"Oh my." A voice as Xander and Cordelia materialized. "That's quite impressive. Not even Grandmama could do that." The two turned to see a woman, tall, slim in a black dress that clung to every curve and had a plunging neckline. The dress swept the floor and was so form fitting she nearly shuffled as she walked towards them, somehow managing to look graceful as she did. "I'm Morticia Addams, welcome to my home. Are you witches or wizards?"
"We don't consider ourselves either, ma'am." Xander said politely. "Just people with power." Wondering if she'd believe him or think he was crazy. Maybe she was crazy, after all she'd just welcomed them into her home, where they'd mysteriously materialized. "I'm Alexander McCleod, people call me Xander and this is my girlfriend, Cordelia Chase. We didn't mean to materialize in your home, ma'am. Our aim seems to be a little off."
"It's fine, we don't get many visitors. We were about to sit down for supper, you're welcome to join us. Oh my, what an adorable creature. Is he suitably vicious?"
"We've only had him for a couple of days." Cordelia replied. "Except for chewing on socks, he hasn't done anything that could be described as vicious."
"Well, he's still a baby. I'm sure he'll grow up nice and strong. He certainly has a nice set of teeth. Come, I'll introduce you to the rest of the family."
"Just smile, Cordy. We may have landed in an insane asylum. Until we know for sure, let's just go along and remember we can leave anytime we want to."
"That's so sweet of you to compare our home to an insane asylum." Morticia said, as she led them through the house. They heard a roar as they walked.
"What was that?" Xander asked.
"My son Pugsley's pet jaguar. It's feeding time."
"Your son's name is Pugsley?" Cordelia asked.
"Yes, I admit it's a bit pretentious, but the Addams do have to maintain a certain place within society and such a name reflects that. Ah, this is my dear husband, Gomez. Gomez, come met our new friends. This is Xander McCleod and his girlfriend, Cordelia Chase. They just appeared by Magic in the living room."
"As I was explaining to your wife." Xander said. "I'm afraid it was unintentional. We don't have alot of control over where we land."
"That makes it more fun." Gomez told him. "Imagine materializing in a relaxing lava pool, for instance."
"Gomez dear, they paid us the sweetest complement. They said our home may be an insane asylum."
"That is awfully nice of you to say." Gomez thanked him. "We do try. Children, we have guests." Gomez addressed two children, a boy and a girl, who were arguing over who got to play with the knife they were holding.
"This is our daughter, Wednesday."
"Was she born on a Wednesday?" Cordelia asked.
"No, a Friday." Morticia said. "I just liked the name. And this is Uncle Fester and Grandmama. Grandmama is our witch. Our new friends do Magic too, Grandmama." Morticia said.
"How nice to see more youngsters taking an interest in the old arts. So many these days seemed to have forgotten our roots."
Morticia pulled a rope and the house seemed to shake as a deep gong sounded. "You rang." A very tall, blank faced man intoned.
"Please set two extra places at the table, Lurch. We have guests for supper tonight."
He turned slowly and moved away.
Xander pulled out a chair for Cordelia and then sat in the chair beside her. The very tall Lurch returned and set two more plates on the table. Bubbling pots and strange looking food sat on the table.
"Just remember." Xander said softly. "I don't stay dead and you don't die."
Cordelia gulped and carefully ate some of the food which, while it did taste a little strange, wasn't bad.
"I say old man." Gomez said to Xander. "Do you fence?"
"I can use a sword and a variety of axes. But actual fencing wasn't something my foster father or father taught me."
"Oh that's too bad, I enjoy fencing a great deal. Grandmama has always been fond of the battle ax herself."
"My original weapon of choice was a double grip single bladed ax." Xander told him. "I branched into other forms after that. Cordelia uses daggers that she can convert into a double bladed staff and a bow and arrows."
"My mother gave me the bow and arrows." Cordelia told them. "Hunting is a favorite sport of hers."
"Isn't it of everyone?" Fester asked.
Once the strange meal was concluded Gomez invited Xander to see his model train set.
"Sure, I always wanted a model train set." Of course, it was rather surreal watching Gomez crash his trains. Then Fester wandered in.
"Morticia and Cordelia are discussing art." Fester said. "Which I find boring. Xander, do you like blowing things up?"
"I blew my High School up on graduation day. Does that count?"
"Any fatalities?" Gomez asked absently.
"Three and one declared missing." Xander answered, As he followed Fester out to the explosives area. Xander couldn't help it, cue maniacal laughter as he blew something up.
Later, he went looking for Cordelia.
"Cordy, I'm afraid our mental health break is coming to an end. We need to get going."
"I guess we do. Your artwork is beautiful, Morticia. I really do think you should show it. It deserves to be admired."
"Thank you. I will think about it. I'm sorry to see you go. We've had a lovely visit."
A sudden scrambling noise had them looking at the door as a lion, of all things, came running into the room and hid behind Morticia's chair. "Kitty Kat? What's wrong?" She asked, as Cordy's 'baby' came wandering in. She gently picked him up and both she and Xander looked at the innocent looking baby that might be a hyena cub and then at the cowering lion. Neither said a thing, Xander just took Cordelia's hand in his and pressed the button on the control device. An electric tingle and the world shifted.
