Disclaimer: I do not own Teen Titans, Jackie Chan Adventures, or any other Property depicted in this work.

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A Shadow of the Titans

Created by

Nocturne No Kitsune

Written by

Eduard Kassel

Chapter 17

Through Tangled Weaves

Or

How Quickly Complications Can Arise

Zatanna had seen a lot in her time. From the wondrous worlds that exist just outside the corner of your eye, a cake golem indwelled by an unethical witch, a beard oil baron, a dragon large enough it could swallow the earth, and a tax payment software that was actually user friendly.

But what was confronting her after emerging from a Buried Bricks janitorial closest was a new one. Namely, a little girl probably around seven or so, wearing a yellow cape and black mask over worn overalls and short-sleeved black shirt. What made it a bit odd were the animal ears poking up from the spiky dark hair on her head, the matching fur on her arms, the paw feet, and the tail wagging behind her.

"Halt evil trespasser, you face Lightning Weasel! I defend this building from intruders in the name of justice!" the kid declared.

'A Japanese weasel youkai kid playing superhero? Adorable,' Zatanna thought, smiling. Stepping up next to the kid, she reached down to pat the spiky hair.

"No worries kid, I'm one of GAAAH!" Zatanna cried out as she was shocked like being struck by a thunderbolt from patting the kid's head.

"What?" She gasped, before toppling backward onto the tile floor.

"Justice triumphs once more," Lightning Weasel said, before grabbing Zatanna's ankles and starting to drag her off.

X X X

Jade sipped her morning mixed drink of coffee and various chemicals, frowning as she read the letter again.

Mail was quite important in the Buried Bricks, with tech often acting up. Pen and paper were reliable in a way even magic communication often wasn't, what with eavesdropping. Still, Jade had gotten nothing but junk mail in her own post box until this, a letter from Jinx of all things. Sent somehow under Blood's radar apparently, to warn her that a crazy bug monster girl was hunting her and out for blood.

"Gee, thanks for the warning," Jade said, finishing her drink and smacking the paper on the table. Judging by the date, the title of snail mail was well-placed.

Jade massaged her temples; she was stressing out too early, just finishing breakfast. Well, early was subjective – it was closer to sunset than noon. Her work had her keeping odd hours, and they kept shifting.

She was sick of chipping away at her debt, but it was hard to find big payoff jobs on her own. Even with meeting more people at the Buried Bricks, there wasn't exactly much wealth to spread around, she realized. Most weren't poor, per-say, but even the intrepid merchants tended to guard what wealth they had carefully. And the Penguin was not big on hawking the kind of magic artifacts you got at a place like this.

Surely it wouldn't take years to work off her debt? That was not something that happened to her.

Even if she went back to the HIVE, Blood would not let her off the hook. Heck, would Penguin take her leaving town well even?

Sometimes she wondered if it wouldn't be better to pack it in and park herself by the Bat signal.

"None of that. You want to end up in Arkham, Blackgate? Or another round of Star Jade?" Queenie said, resting he chin on Jade's shoulder.

"I'm not gonna, really, can't I just vent in my head?"

"I have to hear you, so no," Queenie replied. Then they both glanced down as Jade's head bent a bit at a cramp in her stomach area.

"Maybe I've been eating too much odd stuff even for me, this just isn't going away."

"Or maybe it's your body telling you to stop messing around and go big to wash this pity party away."

"I am not having a pity party."

X X X

Jinx lowered the tome so she could compare the array drawn on the pages to the one on the floor. It seemed to be a perfect match. Kneeling, she sent a tiny bolt of magic into the chalk line. It was not nearly enough to activate, but she watched it circulate through the array without incident.

She turned to Kid Wicked, the owner of the book and five hundred of her former dollars.

"So, this ritual will net me a familiar and access to one of the magical planes once a year with no further strings attached than trip to some Wonderland ripoff named Epicland?" Jinx reaffirmed.

"Correct. But these deals cannot be broken save by death of the familiar you bind. And there are consequences to betraying a familiar in that world."

"Why haven't you used it?"

"I do not want pets."

"Fair enough, but if this is a trick, I will be back, and I will use you as my final for Vengeance 216," Jinx said. The black-clad magic user shrugged and stepped back as Jinx stepped to the array and pulled a knife from her sleeve with a flick of her wrist.

X X X

Jade smiled at the array she'd drawn in chalk on the floor of the abandoned warehouse. Candles were burning blue, the inscriptions matching her drawings. And the circle was finally acceptably perfect.

"I don't like doing this out here," Queenie said, slipping under Jade's arm as Jade held out a murky mirror shard and tested the air around them for interference.

"You're just being paranoid," Jade rolled her eyes.

"Of course I am, it's Gotham. We should do this back at home."

"You mean the Buried Bricks. And besides, portals are banned there, remember? Want our rent to go up?"

"This isn't a portal, it's a viewing window to one's desires that can pierce the veil of dimensions and realms, possibly. Completely different," Queenie insisted.

"What you think doesn't matter as much as what the super minotaur thinks."

Tarakudo's eye appeared in the glass as Jade finished, giving an impression of amusement.

"Oh, you two! Such banter. You know Jade, as you seem to be on the track to evil enough as is, have you ever considered the two-headed Oni route to resolve your headcase?" Tarakudo chortled from a different glass shard on the floor nearby.

"I want her gone or sealed, not hitching a ride."

"Ouch," Queenie muttered, smacking her chin lightly on Jade's shoulder.

"If it's the freakiness that worries you, it's all in the company. Why, take your sauce merchant friend. I'll have you know, among Shadowkhan two-headed women were considered very exotic. You two would be very popular."

"Eww, and shut up. Time to see this eagle fly," Jade said, cracking her knuckles and flexing her talons on the floor.

"Or face plant. Flip that coin, kid," the King chuckled.

"To be clear, I still want that merger," Queenie whispered to Jade. For her part, the Shadowkhan sorceress was focusing on her chi ritual, chanting and watching the array for any disruptions or failures. To her happy surprise it all seemed to be working, and a circle rose from the array to position itself across from her, hanging in the air with grey mist forming on the other side of the circle.

"Not bad," Tarakudo remarked. Jade resisted the urge to send the mirror shard skidding away across the floor. She wasn't going to risk this going wrong.

'Come on, come on. Show me my desire. Uncle's shop. Section 13. My room. My Hong Kong. Jackie…' Jade fervently hoped in her head as she felt her hairs tingle at the magic working through and around her connected to the spell. The mist began to thin, and a silhouette formed, growing clearer. A woman, a curvy but strong one, it seemed. Viper?

Her eyes widened as she was not greeted with the sight of the oh so cool ex-thief, but of a bronze-scaled snake woman, with shoulder-length brown hair, slit brown eyes, wearing only a chest wrap and baseball cap with a gold disk surrounded by a coiling snake.

"That's your desire? Jade, how did you hide that from me? Seriously," Queenie said in confusion. The lamia girl, to Jade's further shock, shifted her eyes, clearly seeing through the spell somehow.

"Welcome to Lamia Louie's Original Pizzeria, home of the Secret House Sauce. This is Salami Jackson, may I take your order?" the reptilian woman said with a wide smile, eyes closed.

Zhu Chan's stomach growled as if in reply.

"Oh, that heart's desire," Queenie remarked. Jade blushed purple, while Tarakudo cackled, and she could swear he was somehow slapping his nonexistent knee.

"Pizza is not my heart's desire," Jade snapped at Queenie. Queenie hung upside down in front of her, obscuring the lamia woman from view.

"Well, the spell says otherwise. Guess you bonded some of the Pig talisman's essence after all."

"Order, please," the lamia spoke up.

"Ah yes, the young ladies will be having your largest serving size for a pie, and do you have any scrap metal options…" Tarakudo spoke up while the two argued over the nature of a heart's desire, and whether or not it was actually Queenie who wanted a pizza with all her heart.

"Okay then, that's a double XL Louie's Original. Hold the onion, with scrapyard variety spread, lightly seasoned with motor oil, moderate hot sauce, a side of cheese-stuffed breadsticks, and a small diet Coke to make it a combo. That'll be 168.75 with our delivery guarantee. Pay on arrival, no credit, checks, slaves or souls," Salami Jackson said, going over Tarakudo's order.

"Perfect, they tip generously."

"Wait, what?" Jade and Queenie said together.

"Your order will be on its way in one hour."

"Cancel that order, I can't afford pizza. And wait, how much was that?"

"In life and Louie Lamia's Pizzeria, there are no take backs, miss."

"Hold on, I'm using a spell meant to pierce dimensions, I'm not even sure we're in the right dimension," Jade pointed out.

"That would only add a roaming charge. Besides, according to this oracle skull, you're in Gotham City. We're in a building of the Buried Bricks."

"Oh, well-"

"See you soon, pay or pay!" Salami said, giving a cute wave and smile that showed off a great many fangs in her cute face. The spell shattered, the candles blowing out.

"Why did you do that?" Jade calmly demanded.

"You need to better take care of yourself, and treating yourself is perfectly dark side. Besides, you should support your fellow business monsters, don't you think?"

"That pizza is way overpriced," Queenie remarked, sounding a bit awed.

A booming knock came on the warehouse door.

"My, that is freaky fast delivery," Tarakudo commented. Jade shattered the mirror shard to shut him up, slipping into the shadows to see if a lamia had already slithered up, demanding money or broken legs.

As it turned out, it was a woman dressed scantily yet formally. She presented the Penguin's business card. No message, but none was needed, Jade knew the procedure – this meant come right now, drop everything.

X X X

Jade blinked as she sat in the Penguin's office, while the man himself tucked a manila folder into his desk and pulled out a three-ring binder to start flipping through it. All of which made what he'd said seem more likely.

"Would you care to repeat that, Mr. Cobblepot?" Jade asked.

"I said, young Zhu Chan, that your debt to me has been purchased, and there is no more account between us. If you still wish to patronize the Iceberg Lounge or otherwise do business with us, by all means, but the account in our books has been closed."

"So, I'm in the clear?! No, wait, I've been keeping track. How is this possible?" Jade squealed, before dropping her voice. The Queen rolled her eyes as she leaned on Jade's shoulder, earning a glare from Jade as Penguin twitched his cigarette.

"Do pay attention. I said your debt has been purchased, not paid."

"Huh?"

"Debt is an asset, like anything that can be bought, sold, or traded. A certain party offered me a generous sum of cash up front in exchange for me transferring the debt you owe me to them. In short, I get less money overall, but a bird in hand beats two in the bush, and you have someone new to appease."

Jade's face fell behind her mask. Penguin was not exactly benevolent, but this was probably very bad news – getting a new boss.

"May I ask who I now owe money to?"

"No need, they are waiting for you to discuss matters presently. Miss Linda will show you to the appropriate room. Good evening."

X X X

Jinx had been falling for awhile now.

The book had told her to expect this, along with the various odds and ends of furniture floating in this void as she descended. Rolling up her sleeve, she checked her watch. Which still read unhelpfully, "Not Yet". Yeah, high magic realm shifts could cause all sorts of things to go whacky, even a simple watch. If she wasn't part fey to immunize herself against this realm, she would not have even tried to do this.

"But seriously, how much longer? I don't want to get back and find the party started and ended without me even being there. That would be bad for my rep," Jinx mused.

That's when she hit the bottom, right into a lawn chair about seven times her size.

"Gwahh!?" Jinx said, bouncing a bit on the elastic plastic binds that formed the chair around steel painted rods. As it settled down, Jinx blinked, and the chair fell apart, a quick spring to her feet saving her from getting caught up in the mess.

"Well, okay then. Guess that was a more pleasant arrival than most," Jinx admitted, looking around and seeing she seemed to be on a green bordering a park, with a looming mansion of white marble in the distance, with a red flag she couldn't make out flying over it.

"Okay then, I have landed. So, time to find my new familiar and get back to start training it to help me kick butt for the fireworks," Jinx grinned.

Also, as the spell said she would receive a sign of her familiar, a slip of paper floated down from the sky, practically leaping into her hand.

"A mighty dragon? Heck yeah! When I was a kid, I told that hippie teacher my spirit animal was a T-Rex, and I was definitely closer than her stupid rainbow butterfly!" Jinx crowed, letting out an evil chuckle before tuning and almost walking into a sign face first.

"Hmm?" Jinx went, stepping back to examine the old-fashioned sign with red words painted on it crudely. It read:

JEANT PINZESS AYESTAT
KEP FOF Z GRAZ
-M. DORGENE

With a picture of some kind of animal drawn in the corner with the same paint.

"Huh, well, no time to stand around here reading. I have a familiar to find. And maybe I can a replacement eye finally here," Jinx mused, running a finger over her eyepatch.

"Halt, evil doer! Your spree of badness ends now!" a shrill voice called out as footsteps stomped across the grass. Jinx turned to see sun glint off claws, scales not shimmer in their green dullness, and fangs ping in the light like a retro anime.

Extending her arm and index finger, Jinx halted the little girl in a dragon costume clawing toward her with a windmill style of swinging arms.

"And who are you?" Jinx asked with a smirk.

"I am the guardian of the lawn and all that rests upon it. I also wrote that sign whose warning you have ignored!"

"That sign doesn't say anything."

"It says 'Giant Princess Estate, keep off the grass'. And it says me on it too, because I wrote it! All by myself!" The kid said, still straining against Jinx's finger and swinging her arms.

"Are you the maid's kid over there or something?" Jinx asked, nodding toward the mansion.

"I AM MIGHTY!"

Jinx rolled her eyes and stepped aside as she released the kid, letting her trip and wipe out on the grass. The dragon costume she was wearing was several sizes too big for her, and the tail was just stupidly long, even wrapping a few times like a belt around her yellow-bellied waist as it trailed behind her.

The kid turned on her, huffing and clearly upset. If Jinx had to peg her origin, she'd say Japanese but with a sloppy forelock of anime hair sticking out from her hood.

"So, you seem like a dragon fangirl. Where can I find one?"

"You already did and you haven't just desecrated the lawn, you've destroyed the Lawn Chair of Lost Glory I have sworn to protect!"

Blinking, Jinx looked and saw there was another senseless sign next to the chair she landed on. And another drawing of a critter.

"Why do you draw a hamster on these?"

"They're weasels!"

"Ugh, no indoor voice?"

"We're OUTDOORS! And I draw weasels because I like weasels," the kid said, smiling and wagging her tail at the mention of the garden pest.

"And on that note, goodbye," Jinx said, turning to head toward a nearby road, tuning the kid's tantrum out.

Then she realized the tail of the costume had been wagging. And on instinct threw herself flat on the lawn as a jet of fire surged through the space she had just been occupying. It passed after about five seconds, reduced to coughing. Getting up, Jinx blinked, watching the kid cough smoke. And realized that loose as it hung, she couldn't spot any real seams or other borders. And she had taken a lecture series in "Rubber Mask, Spot the Fake Monster".

"Uh, is that a costume?"

"No, I just haven't grown into my skin. NOW DIE IN THE NAME OF THE LAWN CHAIR OF LOST GLORY!" the kid said, her tiny wings beating and lifting her about two inches off the ground as she drew in a large breath.

"…I already hate this place. You'll pay when I get back, Wicked!" Jinx cursed, dodging the fireblast.

X X X

Linda, one of the Penguin's trademark near-skimpy formalwear henchwomen, had shown Jade to the door to one of the VIP rooms. The ones not on the books. Jade took in the door, as if expecting it to bite.

"Well, get in there, no sense keeping scary people waiting. I mean, if you were going to run, we'd be on our way to New Orleans by now."

"Why New Orleans?" Jade whispered, glancing at the Queen.

"No supers make the front page from that neck of the woods. Good or bad," Queenie somehow shrugged without shoulders.

Teeth aching from the clenching, Jade made a point of opening her mouth to close it gently, and reached out to push the door open with her powers. Her stomachache was getting worse, and she was now officially blaming it on stress.

She was not sure what she expected. She was reasonably sure it wouldn't be Joker or Scarecrow. Penguin would look bad if he sold her out that way, right? But the person inside didn't exactly scream villain, even. If anything, Jade thought she might be a model at first, but then realized even with the loose clothing, the woman was too well built for that. Fair skin, but too healthy to be called pale. Lovely black hair, with just the right volume covering one eye, and just in general great looking. Made Jade feel ugly, ridiculous looking, and short all in one.

"Greetings, Zhu Chan. I am Talia al Ghul. I am here on behalf of my father to discuss the business of you working off your debt."

'…Bad day,' Jade thought, as the very, very dangerous woman gestured for her to take a seat across from her.

Jade carefully took the seat, hoping she didn't seem as nervous as she felt.

'Bluff, Jade. You are a badass villain who nearly killed the Joker and escaped Batman. You have a record, you have the rep. And you are and always have been badass. All she's got on you is looks, and connections, and a father that can probably have most people in the world murdered if he wants it, and massive amounts of money, whose value you have come to better appreciate lately.'

"No need to be nervous," Talia said, holding up a finger, which summoned a bald man dressed like a ninja, carrying a tray with two steaming teacups. Talia gestured for Jade to take one as the man offered her the tray.

"So much for bluffing, she read you like the comic section," Queenie snickered.

"Shut up," Jade said to Queenie. Talia raised an eyebrow as Zhu Chan/Karasu spoke to thin air on her shoulder. Of course, it might well be some familiar spirit; it either was too weak for her protections to activate or simply non-hostile, so she ignored it and moved on.

"You seem to know who I am."

Jade nodded.

"Good, that saves time. As to the question of why my father has purchased your debt, the simple answer is because he can make use of you. And in turn, you will find he is more generous to those who prove useful to him than Mr. Cobblepot and his ilk. Your target is a small Kobra base on an island in the Atlantic. You leave at once; we have high-speed aircraft to get you there. You will be given the full details en route; in summation, we want you to steal this item, a magic lantern that Kobra has stored there."

"A lantern?"

"Correct, you don't need to know what my father requires it for. Fortunately, Kobra is also unaware of its true nature. But if it becomes known that my father seeks it, they and others will dig deeper and possibly become aware of its true significance."

"So, you need me, a so-called free agent, to get it."

"Correct. While the job is doable, it's highly unlikely the lantern can be seized without detection."

"So, a creepy sci-fi snake cult or whatever will be chasing me?"

"Your payment will be sufficient, and you already have lodging well-suited to insulate you from retaliation. And as you will be acting without any official ties to our organization, you may approach this objective at your own discretion. Be as brutal or merciful as you wish, all my father cares about is that the lantern is delivered to the League, and that the League is not seen as involved."

"Can I ask how much you are paying?" Jade ventured.

"You can, but you may be interested to know in addition to what has been said, if you please my father with your performance, you will receive this," Talia said, pulling a polished dark metal case off the table. Pressing some unseen mechanism, the case popped open and Jade's eyes bugged above her mask.

It was wrapped in sutra and the inside of the box was engraved with wards, but there was no mistaking it. An Oni mask of the Shadowkhan. Specifically, the mask of Ikazuki, seeming to glare at her with its visible eyes.

'The thread that can lead me home,' Jade realized, feeling very light and very cold at the same time.

There was no choice, even if it meant throwing herself into a war between criminal empires.

"When do I leave?" Jade asked sharply.

"Now. A car is waiting to take you to the airfield."

"You're lucky I always pack for trouble, "Jade snarked.

The Buried Bricks:

In Jade's apartment, a red light shined through the keyhole, and a click was followed by the doorknob turning. Salami Jackson opened the door, cap pressed down on her head and a large pizza box with a bag and soda balanced on her left hand entered. A quick search confirmed no one was here either. Frowning, she reached into her fanny pack and pulled out a slice of pepperoni and capocollo and flicked them onto the floor.

"ARISE, MY SISTERS!" she declared, making a series of hand signs with her free hand. Puddles of shadows with burning edges spread out from the meat slices.

As the borders of the shadows stabilized, a figure arose from each, the shadows running off of them like oil. They resembled Salami closely, save one was better endowed in the chest and the other in the area that would be hips for a human, and wore different hairstyles and more modest clothing in the form of a tank top reading "I heart Hobbits", and the other wearing a short-sleeved shirt decorated in a diamond pattern of white black gold and red.

As the two lamias rose into full view, their matching eyes snapped open, and they glared at Salami, who was waving at them with closed eyes.

"Hey Pepperoni, hey Capocollo!" she greeted them.

"What in the name of Yade Khan's four bountiful mounds are you doing, Salami! I was this close to getting to first base with that absolutely kawaii hobbit bard from Building C!" Pepperoni shook her fist at her sister, making her loose long hair shake with her swaying anger.

"And I was close to a breakthrough on making a better drinkable pizza. Sardines hold the answer, they were about to crack, I know it," Capocollo pouted.

"We've got a no-pay no-show," Salami answered, holding out the receipt. The two each grabbed an edge with one hand and read the order. Exchanging a look, they nodded and reached down into the shadow under them. Capocollo pulled out a halberd, Pepperoni a pair of khopeshs, and Salami reached down her throat with her free hand and drew forth a kukri knife.

"We can pick up her scent here. Pay or pay!" Salami cried, raising her weapon, with her sisters raising their weapons and echoing the declaration.

Epicland:

Jinx peered into the canyon before her, dark, twisting, and clearly dangerous-looking. Then glanced back at the town made out of gram crackers she had come from. That lethal game of hangman had been a close call, but she had won herself a map with lore for surviving this trek.

Unfolding said map, she checked it again. She had made her way through the singing forest, all out of tune, and the Graham cracker village of cannibals. And that pest, last she saw, was buried under a load of Graham crackers, so it was forward ho to the royal palace dragon stables, where the mightiest dragons were kept.

As for the canyon…

"Pass through safely by not looking at the hippogriff. Okay," Jinx said, shrugging and fixing her eye on the ground right in front of her. The paved road ran through the canyon, so that helped.

She heard the hippogriff without seeing it. First flapping down ominously, then prowling along her blindside. Growling, shrieking, and no doubt trying to provoke her to look. Feeling irritated, Jinx checked the map again, stopping, with the hippogriff following suit, and noticing an asterisk.

Huh, apparently if one of a group looked at it, all would share the dire peril. Well, good her for traveling alone then.

"Hey, you stupid hippogriff, who are you looking at? She's my prisoner in the name of justice!" the dragon girl shouted behind Jinx. As the canyon began to shake and the hippogriff roared, Jinx put a hand to her face and decided she might as well look at the hippogriff.

Buried Bricks:

"Okay kid, how do you know where I'm coming in?" Zatanna asked, tapping some water out of her top hat as she stood outside the public ladies' room, facing Lightning Weasel once more.

"Justice!" Lightning Weasel declared, striking a heroic pose.

"I'm not a villain, kid."

"Yes you are, you're trespassing, breaking and entering, and you used a public toilet without its, against its, its, not the… Not for what a toilet is for," the kid settled, tripping over her words a bit while scribbling in a notepad.

"And that adds up to villain, see!" the weasel girl said, showing what she had written. A series of scribbles, spirals and a picture of a winged dragon breathing fire.

"…Can I speak to your mother?"

"Nope, she's making cheese. And it's the super who gave me fifty bucks to go forth and protect the building from evil!"

"Were you bugging her?"

"No!"

'Yes, then. Okay Zatanna, she's just a kid who somehow got power from the Japanese Shinto Storm God. She's overpowered from a combination of divine power and childhood innocence making her practically invincible. But she's just a kid playing and operating on simplistic ideas of right and wrong. You can figure out a way around-'

"Zap," Lighting Weasel said, poking Zatanna in the thigh and zapping her gain.

THUMP

"…Justice!" Lightning Weasel cheered, before dragging her away again.

X X X

It was a routine high-speed drop-off from a high-tech aircraft, Jade thought, pondering that Jackie had no idea how normal his life was compared to some people. She still didn't quite trust Talia to not set her up, so she forwent the offered personal landing device to use her Shadowkhan wings to exit and land.

Checking the retrieval signal device, Jade casually walked into some of the brush covering the island and pulled out the leather-bound booklet with the map of the base laid out on it.

"Sheesh, what a dinky island. Not even a quaint fishing village to be scared of the snake god or whatever," Queenie said, rising from Jade's shadow to take her customary position curled around her to rest a chin on her shoulder.

Jade flipped through the map, frowning.

"So, Ra's al Ghul. At this rate, we might get Batman in our toilet before we turn twenty after all," Queenie remarked.

"Shut up, I'm going to sneak in and sneak out. Any fight will be surgical. We play this quiet and smart," Jade told her personified dark side.

"Sure, I'm certain everything will go according to plan. Say, is that seagull actually a camera?" Queenie said, pointing out an oddly stationary bird.

15 Minutes Later:

There was a knock at the door.

The Kobra guards were well-armed and well-trained, even if their uniforms left them far from well-dressed. Even so, the two sentries exchanged looks of confused uncertainty at this development. After all, when you are guarding a secret base of your cult on an otherwise uninhabited island, who knocks on what is in essence the front door?

Then a muffled voice called.

"Pizza delivery for Lamia Louie's, pay or pay!" it came, sing-song but muffled.

The guard on the left shrugged, and the guard on the right lifted the latch from a red button and pressed it down with some effort. The explosives named by the staff with a bit of wit as the "Go Away" charges went off, and the two nodded, thinking that must be at least close to what they should do in this situation.

They revised this opinion as a burning hole of darkness appeared in the center of the very secure and large door, making them back up, drawing their rifles to get a bead on it.

"That wasn't very nice," a low hissing voice said, as three pairs of glowing red eyes appeared in the darkness of the portal.

"Command, we have… a problem," right guard said, speaking into his communicator. They dipped their guns as three armed snake women came out.

"Command, were we expecting honored guests?" left guard asked his own communicator, before being punched in the face by a scaled fist.

"Come out girl, and pay for your pizza!" one of the sisters yelled as stomping feet and blaring alarms heralded the coming battle.

Epicland, Pacifist Pete's Roadside Grill:

Jinx tapped her foot at her table, looking over the passive-aggressive nonviolence propaganda adorning the walls. Giving up, she looked to the next table, where the dragon girl was spying on her by peeking over her menu.

"Miss, you already ordered, traditionally that means you return the menu," a waitress said to the dragon.

"Not yet, I need camouflage for justice."

"Hey, where are my chicken fingers?" Jinx demanded while the waitress was nearby.

X X X

Jade narrowed her eyes at the glaring alarm, and gently let the Kobra guard she had knocked out down to the floor. She had not heard good things about this cult, but fact was these cultists hadn't done anything against her or civilians directly related to her, so just showing up out of nowhere and messing them up excessively seemed a bit rude. Besides, with her own experience, who was to say these guys weren't just punch-clock too, at least among the mooks? Not like Blood's robots.

Anyway, she was fairly certain that alarm wasn't for her.

Floating over to the monitor bank of the security room she'd just taken down, she looked over the screens and formed lips under her mask to give a low whistle.

"Guess someone else is mad at them. Well, guess luck occasionally does go in my favor still," Jade thought, watching the snake women advance through the base's efforts to repel them, "Now, can I find out if there is anything standing between me and the lantern from here?"

"Do we know them?" Queenie asked, narrowing her eyes at the relevant screen.

"We can't be expected to keep track of every snake person we meet these days," Jade waved it off.

"…You're just trying to be funny," Queenie accused sulkily, resting her chin on Jade's shoulder.

Epicland, Road to Trouble:

Jinx gave a sigh and shake of her head as the dragon girl gnawed away at the tangled brambles Jinx had thrown her in. She'd deny she was glad the brambles seemed to not actually cut the kid, but she was stuck for the moment. But considering all the ditchable situations Jinx had left her in…

"Hey, kid?"

"Aut?" the dragon said, mouth wrapped around a vine.

"Listen, you want to capture me, I want the blasted familiar I paid for. And we both are supposed to get back that glowing thing to save the kingdom or other before the Queen forks over my goods. So why not help, or at least lay off, and when I'm done, I'll give you a straight-up fight?"

The reply was utterly inarticulate, but clearly a question.

"Well, if you're the hero, justice will prevail, right?"

After thinking it over, the kid gave her a thumbs up.

X X X

"Take me, great beauty, I am yours!" the Kobra soldier said, falling to his knees before Pepperoni, who smacked him aside with the shaft of her halberd.

"Jerks! I'm only into hobbits, these reptile fanboys are creepy," the lamia woman shuddered, slithering down the hallway.

"So, how many proposals was that?" Capocollo asked.

"Nine," Pepperoni deadpanned.

"I've gotten eleven," Capocollo grinned.

"It's not a contest," Pepperoni said, throwing her halberd to blow up an automated cannon that had been rolled into the hallway.

"Spoken like someone who's losing."

"My coils are reserved for adorable, slightly pudgy men with hairy feet," Pepperoni insisted.

"I've gotten sixteen proposals," Salami said, slithering between the two, smiling wide.

"What!?"

"Hey, they're reptile fans, guess they appreciate my less pronounced pieces of mammal traits," she snickered, looking at the prominent features on her sisters.

"Well, stop counting. In case you've forgotten, this is pizza business!" Capocollo snapped.

"You! You will pay for what you've done here today!" A man roared. The blast door they had been approaching bent outward as a massive scaly clawed hand reached under it and pushed it upward, revealing a hulking scarred hairless man towering over them, who started spinning a great flail overhead while baring fangs at them, dripping poison.

"Ohhh," Salami and Capocollo went, looking the man up and down appreciatively, lingering on the scale-patterned skirt that was his only clothing.

"Fine, you two handle this, I'll take the pizza," Pepperoni said, rolling her eyes and trying to grab the pizza box from Salami.

"No way, it's my delivery!"

"Dodge!" Capocollo told the two, letting them scatter before the flail struck the ground they'd been on.

Back in Gotham:

"Impressive," Talia said, accepting the overly ornate lantern from Jade.

"Yeah, it was an odd job, but I pulled it off."

"And your reward, as promised," Talia said. At her words, a ninja dropped from the ceiling and presented her with a briefcase. Jade accepted it and found the mask of Ikazuki, alongside high denomination bills and transparent gold coin rolls.

"Wow… wait, is this putting me further into debt?" Jade asked, pulling back from the offered prize like she'd spotted a trap.

"Hardly," an elegant voice called. It was behind her. Right behind her.

"It's him," Queenie whispered.

"Handy trick, to have a familiar spirit to serve as eyes in the back of your head," Ra's al Ghul said. Queenie made a squealing sound and wrapped herself tight under Jade's arms. Jade's feathers briefly rose in a ripple, but she put them right back down, barely damaging her outfit.

"Not to worry, if I wanted you dead or captured, you would be. Do you understand?" the man called Demon even by many actual mystical beings said, casually yet soundlessly walking into her sight.

"Yes. Yes sir," Jade said.

"We have been watching you, Zhu Chan. And I believe you can be most useful to us indeed."

"How so?" she asked, forcing calm. He gave an almost smile; it occurred to her his beard could have been ridiculous, but not on this man. Those calm, intense eyes, she had no doubt he saw through her, maybe even more than the Joker had.

"In good time. For now, know this is no debt building; your account with us has been diminished substantially, and this is more a gift than payment. Do what you will with it. And in time, we shall likewise do what we will with you. But do not fear, I am not like the Joker – a tool that serves well will be well cared for."

Talia threw something to the ground, making Jade flinch at the flash-bang. Unsurprisingly, she and her father were both gone when it cleared, leaving her alone with the mask and the reward.

"Did things just get worse?" Queenie asked. Jade lifted the case with her power and guided it onto her hand, meeting Ikazuki's wooden gaze.

"Maybe, but keep quiet, I think we're going to be watched from now on," Jade said. She closed the case with a click that loomed in the silent darkness.

Then the door to the warehouse slammed open.

"Ah crap, it was a trap!" Jade yelled. Her outfit shredded apart as her feather armor formed and the beak formed over her face, mask flipping up into the air.

"PIZZA DELIVERY!" A bandaged Salami declared, holding up the box and bundle like a trophy, while her sisters aimed their weapons at Jade.

"Huh?" Jade asked.

"You're getting such a roaming charge, young lady!"

"And the battle penalty."

"And this baby is still hot, so each of us better get a tip."

"I smell gold! We're getting great tips, girls!"

"…Ah crap," Jade sighed, landing and imagining her payday flying away.

'Curse you, Tarakudo,' she thought as the three smiling lamias presented her with the pizza box, and she realized she needed to invest in a new outfit too.

Epicland, Queenly Castle:

Jinx was trying to keep her feelings from showing as revelry worthy of a kids public broadcasting program broke out as their very important amulet was returned to its place. When the bard with the bagpipes declared her heroism would live on in song for ages here, she checked to make sure the brat was preoccupied eating the free cake to sneakily make her way up to the throne. It wasn't just tacky; it was actually glowing. Which matched it perfectly with the plump middle-aged queen in the sparkly blue dress.

"So, now that I solved your big problem and Baron Badblood is sealed inside a giant lollipop in an iceberg, can we talk turkey about dragons, Your Majesty?" Jinx asked, trying to come off as casual.

"Whatever do you mean, dear young lady?" the Queen asked, seeming too surprised to be real. But considering this place, it might just be genuine, so Jinx kept it together.

"You might recall, I told you I came here to secure myself a sweet familiar so I could become… a great hero," Jinx forced herself to say, and held up the slip of paper the spell had left her with. The Queen took the paper and nodded.

"Great, so I can just drop down to the dragon stables and find the mightiest one there? The other students will be so jealous when I ride back into the realm with a dragon," Jinx said, happily wringing her hands.

"Oh, there's no need for that," the Queen waved it off with laugh.

"Yes, yes there is," Jinx corrected.

"You've had a dragon with you the whole time," the Queen said, using her heart-shaped scepter to point to the brat, who had seemingly gotten tired of cake and turned her attention to chewing on her foot.

"…No," Jinx said, finger raised. The Queen giggled, and Jinx felt a chill flow down her back. With a gesture of her wand scepter, the Queen picked the dragon-like kid off the floor and levitated her over to hang in the air above them. It took a moment for the little fool to notice, and then she just-

"Hi!"

Said hi.

"Dearie, didn't you introduce yourself to Jinx here?"

"Uh-huh. I told her, I'm Mighty."

"She means your name, kid," Jinx sighed, rolling her eye.

"I know, say your name."

"I am! I can't forget. I wrote it on my foot so I won't forget, cause I'm smart," the kid said, puffing out her chest – literally, it was a little disturbing of a sight – and she let steam out of her nose to deflate it. Then grabbed her foot to show Jinx and the Queen the sole of her scaly foot and the two words written on it.

"'Mighty Dragon', there you have it, in black and yellow," the Queen said happily.

For a moment, Jinx was stunned this dunce had apparently managed to write something correctly, then realization settled in.

"Pass," she croaked, as Mighty started nibbling her foot again.

"Ah, ah, aahhh, no take-backs, you agreed to that with the ritual, you two have a lifetime bond," the Queen chided smiling.

"What about the Lawn Chair of Lost Glory?" Mighty asked.

"Yeah, that! She is honor-bound to not serve me her whole life for breaking the stupid chair!" Jinx pleaded.

"Oh, just forget about that, little one. I'll have it replaced with the Lawn Chair of Misplaced Glory."

"Okay, can I take my mailbox with me? I don't want to lose my best pen-pal friend."

"Ah yes, the weasel that was struck by lightning," the Queen nodded as Jinx stood stiff.

"Ah, I get it, this was all just a dream brought on by too much spicy food and anxiety, better get some flying in before I wake up. Later, losers!"

"Bye-bye," Mighty said, as Jinx swan-dived off the plinth to smack face first onto the floor.

"Ouch."

"Not a dream, dearie."

"Wahoo!" Mighty said, diving off herself to land on Jinx's back, making her cry out.

"I think you two will be good for each other," The bard said down to Jinx, before he started playing the pipes again.

Sometimne Later:

"Ugh, last time I eat pizza from that place," Jade griped, getting out of bed. She glared at the empty pizza box on her table, as if to curse it for her aching lower torso.

"Really? Because last night you declared it the best pizza ever. And that was after those snake girls shook you down. But at least they didn't want the mask."

"I've still got plenty of money from the al Ghuls' payment, they weren't that greedy. But man, that pizza isn't settling," Jade groaned.

"Maybe it's because you ate an entire pizza that was bigger than you in one night instead?"

"No. It's the pizza's fault. Oh, I'd better not have to plunge to toilet after this," Jade said, pulling the curtain to enter her bathroom.

X X X

Asuka-Tammy grumbled as they skittered over to their door, a sudsy little dual drider clamped firmly in their arms.

"It just never fails; you capture your kids for a good scrubbing, and the doorbell rings," Asuka grumbled.

"Who is it?" Tammy greeted in a sing-song style. The door swung open to reveal Zhu Chan, though dressed like she'd just gotten out of bed, her spiky red hair askew, and that's all they registered before the girl screamed.

"Huh?!" The two halves said in shock, Asuka clutching the surprised little drider closer while Tammy clapped hands over her ears. Zhu Chan started blathering after the scream in what may have been Japanese, a native tongue from another dimension, or High Panic. In the midst of the inarticulate noise, she held up a dark blue egg the size of two Zhu Chan fists.

"Ohhh, first time laying an egg?"

"…In the toilet, constipated…" Zhu Chan groaned, bug-eyed.

"We gave birth in the toilet the first time too, no shame," Asuka said.

"Grkkkkkkkkkk…" Zhu Chan groaned, tilting to the side with unseeing eyes.

"Yep, she's gone," Asuka said, as Tammy plucked the egg with one hand carefully and picked the stiff as a board girl up under one arm.

"Well, let's rinse this one and release the rest. This little lady needs to visit the egg expert. She probably doesn't even realize it may not be fertilized."

X X X

"Still stiff, Zhu?" Asuka asked as she and Tammy emerged from the stairwell into a short hallway.

"Gerrk," Jade said. That being said, she wasn't stiff as a board anymore.

"For what it's worth, this is a nice-looking egg. Very pretty shade of blue," Tammy said, inspecting the egg.

"Don't think that's helping, Tammy. Anyway, we've brought you to the penthouse, yes, the BB has them. Because it's here we have our local expert on all things eggy. See, says so right on the sign," Asuka said, as they reached a door that was dark wood inlaid with tree designs, and a sign next to the door screwed to the wall.

"Oliviadorah, 52, Oioatry, Certified Expert on Eggs and Egg-Related Offspring. Credit Cards and Slaves Not Accepted. Business Hours Vary," Tammy read aloud for Jade.

"She's a bit… weird, but she knows her stuff," Asuka said, ringing the doorbell, with classic music sounding. That got Jade to snap back to raise an eyebrow at the ketchup makers.

The door swung open silently, and serene violin music emerged into the hall, while five golden hydra heads each adorned with three horns poked out, looking at the arrivals.

"Hi."

"Greetings."

"Hello."

"Are you here for business?"

"Young twins, are you pregnant again already?"

They were, if Jade had to sum it up, cute. Not pretty, but their features were soft and their purple on black eyes were quite expressive and big. Each of them had a single fang peaking over their lips, and while it looked like they could fit her head in their mouths, she wasn't getting any feeling of danger from them.

"No, Your Majesty, today this girl is the star. It's her first time, and her egg needs assessment," Tammy said, holding up the egg.

"Ahhhh," all the heads said together, practically bumping into each other as they surged forward to stare at the egg. Jade was not thinking of it as her egg. No, no way.

"Come inside, I will learn all there is to know of it. As luck would have it, I made blueberry muffins an hour ago; I think you'll find the cheese garnish just delightful."

"Cheese, eh? Present for your hubby?" Asuka said as they entered what looked like a room decorated to look like a cave decorated to look like some Victorian palace. Jade had little attention to spare for the decor, though, as the place was full of heads on long necks. She realized that the 52 on the sign likely meant the number of heads this hydra had.

The heads were doing everything, from reading magazines to vacuuming, writing notes to sleeping on pillows on the floor, and one was even in the process of slowly eating a giant sub while two others cheered her on.

"Uh, so, is each head…?" Jade asked Asuka-Tammy as they took a seat on a couch before a coffee table, with a platter of the mentioned muffins set on it by another head.

"Please don't ask."

"Do not get them going on philosophy."

"Also don't mention humans."

"Or ask about her husband. He's a great guy, aside from the 'conquer all humans' thing, but she could talk for days about him, and might insist on taking you to her home dimension just to meet him in person. Never mind if he and you have things to do."

"And do not, do not, ask about Kevin," The duo said to Jade, as one of Oliviadorah's heads took the egg by wrapping it in her tongue and carrying it out of sight.

"…Okay," Jade said, sitting up a bit taller on the maroon couch, having spotted a mass of scales across the room where the necks seemed to converge.

'Can her body even move with the weight of all those heads and necks?" Jade wondered.

Thirty-Two Minutes Later:

They'd been served tea with an English-style tea set, while waiting at the couch. Jade was surprised just how dexterous the hydra could be when her only limbs seemed to be heads; she'd even provided them each with a copy of Multi-Head Case Monthly and a paperback fantasy light novel.

Jade had just admitted to herself she was going to ask for the recipe for the tiny cookies, when a head came up on her right and presented the horrid egg balanced atop her snout.

"Congratulations, young lady, to the best of my magnificent royal knowledge, you are not a mother yet."

"What?/Really?" Asuka-Tammy asked in stereo.

"Oh thank God," Jade sighed, practically deflating on the couch, but her grip unwavering on the cookie.

"Yep, this little number requires magical fertilization. But still a good effort for your first try. Keep at it, and one day you might be able to make something almost third place to this!" Oliviadorah said, her various necks parting to display her body. Which revealed a pair of thick heavy draconic legs by standing up, revealing a glittery golden egg that practically glowed and was bigger than Jade.

Then one of the heads, with a flashlight in her mouth, shined a light on it, and Jade shrieked at the flash of light as one of the heads started playing epic music.

"Yes, glorious, is it not!? An egg among eggs. Who else but a princess who has enough heads and royal magnificence to be her own cabinet, core palace staff, wizard and alchemist, could possibly lay such a grand and glorious egg? And who's inside the egg, you ask?"

"We didn't ask!" Asuka-Tammy pleaded in sync. Jade, meanwhile, her pain had faded in favor of annoyance, wondering if she dared take the cushion off her face, she'd get subjected to a wallet photo of the egg.

"None other than the glorious magnificent offspring of my glorious self and my most majestically male husband. The Golden Winged Hydra of Prophecy that will finish his father's work by breaking the back of the decadent mammal civilizations and usher in the Golden Age of the Great Reptiles by raining lightning and fury down upon their corrupt works! His name's Kevin!" she practically chirped, with it sounding like all the heads got in on it.

"Okay, well, thanks, we need to-" Jade said, muffled.

"But I pride myself on service, so I will get a second opinion by consulting the only expert on eggs to rival myself. One moment, girls, while I pop over to the ye olde home dimension."

"Wait, you can go through dimensions!?" Jade said, ripping the pillow off. The egg was no longer assaulting her sight, back under the body, and one of the necks was sticking though an angry looking burning hole with eerie sounds coming from it.

"Well, not all of her."

"Poor Ghido; sometimes I wonder if he sent her and his son to hide from heroes in his dimension just because his wife is a bit too much."

"A bit?" Jade asked.

"You know I'm still here, right dearies?" One of the heads said, slinking from under the couch with another tea pot to refill their cup.

"Err."

"Someday, you girls will understand the complexity of being married to an apex male with a sensitive side. Egads! I forgot to grab a present for my visit!"

Meanwhile in Dimension Howard Kaguya 15F:

The united Saurian army stamped the butt of spears, feet, and in the absence of either, tails in roaring skyward as Ghido stood on high overlooking the plaza of the fallen human city, the blasted place framing his broad shoulders. He raised his arms, showing off his mighty form and the scarred but unbroken bronze armor adorned with runes aglow with blue power. Tilting his head back, the mighty green lizard man let out a roar that drowned out the adulation and made the flames smoldering in the city flare back to life.

He broke the silence, reaching into a basket offered by a svelte scaled woman with smooth indents on her face where eyes should be. Applause broke out anew as he held up a severed hero's head by its weak human hair.

"My glorious vassals, we are triumphant! Behold, this city, which was said to never fall until the end of the age, is meat for our jaws, and its champion a trophy to be feasted upon! Our foes despair, our nests rejoice! For this day is only the beginning of a great reaping of the herds of Man that shall give way-"

"Hi honey, this a bad time?" Oliviadorah asked, her head popping out of a screaming hole just big enough to squeeze through.

"…Dear, we discussed this, you're supposed to remain in hiding until that pesky prophecy has been smashed, pureed, and fed to a duck. We both know that pesky habit humans have of pulling a ridiculous last-minute win," Ghido said, dropping his voice to a normal tone.

"What's with that tone? It sounds like you're not happy to see me?"

"Of course I am, but could you maybe send a letter in advance, establish a time for visiting?"

"So I can visit now? If anything, a surprise visit should be safer! Hmph, why not just go and say this whole warlord thing is taking priority over attending to all my glorious heads and the body attached to them!"

"Dear, you know I loved you when you just had one head, I do this so all your heads can have the life you deserve."

"Hmm, oh, Dragon Elf Archer Woman! It's been too long! Have you managed to get your eggs to hatch yet?" Oliviadorah said, taking notice of the svelte attendant.

The woman answered with a growling shriek and wave of her hand.

"Well, I may have just the thing to finally get you and your husband in business on birthing a new subspecies. Spread this Earthly substance called peanut butter on magic eggs during a dark moon, and you can get interesting results- but only the organic chunky, anything else will summon vengeful penguin warriors from parts unknown. I almost ended up with 521 heads before banishing them back from whence-"

"Dear, did you have a reason for coming here?" Ghido asked, slightly slumped as his army looked with awe upon the glorious queen's head.

"Oh yes, is this egg a dud?" she asked, coughing a blue egg up from her throat, which he caught. Holding it up to his ear hole, he tapped it three times.

"Not a dud, but it needs someone to give the mystic special sauce. But if you break it now, it would make a nice explosion," he said.

"I thought as much. Oh, at least you prepared a nice apology gift!" she chirped happily, and before he knew it, she had snapped up the hero head and gulped it down.

"Ahh, that's the stuff, no anti-hero or post-modern deconstruction there, good ol' fashion mammalian justice, truth and what not."

"Uh, yes, I know what you like."

"Oof!" Oliviadorah went, as another of her heads rammed through the hole, crowding her. This one holding a wheel of cheese in her jaws.

"And here's some cheese to show we are always thinking of you."

"Oh, thanks," he said, taking the cheese while handing the egg back to one of her tongues.

"Well, honey, I know you want to catch up as it's been so long, but your wife is quite busy helping confused ladies deal with eggs they can lay but never adequately comprehend. So toodles, and best of luck with the conquest to break humans to the rule of a more competent and benevolent genus."

And like that, she was gone as quick as she came.

"…So, where was I?" he asked the elf reptile hybrid woman, handing off the cheese to her. She just smiled unhelpfully, before making a loud kissing noise and giggling.

"Oh, forget it, the moment is lost. WE FEAST, MY WARRIORS!"

H.I.V.E.:

"So, villain takeover, evacuation, and a volcanic eruption, and everyone's just going back to business as usual?" Jinx asked. She and her teammates were seated at their usual table in the lunchroom.

"Well, apparently Slade is dead," Mammoth reminded her. Jinx rolled her eye at that.

"I won a good bit of money off those losers in the betting pool, though. I knew that scrawny blonde didn't have it in her to commit to villainy. And she got a door slam too! Ha, with all that cash I'll get my own lab, finally."

"Jinx."

"Man, I blip out to another realm for a few days and the game changes."

"Yeah, so, still going to try and graduate?" Mammoth asked. Jinx stopped short on biting into her sandwich to look up at the big villain.

"Jinx."

"What the heck? Why would I drop out?" the fey hybrid demanded.

"Well, you know…" Mammoth shrugged, not meeting her eyes.

"I know what?" she pressed, getting up a little in her chair while her hand was being tugged on.

"Jinx!"

"He's taking about you becoming a single mother. The death of all villainess careers," Gizmo chuckled.

"Jinx!" Mighty insisted, sitting under the table with her own empty plate, tugging on Jinx's hand.

"I'm not a single mom, and WHAT!?" Jinx declared, before yelling down into her familiar's face.

"…Hi!" Mighty said, smiling wide and waving to her. Jinx smacked her face into the tabletop.

"Yep, shall we play taps for your career in villainy?" Mammoth asked.

"I wanna fight Lightning Weasel. We're best friends. She's cute. Can we go outside? Is there more chicken?" her familiar asked Jinx, peeking over the tabletop.

"…Blue, whatever nightmare you're going through in Gotham can't be as humiliating as this. And you, Wicked! I see you there! I will have my revenge!" Jinx declared, pointing to the other magical teen villain as he tried to finish his pudding across the table.

"Do I need to be a hero before I can date Lightning Weasel, or can villains date heroes?" Mighty asked.

"You're too young for those questions," Jinx snapped, shoving the dragon girl's head back under the table.

"Hey! There's gum down here."

"Don't eat that," Jinx demanded, going under the table herself.

"Sad to see another young villain end their career before it begins with unplanned parenthood," Mammoth said solemnly.

"Meh, I betcha she would have turned good over some fast-talking charmer of a hero anyway," Gizmo said.

"Don't listen to them, little witch! You can be a parent and still be evil! Gadjo has seen it many times!" the Roma villain called from his own table.

Buried Bricks:

"Okay, this time for sure," Zatanna said, tapping her head with her wand. The illusion wove over her with a tingly sensation; now people will perceive her as someone friendly, someone else entirely at that.

It could get awkward as spells went, but it should be enough to get past that kid's bit of reality bending.

All this bolstered, she pushed open the mail locker and pulled herself out of the seemingly too small space like a rabbit pulling itself from the hat.

"Right then, now to find the other overpowered magical kid in this place."

"Halt in the name of justice!" Lightning Weasel yelled, running around a corner in the hallway.

"Hi," Zatanna said, playing it safe as the would-be superhero skidded to a halt, looking at her in surprise.

'Give me a clue of who you see,' Zatanna thought.

"You! My rival and love interest!"

"…What?"

"So you finally come here to test your might against me in person! The last living child of Cheese Weasel! My siblings fell to all manner of odd deaths, but I survived being struck by divine lightning and harnessed its power. Your strength may be mighty, but I defy the odds just by staying alive when I should die! In the name of Justice, I will defeat you!"

"…Crap, but this is the last straw," Zatanna said, drawing her wand from her sleeve as the kid leapt toward her, covered in coursing electricity.

X X X

Jade slumped at her table, the egg resting on a napkin where Asuka-Tammy had left it. Queenie formed from her shadow and coiled around to face her.

"Well, good news then, you're not an underage mother," her talkative dark side said, "…nothing? Well okay, sure, the likely daily egg laying will be bit of a pain, but it's basically free grenades. A little paint and no one will likely even realize they are eggs, much less where they came from. Oh, come on! You get your species morphed, drafted into the dark side, with me and Big Red telling you you're still on this team because you like it, get your face carved up by the Joker, and turn into a magical shadow chicken, and laying eggs is what breaks you? Zhu Chan, you are better than this. If you've got emotional constipation, get up and go out and take it out on someone. It's Gotham, you can't hardly toss a cat without hitting a grade-A creep of some kind. In fact, pick up that egg and use that to blast them."

"Ugh, I'll just toss it in the river," Jade said, floating up from the table and grabbing the egg.

Then came a knock on the door.

"Think it's the amazing spider twins back to offer you tomato-based booze in honor of your not-motherhood?"

"I almost hope it's Kitten for another round," Jade griped, floating to the door. She opened it wide, and her eyes widened at the familiar stranger.

"Hey kid, name's-"

"Zatanna! You work with Batman," Jade gasped.

"Right, good, you know," the slightly charred mage said, nodding, hands on her hips. Her eyes fell on the egg the young villain was holding.

"No Bat Trouble! My day is lousy enough. And this isn't mine, you hear, I'm holding it for someone else!" Jade yelled at her, holding the egg up.

Zatanna blinked, then Jade threw the egg in her face, slamming the door with her powers.

BOOM

Jade opened the door to see the now thoroughly charred mage passed out, embedded a bit in the wall.

"There, don't you feel better now?" Queenie smiled, chin on Jade's shoulder.

"Shut up. HEY! Somebody call the super, we got a trespasser!" Jade called, before closing the door.

"About time I had a little good luck, I think I just beat a Justice League member," Jade congratulated herself.

H.I.V.E.:

Jinx tapped her pen on the tabletop, waiting for the lecture to start. She glanced down to confirm Mighty was lying on the floor under the table, drawing with the colored pencils on the paper.

"Jinx, I know we've been ribbing ya, but why are you taking her with you to class now?" Mammoth asked from the next seat over.

"Because while I can order her to stay in my room and she will, there's no stopping her from chewing on the furniture when she gets bored. And she doesn't like watching screens; for some reason they provoke her," Jinx said, silently mourning her TV.

"Huh, so any ideas on your revenge?"

"Attention students, today's special for lunch has been changed to Southwest Express, repeat Southwest Express," the PA suddenly announced.

'Crap, the coup is happening now,' Jinx thought, keeping herself from flinching.

She tapped her familiar in the side with her foot.

"Hey, we're going to the bathroom," she said. To her surprise, instead of any argument or loud agreement, the little dragon girl thing narrowed her eyes and nodded, rolling out from under the table to stand up.

'Good instincts,' Jinx thought, without noticing she had taken the offered hand from the kid as they left the room.

"Poor Jinx," Mammoth lamented, having noticed.


Author's Note:

Hope I still got it after all this time with this story. Not sure how many still care about this fic after all this time, but here it is regardless as a Christmas present to any still interested or any curious new reader that come along.

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!