It was a dumb idea, but all of Ruby and Ben's dumb ideas ended in a way that promised a good story. And this was probably gonna be one of their more 'tame' stories- you know, one that didn't end in fire and flames.

Ruby had heard from Min about a 'blind double date' event in Mistral, when a pair would have dinner with another couple and maybe strike a bond. It sounded rather pleasant; they adored their friends, truly, but meeting new people couldn't hurt. (And let's face it, the other Zeta Squad members could be a handful sometimes.)

So when the night finally came, Ben expected he and Ruby to match up with someone crazy, or weird, or...something. He didn't even know.

The people they matched with were ALL of those things.

Both had hair in orange shades, one bright, one more of an auburn. Both were tall and beautiful, one in a roguish, handsome way, the other almost model-like. The guy had his face set in a permanent scowl, while his partner beamed at Ben and Ruby.

Ben felt this awkward, suffocating air, something that was almost palpable. "…so, let's start with some introductions," he said. "I'm Ben Tennyson."

"And I'm Ruby Rose!" his girlfriend dutifully supplied.

"I'm Orihime Inoue, and this is my boyfriend Ichigo Kurosaki." Ben did his best to maintain eye contact with Orihime- he was struggling to do so (and so was Ruby, let's be honest), because not only was she gorgeous, she was stacked, her chest having a gravitational pull that was hard to ignore.

Plus, he had this feeling that if either of them looked at her chest, Ichigo would immediately kill them. He reminded Ben of Kevin, actually.

"N-nice to meet the both of you," Ben eventually got out.

A few minutes later found them sitting at a table amongst many others, all of them filled with blind dates. The people who set up the event went over rules, but Ben only half-listened. He felt Ichigo's eyes staring him down, like he was analyzing him. Or maybe he just had a serious case of resting bitch face. Ben looked away,and tried to focus on what the event planners were saying.

"We WILL be distributing these fun topic discussion cards so you can always have a conversation going! We don't want it to be too awkward now, do we?"

Too late, Ben thought, as someone placed a small deck of cards on the table.

"...I kinda wish this was Uno."

Ichigo snorted. "Honestly, same. Plus it's a good ice breaker."

"This is gonna be awkward as all hell, isn't it," Ben stated flatly.

Ichigo nodded. "Most likely. This isn't exactly my idea of a good time."

"Heeey, come on! We're meeting new people!" Orihime pouted. "With everyone so busy nowadays, we should find some new friends."

"Alright, alright," Ichigo said- cold as he seemed, he was willing to do whatever Orihime wanted. That was pretty cute. He reached for a card and looked it over.

"This one's pretty basic- what do you do for a living?"

Ben and Ruby immediately started sweating. "Oh, we're just students at the moment!" Ruby said, voice a little more high-pitched than usual.

"We just work part-time," Ben added, hoping the other couple wouldn't ask.

"Oh, alright! I work at a bakery, and Ichigo here works as a translator!" Orihime chirped.

"I get to work from home- pretty useful, honestly." Ichigo shrugged.

"A bakery, huh? My grandpa used to work in the food business," Ben said. "Do you handle baking, or…?"

"Oh! I do some baking, but honestly my boss has me out front most of the time." Orihime pouted cutely. "I know we sell more when I'm up front, but I don't get why. I'd rather bake."

Ben and Ruby once more struggled to keep staring into Orihime's pretty gray eyes.

"So, students…what're your majors?" Ichigo asked curiously.

Ben narrowed his eyes. "Uh, general studies for right now. I'm still trying to find my major. Like, my cousin went to a university a few years early, and now she's working on getting a major in some literature field. I just want some time to figure things out."

Ichigo nodded slowly. "That's fair. I remember getting pressured early on about college and other boring adult stuff. I say play it but ear."

Ben smiled. "Oh don't worry, I plan to."

"I'm interested in English and Creative Writing. Got a lot of good stories in here." Ruby playfully rapped her head with her knuckles.

Ben tried not to let his surprise show. Ruby gave a quick answer, like it was something that had been on her mind for a while. But it was neither the time nor the place. Instead Ben took a look at his sheet and groaned.

"What, what's the question?" Ichigo asked, raising an eyebrow.

Ben frowned. "It's just a weird one. Describe something you've done that you're really proud of."

"Oh, tough..." Orihime hummed. "Well...there was this one time I was in a really bad situation with someone. I won't go into the details, but...he didn't really know how to 'feel', I guess. In the end, I...kinda broke him out of that."

Ben looked to Ichigo. "Was it-"

"No, no." Orihime shook her head. "That person is no longer with us. But I'm sure he's fine now."

"...what about you?" Ruby asked Ichigo.

"I went against the law to stop my friend from getting executed."

Ben and Ruby stared. "...what?"

"I won't say anymore than that." Ichigo smirked before his girlfriend nudged him.

"Come on, at least give them more than that. Like, you're gonna need to clean up the details," Orihime insisted.

"What, how am I supposed to explain the whole situation?" Ichigo protested. "You think these two would buy into everything?"

Ben tilted his head. "Buy into what?"

"We live complicated lives," Ichigo stated flatly.

"So do we," Ruby shot back.

Ben's eyebrows shot up. "...you guys fight monsters. Don't you?"

Silence. Ichigo was stunned- this kid had almost hit the nail on the head.

"Judging from your reaction, I'm guessing that's right." Ben leaned back in his chair in a manner that was almost satisfied.

"...well, they're more like spirits, but-" Orihime weakly explained.

"Hey, hey," Ruby said, pulling out her phone to find some photos. "It's fine. We're just as invested in weird stuff as you guys are."

"Are you guys substitute shinigami too?" Ichigo asked, eyes going wide.

"Substitute what now?" Ben asked.

"Shinigamis. They're like Gods of Death," Ruby explained.

"Oh, we-we thought you were, like, Huntsmen or something."

"...what, for animals?" Orihime looked horrified at that.

"No, for Grimm," Ben immediately said.

Ichigo narrowed his eyes. "...the hell's a Grimm?"

It took a few minutes to describe everything, but the two redheads were able to understand things quickly.

"So, Grimm are animalistic beings that are drawn to negative activity…'' Ichigo mused. "It's kinda like a Hollow, I guess."

"All I know is that your lives suck!" Orihime said cheerfully.

"Babe. Babe no."

"Babe yes!"

"...I feel like a friend of mine would love your crackhead energy," Ruby thought out loud.

"…what?"

"Never mind that," Ben quickly said.

"So…do you have any supernatural powers?" Orihime asked, easily changing the subject.

"Yeah, actually- my watch allows me to-"

"And if this supernatural power is properly trained, it can allow you to break reality, maybe?" she continued innocently.

"…yes, actually." Ben's eyes went wide. "Wait, don't tell me that you have-"

Orihime showed her hairpins. "It's always fun when the most powerful weaponry look like everyday items."

Ben immediately leaned in. "So, how do you break reality? Do you transform into a particular creature? Cause I turn into this god-like alien-"

"Oooh, with galaxies swirling on your skin and everything?" Orihime asked cheerfully.

"Yes! Have you seen one?!"

"Ehe, maybe~"

Ichigo looked over at Ruby. "So…you use a sword?"

"Scythe, actually. It's also a gun," Ruby explained.

He smirked. "Niiiiice."

"What does your sword do? Does it transform? Can you show me?!" Ruby's eyes sparkled in a way that reminded Ichigo of his girlfriend. And, well, he was always a sucker for puppy dog eyes.

"...fine. But not because you asked!" Ichigo huffed. Ruby playfully stuck out her tongue and waited impatiently.

In seconds, the Zanpakuto was on the table... which had just been reduced to splinters.

"...I swear to god, if someone accuses me of property damage again..." Ben seethed.

"Woooah," Ruby said in awe. "That's a HUGE sword."

"Yeah, I usually keep it in a thinner form. Just thought I'd show off," Ichigo said smugly. "…though we might wanna fix the table. Hime, could you?"

Orihime's hair pins glowed, and in seconds an orange oblong shield surrounded the wreckage and immediately became a table again.

"...you must be great at the hospital," Ruby mused.

"I wouldn't know, I work at a bakery."

Ben nodded. "Valid."

Despite the noise they were making, Ben and his group peacefully worked through their ice breaker questions.

"'Who would win in a fight?'" Ruby innocently asked.

"That's a weird question to ask for a dating game, but I would say The Rock," Orihime said seriously.

Ichigo smirked. "Me."

Ben's eyebrow twitched. "I have my doubts. I threw a squid tyrant into space-"

"I fought two demi-Gods and won," Ichigo boasted.

"I've gone toe-to-toe with the devil and her bitch," Ben proclaimed.

"I fought two guys who were holding my girlfriend hostage, nearly died, went on a rampage, got better- and kicked the second guy's ass," Ichigo said.

"I fought a God who stole MULTIPLE versions of my watch. And won," Ben countered.

"Boys, boys, you're both pretty," Orihime said sweetly, putting a hand on her boyfriend's arm. "How about we go for smoothies soon? That'll make this easier."

"Or we could brawl it out, see who's better." Ben smirked, green eyes glinting dangerously.

Ichigo's smile turned shark-like. "Oh, you wanna go there, you little bitch?"

"And loser pays for the smoothies," he finished.

Ichigo's eyes lit up. "Oh, it's ON." He grabbed onto his badge and suddenly, his spirit shot out of his body- Ben was amazed by the quick change. Ichigo's outfit had changed too- he wore a white shitagi, a black kosode and hakama, a pair of white tabi, a pair of waraji, and a white obi. He had two white shoulder plates crossing his chest in an X shape that held his blades in place, with the first plate on his left shoulder having three sections adorned with red scales, the second plate having three sections adorned with red scales on his right waist, and a white cloak with black markings tied around his waist.

"Sick outfit, dude!" Ben grinned, before changing forms. His arms became coated in crystals, soon climbing up the rest of his body. Ben blocked a quick slash- it probably would have bisected him otherwise. The oversized khyber knife was powerful.

Ben conjured multiple spikes of crystals, forcing Ichigo to jump back. Ben's eyes lit up as he dashed at the swordsman. The sounds of battle filled the air, and they got some weird looks.

Orihime and Ruby merely watched from the sidelines.

"...so, you watch horror movies?" Ruby asked.

"Alllll the time. They need more blood," Orihime said.

"That's what I've been saying!" Ruby then looked over at Ichigo's main body. "So...is he gonna be okay?"

"Oh, don't worry," Orihime brushed it off. "We have a backup. But I gotta warn you, he's...a lot."

"Backup?"

I'm not going to even bother writing Kon here. You just want to see the fight between the boys, don't you?

Yeah, same.

Ben and Ichigo's fight had taken to the nearby outskirts of the forestry areas of Mistral. They clashed blades with one another- well, it was more like Ben had sharpened his hands into the shape of blades, but it was still pretty intense. Ichigo rushed forward and delivered a horizontal slash with Zangetsu. Ben stumbled back, and Ichigo followed up with a rising slash that knocked his opponent into the air. Just as the redhead jumped up, Ben switched forms.

Ichigo's blade suddenly passed through Ghostfreak's form. Tendrils wrapped around Ichigo's sword and whipped the swordsman around. He was slammed into the side of a building and barely had time to react before there was a green flash. Blitzwolfer landed on the ground and howled.

Blitzwolfer leapt toward Ichigo, both iron-coated fists extended. But before Ichigo could be struck, he slashed the wolf with a crushing overhead slash. Ben stepped quickly to the side, fully avoiding the swing.

Ben growled and spun around- he unleashed a powerful howl, and the overwhelming sound caused Ichigo to stop in his tracks and slam his sword into the ground to plant himself.

This dude's crazy- three forms in such quick succession, Ichigo thought. Who knows how many aliens he's got in that thing?

The attack suddenly stopped, and Ben ran at his opponent. "Nothing personal!" he yelled, before slashing through them with his claws and kicking them away.

Ben expected some cuts on Ichigo's skin, but...no. None. Ben's eyes squinted. He's got something akin to Aura, he thought. If I had to guess, it's in conjunction with that thing that's allowing him to speed around.

Ichigo stood back up and smirked. "What, that all you got?" he snarked.

"Depends," Ben drawled. "You're putting up more of a fight than I thought you would." He slapped down the Omnitrix again, and that fur was quickly replaced by plants, flames, and an awful smell. Ichigo plugged his nose.

"This better not be a gross form," Ichigo grunted. Ben responded by lighting up his fists.

"Nope," Swampfire said. "Just the BEST alien for the job."

Ichigo rushed forward again, as Ben generated a sphere of fire in his hands and threw it at his opponent. Ichigo sliced through the fireball easily, and Ben grinned. He threw some seeds, which burst open and wrapped Ichigo in a bunch of vines.

"I hope this works!" Ben cried out as he produced green gas.

"The hell is that?!"

"Methane," Ben answered oh so casually. "Don't worry, it's not toxic...but it is extremely flammable."

Ichigo's pupils shrank.

Ben snapped his fingers.

The area exploded, and Ben wished he had some sunglasses to put on as he walked away. "Alright, so that SHOULD have knocked you out. I'll have you know, I'm picky about my smoothies, so-"

"GETSUGA TENSHOU!"

"Getsuga wh-" Ben narrowly avoided a crescent-shaped wave of blue energy. The attack cut off half his body, and Ben quickly keeled over. Ichigo warped behind his opponent with the use of his Shunpo, and stabbed into the alien's back. Ben slowly regenerated, realizing how pissed Ichigo looked.

"...This is no longer about who pays for smoothies," Ben said flatly.

"Big time."

"Noted." And then he slammed both his hands into the ground. The earth suddenly exploded, but Ichigo was quick enough to pull out his sword and jump back. Ben's form merged with the ground and quickly traveled through it. The shinigami jumped back up and began firing multiple Getsuga Tenshous' at the earth to try and force Ben out. The alien shot out of the ground, the explosions in his hands propelling him through the air.

Ben launched a powerful burst of flames but once again, Ichigo's superior speed allowed him to avoid the attack. The shinigami responded to the attack by quickly slicing off all of Ben's limbs. He plummeted to the ground, arms and legs quickly regrowing even as he crashed.

Ben climbed out of the tiny crater and groaned. "Okay, okay...so he's that strong. But I can one up that." And with that, he slapped down the Omnitrix.

Ichigo reappeared in front of the crater, watching the newest alien walk out. "You really turned yourself into a giant wind up toy?" Ichigo taunted.

"Not just ANY wind up toy," Clockwork declared, stepping back out. "Come on, buddy. Try and hit me." He held his hands up. "I won't try anything."

Ichigo raised an eyebrow. "Nice try. What the hell can that alien do-"

Ichigo blinked, and the alien was gone. He gasped in shock, but before he could even search a giant golden fist hit the back of his head. Even with Blut, it still hurt. Ben's fist rang out, and Ichigo stumbled forward, slashing at his opponent- who was no longer behind him.

Ichigo was struck by attacks he couldn't see coming in places he never expected. Ben was totally cheating, but...Ichigo had to give it to him- the guy was clever.

But not invincible. Ichigo endured a few more hits before Ben reappeared in front of him.

"That form is slow, isn't it?" Ichigo asked, looking up.

"Yes, and no." Ben grinned. "What, you figure it out?"

Ichigo pointed at the gear on the top of his head. "Time manipulation. You're using it to move around like my Shunpo techniques, and using a 'Time Stop' to strike me."

Ben's mechanical hands applauded him. "I'll give you this- you catch on fast."

"Yeah. But I'm guessing there's a limit."

He raised an eyebrow.

"You could totally rush me with a bunch of punches, but you're sticking to single blows. Even within that space of time you have to punch me..." Ichigo grinned. "You can only land one good hit."

Ben frowned. "...maybe."

"Then that confirms it," Ichigo drawled, holding out Zangetsu in front of him. Ben thought it was to challenge him, but the giant blade suddenly began to glow.

"The hell are you-"

"Bankai."

The blade suddenly shot out a beam of pure white energy. Ben barely had time to avoid it, even with his time stop. He stumbled back and took a moment to catch his breath, even with all the dust in the air. It felt like his life had flashed before his eyes.

The dust swirled around where Ichigo was standing, revealing that something had changed. The shinigami had his back turned to Ben, but his sword had shrunk down to a daitō, a Japanese long sword.

"Try and keep up," Ichigo boasted.

Ben could barely register the blade slashing at his golden form. Ichigo was fast; his attacks made multiple dents in his armor and golden flakes fell to the floor. Ben gasped as he fell over.

"Your speed..."

"Yeah," Ichigo said, walking past Clockwork. "I'm fast."

"...But not fast enough."

Ichigo spun around- XLR8's Omni Drive form smashed into his face, sending him flying. Ben raced after him, a trail of electricity following.

As soon as he landed, Ichigo wiped some blood from his nose and swung Tensa Zangetsu, black and red energy surrounding the blade.

"GETSUGA...TENSHO!" Ichigo yelled as he fired the charged shot. It was faster than the blue one, and Ben just barely slid under it. He jumped back as he applied Dust cartridges into his armor. Green energy turned purple and yellow just as XLR8 rushed at Ichigo.

"If you can yell attacks, then so can I!" Ben yelled as he surged forward. Ichigo blocked multiple attacks from the velociraptor, but Ben sped up more and more!

"AND I CALL THIS ONE-" He raced around the shinigami, using the boosters on his back for a pick me up. Ichigo hadn't even noticed the tornado forming around them. He tried to move, but he couldn't. It was like the pressure of the tornado was holding him in place, weighing him down.

"GRAVITY STORM!" Ben yelled, and Ichigo was struck with one last hit. At least 300 million volts of electricity struck him, enveloping him in a cocoon of light and agony. Ichigo let out the hardest scream Ben had ever heard-

But before he could slip away, Ichigo grabbed his tail. It was pure electricity, but the shinigami didn't care. He grabbed Ben's tail and tossed him out of the storm. The tornado quickly disappeared as he rolled across the ground for a good few feet. He shook his head to clear it and looked back at his opponent.

"How the fuck were you able to-?!" Ben cried out.

"I've felt worse," Ichigo casually said, black aura already surrounding him. "Come on. We're both pretty beat up, aren't we?"

"...one last attack," Ben declared, swapping forms. This time, Ben went for Heatblast. "And I'll make it count."

Ben released a circular wave of fire so it could surround him menacingly. Ichigo's own black aura intensified. Ben propelled himself towards his opponent with a jet of fire, preparing to smash him in the face with a scorching blue fist. Ichigo screamed as he rushed forward-

And they clashed, one last time.


Ben pulled out his wallet and forked the cash over to the cashier. He sighed and tried not pout over his loss.

"I'm pretty fast too, y'know," Ruby said, sipping her strawberry banana smoothie. "Not that level of fast, but…maybe one day. How'd you even get to that level?"

"It's a bit hard to explain, but it's like I take all the energy from my body and compress it into a small, condensed form. That's what lets me run around the battlefield so easily," Ichigo explained before taking a sip of his drink… and spitting it out. "Ugh, what the hell is this?"

"Lamb and sardines," Ben said flatly, walking over with his own chocolate mint green smoothie. "Never trust me with your order, ESPECIALLY when I'm petty."

"I'm just glad I was able to heal both your injuries." Orihime beamed, happily enjoying her grape smoothie. "But…what happened?"

"Simple. Heatblast doesn't have the durability to handle a strike like that," Ben said. "I'm more shocked I didn't singe his entire face off with that punch. How'd you do that?"

"...let's just say my bloodline is complicated and we'll leave it at that." Ichigo set down his drink. "But…" He held out his fist. "...you put up a good fight."

Ben smirked and gave him a fist bump. "And I'm game for round 2 whenever."

Orihime smiled. "See? This was a good time. I told you."

"I'm pretty sure good times don't have guys on fire…or weird perverted spirits possessing bodies," Ruby pointed out. "But, eh. The weird stuff is our normal."

Ben sat back down. "Hey Rue, you said you heard about this from Min, right?"

"Yeah, why?"

"...what do you think THEIR double date was like?"

"Eh, I'm sure it was pretty normal compared to ours," Ruby said dismissively.


Kevin and Min looked at the people they were paired up with. They looked back.

Kevin cleared his throat. "...so, what the hell does a Hokage do-"


Weiss looked up from the paper and back at Kylie. Her legs eagerly bounced as Weiss read through the story.

"Soooo?" Kylie drew out. "What do you think?"

"...I've never watched Bleach. I don't get half the references," Weiss told her for the umpteenth time.

"But you look so much like Hitsuguya's long lost sibling…" Kylie sulked.

She rolled her eyes. "Also, spoiling 'Alien X-Tinction?' The author hasn't released that yet."

Kylie pouted cutely. "Hey, it's GONNA happen. She's just gotta write a few dozen more pages with some other people and it'll be ready."

"...She's not even done with this season!" Weiss protested hotly. "And it's WELL over a hundred pages right now! How is she not done with that?!"

"We're losing focus and breaking the fourth wall! That's going to annoy people," she said. "Just…just give me your thoughts."

Weiss took a deep breath. "...it was good. And the fight was very entertaining. Keep up the good work."

Kylie swooned at that.

"Although I still think it's weird you're using our friends' likeness in your stories."

"I mean, I use the likeness of the creator, so…" Kylie made a few vague hand gestures. "I dunno. I had a point."

Kylie and Weiss sat in silence.

"...at least this had more effort than last year's chapter," Weiss grumbled.


Hey ayo this was a fun chapter to write! Happy April Fools Day.

Please leave a review, and also a response to this question: would you be open to joining a Gemstones Discord?