I went back and forth over and over again when it came to this chapter, I think for maybe almost 2 months. When I was writing it, I didn't expect it to be the last chapter. I remember being in shock because this book is my pride and joy. I had planned on doing more for this book, but by the time I was finishing the end of this chapter, I realized I had also written the end of the book. It had just wrapped up so nicely and naturally. Everything must come to an end one way or another, and I'm glad this story is ending on my time, on my terms.
Despite that, I still mourn the end of this book, but there is also joy in remembering how much you all love this book. Thank you all for supporting this book the way you have. The support ya'll have given me is like nothing I've ever experienced while writing. You encourage me to keep writing the books I want to get officially published (if/when that happens, you all will be the first to know). You remind me why I write. I write for you, but I also write for myself. And this is the ending I want, for me.
Thank you for joining me on this journey lasting over FOUR YEARS. I've loved every single minute of it. Please enjoy this last chapter. There will be an epilogue to come as well as some bonus chapters. Please let me know if there are any requests for bonus chapters. Enjoy.
-Kai
Loki's POV
"Good morning, love," I whispered to the still-sleeping woman as I ran the cool cloth over her fever-flushed cheeks. She didn't stir as I continued my ministrations, but her breath was steady and strong, if not a little wheezy from the remnants of the pneumonia she had developed. "It's a new day, my little dove," I said to her despite knowing my words fell on deaf ears. "It's a new day, and I would love to see your beautiful eyes, sweetheart. Your beautiful, beautiful eyes," I whispered as I brushed back a (H/C) strand from her forehead.
It had been four days since we had rescued her from that filthy cell. She had been so still and lifeless in my arms, the only thing telling me she was alive was her jagged breathing. Her chest had crackled with fluid each and every time she drew in a breath. I couldn't imagine the undeniable pain she had been in. And her breathing wasn't even the worst of it. The wound she had sustained to her side was unlike anything I had ever seen before. I had experienced my fair share of infected wounds while under Thanos' control, but he had also known I was no use for him dead. The Dark Elves had clearly wished for her to suffer. As soon as we had arrived back on Asgard, Thor and I took the unconscious woman to the medical wing of the castle where Mother and Eir immediately began their work with the Soul Forge.
While her lungs were much clearer and her wound under control, there was still a long way to go in terms of her recovery. And that was only the physical wounds. She had been away from me for just over a week, but that was more than enough time to do the mental and emotional damage. I had heard only a few sentences of what that Dark Elven soldier had said to her. Part of me was grateful that she was mostly like to inebriated to understand what he was saying, what he was insinuating, that day. The creature was the scum of the earth and there was a dark part of me that was upset with Natasha for finishing him off before I could get to him.
It took everything in me not to stand up and throw the chair back against the wall behind me. I wanted to throw things, scream in rage and pain, track down those fuckers that had dared harm my wife, anything to express my emotions, but I knew that wouldn't help the situation at hand. Instead, I squeezed the life out of the wet cloth as I wrung it out over the bowl of water sitting on the table next to (Y/N)'s bed. I let out a deep sigh and ran a hand through my messy hair.
"Loki, darling?" I heard the soft voice of my mother say. I turned and found her standing in the doorway of the healing room where (N/N) was staying for the time being. I wanted to move her back to our own room as soon as she was stable enough. She would be more comfortable there.
"Hello, Mother," I greeted as I turned back to my wife and took one of her hands in my own. I brought her pale, frail hand to my lips and pressed a gentle kiss to the back of her hand. I held her hand in both of mine, holding her hand by my face as I watched her peaceful face. At least she appeared pain-free for the time being. That at least brought me my own little bit of peace.
I felt my mother place a gentle hand on my shoulder, but I couldn't bring myself to tear my gaze away from (Y/N)'s sleeping face. She had been gone from me for too long. I had almost lost her. I was never going to take a moment with her for granted again. Even as gods, our time together was limited, and I wasn't going to let another moment go to waste.
"The Avengers are preparing for their journey back to Midgard, and I believe they would all like to bid farewell to the both of you," my mother explained gently. "I can send your regards or you can go out to meet them or they can come see you both. It's entirely up to you," she offered. I appreciated that she allowed the choice up to me, both my and my wife's privacy up to me. As much as I wanted to keep my wife away from the world, especially in such a vulnerable state, I knew how close she had grown with some of the members of the team during our time on Midgard. I knew if she were awake right now she would want to see them, and she would no doubt scold me later if she found out I had refused their presence.
"Let them in. I know she would want to wish them safe travels," I told her. The hand on my shoulder squeezed gently once before it disappeared, and I heard her footsteps leave the room. Only a few minutes later, there was a knock on the doorframe. I turned and found Natasha standing in the doorway, a small, sad smile on her face. I could both see and hear the other Avengers behind her. I kept (Y/N)'s hand in one of my own and waved her over to (Y/N)'s bedside.
"She's a fighter, Loki," Natasha said as she placed her hand on my shoulder where my mother had laid hers just a few minutes ago. I nodded, but couldn't bring myself to say anything. "I'll see you both soon." She said it like it was a promise. She brushed her lithe fingers through my wife's hair before leaving silently.
The other Avengers all made their appearance as they filtered in and out of the room. Rhodey, Bucky, and Sam had offered words of encouragement and gently patted me on the back. Scott and Clint had both squeezed (Y/N)'s hand and whispered her words of fatherly encouragement. Peter had even come in and hugged me. I apologized to the young man about how roughly I had pushed him aside in the Dark Elven dungeons, but he just hugged me again and told me not to worry about it. Steve and Tony were the last to enter the room.
"Keep us updated on her recovery," Steve requested kindly.
"You're both welcome at the Tower whenever you would like," Tony added.
"Thank you for your help," I told the two men. "You helped my wife and me even after everything that happened in New York, and I don't deserve it. There's nothing I can do to make up for what I did, and there's nothing I can do to return the kindness you extended to (Y/N) and me. I am forever in your debt," I told them earnestly. There was nothing I could do or say that would ever justify my actions in New York or make those actions go away, but I wanted the two men to know just how grateful I was for their underserved kindness.
"I used to think that people couldn't change, and you proved me wrong, Reindeer Games," Tony said with a small smirk. "Just take care of your wife and keep us updated on her recovery," he reminded me.
"Loki," Steve began, and I looked over at the blue-eyed man. "You never have to thank us for our help. We would do it a hundred times over," he said sincerely. "And I know the man who attacked New York is not the man who fought for his wife's safety. If I were to call you a monster for what happened, I would be calling Bucky a monster too," he explained. I couldn't help but be shocked by his sudden vulnerability. "It wasn't his fault, and it wasn't your fault. You were both victims, and no one can put the blame on you."
I didn't have the words to respond, but Steve didn't seem to mind. He only sent me one last smile before clapping me gently on the shoulder. Tony smiled at me as well and gave me a mock salute before the two men left the room.
I sniffled against the tears that were welling up in my eyes as I turned back to my wife. I took the hand closest to me in both of mine again and continued my silent vigil by my wife's side, ruminating on Steve's kind with a new sort of hope in my heart.
LINE BREAK
(Y/N)'s POV
Consciousness came in fits and starts. The world around me was gray and blurry. It felt like there was a dense smog covering my eyes, my head and body feeling like the static I had seen on Midgardian television. The static feeling was vaguely similar to pins and needles, but the sensation had an odd numbness to it. During my meager moments of vague awareness, there were no distinctive sounds, just a gentle consistent humming. It didn't change in pitch or volume. It was like the buzzing of a beehive.
When consciousness finally decided to join my body for good, the experience was striking. The world had come into focus so quickly that it was staggering. It felt as if everything was dialed up to eleven. Every possible sensation and minute sound was that much louder and that much more overwhelming. It was horrible and grating on my overstimulated system.
There was a sharp throbbing in my side which was accompanied by a pounding in my head. My entire body felt weak and exhausted. It felt as though my chest rattled every time I drew in a breath. All in all, I was very uncomfortable, and the mental task of trying to analyze my surroundings and make sense of the confusion was not helping the matter.
This hurts far too much to be Vahalla and not enough to be Hel, I found myself thinking as I stared up at the white expanse above me. It took me several moments to process the fact that I was staring up at a ceiling. There was a familiar quality about it, and though I was remaining conscious for longer than I had previously, my mind was still a foggy mess.
There was a gentle rumbling coming somewhere from my right. For the first few moments after I acknowledged it, the sound resembled a gentle murmur. It was familiar and soothing, but it took a few moments for my foggy brain to recognize it as a voice, a very familiar voice.
"Lady. Thrice noble lord, let me entreat of you. To pardon me yet for a night or two; Or if not so, until the sun be set. For your physicians have expressly charged, In peril to incur your former malady, That I should yet absent me from your bed. I hope this reason stands for my excuse."
My brows furrowed as I stared up at the ceiling above me, attempting to make sense of the words filtering through my ears. For as familiar as the voice was, I had no clue what they were talking about.
"Sly. Ay, it stands so that I may hardly tarry so long; but I would be loath to fall into my dreams again. I will therefore tarry in despite of the flesh and the blood. Enter a messenger."
Oh, I thought as it finally clicked with the introduction of a stage direction. Someone is reading a play. I wonder what play it is. It doesn't sound familiar.
Curious now, I turned my head to the sound. My breath caught in my throat as I laid eyes on my husband who was sitting next to me. He was in his soft night clothes, and his hair was wet, presumably from a recent shower. He was leaning back against the headboard of the bed we were sitting in, his legs stretched out in front of him with his ankles crossed, the position he assumed every time he read a book in bed. A quick glance around the room told me we were in our room.
So I was in Valhalla with my husband then. But I was still hurting. I had been told worldly ailments would be no more in the eternal life of gods and kings. Apparently, everyone who said this had all been wrong, very wrong. And we were even allowed to have a room that looked exactly like it had on Asgard. It was a comforting thought.
The man next to me didn't waver in his reading as he ran a finger down the page in time with eyes, a habit I had noticed in our early days of marriage. For a few minutes, I simply let him read, not wanting to disturb the peace that hung over us. If it were possible, I would be perfectly fine with living off the sound of his voice alone. I took a deep breath and let out a content sigh as I closed my eyes and relaxed fully into the bed behind me. I was still so exhausted and in a decent amount of pain. But I would take the pain if it meant I could spend eternity with my husband.
"(Y/N)?" I heard my husband ask, and I opened my still weary eyes to find him staring down at me, his eyes as wide as saucers. I opened my mouth to try to speak but found my throat was raw and dry. In a split second, I went from resting peacefully, albeit in a little pain, to all but hacking up a lung, my chest rattling, side throbbing, and head pounding.
"Easy, love. Easy. Calm down, and breathe for me, my love," Loki soothed as he gently lifted me into a sitting position, propping me up against his strong chest. "You're alright. You're alright. Just breathe." I certainly didn't feel alright. I was in pain, I was tired, I was confused, and I couldn't breathe for the love of the Norns. Had I really ended up in Hel? What in the Norns had I done to end up here?
"Here, (Y/N). Drink this; it will help." A cold glass was being placed against my lips and tilted back just enough to let some water trickle into my mouth, helping the sandpaper feeling in my mouth and throat, but not by much. It at least helped to settle my coughing. "There, easy. Just breathe for me. Relax. I'm here. I'm here now, my little dove."
I let out a slow breath and closed my eyes for a moment, trying to regain my composure. My head, chest, and side now hurt even more than when I had initially woken up. It was edging on unbearable but not quite. I was too preoccupied with figuring out what the Hel was going on. The pain could wait for now.
"(Y/N), are you okay?" Loki asked after a moment, a hand coming up to gently rub against my sternum. I took another deep breath and nodded. I leaned back so my head was resting on my husband's shoulder. From this position, I could look up and see his face. To my dismay, his eyes were filled with tears, threatening to spill down his pale cheeks any moment now.
"Loki?" I whispered. "I'm here now," I said, and that was all it took for the dam to break. Tears cascaded down my husband's face in torrents, sobs wracking his chest as he leaned down to bury his face in my hair. With what little strength I possessed, I lifted one hand up to rest it against the back of his head, keeping him close to me.
After a few minutes of heavy crying, Loki gathered himself. He sat up and my hand fell from the back of his head. There were still tears pooling in his eyes, but he seemed to have regained most of his composure, enough to hold back the tears anyway.
"Norns, I'm so glad you're okay. I don't know what I would have done without you," he said, his voice still quivering with withheld tears. "When we found you in that dungeon I feared the worst. You were so pale and still. I thought you were dead. I thought I was too late. I was almost too late." He sucked in a breath like he was withholding a sob.
"What?" I asked, even more confused now. "We-we're not in Valhalla?" I asked, my voice quiet and unsure. Loki looked stricken.
"Gods, no. Why in Odin's name would we be in Valhalla?" he asked incredulously.
"Th-they told me y-you were dead," I managed, my eyes wide in confusion as I looked up at my husband. "I-I-I thought when you came for me…" I trailed off, unable to continue, but the look in Loki's eyes told me he understood.
"Oh, my love," he sobbed as he turned me slightly so I was lying on my uninjured side, my face in the crook of my husband's neck. He pulled me into a firm but gentle embrace, mindful of my still-healing wounds. "My beautiful, beautiful love. We're both here. We're both alive. We're in the palace. We're home. We're home."
Before I knew what was happening, I found myself crying alongside my husband. I wasn't sure why I was crying, relief maybe. Joy. Love. For whatever reason it may be, both Loki and I were cuddled up in our bed in the palace on Asgard, right where we should be, and I couldn't be more thankful. I had almost said goodbye to this life. Had I gone when I thought I had greeted Loki at Valhalla's gates, I would have left him alone. Norns, I had almost left him alone. Thank the gods I had contained just enough strength to stay by his side, right where I needed to be.
As he held me, he stroked my hair with a gentle hand and whispered sweet nothings in my ears. I couldn't make out most of what he was saying over the sound of both of us crying, but it didn't matter. Just the gentle rumble of his voice was enough to bring comfort. I could hear the low rumble of his voice in my ears and feel the vibrations in his chest and throat from where I was snuggled up next to him.
We both cried for a good while before we finally regained our composure, Loki achieving that goal before I could. Like the fantastic husband he was, he continued to hold me until I stopped, either too tired to continue or too dehydrated to produce any more tears. Either of those reasons was perfectly plausible. Neither of us said a word, too busy relishing in the presence of the other. Norns, I had missed this man so much.
"Now I understand why I still hurt so bad," I muttered against his chest a few minutes later. "I knew something wasn't right. Hurt too much to be Valhalla and not enough to be Hel."
"If you're trying to joke with me right now, it's not funny," he growled, but there was no malice in his voice, just relief. I didn't speak, just smiled and relaxed further into my husband's comforting embrace. "Come here," he muttered before I was gently readjusted to a position in which my husband could reach my lips with his own.
He kissed me slow and gentle, just like he had done the first time in that quaint little port town. His cold lips were soft and sweet, just as they had been on that balcony. This kiss was full of love. It wasn't heated or desperate, but it wasn't missing any passion. It was perfect.
When the kiss ended, we leaned back slightly but not very far, not wanting to stray far from each other. I kept my forehead pressed to his, and I could feel his warm breath on my face. He brought his hand up to cup my face, his hand blissfully cool against my flushed skin. A smile grew across my lips, finally back in the arms of the person I loved most.
"It's good to have you back, my dear. I love you more than you could ever know," he whispered.
"I love you too, Loki. Forever and always."
