Holiday Missteps
"What the hell is this?"
Awkwardness took over where excitement had just been. Heero thought he'd done well. When he asked Relena how best to cheer up Duo she'd suggested a little holiday spirit might be in order. She wouldn't steer him wrong, would she?
"I just... I thought..."
"You thought wrong."
"I didn't mean to—"
"Take it away, please."
He watched in silence as Duo left their office, the miniature porcelain Christmas tree on his desk glowing brightly despite the sudden mood change.
When Duo didn't return he became anxious, worried he'd done irreparable harm. Duo wasn't the type to sulk all day over an honest mistake and every hour that passed without him resurfacing in their office was cause for concern. He didn't even show up for lunch, and that was when Heero went looking for him. If there was anyone who would know where Duo went it was Constance, the systems admin for Engineering. She had a knack for always knowing everything about everyone who worked in the building.
"Maxwell? Did you lose your partner, Yuy?"
He frowned a bit more, and fixed her with an unamused stare. She smiled at him in that way that said Duo told me not to be scared of you and he wasn't sure if that was good or bad.
"Some idiot downtown robbed a bank with incendiary devices he wasn't skilled enough to make properly, and he flipped out and begged for authorities to send professionals to make sure he didn't kill himself. Bomb squad's on a skeleton crew because of annual training so Maxwell volunteered to help. He's probably still in the field, you know how those things go."
He did. And now he also knew how pissed Duo must have been. Even with a bare bones crew the official bomb squad was more than capable of dealing with a threat. Volunteering was obviously Duo's escape from him, and that hurt.
"Thank you, Constance."
She eyed him funny.
"He didn't tell you he was running out on you?"
Her phrasing did nothing to put him at ease, but he wouldn't let that show. Instead, he shrugged and walked away. By the time he got back to their office he was so sure he'd fucked up badly that he opened his desk drawer, removed the stupid Christmas tree he shoved in there for storage until he could speak to Duo about his reaction, and tossed it angrily in the trash.
What was so upsetting about a small desk ornament that Duo felt volunteering to disarm bombs was better than talking to him?
He was packing up for the day when Duo sauntered into their shared office. Other than some bandages on his hands he looked unharmed. But it was sometimes hard to tell with him. He liked to hide, after all.
"Hey, Ro! I'm so ready for this day to be done. You wouldn't believe how stupid some people are."
"Constance clued me in."
Duo paused before looking to him with guilt written all over his face.
"Oh shit. I didn't tell you where I went! I'm sorry, it was real last minute. Half the squad's deployed to help with a cache of unexploded mines found in a rural town like, six hours away from here. Some gun nut got himself a massive collection and no one knew how stable any of it was. And then they also got two calls simultaneously today. Two! You'd think everyone lost their minds this time of year. So Une solved that by having them kidnap me from the breakroom to fill in on team two."
Constance conveniently left all of that out, if she knew any of the real details. He steered Duo out the door and towards the elevators.
"It's okay."
"No, it's not. I shoulda called or texted you and I didn't. The chaos is no excuse. You're my partner, you needed to know where I was."
"That's correct, but mistakes happen."
He hoped to transition that idea into a discussion about his own mistake from earlier in the day, but the words evaded him when Duo realized they were at the elevators and insisted on taking the stairs.
"Why the stairs? You never take the stairs at HQ."
Duo didn't answer until they were already in the stairwell and he was slipping into his coat. The stairwell at Preventers was not well insulated so it was fairly cold. His voice echoed when he spoke, and amplified in a way that would guarantee anyone in the same stairwell, no matter their position or floor, would hear him clearly.
"You remember how I said you wouldn't believe how stupid some people are? We'll... you're lookin at one of 'em. I spent 4 hours trapped in an elevator today with a panicked guy, the bombs strapped to his chest, and only the tools I keep on my person, like my lockpick set and my utility knife."
That was... alarming.
"Where was your bomb squad toolkit?"
"Outside the damn elevator and I don't wanna get into it."
"Did you have your blast vest?"
"No, and I don't wanna get into it."
"What the hell—"
"Drop it, okay. It's been a long day."
They didn't speak again until well on their way to their metro station. Heero couldn't stand further silence, and needed to resolve what bothered him all day. He reached out to grab Duo's arm to signal he wanted his attention.
"I'm sorry about this morning. It's just... since the war we haven't spent a Christmas together. And I thought with things being different this year—"
"How are things any different?"
Heero didn't hide how Duo's words hurt, and he fell behind him as they walked, rushing to catch up and fall back into Duo's pace before expressing his concerns.
"What the hell do you mean by that? Duo! Everything's different! We're a couple now!"
"And what does that have to do with Christmas?"
Above all else, Heero was confused. From what he'd gathered by observing others, the holiday was supposed to be spent with those you loved. Friends certainly counted, but for all the years they were just friends he was afraid to overstep some unspoken boundary given how Duo always managed to avoid the holiday. He assumed, perhaps incorrectly, that changing their status from friends to lovers meant that boundary was gone.
He was surprised to discover he felt... a little heartbroken.
"I guess I just thought with us being so much closer that we'd build some kind of tradition together."
"I don't want a tradition with you."
Though it was barely audible, Heero gasped. He also stopped dead in his tracks. Immediately, Duo froze. He spun quickly around. His face looked stricken.
"Oh shit. Ro, I didn't mean it like that! I just... Fuck!" His hands came up to grab the hair at the sides of his head. "Damnit! I didn't mean it like it sounded!" His eyes were wild, and he gestured with his hands. "I don't want a tradition at all! Full stop! It's not that I don't want one with you. I mean I don't, but it's not because of you."
Heero quietly watched as Duo spun apart. The people passing them, still walking towards the metro station while they stood in the middle of the sidewalk, added to how surreal the whole thing felt.
"I got hangups, you know? About Christmas, not about you. I'd love to have traditions with you, just not for this, okay? Anything else, yes! You want a tradition on new years, or our anniversary, or Tanabata, or the day I first shot you, then you got it. I'd love to have something we do together. Something that's ours. But not Christmas, okay? Does that make sense? Please, please let that make sense. The concept of us having a tradition is great but the execution is all fucking wrong, just like my explanation and—"
"The day you first shot me is our anniversary."
Duo just stared, slack jawed. A random teen knocked into his shoulder and cursed him for taking up the sidewalk. Heero closed the distance between them and took Duo by the arm, guiding him to stand next to the nearest building, freeing the sidewalk for pedestrians who no longer had to walk around them.
"It doesn't matter to me what day we first went out on an official date. April 8th is special to me, because the most frustrating, amazing, and handsome man I've ever met shot me twice and lived to tell the tale."
"Damnit, Ro. I love you and I'm so sorry I'm messing things up. Like I said... it's been a hell of a day and I really didn't mean to take that out on you."
Heero's eyes widened.
"That's the first time you've said you love me."
Duo frowned and looked around nervously.
"No it isn't. No way. That can't be true."
"It is."
Slowly Duo's eyes widened. Heero saw the gears in his head spinning, and he could pinpoint the moment his baka realized that it was true. He'd never once said the words I love you to him.
"Oh. Uh. I'm sorry. I'm an idiot, aren't I?"
"Duo?"
"Yeah?"
"I love you, too."
"So we're both idiots?"
"Yes."
"That's... A relief."
Duo turned away from him to lean with his back to the building, arms crossed over his chest. Heero copied his stance and made sure to stand close enough that their shoulders touched. They people watched for a few minutes in silence, the steam from their breath swirling in the air before them. Eventually, Heero pushed a little towards Duo, the light and gentle shove gaining his attention once more.
"We don't need to have a Christmas tradition. Neither of us are religious, and if you have no ties to it then there's no reason to go out of our ways. But you do need to talk to me. Tell me what's going on inside."
Duo closed his eyes and let out a long breath, the steam obscuring his face as Heero watched him. When he spoke, it was a little bit rushed, like he didn't want to admit anything but he understood that keeping Heero in the dark wasn't a good idea. He stared at the pavement as he explained himself.
"I never HAD a Christmas, okay? Obviously I didn't while living on the streets, and my first year at the orphanage I got upset over something and I ran away. They did a whole thing and I ditched and spent the day in a sewer to avoid everyone. And when I finally sneaked back in there was a gift on my bed with a note telling me they hoped I'd come back soon. The next day I got read the riot act by Helen. I was selfish, I was inconsiderate, I ruined their plans."
His voice took on a mocking tone and he held up his hands in air quotes. "Why do you always disobey, Duo? Why do you always cause trouble?"
He dropped his hands back into his elbows, once again crossing his arms. Heero thought he almost looked like he was pouting. "I was just a little kid, yanno? I was scared. And Father Maxwell? He just looked at me with that silent disappointment I was so used to." He dropped his chin down to his chest. "I thought I could make it up to them the next year, but they were dead before the next Christmas."
None of this was what Heero expected. He wasn't sure what he thought Duo's reason for being so Christmas adverse was, but this was not in the realm of options he came up with while working in the afternoon.
"Duo. What were you upset over?"
"Don't worry about it."
"If it's still on your mind after all these years, it's worth worrying about."
Duo sighed and looked up. Not at Heero, but at the bus stop across the street and the people standing just a little closer than they would any other time of the year. It was a phenomena Duo often called a shitty pickpocket's dream. Everyone stands a little closer together when it's cold, and it makes bumping into one another inevitable. If you knew what you were doing no one would even notice you, but if you were bad at pick-pocketing they might feel your touch. And if it's cold and everyone's huddled? It's easy to explain away. For a short few seconds Heero wondered if Duo was calculating how many marks he could hit across the street in the minute and a half before the bus arrived. But instead, Duo picked up their conversation where they left off.
"I'd gotten into another fight a few days earlier. Same group of kids who made fun of me for smelling bad all approached and surrounded me. I didn't have a gang anymore, no backup. Solo said never to let 'em catch you off guard but I got a little softer, being at the church." His head ducked low, and he mumbled, "Never made that mistake again."
"What'd they do?"
"Nothing. They just told me what I already knew."
"And that was?"
"They said I ruined things for everyone. They said Sister Helen had to be especially frugal because of me, and that I was the reason she and Father Maxwell couldn't afford the smallest luxuries for themselves anymore. That before I showed up they usually treated themselves to dinner out on Christmas and because of me they cancelled their long-standing tradition. And it wasn't a lie. One of those kids? His parents ran the restaurant."
Heero leaned a little closer to Duo.
"You said you were scared. What were you scared of?"
Wide eyes raised to examine him as Duo tried to decide whether to open up or not. They were almost close enough for their breath to mingle in the cold air.
"You can tell me anything, baka. No judgement, no telling anyone else. Friend Dome."
Enlisting use of the Friend Dome made it serious. Years earlier, when Heero didn't want to open up about things, Duo convinced him it was safe by telling him about something Solo used to do with him. When the rules of Friend Dome were enforced, nothing the other person said would be spoken of to anyone else. You'd take whatever was said to your grave. Friend Dome enabled a freedom to say anything without having it used against you later.
He couldn't turn Heero down when he evoked Friend Dome. Instead, he took a calming breath and prepared himself, resting his head back onto the building as he looked up at a cloudy and dark sky.
"I was scared to find out they were right, and me being there made everything worse. It wasn't just the fight. I... I got jumped by them. After they said those things. And honestly those kids were a whole lot softer than I ever was. Beat the snot outta 'em even outnumbered. But Helen was furious I'd gotten into another fight, especially when she got a call from the owners of that restaurant to tell her that the wild animal she took in assaulted their totally innocent kid. Helen wanted to know why. But by then I knew better than to tell her. Last time I did she actually talked to those kids thinking she could fix things, and I ain't a snitch."
He stopped for a moment when Heero snorted, but Duo took no offense. He knew it was only because Heero was very aware of how much he still prided himself in not being a snitch.
"So she realized those kids probably started things, and she began to guess why. Settled on how I must've stolen something of theirs. Searched my room, which wasn't hard since it was barely larger than my bed. And she found the gifts I got for her and Father Maxwell. I just... wanted to show my appreciation, yeah? But she lost it, so sure I'd stolen them. I told her I didn't. She said I had to steal them because I didn't have money. Told her I worked out a deal helpin the shop owner with free labor to work off the cost, but she insisted I was a liar and took them, intent on returning them to the shop with an apology."
Heero gave him an odd look.
"And this is the woman you love, whose cross you wear?"
A smile almost played on Duo's lips.
"Relationships are complicated things. But yeah. We would fight a lot. Doesn't mean we didn't care. She was basically tryin to tame a feral child, so you gotta give her some leeway."
Heero nodded, and he thanked Duo for telling him what bothered him as they resumed their walk to the metro station. Things remained quiet between them as the crowd increased towards the entrance. Some people were off to the side buying fare cards or renewing their balances. Heero and Duo were pulling out their Metropass cards when words were spoken that made Duo stop cold.
"I'm very sorry for violating Friend Dome."
"Wha—"
"We're going to celebrate Christmas this year."
Duo's heart constricted. This was certainly a violation of Friend Dome, and something he'd never expect from Heero. Friend Dome was sacred. Did he not care about that? The very idea made no sense. So Duo didn't get angry, he got confused. There must be a miscommunication between them. Heero was lacking something basic in his understanding of Duo's explanation, that had to be it.
"Did you not listen to a word I said?"
Heero swiped his card and passed the turnstile.
"I did listen. And that's why we're going to celebrate."
"Heero—"
"Hey! Move it!"
They both turned to see an angry woman behind Duo, where a bottleneck was forming. He apologized and swiped his card, hurrying through and grabbing Heero by the arm when he did. In no time they were headed down a set of stairs. The majority of people used the escalator, and that meant for now the crowd was thinned out around them.
"Ro, what the hell? You didn't listen to me at all!"
"Relationships are complicated things. Give me some leeway."
Duo's jaw dropped when his words were thrown back at him.
"It won't be anything elaborate. Nothing over the top or with too many people. You can continue to ditch every party you're invited to. But you and I are going to spend Christmas together because it sounds to me like you did want to have a small celebration with the priest and the nun, but never got the chance. And you've been scared off from trying again."
At the bottom of the stairs Heero grabbed hold of Duo's arm and pulled him into a quiet corner. For anyone else that would be a rookie move, because a quiet corner away from the public eye was a great place to get mugged. But anyone who tried that on Heero Yuy and Duo Maxwell would have their asses handed to them.
Heero leaned close and pretended to adjust the scarf around Duo's neck as an excuse to keep him near, but also to keep him from running off.
"I can promise you that nothing will go wrong if you simply join me for Christmas eve at my place, and stay over until Christmas day."
Duo tilted his head to one side and examined him.
"Just us?"
"Just us. No grand gestures."
"I'll think about it."
"Christmas eve is tomorrow. No thinking about it. Make a choice."
He watched as Duo's shoulders relaxed, and an incredible sadness clouded his usually bright eyes. He thought maybe he'd crossed a boundary he really shouldn't have.
"Okay."
Heero blinked.
"What?"
"I said okay. Christmas is yours to plan, but just for you and me. No one else."
Heero smiled, incredibly pleased, and used the scarf to pull Duo into a quick kiss.
"This is excellent news. Thank you."
Without another word, Heero took Duo's hand and walked them to the Southbound track. There were people waiting for Duo's train, but not too many. Most passengers, in their experience, got onto the train in another two stops this time of day.
"You're coming home with me?"
"No, baka. I'm just walking you to your train, like a gentlemen." Duo choked on a laugh. "Unlike you, I've got a holiday to plan. So the rest of my evening will be making appropriate arrangements."
"Hey, you said nothing elaborate!"
"Am I a liar?"
"Yes! Of course you are!"
It was Heero's turn to laugh, and from the mostly empty platform it echoed. Some heads turned their way. Neither of them cared.
"I'll see ya tomorrow, then, Ro?"
"My place. Please arrive around 1:00."
"So early?"
"I like spending time with you."
Duo squeezed his hand, and the platform lights flashed to signal a train arrival. After seeing him off, Heero remained on the platform a moment to digest what just transpired. Then he whipped out his phone and looked up a few places to run errands in preparation for the next day. Not elaborate didn't have to mean ordering pizza and having a regular night in.
At precisely 1:00 the next afternoon a knock was heard at Heero's door. He rushed to answer, and found Duo in the hallway completely preoccupied with yanking off his scarf, an annoyed look on his face.
"My building doesn't heat the common areas nearly as much as yours, it's too damn hot with this thing on!"
"Duo, it's caught on your braid."
"I fucking know that but knowing doesn't make this easier to unravel!"
With a chuckle, Heero guided him inside and shut the door. They both worked cooperatively to undo whatever mess was made when Duo bundled up to leave his apartment. Partway through, Duo's hands stopped.
"What the hell did you do?"
His tone was just like the prior day when he saw the tree on his desk. Heero's mind worked quickly to figure out his crime.
"Ro. What is that smell? You cooked?" Duo turned to him, whisps of his hair all over the place. "Damn! That smells great!"
No crime. That was good. Gently, Heero continued to release Duo's hair from the scarf until it was freed.
"I prepared a roast, which will go into the oven later. All the sides are done and will only need to be reheated. I didn't want to force you into kitchen labor and cleanup."
Duo's smile was brilliant. Heero learned a long time ago that food was a surefire way to make him happy.
"When's the meal? This smell is gonna drive me nuts."
"It'll be dinner so not for a while. But there's fruit, nuts, cheese, and crackers to snack on."
The promise of good food was enough to stall Duo from taking notice of what else was different in his apartment, but that didn't last beyond removing his coat.
"What the hell is this?"
That, Heero feared, was identical in both wording and tone to yesterday morning. Duo spotted his biggest gamble of the day. In the corner of his living room, near a window, stood a bare tree that wasn't in his living room the last time Duo came over. He treaded carefully.
"I thought we could decorate it."
"I gathered, but what the hell is it?"
Heero did not follow.
"It's a Christmas tree."
"Yeah but it's not even green! What is this thing?"
It slowly dawned on him that Duo wasn't angry, he was confused.
"The saleswoman told me it's a blue spruce." He stepped towards the plant, hoping the more he explained the more accepting Duo would be. "And it's still got roots, so after the holiday we can plant it but it needs to be planted fairly quickly. Don't keep it indoors more than a week, she said."
"No problem, it's kinda a one-day thing, but aren't you forgetting something?"
"What?"
"Babe, we both live in apartments."
He had a point.
"We'll just have to plant it in secret on Quatre's property, then."
"Secret?"
He had his baka's attention, and it was certainly in a good way. The mischief dancing in his eyes confirmed for Heero that he would have to make his joke become reality. Duo was far too excited by this prospect to back out now.
"Yes. We'll rent a truck, drive it out to his place, and plant it in the dead of night. He'll never know what it him."
The genuine smile he got assured him everything was going to be just fine. If he hadn't purchased a gift already for Duo to open, the promise of shocking Quatre and his landscaper with a six-foot-tall blue spruce having grown overnight would've been enough of a gift.
"You even got lights!"
"And ornaments."
Heero imagined the way Duo dug into the new boxes of lights, plugging them in and examining the strands, must be how he looked as a small child. There was delight and wonder in his eyes, and they decided on white lights over color, but so many lights Heero thought the tree sort of looked like a galaxy when they were done. It didn't even have ornaments yet. He wasn't sure it needed ornaments, but he also wasn't sure they'd ever be able to remove the lights. It was more tangled than Duo's hair in his scarf.
Ultimately they settled on just a few ornaments and no tree topper. Then Heero surprised Duo with cookies to decorate, explaining he woke early to bake them but wanted to do the fun part together. The fun part turned out to be a mess, and they mutually decided it was not their thing. By the time they were done it was getting dark and the roast was in the oven.
Heero considered the day a success. Not only was there good food and good company, but they spent quite a while snuggled up under a blanket on his couch, looking at the tree. It really did look like a galaxy of lights after the sun went down. They simply enjoyed each other's company, and there was nothing elaborate about that.
Upon heading to bed, Duo showed him exactly how much he appreciated their first Christmas together. Heero could've sworn their lovemaking had an even stronger connection than before. Maybe helping Duo overcome memories that haunted him wasn't only good for his partner. If it also helped some of those barriers between them come down, it helped him, too. While Heero didn't need their Christmases to all be spent with just the two of them, and was open to the idea of eventually involving friends, he wouldn't mind making Christmas eve sex between the two of them part of their new tradition. They were both exhausted and satisfied, and he was sure they'd sleep well after cleaning up and heading to bed. So it was a shock when Duo violently woke him some hours later.
"Do you smell smoke, Ro?"
He was instantly awake with Duo shaking him like a damn earthquake but it took a few seconds for his cognitive ability to kick in.
"What? No."
His partner released his hold on him, then jumped out of bed and threw on some pants.
"There's definitely a fire."
"Duo, you must've had another nightmare."
Heero crawled out of bed and searched for his own pants. The most logical conclusion was that their Christmas celebration put the church on Duo's mind, and he was having another nightmare about the fire. It wasn't something that happened often, but it was something they'd dealt with before.
"No! I mean yes but that's not it." Duo was out the door and heading towards his living room. Heero followed while his partner rambled. "I swear, I swear to you that it's real. Where the hell is the fire?"
Just to be safe, and to placate Duo, he checked the apartment. As expected, there was no signs of any disturbance. He began to explain that when he rounded into the living room and realized Duo was gone. His front door was open, and Duo was missing. Never had his partner up and left when he was reeling from a nightmare, stuck between bad memories and reality. This was new, and it was bad. In a panic, he ran out into the hallway.
"Duo!"
He heard a sound, and recognized it as the stairwell door closing. Why would Duo be taking the stairs? He followed the sound halfway down the hall and took the stairs. He hurried to the floor below, lucky that there was no floor above to choose between. Heero crashed through the door and was relieved to see Duo quickly pacing the hallway, walking back and forth, door to door, pounding on each one.
"Duo?" He ran beside him and grabbed for Duo's arms in an attempt to reel him in. "Duo, you're dissociating. Come on, let's go back to bed."
Heero wasn't expecting to be violently shoved to the ground.
"Where's the fire? Where the hell is the fire? How do you not smell the smoke?" Duo was becoming frantic, and before Heero could pull himself off the floor he started yelling. "Hey! Hey! There's a fire! Everybody wake up!"
"Duo! Stop! You don't know where you are!"
His partner whirled to face him, eyes intense the way they used to be in the middle of a tough battle while piloting Deathscythe. So many years past the war, he couldn't remember the last time he saw that look. A few doors opened from the commotion, with heads sticking out into the hall to see what was going on despite the ungodly hour. Duo ignored them, and continued to shout.
"I know exactly where I am! If I'm not really here, then none of this is real. You're not real! There's two options, Ro. Either I'm still dying a long time ago in that fire and you and my entire life is the hallucination of a dying child, or there's a fucking fire in this building!"
"Stop it, Duo! You're scaring people! If there was a fire the alarm system would go off. Nothing's wrong here!" He looked to his downstairs neighbors, people whose faces were vaguely recognizable from the mail room and the neighborhood at large, people who didn't know him. "I'm sorry! He's not dangerous, he just doesn't understand—"
Heero lost his voice when Duo turned sharply and started to ram one of the doors down the hall.
"Duo!"
The braided man was screaming "Fire!" as he violently kicked at an unsuspecting resident's door. Everyone who was tentatively watching from their apartment doors came out to observe the scene. A few people had their phones to their ears, likely calling the police. Others had phones out to record the madman in their hallway. Heero scrambled the rest of the way towards Duo and tackled his partner.
"Get yourself together, Duo! You're dissociating! That's not my door, we're on the wrong floor!"
"Let go of me! Let me go, damnit! I know it's not your place, just fucking LOOK!"
He did.
And he instantly let go of his grip, because from under the door Duo was trying to break open, he saw whisps of black smoke. Duo was already back kicking the door when Heero stood and barked an order for the neighbors to call the fire department and evacuate. No one seemed to take him seriously until the door finally caved in and a wave of smoke flooded out into the hall.
Then Duo was gone. And the neighbors panicked.
Half an hour later Heero was sitting on the curb across from his building, looking up at the damage. The apartment directly below his caught fire. Their Christmas tree was too dry, and they'd placed it too close to their electric fireplace, which was foolishly left on as they slept. The residents were disoriented from smoke inhalation when Duo pulled them out, handing them off to Heero and going back for the rest. They and another two residents went door to door to sound the evacuation, and ordered everyone who answered to leave their doors open so the fire department would know which apartments were cleared.
He felt someone sit next to him, and turned to see Duo, who draped an arm around his shoulder and pulled him close into a side hug.
"I thought you said nothing would go wrong. That I'd come over, stay the night, and be with you for Christmas. Just us, not too many people, nothing over the top. But your fancy building with heat in the hallways didn't have a working fire detection system."
Heero didn't respond.
"Hey now, don't look so glum. No one was hurt, and that's what matters."
"I thought you were hallucinating."
"I know."
"I didn't take you seriously."
"Yeah, I know."
"My apartment's destroyed."
"Yeah, but only 3 units have major damage, and that's pretty damn great considering the size of the building."
They fell into a comfortable silence. Heero was glad that Duo thought to grab their coats when he ran upstairs to warn the residents of the 6th floor. It was cold out, and though he didn't want to admit it the added warmth of being pulled closer to Duo was very welcome. They didn't even have shoes. He couldn't feel his toes.
"Duo?"
"Yes?"
"How did you know it was real?"
There was a pause before Duo responded. Like he was considering how to word his answer.
"Usually dreams about the fire are just me, stuck there with no way out until I'm so worked up that I wake up. This time I heard voices I haven't heard in years, demanding I wake up. So I did. I don't think it's divine intervention or nothin, but I'm pretty sure my subconscious knew what would make me act the fastest. That, and I just... couldn't stop smelling smoke. You know how sometimes we can smell what your neighbors are cooking? I just smelled smoke. It was faint, but there."
Heero didn't ask who the voices belonged to. The tone of Duo's let him know it was probably the people he lost in that fire back on L2.
"You saved lives tonight."
"Maybe."
"Definitely. If it was up to me we'd go back to bed until the fire spread."
"Maybe. But for now there's nothing left to be done here. We should go. You can stay with me. Borrow my clothes until we can get you some of your own when shops open back up."
"Your gift was destroyed."
Duo shot him a crooked grin.
"My gift?"
"I got you—"
"Don't tell me."
Heero gave him a curious glance.
"Why not?"
"It's just better that way. If it was something awful, you're off the hook. And I don't need anything, anyway." He pulled Heero into a kiss. "I got you. That's all I want."
"Really?"
"Yep. I wasn't lying when I said I love you. I didn't even wanna be here today. Almost canceled on you. But then I remembered that I love you, and being together, trying out this holiday, meant something to you. So I reminded myself I can face anything with you by my side, and I played along. And once I got here I realized I didn't need to play along, I was just happy to be with you. Mixed up memories or not, time with you is time really well spent."
"Wow."
The unusual answer from Heero, coupled with a dreamy look in his eyes, encouraged him.
"You know, if you're gonna blame me for this good outcome with the fire, it's your fault, too. I wouldn't be here tonight if you weren't so damn great."
Heero smiled, forgetting how cold he was. Those words provided immeasurable warmth. Duo's eyes drifted back to the building.
"Though... There's one thing I also really want. I wanna go out and find another tree to secretly plant at Quatre's." His eyes shot back to Heero's. "Our tree is long gone now, from the looks of your place. And I'm not gonna let some fire ruin Christmas for me again after you've done so much to make it special. We're supposed to start a tradition of confusing Quat, yeah?"
Duo stood, and held out his hands to Heero in order to pull him upright.
"Let's go home. It's not as fancy a building, but the fire detection system works just fine, my bed is warm, and I'll make you a nice cup of tea before we settle back in for the night."
"Home?"
The dreamy look in Heero's eyes still lingered, and gave Duo pause.
"Listen, I dunno if you're catching on here, you seem dazed, so I'm gonna be extra clear."
Duo looked around to confirm no one was bothering to notice what they were doing. Everyone was busy doing their jobs or making arrangements in the aftermath of the fire. He kept Heero's hands in his, and dropped to one knee.
"Heero Yuy, I know we've only been dating a little less than a year—"
Blue eyes became disbelieving saucers.
"—so this is a bit quick, but will you move in with me? For however long, be it until your place is suitable for human habitation, or just... Indefinitely, until you get tired of me?"
Relieved that Duo hadn't proposed marriage, he smiled and nodded.
"Definitely, yes."
"Great!"
Duo shot up to his feet, and for a second Heero wondered if he seemed so unbothered by the cold and his lack of appropriate attire because of how he spent his childhood, but he didn't have time to ask, nor was he inclined to at the moment.
"Then like I said, let's go home. Our home. Doesn't matter what happened here today, you always have a home with me."
They quietly walked hand in hand towards a few cabs that showed up. They were giving free rides to displaced residents. Duo stopped them just before flagging one of the cars.
"Hey, Ro?"
"Yeah?"
"Let's not add any fires to our traditions for next year."
Heero looked sharply at him, forgetting the cold, and his feet, and how his earthly possessions were in the wreckage of his apartment.
"Next year?"
"Yeah. Next year let's keep dinner, decorating a tree, and screwing. And before New Year's we'll continue with Operation Random Forest." Heero laughed. "Let's not deal with any fires or spend the evening with the population of an entire apartment building and multiple fire squads."
"That... sounds nice."
"Thank you for making it feel okay to say..." Duo leaned forward, and his voice dropped for only Heero to hear. "Merry Christmas, Heero."
"Merry Christmas, Duo."
