So this story came to mind while reading Watching the Doctor by RedRobyn2, and I had to write it to get it out of my head. I have added a few of my own characters to the story who will be mentioned in later chapters, but until then I'll be leaving hints for everyone. I hope you like this story, I really didn't want to make this too OOC but I do want to set up an arc that will be explained later.

For now I am writing this on my IPad and don't really have a set schedule for my posting, so I'll update this as I finish each chapter. This story is not beta read so if there are any mistakes they are all mine, until I find a beta I will do my best to make sure I catch any mistakes.


The Doctor sat with her back to the wall, facing the cell doors, a blank look on her face as she thought back to what she has seen on Gallifrey. Thoughts of the "Timeless Child" and faces she has worn, but couldn't remember going through her head. A mother she had never known but had been tortured by. Her whole life, a lie. Who was she? Could she even call herself "The Doctor" anymore? If she looked in a mirror would she see herself or just a nameless stranger?

These thoughts kept swirling around in her head, making her dizzy and even more confused than she already was. She was so sure of herself and her place in the universe before going back to Gallifrey. Before meeting Ruth, Lee and Gat. Lee, a friend? Lover? Spouse? She wished she knew. His and Gat's deaths laid heavy on her conscience. The deaths of all of those still on Gallifrey. Why? Why had they stolen her lives from her? Why did the Master have to show her this?

Suddenly a light appeared inside her cell, distracting her from her thoughts. As she sat up the light moved closer to her almost as if it was trying to get her to come closer.

"What are you?" She whispered, her voice hoarse from disuse. As if reacting to her voice the light brushed past her and moved to the corner of the cell. As she walked towards it a faint whooshing sound, not unlike the TARDIS could be heard coming from the light.

"Well, this is new. I didn't know you could do this old girl. Have you come to break me out?" The doctor smiled and stepped back a few steps. "Right then, let's get a shift on, promised the fam I'd be right behind them. Though I suppose I'm quite a ways behind them by now."

With a deep breath the Doctor closed her eyes and stepped into the light. When she opened her eyes again she found herself standing in a room that looked a lot like a waiting room at a doctors office. She grinned at the comparison and looked around the room, quickly spotting a door off to her left. As she turned to walk to the door a voice behind her stopped her in her tracks.

"Hello, Doctor."

The Doctor spun around with wide eyes, nearly tripling over her own feet. "Sexy! What? How? What?!" The TARDIS smiled and stepped forward with open arms, engulfing the dumbfounded Doctor in a tight hug.

"All good questions, my theif. All which will be answered in due time. But for now we must talk." Came a giggled reply as they pulled away from the hug. "First thing's first, we need to get you cleaned up and back in your usual clothes. Once you've done that, come back into this room and we will talk before I let you know of my plans."

The TARDIS led the Doctor to the door as she opened it the doctor could see her bedroom, exactly as she had left it when River left Darillium. She had taken to sleeping in other rooms on the ship to avoid the memories of the 24 wonderful years she spent with her wife. Walking into the room she could still smell River's perfume, still strong despite the years the room had been unoccupied. At the foot of the bed was her usual outfit, three quarter trousers, her rainbow striped shirt, her coat with rainbows on the lining, and her sonic sitting right on top of the folded pile.

"My sonic! I thought I'd lost this when the guards took my things." She grabbed her sonic and held it close to her chest, tears springing up in her eyes. She reached down to grab her clothes, replicas, they had to be as the prison she was held in burned what she had been wearing when she was processed for holding.

"I wouldn't let that happen, i know how much it means to you." The TARDIS said, "Now, you should get cleaned up. I will be outside when you've finished." The TARDIS walked back into the waiting room and closed the door behind her as she left.

The Doctor walked to the bathroom and hesitantly looked into the mirror. She was quite shocked by what she saw. She had dark circles under her eyes and tear tracks on her cheeks, her hair was tangled and greasy. She was a mess, she looked tired and worn. As she looked into her eyes she couldn't recognize herself, it felt like she was looking at a picture of a stranger. With a sigh the Doctor turned away from the mirror and set her clothes down on the counter before turning on the shower.


Stepping out of the bedroom and back into the waiting room, the Doctor saw the TARDIS sitting at a table laid out with food and tea. "There's my Doctor." She said with a soft smile and a gesture for the Doctor to sit across from her. "You should eat, I've got your favourites here for you."

"I should get back to Sheffield, my fam's waiting for me. I've kept them waiting long enough." The Doctor protested while sitting down. As she looked at the table, her stomach growled, reminding her of just how long it had been since she had eaten.

"I've got that covered, besides, I did say we needed to talk." The TARDIS watched as the Doctor piled her plate high with food and started to dig in. "Doctor, I know that the revelation of the Timeless Child has changed how you see yourself, what you think of yourself. I need you to see that this doesn't change who you are. You are still the Doctor at heart."

The Doctor put her fork down and rolled her eyes before looking up at her TARDIS. Her eyes brimmed with tears, she sniffled and took a deep breath, "Who am I? What am I? How can I be the Doctor if I have a whole past that I can't remember? My whole existence has been a lie! Everything I thought I knew about myself was wrong."

"Your past does not define you. You define yourself every day, by helping those that need it, by showing people the universe and giving them experiences they'd never have otherwise. You have changed lives, saved them!" Replied the ship with a pained look on her face.

"How do you know that? You know what Gat said about the Division. What did I do for them? What kind of person was I? Did they call themselves the Doctor too? How many faces did I have? Did I ever make any choices for myself?" The Doctor's voice broke and finally, she allowed the tears to fall. She wrapped her arms around herself as she released gasping sobs that instantly had the TARDIS out of her seat and next to the sobbing Time Lord.

"I know this is hard, Doctor, but that's why I came to get you. I'm going to help you remember who you are, who you always have been." The TARDIS snapped her fingers and a door appeared opposite of the previous door. "In there you will find what you need to help you remember who you are."

As the Doctor stood from the chair she looked towards the door and wiped her eyes with her sleeve. "What's through there? A look into my past?" She joked weakly.

"Yes." With that reply the Doctor turned and looked at her ship with wide eyes and a dropped jaw. "Through that door is a look into your past, you will see all the good that you've done for the universe. Remember, with good comes bad, these won't just be happy memories, these will be all your memories."

The Doctor stepped towards the door and just before her hand touched the doorknob she turned back to the TARDIS, only to see that she was once again alone in the room. "Well, no time like the present. Here we go."


Another blinding light greeted her on the other side of the door. As she raised her hand to block the light from her eyes, a shape stepped into her line of vision and she heard the two best words ever spoken.

"Hello sweetie."