Chapter V: Wild Thing Makes My Heart Sing - Saturday
AN:
Hey there, Fan-fic-folks!
Double update today. This is the second chapter, check the first if you haven't already.
Thanks for reading and, as always, please review.
"How the hell do you even cook pasta?"
"Pan. Water. Salt it. Boil for four. Wait. Boil less for ten." Max repeats, since I'd already asked the same question seven times and now was only continuing just to annoy the shit out of her. She had a little quivering tic in her eyebrow whenever it happened and something in me just wanted to see it more.
I'd tried to convince her that a watched pot really never boils. She'd just stared at me until I grinned and stopped.
"So, how long has it been boiling now?"
"Seven minutes. We literally just turned it down, Chloe."
"But what-" I stare at the open door to the backgarden. "Huh."
Max turns, and gasps. "What the fuck is that?"
Again, when Max swears, just- aww.
"It's a beaver, Max. North American Beaver, specifically."
"How in the hell do you know that?" She asks.
I shrug. "It's... literally our state animal."
"Okay, fair. But what the hell is it- omigod it's in the kitchen!" Max shrieks, running back from the creature that seems completely unfazed but slightly baffled at this environment it somehow- Oh. Did they- No. They couldn't have- Could they? Are they really- Oh yeah. Those fuckers. "I'm pretty sure we have our chaos-gremlins to thank for this."
"It's been thirty minutes since we got back from the store, where did they find a beaver in 30 minutes?"
I shrug. "American Beaver. And a river, probably. I dunno, I just know what they look like, Max. I'm not a beaver-ologist."
"I'm pretty sure it's not a beaver-ologist, Chloe."
"Then what is it called?"
"Uhh..." Max trails off, clearly groping for some kind of answer off in her head somewhere.
"Exactly." I sing-song with all the confidence of the definitely-correct. "Beaver-ologist."
The beaver trots through the kitchen and gently noses open the door to the dining room, then skitters through. Both of us stare at the door, then each other, then the door, then each other, then the door. "Fuck!"
We chase it through. The beaver looks at us in open alarm and squeaks an oddly singsong sound kinda like those animated horn-faced characters I'd seen Max watching on TV awhile back. Max squeaks back, though hers was more high pitch and honestly way more panicked. The beaver then hisses and runs under this big wooden dresser-looking thing.
Max just swears again.
—
We eventually manage to get the thing cornered, and Max pushes the door open just as I charge the poor thing with a broom. It squeaks and squeals, but we manage to get it back into the kitchen and then out the door, where we find all three Marsh sisters sat around in some very expensive lawn furniture watching us. They clap. "Great work! That move with the broom was inspired!"
"Oh yes, bravo!" Lynn chimes - her British accent is terrible.
Max lets them rag on us for a few more minutes - and boy do they get creative - before she snaps. "Right! All three of you, get the hell inside, sit down, shut up, and wait for the fucking pasta!"
Woah.
"I-"
"Actually," Lynn smirks, "We have a better idea. How about a little wager?"
"We're not playing poker for-"
Lynn shakes her head, her expression severe. "No, not poker. A real game: Hide and Seek."
"Seriously?" I can't help but chip in.
"Hide and Seek is an intense game of tactics and skill," Sarah says, voice taking no shit. "It's a good... trial by talent."
"Unless you're chicken." Kate chimes, raising one eyebrow at me.
It's an obvious play, but fuck if it doesn't work. "I'm not chicken - you're-"
"No." Max cuts us both off at the knees. "We're going to eat first. Then we'll talk about it. Understood?"
"Oh, alright. I guess we can wait." The Marshes rise and head for the door inside. "You said it was plain pasta, right?"
—
I was the last one to push my plate to the middle of the table and the moment it stopped moving the kids were up. "Right! Hide and Seek, Marsh-style. Here's the rules-"
We all turn to Max, half expecting her to say no. She just sighs. "Fine. We'll do it."
"Right." Lynn claps her hands together, continues, "So, rules: No leaving the boundaries of the house-"
"That includes the back garden." Sarah chimes in.
"-yeah," Lynn glares a little at her sister for interrupting her flow. "Back garden too. You can hide in containers, but no making major cosmetic changes to the house-" Before I can interrupt to ask what that means, she explains, "-so you can hide in a box that's already in a room, but you can't move the furniture around or anything. If you're found, you can run, but if you get touched, you're got. And finally, if you're in the same spot for longer than an hour, you gotta move. It means you're hidden too good and nobody is gonna find you. That's how we end up with five hour games and getting bored and going off to watch Veggie Tales."
"That was one time!" Sarah yells.
"One time of bullshit!" Lynn retorts back.
Kate suddenly steps in. "We have a game to play. Do you both understand the rules?"
I shrug. "Don't move too much shit about, if you get touched you're got, and move if you get bored. Not exactly rocket science."
She tilts her head in acknowledgement. "Fair point. So, who's going to be our first seeker?"
After everyone looks at each other just a little too long, I sigh. "I guess I'll go."
The Marshes start to glance between themselves, conniving little grins already in place. Huh. Maybe I am making this more adversarial than it needs to be. Then Lynn drags her thumb across her throat and tells me I'm going down with a snarl.
Nope. I'm good. Competition is healthy. Competition is good. I'm gonna destroy them.
"What do you want me to count to?"
"Call it twenty, thirty seconds?"
"Could you be a bit more specific?"
"Twenty six seconds?"
"No, twenty eight!"
"Just count to thirty, lets not make it complicated."
Max. The voice of sanity. Thank you. "Alright, 30 it is. Fuck off and hide already."
They scatter, like pigeons after you charge at them screaming too loud. I turn, and I start counting. There's a thunk behind me as the door closes. "One-two-three-"
I hit 30, and go. A quick glance around and there's definitely none of them in the room - wouldn't put it past them to try some tricky bullshit like that - so I push open the door and head out into the corridor. The house feels weirdly still, and a little bit too quiet. Something in me itches at the feeling.
With a shrug, I pick a direction and start walkin', waiting for something interesting to pop up for me. The Marshes have a washer-dryer room, because of course they do, and I walk in. The machines are empty, and a couple of baskets hold their washed and dried clothes. I thought one of 'em might've tried to hide in the laundry bin, but all of them were almost empty.
I move on, picking up the sock I find on the floor outside and chucking it into one of the boxes. Three separate sitting-rooms, another smaller kitchen, a games room, a study, and the front room with the big TV later and the ground floor is clear and I'm pretty sure none of them are down here.
So, I headed upstairs.
Fuck it. I pick a door. And wow. They have an entire room for their religious knicknacks? And a shittonne of candles. And an alarming amount of pictures of random people. I stare at it all for a good few seconds, just taking it all in. I had a friend who was into this kinda stuff in primary school, but her version had just been a table in the corner of her front room. Rich people, man.
I walk over to the shrine-thingy and start looking at some of the stuff. Honestly, it's kinda cool. They had a fingerbone in a little gold-glass box. How awesome was that?
Then I notice a few cupboards along the side walls that are definitely big enough to hide a person - especially a Max or Lynn sized person - and go to check.
As I step in closer, something occurs to me - it's polite to close doors behind you in places like this, right? Seals of confession or something? So, I turn around and go push the door shut and nearly shit myself as I see Kate standing behind a lamp next to the door.
A win for manners and decorum, I guess - if I'd've left the door open, I'd never have seen her.
"Darn." She says.
I laugh. "Guess you're my first victim."
"Not if I run."
I just reach out and tag her. "Sure."
Height. It's a hell of a thing.
She laughs. "Yeah, it was a bit of a hail mary."
"Should you be saying that in here?"
"The whole point of a Hail Mary is a plea for assistance."
"Huh, really?"
"Yup."
"Cool. Well, guess today is not your day."
"Nope."
"You wanna help me look for the rest?"
"I'm no traitor. You're the seeker, go seek."
"Fine."
I head out again, Kate trailing me with a grin. I just go to the next door and push it open. A bedroom. Nobody was in there, so I move on to the next one. The next bedroom was a fucking mess. Clothes were just all over the place. Kind of reminded me of the Junk place in Labyrinth.
I went in and started poking around, checking closets and cupboards and shit. I was about to leave, when a thought popped into my head. The rest of this house was neat and tidy, and all the laundry baskets downstairs were almost empty. If the sock outside had been dropped...
I start tearing the pile of clothes apart and get a low "ooof!" for my troubles. I grin and shove my arm in until I find a person. "Tag!"
Sarah swears. Loudly.
Kate laughs.
Two Marshes down. One Max and One Marsh to go. Not bad, me.
I skip the next door - it was locked, and try the one after. I'm about halfway through searching when I hear a knock and running outside. I charge out just in time to see someone rushing downstairs.
I immediately start sprinting after them - Mom always said my long legs would come in handy one day. Never thought it'd be for this, I bet. I take the stairs way too many at a time and turn the corner just in time to see the dining room door close.
I poke around some, and find nothing. I even check the kitchen next door - de nada. And nothing in the garden either. I could check the sheds, but they're both locked and I'm pretty sure she didn't have time to get further than the kitchen anyway. I heard Kate and Sarah outside chatting. No reaction, so whoever was in here didn't get out.
They weren't in any of the cupboards, or on top of the fridge. I check everywhere in both rooms that I can think of and don't get a thing. I swear, stomp over to one of the chairs and throw myself down in it, swearing again. Because I was on a streak, damnit, and this is just-
I let my head fall back with a sigh, and then I swear again. Because Lynn Marsh is balanced between two of the big wooden ceiling beams, doing the fucking splits, staring down at me with wide nervous eyes. "How in the fuck did you get up there?"
"I take gymnastics. Leapt from the chair and vaulted up from the table."
"Do I need to get a stick to tag you or will you just go with it?"
"I'll go with it. Could you move, you're in my way down?"
"Fine. Don't hurt yourself. Max'll kill me."
The three Marshes and me congregate in the corridor. "So. Great at Hide and Seek you said?" I mimic the thumb-across-the-throat grin with a laugh. "Guess Max outdid you all."
"How do we know you didn't cheat? Could've been... planning with her?"
"Conniving, even."
"Yeah! How do we know you're not a cheater, Price?" Kate leans in and pokes me. Oddly sharp fingernails on that girl. Damn.
"You don't." I shrug. I lean in. "And even if I was, that just means I outthought you."
"She's got you there, Katie Kat." Lynn laughs, poking at her sister.
I grin. "Katie Kat! Fuck, I like that!"
"I will suffocate you both in your sleep if you don't stop."
"Whatever you say, Katie Kat." Oh, this is gonna be fun.
I had a couple rooms left upstairs to search - I find another locked door, and then a final bedroom. It's nice. Probably one of the sisters, I think. I start poking around, under the bed, then I pull open a closet and there Max is.
I poke her. "Tag."
Then I drag her out of the closet. Back in the hall, I shove her gently towards the Marshes. "I guess I'm the new Hide and Seek champion, huh? Chloe Price, asskicker."
"Yeah, yeah." They grumble.
Max sees her opportunity. "So, are you going to do what you promised?"
"Fiiiine. We'll stay inside. No more trouble."
—
A few hours later, right when we're ready to head to bed, the house shakes under the force of a spectacular guitar riff. The fuck-
"Chloe!" Max calls from outside - like, front door outside. Shit. I sprint to the door and slam it open, and over to Max by the car.
"What's wrong? Did someone steal something? Was that-"
She raises a hand and points behind me. I turn, to see the three Marsh sisters back in their mock-Chloe clothes, with instruments and a proper stand-up microphone - one of the weird radio-looking metal ones you only see in really fancy performances. I wonder faintly where they got a full-size drumkit. Then Lynn, the tiniest drummer I'd ever seen, suddenly yells and begins.
I get the song in two notes. Gotta say, I did not expect Cheap Trick from the Marsh kids.
"Mother told me, yes she told me, I'd meet girls like you-" Sarah points to me with a grin.
We watch the full performance. Because what else is there to do. It's brilliant. Lynn is badass, Sarah has a great voice, and Kate looks both reserved and bitchy with her ten-string guitar (and somehow plays both the bass and guitar parts at the same time).
They wrap it up with a bitchin' solo and kick over a pile of boxes. Max sees them ready for more destruction and runs up: "Okay, okay! Stop!"
Both Max and I share looks. "Okay fine, I think we get your point. No more home arrest."
The girls cheer.
One of the neighbours, peering over the garden fence, tuts disappointedly. Max turns to them, "I know, I'm doing my best-"
"No, dear. It's the Marsh children, there's no best for you. Every babysitter, it's the same story. And no agency in the county will send them babysitters. Even that MacAffee woman gave up on them, and she's a legend in childcare. No hope for those girls. They're from bad stock, you know, up in Massachussets."
"Massachussets is bad stock?" This old bat. "Are there some kinda meds you should be taking way more of?"
"No dear. The medication makes me see terrible things, so I don't take it, I give it to my dog. No, they're the Marsh family, and the repercussions of their ancestry last to this day-" The woman pulls herself up like she's about to go on another tirade - you get used to that signal, in this town.
So, I make like a tree and get us all the fuck out of there.
"Right, thanks for the advice neighbour, we'll be sure to take it under advisement," I ramble, shepherding Max into the garage with one arm and quickly closing the door with the other.
Then I turn to the Marshes. "What in the fuck was that?"
They shrug. "She's always been like that. Thinks we're descendants of fish people from Massachussets."
"You what?"
"Yeah," Sarah said, "You heard her about the meds. I'm really not sure where she gets it from."
"Weird."
"Yep."
"Huh."
—
I roll over in bed and grin at Max. "Fish people!"
She rolls her eyes. "Rich people are so weird. Now, go to sleep already. Only one more day."
[END OF ACT II]
—
AN1 - This is the song the Marshes were doing.
(Youtube URL) / watch?v=T_Km11HNzUY
