"Why are you hiding out in the kitchen, Peanut?"

Erin looked over her shoulder at Damon, giving him a sad smile as she shook her head a little, spilling the tears that had been clinging to her eyelashes. His eyebrows drew together as he strode over to her side, taking the empty seat next to her before patting his shoulder with the opposite hand. Erin took the invitation almost instantly, resting her cheek there as she allowed herself to cry. "Mother, Mother sent back the Christmas card we sent her."

"Ah, Peanut, Lexie told me that things were rough between you and your mom still. Is that why your children aren't here?"

"Yet. They're not here yet. Alan gets them Christmas Eve, they're going over to Mother's on Christmas Day for dinner, and then flying out here to be with us from Boxing Day until we go home on the fifth."

Damon chuckled a little as he nodded, and Erin felt herself bristle at the sound, her heart still overly tender at the thought of being rejected by all her family. "Ah, Peanut, I'm not laughing at you, I promise. I'm laughing at the idea of how you have everything regimented down to the minute in your head. There could be a freak snowstorm, you know, that would ground the planes."

"There's always trains, and they might be a little late, but they'll be here. They have to be," she muttered fiercely as she set her coffee mug down on the table and turned towards Damon, wrapping her arm around his middle as she allowed herself to sob. "I'm glad Lexie is out getting groceries, I don't like her to see me like this. After I clawed and scraped my way back to life, I don't want her to think of me as weak."

Damon picked up her hand before sliding his thumb down to the infinity scar on her wrist, tracing it tenderly. "I honestly do not think that my daughter would ever think of you as weak in any circumstance under the sun. You being sad about your mom rejecting you this way? She's going to understand."

"You're damn right, Dad."

Erin looked up to see her wife standing there, her arms full of grocery bags, and she shrugged a little as she pulled away from Damon and rose to her feet. "Do you need help bringing in any more bags?" she asked softly, her eyes sliding away from Alex's gaze.

"I think Dad should be able to get the rest," Alex evenly replied as she dropped what she was holding onto the table and took hold of Erin's hand. "Is that okay, Dad?"

"Of course, Bug." Damon got up as well, heading out to the garage, leaving them alone.

"Hey, Rin, look at me." She finally lifted her face to Alex, taking in the sad smile there, and as her control broke once more, she pressed her body against Alex's as she began to openly weep. Alex closed her arms around Erin, pressing a firm kiss to the side of her head before guiding them into the living room. Erin wasn't surprised to have Alex press her down onto the sofa before she moved away, and as her weeping eased a little, she smiled to see that her wife had been busy closing the curtains in the room before turning the tree lights on. "You should consider yourself lucky. Usually Scotty wins out and we have colored lights on our tree. When Dad heard that you preferred white lights on the tree, he had my brother run out and buy as many as he could find, for you."

"Oh," she murmured as Alex took a seat next to her, and then she was sliding down her wife's body so that she could rest her head in her lap and watch the tree. "I love your dad."

"He's your dad, too, now. We're married, after all. While I can't give you another mother, I can give you him."

"And I love you all the more for that, darling." She took a deep breath as she tried to finally stop crying. "I suppose that what they say is true, no one loves you like family. Especially at this time of year."

"Do your kids have to see her?"

Erin nodded slowly, relishing the feel of Alex's fingers running through her hair as a brittle silence enveloped them. "She'll make things worse if they don't go, you know that. She had issues with me seeing David, especially given the way he kept her away from the hospital as I was recovering from John. But when I went back to you? After she separated us when we were young? That was the final straw. I just assumed she'd…"

"Be decent?" Erin nodded, and Alex let out a soft sigh as she slid her hand down to her shoulder and began to rub it gently. "Hope springs eternal, especially this time of year." She nodded once more before turning onto her back so that she could look into Alex's eyes. "Tell me something. Please."

"What, darling?"

Alex ran her finger down Erin's nose before pressing the digit against her lips. "Name three people who love you when I remove my finger. Don't overthink it, tell me the first three people who come to mind."

She smiled before kissing Alex's finger, and then she was pulling it away, allowing Erin to speak. "You, your father, my children."

"And Scotty?" She nodded. "So, I know that we can't replace the void your mother's absence creates, but I do know that we will be the family that you thought you lost when your mother cut you off. I thought you weren't going to send her a card this year?"

Erin sighed as she took hold of Alex's hand and pressed it against her torso, wanting to feel her warmth there. "I wasn't, but then I remembered how faithfully I sent you cards, every year, in efforts to make amends for what I did to you. I eventually wore you down, and look where we are now. Is it so wrong to expect a third miracle in my life?"

Alex rolled her eyes lovingly before she bent down and pressed her lips against Erin's forehead. "Two miracles are more than we should expect in one lifetime. But I understand the hope that comes this time of year." Erin nodded before turning her head back to look at the tree, the lights sparkling cheerily. "You're my miracle, Erin."

"And you're mine," she whispered in reply as she closed her eyes, listening to the sounds of the house and her wife settle into her soul as she drifted off to sleep. Sometime later, she woke up feeling eyes on her, and she carefully opened one eye to try and figure out who was staring so intently. Her brow furrowed together to see Tabitha sitting in front of the tree, a bright red bow sitting on top of her head. "Tabby?"

"In the flesh, Mama. Bruce and Karen couldn't get flights out as quickly as I could, since I'm still a single pringle, and they have to coordinate seats for their partners and the kiddos. And Dad will be here on Christmas Day. Don't worry, Alex and Damon said it would be okay if he spent the day here, I asked already."

"I don't…"

"Grandma. She called all three of us in order of birth, to try and get us to spend all of Christmas with you, spewing her usual crap about how you are a complete failure as a mother, and we need to cut you out of our lives. I was quite proud of Brucie, he told her to fuck off."

"Tabitha! Language!"

"Mama, that doesn't work on my any longer, I'm a grown adult. But I will try to control my words, for you." Her daughter winked as Erin sat up, realizing that Alex was no longer in the room with them. "She's talking with Damon. I think this time, Grandma might have gone too far." Tabitha got to her feet and loped over to the sofa, plopping down next to her and cuddling in close. "I'm staying here, in Danny's room, or so Damon told me. Everyone else will be Scotty's house, and he's taking up residence in his old room until we go home after the New Year."

"You didn't have to…"

"Stop, Mama. We wanted to come here, immediately. I wish that I could have gotten here sooner. Because for as much as Alex loves you, we're your children, and we get the final say on when we can come see you." Tabitha pressed her lips against Erin's cheek, and she nodded a little before welcoming her youngest's arm around her waist. "I take it that Damon allowed you to decorate the tree?"

"Why would you say that?" she replied with a watery chuckle, combing her fingers through her daughter's hair.

Tabitha scoffed before gesturing towards the tree. "Mama, last year those lights were festive, colorful. This year, they're that elegant white that you love. And that I love, too."

She nodded as she began to hum beneath her breath, feeling a bit calmer for having her daughter there. "You're not upset about having to be here with people a generation older than you?"

"Wild horses would have to drag me away from your side, Mama," was the instant reply, and Erin's smile widened a little. "But I smell hot chocolate."

Erin drew in a deep breath, smelling what her daughter smelled. "I believe that my wife might be bringing us a holiday treat."

"You'd be right, Erin. Dad and Scotty headed out to the grocery store to get more food, since we're going to have a few more guests this year. Thankfully, it won't be too much of a madhouse today, that will be tomorrow. And if we run out of anything or need more, I am allowing your mother to use a delivery service. Once we're all here, I don't want to go out for anything, because I want all my time to be spent with my family."

Alex set the tray with the drinks onto the coffee table before tenderly smacking Tabitha's thigh. "I'm comfortable, Alex."

"And I want to sit next to my wife."

Tabitha sighed before scooting away from Erin, making a space for Alex. "You get to have her all the time, you know."

"I know, but I still feel like I'm making up for lost time." She leaned forward and grabbed two of the mugs, handing one to Erin before sipping at her own as their attention drifted back towards the tree. "I see that there are a few more presents beneath the tree."

"I may have brought some things with me. I know that you said you didn't want anything this year, but there were a few things that just seemed right to give you and Alex. Plus, it would be poor form to not get Damon and Scotty anything, since they're hosting us in their homes. Now, I'm going to go see if Damon needs any help making supper for us."

Tabitha pressed a quick kiss to Alex's cheek before getting to her feet and then hugging Erin tightly. As she left the room, she gave them a sweet smile, and Erin returned the gesture, waggling her fingers at her daughter before letting out a long breath. "Would you mind, terribly, if we disappeared upstairs for a little while, at least until supper is ready? I want to take a nap, but not one we could do in the public areas of the house."

"Head up to our room, and I'll let the others know our plans, so that we're not interrupted."

Erin nodded as she rose to her feet, stretching so that she could crack her back before traipsing up the stairs and turning into Alex's bedroom. After making certain the door was closed, Erin stripped off her clothes, folding it before placing it on the dresser and going to the bed, crawling beneath the covers and turning onto her side so that she could watch for Alex. Her wife joined her a few minutes later, a tender smile on her lips. "That didn't take so long, darling."

"Tabitha had an inkling that you were about to shut down, and said that she'd tell Scotty to go slowly with making food." As she spoke, Alex also disrobed, though she dropped her clothes in a pile atop Erin's before joining her in the bed. "I told them that this wouldn't be the best idea, but Karen, of all your children, was insistent. They're not going to have contact with your mother any longer. They love you, so much, dear."

Erin sighed as she nodded, wrapping her arm around Alex's waist before snuggling in closer to her wife, resting her forehead against Alex's and giving her a soft kiss. "And I love them dearly. I just wanted a little time to hide away and heal from her words, without having to assuage my children. I know that makes me so selfish, but…"

"Fuck that, Erin. You're not selfish for wanting to break down away from the eyes of your children. Even if they are adults, you still feel the need to protect them, yes?" Erin nodded slowly. "So, we'll take these moments here, and get you as shored up as possible. Once they return home, we'll decompress together. Say, in Aruba?"

"Too warm."

"Sweden?"

"Too much snow."

"All right, then, smartass, where do you want to go?"

"Ireland. Somewhere on the coast, where we can be alone and watch the sea in all her angry winter glory, and I can maybe purge some of this sorrow and anger in me?"

Erin paused, not knowing how Alex would reply to her idea, and then her wife was nodding before pressing another kiss to her lips. "I think that that sounds like a perfect plan. I'll arrange to work remotely for the first two weeks of the semester, and we can escape for a while. Now turn over so that I can spoon you. That is why you wanted to nap nude, yes?"

"You know me so well, Lexie," she whispered in response as she did as told, scooting back so that there was nothing separating her and Alex, welcoming her arm around her waist and the way Alex's hand spread out on her torso. She was quick to cover her wife's hand with her own, threading their fingers together as she yawned deeply. "We're going to make this a merry Christmas, yes?"

"Yes, Erin. With love filling every moment of it. Now go to sleep so that we can be bright eyed for supper. I love you."

"I love you, too," she whispered as she allowed her eyes to close, relaxing into her wife as she thought about the coming holiday, and how she'd get through it with her wife by her side, filling each moment with love.