? She had been short after all…-told her to go through the first door on the right and when Sylvie had…here she was. She looked back through the door she'd walked in to see a picturesque Christmas town, covered in the most fluffy perfect snow she'd ever seen in her life, then back to the workshop, then back out a few times before making her declaration.
It had to be drugs.
"I wouldn't know, but do you have any on you? We're all about sharing here at the North Pole," a man answered with a mischievous grin. He looked sorely out of place, wearing all black from head to toe. Though his clothes reminded her more of a character in a Jane Austin novel than anything resembling modern fashion, perhaps he did belong here.
The woman next to him gave him a disapproving look before turning her attention back to Sylvie. She looked much more like she belonged, with a festive red dress and white apron over it. Her gray-blonde hair was elaborately done up in curls on top of her head, and she had the same unnaturally rosy cheeks as the elfs.
"I know this must be a shock, but you're not on drugs, my dear. You're in the North Pole. It's lovely to meet you, I'm Mrs. Claus, but please, call me Frigga," the woman said in a caring tone, reaching out to shake Sylvie's hand.
"Right," Sylvie nodded slowly. "North Pole. Dreaming then. Has to be a dream."
"It's not," Frigga said patiently. "But I know it's a lot to process. Why don't you come into my office? I'll make you some tea. Or hot chocolate! We do specialize in it."
"Can sexy guy come too?" Sylvie asked, pointing to the man dressed all in black.
He grinned in a way that made Sylvie think he was holding back a laugh, but then said, "I would be delighted to accompany you. It's Loki, by the way, but feel free to call me sexy all you'd like."
Frigga just looked uncomfortable. "If you would like," she muttered and lead Sylvie into her office.
It was cozy, with a roaring fireplace, and a desk with legs painted with candy cane stripes, just as Christmas-y as everything else. "Have a seat, my dear," she told Sylvie kindly, and then Frigga went to a corner of the office with a hot cocoa making station and got to work.
Sylvie's eyes flickered around the office, though she wasn't processing much of anything. This was the most vivid dream she'd ever had. After a moment, her eyes landed on Loki. "Sooo," she drew out the sound, "who are you supposed to be? I get she's Mrs. Claus, but are you here just in case this dream gets spicy?"
Loki let out a snort, not able to fully keep in his laughter this time. "It's not a dream, but I'm her son. Currently I manage all of Toys, but I'll be training you for that job now," his voice grew tight as he talked about training her, and there was something about the look in his eye that gave away he wasn't too happy about this turn of events.
"Right! New job! That's what this is. I'm nervous about my new job tomorrow, so I'm having a stress dream."
"Will anything convince you that you're not dreaming?" Loki raised an eyebrow, back to seeming amused.
"Well," Sylvie mused, "I'm either dreaming, on acid, or fucking Santa Claus is real. So…no, nothing will."
"I'm not sure about the fucking anymore, you'll have to ask her," Loki tilted his head to indicate Frigga.
"Loki!" Frigga huffed at him.
"What?" Loki laughed. "She's the one who brought it up."
"She's in shock, you can't blame her for what she's saying right now," Frigga chided. "Here," she said to Sylvie, bringing the new employee a large mug full of flawless hot chocolate with fluffy marshmallows floating on top. "It has a little magic in it to help you process."
"Thanks," Sylvie said before taking a large sip. It was absolute surgery, chocolatey perfection.
Sylvie took a deep breath as she looked down at her drink, the world seeming to settle around her. Her head felt more clear and reality seemed to come into focus. Oh…Oh no. Sylvie reached out to give the arm of her chair a squeeze. It felt solid. This…this was real.
She looked up with an absolutely mortified expression on her face. Loki met her eyes with a smirk that was a little too malicious for Sylvie's liking. "Still think I'm sexy then?"
"Loki!" Frigga huffed at him again. She shook her head, then addressed Sylvie. "Don't pay him any mind. You won't be judged for what you said when you were…processing it all."
"What?-...How?-...Why?" Sylvie sputtered out.
One moment she'd been normal. Working a shitty office job, underpaid, wanting something more for herself. She'd gotten a notification from a company on LinkedIn who had seen her profile and wanted to interview her for a leadership position. Sylvie thought she'd been highered kinda quickly after just one Zoom interview, but she couldn't pass up the pay, so she'd packed up her stuff and moved to Alaska. Well, she was in a hotel for now, but she'd find an apartment soon enough. And then, all of a sudden, she'd walked through a door and found out magic was real.
"Well, you see, Loki here will be moving to a different position soon, so I asked my snow globe who would be best for the job, and it said you," Frigga explained cheerfully.
"So I…got this job…because a magic snow globe said I was the best candidate," Sylvie repeated.
"Pretty much, yes," Frigga nodded.
"Well fuck-I'm sorry, pardon my language. Well…" don't say shit "wow…I wish it had been there when I finished undergrad."
Frigga gave a short laugh. "I've been asking for a while, but it's a bit temperamental. It won't give me an answer until the time is right, so I guess the time is right…now," she smiled. "But I know this is a lot. We have a home set up for you here in the village. Why don't I show you there, and you can have the rest of the day to process? Then Loki will start training you tomorrow."
"That…would be nice. Thank you," Sylvie nodded.
"Can't wait," Loki muttered.
"Be nice," Frigga chided him. Then, back to Sylvie, "Come along, my dear, it's a lovely place."
The next morning, Loki was in a worse mood than usual. The first day of training his fucking replacement.
He was taking a sip of his extra strong peppermint mocha when she came into his office. She seemed much more put together this morning, though she was still dressed strangely. Her trousers and jacket were gray, who actually wore gray? He always wore black specifically to distance himself from everyone else, but she was someone they were supposed to like. At least her shirt was green.
"Morning," she nodded.
"Let's get to work," he answered shortly. He'd worked hard for this job, and here she was taking it right from under him. She better at least be good because he wasn't going to coddle her.
"Lets," she nodded and moved to sit across from him, but he shook his head.
"We'll start with a tour of the factory, then I'll show you our storage organization, and then how to check the Lists," he said shortly.
"Lead the way," she answered, being just as short with him. Of course, it wasn't surprising she already didn't like him. He was used to being disliked.
Still, she was a fast learner and didn't ask any stupid questions. Several elfs gave her pitying glances when the pair would pass them, and Loki pretended not to notice. Of course, even having to learn from him was just so bad.
It was only about an hour later when they were back in his office. He was showing her their system on his laptop-the system he implemented to make Toys run so much smoother. Before they had to check the Naughty and Nice Lists by hand, then cross check them with the children's wish lists to ensure they were making the correct amount of toys for the upcoming holiday. Now it was all digitized, clicking any name on the Nice list would automatically bring up the associated child's wish list, the wish lists were all uploaded to a spreadsheet that did the accounting automatically to ensure the correct amount of each toy was produced. He'd worked so hard on it, and done a damn good job, and now she was just going to take over.
"No wonder you're getting a promotion," Sylvie told him at one point. "You're good at this."
Loki was surprised at the compliment, he didn't get many of those. Unfortunately, it was the exact wrong thing to say and he let out a short, bitter laugh. "Promotion, right. Going to fucking Cookies."
Sylvie raised an eyebrow at him. "Doesn't sound like you're too happy about this situation."
"Of course I'm not," he huffed. "Cookies is such a downgrade. I didn't get a choice in this."
"Then why am I here?" Sylvie asked, looking very confused.
Loki had been lectured over and over about how he was not to tell her the real reason she was here. He'd been warned that he'd be in just soooo much trouble if he did. He was supposed to train her, tell her he was getting to take over a new department and he was just so happy about that, and move on. Not like she might want to talk to him after he trained her, of course. Who would want that? But whatever he did, he was not to tell her why she was brought to the North Pole.
Too bad for his parents, he had nothing left to lose. They were already taking his job, the one damn thing that made him happy.
"They didn't ask that snow globe who was the best for this job, they asked who the best girlfriend for my brother is. She's you, congrats! You're about to meet prince charming," Loki rolled his eyes.
Loki wouldn't have exactly described Sylvie as 'warm' before that moment, but she went cold as eyes. "They brought me in like some fucking mail order bride?"
Loki scoffed. "Not a bad metaphor."
"Why?" Sylvie demanded.
"My dad wants to retire soon, and he can't until Thor is married. Santa has to have a Mrs. Claus."
"And I just don't get a say in this?" she was almost shaking with rage. It was quite amusing, if Loki did say so himself.
Loki shrugged. "If magic says you're his perfect match, then he must be yours too. Don't worry, I'm sure they'll introduce you soon and you'll be swept off your feet."
Sylvie got up and started pacing back and forth across his office, her back ramrod straight. "Absolutely not! I am not some mail-order-bride-pussy-for-hire. I don't care if he's the most perfect damn man in the whole world, I will not have my choice taken away from me like this," she ranted.
Loki respected that. She wasn't quite what he expected Thor's perfect girl to be, but he was starting to think she might not actually be so horrible after all. "Then leave," Loki shrugged. "They'll ask the snow globe and get second place. They don't care, they just want him married off."
"Oh no," Sylvie said, rounding on him. "I'm not just going to let them get away with this."
"What are you thinking?" Loki asked curiously.
"Revenge," she answered shortly.
Loki smirked as he leaned forward in his chair, resting his elbows on his desk and his chin on his folded hands. "Now you're speaking my language. What are you thinking?"
"Simple. Their plan goes horribly wrong. I don't go for Thor at all, instead I go for you," Sylvie answered.
"There's nothing anyone here would hate more," he grinned.
"Why?" Sylvie asked. "Why does everyone here act like you're going to curse them or something?"
Loki took a deep breath, she'd find out eventually. Maybe, at least for the meantime, it would make her like him more since he'd be more useful for her little plot. "The first born becomes Santa Claus, the second born becomes Krampus. When I grow up I'll be the monster parents use to frighten their children into behaving."
Unexpectedly, Sylvie seemed to light up at that. "Really? That's so cool."
Of all the things she could have said, he wasn't expecting that. "You think so?"
"Of course, Krampus is way better than Santa Claus. I used to tell the other girls at the orphanage about him to scare them into sharing their sweets," she laughed at the memory.
Loki deflated a little, not enough for her to notice. Of course she also used him to scare people into submission. Though…when she said it, it didn't seem so bad. "Well, you're the only one who thinks so. Everyone here thinks I'm going to snap one day and try to completely ruin Christmas."
"If you do, I want to help. I hate Christmas."
Loki looked at her like she'd just grown a second head. "What?! How can you hate Christmas? It's…it's the best!"
Sylvie groaned as she moved to sit back in one of the seats across his desk. "Not you too!"
"I don't know what exactly you think of me, but I'm literally Santa's son. Of course I love Christmas."
"Oh yeah, it's great," Sylvie rolled her eyes. "Everything everywhere saying how it's the best time of year, and how you should get presents and spend time with family and be so fucking jolly. Well it's not so easy when you have no one and get nothing every single year. That Krampus story is the only good thing about Christmas."
"Oh," Loki frowned. He'd always thought every human loved Christmas. That they all had friends and family and presents and good food…Was he wrong about that? Apparently so, she'd just told him so. Did some humans feel alone around Christmas?
"Anyway," Sylvie said with a dramatic sigh, "I should go. Your parents invited me for dinner to 'see how my first day went'. Now I think it's just to introduce me to your brother."
"That sounds awful."
"It will be," she groaned. Then her eyes locked on him. "Unless you want to come with me? Start our plan to ruin theirs?"
"Oh no, I'll play along, but I am not going to family dinner."
"Come on, please? I'll owe you one. It'll be funny!"
Loki looked her over for a moment. This strange little human who was different than he expected her to be. Who hated Christmas and wanted revenge on his parents. Maybe it would be good to have her owe him a favor. "Fine, but only because you'll owe me."
