First mate's log:

October 9, 1973

Ginger and the Professor brought their kids over to the Pizza Parlor this past weekend, so we could meet Dwayne and Steve. They seem like good kids, and the Hinkley family seems happier, more complete. Yeah, they don't look like each other, but who cares? OK, they did get some funny looks when they came in, but some of that might just have been because Ginger is a celebrity.

I liked how all three boys called me Uncle Gilligan, and my wife Aunt Mary Ann. We are all a family, even if the Hinkleys live on another island.


Carol Brady's diary:

October 10, 1973

Mi marido quiere que aprenda español. Mike has a new client, Mr. Calderon, who lives in Mexico but has heard of Mike's work. Mike met with him on Blenford yesterday. Mike would've called me about it but Greg was tying up the phone.

(He has a Friday date with a new girl named Sandra, but her female cousin is visiting. Linda, yes, another "Linda," is about Sandra's age. Sandra promised she would keep her company, so Greg is trying to line up a double date. The last I heard, he still hasn't had any luck, since all his friends have plans that night.)

Mr. Calderon speaks English, but Mike hasn't met Mrs. Calderon yet and doesn't know if she does. The two of us are going to have dinner with them Saturday night, so I've only got a few days to teach myself Spanish. I took it in college but, well, that was over fifteen years ago.

It's tempting to write my diary entries in Spanish, but it would take far too long, and my basic phrasebook definitely doesn't cover everything.


October 11, 1973

For the first time in a long while, Peter asked me for romantic advice. Greg has set him up on a double date. It's with Greg's date Sandra's eighteen-year-old cousin! And Peter hasn't even turned fifteen yet.

"Won't it bother her to go out with Greg's kid bruh— I mean younger brother?"

"Well, we're not going to tell her that. He figures it's just for one night, tomorrow night. I'm going to pretend to be Phil Packer and I'm a senior at Blenford High."

"Who's Phil Packer?"

"Just a name Greg made up."

I thought of Jan's "boyfriend" George Glass. I said, "How do you expect to get away with it?"

"Well, like I said, it's only for one night. And I bought a mustache at the Blenford Novelty Shop so I can look older."

"Uh, I guess that would help."

"Yeah, but even if I can pass for seventeen or eighteen, I've hardly dated at all, and definitely not a girl that old. Can you tell me how to act around Linda?"

"Why are you asking me?"

"Well, didn't Ginger used to flirt with you? I was just a little boy then but I kind of remember it. And she's gotta be at least three or four years older than you."

"Uh, yeah." Ginger's heaviest flirting, and kissing, was never done in front of the kids, but I guess even the preschoolers might've noticed something. But it's not like I was ever trying to get her affection. She just gave it to me, usually because she wanted something for herself or Mr. Howell. "I would say just be yourself, but I guess that's not gonna work if you're Phil."

"Right."

"Uh, well, just play it cool, don't try too hard."

He nodded, although I'm sure that's easier said than done, especially when he's so nervous. I don't know why Greg is doing this though. Is it a prank on the girls, or on Peter? Or could he just not find another guy to go on a blind date? I've never been on a blind date, but I guess if the Skipper had ever fixed me up, I would've gone along with it, but been nervous, no matter what age the girl was.

At least the four of them are going to see a Western, so Peter probably won't have to talk much during the movie. Yeah, I hope his voice doesn't crack.


October 12, 1973

I'm getting better at Spanish. I think I can at least get through basic conversation, especially if Mr. Calderon helps tomorrow night. I was able to tell Mike in a combination of English and Spanish that Greg is fixing up Linda with a boy named Phil Packer, whom I've never met because he lives on Blenford. (Greg knows some kids on the bigger island, from sports and concerts and so on.) I'm glad it worked out, since the double date is tonight, at the dive-in.


October 13, 1973

Wow, Peter made a bigger hit with Linda than I ever could've imagined! The date last night went well enough that there was another double date, this time at the Pizza Parlor. But it looked like Greg's date, Sandra, was interested in Peter, too. I didn't hear the whole conversation, since I was waiting tables, but both pretty girls were listening in fascination as "Phil" talked about some football game he claimed he won for Blenford High. And I noticed them sitting really close to Peter, and arguing about who would get to kiss him and find out if his mustache tickled.

Unfortunately, Peter's parents noticed, too. I got a little nervous when I saw them come in with an older couple I didn't recognize. I thought about trying to distract them, but I was worried I'd just make it worse. I saw Greg, who looked jealous and baffled over the girls, notice his dad around the same time that Mr. Brady noticed his sons and the girls.

All eight of them left soon after, Peter with his mustache in his hand, and Mr. Brady paying both bills, even though I hadn't served the adults pizza yet. I offered to box it up to go, or deliver it later, but he said, "Thank you, but you can just pass it on to your next customers, my treat." And that's what I did.

I hope Peter doesn't get in too much trouble. Well, and Greg, too, since it was his idea to set Peter up with "an older woman." Yeah, they shouldn't have lied to the girls, but I still feel sorry for the boys. Mary Ann missed all this because she was busy in the kitchen, but when I told her later, she said, "It serves them right." I decided not to tell her that I knew about the scheme before the Friday date. We share a lot as a married couple, but some things she's better off not knowing.


October 14, 1973

You'll never guess who "Phil Packer" is! Peter Brady! And Mike and I found out in the worst way, while the boys were on their second double date with Sandra and Linda.

I met the Calderons yesterday evening when they came to our house. It turns out they're both fairly fluent in English, he more than she, because of his international business dealings. They were both happy to practice their English, and that was easier on me and Mike of course.

We had reservations at a very nice Mexican restaurant on Blenford for a couple hours later, but they wanted to try an "authentic American dish." Of course, we're not part of the continental United States, although most of the islanders are from there originally. I couldn't imagine what this dish could be, and then they said it was pizza!

Our daughters came in then, so we introduced them, and they were on their best behavior. (They do have lovely manners, when they're not bickering with each other or their brothers.) They raved about Mary Ann's Pizza Parlor, and I have been meaning to go there more often. I want to support a fellow castaway, especially one as nice and hard-working as Mary Ann. And the food does sound delicious.

I didn't get to find out, because Mr. Calderon noticed teenagers "necking" in the pizzeria! That was pretty shocking, because I thought it had a nice atmosphere, and i certainly wouldn't have let my children, including little Cindy, go there if I knew about any hanky-panky going on. Then it turned out to be two very attractive, and older, girls practically sitting in Peter's lap, as they nuzzled his neck and played with his mustache!

Yes, it was a fake mustache, of course. Peter might have a few stubbly chin whiskers, but he's only fourteen. I had no idea what was going on, but Mike said we should discuss this outside, where it was relatively private. We all headed out, except for Mike who paid both bills before joining us.

Greg explained that he'd been desperate to find a blind date for Linda, so he roped Peter into it. The girls said they figured out that Phil was a fake when they were at the dive-in and he accidentally started eating his mustache while having popcorn. They thought it was a prank, so they decided to get revenge.

All four teens apologized profusely. The Calderons were very gracious about it, but Mike and I still grounded the boys for a week. Linda will be gone after that, and if Sandra still wants to go out with Greg, hopefully they'll be more honest with each other in the future.

Then Mike and I took the Calderons to the restaurant on Blenford, since Mike had forgotten to cancel the reservation. Buena comida, pero ¡qué telenovela!