Hello Everyone!

I actually started this in October 2022, since while browsing through the "Cuddling & Snuggling" tag on AO3, I was disappointed that there was not an "Angsty Snuggling" sub-tag already there. So I decided to start one, because why not? (What's that meme? About how I really love these characters, and want to give them a hug? Or I really love these characters, and I want them to suffer? Well, I've put them both together in a single story!) Fair warning, I made myself cry while writing this. If sad stories are not your thing, you might want to give this a miss.

This has been sitting neglected in my "Works in Progress" folder for over a year, since I've been focusing on other fest stories (most of which are also still lingering in that folder), but I'm finally taking the time to get this edited and out to all of you. The whole story is pre-written, but will be released in chapters on Wednesdays and Saturdays so I've got more time to finish editing it while still getting it off of my plate.

I'm the only person who is going to be editing this, and all mistakes are my own. If you have any feedback, whether it be things you love or (kind) constructive criticism, I'd love to hear it.

Finally, the usual "no own, no money, no sue" disclaimer applies.

With that, I leave you to enjoy the first chapter from Harry's point of view!

Best,
OfLegosAndDragons


After Ron left them alone in the tent, Harry tried as hard as he could to keep things normal for Hermione. He didn't need the locket to tell him that eventually Hermione would leave too, and he was just delaying the inevitable since everyone left him eventually. He already knew that fact well. That being said, just the thought of Hermione having enough and leaving too filled his heart with ice, and so he still tried delaying said inevitable.

All things considered, Harry was actually pleasantly surprised how well they were both able to pretend that everything was fine. Sure, they started spending most of their time outside rather than in the tent, no matter what they were doing, so that one of them could always keep watch. And, sure, it was noticeably harder to try and have a regular schedule when one of them needed to stay up for night watch every night, but they'd managed to figure out how to sleep in shifts so that one of them could cover the first half of the night, and the other the second. It didn't exactly hide the fact that Ron was gone, but they made it work, and Harry was pleasantly surprised that he was able to keep things under control and not scare Hermione away too.

Unfortunately, the weather was outside of his control, and things started to change again within just a few weeks. Once winter started to set in, the weather went from uncomfortably chilly to intolerably cold, and the windchill was downright brutal. This made the fact that they were constantly spending most of their time outside of the tent notably more unpleasant, especially during night watches. Finally, Hermione pointed out that they couldn't actually defeat Voldemort if they died of hypothermia staring into the darkness at night, and so they ended up just reinforcing the protective enchantments before they went to bed, and stopped keeping a night watch. As much as both of them hated just hoping that the enchantments would be enough to keep them safe through the night, neither of them could figure out a better solution.

While sheltering through the night in what little warmth and protection from the wind the tent had to offer was an improvement, it wasn't ever exactly warm, no matter how many layers they ended up putting on. Trying to sleep through the seeping cold quickly became a particularly futile effort for Harry. He ended up lying awake, watching Hermione shiver under both hers and Ron's blankets, trying to suppress his own shivers so that Hermione wouldn't do something noble like offer Ron's blanket to him. Finally, though, he couldn't take watching Hermione shiver anymore, and got up to add his blanket to her little nest as well. He'd find some other way of keeping warm tonight. Maybe jogging laps back and forth in the tent would help, even though he felt increasingly more lethargic by the day.

Apparently, Hermione was only pretending to sleep as well. As soon as he put his blanket on her, she rolled over and raised the pile of blankets up, leaving a gap. Harry just stared at her, unsure what to do now. He hadn't exactly planned for Hermione being awake to witness his stupidly noble deed.

"Given that neither of us can sleep due to the cold, we'd be better off using each other's body heat (as well as combining the blankets) to try staying warm so that we can actually get some sleep. Honestly, Harry, just get in already; I'm not going to bite."

Harry wanted to protest (this wasn't keeping things normal!) but he didn't know what to say. His first thought went to Ron, and how he was sure that she'd much rather have Ron than him in bed with her, even if it was just to keep warm. They hadn't mentioned Ron's name since he had left, however, and now didn't seem like the time to bring him up. His second thought was that he didn't want to infringe on her space (not that she had a lot in the tent anyway), but she was inviting him in. His third thought was that it was still bloody cold in the tent, and Hermione's offer was very tempting. Eventually, he tried searching Hermione's face for any sign that she was just offering to share a bed out of her own nobility, and she didn't actually want him to take her up on her offer. Instead, she looked almost pleadingly at him, and so he slowly crawled under the covers next to her, and let her tuck them both in and wrap herself around him.

At first, it was strange. He had never pictured his first time sharing a bed with anyone being with Hermione, much less when they were spooning for warmth. He also always pictured himself being the big spoon on the few occasions that he let himself think about the future, and what he might want if he didn't die in the war. That being said, this was nice. Not only was he finally feeling warm for the first time in weeks, but it was weird how protected he felt. They were in the middle of nowhere, being hunted by everyone, facing an impossible task, and slowly starving and freezing to death, but in Hermione's arms he felt safer than he ever had, including even his first night at Hogwarts away from the Dursleys. While he usually hated that he was the shortest one of their little trio, he actually didn't mind it as much if it came with the benefit of being able to fit in Hermione's arms. With the gentle puff of her breath against his neck, Harry felt himself drifting off to sleep. His last thought before nodding off was that he hoped that if he survived the war, Ginny might maybe sometimes potentially be willing to let him be the little spoon once in a while, so he could get to feel this protected feeling again when Hermione inevitably got together with Ron.

When he woke up, Harry felt more refreshed than he had in ages. In fact, he was pretty sure this was his first night without a nightmare since they'd found the locket and started living in the tent. Not even the measly meal they could forage up or Hermione passing over the Horcrux to him (in their ritual handoff at lunch) could dampen his mood. Come that night, however, Harry wasn't quite sure what to do. After they both refreshed the protective enchantments, and went through their respective nightly rituals, Harry wasn't exactly sure what came next. Would Hermione want him back in her bed for the warmth, or would she want her own space again? Fortunately, Hermione had always been the braver of the two of them, and just silently lifted up the blankets again for him to crawl into bed with her. This time though, he was determined to try and make her feel as safe as she had made him feel the night before, and gently rolled her over so that he could hold her tonight. He was pretty sure that what she really wanted was for Ron to hold her in her sleep like this, but he would have to do his best in the meantime.

As soon as he gently wrapped her in his arms though (as she did the night before), the fears started leaking in. What if she didn't like being held, or thought he was overstepping his bounds? What if his shorter height wasn't enough to make her feel as safe as she made him feel? What if he was (somehow) doing it all wrong, and she was just too polite to say anything? Or, worst of all, what if he got a morning wood and ended up poking her with it, and she thought he was only interested in her for that, and she didn't want to share a bed with him again, and she didn't ever hold him again to make him feel safe, and she left him in the morning since everything would be too awkward and it would ruin everything, and she never wanted to see him again after he'd ruined their friendship?

By the time he had finished spiraling, he was ready to jump out of bed since—clearly—this was all a mistake. Hermione was already asleep in his arms by then, though, and he couldn't bring himself to wake her. She deserved normalcy and safety as well, and he would do his best to provide it to her, no matter the consequences or his own comfort. He fell into a restless sleep soon after, trying his hardest to stay still and silent so as not to wake her, even as his own sleep was plagued by nightmares. The good news was that the Horcrux was apparently great for keeping any sort of joy away (even in his sleep). Therefore, at least he didn't actually need to figure out how to hide the fact that he was a boy from Hermione when they got up. Even with that small blessing though, as much as he hated to admit it to even himself, he was glad when Hermione woke up in the morning, and they could go about their day. Handing off the Horcrux at lunch helped as well, although that also made him feel guilty that now she had to deal with it for the next day. In the end, however, there was nothing he could do about that, so they both sucked it up and worked on planning where they'd travel next.

When night came, and Hermione started to be the big spoon again, Harry couldn't bring himself to fight it, and accepted the comfort. He resolved that the next night he'd make her feel safe though, since she deserved it more than he did. After all, he was supposed to be the hero, the chosen one, the boy who could carry the weight of the world due to some stupid prophecy. If he couldn't make his best friend feel safe in her sleep, how could he keep everyone else safe for real?


Poor Harry! If only there was some way for him to know what Hermione was feeling.

(Spoiler alert: the next chapter is from Hermione's point of view. While Harry might still be clueless, you'll get to see that on Saturday.)

I hope you enjoyed the first chapter!

Best,
OfLegosAndDragons