He goes through the next week with a foreign kind of giddiness inhabiting his chest. The mixture of being in love and the sensation of knowing it is for the last time. He's spent the past month in a kind of winter wonderland falling in love with Kate Beckett, the past week and a half consisting of staying in her cabin and having her come over to his for dinners and old Christmas movies his mother loves.
He isn't ignorant, he knows reality will crash back over them when they return to the city, when they leave the bubble of the wooded town where they both sought separate refuge and found each other. But they're both realistic and with every morning that she wakes up beside him, she proves to him that she is committed to making what they have work.
"I'm afraid you're not going to be able to sneak past my mom this morning," Castle winces, staring out his bedroom window at the thick sleet coming down. He remembers talk of a blizzard on the news, a minor one that should only last a day or two, but had the potential to knock out the power and strand anyone not careful enough to plan ahead.
Kate sits up in his bed, hugging the sheet to her chest and frowning at the heavy snowfall visible past the curtain he holds aside.
"She calls my dad's cabin the love nest," Kate huffs, dragging the sheet with her as she crawls out of bed, shuffles across the room to observe the incoming storm with him. "I don't think she'll be shocked I've spent a few nights here as well."
"The relative privacy was nice while it lasted," he sighs, grinning when she wraps her arms around him from behind. Her cheek seals to his robed shoulder blade and he twines his fingers with hers over his torso.
The quiet of the moment is interrupted by the buzz of his phone, rattling across the nightstand.
"Probably Alexis, she was the one who tried to tell me it might blizzard sometime this week," he sighs and Kate disentangles from him to trot back to the bed, snag the phone for him. But she pauses when she stops beside the nightstand, her brow crinkling.
"Who is Smith?"
Castle's heart goes still, freezing in his chest like the temperatures outside. He crosses the room and grabs the phone, picks up the call.
"Castle," he answers, feeling Kate's eyes on him, scrutinizing.
"Mr. Castle," Smith greets, his voice smooth and low. "I hear you and Detective Beckett have reunited."
Rick swallows. "We have."
"Good, better you keep close to keep her in line," Smith announces. "I am only calling to inform you she remains off the radar, but it would benefit you to remember that I can't control the situation if you can't control her. I'm sure you know of her little escapade to the city a month ago, her free fall from the roof."
He feels himself paling, feels Kate's confusion, suspicion, and anxiety intensifying beside him. "I do."
"They taught her a lesson. That's how they see it. See that she has actually learned."
The lines goes dead and Castle lowers the phone from his ear, squeezes his eyes shut.
"Rick." His name is uncertain on her tongue. "Who was that?"
"He… he calls himself Smith," Castle begins, opening his eyes to meet the darkening of hers. "He's someone Montgomery trusted. Before he went into that hangar, he sent a package to him."
Kate's knees bend and she lowers slowly to the bed, no longer staring at him, but straight ahead at nothing.
"It contained information damaging to the person behind all this. Montgomery was trying to protect you. But the package didn't arrive until after you'd been shot," he reveals, watching her throat spasm through a hard swallow, her fingers rising absentmindedly to the bullet hole visible above the slipping sheet. "Montgomery's friend… he struck a deal with them. If they left you alone, the package and the information inside would never see the light of day. But they made one condition - you had to back off. And that's the reason you're alive, Kate, because you stopped. You left the city and her case alone."
When she finally looks at him, her eyes are glittering with moisture and guarded. "Are you a part of this?"
Castle immediately shakes his head, raises his hands in defense. "No, no, love, I swear I was just trying to keep you safe."
"By lying to me about the most important thing in my life?" she rasps, glaring up at him.
"I didn't - I didn't have to lie to you. You were gone and the last thing I was going to do was reach out and lure you back to the city with a lead that would end your life. That lie was the only thing that was protecting you, Kate."
"Castle, I didn't need protection. I needed a lead, and you sat on it for over a year," she gets out, one of her arms wrapping around her body, her shoulders hunching, her entire being becoming untouchable. "But Smith… who is he? How do I find him?"
"He's a voice on the phone," Castle confesses. "That's all I know. He calls me once a month, updates me-"
"You've been in contact with him the entire time?" she cuts in, rising to her feet. "How do you know that he's not behind my mom's murder? How do you know that he's not involved? And how the hell could you do this?"
"Because I love you," he growls, but it's defeated, worthless even as the words leave his lips. "You know I love you. You've always known. Even the entire goddamn year you were gone, I loved you, Kate. And I would do anything to protect you. Anything to stop you from throwing your life away."
Her cheeks are wet, but she squares her jaw in defiance of the tears. "This is my life, Rick. Mine. You don't get to decide."
He feels his nostrils flare in frustration and glares back at her. "If you go back to the city, dive back into your mother's case, they are gonna decide. They're gonna come for you, Kate. You think that's what your mom would want for you?"
"My mom would want justice," she snaps, fisting her fingers in the wrinkled fabric of his sheets. "And I'm not going to let them scare me away from giving her that. Not anymore."
"You told me you were done," he fires back. "You told me you woke up on that fire escape after being thrown off of a roof, and wanted more. I told you we would do this together-"
"While you talk to Mr. Smith behind my back?" she hisses, the ache in her eyes piercing through every inch of his heart. "Is this how partners work, Rick?"
"I'm sorry," he finally says, watching her eyes shutter closed. "Kate. I'm sorry, please, just - don't do this. Don't-"
"Maybe we this - maybe we aren't any good for each other," she whispers, her thumb pressing hard into the scar between her breasts. "Maybe we were never meant to do anything other than ruin each other."
"That isn't true," he argues, but she isn't listening to him anymore. "You know it isn't."
Brushing past him, Kate gathers her clothes from the floor, tugging a sweater over her head, jeans, socks, and boots on.
"Kate," he sighs, but she ignores him, yanking open the bedroom door and storming toward the front door. He curses to himself and quickly pulls on his own clothes, hearing the door slam shut.
Martha's head pokes out from her room, her eyes wide, not even pretending to have no idea what's going on. "Richard, go after her!"
"I am trying," he growls, jerking a t-shirt over his head and stepping into his snow boots. He trips as he races down the hall, but manages to stumble out of the cabin in time to find her attempting to clear her windshield of the pelting snow piled up there.
He shudders at the greeting of ice hitting him in the face, the intense return of the cold to his body reminding him all too easily of his time in the lake.
"Kate!" She jerks instinctively, her body always on edge, but eases a little at the sight of him coming toward her. But does not stop her efforts to clear her car of snow. "You can't be out here."
She ignores him, cracking the ice from her car door with a hard yank just as he reaches her.
"Kate." He grabs her by the arm and she shoves at his chest, gasping on a quiet sob. She looks so devastated, so heartbroken, and so very tired. "I just wanted to keep you safe. I didn't mean to - I shouldn't have lied. I just…" He holds his hands out, palms skyward, and lets them fall to his sides. "I love you."
She's nodding as the tears spill down her cheeks. She lets go of the door and lets the tug of his arm reel her in. He buries his freezing fingers in her hair, holds her tightly against his chest as her body shudders with the cold and the rattle of her sobs.
"We will get justice for her, I swear," he promises over the growing roar of the wind.
She surprises him, the stiffness of her frame loosening to burrow closer, to exhale a shaking breath against his neck.
"Just not today." Her voice is an echo in the howling wind. "Not like this."
"Will you two come fight inside like a normal couple?" Martha shouts over the storm, her cast a bright pink beacon in the violent snow globe surrounding them. "You're going to freeze to death!"
Kate startles into stepping forward, her arm still tangled in Castle's, pulling him along after her.
"I can give you space," he assures her as they start back toward the house, trudging through the few feet with great effort. "I know you might need time and I can give you that."
"No," she tells him once they reach the door, stomping the snow from her boots, but cutting swollen eyes up to him. "I just need to move forward with no more secrets. And with my partner."
"Good." Castle nods and walks into the warmth of the cabin with her, ignoring the scolding gaze of his mother. "Because that's what I need too."
Kate stays snowed in with him and Martha throughout the two days of the storm, texting back and forth with her therapist when she's unable to maintain a reliable enough internet connection to schedule an appointment.
She walks him through the last month, explains the developments with Castle, the good and the bad, and does her best to let go of the resentment that spread like wildfire in her chest the moment she saw Smith appear on Castle's phone. He promised her no more secrets and she believes him, she really does. That doesn't change the fear sitting like a block of ice refusing to melt in her stomach. She had no idea he was involved, that anyone from that underworld of her life was contacting him, and now she's terrified more than ever before that now they will come after him with just as much vigor as they seek her.
That the dragon will slaughter them both.
He has been speaking with Smith for over a year now. Your knowledge changes nothing, doesn't make him more vulnerable. No one's tomorrow is guaranteed, but for now, both you and Rick are safe.
She reads the message from Burke over and over again like a mantra, willing herself to believe it.
"Hey." Castle is in the doorway of thei- his bedroom, eyes wary and roaming over her figure sitting criss-cross in the middle of his bed with her phone cradled in her lap. "Do you need some time? You really don't have to do this, Kate, it's-"
"No," she replies, dropping her phone to the comforter and sliding from the mattress. She pauses in front of him, curving her hand at his forearm and tilting her chin to kiss him. The tension in his shoulders eases a fraction and he nuzzles his nose to her cheek, coaxing a grin to her lips. "I want to do this, Castle. And your mom is already so excited."
"She's been drinking, she's excitable regardless."
"Castle," she huffs, nudging his shoulder to move past him.
He follows as she pads down the hall in a pair of fuzzy socks Martha gave her, entering the living area to find his mother sorting through a haul of ornaments. She and Castle picked them out from the supermarket in town a couple of weeks ago, when Martha decided that she must have a more festive home for Christmas.
"There you two are!"
"You stay away from any ladders," Castle announces, skirting past Kate to stand in front of the step stool positioned beside the pre-lit tree. They bought that sometime after their arrival as well, upon Martha's insistence that she finish what she started. "It's Christmas Eve-Eve, why are we doing this again?"
"Richard, since when are you a Scrooge?" Martha admonishes, swatting him with a piece of garland when he places a peck on her cheek. "Just because it will only be up for a few days doesn't mean it won't be nice!"
"Yeah, babe, don't be such a Scrooge," Kate teases from across the room, unfurling a spool of ribbon, but Castle arches his brow at her.
"Babe, huh?" he muses, strolling back toward her. "That's new."
She shrugs, hiding the embarrassment she can feel climbing up her throat with the cover of her hair. "Do you prefer kitten?"
He narrows his gaze. "Beckett, just because you know how to make me purr-"
Kate presses two fingers to his lips and flicks her eyes to his mom. She has a feeling Martha is paying acute attention, but - like always - the woman graciously pretends not to, securing hooks onto the red and gold globes.
"Then don't call me kitten. We talked about this, years ago actually."
She rolls her eyes and lifts her finger to his nose instead, tapping playfully. "Punish me later."
A spark ignites in the blue heat of his gaze and she shifts closer to Martha before he can do anything about it.
Kate helps them hang ornaments and listens to mother and son recall all of their dazzling Christmas memories. Part of her hangs on every word, grateful to hear of a past she was not around for, but a nostalgic kind of melancholy lingers too. A piece of her that yearns for Christmases with her own family, what they used to be like.
Castle must sense it in that weird way of his, brushing comforting knuckles to her spine when he reaches past her to hang an ornament next to hers, or hooking an arm around her waist and hoisting her up when she was just shy of a branch she wanted. She laughed more than she has in years, especially so close to Christmas.
"Usually, we have a little angel with Alexis's second grade class picture taped over the face," Castle explains, unwrapping the star from its box and handing it to Kate. "But this makes a pretty good substitute."
"I shouldn't," she murmurs, pressing the tree topper back into his hands, but Castle pouts at her.
"I would do it if I could, darling." Martha frowns down at her arm, now free from its cast and cradled by a brand new sling. "But alas, the topper is what took me down in the first place. It's too risky for an old broad like myself."
"Come on," Castle chimes in, nudging the step stool closer to the tree and offering her his hand. "I'll keep you steady."
Kate sighs and takes his hand, climbs onto the stool to reach the top of the tree. Castle's palms brace her hips while she does, hooking his thumbs in the belt loops of her jeans.
She adjusts the star until it sits securely on the top of the tree and connects it with the other lights so that it casts a soft glow of gold.
"Oh, it's marvelous!" Martha applauds, clasping her hands together beneath her chin.
Castle's arms slide around her waist and Kate turns, smiling at his surprise when she folds her arms around his neck, lets him lift her from the stool and spin her around. She's laughing, kissing him as he sets her feet back on the ground, so engrossed in him that she doesn't even hear the knocking on the door or the clicking of it open.
"Told you it would be fun," he chuckles, staining a quick kiss between her brows before he lets her go.
Kate finds her balance and turns her head at the sound of Martha's gasp, feeling her heart stutter to a stop.
Alexis stands in the doorway with red hair like fire and the ice of accusation sparkling in her eyes.
"Dad?"
